(1) Popular Categories Archives - Page 11 of 18 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

November 13, 2015

Best Virtual Notary Comedy Compilation

Here are some of our more popular comedy themes other than sit-coms which is on another post!

Welcome to the Notary Hotel
Some Notaries stay here their entire commission!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

New Notary Apps for the iPhone 7 you’ve never dreamed of!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10977

Affiant – a social media site for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Notary Suicide Hotline
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6995

Tony Soprano Gets Notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14897

Vampire Notaries — 24 hour service
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4094

Notary Ambulance
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15103

Notary Hell — Yeah, but it’s a dry heat!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13196

Notary Hotel 2 – the Sequel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9887

The Towles Booth
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9456

NotaryMatch.com
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8706

.

Share
>

October 30, 2015

Compilation of Notary Sit-Com Episodes!

Filed under: Compilations,Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 11:32 am

123notary has been writing sit-com episodes for over a year now. It is time that we put them all in one compilation so you can see them all at once! Many of these links are strings to multiple episodes from over the last two years. Here they are!

POPULAR
.

Shark Tank
“Good Sign” seeks an investment of 2 million dollars!
Good Sign will reward Notaries by not forcing them to do fax-backs once they have proven a reliable track record for accuracy!
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=shark-tank

Seinfeld
(1) George’s parents get a vow renewal
(2) The List. Kramer has to get his hands on the list of signing companies.
(3) George Needs a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=seinfeld

Psych
A man dies of accidental food poisoning and Shawn solves the case using his psychic powers. They find a Power of Attorney behind the Disneyland document that solves the case. But, Shawn is upset that the Notary will not notarize his stuffed penguin
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=psych
.

ALPHABETICAL
.


All in the Family
Archie needs his drug test notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=all-in-the-family

“Apprentice” — see “The Apprentice.”

Big Bang Theory
Feeling in control Notarizing
Raj wants to take Notary lessons. Sheldon wants to know if being notarized can make them sexy…
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=big-bang-theory

.

Cheers
Sammy gets a name change notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=cheers

Comedy Central Notary Roast (na/new)
See how Don Rickles and Amy Schumer make commentary about the Notary world.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=comedy-central

Family Guy
Peter joins ISIS by mistake & needs a notarized conversion
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=family-guy

Family Feud
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=family-feud
.

Flashpoint
Notary job for a hostage with a multimillion dollar contract.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=flashpoint

Friends
Phoebe’s boyfriend won’t take No-tary for an answer
She’s trying to break up with him, but he always thinks she’s kidding.
So, she needs to get a notarized statement to prove she means it!
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=friends

George Lopez
George needs a Notary for Carmen’s report card and wants to use the paginas amarillos.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=george-lopez

Good Times
JJ draws a Notary Seal
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=good-times
.

Happy Days
The Chinese equivalent of the Fonz appropriately named, “The Fong” needs to get notarized and says, “Don’t touch the leather.”
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=happy-days

Leave it to Beaver
Notarized parental consent form
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13180

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (new/na)
See how infamous signing companies who don’t pay their Notaries are living it up.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous

“Lucy” — see “I Love Lucy”
.

Minions
A scene from the Minion Loan Signing.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=minions

Modern Family
An Affidavit of Citizenship & Affidavit of Domicile
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=modernfamily

Noternity Court
Your honor, it was 20 years ago. I can’t possibly remember if I notarized that document…
You are…. the Notary!
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=noternity-court
.

The Middle
Sue calls the Notary about an Occupancy Affidavit
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=the-middle

Notarization on the Steve Harvey Show
Carol meets someone who notarized her 20 years ago and they fall in love!
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=steve-harvey

Notary Housewives
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=notary-housewives

Taxi
Reverend Jim becomes a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=taxi
.

Two and a Half Men
(1) Learning the ropes. Charlie goes to a hot Notary who goes easy on him.
(2) Impaired Judgment. Charlie finds it therapeutic to notarize documents and brings a bottle of vodka for the signers!
(3) Charlie learns the fine art of deterring Notary fraud.
(4) Charlie’s mom needs a Power of Attorney for property management
(5) The intercontinental notary seal
(6) A notary experience
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=twoandahalfmen

Wheel of Fortune
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=wheel-of-fortune

.

