July 2016 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

July 31, 2016

A link to our best virtual comedy themes post

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 8:20 pm

If you didn’t get a chance to visit our post with a list of links to our best virtual comedy theme posts, you can just click on the link below!

Best Virtual Notary Comedy Compilation 2015


July 29, 2016

Notary Oscars

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:30 pm

Notary Oscars

Welcome to this year’s Notary Oscars. For best picture…

“Trumbo” – About the black list – where notaries get blacklisted after doing something wrong… like making a profit which the signing companies don’t want them to do, putting them in the black. Not to be confused with the actors at this year’s Oscars – the white list.

“The Big Short” – about getting shorted out of your pay.

“Bridge of Spies” – about signing companies who spy on notaries who say bad things about them on forums.

“Spotlight” – Uncovering the discovery about having non-consensual notarizations with underage signers.

“The Hateful Eight” – About the current Supreme Court complaining about the Notary who doesn’t know how to give an oath to the yet to be appointed new guy.

“Steve Jobs” – About Apple’s refusal to let the government crack the cell phone information of the notary who was about to notarize a terrorist.

“Joy” – About what a notary feels when actually getting paid on time.

“Room” – About what you don’t have if your last name is too long to fit on the signature page.

“The Danish Girl” – About the first male notary who became a female notary, formerly “Robin Schneider” on his commission stamp, now changed to “Robin Schneider”.

“Inside Out” – About a notary who knows his notary law inside out, and to stay consistent, notarizes a document that’s inside out while wearing his shirt inside out.


You might also like:

Wheel of Fortune — Notary Edition

Notaries Without Makeup

A Notary Public Cures Lying


July 28, 2016

Notarizing a marijuana ballot

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: , — admin @ 9:30 am

During a campaign to regulate marijuana in a way similar to the way alcohol is regulated, the campaign was notified that the signatures on the ballot were not all valid. There were 99,229 signatures in total while about half were invalid.

The Notary’s handwriting was inconsistent on the forms containing some 17,000 signatures in question. The Secretary of State claimed that they could not get good answers to their questions from the Notary.

Perhaps the problem was that the Notary was paid for his work with marijuana and smoked some during his work and forgot what happened. Then, he got the munchies and had a few friends help him with his work.


July 27, 2016

Notary comedy articles about Heaven & Hell

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 11:23 pm

Our posts on Notary Heaven and Notary Hell have always done well. Just don’t backdate or be late on child support payments otherwise you’re likely to end up in the latter.


The Signing From Heaven

Witnessing the intake forms for Notary Heaven

Jesus The Notary


Notary Hell — “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat!”

The Signing from Hell (Carmen’s blog)

Trouble getting paid? Try our demand letter from hell

Scary results when a Notary uses our demand letter from hell


Getting Notarized before crossing the Red Sea

Notary Purgatory

The Atheist’s Bible — for swearing in Affirmations to non-believers!

Notary Funeral — when the commission expired

The Notary Diety

A talk with an angel



July 26, 2016

More Notaries are passing our test — it’s magic

For years, 123notary had trouble getting more people to pass our certification test. Suddenly this has all changed. But, for more than one reason. Have Notaries suddenly taken on a lust for knowledge? Not so many. Has the universe changed? Not really if you ignore Trump’s promise of riots. So, what has changed?

First of all, we have taken it upon ourselves to test people over the phone. Intead of testing everyone, we only test those with 500 or more loans signed who do a good job answering basic questions about their profile over the phone. This narrows it down to people who have a 35% chance of passing rather than a 3% chance. That way my time is efficiently spent asking questions over the phone.

Second, I discovered some magic. As many of you know, I am passionate about the Chinese culture, especially Chinese Feng-Shui. Feng-shui is more than just rearranging your furniture. I have learned how to harness the energies of the universe. I learned that in San Gabriel, CA where there is a large Chinese population, if I spent an hour every 48 hours in select restaurants enjoying excellent Chinese cuisine — this stimulates book sales somewhat. It also stimulates people to take and pass our test. Why is this? I think it is because Chinese take education more seriously than other nationalities, and by being around educated Chinese people, I pick up their energy. Feng-shui is magic, and what I am describing makes no sense to a rational human being unless you understand that is is magic — or consciousness. If you hang around smart people, you pick up intelligent consciousness. If you hang around office buildings with creative people, you gain creative consciousness. So, I just discovered a methodical way of harnessing consciousness to the advantage of my website and its users! Hooray!

