July 2019 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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July 19, 2019

The A.D.D. culture and your listing and notary marketing

Filed under: Your Notes Section — admin @ 4:39 am

When Notaries create their listings, they think about what they want to write, but rarely think about what the readers want to see. Notaries also rarely think about the mental state of the readers.

We live in the age of attention deficit disorder. Children used to have it, now those children have grown up, need Notaries and search for Notaries using SnapDocs which caters to people with attention issues.

People these days need more exercise, more oxygen to the brain and more of a clue, but that’s never going to happen. So, what’s the solution? Writing better Notary notes sections.

People searching for Notaries want these things.
1. You respond to texts in three seconds or less.
2. Your profile tells them everything they want to know in a format that makes them able to read it in three seconds or less.
3. You answer all of their questions by phone (if they still use those contraptions) in three seconds or less.

This means that if you advertise on 123notary, you will get emails, and phone calls but probably not texts as we do not want to automate texts. And you need to pick up that antiquated talkerizer machine (still called a phone) and answer asap. You need to answer emails asap as well. Don’t keep people waiting because they are the ADD generation. Millennials have ruined the world as we know it and when they are older they will probably destroy it altogether if they have the patience to figure out how (which is our saving grace because they have no patience). Additionally, they will probably feel too entitled to destroy the world themselves and will probably try to employ the help of others who have a work ethic.

Additionally, your notes section needs to cater to the ADD folks. If you put, “Hello my name is Susan and I am NNA certified” at the top of your notes, you are boring them with your name that they already know and your certification which 90% of people on 123notary already have. Bore them with something a little more unique about you and put it in a format that can be scanned in three seconds or less. Think from the perspective of an ADD(er). If I had ADD, or was an ADDs (not AIDS) patient, how would I want to look for a notary — and use George Costanza’s three second rule. Scan…. scan… scannn… oh there’s one — he is Pavaso certified, knows how to do deconstruction loans (sounds leftist), and likes saying hello to puppies (how cute!) Let’s hire him!

Next you need to appeal to the preferences of the hiring class who are increasingly millennials (not perennials unless you are a tax preparer). They want people who are not too manly, so don’t show off your barbell collection. Having a cute little dog in an outfit is good if you are a guy (especially if you do a lot of waving and selfies with the dog. And if you are a woman, try to have an app for your service because millennials with ADD need an APP otherwise no nOTTary deal.

My last point is don’t use foreign words. One Notary used the word “rolodex” and another used “rotary dial phone” in their profile. Some of the millennial users complained that they had to use a dictionary to understand some of the notes sections.

So, keep it simple and keep it quick. Remember to use George Constanza’s golden principle about the three second rule. Don’t bore people with the same old thing they read in other people’s notes section but emphasize what makes you different. Good luck and have us proofread and millennify your notes!

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July 18, 2019

A slogan for a notary on board with 123notary

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 4:37 am

We have a Notary called Terrie Gillett.

Here is my slogan:

“For a closer notarization every time!”

But, maybe this Notary can come up with a politically correct television commercial too that has nothing to do with Notary work. Perhaps there could be white guys flirting with women and then black men telling them that it is not cool And some men shaving and little boys play fighting and some adults who decide that boys must not be boys. We can challenge the whole concept of natural primate behavior and decide that God was wrong the way he designed us and that we know better. There are so many possibilities for this commercial. And then at the end of the commercial the idea of Notary work could be discussed.

The commercial idea might sound convoluted, but when you appeal to millennials, you have to address their ideas of social justice and then cringe when you think about what the world will be like when they run the senate if there is an America at that time any more.

On the converse side, you could have notaries fighting over a Notary seal and then say, “Notaries will be Notaries!” I think that would be more fun!

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July 17, 2019

Notary fortune cookie

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 4:35 am

I can imagine if there were a Chinese restaurant run by a Notary, in addition to having a lot of dishes with squid ink, there could be interesting messages in fortune cookies.

“Don’t quit business over stolen FedEx.”

That one is good. I had a client whose FedEx package got stolen. She wanted to quit, but I told her that stuff happens and you have to keep on keeping on.

“He who notarize without proper ID not have commission long.”

I know I know… just ask for another ID.

“Do not backdate unless have good time machine.”

Don’t try that one at home.

“Chinese philosophers need Notary too: Confucious, Mencious and Facetious. That last philosopher doesn’t exist in real life — I was just being facetious.”

“You will inherit many customer soon after you upgrade advertising.”

“Your dual tray printer will have long life — but, still invest in good warranty just in case.”