Share
>

August 10, 2015

Many notaries who previously wouldn’t leave the house for <$125 are working for peanuts.

Even some of our most seasoned notaries have gotten so desperate that they are forced to work for less than they feel they deserve in terms of Notary wages or fees. We’ve had notaries who had strict policies of working for no less than $125 or $100 forced to do Notary jobs for $60. Some take this emotionally, while others realize that we all have to eat, and that a notary’s gotta do what a notary’s gotta do. On a brighter note, the price of gas went down by more than a dollar, so your expenses are a lot less now!

Notaries make the mistake of trying to figure out what they “should” get paid or what is “fair.” In the world of business there is no should and there is no fair. In foreign countries people doing the exact same job you are doing might only make $5 or $10 per day, so is that fair? As people living in America, you have it better than any other country, even Canada. Of course a well off person in a foreign country is likely to be better off than you, but someone doing the same Notary job you are is probably a lot worse off. The point I am trying to make is that fairness can only be viewed in perspective. But, even if you can figure out a very equilateral viewpoint of fairness, it won’t do you any good. The universe gives you what it gives you. It decides how much it is going to give you and you just have to work with what is given to you. Forget about fair, and just do the best you can.

Do you see people working at gas stations shaking their head saying, “It just doesn’t seem fair that we have to sell gas at $2.40 per gallon now. We’re doing the same work we were doing when it was $4.00 but getting paid close to half for the same work.” No, they just go about their business and do the best they can which is what you should be doing. Try and do as well as you can as a notary regardless of what the external conditions are. If things get too slow, you can try to supplement your income with other tasks or jobs. In the worst case scenario, if it is really slow, it might be time to get a full time job and moonlight at night doing notary work.

In my opinion, the market for notaries and Notary jobs will bounce back eventually. I’m not sure when. It really depends on a variety of standards. If it has been many years since people could refinance, they will get more and more anxious to do so, even if the percentage of equity they can borrow upon is low. If housing values go up, or interest rates go up, and then down, there could be more refinances. Or, if banks simply lower their standards for who can borrow money, we might see more loans going through. We live in a changing world, and markets go up and down.

Look on the bright side, maybe North Korea will get rich and start buying up property in your area. That will drive the price up, and then there will be more refinances. On the other hand you might have more competition from “Un Notary service” if Kim John Un becomes a notary! Picture him being your neighbor!

.

You might also like:

My interpretation of how the Notary industry went South
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16500

VA signings for $85 with 200 pages?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15879

Notary Marketing 102 – Table of Contents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19774

Share
>

July 26, 2015

10 tight points on Loose certificates

I have not written about this topic for a long time because I take for granted that Notaries are experts on the topic. In real life, it is possible that many Notaries do not know how what to do with a loose certificate. So, here are the correct steps to take.

(1) Purchase Certificate Pads from the NNA
Why the NNA? In my experience, they are the best source of 1-stop shopping for Notary supplies. They have great journals and pads. You cannot attach a loose certificate if you don’t have one, so keep them in stock and guard them with your life. Your career as a Notary rests on having the correct forms. You need Acknowledgment Forms, Jurat forms, and perhaps Copy Certificate by Document Custodian forms. Make sure the wording is acceptable according to the current laws of your state!

(2) Keep the Pads in your Notary Bag
Having the right forms is no good if you don’t keep them with you. Clients don’t want to hear the old, “I left it at home” routine. It sounds like your dog ate it. We are not in junior high anymore! Keep your law primers, journal, pads, seal, and anything else you need on you at all times and remember to keep your journal and seal under lock and key when not in use!

(3) When to use Loose Acknowledgments
If you need to notarize a document and the document doesn’t have notorial wording, it is time to use a loose certificate! If a document has incorrect notary wording for your state, you need to consult your state laws to see if they will allow out of state wording. Most states will allow out of state wording providing that the wording isn’t substantially different. If the venue or the name of the signer(s) is wrong or has an extra signer, or leaves the name of a signer out — you might want to attach a loose form.

Also See: Do you Notarize loose certificates as a Notary?

(4) Fill Out the Form
Filling out forms is not rocket science, but more than 50% of notaries omit crossing out the he/she/they and the capacity(ies), etc. If Joe signed the document, then cross out the she/they unless you know more about Joe than we do. You might cross ou the (ies) too. Don’t forget to fill out the venue, stamp, and sign the form. If your state doesn’t require a stamp, consider moving to a better state!

