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April 18, 2017

What lies beneath (your Notary stamp)

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 8:11 am

What Lies Beneath (Your Notary Stamp)
Most of us probably use a self inking notary stamp. That’s the one with the little ink pad that slides out to be re-inked or replaced. Which to do? Re-inking is cheaper, but, eventually; after many uses the stamp pad takes an impression. The die does not contact the pad enough to transfer the ink. Re-inking is OK for a while, but it is not a lifetime solution – buy a few replacement pads. But, as oft the case – I digress.

Having digressed on one thing my reader expects me to digress again. So…… I won’t disappoint. Did you, take out the inkpad and clean the rubber die – in the last year? Please do so. I use an old toothbrush (a soft one) with a few drops of Dawn dishwashing detergent. It’s good enough to clean the oil off of ducks, so it probably won’t irritate you or your precious stamp die. Wait an hour for everything to dry prior to reassembly.

OK reader, I’ve blathered on long enough. Now, to the title issue. But first a side note about Jeremy. He gripes and complains (to me!) often that the title of my articles do not let him “at a glance” know what the blog entry is about. Just to drive him extra nuts (as if he was not nutty enough already) – I added, the two somewhat re/un related paragraphs above. Perhaps our fearless leader will count this as a third irritating paragraph also!

So, without further ado (whatever that is) let’s think about “what lies beneath” the document you are about to stamp. Most of the time it is either other paperwork, or the table top. Both are relevant to making a proper image with your stamper. Yes, it is a rather mundane aspect of notarization. However, many are the loan packages that admonish you to affix a clear and readable stamp. In addition to you personally, that thousandth of a penny bit of ink must also “make a good impression”.

Stamping on a pile of paper is often the case, especially when they only provide to you a 9 X 12 inch area for your “workplace”. You need a “flat and level” area beneath the target location. The documents under the one you are about to stamp might not meet that requirement. Are there paperclips or those annoying little stickers on the pages below? If so your stamp will not image perfectly. If it’s a “piggy” the pile of paper will be somewhat “spongy”, and retract (compress) from the force of the stamp. The pile might also be irregular due to interspersed letter and legal pages. OK, you got it – you need to make sure the target is flat and even when working atop a pile of documents.

I prefer to work on the table top – if it qualifies, or can be made to qualify. Glass or smooth plastic is “almost” always great. Wood can have “grain” and provide an irregular surface. You will quickly find that irregular spot. It lies directly beneath where the year of your commission expiration date “would” have stamped clearly. But, alas, the last two digits of the year are not readable because there was a “dip” in the wood – exactly in the wrong place. You certainly would not attempt to stamp with the page laying on a concrete surface – far too rough. Sure, that’s obvious – but is the table you have under the page really smooth?

The solution is simple. You already have your “work order” and perhaps a printout of a map to the location. Those are “scrap” paper. Select what “appears” to be a good “stamping surface” and place (face down) two or three sheets of your scrap paper. Place the document to be stamped on your scrap paper and stamp. You are not working “on the pile” nor directly on the tabletop. Even a great looking glass table may have a tiny chip or two – and rest assured your stamp image would line up with that flaw.

Thus, even with a well maintained stamper, it’s possible due to environmental conditions to make a crappy impression. Call that “the mark of the Rookie”. My well seasoned (Tabasco Sauce?) readers probably know all of the above. The issue here is to put “best practices” into play – each and every (redundant) time. I know that you know all of the wordy ranting above. It is my hope that dwelling upon what you already know will remind you to “do the right thing” – and leave a clear readable stamp every time. Yes, it takes a few more moments of effort to ensure perfection, however it is those perfectionists that get the repeat calls.

