July 2018 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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July 28, 2018

Shark Tank: A signing company wants to sell shares on Shark Tank

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 12:40 am

CONTESTANT: Hello Sharks, my name is Dave and I want to sell 50% of my company on Shark Tank. We are a signing company that caters to nationwide title companies. We get Notaries around the country to do signings for us, and then keep them waiting forever to get paid to improve upon our cash flow. There is nothing new or innovative about our business practices. It is similar to most other signing companies.

Mr. WONDERFUL: I have a great idea. Since you take forever to pay people who have done work for you, I’ll buy 50% of your business and then take forever to pay you for it.

CONTESTANT: Oh, well, I’m not sure I like that idea.

LORI: If you don’t like being treated that way, don’t treat others that way. What comes around goes around.

CONTESTANT: Well, that’s just the way our industry works. I don’t always get paid on time by title either.

LORI: As I was saying, refer to my last statement.

Mr. WONDERFUL: It seems like you are participating more in the bad karma business than the signing business. Maybe you should change your business model.

MARK: Yeah, perhaps you should pay people a day before they do the work and then they can keep you waiting indefinitely to actually do the work. That is how it is hiring programmers.

CONTESTANT: Please don’t bring up the “p” word.

LORI: The “p” word? Programmers? Why? Did you pay them and then they didn’t do their work? That is a business model for most programming companies in the industry who cater to small clients. That’s why I get an air-tight contract before I hire a programmer to even write a single line of code.

BARBARA: Sounds like you need a better business model. I’m out by the way. But, if you consider paying people upon proof of having finished service by having them fax you a few pages of the work, that might be a reasonable system for having work done and paid for quickly.

CONTESTANT: Yeah. The problem is that if I pay the Notary before I get paid by Title, I might just be out the money.

LORI: That’s a cost of doing business. Pay the Notary whatever you can afford after you calculate the percentage chance that you won’t get paid. At least you will still have good Notaries working for you in this case.

CONTESTANT: Okay. I’m out.

Mr. WONDERFUL: You can’t be out. You’re the contestant. By the way I’m out.

CONTESTANT: Well, it sounds like I’m not going to get paid on time which is why I’m out.

LORI: We could paypal you the funds right away.

CONTESTANT: But, funds can be reversed and the policies are wishy-washy for non-tangibles.

LORI: But, I don’t want anything to do with your type of business model paying people late and not being innovative. Why not a more cutting edge business model where Title is forced to pay within 72 hours of you paying the notary or you either cut them as a client or raise their rates accordingly. You could have the whole pay structure as part of an automated system.

CONTESTANT: Snapdocs is the only intelligent business model these days. The rest of us use technology from the 90’s.

Mr. WONDERFUL: It’s time to get with the times. I’m out. Ooops. I said that already. Oh, running out of time speaking of time. It’s time for our next contestant.

You might also like:

Shark Tank – notarizing in the shower for executives
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20511

Shark Tank – Traffic freezer for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20509

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July 27, 2018

Black Notaries vs. White Notaries. The Notary Dance

Filed under: Humorous Posts,Popular on Twitter — Tags: — admin @ 11:33 am

Our last Black vs. White was really more about Asian parents vs. White parents and how white parents don’t make their kids study enough. That made white people very upset. Don’t be upset — just have your kids study harder. But, all the offensive comments… are they really necessary? The reason I write this type of blogs is that they get a lot of clicks. This is what people want to read about. It excites them. You know what they say — get your clicks on route 66. If you don’t want me writing about this type of subject matter, then click on something educational like our Notary Public 101 course or other tutorials.

WEEZY: George, I really think that Florence should become a Notary.

GEORGE JEFFERSON: Flo? She doesn’t know nothing about paperwork, or any kind of work for that matter.

WEEZY: I think it would be good if she knew some other types of ways to expand her horizons. But, I’m worried. What if she makes a mistake and costs a business owner thousands?

GEORGE JEFFERSON: Mistake? That ain’t nothing to worry about. How can you make a mistake if you don’t do anything?

TERRENCE: Personally, I think the Notary industry is racist.

WEEZY: How’s that?