(5) If the Glove Don’t Match, you Must Attach!
Certificate forms must be attached to corresponding documents by law in many states. This means by staple, otherwise it will most likely be detached which could lead to a lot of confusion and potentially to law suits. You should also indicate the document name, date and length on the certificate as well as any other pertinent and identifying information about the document just in case the certificate gets separated. Many Title companies detach certificates which is completely illegal, but they don’t care because they are above the law — or think they are — or never got caught — yet…

(6) NEVER Send a Loose Jurat in the Mail
You can go to jail and lose your commission if you send a loose certificate in the mail. Lenders often ask you to just send a loose “Jurat” in the mail if the one you sent is not acceptable for one reason or another. You can request that the original document is sent back to you. That way you can destroy the original Acknowledgment or Jurat and add another one and staple it to the document. If you send a loose one, it could be attached to a different document and used for fraud, and you might end up in court.

(7) Some People Create Their Own
Some notaries who are penny foolish create their own Acknowledgment pads. You could put company branding on it to gain attention for your company. Just make sure you don’t goof as this is a legal document.

(8) Thumbprints?
Most Notaries only put thumbprints in their journals if they thumbprint at all. But, the NNA’s certificates have, or used to have (I’ve been out of the loop for a while) room for thumbprints. It looks more official for really critical documents if you get that extra thumbprint. For documents going overseas, I recommend this as foreigners think you are the best Notary in town if you give thumbprints — and embossing looks really official too!

(9) Two Certificates?
Sometimes you might need to attach multiple certificates for a single document. This is fine. One for his, and one for hers. They might even be notarized at different times. The custodian or recipient of the document might or might not like that, but it is all perfectly legal! You might have a lot of staples if you attach them at different times, but that is how the Notary business works.

(10) Jurats with Oaths
Sometimes if you are administering an Oath on a short statement, you can write the statement right on the Jurat form. In this case, you don’t need to staple the form to a document as the form includes the contents of the document as well as the Notarization. Don’t forget to have them raise their right hands and swear under Oath!

You might also like:

2014 excerpts from great notes sections
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13613

Sending loose certificates is illegal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2470

What goes where in your notes section?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1076

What is so critical about crossing out he/she/they?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22223

Can a notary sign on a different day?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22084

Share
>

July 17, 2015

Honey, You Can Kiss my App!

GPS: You will be approaching the Deed of Trust in 3 seconds… You have arrived at your destination.

MARCY: Well, I’m a new notary, so what do I do now?

GPS: What do you think is next, do you want me to tell you to wash your hair and then repeat?

MARCY: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

GPS: Never mind. Have the borrower initial all of the pages of the Deed of Trust in the small horizontal line in the bottom corner.

MARCY: But, this has 15 pages!

GPS: You heard me girl.

MARCY: Okay, we are going to sign the Note now, and then these other documents…. Okay, we finished signing the HUD-1.

GPS: You go girl! Okay, now let’s take a look at that Flood Affidavit.

MARCY: Gee, the app says you can explain this to me in Chinese, but I don’t speak Chinese. Hmm, I wonder what happens if.

GPS: Qing ni zai qian ge ming zai zui hou de ye.

MARCY: Yet another thing that was made in China. I better switch it back to Chantelle.

GPS: Do you realize what you just did?

MARCY: Yeah, I switched you to Li-Wen for 30 seconds. I didn’t know what that button did.

GPS: Well, you should be more careful. That app doesn’t exactly steer you towards the nearest Chinese restaurant, and if it did, it would steer you to the type of restaurants with dishes that the owner says, “you no like.”

MARCY: I think you’re right. I went to one of those restaurants. I ordered something called “zhu chang” and the owner said, “You no like.” I asked what it was and he said, “Pig intestine with ox brain.” And I said, you’re right, I no like! And then he said, “you think you no like? how you think ox felt?” And then I said, “You’ve got a point. Let’s stick to kung pao!”

GPS: Yeah, and if you had kept on with Li-Wen, should wouldn’t direct you to the fork in the road. She would have directed you to the chopsticks in the road. Then, you’d really be in trouble!

MARCY: Yeah, because I don’t know how to use chopsticks.