Putting benefits aside, the “la-zi gee” I had yesterday was excellent. Very spicy, but too many chopped up bones. Why can’t they just have whole pieces of chicken without fracturing the bones? Why can’t they be more American… but, with the same recipes? In any case, this is an accounting of my victory — thanks for listening!

You might also like:

Not being 123notary certified = only getting 47% of the work you would have gotten.

Compilation of certification posts


July 25, 2016

You want to get paid well as a Notary, but do you merit a good rate?

Most Notaries are complaining about how poorly they get paid and all of the headaches like fax backs, micromanagement, and hassles they have to put up with. The reason for the micromanaging and fax backs is that someone could lose their loan and their lock if there is a mistake. Notaries make mistakes more than they care to admit, especially the new ones. So, signing companies are forced to check up on Notaries. But, you’re not like those other Notaries, right? Prove it!

Most Notaries do not want to pass the 123notary certification test. They passed the NNA certification test or some other tests, but don’t want to take the trouble to pass ours. When I ask them questions over the phone, they typically try to pass themselves off as knowing it all and then fail my test miserably. For such a large group of people to be anti-knowledge is really bad. You are a professional, it behooves you to study up and know your technical data inside out. Know your Notary procedures inside out. Know your signing agent knowledge inside out. Not just some of it — all of it.

If you have signed a few thousand loans, have good connections, and are certified by several agencies, you are beginning to merit good pay. Those who are 123notary elite certified average $116 per signing which is a lot more than those who are not. Many beginners average $80 per signing, or at least that is my guestimate.

You can learn more about being a good Notary by reading the technical articles in our blog and in NNA’s blog. You can study up on your state’s handbook. There is a lot you can do to become a better Notary. Getting reviews on your listing and polishing up your notes section help your image as well. If you want to get paid well — merit the good pay and it will come.


You might also like:

Compilation of certification posts

How to write a notes section if you are a beginner


July 23, 2016

The 90 days no payment list of signing companies

We’ve created all types of lists of signing companies over the years. But, here is a brand new idea. There are fast pays, 30 day pays, slow pays which might be 45-75 days, and then really slow pays. This list includes signing companies that were reported by Notaries on our forum to be at least 90 days late on paying at least one particular invoice. I wonder if they will pay at all. If you don’t like being paid late, read the reviews before you work for any signing company. Slow payers or no payers need to pay you up front with Paypal otherwise you are on your own, buddy!

Notaries have reported that the following signing companies have not paid them for more than around 90 days in at least one incident. The views reported in this article are NOT the views of 123notary.com, but the views of some of the Notaries on our forum.

A1 Title
“They have never paid me for work I did for them in February 2015!”

ASAP Notary
“Update!!!!!!! Eric has disconnected his fax number. ”

Mortgage Connect, LP
“I’m still trying to get paid for a 04/25, 06/09 closing.”

Mortgage Docs, LLC
“They are so off my list”

National Preferred Notary
“I did a closing (loan Mod) in 1/2016 and still have not been paid.”

North American Title
“I have emailed five times called 8 times and am told that the owner is from the “old school” and only hand writes his checks and they get shuffled down on his desk!”

Northstar Title Company, LLC
“Hooray.. they finally paid me when I sent them a copy of my letter to the BBB in Texas… Notaries aren’t slaves!!!”

Signing Wiz
“I have had an open invoice with Signing Wiz, LLC since November 4. They no longer answer my emails or return calls.”

The Signing Agents, LLC
“Did a signing for them in December and have not been paid after several phone calls and e-mails.”

TL Signing Service
“I have not gotten paid in over 8 months from this company.”

Traveling Signatures
“Did a job for them on Nov 4, 2015 – still no pay. Emailed them many times, no response”

US Notary Services
“Did a signing for them in August (2015). No responses to inquiries about payments.”


You might also like:

123notary’s comprehensive guide to getting reviews

Ken’s guide to notarized Deeds

David Schwimmer on The Apprentice

Minimum Wage for Notaries


You might also like:

The “Met My Fee” list of signing companies

See our string for posts about new signing companies

2016 most active signing companies

Signing companies that will hire new signers!



July 22, 2016

Notary Happy Days Goes to China!

Intro Joke:
A New Yorker was in the middle of downtown Shanghai with his wife and
kid. They walk into a restaurant where everybody in sight is Chinese
and nobody speaks a word of English.

The wife asks, “Where’s the bathroom?”
His kid asks, “Do you have egg rolls?”
And the guy asks, “Is the food authentic?”

I grew up watching Happy Days. I loved Richie, Potsie, Chachi, and
the gang. But, a Notary recently had to fly to Shanghai to do a
notarization for the Chinese version of Happy Days called “Yu-Kuai
Tian” which loosely translated means cheerful or happy day(s).