TERRENCE: Have you ever noticed that you always sign a white document with black ink? There’s a whole lot more white than there is black.

SEINFELD: I never thought of that before. Why not have a black document signed with white ink?

KRAMER: Why not invisible ink, that you can only see with a special light! (rubbing his hands together)

FLO: I think that Notaries should have their own special Notarial dance.

SEINFELD: I like the idea, but how would I make a joke about that… let me think…

GEORGE JEFFERSON: Most Notaries that I’ve seen are white. The idea of a white person doing any type of a dance is a joke in itself.

SEINFELD: (nodding head) yeah, that’s right. Unless it is some sort of a Jewish dance. Our people excel at dancing, but only if it is in a circle. The minute we have to dance standing still or in a line, the whole thing just falls apart.

GEORGE JEFFERSON: The only reason your people know how to dance, is that they got plenty of practice while living in Africa and even more practice while running away from the Pharoah.

SEINFELD: I disagree. Running away from Pharoah was running in a particular direction — East. Our people just like to go in circles. Circular dances, circular reasoning, circuitous logic, etc. It gets you absolutely nowhere, but it’s so much fun if you don’t get dizzy.

FLO: I get dizzy just looking at reruns of my big fat Jewish Wedding. The whole thing where they lift the guy up in a chair into the air singing Le Chaim. I can get Le Chaim on sale downt he street every Thursday. I don’t see what the big deal is.

SITTING CROW: I like Jewish Pow Wow plenty good. But, they need better drum.

(The next day, Tom the white guy on the Jeffersons married to a black lady talks about his dream)

TOM WILLIS: I had this terrible dream last night.

FLO: What was it about?

TOM WILLIS: It was about Notaries.

GEORGE JEFFERSON: Was it about white men and black women doing a whole lot more than just holding hands and singing cumbaya?

TOM WILLIS: No, that came BEFORE the dream before I went to sleep. I’ll spare you the details.

FLO: I bet it was about white Notaries TRYING to dance.

TOM WILLIS: Actually, that was exactly what it was about. How did you know?

FLO: Oh, just a hunch.

TOM WILLIS: It all started out with a lot of suspense, just like the suspense that Helen and I had not knowing what gender our baby would be…

GEORGE JEFFERSON: And not knowing what color he would be!

TOM WILLIS: Well what happened was that 123notary created a video about a Notary dance that went viral on youtube… well that’s something that hasn’t been invented yet, but will be soon according to my psychic that Helen doesn’t know about and who’s rates are very reasonable by the way… please don’t tell Helen. In any case after the video came out, Notaries throughout the USA started doing the Notary dance. The dance was created to make Notaries feel happier, but it divided Notaries along racial lines because the black Notaries thought that the white Notaries weren’t doing the dance well enough. In fact, People started hiring Notaries based on their dancing skills and white Notaries got mad because they were disporportionally left out. They started an online riot and burned down half of Linked In. I’m not sure how this works because it all happens in the distant future.

SEINFELD: Why would anyone want to hire a Notary who danced? It doesn’t make sense. I can see the pen doing a dance, but the Notary? Most Notaries are crotchety people in their fifties and sixties. This whole dancing thing just doesn’t gel with me.

SITTING CROW: Our people have a Notary dance. But, we only do it wearing a wolf outfit which is made out of a wolf head and skin that we killed many years ago.

TOM WILLIS: It’s such a shame that people become divided so easily over race. It just divides society in half.

GEORGE JEFFERSON: And it might divide certain marriages in half as well!

WEEZY: I just can’t figure out why Notaries start an online riot, whatever that means, when somebody says something that bothers them. Can’t they just talk things over in a civil way like George and I… okay, bad example.

SEINFELD: And last time Jeremy posted his Black vs. White article on facebook about the Notary manual, people had an online riot and posted hundreds of angry and hateful comments about it when the article was not disrespectful at all. What gives? They could have a polite way of voicing their opinions instead of having a riot all throughout Facebook, Linked In, and whatever online networks will be created in a decade or two.

FLO: Or three. It’s the seventees where we are — at least for now. We’ll have to work our way into the 2000’s.

