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March 13, 2019

Testimonial about 123notary from Colleen Nugent

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:33 am

Thank you Jeremy! your work is so helpful!
very glad to have your info in my inbox.
Keep up the good work!
thanks again,
Colleen Nugent

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March 12, 2019

Tips for people in Native American reservations to prosper

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:21 am

Whenever I visit Native American reservations, I notice that things are kind of slow. I am uneducated about the legal restrictions of doing business on the rez, so maybe things are harder than I think. But, here are my ideas. Basically, it is hard to make money when you are physically distant from wealth and far from a bustling economy. The reservations are normally very far from the rest of society.

Philosophy of land is cultural
BTW, one of the issues with reservations is that — since it is “free” land with no taxes or purchasing fees associated with it, the land tends to be devoid of any value. In modern society it is better to purchase land in small amounts that you intend to milk for all its worth rather than having endless hectares of worthless abandoned land. On the one hand it is not fair how our government helped itself to tribal people’s land. On the other hand it is not fair that I have to pay land tax as a person of European origin while native people get free land that is tax free. On the third hand the free land is not useful land anyway, so they are not getting much.

Traditional native people have a philosophy of land where land is something they just intrinsically own simply because they were there for a long time, while it is not a piece of property they wish to develop in any particular way. They like to let the land sit and breathe. Western people traditionally have had to pay for land or inherit it and realize that it is a commodity in short supply to be optimized as much as possible. The roots of the native philosophy evolved from the fact that land traditionally was so plentiful since the population was so sparse — and the population was sparse due to constant war, starvation, disease, etc.

So, how can Native Americans prosper while being in the middle of nowhere? The answer is easy. If you don’t know how to solve a problem, look to nature. In nature, certain species of trees, plants or animals thrive in particular environments or at particular heights or conditions. Being in the middle of nowhere puts you far from markets, but close to vast quantities of land. Since land is so prohibitively expensive in cities, having endless expanses of land is helpful for many industries. But, what are these industries?

Here are some ideas for industries that would work well for Native Americans.

1. Buffalo Farming
This is already being done by many people and is a growing trade. Many tribes, particularly in the mid-west made their living from eating buffalo meat for thousands of years, using the skin to make tee pees, etc., They used every part of the buffalo as a matter of practice and religious belief as a general rule. The issue is that traditional Native Americans hunted wild buffaloes and rarely engaged in domesticated farming which is where the cultural adjustment happens. Hopis and Navajos (the exception to the generalization) are more domesticated in their culture even though Navajos had a long nomadic history migrating down from Alaska over the last 2000 years. Incidentally, the Navajo language and culture are still similar to many Alaskan ones. These two tribes typically grow corn and have goats, sheep, and other animals that they own as opposed to letting them run wild like many other tribes. But, I digress.

Buffalo meat is one of the most lean and healthy meats you can eat. Free range or wild meat is more healthy as a rule and has better qi energy (Chinese medicine) because it wanders around more as opposed to being trapped in concentration camp conditions like other animals. Since it is a traditional animal for many tribes, they might take pride in domesticating it. Additionally, there is a growing market for this meat and big money to be made. All people have to do is learn this trade, and own some land with grass on it. Pollution from fracking, mining and oil drilling can contaminate conditions easily, and this is a huge barrier to success in this business. Knowing what to feed these beasts, how to kill them, butcher them, find buyers, and transport the proceeds are some of the skills involved. Knowing how to make a killer buffalo burger is also a good supplemental skill.

2. Farming & water resources in general
Farming is good when you have infinite land. However, land does not always have good soil or water. Mastery of water harvesting is essential to survival and this is an issue of global concern as much of the world has a water shortage. The ability to collect water and use it efficiently is wealth in the future. There are ways to collect rain water and store it. Desalination is another valuable and expensive high tech skill to have. Those who can control water will survive while others will die in decades to come. The world will also fight wars over rivers and water supplies according to my spiritual guru. You can always get good soil trucked in for a fee. Even the driest parts of Arizona get about 12 inches of rain per year. The skill is figuring out how to get the water and store it in tanks. These are skills that are attuned to living in harmony with nature which is a typical concern of traditional Native Americans which is why I recommend this skill. Farming is hard work and takes a lot of getting used to. I know nothing about it. But, maybe you will master it.

