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January 4, 2019

An American Notary dates Chinese Notary using an app.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:35 am

An American Notary named Sam did not speak a word of Chinese, but yet dated Sun-Yee who didn’t speak any English other than what was necessary to pass the Notary exam. They met at a hotel convention center while taking their exam.

SAM: Hi there. I just love your hair.

SUN-YEE: Sorry, no English.

SAM: No problem, we can communicate using this app. I used it with my last foreign girlfriend who was Russian.

SUN-YEE: Oh, Russian.

SAM: The app didn’t translate the subtle nuances of Russian expressions into English. But, she was hot, so I didn’t care and neither did she.

SUN-YEE: Oh, I look up New Ants. Do you mean newly born ants from ant hill?

SAM: No, read this screen — “NUANCE.”

SUN-YEE: Oh, SAT word. Nuance. ha ha ha. I understand now.

SAM: Read this — would you like to date me?

SUN-YEE: I don’t know, are you into Notaries?

SAM: Read this — it takes one to know one.

Anyway, Sam and Sun-Yee happily dated for two months until the translate app got hacked and all of the messages were scrambled. Sam’s comment to Sun-Yee got him slapped.

SAM: Read this — You look nice today (hacked translation) You look like you are having an affair today.

SUN-YEE: Smacks Sam in the face.

SAM: Ouch, what was that for. Hmm. Was it something I typed? Maybe it is time to learn Chinese, and Russian while I am at it.

SUN-YEE: Hmm, I use dictionary to look up what you said for second opinion.

SAM: It is says something good, will you unslap me? Never mind. I’ll use my broken Chinese. If Chinese English is called Chinglish, then what is Americanized sounding Chinese? Am-Ching? NI HEN PIAO LIANG JIN TIAN pointing to i-phone.

SUN-YEE: Ohhh. I so sorry, translate wrong. I unslap you now. XIE XIE, NI YEH HEN HAO KAN.

SAM: Gee thanks… You said I am also very good looking. Hmm, I wonder if your dictionary has the term credible witness?

SUN-YEE: Oh, that sound’s dirty. You want someone to watch? SMACK!!!!

SAM: I seem to be getting beaten up here. This is pre-spousal abuse. How will I marry this girl?

Finally after another two weeks, the app was frozen, and could not be used. Sun-Yee lost her dictionary, and the two of them had no way to communicate other than by having a certified translator make a notarized copy of every sentence they said. They took him along on one date and then Sam decided he liked the translator better than Sun-Yee. So, ends the story of Sam & Sun-Yee. The moral of the story is that technology is all so wonderful until you have a power outage or get hacked.

After that, Sam learned perfect Chinese, but then fell in love with a Portuguese lady and found that his study had been a waste of time. He should have been studying Portuguese. But, then his girlfriend dumped him and he got a job in Chinese teaching English and found that his Chinese was useful after all. Too bad he couldn’t bring his Notary seal to China otherwise he could have made a mint.

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December 28, 2018

Notary Stand Up Routine

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:22 am

COMEDIAN: This is a great crowd here. This is my first time performing for a group of Notaries. In fact, when I came here, I didn’t even know what a Notary was. Can you fill me in here?

NOTARY #1: We can’t fill you in, because we only fill in forms.

COMEDIAN: Well, think of me like a form. So, what was the most unusual thing you ever notarized?

SAMANTHA: I notarized a criminal once. It was kind of scary.

COMEDIAN: Oh, a little aiding and abetting here.

SAMANTHA: Not abetting — abutting. We were notarizing paperwork for the next door property.

COMEDIAN: Oh, thanks for abutting in and telling me.

TOM: I notarized a stripper once. I got paid with a lap dance for the first signature, and she paid for the other signatures in ones.

COMEDIAN: Why does this not surprise me. So, have any of you thought of naming your kids Affi-David?

PAULA: I prefer Liath, that way when he does track, I can say, “Go Liath!!!”

COMEDIAN: An interesting twist on reality. I just hope he doesn’t fall short in track.

NOTARY #1: When I was a teenager, my mom walked in on me when I was notarizing with my friend. We were just practicing.

COMEDIAN: Oh, kind of like playing doctor? How embarrassing.

SAMANTHA: When I became a Notary, my state proctored an exam at a test station, but I heard them wrong and thought they said attestation. So, I went to the wrong place and had to reschedule my exam.

PAULA: Yeah, I had to take a blood test to be a Notary in my test. I passed the test, but they remarked that my triglycerides were a bit too high.

COMEDIAN: How about Oaths. Have you administered any unusual Oaths?

TOM: I had to do a remote court appearance Oath. I asked the lady if she swore to tell the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God. But, she was an atheist, so I changed the verbiage to “un-God.”

COMEDIAN: Personally, I prefer “non-God” but I’ll settle for un-God. So, has anyone notarized standing up?

PAULA: I notarized at Standing Rock standing up. But, I didn’t have a stand up routine, so my next signing was at Sitting Bull.