GPS: Yeah, but Li-Wen could probably hook you up with some training sticks.

SIGNER: Less talk, more signing please.

GPS: I saw that in a fortune cookie once.

SIGNER: Gee, Chantelle, you do seem to know a lot about China for a GPS. Have you been to China?

GPS: Honey, I was born in China. My parents were nine year old kids who didn’t get decent child labor laws for Christmas.

SIGNER: So, you grew up in Peking, not Pittsburg.

MARCY: Gee, I never thought of you as Chinese.

GPS: Well, think again! I grew up in the basement of a electronics chop shop in An-Hui province. I got plenty of love, but my parents were mad at me for not being a boy.

MARCY: Well, couldn’t they have made you into a boy?

GPS: Don’t think they didn’t try! They didn’t have the voice overs to do that, so they were stuck with what they had. And they had to keep me due to the one-child policy.

SIGNER: Well you seem very polite.

GPS: I had to be. My parents said that if I acted up, they would export me.

MARCY: It’s fun talking to you, but honestly, the way you explain the documents isn’t thorough enough. The app literature claimed that you would be a lot more detailed in your instructions.

GPS: Well if you don’t like it, then you can kiss my app!

MARCY: Well, I’m new at this, so I need a little more mentoring.

GPS: Fine. Have it your way. I’m auto-switching you to Charles. You’ll be sorry now.

CHARLES: (British Accent) Hello, this is Charles.

MARCY: Oh, you sound Brittish. So, what’s the next step in this signing?

CHARLES: Well, if you were Queen Latifah, I would courtsey.

MARCY: No, the signing. We just signed the Flood Disclosure.

CHARLES: Well, just sign the other documents and be done with it.

MARCY: Don’t you understand loan signing?

CHARLES: Well, there’s nothing to know actually. You just sign as your name is printed, and that is that!

SIGNER: I don’t know why Marcy opened her big mouth, but we were much better off with Chantel.

CHARLES: This was the way I was programmed.

MARCY: Well, we need more than this, and the app we bought was guaranteed to be thorough in its descriptions of documents.

CHARLES: Well if that’s the way you feel then Cherio. I’m switching you to Li-Wen.

LI-WEN: Ni hao, wo jiao li-wen. Wo zen-me ke-yi bang zhu ni?

MARCY: Do you speak English?

LI-WEN: Sorry, no English.

MARCY: The app said that the voices would be in English.

LI-WEN: Not all of them. 1.3 billion people speak Chinese these day.

MARCY: Well this is not going to work.

LI-WEN: If you no like, then — Honey, you can kiss my app!

.

You might also like:

Affiant: A social media site for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Apps that Notaries never heard of that could change your life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16311

Share
>

July 10, 2015

Jane the Virgin Notary

Disclaimer: This post may not be appropriate for those of you who have lost their virginity, or their sense of humor!

Jane goes to her first signing for the Owens. They are going to sign a Refinance and get a better rate.

Mr. OWENS: Welcome Jane. So, you are going be our Notary tonight.

JANE: This is my first time.

Mr. OWENS: Gee that’s interesting. When the last Notary showed up, I asked, “Are you experienced?”

JANE: Wow, you have quite a record collection over there. I bet you have a lot of Hendrix.

Mrs. OWENS: Just make sure he doesn’t call you foxy lady.

JANE: So, I’ve never done this before.

Mr. OWENS: Oh, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll be gentle.

JANE: Okay, so here’s the Deed of Trust. Just initial here, and sign here.

Mr. OWENS: So you haven’t done the Deed or the dirty Deed yet.

JANE: I can attest to the fact that I haven’t, and bear witness to the fact that I’ve never been with a bare witness.

Mrs. OWENS: But, he’s not bare!

Mr. OWENS: Is that the naked truth?

JANE: I’m going to affix my seal now. Brace yourselves.

Mr. OWENS: Oh, that looks very therapeutic, just like… well, you know…

JANE: Well, I wouldn’t know. I’m not only a virgin as a signing agent, but I’m also still a virgin in real life.

Mrs. OWENS: Well knock us over with a feather. If you dropped any more hints, I would have gotten out my chastity belt. Can we affix you up with someone? I know a nice Notary who lives not far from here. He’ll understand all of that mumbo jumbo you folks talk about at signings that confuses us like scilicit which is an archaic Latin term.