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April 13, 2017

The Power of Attorney was Rejected

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Popular on Facebook (shares) — Tags: — admin @ 9:15 pm

Booking the Job
It’s all too common for the public to think of notaries as being sources of free legal advice. “But you know so much more about these things than we do”. And, more to the point: “Will this Power of Attorney allow me to access the safe deposit box?” The first statement was flattery, hoping to “open the notary up a little”, the second an invitation for you to provide a legal opinion. I keep reflecting on the words of the Chief Clerk at the New York County Clerk office. “You check the ID, give an oath, and notarize nothing more”. Foolishly, I asked a “can I also” question. “If you don’t understand – nothing more – perhaps you should hand in your commission now”.

Recalling the stern admonition from the Chief Clerk, I tell my client that I am not permitted to answer their question. What I can do is check the Power of Attorney to see that the Principal, Agent, Monitor and Successor Agent areas are completed correctly. I can also check to see if specific powers were initialed correctly. As a professional notary, I add embossing to each notarization, a requirement for use in some jurisdictions and courts. Of course my clients blithely ignore my words. They again ask: “Will this Power of Attorney allow me to access the safe deposit box?”

The question falls under the “suitability for use” category. Will what I have do what I want? My consistent answer is first “I don’t know” and second: Only the ultimate recipient is able to answer that question. That entity, be it person or organization makes that decision. I can proceed now to notarize the Principal and the Agent (there were no Monitors or Successor Agents). Or, you can submit the blank Power of Attorney form to the “ultimate recipient” and ask them if your submission will accomplish the purpose you intend. As is usually the case; my client did decide to go ahead with the Power of Attorney they downloaded from the Internet.

Processing the Job
Fee was collected prior to meeting in the reception area of the prison. The incarcerated was to be the Principal, my client the Agent. I had mentioned the need for proper ID with my client; he showed me two driver licenses. One was his, the other for the prisoner. We proceed with the facility entry procedures; only carrying into the secure area the Power of Attorney and a pen. About an hour and a half later, Power of Attorney properly notarized for both Principal and Agent; after we retrieve personal property from the check-in lockers. They really don’t like an embosser going into the facility.

Aftermath (failure)
As related to me by my client: The safe deposit box clerk sent me to see an officer. Sorry, that form is not acceptable to the bank. We have our own Power of Attorney form and its use is required. I see you had it notarized, however, the wording does not meet bank requirements. Just a moment, here it is; this is the form you need to complete and have notarized. That clearly was not what my client wanted to hear. The prison is located two counties north of Manhattan.
So, what went wrong? As is often the case, there was blame enough for both of us. The client assumed a Power of Attorney is a Power of Attorney; any of them will do anything. I was only told that notarization of a Power of Attorney was required at an upstate prison. With my mind on the ID issue, I did not press for how the document would be used. It seems “a bit much” to ask the Agent what powers were to be granted by the Principal. I “could” have asked “how would it be used”? It ended up as a redo, I lowered to 2/3 fee; supposedly with the right Power of Attorney form, from the bank; all went well.

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March 28, 2017

Get the Special Jobs

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 8:03 am

I have one scheduled for the end of this week. (I guess that is somewhat meaningless as you don’t know when this is being written). Sorry. A special job is one that is: different, high paying, and probably requires integrity, experience and problem solving skills. As to those three requirements; they are attributes shared by my Notary Public readers, and to a lesser extent: me. I communicate with many of my peers; the vast majorities are “by the book”.

Back to integrity, experience and problem solving skills. As Jeremy has often commented, most Notaries laud themselves highly in their notes section. They are writing their own “feedback” and not writing about themselves. Sure, experience counts; and you probably have a lot. But, stressing the trivial in a boastful manner is not the answer. “I have completed thirty thousand loan packages without missing a single initial.” When I read that I think “You’re about due”.

Integrity can be demonstrated or advertised. It’s most often demonstrated by what you write in your communications. Do you stress the need for proper ID? Though at first thought it sounds improper to purchase proof of your integrity – it makes sense to do so. You pay a fee to earn the equivalent of the “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval”. Most likely those with that seal had to pay for their product to be tested. Well, you want to “advertise” your integrity; so have yourself tested by NON-Notary based certification authorities. Your local Chamber of Commerce and the Better Business Bureau are obvious first choices. You’re not buying “integrity” – you are having your integrity checked and verified by already trusted authorities. To your prospective clients – if “they” say you are OK, “that’s good enough for me”.