A Notary was called in to do a notarization for the staff of Yu-Kuai
Tian. He thought the notarization would be for a screenplay or a
writer’s contract. Boy, was he wrong.

NOTARY: Hi, I’m here for the notarization.

MANAGER: Solly no Yingrish! You wait!

ASSISTANT: Oh yes, we have been expecting you.

NOTARY: So, who am I signing for? One of the managers or the writers?

ASSISTANT: Oh, they didn’t tell you? You’re signing for the Chinese
Henry Winkler — “The Fong.” He’s late today because he was out last
night with one of his lady friends. One of his classier girlfiends who
doesn’t slurp when she eats her shark fin delight of three soup.

NOTARY: Sounds like an Ayy! One gal.

ASSISTANT: He’s out in back finishing repairing the transmission in a
rickshaw. He won’t be ready for you until 3pm. You can try one of our local restaurants.
They are quite good.

NOTARY: Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll try the one with the green
sign. I’ll just hope for the best.

ASSISTANT: But, before you go, please meet Mr. Yu and his guys. We
call them Yu’s guys!

NOTARY: Okay, how Yu’s guys doin’? This is how we talk in New York by the way.

(At the restaurant with the green sign. All of the staff are Chinese
and speak almost no English and all of the customers without exception
are Chinese as it is in downtown Shanghai.)

WAITER: Hello, I your waiter. My name Cha-Chee Wang.

NOTARY: You’re kidding. Cha-chee, like in Yu-Kuai Tian?

WAITER: Yes, I work there on my off day as wing man for The Fong. With my husband, Jo-Nee.
Jo-Nee love Cha-Chee.

NOTARY: I don’t care what I eat, but there is one thing that matters to me.

WAITER: You like dish called Potsie Sticker. It kind of dumpling.

NOTARY: Well, what I wanted to know is — is the food authentic?

WAITER: Yeah, food authentic all right. Half hour after you eat, you hungry to breathe
Oxygen. We in China after all. No Americanized food here. We don’t even know what that mean.
But, today long day. Potsie also work here. He having worst day in life. He so
out of it, it take him half hour to make “minute fried rice.”

NOTARY: Well maybe you should have Joannie come and help him.

WAITER: We try, but Joannie Chan busy. Anyway, one order of Potsie
Sticker coming up. By the way, last week was Chinese New Year – year
of the monkey, but sorry, we not serve monkey here. Try down street.
Delicacy — very expensive.

NOTARY: Thanks, but when I said authentic, maybe I had no idea what I
was getting myself into.

(30 minutes later)

NOTARY: Thanks for the great meal. Let me give you 40 ren-min-bi,
that should cover it. Back to the set.

THE FONG: Heyyyyyy!!!!! (with two sexy Chinese girls: one on each
side of him in cheerleader outfits.)

NOTARY: Wow, I get to meet the Chinese Fonzie in the flesh.

THE FONG: No, don’t touch the leather. Just got it restored at Wing’s
leather repair down street. And don’t touch the hair either.

NOTARY: Okay, I promise not to.

GIRLS: We promise not to either! hee-hee-hee…

THE FONG: Eyyyy!!!!! (puts two thumbs up.)

NOTARY: Good thing we’re not doing thumbprints.

THE FONG: If we did, you not need ink, plenty of grease already on
thumbs from mechanic work not to mention coconut oil on hair for good

NOTARY: Okay, I’ll need to see some ID.

THE FONG: Okay, legal name Fong Xiao-Leng, similar to Bruce Lee’s
Chinese name. But, people call me The Fong!

NOTARY: In real life I am not allowed to notarize outside of the State
of New Jersey where I am legally commissioned as a Notary Public, but
since this is a fictional comedy blog, I will take some liberties and
illegally use my stamp here in Shanghai.

THE FONG: Okay, so where do The Fong sign?

NOTARY: Right here

(The Fong signs in the wrong place and Notary scolds him)

NOTARY: No not there. You signed in the wrong place!

THE FONG: Wait second. You say The Fong… w-w-w-w-wong? The Fong NEVER wong!!!

NOTARY: Yeah, you were supposed to sign right here, and you signed
down there where the signature of the Notary is supposed to be.

THE FONG: Nobody say The Fong w-w-w-w-w-rong…. Not even The Fong’s mother.

NOTARY: Just admit it… You were wrong.

THE FONG: I can’t say it. I was w-w-w-w-w-w-… I just can’t.

NOTARY: Try one more time. Never mind. We’ll sign this fresh duplicate
I brought. Be more careful this time.