3. Solar panel manufacturing and installation
China leads the world in making solar panels. But, since this is a craft that can save the environment, it should be popular with tribal folks. Many tribes are getting very involved in solar technology such as the Lakota, and I hope this trend continues. Manufacturing involves having buildings where you can do work. It also involves a knowledge of ever changing technology and cost optimization strategy. You need to know how to sell your crafts and transport them as well. Solar manufacturing takes up lots of space, so being far away from cities works in your favor as you have tons of open space.

On a side note — I think people should lobby the government not to shut down oil pipelines (because that won’t happen for a long time) but to have more restrictions for oil pipelines such as safety measures. If there can be alarm systems when pipes are leaking or redundancy in the walls of pipes. If there could be legislation for how pipes can cross rivers that would be very critical as well. Personally, I feel that if you put a river through a pipe for half a mile where the oil pipe is going over it — if there is a leak, the leak will not go into the water. This is a great way to preserve water — our most valuable resource.

4. Marketing crafts worldwide
Native Americans are famous for having some of the best jewelry around. But, let’s expand on this skill set. First, you can sell jewelry outside of your local area to people in other states or countries. Perhaps someone in the Gui Lin region of China needs a new kachina — you’ll never know if you don’t try to tap into that market. Additionally, there are many other things people can make besides traditional jewelry. People could make sofas with traditional native designs. People could make mousepads. Incidentally, I saw Native American mousepads for $36 at a store. Not many people will pay $36, but if you can get the price down to $8, you might be able to sell some. Clothing manufacturing is another craft to consider. Furniture manufacturing is yet another good craft.

5. Modular home manufacturing.
It is much cheaper to buy a home in pieces and just put it on a foundation than to build on site. But, the pieces have to be made somewhere. Modular home manufacturing involves having lots of space and reservations typically have this. Lots of skill is involved, so try to hire good teachers so the whole tribe can benefit.

6. Plumbing, Roofing, Flooring.
Many homes in reservations are falling apart while high unemployment rates abound. If those unemployed people could get some training and learn to fix broken buildings, that would solve two problems at the same time. There might not be money to pay for the services or even the parts involved. However, as tribal people, the whole basis of a tribe is all for one, and one for all. You should be willing to help you tribal brothers and sisters without being paid much, or anything at least to some extent even in modern times. Remember — native culture is based on giving, secular modern culture is based on taking. Native culture is supposed to be communal, so don’t think about yourself. Help others, give, and make sure people get training too.

Mold is another issue, particularly in Lakota areas. A new specialty trade needs to be developed — namely mold removal specialists. Mold is dangerous and can damage your health and specifically your lungs as it is a living organism.

7. Food packaging and processing.
The diet of modern day Native Americans is not healthy. Fry bread is not indigenous to tribal people, but was brought by the Spanish. Native people treat it as their native dish, but it is very damaging to your liver and should not be consumed. Asian Indians have flat bread too, but theirs is cooked in a frying pan with a tablespoon of oil rather than a quart. The manufacturing of healthy food products could save the health of millions and provide a valuable export for many tribal communities. Here are a few ideas:

Soups – creating healthy soups with lots of vegetables, buffalo and other ingredients is a great idea.
Meat Sticks – one tribe sells meat sticks with buffalo and berries in it. Tastes great but a little expensive.
TV Dinners — healthy ones with lots of veggies and lean meats would be preferable. And don’t use microwaves as that is very bad for your health.
Chips – not the healthiest, but baked is better than fried and it is a labor intensive industry that can erase unemployment fast. Potato chips, veggie chips, tortilla chips are all options.
Jams – with all the berries that grow up north, making jams is a great and healthy idea.

8. Hospitality
Native Americans have not exploited this opportunity yet, but they should. Americans are often very interested in America’s past, and what better way to learn about it than on a resort on or near a reservation. There could be great food, story telling, dancing, art, and nature walks. But, nobody will hang around at a resort unless the food is good and unless they have clean rooms and lots of fun, so mastering the art of being great at hospitality in all ways is a trade to master.