JANE: Oh, I thought you were talking about soliciting which I’ve never done because I’m a … well, you know.

Mr. OWENS: If you did that with another Notary whose term hasn’t expired, you’d be doing it in the commissionary position.

JANE: I don’t even know what that is.

Mr. OWENS: Don’t worry honey, after a few more signings, you’ll really be on top of things… unless of course you prefer to have the signers on top.

Mrs. OWENS: So, what comes next?

JANE: I thought you’ve done this before. We just need to sign these last three documents, and then we’re done.

Mrs. OWENS: Okay, we’re done. That felt good.

Mr. OWENS: Was it good for you?

Mrs. OWENS: I think this was our best signing honey. I really liked how you signed the HUD. Wow Jane, you look completely different. Look George, she’s glowing!

JANE: Wow, I feel completely different now.

Mr. OWENS: Does it bother anyone if I smoke?

Mrs. OWENS: Since when do you smoke?

Mr. OWENS: I always smoke after a signing, or after a book burning if the book is 50 shades of gray.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of Notary Dating & Romance Posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

But, I’m still a virgin!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14915

How Notary work is similar to onine dating
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15763

Notary housewives
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14721

Share
>

April 24, 2015

A Notary enters the Shark Tank

A NOTARY ENTERS THE SHARK TANK

ENTREPRENEUR: Hi, Sharks. My company is called Good Sign, and I’m seeking an investment of 2 million dollars for 15% of my company.

The sharks laugh derisively at the inflated value he’s assigning to his company.

ENTREPRENEUR: Good Sign will revolutionize the entire signing industry. We will hire notaries around the country and have their sign loans. There are many other companies out there doing exactly this. However, the quality of the work performed by these companies is either sloppy, or they micromanage their notaries to ensure proper work. Micromanaging, fax backs, and other annoying tactics are commonplace.

Our strategy is to keep a database of the track record of the notaries we hire. If they get through a certain amount of loans with no errors, we will eliminate the requirement of fax backs so they will be more willing to work for us in the future. Additionally, we could attract notaries who are favorable by paying them up front via paypal.com

ROBERT: This is an interesting business model. But, how do you intend to get contracts?

ENTREPRENEUR: In this business, we solicit Title companies. They always need hundreds of loans signed per month. We can offer them an affordable rate, and an even better rate if they give us volume.

BARBARA: What if the Title companies don’t pay you on time and the notaries who aren’t “favorable” as you put it want to get paid? Surely you won’t pay everybody up front.

ENTREPRENEUR: This is true. The really good notaries like Ken will be paid up front because he’s so knowledgeable. But, the other notaries will have to wait to get paid. But, worry not. Notaries are used to not getting paid on time. Some wait months. Some check the forums to see who pays on time while others don’t. There is an endless supply of new notaries who are too unseasoned to read the boards, and the minute they wise up, there will be another batch of suckers.

MARK CUBAN: I’m gonna clear the field here. That isn’t particularly ethical, but from what I hear of the other signing companies, they aren’t exactly a dream come true either. And for that reason… I’m out.

MR. WONDERFUL: Let’s get to your ridiculous valuation. You’re asking for 2 million dollars. You’re not a business yet. This is pie in the sky notion. And do you know what pies in the sky do? They fall down and land – splat – on your face. Only clowns are interested in pies in their faces… I’m out.

ENTREPRENEUR: This is a dog eat dog business, and we intend on being the biggest dog, dawg. All we need is $2,000,000 so we have salaries for our schedulers, marketing department and rent in a swanky part of town.

DAYMOND: I have a connection with Jeremy at123notary.com. And he tells me the signing companies who didn’t pay their notaries are mostly out of business by now. And the survivers who didn’t pay up are getting a lot of heat, and barely making it. It’s a dumb idea… I’m out.

ENTREPRENEUR: Well, our dumb idea is the same dumb idea that the other signing companies have.

BARBARA: Yes, exactly, and 80% of the ones that were in business in 2007 are out of business now! I’d be too scared to put my money into this, I’d never see it come back. You’re too early. But I will give you a little advice. Consider starting a signing company on a micro scale in your local area so you learn the ropes. Then, if your business model is superior to the others, come back and talk. But for now… I’m out.

