ANNOUNCER: Next into the tank is a way to make traveling a breeze.
ALICE: Hi Sharks, my name is Alice and I’m seeking one million dollars for 5% of my company.
ALICE: How many times in traffic and thought, this isn’t a way to spend our precious time on earth! What if I could adjust the traffic around me and get to where I need to be! Well sharks, now you can. With Notary Traffic Freezer, you can get traffic to stop around you, and get traffic lights to always turn green when they sense you coming. You would have to get around on a motorbike so you could weave in and out of the stopped cars. It’s a little bit like being in an ambulance assuming people are obedient and pull over and stop.
Mr. WONDERFUL: That’s interesting, but right now in the Notary industry, Notary jobs are frozen and nobody’s getting paid on time. Maybe you should have a signing company check unfreezer, so the checks start coming in on time. Your product isn’t going to do any good until people start getting some jobs.
ALICE: Well, the economy could turn around any minute. And notaries who are seasoned pros, don’t have any trouble getting work.
ROBERT: I have trouble getting to work, can non-Notaries use this too?
LAURI: Isn’t that illegal to use space age technology to freeze the actions of people around you? It sounds like something aliens in space ships would do.
ALICE: That’s exactly where we got the technology from. They sold it to us in exchange for liking them on gallactic Facebook. I guess they are so advanced that they think this type of technology is cheap.
Mr. WONDERFUL: I think that you’re going to get arrested. But, other than that I like the idea. I’m out for legal reasons.
LAURI: I’m out too.
ROBERT: I’m out as well, but can you take me to your leader?
ALICE: I would, but Trump doesn’t like aliens. But, don’t worry, my alien friends are talking about returning in 314 earth years, so they’ll be back. And besides, if the cops come to arrest you, you can just freeze them and run away.
LAURI: That’s a very good point, but I’m still out, unless you’re going to beam me up.
ALICE: We are also working on a time machine where you can get to any GPS coordinate in real time or another time without freezing anyone.
LAURI: Well that fits into my schedule. Just set the coordinates to ten minutes ago, and I’ll get paid well if I’m getting paid by the hour. I like it. Let me know when (no pun intended with the when remark) you have your time machine ready.
ALICE: Okay, It’ll be ready yesterday! I’ll have to contact Zorbon about that though. I’m not sure if he’s as flexible about sharing his time technology, at least not this time.
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