“Chinese notary tip – Notarize for your girlfriend so you can see her ID and find out her real age.”

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July 16, 2019

Notarizing at a sushi restaurant

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 4:29 am

PAUL: Hi, I need a Notary…

NOTARY: Yes, this is Golden Gate Notary, how can I assist?

PAUL: I need this affidavit notarized. Can you meet me for sushi at Yamazaki’s?

NOTARY: Hmmm. That’s a little bit of an unusual request. But, I guess I can make it.

(later on that day at the restaurant)

HOSTESS: Welcome to Yamazaki’s. Can I seat you?

NOTARY: Yes, I’m looking for Paul. Is he here?

HOSTESS: Oh yes, Paul is over there.

PAUL: Hi there. The quality of this place is like a roller coaster. They had to hire a new sushi chef because the last one didn’t cut it. Then they hired this hippie guy. He never came to work on time, and was normally stoned. But, he was exceptionally good at rolling things.

NOTARY: Good one! I’m looking at the menu. They have a bass, but no treble. Maybe I should bring that up with management.

PAUL: Hi, I haven’t decided what I want.

WAITRESS: I think you want the yellow tail collar.

PAUL: How did you know?

WAITRESS: Because I have collar ID and am psychic.

PAUL: What is it with psychic waitresses? Okay…. You talked me into it. I got one for you. What type of food do people eat on Chinese boats?

WAITRESS: Junk food – told you I was good at this.

PAUL: Okay, now here is my affidavit. Please try not to get any wasabi or ginger on it. Affidavit of Domicile. Where do I sign?

NOTARY: Right there….. good. Now I’m going go notarize it. Done.

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July 15, 2019

Notarizing for a “white” ethnostate

Right wing bloggers talk a lot about having a white ethno-state. The left considers it to be “racist”, yet never objects to the fact that most Asian countries and Indian reservations are racist ethno-states too. Why the double standards? Do those groups have a pass card when it comes to only being with their own people?

In any case, the notary was called in to a signing in Florida regarding transport of some goods to the ethno-state. There was an inventory of tractors, and some other farm equipment and seeds that were being shipped. However, the signer told the Notary a story about the history of the ethno-state. This story supposedly takes place in 2032 which for those of you who don’t keep track of time is in the future.

A bunch of white guys back in 2020 wanted to make their own state so they would have a comfortable place to raise their kids. But, the U.S. government did not afford them a reservation or make any allowances in their favor. So, they lobbied, and got together a larger group of people to see if they could get anywhere. Still, the answer was no. So much for white privilege. They had long discussions of how they defined “white” and how white you needed to be, whether or not you needed to be Christian, how Christian, and what percentage of non-whites would be allowed into their non-realistic little kingdom. There was also no agreement as to where this tiny kingdom would be although Vermont, Idaho, and Kentucky were mentioned Nobody could agree on anything. But, it didn’t matter because the government would not cooperate with their seemingly unreasonable request.

Then, the conversation continued by networking with White South Africans who are being persecuted for committing the crime of being white. No, not driving or walking while white… Farming while white. There are lots of youtube videos on this topic by the way. Whites were being murdered, raped, and tortured as a way to terrorize them into leaving their land so that lower income blacks could inherit this land which supposedly was theirs first contrary to actual history. The click speaking tribes were indigenous to the area. but, the Zulu’s and other tribes came from up North at the same time the Whites came up from down South in South Africa in the 16 and 1700’s. The Americans decided it was too dangerous to join hands with their South African brethren and decided to seek other options.

Then they decided to talk with members of an already existing white (or off-white) ethno-state… Israel. The Israelis filled these American’s minds with lots of realistic thoughts about what they needed to do, what they could do, what problems they would face, and how to deal with the problems. The basic message was to have a thriving economy, a great military and most important — lots of chutzbah. But, the Israelis said they could not help out as that would be bad for public relations. The Israelis recommended that the Americans find a donor and try to buy part of a Caribbean island near America and set up a state there. Somewhere with good Farmland, a seaport, airport, and good places to build properties.

So, a group of about 4000 Americans found a donor, bought some land in Haiti which was very fertile, set up shop, and created their own state. Life was exciting while people were setting up shop. Word on the street was, “We finally did it… I can’t believe we really did it.” But, then soon after, problems ensued. Many people wanted to have sushi, but nobody knew how to make it. So, they had to have someone from Japan come over. Next, they wanted Mexican food because they couldn’t live without it. So, they had Jose come over from California. Next, they realized that they could not operate their businesses efficiently without computer support, and none of the whites knew anything about computers, so they had some people from India come over. After that, people needed help with building new housing units and had to have several thousand people come from Mexico to help with that. Farm labor was needed to , so another several thousand people came over from bankrupt Haiti. As time went on, a profitable and popular resort was built near the seaport and an even greater demand for labor was created once again to be filled by people who did not meet the ethno-racial standards of the ethno-state.