9. Restaurants
Native Americans need to reinvent their cuisine. The American South recreated their traditional cuisine after the civil war. Everything they owned had been destroyed so they had to start all over again. Two hundred years ago native people at all types of things, but that culture has mostly been lost. In New Mexico, native food is typically lamb, fry bread, beans, and green chile. This is some of my favorite food, but you can’t just hand someone a plate of cooked ingredients — it needs to be gourmet. Mastering the art of creating and improvising on dishes and making them works of art is a skill. You might consider hiring some outside help for this. If I were creating a menu, I would have:

Zuni kabobs — meat on a stick with some green chili rubbed into it.
Hopi hummous – a popular middle eastern dish with some Southwester touches and a catchy name.
Lamb tacos – using fry bread, but hopefully cooked in less oil and a mini fry bread instead of the huge ones.
Vegetable and rabbit stew – sounds great, but add some herbs for God’s sake.

10. Rabbit farming.
The easiest animal to grow is rabbits. You will get more meat for each pound you feed them than any other species. And what more, they multiply like rabbits. This is a great farming idea. Additionally, rabbit meat might be healthy as rabbits jump around a lot. You get that jumping energy in you which according to four out of five shamans surveyed, might be a good energy to have if you are feeling sluggish.

11. Outsourcing medicine man knowledge
The traditional medicine of native people was from medicine men. This dying art is quite valuable. Western medicine preoccupies itself with drugs which are toxic and have side effects. Chinese medicine is better with acupuncture and herbs. But, what about using your mind force and tapping into shamanic energies to heal the sick. This has been in use for tens of thousands of years and I was a master of this in many past existences. Many people of European ancestry might benefit from this dying art. It is imperative that you teach your newer generation this art and share it with the whites. You might have a new source of income and get brownie points with God for all the people you help.

There is a huge growing interest in shamanism in the west. This is probably because those that used shamanism in tribal societies died and got reborn as white people (a logical but unproven conclusion.)

The other benefit of shamanism is that there are some very capable spirits in places like New Mexico who you could do healing work in conjunction with. Those spirits are happy to help, but need someone to communicate with the living. Sorry to freak you out, but I know these spirits and they are great. They cured my sciatic pain over the years and helped with other health problems. They prefer to work on me while I am driving in remote areas.

12. Summer camp
Instead of being ashamed of your heritage and trying to act all white (and many of you don’t have to try as it comes naturally) you can export your culture to children in the form of summer camp. You can teach stories, archery, make tee pees (or igloos) and have fun activities.

13. Call Center
People outsource call centers to Manila and Bombay, but there are plenty of unemployed people who speak excellent English in the five hundred or so indigenous communities who would be super call center employees. There is big business in call centers and endless work. You have to keep the prices low and the burn out rate is high, but it is a real solution to unemployment. If even a few people in your tribe can learn the trade well and can manage the others, you could get a cheap building and start your own call center. You do need to know how to market your business, and that is an art in itself. But, many companies will subcontract to you and freelancing is also popular.

14. Unrelated…
IDEA FOR A COMFORTABLE COMMUNAL LIVING SITUATION
Below is my idea for a healthy living environment for tribes.
My vision includes having a large piece of land perhaps several miles wide. The land could have buffaloes roaming around, and even wolves or other zoo animals in some areas. It is my assertion that humans are happier and healthier when they stay connected to their power animal. Some of us descend spiritually from cats, dogs, buffalo, snakes, or apes, etc. Having your living environment chock full of animals makes it a tourist attraction as well as a pleasant place to live.

There could be call centers with large windows overlooking grazing buffaloes which might be emotionally satisfying (and reduce turnover no pun intended). There could also be manufacturing going on in certain buildings of soups, solar panels, and other things. There could be very heat efficient living quarters in other areas. Most of all, transportation needs to be efficient and having everything walking distance and keeping cars on the outside of the compound seems like a wonderful idea. Although having a few slow moving electric carts or Segways seems okay.

