I have been watching Tiffany Haddish a lot on youtube. I would say she is one of the most joy inspiring and entertaining people I have ever seen. She is an accomplished comedian and actress. But, she had a rough childhood in the foster home system when her mom got locked up. Unfortunately, Tiffany claims that she had to stay in a bunk bed during her childhood in the foster care system and was physically abused by one of the other kids. From that day on, she has dreaded bunk beds. So, below is the story.
ALIEN: Hi Tiffany
TIFFANY: Oh, are you going to abduct me?
ALIEN: No, but can you like us on Facebook?
TIFFANY: That’s funny. Regular Facebook or intergalactic Facebook? I got both baby!
ALIEN: Just kidding, we are going to require your presence on our space ship.
TIFFANY: Oooh, let me get my things. This is exciting. I’ve never been abducted before. Oh, how long will this take?
ALIEN: About five days, but on earth time, you will return in about ten seconds.
TIFFANY: Confusing. Hold on…. (ten minutes later) WE READY!!! Where’s the entrance at. Oh, here it is.
(So, Tiffany and the Alien get aboard the craft.)
SNORKON: Hey Tiffany, we have been waiting for you. We’re just wondering if earth humor is the same as intergallactic humor.
TIFFANY: It might be. But, I have more pressing concerns.
ALIEN: Such as what?
TIFFANY: I wanna know how aliens dance!
SNORKON: We dance like this (fast outer-space type digital music plays while Snorkon does the “beep-beep” dance spastically jumping up and down.)
TIFFANY: Interesting. I saw something like that at the last Bar-Mitzvah I was at. You have to be 13 earth years old to have one of those.
SNORKON: By the way Tiff-Tiff, we have an expression on our planet. Once you’ve had green, you’ll know what I mean.
TIFFANY: You tryin’ to act black now?
SNORKON: Baby I don’t have to try. It comes naturally to me.
TIFFANY: I guess so. So, what’s next? Are we going to do some experiments, DNA samples> I’m down with that! Are you going to use my DNA to clone it with some of your DNA and create a hybrid creature that can be the best pilot in the galaxy and also get a few laughs while doing that?
SNORKON: We’ll let you know tomorrow. It is time for sleep in our planet. You will be sleeping in the green room here.
TIFFANY: On a bunk bed? Oh no, I don’t do bunk beds. Oh no, earth is down there 4000 miles away already. Help!!!!
(After that, Tiffany plasters herself against the window with her face and arms pressed against it looking at planet earth in the distance screaming — help!!!!!)