The economy was going great, but at this point the population had gone from 100% white down to 12%. So, the whites had a discussion. They decided that since whites as a group had such a limited skill set that they couldn’t survive in the long run without all of the other cultural groups. They also decided that to attain their goal of being with their people, they would be better of going to a place like Poland, Ireland, or Wisconsin.

After a few more years, the whites felt discouraged, and found others to manage their businesses which were somewhat profitable, and the donors were making nice dividends on their investment for land in Haiti. The remaining whites decided that they would have their own segregated little part of town where whites could be with whites. After another year, there were only three whites left, and they were only seasonal as well.

The next year a census was taken of the state to see who was living there.

Women 6013
Men 8063
Blacks 8548
Mexican or Hispanic 5422
Asian 103
Whites 3* (the * means that they are seasonal residents)

So, due to these demographics (which make it hard to get a girlfriend), they changed the name of this country from being the Hispanola White Ethnostate to being the Hispanola “White” Ethonostate as there were less than .02% whites living there. And there were no Notaries there either, so you had to go to Florida whenever you wanted to get notarized which was a real pain.

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July 14, 2019

Notarization in Brooklyn in 2032

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 4:20 am

As time went on, the Yiddish speaking population in Brooklyn kept speaking Yiddish, but had so many children that they became a dominant population and “force du culture” in Brooklyn. It got to the point that the Chinese and Puerto Ricans integrated a lot of Yiddish into their spoken language.

NOTARY: Yes, you had a paper to be notarized?

WING XING: Yeah, I just flew in from Shanghai to La Guardia — what a schlep. And the Drukschlep I tried to hire for my daughter was late taking her to her party. Vey Ismeer. I need this affidavit of corporate capacity notarized. Do you want I should sign it in front of you?

NOTARY: Yes please.

WING XING: My son asked me when he would be having his Bar-Mitzvah. I tried to explain to him that we’re not Jewish. He said, “What do you mean we’re not Jewish? Now you tell me!”

NOTARY: It must be confusing. But, on a brighter note, if you were Jewish, you could no longer eat Shanghainese Xiao Leng Bao.

WING XING: I know that, and you know that, but try explaining that to little Timmie. He just doesn’t understand the Talmud, or Leviticus. Kids these days!

(next appointment)

MARITZA: Mira mira mira. We’ve known each othah for almost three years. We’re practically mishpucha (family).

NOTARY: No somos mishpucha. You’re a mensch

MARITZA: Who you callin’ a mensch? (angry tone)

NOTARY: That means your a friend, but you’re not quite family yet. Let me guess. Your kid is having his Bar Mitzvah soon too right?

MARITZA: Yeah, we’re still searching around for a Rabbi who is willing to do it for us. But, you know, according to the Talmud, if you have a maternal Jewish lineage, you are Jewish even if you were raised Catholic. I just did my 23 and me blood test for MT DNA and guess what?

NOTARY: What?

MARITZA: We’re chosen! I showed that info to the Rabbi as well as the section from the Babilonian Talmud and he is still giving us a hard time. I tried to explain to him that after the inquisition, many Sephardic Jews left Spain for Puerto Rico and converted to Catholicism. We are descended from those people, but we dance much better than they do, at least in my opinion.

NOTARY: No problem, I’ll notarize your blood test and affidavit. As crazy as this sounds, you are actually making sense. But, I gotta run.

MARITZA: Why?

NOTARY: I have to notarize paperwork for Tyrone’s Bar Mitzvah before his mother has a fit.

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July 13, 2019

Notary answering machines

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 3:18 am

As a Notary, what goes on your answering machine really matters. If someone just hears a beep, they will not even know if they dialed the correct number and that would not professional if that is your designated line. So, make sure to leave your name, company name, and the fact that you are a notary and/or signing agent.

That is important also for when I call you to confirm that your info is correct. If I cannot reach you but, it says in your answering machine that you are a signing agent, then I can mark you current. Otherwise I will have to hunt you down, or in some cases with free listings I might have to remove you.

ME: Hello, this is Jeremy from 123notary, are you still doing Notary work?

NOTARY: Yes, but I just got home from a movie about global climate change.

ME: How was it? Did you have to take your sweater off because the movie got too hot?