My Special Job is about 50 miles away, more distant than I usually travel. It’s really a very simple assignment. I receive a package with a deed and a certified check. The deed gets notarized in the distant county (hmmmm, better be sure which it is) – and when that is completed the affiant gets the check. There can be no mistakes. Even though there is but one notarization, the distance puts it into the local area piggyback price range. I did suggest – yup – 123notary.com for a closer notary. Reply: I like your credentials.

This was not a repeat customer so there was no established trust. I was selected on the basis of my web site and my 123notary.com notes/reviews. By documenting qualifications, my client had no issue with “up front” PayPal; my requirement for any distant assignments. The client is paying over triple what an “unknown local notary” would charge. So I get to ride in the woods for a couple of hours, because he trusted the agencies that “vouched” for me.

Rock solid and reliable (in the mind of your prospective client) accreditations are what rings the bell. Take hiring a babysitter as an analogy. The baby is clearly more precious than any certified check. If at I-Baby-Sit.com there is the statement: no baby ever fell out the window or drank bleach in my care – would you want to hire them? Probably not. However, kudos from “name” associations that do more than collect a membership fee – that is what wins. Imagine yourself on “their” side. What would give you the confidence to prepay and trust a high dollar slightly unusual situation to a person you never met? Answer that, then apply it to yourself.

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March 7, 2017

When you really don’t wanna take the job

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Popular on Facebook (A little) — Tags: — admin @ 9:25 pm

When You Really Don’t Wanna – Jackpot !!
Most of the time, like you, I look forward to the phone ringing with an assignment. But, not all the time. Today I had some reserved theatre tickets and really wanted to see the show. I had intended to shut off the cell phone, but reconsidered as I was hoping to hear from someone regarding personal matters. The tickets were for early afternoon, and the show was relatively close by.

Ring, Ring. We have an emergency, the assigned notary did not show, and our client is furious, can you be at their location within the hour? The CD is with the client. Please help us. OK, I say, I understand. But, I have theatre tickets for today and did not plan to work today. If I accept your assignment I will miss the show. This is a very high priority client – forget about the show – we need you!
They offer an amount at the high end of the normal edoc range. I tell them their offer is fair but I would have to add an additional xxx$ for the lost use of my tickets. If you have not been to a NYC Broadway show – tickets are much more than an edoc fee. Any edoc fee. Somewhat stunned, I get the “we will have to get back to you”.

About ten minutes later another call for a structured settlement. Again the “urgent” routine – and, much to my surprise – another story of a notary “no show”. The conversation goes exactly the same way as the edoc discussion. Fortunately, they want a time slot toward the end of the show. The same fee discussion takes place – again with a gasp about the high cost of NYC Broadway shows. But, this one was different – they wanted to close the deal immediately. I told them the fee was in advance and once paid I would only then be committed to their assignment. Within five minutes the fee was in my account, bye bye Broadway. They email me the slim package immediately and I confirm that the documents were printed. Previously, as with the edoc job, the ID requirements were discussed and guaranteed.

Ring, Ring. It’s the edoc job calling back to accept the way greater than normal fee. Hmmm, both jobs are now paying for my “not to be used tickets”. And again, as per my requirement; the fee is in my PayPal account. It’s good that the edoc and the structured settlement times did not conflict; and there would be adequate time to go from the edoc to the other.

This is getting really weird. Will there be a third “emergency – notary no show” in the same day – with the caller having Very Deep Pockets? Nope, that did not happen. But, two did, much to my astonishment. The tickets I had in hand went to some very nice neighbors, who were delighted to change their plans for the same day. They would see the show for free, and so would I; as I was being paid twice for the same tickets!