For those in a northern climate, having independent houses seems to not make sense. You lose too much heat through the walls. It makes more sense to have buildings that are multistory and cubical and can accommodate dozens of families. That way there are less outer walls and less opportunities for heat to get out.

The most salient feature of this type of compound is to have walking tracks that go through the buffalo fields. I would call it a buffalo walk. This is a great way to stay healthy as a matter of group activity in a way where you connect to your spirit animal which for many Lakotas is the buffalo. Of course, my animal is the Bengal Tiger and they would probably eat you if you let them run around freely. But, if you had enough land you could keep a few around for good luck. Just feed them plenty of raw meat.

The ending joke of the compound idea is the father and son team that export hippie t-shirts throughout the world for obscene profits who start the day by saying, “Today is a good day to dye!”

If this industrious communal living situation proved profitable, tribes and clans would be able to buy large expanses of land and let buffalos go free just like in the 1700’s. It is possible to recreate your tribal past, but it can only happen if you can master the art of modern economics and pay tax on your land.

On a final note, whatever you do in your reservation — don’t become a mobile notary otherwise you will spend the rest of your life complaining about fax backs and not getting paid on time. And one more thing — never look a Bengal Tiger in the eye, unless it is your power animal and wants some milk.

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March 7, 2019

Jeremy’s trip to Texas (yee-haw)

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:29 am

I went to Texas in November on a relocation trip. I wanted to get a sense of the various cities so I could figure out if I wanted to relocate. Needless to say, driving from Los Angeles to Texas was a lot of driving. I was anxious to get out of town. So, I got my work done as fast as possible. The minute I was done, I bolted. The first day I drove 700 miles from Los Angeles to Deming. Then from Deming to Hobbs so I could see more of Southeastern New Mexico and then the next day I got to Dallas.

My dream was to have dim sum (Chinese dumplings brought around on little carts) and sit next to a Texas millionaire who was about 65 and wearing an oversized coyboy hat who would tell me all about how he made his first million while ordering in fluent Chinese with a thick Texan drawl. No such luck. My meal in Dallas was spent sitting next to some snobby guys in their mid 30’s who looked like they were more than just friends. The entire restaurant was snobby and unfriendly. It took a few days to figure out that every Texan I met hated Dallas and thought it was snobby. But, Dallas is where the sophistication is. Can’t we have sophistication without the attitude problem? I’m not moving to this place. So, I checked out some other towns and had excellent Chinese food in Richardson and Grand Prairie.

I drove down to Houston which had a very odd Gulf of Mexico vibe even when you were 50 miles or more from the water. Other people felt it too. The road rage in Houston was bad, and I got out of there, but only after a few hours bumming around Chinatown and having some good dumplings. The next day was the Alamo. I had been there before (and didn’t forget) and loved it the second time around. I had Texas style gumbo on the riverwalk, and a great Thai massage uptown too. San Antonio is the nicest city I have seen anywhere. But, I didn’t meet my Texas millionaire there. Next was up to Austin, and I had a nice conversation with a construction worker at a taco place. He said the city did nothing but grow out of control for more than ten years and he had no time off. After that it was back to Fort Worth for a German pancake, some Cajun food and more looking around town. But, no Texas Millionaire. The next day I left Texas and it was up to Oklahoma.

The minute I crossed the border into Oklahoma I stopped for gas. There was a long line. I started chatting with a very unassuming guy who was about 65 dressed in jeans and a baseball hat plus a vest. He told me he had a house in Dallas and another in Palm Springs. He had a solid business, and worked until late in life, saved up and lived the lifestyle that he wanted. Finally — I had met my Texas millionaire! He was nice too. After that I saw a little of OKC, and then to Tulsa. I had no idea that Oklahoma was such a spiritual state. I meditated and the vibration for meditation was better there than anywhere else I have ever seen. Hiking next to a lake was spectacular too as Oklahoma is picturesque and beautiful. I had previously thought it was Texas under another name, but it is really different and so much more asthetically pleasing than Texas which is ugly in most parts (although the Eastern extreme of Texas has pretty trees).