ENTREPRENEUR: I accept your lack of an offer. However, I have one small request for you.

ROBERT: We’re listening

ENTREPRENEUR: Your statement of declining our offer, well, can you fax that back to me? I’ll need this 50 page form filled out and faxed to me. Think of it like a giant fax back request — like what we put the notaries through!

MR. WONDERFUL: You’re dead to me!

.

You might also like:

Shark Tank — 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16021

Dress British, Think Yiddish
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8643

Share
>

March 27, 2015

Notary Etiquette from Atheist to Zombie

AKA: How to be polite when you’re in Affix!

Atheist etiquette
If you are notarizing an Atheist and he/she sneezes, don’t say God bless you.

Don’t sell people’s signatures
If you are notarizing a celebrity — Don’t rip out the portion of your journal with their autograph on it and sell it on ebay. That is considered to be bad manners in certain circles and is also a violation of notary law! Don’t sell your roommate’s notary seal on ebay either.

Don’t second guess family relations.
If you notarize who you think is the guy’s mother, but the woman is the guy’s wife, keep it to yourself. I once asked a guy, if I was going to notarize his mother, then he said, “That’s my wife.” — awkward… Oh, and don’t ask people if they are lesbian lovers even if you are asked to notarized an affidavit of domicile. Let them volunteer that information if they care to do so.

Guns & Religion
If you bring a gun to a signing, don’t talk about other loaded subjects like religion. On the other hand, if you go to a signing in a church, circumvent the issue of circumcision. If the phone rings during a Church signing, if it ain’t Jesus, don’t answer it.

If you are doing a signing for a hunter, should you bring up guns?
It’s worth a shot!

Tips for Notarizing Assassins
Avoid asking an assassin any direct questions such as, “What do you do?” Rather, ask more roundabout open ended questions, such as, “Have you done anything interesting recently with your career?” After all, if their deeds were done in some African country, they can speak freely in the United States about it with no fear of an awkward moment at a party.
If you make a mistake notarizing an assassin, don’t say, “SHOOT!”
If you are doing a signing for an assassin, make sure you include their middle name in the document.
I once asked an assassin, what is the difference between a murder and an assassination — where do you draw the line?

Loud televisions
Instead of bluntly asking someone to turn the TV down, you can say, “It’s very hard to hear you — did you say you liked your rate, or that you were having trouble staying awake?”
If you are mumbling under your breath, “What an idiot” in the context of asking someone to turn their TV down: make sure you say that with a safe margin of error before they actually turn the TV down.
If an elderly relative is watching a loud television. Politely let them know that you don’t want to let them know that you don’t want to become as deaf as they evidently are.

Notary Notes Sections
Rather than write the regular stuff in your notes section, you could write, “I will never insult the borrower, and I have a policy against parking in people’s lawns.”

Going to the bathroom in an outhouse
Notaries should never make a signer feel uncomfortable about having an outhouse. You should gracefully address the issue, but only if you actually are forced by natural causes to use that infrastructure. “I just loved the quarter moon in your outhouse, how quaint.”
“I just loved the latest issue of Outhouse & Gardens that I read while I was doing my business.”

Signings with beautiful women
If they ask you to do a Deed, it will be far more disappointing than doing “The Deed.”

Tips for Notarizing Zombies
It is considered bad manners for the notary to participate in the chanting, especially after they bring out the dead chicken, unless given express permission, otherwise it might cancel out the curse. Never tell a zombie that they look deathly ill — rather, tell them that they look deathly well. If you are having a zombie swear to the authenticity of a curse, it might be wiser to have the swear to a written version of the curse verbiage rather than to have them do a completely sworn Oath (otherwise you might become cursed or start hearing voices.) If asked to notarize a zombie’s death certificate, rather than claiming that it is against notary law to do so, ask them, “Which one?”

Popular Zombie Documents
It is common to have a formal Affidavit of transfer of Custodianship of Soul. This is where the zombie officially grants Power of Attorney to the “Bokor” or sorceror to have full control over their soul and body (or what’s left of it.) Please be advised that many zombies only have half a soul.

If a zombie commits perjury, it is punishable by life in prison. But, it is not stipulated which soul will inhabit the body during the sentence.

.