So, what’s the “take away” from my rantings? Well, my message is that if you “can” do the job – but, for some reason – “don’t wanna” – let the caller know your situation. Tell them honestly and frankly that logistically you are able – but have a specific reason to not want the assignment. Of course some reasons cannot be bought for any amount of money. Family commitments, medical plans, and similar obligations are not for sale. But, the tickets were going to be available again; it was not a “now or never”.

Sure – I got lucky. Rare is the windfall that creates a high dollar “double dip” fee expansion. But the concept of being “flexible” is my theme message. I know, our clients use that word to, in lieu of more pay, compliment us for waiting 5 hours for the docs to be ready. Stranger still is their inability to, in New York City of all places; not to find a base fee notary. Perhaps because it was a “go away” Friday of a holiday weekend?

Whatever their reasons, nothing would have happened if I brushed them off with a “Sorry, I’m booked”. That was not the case. I had something that I “wanted” to do; but did not “have to do”. Letting the caller know, frankly and honestly your situation (within reasonable limits) – allows them the option to bail out or to “work with you”. It was obvious to the callers that a routine fee would not work. Though very extreme, both were willing to cause me to change my plans, without incurring a severe financial hardship. A week later I will see the show, have earned two fees; and have enough left over to purchase a pair of tickets for a different show!

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February 28, 2017

The Notary of the Future

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: — admin @ 9:12 pm

Evolution moves slowly. It takes a really long time for the process of natural selection to propagate a random DNA change. Evolution is one of the few things that take longer than waiting for Jeremy to reply to an email. However, there is good news; the changes coming will greatly benefit notaries. There is much to look forward to, unfortunately we won’t be here. As you know evolution favors genetic changes that facilitate adaptation to the environment. Well, the notary environment will be greatly different a few eons from now. Let’s take a look.

In that distant future, an optimum blend of evolution and cyber technology will create Notary. Free from the constraints of gender, race, and other trivial aspects of current human existence, the species Notary will be superbly adapted to thrive. No, it’s not a version of a “repair job” that created the “six million dollar person” – it happens naturally. Our future includes a few “implants”; necessary to enhance a biological organism to include non-organic components.

Above all other considerations, the Notary will be complete, and superbly equipped to perform without carrying any “baggage”. Everything is now built in. Did you ever get a rush request and not have your stamp or embosser with you? Our future Notary has additional appendages, similar to arms; one for multiple stamps, the other for embossers. Bio molecular engineering converts food, not into the current waste product; but rather into paper for the built in printer. As good as these capabilities are, they are nothing compared to Stream connectivity.

That connectivity, think of WiFi on steroids; connects the Notary to literally everything. ID is now merely touching the client – for instant DNA analysis and identity confirmation. That last minute change to the vesting on the Deed prints automatically; the data Stream knows all. Gone are the text messages and phone calls. The Stream selects the nearest Notary, and with GPS like precision directs them where needed. No wait for pay, enhanced PayPal got ya covered.

While the archaic institutions still require paper, an advance copy of the completed loan documents is sent via the Stream. The notarization proceeds via shared image and mental document signing, but the old world “face to face” propinquity requirement remains. The Stream replaces the scan and email of days gone by – now powered by mental energy. The Notary printer still has to produce the paperwork, signed, stamped, and embossed as usual. Perhaps in a few more eons the recorders at county clerk offices will trust the Stream and not require paper.

I had said the Notary was free from trivial aspects of our current human existence. However, humanity will retain brain functions. Our future Notary will not be devoid of compassion, empathy or the desire to excel. Those traits, inherited from the days when notaries were among the first “public officials” must remain. Nurture those traits within yourself, have them grow.

I saved getting adequate work for last. The virus of cattle call entities will have consumed themselves in a death spiral of greed and deceit long ago; probably in “our” time. In our future I see a “balanced” world. In that world, as we are human; we have both a right and a duty to exist. Natural selection will create an optimal quantity of the highly specialized entity known as the Notary. We can prepare now for the future by passing on to the next generation the values we hold dear. We cannot rely on external forces, evolution or technology to pass along integrity. The Notary of the future must inherit those traits from us. Each of us, after thousands of generations will be a part of each Notary of the Future, are your actions worthy of being passed on?

