May 2019 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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May 31, 2019

Your number of loans signed just went down?

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 10:30 am

When I do welcome calls, I will spend the better part of a day offering our newsletter to people and asking them how many loans they have signed. It is so hard for people to think about how many loans they have signed. Don’t they keep some sort of count? When I was a Notary people used to ask. Of course that was back in what I call the “Pre-Instagram Age.” That is a time not far after the horse and buggy went out of style.

When I ask people by phone how many loans they sign, although the answers are awkward, at least I feel I am getting an honest, but not necessarily accurate number. People are more comfortable telling me how many years they have been signing. But, if you signed one loan per year for ten years, that is equivalent to someone who signed ten loans per day in one day. Which experience is worth more and what does it all mean?

But, when I go through people’s profiles and look at their number of loans signed and it says 5000, and then I call them and ask them how many loans they have signed, the answer usually goes down. I ask because I assume they didn’t bother to update their numbers for a year or two… or six. But, I uncover lies, deception, and deceit when I ask this question. How did we go from 5000 loans down to 1500. Did you sign negative loans over the last six months?

Maybe I should keep track of who the liars are. Hmmm. That might be a longer list than I care to know about.

As always, keep your number of loans signed up to date and if possible — honest and accurate, or as accurate as humanly possible.

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May 30, 2019

What defines what a signature is?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 10:44 am

I never stopped to think about this until today. What defines a signature? A signature is a type of a mark that is systemically used by a particular individual to identify themselves by name on a document. It is normally a cursive version of their name (do they still teach cursive to the youngins these days?) Some people might print their name in a unique way. Some disabled people might do a signature by x with some subscribing witness. Someone signed using Chinese characters with me as their Notary. And then there are the doctor scribble type signatures too. All of these are acceptable as signatures.

But, how do you know this is their genuine mark? Just check their drivers license and make sure the signature matches up. Sometimes signatures evolve as a person gets older. But the basic stroke style should be about the same. If it doesn’t match up, then you might be at risk notarizing that signature. The signature in Chinese characters I was a little apprehensive or as the Chinese say, “Zhao-ji” about, but I checked the ID and it matched.

In the old days in America, the upper class used to seal deals actually using seals, which is where the expression seems to have come from. They used candle was and a stamp of some sort to seal their business deals on pieces of paper. I saw that in a movie when someone sold a slave.

And in China some people use a square and very intricate seal with four characters on it sometimes written in their antiquated form. They are very beautiful and you can look them up online under the term, “traditional Chinese seal” and then look up images. They could be made from marble or wood, or many types of materials I guess.

But, once I notarized a movie producer from Israel. His signature was some sort of a line with a hook and a dot. He claims he signed million dollar deals with that signature. The only thing I had to say to him was, “You call that a signature?”

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May 28, 2019

Sometimes I feel like Charlie Hebdo

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:34 am

I remember two years ago where half of France was saying, “I am Charlie.” The fact was that Charlie was obnoxious and offensive. He did not deserve to die, but there is no dignity in mocking prophets either. A muslim cop lost his life defending people during that attack. Talk about irony.

In any case, I write blog articles that are not any more offensive than prime time television which is intended for children to watch. When TV makes a harmless joke, they are not criticized at all, but when I do the same thing, I have a lynch mob of intolerant leftists using intimidation to get me to stop publishing the type of posts that get clicks. They think they are the boss of what I write and they think they can call me horrible names and intimidate me to control me. This is very offensive.

America is a land of freedom of speech. I disagree with the abuse of this freedom to call people offensive names or make false accusations. But, we do have freedom of press and speech. If you attack people verbally or in writing for writing something you don’t like, you are endangering the very freedoms our national forefathers risked or sacrificed their lives for. Do you really want to life in a country where we either don’t have freedom of speech or people can’t use their freedom of speech because of a bunch of bullies who bully anyone who is (a) caucasian and (b) opens their mouth and says what they think or makes any small joke, or makes any reference to race offensive or not? This is the reality of contemporary American culture. We no longer have freedom of speech, especially if you are white. Talk about unfair color lines.

If you don’t like racism to happen to you, then don’t enforce color lines on whites. Suppressing whites might seem fair to you based on the horrors that happened in American history, but suppressing white speech is racism, not fair, and a violation of my constitutional rights. Freedom of speech and press means I can say what I like without being intimidated, harassed, or put in jail.

In Europe, due to Muslim extremists, whites no longer have freedom of speech. If they say anything against Islam they could be threatened or killed. Many of you are turning America into that kind of reality. If you see the long term effects of this bullying you would reconsider. The bullying is really disgusting. I don’t know what goes on in some of your heads, but you really feel justified demeaning people and its just plain wrong — and also dangerous if you value freedom.

Also read: What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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May 27, 2019

Aaron calls the “Above and Beyond” Notary Hotline

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:48 am

AARON: Hi, Notary hotline?

