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January 29, 2020

Do everything yet have nothing to talk about?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:31 am

I have notice two definitive types of people.

1. Those who do everything yet have nothing to talk about.
2. Those who do nothing yet have everything to talk about.

Some people who rarely leave the house and never leave town have
endless interesting conversation to make. While others who have been
to many different countries and have done many interesting activities,
tried hundreds of foods – cannot describe their activities and don’t
even tried.

I am baffled and flabbergasted that people can be so different. And
then there are people like Anthony Bourdain who went everywhere, did
everything and could describe it all artistically with poetic nuances.
Why did he have to commit suicide — he was my favorite guy!

Unfortunately for me, I want our notaries to tell me fun stories that
I can publish to make the blog more interesting. Many of you have done
thousands of signings, but do you have hundreds of stories? If you
have juicy ones, tell us!


January 27, 2020

Are you a phone person or an in person person

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:10 am

Boy this is confusing. You could be a people person, a numbers person,
or even a cat person. But, what if you are a cat who likes people,
then what would you be — a people cat? If a car is bad it is a
lemon; But, what is a lemon if it is bad? Would it be a car, or a
really really bad car?

Some people interact really well over the phone, but are terrible in
person. Or perhaps they just don’t like seeing people in person. Some
people just like interacting through texting or Facebook. I have a
word for those people – millennials.

As a Notary, you need to be good by phone and in person. But, can you
handle both? The skills are a little different. Over the phone, you
need to make sure you answer nicely, have good reception, don’t have
background noise, answer questions the way they were asked, etc. If
you answer at a signing, don’t answer only to tell them you can’t talk
— that is rude and defeats the point of answering in the first place.
But, if you are in person, posture, eye contact and gestures really
matter. Yes, it is a different art altogether. So, once again, another
thing to ponder about. Food for thought!


January 26, 2020

Tired of being the bigger man?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:03 am

This sounds like a Seinfeld topic. Are you tired of always being the
bigger man and giving into others. Apologizing when you did nothing
wrong. Being flexible when others are jerking you around? When do you
draw the line and stop being the bigger man? Or do you just go on a
diet so you will no longer be bigger?

Why do I always have to be the bigger man? Why can’t someone else for
a change? Why do I have to call someone back when it is convenient
for them? What about what is convenient for me? I’m tired of being the
bigger man. From now on, it’s all about me.

But, as a Notary, you have to accommodate difficult clients. Unless
you have so many clients you can pick and choose, you have to be the
bigger man. Once you have more people who want you than there is hours
free in your schedule, then they have to be the bigger man or get cut.
I guess in the notary business it is just a question of supply and


January 25, 2020

Are you a go-getter or a stop-giver?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:56 am

Are you a go-getter, a stop-giver, or a stop-loser non-getter?

Go-getters go and get. Stop givers stop but, don’t give to others. I’m
not sure what a stop-loser is but I think they stop and lose things.
You have to give to get, so a go-getter is also a go-giver. Boy, this
is confusing and also deeply karmic. I’ll have to call my broker about
karmic debt refinancing and get a HELOC.

To merit good pay as a signing agent, focus on giving the best and
smoothest most knowledgeable service. Claiming to be knowledgeable and
being able to pass complicated tests and explain difficult concepts
are different things so be the real thing and then you can be a


January 23, 2020

She was my student, but now she is hustling and succeeding

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:40 am

It is always nice to hear stories like this from your former students.
As you may or may not know, the mobile notary business is filled with
women. Notaries in general are disproportionately women (roughly 84%)
and mobile notaries are more like 60% women. I recently had a
conversation with a lady who studied from my materials, mastered them
scored well on my quiz, and is getting tons of work. For a beginner,
she is really hustling and getting a lot more work than other
beginners normally work.

But, this woman has a personality that lends itself (sorry for the
mortgage related pun) to success in the mobile notary business. She
reads and reads and reads. She wants to know what is going on, what
the rules are, what proper techniques are, etc. She wants to do
everything correctly. Not everything she does is right, so I have to
correct her every once in a while. There is a lot to know as a mobile
notary, so it is good to correspond regularly with those who know the

Carmen also started out as my student back in 2003. She always had
questions. I remember the first time I met her. I was handing over a
book to her in person near the guard shack in my complex. Carmen had a
thirst for knowledge. Now, Carmen is someone I refer to as the queen
of the industry because nobody can answer questions better than she
does. I guess there is now more realism to the saying, “Grasshopper,
you were once the student, but now you are the master. Can catch fly
with chopsticks, can do anything.” I guess when you hear that quote,
the image comes to mind of Carmen quietly meditating while facing a
statue of the Buddha with a samurai sword laid out in front of her
wearing either a kimono or a ninja outfit. I have been urging Carmen
to meditate for years to deal with the stress of constant whining on
the part of Notaries. Maybe this mental image will prove to be useful.