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February 23, 2017

Things that Work Well

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 9:10 pm

In this installment I’m going to share a variety of things that work well. Most of them will be new to you, but I have been using them for years. Almost all are available on Amazon, there you will find additional information, and reviews by others; or a Google search.

Bear Grease – This is my favorite leather conditioner. Smear on a thin layer and allow to dry overnight in a warm area. It soaks in and renews old, stiff leather to flexible softness. It will darken light colors. Also works to waterproof the seams of leather boots.

Magic Lube – What Bear Grease is to leather, Magic Lube is to rubber and plastic. My Sony Shower Radio uses a plastic flexible membrane for the controls. It’s a fine radio, but many have complained about the membranes cracking from frequent use. I put on a light layer of Magic Lube once or twice a year to prevent this. Also perfect for rubber “O” rings and hose gaskets.

Sangean CL-100 – Weather alert radio. One of the very few that processes the “shut off” signal so the radio goes silent after the alert audio, most others require you to go to the radio to silence it after alert. If you miss the alert, a red light comes on and the window scrolls the alert message.

Simichrome All Metal Polish – Just a tiny bit is needed, get the small tube. Wipe it on, let item set for a few minutes; polish it off with a clean cloth. Powerful stuff, shield eyes, wash hands.
Kidde KN-COPP-B-LPM Battery-Operated Carbon Monoxide Alarm – The alarm woke us in the middle of the night. We woke groggy with headaches and called the fire department after opening windows. Fire Dept confirmed heating system in basement malfunctioned.

Gerber EAB Lite Pocket Knife – Tiny and always super sharp, it holds a “contractor type” razor blade that is replaceable using a dime to remove the blade holding screw.

Swiss Quick Disconnect Key Chain (http://www.countycomm.com/swisskey.html) – Allows me to remove ignition key from keychain, similar items on other sites not well made.

ROR Lens Cleaner – Safe for even the finest optical coatings, leaves no residue. Also cleans the screen protector on my cell phone to a glossy and somewhat fingerprint resistant shine.

Samsung Galaxy S5 Cell Phone – the last Galaxy that allows changing the battery and also adding a memory chip. Waterproof, battery lasts me 2-3 days with mobile notary use.

Smash Mute – A big red Mute button that mutes your TV. It learns the “mute” code from your existing TV remote. Long range powerful signal and very easy to find / use.

Tivo ( http://weaknees.com ) – Magical machine that can replace cable box. Pauses live TV, can search and record upcoming shows that meet your criteria, eg: record all starring James Stewart.

The Executioner Fly Swat Wasp Bug Mosquito Swatter Zapper – Looks like a tennis racket, but high voltage wires zap insects instantly. Had a large hornet in our camper, one touch with this and problem solved. Pro model stronger with 2 “C” cells, regular model smaller uses 2 AA cells.

Let me know what worked for you, your feedback would be appreciated.

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February 21, 2017

Power of Attorney of the Future

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: — admin @ 9:09 pm

The Legal professional moves at a snail pace. On the other hand the Medical profession has advances at rocket speed. This will eventually lead to the Power of Attorney of the Future, mainly due to advances in medical procedures. Unfortunately the Legal profession, unable to keep up, will inherit some unexpected situations.

Consider the Power of Attorney of the Future. Rather than the current procedure of giving a piece of notarized paper from Principal to Agent, an alternative will be forthcoming. The mind of the Principal can be transferred into the Agent! Of course this will not be a one-way street. The reverse transfer of Agent to Principal will also occur. Thus both the Principal as well as the Agent will each have two separate mental “memory banks” sharing their brains.

