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May 11, 2019

A new category in the Notary census

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:13 am

The traditional categories on Notary census counts for race would be non-hispanic-white, hispanic white, non-hispanic white, black or “african-american”, hispanic, asian or pacific islander, etc. But, now due to the cultural divide in the United States, there is a huge divide between those who are white, and those who are “huwight.” And I assure you that those who identify as being hwite or huwight are not hispanic… although these days you never know, especially in remote parts of Texas (yee-haw…)

If you live in a large urban center, say politically correct things and enjoy having sushi on the weekends, you are white.

But, if you drive a pick up, listen to country music, vote republican, and have a selection of sawed off shot guns and rifles bolted to the back window of your pick up truck, it is more likely (although sometimes it can be ambiguous) that you are definitely “huwight.” If you refuse to notarize on Sundays, you are definitely huwite. If you take offense when someone calls you while you are having dinner or after 7:45 in the evening or if you are at a baseball game (how is the caller supposed to know?) then you are most certainly huwite.

If your family escaped from Fidel Castro, or the political tyranny of Argentina, you look Anglo, but racially identify only with brown skinned races for cultural reasons, first of all you fail to understand the difference between culture and race, and secondly… you are white… hispanic white. But, racially hispanic white is still just white with a slightly different accent and cultural heritage. The DNA still matches despite all of your inane and illogical claims of being a different race (this one is for my chiropractor.)

If you are Cuban, Republican and living in Florida (running for policical or notorial office), and are confused about how to identify yourself on the Notary census form. Just take this simple test. Which statement sounds more like something you would say?

1. My grandparents were hard working immigrants who played by the rules and did their best to learn the language and fit in.
2. I’ve noticed that the Chinese pot sticker dumplings are a lot more flavorful up in Dallas than this rinky dinky town we live in down here.
3. What did you say about my daddy?

If you picked one, then your name is Marco Rubio, you play by the rules, most people like you, and you are likely to be our nation’s next leader, and you will probably declare “arroz con pollo” to be our next national dish to please your Cuban grandparents. And I’m cool with that providing you don’t over do the garlic.

All right folks, that about sums it up!

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2 Comments »

  1. LOL

    Comment by Arlene Mills — June 22, 2019 @ 10:49 am

  2. Apparently I am a proud Huwight man! Thanks for setting me straight!

    Comment by Bryce Webb — July 25, 2019 @ 12:44 pm

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