GEORGE JEFFERSON: Yeah, that’s the key word…. work! If it requires work, you’ll never get there!

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You might also like:

Black Notaries vs. White Notaries – Comedy Edition
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17455

Notary Psychic Tarot Card Reading
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19126

Notary Jail
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19666

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July 23, 2018

What is the secret to Carmen’s success?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 9:47 am

Carmen is one of the best Notaries out there. I taught her when she first began after she had studied from one of those other well known companies and found that their teaching materials were inconclusive. Please let me take a bow — thanks. Carmen gained knowledge throughout the years only to become probably one of the top ten finest Notaries in the United States (not including Guam or Puerto Rico.) In any case, Carmen didn’t get the knowledge she has by snoozing. She studied, and continues to stay up to date on her reading.

She makes $150 to $300 per signing and gets lots of offers. But, most Notaries who lack skills get $60-90 per signing. Don’t you think it makes sense for you low paid Notaries to get it through your head that mastery of skills and good communication and business etiquette is the secret of Carmen’s success? Don’t you think you could emulate what works and do it too? Refusing to have Notary knowledge is not the secret. Claiming to be great while failing Jeremy’s quizzes doesn’t cut it either.

Mastery requires teaching and studying and taking things seriously. Reading the documents at signings to be intimate with what they are about is part of it. Most Notaries ignore the documents, claim to be very “familiar” with them, yet cannot give accurate answers to questions about them.

Mastery is the difference between averaging $80 per signing and getting very few and getting $200 per average signing and having regular work. The fact that most Notaries don’t get paid enough is because most Notaries do not know their job well at all and are remarkably unpolished. The solution is in your hands. You could join the ranks of the elite. The problem is that most Notaries do not want to.

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$300 in 13 minutes – how Carmen cleans up in the Notary business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19284

Winging it as a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19644

From 3 jobs per week to 3 jobs per day!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3940

$10,000 a month on a bad month
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3891

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July 18, 2018

I heard that someone lost their Fidelity approved because

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 9:48 am

I heard that someone lost their Fidelity approval because they forgot to bill a Lender? I guess if you forget a critical step in a transaction, that could be grounds for dismissal. I do not know exactly what happened. I heard some hearsay and decided to write about it to see what the feed back would be like.

What does it mean to be Fidelity approved?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20049

A list of things you probably did not add to your notes section
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22287

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July 9, 2018

How do you handle these phone situations?

Filed under: Etiquette — admin @ 9:43 am

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Notary Situations

and how to handle them.
Notaries should know how to handle these situations, because you can lose clients very easily. Clients do not want to know about your problems or your family. They want you to get a job done professionally. Here are some scenarios Notaries typically screw up.

Screaming kids in the background
You might be used to your kids, but your clients do not want to hear them in the background. If your kids are screaming, train them to be very quiet when you answer the phone or leave the room if they can’t control themselves.

Relatives answering the phone
When you use the, “Hullo???” method of answering the phone, it is impossible to know if you are talking to the correct person. This is unprofessional and makes a horrible impression. Of the Notaries who have lasted on 123notary for ten or more years, very few say hello. The ones who say hello are not professional and generally do not last more than a few years. Everyone who answers your phone has to announce themselves, otherwise get a mobile phone that only you answer. If your three year old answer the phone, this is very unprofessional, however, if they say, “Rutherford residence, this is Brandon” then it becomes more tolerable.

Answering the phone with an alias
If you answer the phone, “Hi, this is Kathy” but your 123notary profile says Andrea and the person says, “May I speak to Andrea.” and you say, “This is her.” This creates a very annoying confusion. The point of having a name is so people know who you are and what to call you. If there are twelve people named John in one home room class at school it becomes confusing. And if you have multiple names that you go by that is confusing. Stick to one name or use an AKA when you answer the phone. “Hi, this is Kathy AKA Andrea.” That way no more confusion.