HOTLINE LADY: Hi, this is Roxanne (sultry voice), what kind of a question do you have for me today?

AARON: Ummm, this is the NNA hotline, right?

HOTLINE LADY: I think you’re mistaken. We’re not the NNA, we’re Above and Beyond.

AARON: Oh.. Um… Okay, so can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: What?

AARON: (a little louder) So, can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: I still didn’t hear you clearly, honey.

AARON: (yelling) Can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: Not so loud. What do you think I am… deaf??? To answer your question, you must be able to communicate directly with the signer. So, you could do what the deep water divers do and use a mini chalk board to communicate.

AARON: Can I bring my wet suit to the signing too? I’ve always wanted to do that.

HOTLINE LADY: With some of the clients you deal with, the oxygen tanks might come in handy. So (pause) what are you wearing?

AARON: What????

HOTLINE LADY: You heard me you shy little guy you. (pausse) What are you wearing?

AARON: Is this a real Notary hotline?

HOTLINE LADY: You keep confusing us with the NNA. The NNA sticks to giving professional answers to Notary questions. We do that, plus a little more, hence the name Above and Beyond Notary Hotline. I bet you’re wearing something sexy. Would you like to tell me what is it. I’ll tell you what I’m wearing.

AARON: Oh God. Ummm. I’m wearing (pause) a shirt.

HOTLINE LADY: Oooooooh. That sounds sexy. So, what do you do for a living?

AARON: I sell paper.

HOTLINE LADY: That sounds ex–citing. Do you think you could use a girl like me to help you sell a little more paper?

AARON: You might make the business a little less dry and academic.

HOTLINE LADY: Try steamy and sultry and definitely not academic. I’m a high school drop out, yet, I have a “way” (said slowly) with words. And another question for you in regards to your career. Are you living the dream or are you living for paper?

AARON: Ha ha ha, that’s a line from the Notorious BIG hip hop movie when they meet the agent in Brooklyn. In my case, I’m living for reams and reams of paper. My dream is paper.

HOTLINE LADY: Well anyway, it was fun talking to you. I hope I steamed up your car windows adequately.

AARON: You steamed me, shocked me, but you didn’t grill me. Tomorrow I have to talk to the boss about quotas and believe you me, he’s going to grill me about every single analytic number.

HOTLINE LADY: Well let me know if you need a good marinade. Can’t grill a sales employee without a good tomato and vinegar based marinade.

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May 26, 2019

X is now a gender and not a generation

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:55 am

The NNA wrote in their blog (and I think this is bad advice by the way) that you should not fill in the he/she/they in California if the gender on the ID says “x”. However, the whole point of the he/she/they is to deter fraud, so by not filling it in, you are inviting fraud (but, without the RSVP card). You no longer know if the person is singular or plural, x-etera. And then asking people to sign next to the “x” presents some other sensitivity issues now doesn’t it. On the other hand, what might make sense is to put in handwriting at the bottom of the acknowledgment that this is a notarization for a single person of gender neutral (or unknown gender) association. That way you have documented the gender and quantity of people. Or, the state could come up with a form that says he/she/x/they which in today’s times makes a lot more “xense.”

When I was growing up there was generation x. Now there is gender-ation x. Boy have things changed. I never thought I would live to see this day. And I have no say in the matter. By the way, I self-identify as being a South African Bushman — is there a spot on the form for that?

It would not surprise me if some millennial came up to one of these transgender people and said, “I self-identify as being a Notary Public.” Do you have a commission? What’s that?

We can change our appearance, but can we change our chromosomes?

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May 25, 2019

What is the most valuable thing I can do with an hour of my time?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:31 am

I do a lot of activities at 123notary.

I do data entry to put more people on the site.
I do welcome calls to help new members fill in information and introduce them to how we do things.
I write blogs
I create content for social media
I answer emails
I do sales and renewals, although Carmen does most of that.
I also can teach and test people on notary issues.

Any idiot can do data entry, and most of the people who do data entry are not too bright. Yet I spend 20% of my time doing exactly that. Any idiot can do welcome calls. However, to find someone dependable to do that job who will do it in the long run is almost impossible. Blog creation and social media is something anyone can do, but few can do well, and few are willing to do in the long run. I think this is something I can do where I do stand out in a positive way. Anyone can answer easy business emails. Sales and renewals involve some skill, but any educated person can do that.

I think that what I can do that is on a higher level that others cannot do so easily is teaching Notaries how to be better signing agents and blogging. The problem is that Notaries by and large think that their years of experience constitute knowledge (which is very far from the truth.) On the other hand Title companies only care about your years of experience and also don’t care if you actually know anything. So, my teaching skills, although a skill that put me above others in this industry are not valued. At least not in 2018. They used to be valued in 2002-2012. I guess that the end of the world for valuing Notary education was 2012 — the Mayans were right once again.