After that I spent some time in New Mexico. I stayed in Santa Fe for a few days and then down to Roswell, Ruidoso, and Deming. I had great Mexican and Vietnamese food in Roswell and a great hike in Ruidoso. Roswell is famous for UFO landings. So I made my UFO joke.

ME: Are you going to abduct me?
GREEN GUY: No, but can you like us on Facebook?

It was hard to find healthy food in most of New Mexico. The state revolves around meat. Vegetables are just not a big thing there and that is bad. It is hard to stay healthy and not get fat, diabetes, or heart disease if you eat meat and tortillas all day long. In any case, I spent a few days in Phoenix after that where I know where to get amazing salads, and then came home feeling exhausted. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so drained. Carmen thought I was tired. But, I think that staying around oil rigs on the road was toxic. The Texas panhandle, Western Oklahoma and SE New Mexico are all being drilled up and it stinks of gas there. America is being destroyed by oil companies and the government allows this. Solar is so much of a better idea. When will we all wake up?

In any case, my trip was fruitful (but not vegetable-full) in that I learned which cities I like and which I did not. All in all, I think that moving out of Los Angeles is a bad idea as we have so much more here than any other city I have ever been to. And, I met my Texas millionaire – not where I wanted to meet him, and he wasn’t fluent in Chinese with a Texan drawl, but he was still nice.

My best memory of the trip was at Eatzy’s in Dallas in the sandwich section. I told the clerk how I complimented some people on their dumplings. I said:

“Ni-men de guo tie fei chang hao.” Then I said, “How is my accent?” He said, “You need to say y’all more.” I don’t think people use the word y’all when they speak Chinese. But, since I learned in the South of China, maybe it will catch on.

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January 31, 2019

My new health regimen left me without my favorite foods

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:36 am

I have not had much to drink in ten years, but I love to eat, and fatty foods are not a popular choice for my liver and gall bladder which regularly complain. Finally I went to the doctor after feeling not exactly dizzy, but having a feeling that my head was not completely connecting to my body and feeling heaviness in my arms and legs. I was sent to get ultrasound and the results were that (no, it was not a boy.) I had a stone in my gall bladder and a fatty liver. Gulp. The doc said it was time to eliminate deep fried foods and lose weight.

I have had a rule against french fries for the last ten years because my gall bladder cannot stand them. But, now I had to get rid of a bunch of other things on my list. Don’t get me wrong, I have salads, fruits and good things too, but, here are the culprits in my health condition.

Indian curries — too much grease in the sauce
Pakora — deep fried, so that is out.
Fried Chicken — too greasy.
Ice Cream — But, I used to have that several times a week and loved it.
Wine — My two glasses per week are out because it upsets the liver a little bit.
Meat — too much cholesterol and fat.
Soy Milk – too much estrogen and bad hormones and other bad things that I don’t completely understand.Only had it once per week.

So, what would I replace the wrong things on my diet with.

Curries replaced with Aloo Gobhi. (is it Ghobi or Gobhi? I know there is an h, but where is it the Hindi word for cauliflower?)
Pakoras replaced with samosas. Still a little bit greasy, but not as bad
Fried chicken and rotisserie chicken off the list completely replaced by an apple and bread.
Ice Cream — I thought I would die without it. Dessert is replaced by smoked almonds and mango lassi’s or mango juice.
Wine – There is no substitute for wine other than cherry juice. It’s just not the same.
Meat — I am having more fish and more squash and veggies and smaller less frequent portions of meat.
Rice — I am having less carbs too. More oats, less rice. I’ll have more veggies and potatoes with skins on instead of lots of rice.
Soy Milk — Replaced with fruit and/or bread.

Questions
1. An Irishman went into an Indian restaurant and asked why the had mango lassi’s but no mango lads.
2. My new favorite food is mango juice. Instead of missing the old foods I love, now I look forward to my newly discovered favorite of mango juice and smoked almonds. But, today I am juice fasting and mango juice has pulp, so I am really missing it today. The Indian stores sell it pure, but the American stores mix it with apple and other juices. I don’t want Mango Tango — I want just mango!
3. How long to revive the liver and gall bladder? Perhaps a year or two for the liver if I behave. Gall stones are hard or impossible to dissolve, but I am taking peppermint extract and pear juice to soften and dissolve my single stone. My guru says it will work but will take five years. Just as long as it is less than 1cm, then it is not dangerous anymore, so let’s hope we get to that point soon.

