JJ: Would you like to date a worldly and sophisticated gentleman?
WILONA: Burger King?
WILONA: Don’t be late!
JJ: And bring your notary seal.
WILONA: Nothing beats dining with royalty, especially in the ghetto.
WILONA: Burger KING dummy!
JJ: Oh yeah… I almost forgot. Oh, and speaking of forgetting, don’t forget your Notary seal just in case some random underachiever needs to be notarized.
WILONA: You’re the worst underachiever I’ve ever seen — I doubt anyone could top you!
JJ: You aparrantly haven’t met Chazzie yet.
(At Burger king)
CHAZZIE: What chu looking at JIVE turkey?
JJ: Who you callin a JIVE turkey?
CHAZZIE: You…. jive turkey
JJ: Well, I ain’t no jive turkey but you are.
WHITE GUY: I have a little gift for you Chazzie.
JJ: Aren’t you in the wrong neighborhood? (clearing throat repeatedly)
WHITE GUY: I was near by and decided to stop in for a burger.
WILONA: He’s not the only one. So, what’s the gift?
WHITE GUY: It’s a bumper sticker that says, “Honk, if you love honkies.”
CHAZZIE: Well I ain’t gonna be honking any time soon.
WHITE GUY: And why is that?
CHAZZIE: Because my damn horn is broken, fool.
WILONA: Don’t listen to him. That’s not the reason. The damn fool doesn’t even own a car. Ha ha!!! (slaps her knee laughing)
CHAZZIE: Okay, jokes aside, or should I say, jokes on me aside, I have an Affidavit of Squatter’s intent to be signed, you dig?
WILONA: If you would go to the basement, you’d have plenty to dig, and you might even be able to dredge out your own apartment under the radar that nobody would know about.
JJ: Nobody except for the rats, that is…
WILONA: Okay, just sign right here, and repeat after me… I Chazzie Johnson swear that the contents of this Affidavit of squatter’s intent is true and correct to the best of m knowledge, as spotty as my knowledge may be.
CHAZZIE: I Chazzie Johnson swear that the contents of this Affidavit of Squatter’s intent is true and correct to the best of my knowledge — Amen!
JJ: Close enough. Now stamp the damn form so I can get on dining with royalty. Ain’t there supposed to be a moat here? We are in a castle, right?
WILONA: I’ll throw you in the moat later, but first… enjoy your meal. And Chazzie, what was yo mama thinking when she named you?
JJ: I was there at the time. His mother was trying to say Jazzie, but she was so tired, that the only words that came out her mouth were Chazzie… my baby.
WILONA: Shut up fool, you hadn’t even been born yet.
JJ: I know…
CHAZZIE: Thanks Wilona. You saved my life
WILONA: If you call that a life.
JJ: Well, you know what I say — DYNOMITE!>