There are other examples of people I have instructed who became wildly
successful. It is fun to think about them when people call me whining
about some petty concern. It is nice to know your work paid off in a
meaningful way to someone.


January 20, 2020

Q&A about R&B

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:38 am

What if musicians from the 80’s became Notaries and wrote a book with
FAQ’s. They might have a section called Q & A about R & B.

On the other hand the currency in China is called Ren-Min-Bi, but when
said quickly in abbreviated form sounds like RNB. Hmmm.


January 11, 2020

Jeremy lowered his triglycerides to 161, but how?

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 9:28 am

I just went to the doctor. I am proud to say that my triglycerides are
the lowest they have been in my life. They peaked at 333 many years
ago. I have been keeping them below 200 for a few years. But, on my
last visit they were only 161. How is this possible you ask? I lost 16
pounds between doctor visits by doing lots of lots of long walks. I
walked for three miles a day for a year, and then stepped it up to
eight miles a day average for a few months. Walking is a great way to
lose weight and is very healthy, but takes a long time. Losing weight
helps with controlling triglycerides.

However, the other huge contributing factor to my “tri” loss was
salmon. Sure, wild salmon is better, but it also costs $25 a pound and
I cannot spend money that way. So, I get the sustainable farmed
Atlantic salmon from Whole Foods. They cook it for me. The high
Omega-3 content drives good cholesterol up which helps to reduce bad
cholesterol, and in addition helps to get your triglycerides down low
too. I was having three filet servings (roughly 4 ounces each) a week
for half a year, and having some salmon before that. I went 18 months
between doctor visits, so a lot happened in that time.

Salmon tastes good and has many health benefits. It is high in
protein, low in cholesterol, high in Omega 3, has vitamin D (hard to
get in regular food), B12, and a lot of other vitamins. Tank farmed
salmon is toxic, but net farmed ocean salmon is somewhat healthy. Wild
is the best though because it can swim more freely and eat natural
food sources.


January 9, 2020

People impostering 123notary. What can I do?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:24 am

There are a few people pretending to be 123notary. Sometimes they try
to sell you something or get information. When I call notaries after
they have been bothered by imposters, they don’t want to give me
information because they are afraid I will ask for money too. Since
when am I responsible for what some strangers do, and what can I
possible do to stop these rascals? I inform them that I never asked
for money and that it was you.. the notary who brought the issue of
money up, not me. But, some Notaries just like to be difficult and I
end up removing them for being jerks.

Even if some rascals bother you, you still have to be nice when
legitimate calls come in or you get into trouble and lose your free
listing, not that you care. But, some free listings generate a lot of
business so you should care.

If you are in doubt as to the legitimacy of a potential scam caller,
email us at to see if the person is legit. We
sometimes hire girls to do calls for us. However, we do not have new
girls ask for money. If we have Wendy or Adine call you, they will
refer you to Carmen (who you all know or at least should know) to
process the transaction as a general rule.

Verify sources and don’t give money to strangers. Check people out if
you don’t know them.


November 6, 2019

Three days to live, what would you do?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:38 pm

If you had three days to live, would you do crazy things? Personally, I would do a lot of meditation. I would ponder the nature of the universe. I would also question whether I really had three days to live, and if that was calculated in New York minutes.

But, don’t do anything that is bad karma otherwise that will carry through in its effect to a future life.

One Notary was talking to me on a bad connection about the last few days of his life. But, I didn’t understand him due to the connection.

NOTARY: If I had a wild party my last day, would that be bad karma?

JEREMY: Yes, if you have a question, call Carmen.

NOTARY: No, that is not what I said.

JEREMY: She’s available every day.

NOTARY: Not Carmen, karma.

JEREMY: Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Good!


I would probably go up the hill and meditate in the ashram as well. And then I would call Carmen about that refund I owe someone for a redundant purchase. She would probably advise me to see if the world really does end and then decide what to do. That is called common sense.

You might also like:

If the world ends, do I get a refund?

Murder in a building a week before the signing


October 31, 2019

The signing with the danish pastries

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:51 pm

A Notary who commented on our blog had a nice story to tell.

He went to a signing. The wife came out with a plate of heavenly Danish pastries that were out of this world. She brought freshly brewed coffee as well. Then after the signing, it was a bit icy, so the husband accompanied the Notary to his car. Such hospitality. These little things mean a lot to Notaries.

It reminds me of my trip to Denmark where the gas station had an elaborate display of many varietals of Danish pastries, and the Police Office (where I reported one of their many heroin addicts) was filled with elegant Swedish style furniture. When you travel, you see the world in a new way. Why can’t we be more like Denmark and have heroin addicts roaming the streets with their needles? If only we lived in a fair world.

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