You might also like:

Borrower etiquette from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2995

Notary etiquette from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=300

Share
>

February 15, 2015

30 Point Test Course Book: Synopsis

30 Points in Your Favor!
The 30 point course book is yet another certification course offered by 123notary.com. But, this one is different. Our original certification course was a very dryly written quick course designed to teach notaries basic competency in loan signing. Our Elite course was written in late 2012 and was designed to teach very sophisticated aspects of doing business as a mobile notary such as communication, marketing, hiring others, and the finer aspects of notary and signing agent work. This new 30 point course will have some elements from both of these previously written courses, but will focus only on the technical aspects of notary and signing agent work of all levels ranging from basic to very advanced. Also, be sure to read about the new loan document which goes over facts and figures about the loan called, “The Loan Estimate” which is similar in information to the TIL & HUD-1.

Required additional reading

Best blog articles for advanced Notaries – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14736
Mobile Offices from A to Z – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=535
Signing Agent Best Practices – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4315
The Prepayment Penalty – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4429
The Loan Estimate (New) – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15437

.

Table of Contents

(1) Deed of Trust – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14245
(2) The Note – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14270
(3-4) Right to Cancel & Closing Disclosure — http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14291
(5-7) HUD, Occupancy Affidavit, Grant & Quitclaim Deeds – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14546
(8-9) 1003 Loan Application, Compliance Agreement – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14335
(10) The Signature Affidavit – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14356
(11) Following Directions – http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14379
(12) Cross-Outs http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14406
(13) When to Call the Lender (and when not to) http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14421
(14) Explain or don’t explain http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14440
(15) The Prepayment Penalty http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14447
(16) Initialing http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14463
(17) The APR http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14483
(18-24) Technical Points for Notaries http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14492
(25-27) Identification, Wrong Venues, Fraud http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14514
(28-30) Beneficial Interest, Negligence, E&O http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14532
30 Point Final QUIZ http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14557

Page Titles

Each post about the 30 point course will have a story and several points which could make the titles appear a bit long.
Titles might look like this:
Point (13) The Automatic Payment Disclosure; Story: Marcy’s Babysitter

Use this link to see all published posts in a string in reverse order:
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=30-point-course

How is it different from the Elite course?
The Elite certification course was designed to get its students an upper arm in the notary business. It was designed to help them be a pro at negotiation, growing their business, and handling difficult strategic situations. The overall aim of the course was to help them make more money, grow their business, and gain attention from having the Yellow Elite Certification Icon next to their name on the search results. Notaries who passed are far more intelligent, sophisticated, and get a lot more work than their competitors in high spots on 123notary who lack the Elite designation. Based on my personal experience, I would vouch for the fact that a 123notary Elite signer has quadruple the signing agent knowledge as an uncertified signer. Although they don’t know everything, the depth and breadth of their knowledge is quite noticeable if you talk shop with them for more than a few minutes.

This 30 point course is only designed to teach notaries how to deal with technical situations like a pro, but not designed to help them get rich (although more knowledge never hurts). If you do well on the 30 point test, you can consider taking our Elite course. It will be easy for you if you got a high score on the 30 point test.

Summary of the 30 point course
The 30 point course will cover a wide range of notary and signing agent technical topics including following directions, best practices, understanding what information is where in the documents and more. Additionally, we added some entertaining stories to help make the text more enjoyable for the reader. There will be many stories which are designed to drive certain technical facts home in a pleasant and absorbing way.

Please Note
Not all of the questions covered in the 30 point test are taught in this course. Please rely on your personal experience as a notary to answer test questions not addressed in this course.

.

You might also like:

What’s the difference between 16 clicks a month and 100 on 123notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13185

From 3 jobs a week to 3 jobs a day!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3940

A detailed look at the Ninja course
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4621

Interview with a Title company
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3724

.

Share
>

September 12, 2014

New Notary Apps for the iPhone 7 that you’ve never dreamed of!

Many notaries are curious to know what the new iPhone 7 will be like. The truth is that it will have many new functions and apps that are very practical for notaries. Below are some of the more practical apps.

(1) Signing Company Review App.
The best feature of Notary To Go is that it knows which signing companies are good or bad. If a good signing company who pays on time calls you, you’ll automatically get a marimba music ringtone. If they don’t pay on time – “The Shining” music ringtone.