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January 30, 2019

How I succeeded creating an online business

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:42 am

Many people try to create an online business, but most don’t get anywhere. The costs are high, the complications are endless, the talent you need is hard to fulfill, and then, everything changes the minute you have learned the game.

When I first started 123notary, I put a bunch of names on geographically distinct lists. Different counties, states and zip code areas had lists of Notaries. I knew at that point that a directory is more than just a list of names. So, I made sure people were still in business as I had seen many other directories where many had dysfunctional phones, etc.

I wanted listings to look good, so I made sure that people had notes about their service, extra counties and a lot of information.

Next I had to get my directory seen, so I had to invest heavily in online advertising, and call a lot of title and signing companies who used Notaries. We also had many campaigns to have a lot of incoming links. The work was hard, but in those early days, advertising on Google Adwords and Yahoo was cheap. The cost went up and then my struggles changed.

Google Adwords went from 5 cents a click up to more than a dollar. I had to think, otherwise I would be put out of business by a changing tide of economic conditions that happened all of a sudden. So, my SEO specialist / programmer taught me Zen and the art of getting organic clicks. We also expanded our list of keywords that we paid for to over 1000, so that we could big less on each word, but still attract a lot of traffic. This strategy worked and made staying afloat affordable.

Then, the social media revolution came. I had to learn to blog, do Facebook and Twitter. It took many years to get good at each of these skills. I may not have started out with any talent, but I acquired some over time. Imagine how hard it is to please a crowd of highly critical Notaries day after day, year after year. I had to think of new ideas for articles at least twenty times per month. Can you do that?

Facebook changed its algorithm, and now to do well on Facebook, it is only your winning content that will do well at all. The other junk you write will just not get seen much. The secret is figuring out how to create hot content consistently and then you will dominate market share on Zuckerberg’s wonder engine. This algorithm change was a monumental challenge to promoting our business.

Google also changed its algorithm a few years ago. Blog writing was promoted highly on Google for a while, and then they did not give as favorable placement to blogs after that. Only the good blogs survived.

Finally, once I had mastered the game and learned to adapt to all of the algorithm changes of the various internet Gods who I was trying to please — the bottom dropped out of the Notary industry. And Snapdocs gained popularity. I tried so hard to compete with SnapDocs. I tried screening our Notaries for quality. I tried adding more quantity. Nothing was working. I will try some new algorithms for my search results in the future. We will see how those work out.

So, that is what creating an online business was like for me. An uphill battle that is never ending. Thank God I survived, but it was through pure determination and a skill set that I had to keep evolving.

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December 31, 2018

Have you ever broken down on a busy street with no shoulder?

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: , — admin @ 12:21 am

This is a tip for mobile Notaries, pizza delivery people, and others who are on the road a lot. I am no longer a Notary Public, but I still drive a fair amount. I drove to the beach at night to enjoy the relaxing environment at Pacific Palisades. I do this once a week unless I am out of town or busy. The negative ions from the Pacific ocean are really theraputic and I always feel much better afterwards.

My plans were ruined
But, this time, I was going to rush to a bar to hang out with people and enjoy some root beer (sorry, no alcohol folks). I took Sunset Blvd to drive to West Hollywood to hang out at Genghis Cohen Chinse Restaurant & Bar in hopes of seeing old acquaintances. So, as I was driving down Sunset, my car lots all connection to the transmission and started making horrible noises when in gear. I pulled over in thick traffic and tried to figure out what was wrong. The engine sounded super in neutral. But, when in any gear I heard this noise that sounded like gears treading on gears making a drill type noise. Ugh. In any case, it sounded like I broke a timing belt or some other belt, or perhaps snapped a gear if that is possible. I am not a mechanic, so I am just making reasonable guesses based on the conditions.