NOTARY: No, I had to add extra layers. The movie beginning was okay, the middle was too windy, but the ending was anti-climatic.

ME: Glad you had a good time. Stay on high ground just in case the poles melt.

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July 12, 2019

Forex Investment for Notaries: Tips and Tricks

Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — Tags: , — admin @ 9:50 pm

Forex Investment for Notaries: Tips and Tricks
Having a strong investment portfolio is more of a necessity than an option, especially when you are working fulltime as a notary. While there is a high demand for notarial services thanks to today’s market condition, it is still necessary to work towards securing a better future – and generating residual income along the way – with a strong portfolio.

One of the investment instruments you can use to strengthen your portfolio and generate more profit is forex. As one of the more robust investment instruments, forex trading offers plenty of opportunities to make money with its active, lively markets. You just have to know how to approach this investment opportunity correctly, and we have the best tips and tricks to get you started.

Do It Yourself
The best investments are the ones you manage yourself. This is because you retain complete control over how you invest your money, particularly in the forex market. It is easy to add day-trading into your daily routines. Now that forex trading platforms are available for more devices, you also have the option to trade anywhere and at any time.

Before jumping head first into the forex market, however, you need to take your time and master the basics. That brings us to our next tip, which is….

Study the Instrument
As an investment opportunity, the forex market is relatively easy to understand. You can go Long and Short – buy or sell – and make money in either direction. You just have to make sure that you are going with the market rather than against it.

Forex investment basics are easier than ever to find. You can turn to
Wall St. Nation for reviews of the best trading strategies and information about trading tips, and details about how to best manage your trading risks are also discussed thoroughly on this site.
After gathering information about the investment instrument and learning more about how to best approach the market, you can easily give forex trading a try.

Start a Demo Account
No, it is not the time to open a live trading account just yet. You want to test your understanding of the market using a demo account. Now is the best time to review some of the brokers you can engage online and compare their service offers.

With the right broker selected, download the trading software from the broker’s main website and choose Demo Account when registering. Configure your demo account to represent yourself as a trader.

If you are planning to make $2,000 in initial investments later in the future, your demo account should have $2,000 in margin as well. With this configuration, you can really test your trading strategy, measure your risk profile, and decide the right time to start trading life with more certainty.

One last tip to keep in mind: only trade with the amount of money you can afford to lose. Even after you have tested your approach and trading strategy, you still need to enter the market with extra care. Apply these tips we discussed in this article, however, and your journey into using forex as an investment instrument will be an enjoyable from the beginning.

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Why are the fees offered to us so low you ask?

Filed under: Carmen Towles — admin @ 3:15 am

Why are the fees offered to us so low?
….because many of you keep taking them. Some folks are new to the profession and don’t know any better. They want to get experience at any cost. Others know better but take them because they are desperate and can’t seem to find better paying work. Whatever camp you fall in you should not be taking low fees. Why? Because it hurts all of us!

Let me give you some history on our profession. Years ago, it use to matter to signing services/companies who they used. There use to be oral and/or written tests given before they would hire you. And with the exception of a few they paid better and more timely. But those days are behind us. Most of them don’t seem really to care. They are looking for the most green, inexperienced notary so they can maximize THEIR profits. Most title and escrow pay anywhere from 150 to 300 per signing and the signing services know this even if you don’t. The money is allocated from borrowers closing fees and the (title/escrow) typically aren’t paying it out of their title/escrow fees, they are charging it the borrowers. So signings don’t cost them anything for the most part. (there are exceptions to this but no need to get into that now, that’s for another blog). 🙂

Many of you ask me why they use signing services in the first place. Bottom line is they use them for convenience. It is easier to just give the service the assignment and let them find a notary. It frees them up and saves them an enormous amount of time to follow lender instructions and make sure all conditions are met so they can close. But over the years as things have slowed up and due to many notary errors many have abandoned signing services altogether. So contrary to what many folks think many of them do still use notaries directly. But the notary signing professions is still over run with companies that are just out to maximize their profits. And this is our fault.

I had a notary just call in the other day and told me that she was offered a sellers package from a signing service for 20.00. (you know they were receiving WAY more than that) 20.00 dollars people! Unbelievable. Just take a moment and let that sink in. That paltry fee is not even worth starting your car up for. Here in Callie we get 15.00 per signature and then if you have to print (god only knows how many pages) and then take them to FedEx or UPS to ship them back, it is just not worth the time, energy or paper.