There will, of course, be no need for a Monitor assigned via the Power of Attorney, but that can be done. It might get a bit crowded for the Monitor who will have Monitor brain, Principal brain and Agent brain – all sharing that cranial cavity.

As the Power of Attorney form is a delegation of authority instrument, there is a need for a “pecking order” of brain function within each individual. For the Monitor, that person’s original brain is “boss”. For the Agent the Principal brain is boss, with the Agent’s original brain in a subservient capacity. After all, the Principal should always have the last word. For the Principal their original equipment is boss, with the Agent brain and the Monitor sharing second place.

If the above paragraph is clear to you please leave a comment about this blog explaining your understanding to me. Whatever.

Gone is the tedious need for communications. As the brain “essence” exists in multiple bodies, a telepathic bond is created, either in duo or triplicate. No, I am not going to even consider the effect or pecking order of Successor Agents. Even worse than Successor Agents would be multiple Agents, who might or might not have to act in unison. Ye gads this is getting complex.

The legal ramifications affect even the humble notary. With multiple “personalities” and with them having “legal authority” precisely how is the oath to be given and to whom? Of course with this much confusion there will be plenty for the lawyers (who thrive on ambiguity) to work with. Can the notary notarize the direct signature of the Principal when the body of the Agent matches the presented ID? The Power of Attorney currently allows “acting in behalf of” – but when the thoughts are of the Principal, via the body of the Agent – perhaps the need for the currently required Power of Attorney signature verbiage becomes unnecessary.

Not complicated enough? Consider the Principal granting different Power of Attorney rights to multiple Agents for varying purposes. Throw in a few Successor Agents, perhaps a Monitor or two and the poor Principal is afflicted with a real “head full” of personalities.

Of course it will be the task of the notary public to resolve all of the conflicts and “do the right thing”. To really understand the situation and notarize properly the notary will have to adopt the psychs (all of them) of the person before them with the ID. That might take a bit of room in the skull of the notary. My only suggestion is for notaries to prepare for the future by considering a lobotomy to make some additional room for the personalities involved. As you can probably tell from the above, I’ve had the surgery; more than half of my brain was removed. I’m ready!

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February 10, 2017

A Notary goes Public on Shark Tank with Shazamdocs!

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Sit-Coms — admin @ 9:06 pm

First up into the tank: A way to keep records on how long companies take to send electronic documents.

NOTARY: Hi, Sharks. I’m Jeremy. And I’m asking for $200,000 for twenty percent of my company, Shazamdocs. Sharks, there’s one thing that matters in life more than looking as dapper as Mr. Wonderful here.

MR. WONDERFUL: He knows of what he speaks.

LAURIE: He’s kissing up and I’m throwing up.

MR. WONDERFUL: Hush. Grab a breath mint.

NOTARY: What matters in life, whether you’re sharks or whether you’re a notary, is knowing when you’ll be paid!

MR. WONDERFUL: You’re speaking my language, son. The language of luv… of money.

NOTARY: The database on Shazamdocs monitors how long companies take to send electronic documents, and… by virtue of our exclusive algorithms… computes the average amount of time it takes to get paid. No longer will you have to waste your precious time and resources hitching yourself to companies that drag their feet when it comes to upholding their end of the transactions.

DAYMOND: Feet dragging is a drag.

NOTARY: We’re like Yelp for notaries. With your help, sharks, we’ll get this in the homes of notaries throughout the country, and after that, the world! Who wants to show this notary their own seal… of approval?

ROBERT: You, yourself, said you’re like Yelp for notaries. There’s nothing proprietary about that.

NOTARY: I’ve applied for a utility patent.

CUBAN: You’ll never get it.

LAURIE: Mark.

CUBAN: What? He’s living a pipe dream. What’s to stop anybody from charting the records of companies to see how quickly they pay their bills?

NOTARY: Nobody does it like we do.

CUBAN: I’m out.

MR. WONDERUL: Ouch.

CUBAN: What about you, Kevin? You said the guy knows of what he speaks.