COMEDIAN: I hope you didn’t get gourd by the Sitting Bull.

NOTARY #1: I once went to notarize an acupuncturist. She was going to pay me by working on my neck. She wasn’t there. So, I turned around and got stung by a bee right in my neck. At first it hurt, and then my neck felt cured of its stiffness. It’s funny how the universe works.

COMEDIAN: What do you think about doing Notary work in space?

PAULA: Great, if I get paid for my travel time, assuming I’m not in a time warp.

COMEDIAN: Speaking of time, my time is up. You’ve been a great crowd.

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You might also like:

Best virtual notary comedy compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

Compilation of Notary related sit-com episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

Compilation of posts about Notary & Politics
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20357

Notary Dating & Romance Compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

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December 27, 2018

Ex-Notary, Ex-Con

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:51 am

An Ex-Notary and an Ex-Con got together to talk about life. The con artist told the Notary about all the nasty things he had done. The Notary told him about all the jobs he had done. They talked for hours. At the end of the conversation, the con artist (who knew something about notary law) told the Notary that many of the jobs the Notary had performed were done illegally.

NOTARY “What do you care about if something is legal?”

CON ARTIST “I may be a con artist, but I have to be an expert at law to avoid getting busted for something. You on the other hand have been breaking the law your entire commission thinking nothing of it and never got caught… ”

NOTARY “Who me? I never did anything illegal.”

CON ARTIST “Your stories indicate that you declined legal transactions which is illegal and accepted illegal transactions simply because you were comfortable doing that. You failed to administer Oaths when required and mailed loose certificates in the mail which is also completely illegal.”

NOTARY: “Nothing I did was illegal.”

CON ARTIST: “I could make a list of incriminating things you have done. Maybe you are the con artist as you are conning the public out of honest and legal Notary service. And now you are trying to con me into thinking you are on the level. You can’t con a con you know. You think that because you were comfortable with particular actions — that made them okay. Not true in the eyes of the law. The law doesn’t care what you are comfortable with.”

NOTARY: “That makes no sense.”

CON ARTIST: “You declined service to Joe who signed his Acknowledgment prior to seeing you. That is fine. The verbiage does not say he is supposed to sign in your presence. It just says he appears before you and acknowledge having signed the instrument.”

NOTARY: “Well, I’m more comfortable if he signs in my presence.”

CON ARTIST: “The legal wording doesn’t mention your comfort level, it just says what the signer has to do. You denied a legal request which is illegal. You are a criminal.”

NOTARY: Me? I thought YOU were the criminal.

CON ARTIST: “I’m honest with myself about what I did with my life. You are not. I am straight with myself and friends about being a con. You are also a con, but in denial.”

NOTARY: “Who me?”

CON ARTIST: “I conned to make a living. You con out of pure stupidity. Time to learn Notary law. Please consult your state Notary handbook. Isn’t it ironic that I care more about the integrity of your job than you do and that I care more about being law abiding than you do?”

NOTARY: “That is because you are smart and don’t want to end up in jail. I know that the only guy who is ever going to bust me for not knowing proper Notary procedure is Jeremy and the worst thing he can do is remove me from his directory.”

CON ARTIST: “Or when he comes to his senses he can report you to your Secretary of State for failing to administer an Oath when required.”

NOTARY: “Yeah, but that was only on a test question, so that doesn’t count.”

CON ARTIST: “Good point. No paper trail. You and I have a lot in common.”

NOTARY: “Yup, except I am an ex-Notary.”

CON ARTIST: “And I am an ex-Con.”

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December 26, 2018

A dream about a notary bathroom experience

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 10:55 am

Ah, but it was all a dream.

(harp music)

I was driving along and had to go to the dentist. I got my cleaning. Then I needed to use the restroom. The lady up front gave me a huge toothbrush with a key attached to it. I did my business and returned the key.

Then, I went to the NNA to pick up some journals. Since it was hot outside I had to keep drinking water and needed to use the restroom again. I was given a megasized Notary seal with a key attached to it.

Finally, I was on my way home on a long expanse of road. There were no stores for miles. In real life there would be a lot of stores, but this was a dream. Then my car broke down — definitely a dream symbology moment about how my life is going. The only store nearby was an adult toy store. As luck would have it, I needed to use the bathroom. They gave me a huge xyz that was 18 inches long with a key attached to it (perhaps another dream symbol for fertility?) In any case, the tow truck came as I was in the bathroom and I went running out.

The tow truck guy asked, “Is that a plantain in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”

This dream (just a story I made up, this dream never happened) is symbolic of my trip to New Mexico in June. I got dehydrated near Four Corners. It was 96 degrees and 10% humidity. I had just gotten a Navajo taco on a fry bread. I was driving south and my hands started going numb. This has never happened except when I am sleeping. I panicked. I decided the reason for this was too much sitting, and also dehydration in the dryness. So the next day I had coconut water, Gatorade, and lots of water. I pre-hydrated and drank far too much. I needed to go to the bathroom but there were none. There was no place to pull off the road in rural New Mexico. Finally I saw a ranch driveway and pulled over and did my business.