Answering the phone at a restaurant
If you answer the phone while at a noisy restaurant, it is best if you are able to step out within seconds of answering the call. The first thing you must do upon answering is say, “I am at a busy restaurant and I apologize for the noise. I can step out if you need to talk to me.” If you don’t keep in mind that nobody wants to hear the background noise and have you continually saying, “what, what what?” every time they ask you something, then be considerate and professional and either don’t answer the call, or step out quickly upon answering. Or text the caller and let them know your situation.

Having a bad phone
If you have a bad phone with bad reception, don’t keep making the other person repeat themselves and then yell at them telling them they are breaking up. That is unprofessional and rude. It is YOU that have the bad phone and it is YOU who is breaking up, not the caller. So, invest in a better phone with better reception otherwise you will lose a lot of clients and will have nobody to blame except yourself.

In a signing
Don’t answer the phone only to tell the other person you can’t talk. That is just plain rude. If you can’t talk, don’t answer. If you do answer, give the other party 90 seconds before you get short with them — hear them out, and be considerate. After the clock strikes a minute and a half, then let them ,know that you cannot talk any more because you are at a signing.

Between signings
If you just got out of a signing, are between signings or are on your way to a signing and refuse to talk to someone, that is rude. If you are at a signing, there is a reason not to talk long. But, if you are between signings and someone calls about business and you tell them you are busy — then, they will have to call you back, but they will reach you at another signing when they call back. If you are impossible about talking to people you will lose half your business.

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You might also like:

Notary Marketing 102: Phone & Communication Etiquette
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19764

How do you negotiate fees correctly over the phone?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16757

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July 1, 2018

SnapDocs wants to sell shares on Shark Tank

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 12:38 am

Disclaimer – This article is purely for comedic purposes and I very much doubt that SnapDocs wants to sell its shares to Shark Tank.

CONTESTANT: Hello sharks. I would like to sell 50% of my business SnapDocs to you. We are an innovative platform where someone can hire a Notary, pay the notary, download documents, and look up reliability stats all using our convenient platform. We charge a fee that changes over time for using our services and looking up Notary information. We make “x” amount of money per transaction with a yearly profit of “y” dollars. We have been in business several years, so we are not brand new, but we are growing and are going to attempt to take 123notary’s market share as they are the leader of the notary advertising industry — so far…

Mr. WONDERFUL: Can you show us a little about how your features work?

CONTESTANT: Yes, you see you can share snapdocs with friends by using this feature here, We can get hard to get information on title companies which is valuable for attracting notaries using this other feature, and our best feature is the “Beat 123notary” feature.

LORI: How does the beat 123notary feature work, because I’m interested?

CONTESTANT: Umm. Awkward. That feature doesn’t seem to be working now, but programming is on it. We get more clicks than 123notary now, but only from people who don’t pay their notaries that well. 123notary keeps getting the good jobs.

Mr. WONDERUL: Maybe that is because they have better Notaries than you.

BARBARA: What good is having the best technology if you have the worst Notaries?

CONTESTANT: We’re trying to talk the best Notaries into working for the fees offered from those who use our site.

Mr. WONDERFUL: And how low are those fees?

CONTESTANT: (awkward pause) Um… Someone made $125 the other day.

LORI: The other day? How about in general?

CONTESTANT: Hmm. Let’s change the topic of the conversation. I would like to sell 20% for One Million.

MARK: Since you’re making money from this, and it is unclear whether 123notary will take your market share or whether or not you will take theirs, I will offer $100,000 for 20%.

CONTESTANT: $100,000? That is what we pay programming in several months.

LORI: I’m out, because it is too unpredictable, and it is not exciting enough.

BARBARA: I’d rather buy part of 123notary. They really scrutinize their Notaries which results in a better quality site, even though the Notaries are always complaining about being scrutinized.

LORI: 123notary is not for sale. Jeremy says it is his baby and he will never sell unless he is unable to care for it anymore.

Mr. WONDERFUL: Or runs out of baby formula. I’m out.

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You might also like:

Shark Tank – Notarizing in the shower for executives
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20511

A signing company wants to sell shares on Shark Tank
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20817

Shark Tank – Traffic Freezer for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20509

A Notary goes on Shark Tank with Shazamdocs!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18943

Shark Tank – 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16021

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