MR. WONDERFUL: That’s when he was complimenting my impossibly dapper qualities.

LAURIE: You got the impossibly part right.

ROBERT: What do you sell the program for and what are your sales?

NOTARY: I sell it with an annual subscription rate of 19.95. And we’re in pre-launch.

DAYMOND: Uh-oh. So you’ve made bupkis.

ROBERT: Daymond, I didn’t even know you were Jewish!

MR. WONDERFUL: I’ll make you an offer. I don’t know what you’re worth, I’m taking a heck of a risk, but I’ll go on the ride with you. There are plenty of notaries who need greater assurances they’ll get paid faster. But $200,000 at twenty percent assumes a value of a million dollars. You’re not there yet. I’ll give you the $200,000. But I want forty percent of the business.

CUBAN/DAYMOND/ROBERT: Oy.

LAURIE: You’re all Jewish now.

MR. WONDERFUL: I hear the other sharks flapping their gums, but I don’t hear anyone putting their money where their yappers are. I made you an offer, Jeremy. What do you say?

NOTARY: I appreciate the offer, Mr. Wonderful.

ROBERT: If I brought a notary in, would you swear to that?

NOTARY: But with all due respect, that’s giving up too much equity. I’d like to hear what the remaining sharks have to say.

LAURIE: As you know, Jeremy, as I’ve said many times on Shark Tank. I can tell when something’s a zero. And I can tell when something’s a hero. And this… is most definitely… a thirty. Better than zero, but nowhere near a hero. I’m out.

ROBERT: Laurie, you were toying with the man.

LAURIE: No, I wasn’t. I’m just being honest.

ROBERT: Well, Jeremy, I see nothing proprietary here. And I’m not a big notary guy. If I ever need you to witness something, I’ll be a customer. But I don’t see it as an investment. I’m out.

CUBAN: So that leaves Mr. Wonderful’s less than wonderful offer. And Mr.Daymond.

DAYMOND: I hate it when companies drag their feet before paying somebody what they’re owed, so I’m with you there.

JEREMY: Would you consider joining up with Mr. Wonderful?

DAYMOND: As much as it pains me to say it, I might do the deal with Kevin, if he’s up for it.

MR. WONDERFUL: I’d do that deal. But, Jeremy, you’d be getting two sharks.

JEREMY: Would the both of you consider the deal for… thirty percent equity?

DAYMOND: 100 K each at fifteen percent each? What do you think, Kevin?

MR. WONDERFUL: I’ll do it with one contingency. That we test the accuracy of your program on us. If your program can tell us how long it’ll be before we pay you the 200 K, I’m in.

DAYMOND: Me too.

JEREMY: Right away?

MR. WONDERFUL: Sorry. I would’ve paid you after hell freezes over.

DAYMOND: Me too.

MR. WONDERFUL/DAYMOND: I’m out!

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February 8, 2017

Unsubscribe

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 1:40 am

Unsubscribe
Unlike the oft ignored “Do Not Call list” there is no similar central location where you can post your email address to request no unsolicited email. However, as is my custom; first I lament about the problem, and then strive to submit a workable solution. Most of my junk mail is filtered by settings with my email service provider, not my Internet Service Provider. My ISP – Time Warner Cable does a “barely fair” job of eliminating junk mail – much slips through. It is my email “front end” that really makes the difference.

That email service provider, formerly called Pobox.com is now known as Fastmail.com. The takeover has actually improved service. I signed up with Pobox.com in September of 1995 and took kene@pobox.com as my email address. It remains the same, though I have gone thru a few ISPs in the two plus decades. The spam filtering on fastmail is very flexible. However, a few seem to slip through, about one in a hundred. That gives me two options to resolve. The first is to add the sender to one of my spam filters, a very easy to do option. The second is to ask that my email address be removed. I use a not so subtle response, that does work, and work very well.