So, maybe I should focus on blogging. The problem is, as imaginative as I am, there is a limit to topics I can discuss that will get mega clicks. To do well in social media, you need a large supply of hot topics and reference type materials that will keep your readers coming back in droves. This is not easy to do. Wish me luck.

To end this article, I would also like to state that the most valuable thing you can do with an hour of your time is to study and get certified, ask clients for reviews and work on your notes section. Each hour you do these activities is actually worth thousands of dollars if you do the math. The problem is that Notaries in 2018 are too busy commiserating with other Notaries instead of just doing the best they can.

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May 24, 2019

What would Ken Edelstein do?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:57 am

When I have a business problem, I ask, what would Donald Trump do?
When I have a love problem, I ask what our hero from back home in Massachusetts Mark Wahlberg would do?

But, what I have a notarial problem, (or when you do), when you ask your psychic to tune into the universe for answers, who should you channel?

How many notarizations must a man go through.
Before, you call him a man (or a “real notary”.)
How many seas must a sea dog swim (also referred to as a seal)
Before she basks on the beach
Yes, how many times must unpaid notary bills fly
Before those signing companies are forever banned?
The answer my friend is Ken Edelstein — the answer is Kenneth Edelstein.

However, Jeremy is writing this article not Ken. This article is inspired by a blog comment by someone who wanted to know what Ken would do in a particular situation.

So, please write your comments about how to handle particular situations, and in a few months, Ken might write some responses for you, but only if you ask nicely. And one more thing. Ken likes turkeys. I’ve never been able to figure that one out. Maybe it’s a New York thing. Hmmm.

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May 23, 2019

How weak are you with sob stories at the signing table?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , — admin @ 11:04 am

Many people will plead with you to do something illegal like notarizing without a signature or without a clear signature. The signer might be close to death or in the hospital or in jail. You might hear an unbelievable good sob story told with tears coming out of somebody’s eyes. The question you should ask yourself is, how badly do you want to end up in jail?

If your goal as a notary is to please the client, find another profession. Your goal should be to please the government and uphold all applicable laws. If you have any time or patience after that, then you can be nice to the clients. You are a No-tary, not a Yes-tary and you can get thrown in jail. So, please learn how to deal with sob stories. I had to deal with one with a dying elderly Chinese man who communicated by squeezing your hand once for yes and twice for no. The squeezing was so unclear I told them to get an attorney and that I didn’t want to get in trouble. Squeezing hands is not a language I speak. South African clicking? Now that’s a different story (songs only and no conversation — sorry.)

Your job is to feel sorry for your government trying to keep law and order. So, choose your allies carefully based on what they can do to you and not on the $10 they might pay you. The End!

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May 22, 2019

Jaywalking with Jay Leno and a few Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:31 am

I was just watching Jay Leno on youtube and was wondering what would happen if he did his routine on people about Notary work.

JAY: Let me ask you something. What do you call the place where a Notary is taking place?

JAMES: That’s easy… the place!

FRED: Wait, wouldn’t it be the locality.

SALLY: How about an SS. Isn’t that on the form?

JAMES: No, that’s a World War Two German soldier.

JAY: Can you explain to me what an Affiant is?

MANDY: I’m stumped. Isn’t that a document that goes to a different country?

SARAH: No, that’s Apostille.

JAY: Name one country in Africa

CRAIG: Ummm. France?

JAY: Name one Notary act

JAMES: Ummm, a subscribing witness?

JAY: That’s a person not an act. Hmm. I’m beginning to see why so many people are upset with Jeremy. He’s asking them questions they don’t have a clue about. No wonder they are mad. Why don’t they just study. They are supposed to know this stuff anyway, aren’t they?

JEREMY: Yes. It is not only bad that most Notaries don’t know their basics, but dangerous to those who hire them and all parties involved in any transaction they notarize.

JAY: Okay Jeremy. Name a country in Africa.

JEREMY: Sierra Leone, illegal diamond trafficking capitol of Africa. And then there is Lethotho, a landlocked country within South Africa where they speak Khosa, the language with the clicking sounds. Let’s not forget about Djibouti, a small country near the Tigri region of Ethiopia where they eat injira with durham wheat as their staple food.

JAY: You lost me on that one. All I want to know is ….

JEREMY: No, they do not drive classic cars in those countries… probably..

JAY: You read my mind.

.

You might also like:

What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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May 21, 2019

A lady Notary gets a request for backdating. Hear this brilliant solutions

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 11:05 am

This is a tip from one of our most seasoned Notaries that we’ve ever had. What season? Hmmm. Autumn! She got a request for backdating. She says it is hard to get the request in writing.

If it were me I would tell them — just put the job specifications in writing and I will deal with it accordingly.

That way I am not incriminating myself, but I sure as hell will report their (&*#) to the Sec of State once I get that instruction sheet telling me what date to put in my journal and on the documents. That is fraud central.

So, yet another great tip from one of our great Notaries relayed to you by me… the messenger!

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