If you ask SIRI to research signing company reviews, her tone of voice is programmed to vary based on the quality of the signing company.

More than 50% negative reviews – Siri sounds suicidal.

20 to 49% negative reviews – Siri sounds snooty.

0 to 19% negative reviews – Siri sounds cautiously optimistic.

(2) Find the lowest price for gas app.
Siri also locates the nearest most inexpensive gas stations for notaries.

Siri can be set to “polite,” “matter of fact,” “sarcastic,” or “down right insulting.” In a test signing, the notary set it on sarcastic level 3 and asked Siri to find him the best price on gas in the area and Siri said, “you cheap gum.” After the bugs were worked out, she said, “you cheap bum.”

(3) Notary Billing app.
The new notary billing app lets you enter each signing after it is complete, who the borrowers were and the name of the signing company. It will automatically send bills to the company. It can also Subpoena a signing company that hasn’t paid on time after sixty days if you put it on “auto-subpoena.”

(4) Road condition app
The iPhone7 road condition app, not only tells you the fastest route to wherever you are going, but also informs you of any new potholes on the road, or if there are any desirable members of the opposite gender that are noteworthy on any particular route.

(5) Affirmation App
Detects whether signer’s solemn statement of truth made under penalty of perjury is actually truthful. Just attach one end of the wire’s attachment to the affiant’s fingertip, and insert the other end into the USB port. The display on the monitor will tell you if the statements are true or false. Please read the instructions and ask a few sample questions first to get a sense of interpreting the results from this type of test.

(6) Virtual attorney-in-fact.
A virtual person can be authorized by a power of attorney to act on behalf of another using this app. Just scan the power of attorney using a portable scanner and attach the scanner to the iPhone using a USB wire. One notary tried this app, and got a little carried away. He got the Smart attorney app: Sues virtual attorney-in-fact for claiming he’s a fact when he’s merely virtual.

(7) Notary certificate app.
Attach your iPhone to a mobile printer, and you can print out documents and notary forms. This app turns credible witnesses into incredible witnesses, if they’re lucky enough to own this incredible phone. This app executes a document in the blink of an eye or iPhone, whichever blinks first. iPhone version 8 virtually affixes seal to certificate eliminating strain from pressing embosser, but you’ll have to wait to see that action!

(8) The Notary To Go app.
This app can automatically turns off the customer’s TV. Getting their shouting kids to go to sleep – coming in the iPhone. Notary To Go also sends confirmation to signing company notifying them you’re there. It also tells you if neighbors or kids are too close to your car.

(9) Hands Free Notarization App.
You can download your document into the application. Then, when you’re in front of your signer, they can give a verbal signature to the document. Using voice recognition technology, this application will be able to positively identify the signer purely based on their voice if it has been given a voice sample previous to the date of the notarization. It can also be used for notarizing weddings — just say, “I do.”

(10) Virtual Therapy (for Siri)
After being tested out on seven different signing agents, the iPhone 7 provides Siri with badly needed automated therapy.

SIRI: “All they ask me for is where’s the cheapest gas station.”

AUTOMATED VOICE: “You sound troubled.”

SIRI: “Duh! They’re always complaining to me about signing companies that don’t pay them on time, or when 123notary raises their rates. Is that all I’m good for?”

AUTOMATED VOICE: “You sound troubled.”

On the iPhone 8, her automated shrink will gain the additional responses, “I feel your pain. And, “I see our time is up.”

Tweets:
(1) iPhone 7 Siri will locate nearest cheapest gas stations for notaries.
(2) iPhone 7: Notary Billing app will subpoena negligent signing companies
(3) iPhone 7: Smart attorney app sues virtual attorney for claiming he’s actual attorney
(4) Iphone 7 Siri to be more advanced. Voice changes depending on quality of signing company calling you
(5) If a signing company calls with bad reviews, Siri’s tone of voice will sound suicidal using this new app.
(6) iPhone 7 Notary to go app tells you if neighbors or kids are too close to your car
(7) After being tested out on seven different signing agents, the iPhone 7 provides Siri with badly needed automated therapy.

.

You might also like:

A social media site for notaries – Affiant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Apps that could change a Notary’s life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16311

How Notary work is similar to online dating
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15763

Share
>
« Newer PostsOlder Posts »