I *never* click on the “unsubscribe” link, so common in emails. That possibly takes you to a virus laden site! Never click links from “strangers”. Do you really want to test your antivirus protection – often? I don’t. So I “reply” to their email with the following keyboard macro:
Unsubscribe

Please remove me from your mailing list and do not send any additional email to my email address.

The email address to remove is: kene@pobox.com AND any other address you used to send email to me.

Wondering why I did not click the “unsubscribe” link?
It’s way too dangerous to click links in unsolicited email.
It’s much safer to just reply email – hence this unsubscribe request.
The National Can-Spam Act REQUIRES you to remove my email address and not send email to me again after this notice.
Violations WILL be tracked and reported to Federal Authorities who LOVE to issue violation fines.

This has worked for me, the usual response has been “your email has been removed” or similar. Some may feel it’s a bit “over the top” – but they “started it”. I value my time and don’t want my cell phone to indicate “incoming” only to find it a repetition of previously deleted junk mail. It’s also easier to use my macro reply via http://keyboardexpress.com than editing my spam filter.
Take control of YOUR inbox. Make THEM remove you.

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February 5, 2017

A Tough Call

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 1:38 am

A Tough Call
It was to be a routine edoc from a repeat client. Once I agreed to the time and location the PayPal was in my account in minutes – they wanted it on my calendar. Callers are told by me that jobs go on my calendar when payment is received. I used to say that I don’t print until payment is received – that caused several holes to develop in my calendar. Admittedly, I look a lot older, but think myself a bit wiser for the years doing this stuff.

With payment in the bank, and work order in my inbox; I printout a map of where I would be going and also program the address into my GPS. Usually the GPS is reliable, but sometimes when the clouds are thick, the signal fades in the canyons between Manhattan skyscrapers.

I call the affiant to introduce myself, and to confirm that the phone number, address and meeting time are correct. As is my custom I ask what form of ID will be presented. Heads Up for this next aspect: I ask precisely what name is on that ID, and the exact spelling. My name is Alpha Beta Kappa, however I only use Beta Kappa; I dislike my Alpha first name. Ding, ding, alarms go off – a quick look at the work order – the affiant is listed as Beta Kappa. Next, I ask the most important question: What is your Legal Name? Grudgingly I am told it’s Alpha Beta Kappa. Next I make a mistake. Do you have any Government Issued Photo ID with only the name Beta Kappa? Yes, that is the full name on my New York City issued transit card.

I said I made a mistake, and I did. Once the affiant said their legal name; there was no purpose in asking if ID existed with the omission of the first name. Oops. Affiant confirms appointment and says will provide me with the NYC – middle and last name ID. Boo Boo number two – I confirm the appointment, “secure” in the knowledge that ID matching the work order exists.

I reflect on the conversation and realized that the action plan was wrong. Accepting ID that had only middle and last; even though it matched the docs – would be wrong. I had Knowledge that the ID was not representative of the affiant’s true name. As expected, when talking to Title; she had taken title in the Beta Kappa name – and that was on the refi. A sharp person at Title suggested I notarize her BK with an AKA for the ABK name. Sorry, I’m not notarizing an AKA on the Mortgage or any other document. An AKA form which she signs as ABK and accepts BK is fine; but not the other way around.

Title, my regular client, knows, and I also know; a Quit Claim to fix the vesting is the solution – but that takes time and the Condo probably will not tolerate a delay. I’m on the high moral ground – it’s simply not the right name. The Broker calls. Broker tells me he spoke to the affiant who positively HATES the given first name of Alpha; when Broker mentions the “forbidden” name the borrower “hangs up” on the Broker! Broker asks if there are other notaries who will accept the situation, ignoring the Alpha name. Insulted by the question, I suggest Broker contact a few prisons and perhaps Broker can “bail out” a notary who works in that manner!

Title “takes back” the assignment and asks for a refund. Title is very happy to learn of the “flaw” in the proposed paperwork, and offers me half fee. I decline, they are a regular and, though I did spend hours waiting on docs, fee of one quarter of paid fee would be sufficient. Client Saved!

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