Sunset Blvd goes far too fast
Sunset Blvd. is a street where people are going 30-50 miles per hour on a street with two lanes on each side, generally no shoulder, and lots of curves that impede visibility. It is easy to have a head on collision going around curves if there is another car next to you going the same direction and someone drunk on the other side coming at you. People in that area are always impatient and in a huge hurry. It is not uncommon to see deadly accidents in that part of town on hilly or windy roads because people go far too fast. Although the local houses are all worth more than a million, you are in a lot of danger in that area due to the culturally ingrained road rage.

No breakdown lane or shoulder
So, I was broken down. I tried to get into the right lane weaving through other cars with my blinkers on. I managed to get to the curb, but since the car stopped moving, I could not get as close as I wanted. My rear was about two feet from the curb and my front was six inches. Cars were whizzing around and came within inches of my car. The cars in the right land could not get into the left lane if there were other cars in it which made the situation very dangerous. I felt terrified as I decided to get out of the car and call AAA. The lady at AAA was very nice to me. They called the police and a tow truck. But, neither came for the longest time. The AAA lady said she would stay on the phone with me as long as I liked which was comforting.

Directing traffic.
I stood in the middle of the right lane pointing cars to slow down or stop and get in the other lane. But, they ignored me and almost ran me down and still almost crashed into my 2004 Corolla which I love. I didn’t want to get a new car because the transmission in the older cars is more agreeable than the seven speed in the newer Corollas which changes gears every three seconds which is really annoying. Then, I got a better idea. I got my military flashlight from the car. That way cars would see me from further away. But, since they were coming around a curve and then hitting a light before they saw me, they still ignored me. They still were coming within inches of hitting my precious old car that I love so dearly. Maybe I should have shined the light directly in their faces like some obnoxious lady cop was doing at the airport. It is the only way to get people to stop ignoring you. Great idea!

Security finally showed up
A security car that looked like a police car finally showed up. He had bright orange lights on the top of his vehicle that made my break down more visible. Ten minutes later my tow truck came. He was very experienced and got me loaded up within thirty seconds and sped away at break neck speeds. He got me into my parking spot at home beautifully as well. I told him how impressed I was, because backing up with a trailer is a skill.

Precautions
To all of you people who are on the road a lot, it might make sense to practice dealing with dangerous situations ahead of time so you don’t freak out. Here are some suggestions.

1. Practice changing a tire, and make sure your spare has air in it after sitting in your trunk for years. Inspect it regularly.

2. Know where your flares are. A flare can save you from getting hit.

3. Have a few flashlights in the car, and perhaps some batteries that fit them. I have a hiking head flashlight (miner style) and a military flashlight and a regular flashlight.

4. If you break down on a busy road, stand 200 feet behind the vehicle on the curb and tell the drivers to slow down and use a flashlight if you have one. Rehearse this in your mind ahead of time so you will be ready when you are frazzled.

5. Know where your AAA card is. If you don’t have Triple A, consider getting it because they are life savers and also you can get discounts on hotels, maps, and other services with AAA.

6. Know the schedule of your reliable repair people. I prefer Toyota, but I had bad luck with the new owners of downtown Toyota, so I will have to try a new branch. They are not normally open on Sundays, so that creates an issue because today is Sunday and I am broken down in my parking spot at home. Hmmm.

7. If you are in an unsafe or remote area, having a gun is not a bad idea. I would never carry one until the world goes to hell, but you might consider it.

8. Make sure your cell phone is charged up at all times because you never know when you are going to need it.

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December 25, 2018

A funny name for a Notary business

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:22 am

I got an email from someone named Dockery. But, we have two Dockeries on our site and her first name did not match either, and neither did her email address. It would be easier if we could search by business name. What about Hickory Dickory Dockery Notary Service — where the notary is always running up the clockery, but not the bill.

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December 23, 2018

Administering an Oath to a psychic

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:45 pm

If you are administering an Oath to a psychic, should you have them swear on a stack of bibles, or a deck of tarot cards? If you use tarot cards, put the death card on top to make the Oath look more serious. Just my take.