Now the saddest and worst part about this situation is probably not the ridiculously low fee of 20.00 being offered, it is the fact that although the notary speaking with me refused, we know somebody will/or did accept it. For those of you that have followed my blogs and or spoken with me, I predicted long ago that as long as there are notaries that take low fees, they would persist and they would eventually get lower and lower. That day has come. I too was just recently offered 65.00 to go to a place that is about 40 minutes from me. There were 2 copies needed to be printed, signed and dropped all at FedEx or UPS all for for 65.00. I would never accept such an assignment, even if I were desperate.

I know that a lot of folks don’t really understand this business and the learning curve is quite high. I also know that other notaries once they start to figure things out they don’t share information on pricing/fees. But we need to work together. We need to educate each other that fees need to be fair and reasonable. We are all in this to make a profit. And you can’t make a profit if others are making/taking the majority of the money (signing services) and you are undercutting one another just to say you had some work.

Remember, the goal is to work direct! Marketing and advertising is key to your success in reaching those title and escrow that have had it with signing services. It is time to works smart not hard. Know your worth.

Just some food for thought…

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July 11, 2019

Is prioritizing a skill that a Notary should have?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 3:12 am

Notaries are not generally known for their skill at prioritizing. Making appointments, keeping appointments and printing documents, and excessive faxing are the skills that mobile notaries of today have. However, the day to day activities seem to take the full attention of most Notaries leaving little or no time for what I term as notarial self improvement.

123notary has learned that Notaries who invest in notary knowledge, getting reviews, and upgrading their notes section get disproportionately more work and make a lot more money than those who don’t. But, this takes work, time and effort. Learning Notary knowledge is hard. It requires hours of studying. Those who did well on my elite test studied around 30 hours in many cases. Getting reviews on the other hand is easier – it is just a question of asking (no pun intended) on a regular basis and making a habit of it. Revising your notes section is also hard. 123notary has a section in our blog called “your notes section” with dozens of blog articles on this topic. By reading those articles you will come up with dozens of ideas on how to make your notes more informative and pertinent. But, once again this takes time, and a lot of thought to do a good job. We can help too if you ask!

The feedback I get is that people are busy and will get around to self-improvement if they have time. Others feel their knowledge is good enough already and does not need to be updated. A few claim not to be full-time or serious about the industry in general and use that as an excuse. The bottom line is that improving their Notary career is not a priority.

Notaries with solid notary knowledge do make a lot more money than those who falsely claim to have solid knowledge which describes most Notaries. Most Notaries are at the 50% knowledge level which is not even good enough to be considered wishy-washy. People who hire Notaries do not ask for certifications or knowledge that much anymore, but their click behavior indicates that they favor people with exceptional knowledge and shun those with failing notary knowledge.

It might take 40 hours of work to do all of the self-help work you need to do as a Notary. Making time for that should be a priority because the time you spend upgrading your skills will pay for itself over the rest of your career. It might be worth hundreds of dollars per hour to do the upgrading work while only worth $30 per hour to do mundane tasks. So, why do most Notaries value low pay over high value work and then complain that they don’t make enough money? Elite Notaries get paid $14 more per signing, so rather than whining, why not become an elite member?

The bottom line is that Notaries get paid poorly and don’t make time to improve themselves because getting ahead is hardly ever a priority. Study is seen as drudgery. And for those who do see self-improvement as a priority, how can they find the time. The reasoning is that they will do it if they get time — but, time never comes. Why not do the less important tasks if you have time and put studying and self-improvement first? To find time to do certain things, you have to decide not to do other things. You also have to decide what things to do first.

If you start the day doing an hour of something that is critical and then do the less important things after — that is an effective way of prioritizing. If you set apart Tuesday to study and even if you get good work, you turn it down — that is prioritizing. I do not recommend turning away your bread and butter clients as you might lose them. But, low paying junk work you can turn down and you can ask your friends and family to hold on while you study. Serious people put their social network on hold regularly. Their friends don’t like it — but, without prioritizing, they would never get ahead. People in high positions are good at saying no to people so they can do more important tasks.

Those who remain their entire lives at the bottom of the totem-pole do so because they feel that the mundane tasks and people who bombard them daily and who are “in their face” are the priority because that is all they see. The trick is to analyze what is important in the long run and see things that are not in your face and understand their importance. The important thing to do is something that is not calling you every day, but something that is sitting in a book buried in your closet for example, or our Notary Public 101 course on our blog.

There are many ways to set priorities and schedule them into your life. The critical aspect is to make sure you identify your priorities and figure out how to schedule them so they get done first. Otherwise you will make a poor income for the rest of your life — should you indeed live so long.

The important lesson from this article is — To make prioritizing a priority!

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