THE FONG: Okay. (scribbles The Fong on document)

NOTARY: No, that’s wrong. Your legal name is Fong Xiao-Leng, not The
Fong. The Fong is your nickname. You can’t legally be notarized using
that name.

THE FONG: Hey, this is blog entry. I do what I want. But, you say I
w-w-w-w-wrong again? We take this outside! NOBODY say The Fong wrong.

(The Fong grabs the Notary and takes him outside behind the garage)

THE FONG: You want on chin? Hurt more — show less. Or on gut? Hurt
more, nobody see.

NOTARY: What are you talking about?

THE FONG: You say The Fong wrong. Nobody say The Fong wrong and live
to tell about it. I punch you hard. You choose place.

NOTARY: Go for the gut. My dumplings weren’t that good anyway. I
think I prefer Americanized Chinese food come to think of it. But, I
have one condition. You can only punch me if you admit that you were

THE FONG: Deal… (punch)

NOTARY: Oh my God… What are you, a Shao-Lin monk? That really hurt.
Ouch. I’ll spend the rest of the day bent over. Now it’s your turn.
You have to keep your end of the bargain and admit that you were
wrong. Fair is fair.

THE FONG: Okay. I keep bargain. I was w-w-w-w-w-w-w….

NOTARY: Yes, this is a Deed for the sale of one of the rick-shaws you repaired.

THE FONG: Do you notarize auto-sale paperwork?

NOTARY: I notarize any documents about anything that starts with a key
and goes vroom vroom!

THE FONG: Eyyyy!!!! That sound like something The Fong would say.
Anyway… I was w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w.

NOTARY: You can do it. Good thing I ate lightly.

THE FONG: I was wr-r-r-r-r… It so hard. I was w-w-w-w…. WONG! I was wong!

GIRLS: I can’t believe he said it. The Fong was wrong!

NOTARY: Okay, now sign this 3rd copy I made as Fong Xiao-Leng and
we’ll be all done and I’ll take the next flight back to America.


You might also like:

You know you’re a Notary when…

The Lonely Italian — parody in a notary context


July 21, 2016

Subscribe to our newsletter

Filed under: Public Interest — admin @ 6:32 am

Subscribe to our newsletter
123notary has a new opt-in list for our newsletter. We are using the newsletter to give regular updates about what is going on in our forum and our blog. We will send featured articles and discussions that are interesting, and we will generally skip the articles that are less interesting. If you want to be on our opt-in mailing list for the newsletter, just email me at info@123notary.com and I’ll send you a sign up email with a link to click.


July 20, 2016

Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous Signing Companies

Notaries — you have to work for $40 per signing with notary jobs that include 40 pages of fax backs, 400 pages of printing which includes two sets of 200 pages. Did I mention that half of your jobs would get cancelled and the other half won’t pay you on time? Yes! That is correct. Because the signing companies are on Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous Signing Companies!

Meet Terry. She is a signing company owner. Terry has a difficult decision to make today. She owes 200 Notaries for work that they did last month. But, she pays the previous month based on income during the current month. She is always behind. Unfortunately for Terry, business is far down this month and she will not be able to pay her Notaries. However, her monthly payment on her new BMV SUV which isn’t cheap is due in two days and she doesn’t want a ding on her credit (or her BMW.) So, she pays for her BMW.

Terry is clenching her fists because she has a second account created for her boob job which she wants to have done next month. If only she could make a wider margin on these Notary jobs. She is charging $200 and paying a whopping $40. Why is it so hard to make a decent margin these days?

So, Terry decides to take a dip in her $40,000 pool which she got a second Mortgage on the house to pay for. Why do pools need to be so expensive? Why is life so unfair? But, the Notaries are hounding her. Where is my money? How come it has been sixty days with no payment for the Notary work? Terry decides to make payments on an “on demand” basis. Whomever harrasses her the most gets paid the first. The rest will just get excuses.

Meanwhile this Notary named Ken demands his money up front. He has no trouble dealing with Terri. She hires him too because he is good and has decades of experience. One less thing to worry about when dipping in the pool.

In Terry’s opinion, she should have a private jet if she were living in a fair and just world. Terry is done dipping in the pool. Now it is time to go to a $200 per plate sushi plate where the theme of the night is called, “trust me.” You trust the chef to give you eight small plates, but you don’t know what is on them anymore than you know if you’ll ever get paid. Perhaps Terry should go to the $80 per plate sushi special to “save money” so she can pay a few of her Notaries. But, only if we were living in a perfect world.

You might also like:

The 90 days no payment list of signing companies

Read our best signing company gossip

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