If you want to know their intentions about the Oath, pick a card. If you get the devil card, you might not want this person to be a repeat customer. Or you might get the fool card in which case you might get paid more as fools and their money soon part. Watch out for the hang man card. You don’t want that if doing notary acts otherwise your payment might end up hanging.

One Notary always has his affiants sign on a deck of tarot cards. Some say he is not playing with a full deck. Personally, I just think he is missing a few signatures!

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November 30, 2018

Good Notarial Bacteria vs. Bad.

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:30 am

We all have read that there are different types of bacteria in our gut. There is good bacteria and bad bacteria. The bad bacteria thrives on junk food, creates stagnation in your colon and leads to obesity not from the calories, but from the conditions it creates. Good bacteria creates flow in your colon and kills the bad bacteria. The idea is so simple, even a three year old could understand it.

But, now researchers are finding a new type of bacteria that only Notaries have in their gut. There is the Predatella, and the Notaroides Fragilis. These types of gut bacteria are so numerous in the bellies of Notaries, that they influence the thinking patterns of Notaries. You are probably thinking — how can a few bacteria affect your thoughts? Ever get a gut feeling? Sometimes the ganglia in your gut make better decisions than the ones in your brain. And your bad bacteria tell you that you want to eat ice cream rather than an apple — scientifically proven.

In any case, these bad bacteria, in particular, the Predatella strain of large intestinal bacteria sent messages to the Notary telling the Notary to backdate to satiate their feelings of satisfaction while, the notary himself would not have this urge if he had healthier bacteria.

The solution is not what you would think. Fermented foods feed good bacteria. Foods like yogurt, kefir, wine, South Indian dosa (type of fermented pancake), Korean Kimchi, kombucha, etc. These foods are readily available and are the best thing for gut health which is a neglected aspect of health. It is not so much how many calories that go in that affect obesity, but the nature of what you are putting into your body.

So, yesterday I went to have a masala dosa. The meal was great, but when I got my bill, the waitress put the wrong date on it. I think that perhaps she is not eating what she is serving — just a gut feeling.

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November 14, 2018

What are my best memories of 123notary?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:18 am

I have many memories of 123notary going far back.

I remember not being able to transfer the name notarywilltravel.com back in 2000. That is why I had to register the name 123notary. That changed my life. I think angels were involved and had a plan for me. Or perhaps I’m watching too much Joel Osteen.

I remember when my father built a system for updating listings back in 2001. He had to teach me a little bit about the FTP process for me to be able to use it. It was very primitive, but got the job done.

I remember when I first met Carmen back in 2003. I taught her about loan signing and then begged her to work for me. I still have the contract she signed about commissions.

I remember learning SEO from Mark at eMarketing Associates back in 2008. Mark changed my life. He taught me about breadcrumb links and a lot more.

In 2009, an irate Notary from Louisiana made some B.S. excuses for not getting back to me about a complaint. She claimed to be in a hospital, and then raised holy hell when I asked for evidence that she was in the hospital.

Mitch got me started on blogging in 2010. My first blogs mostly didn’t fly with the audience, but some of the articles I wrote in 2010 are the most popular that I have ever written. Beginners luck?

I remember 2012 being the most profitable year of my life, or was it 2013? I guess the Mayans were wrong.

Writing Bartender Notary was a great memory. I don’t think the post was that successful, but I really enjoyed writing it along with My date with Jeremy.

Hiring Andy to help with comedy writing was a great memory. We still work together and he really helped add humor to my Notary Public 101 course which the Notaries are still complimenting me on. Lucky! Sometimes comedy backfires.

In 2017 I removed more than 1000 certifications from people who either cheated on their original test or just had no idea what they were doing. It is so sad to see so much ignorance and obstinence. This is my worst memory.

I will remember all the phone quizzes I did and how much people hated it. There were a few happy memories of people I could elite certify, but not that many.

I hope I have some good memories of 123notary in the future. Honestly, I love the work, but I do not like the anger and lazy attitude that the majority of the Notaries have. It really drains the life out of Carmen and myself and it is so unnecessary and counterproductive.

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You might also like:

123notary 2018 Certification Standards
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20120

The History of 123notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17458

123notary behind the scenes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2499

The story of 123notary.com
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=710

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