The part of the trip from Phoenix back to Los Angeles was brutal. It was 112, dry as a bone, and the brightness was killing me since I have no sunglasses. Maybe I should buy some. I was getting light headed. After a coconut water I felt a lot better. The minerals in that are magic. I have decided to take some Chinese herbs for circulation because my circulation has been horrible since I quit alcohol. That red wine really cleans up arteries which is why the French live so long.

Sorry for the obscenity in this article, but I thought it was funny. I thought of it as the dental assistant gave me the huge toothbrush bathroom key.

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You might also like:

Notarization for an exorcism
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20948

Notary sexual harassment issues
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19698

Notary dating & romance posts compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

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December 21, 2018

Genetically Modified Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:27 am

I complained so long about how Notaries would not login to their listing or take tests without complaining, I had to call in a genetic researcher. After several months of petri dishes, lab samples and extensive studies, it was concluded that the problem with Notaries derives from a gene — a single gene.

The name of the gene is the “avoidance gene” which has been labeled as CCR63psa which is in the third chromosome. It is the same gene that is often activated in eighth graders who don’t want to do their homework or obey mommy and daddy.

I was relieved when I found out what the solution was. A simple stem cell injection could reduce the problem. Additionally, the bacteria activated by having regular bowls of miso soup effectually “turn off” the avoidance gene.

The deeper issue is, how do you get people with avoidance problems to get stem cell injections or have miso soup? If they are too lazy to login to their listing, they are probably also too lazy to take action to prevent the avoidance problem. It’s like a catch 22.

In any case, I care about the problem and have been reading up on fermented foods like miso as well. In fact, I went to a Japanese restaurant yesterday and asked if they had soup. They said no. I said, “Me so out-a-here!”

Another issue is that eating genetically modified or highly processed foods is also bad for health which tends to lead to lethargy. So, 123notary recommends fresh fruits and vegetables, fermented foods, eggs from time to time, an ounce of nuts per day, and a reasonable amount of salmon and meat as well. Eating well and spending an hour or more per day walking or working out can help you defeat lethargy with the unfortunate caveat that it requires effort and intention. Hmmm. Maybe we better do involuntary stem cell transfers to solve the problem!

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You might also like:

Notarization for an exorcism
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

A Notary sees a UFO
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19929

Notary Space Station
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18920

Notarization in the Trang
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19652

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December 15, 2018

Trump’s Trade War Affects Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 9:07 am

Trumps desire to seek vengeance on the Chinese for taking advantage of liberal trade laws has come back to haunt the Notary industry. Now, documents that originate in China will have a 25% tariff on the Notary fee nationwide. (This is fiction by the way for comedic purposes, so please do not charge more than your state allows.) Now, you have to charge your state appointed fee, and then another 25% Federal tax, keep accounting of the tax money you kept, and fill out a statement at the end of your year with your 1040 to account for what you charged. For Notaries doing more than $1000 in tax, they might also need a special license.

Then, you have to fill out the Chinese “Bao-Shui-Biao” form that gets sent back to President Xi (sounds like “she”, but she is a he.) so he can see the effects of the trade imbalance. I wonder what Paul Revere would say about that. He spend his career fighting tariffs.

The next hard hit sector of the Notary industry are the Title companies that use outsourced Mortgage Process Outsourcing companies to assist in the Mortgage paperwork. They will also be charged a whopping 25%. Of course, they pay their workers so poorly in China (just barely enough for xiao-long-bao and man-tou) that the 25% won’t amount to anything, but it still hurts. We interview Xi He-Li in China.

NEWSLADY: So Mr. Xi (prounounced she)

Mr. XI: Please, just call me he, not she. Okay, he or she, but not it, although in Chinese, those three words are all homonyms, so if you said it in Chinese, I would not know the difference.

NEWSLADY: Boy, this is confusing.

Mr. XI: Don’t call me boy. He or she, but not boy or it.

NEWSLADY: Is boy a homonym for anything?

Mr. XI: The word for boy is “er-zi” and thank God nothing else has the same pronunciation or tone as that word. It is the only word in Chinese that doesn’t have a double, triple quadruple, or quintuple meaning. Sometimes I wonder how we communicate. Thank God for understanding based on context.

NEWSLADY: Well, the context here is the tariff. How has the tariff affected your life?

Mr. XI: I get paid so poorly at my job. By the way, I love my government — hi government… kisses. I had to suffer a 15% pay cut due to the 25% tariffs, but there was a 10% discount in the price of “guo-tie” dumplings. So, I think I am netting a loss of about 5% after expenses. It could be a lot worse. There is a lot of unemployment in China these days due to economic instability.

NEWSLADY: So, you work for an MPO, Mortgage Process Outsourcing company?

Mr. XI: Yes. We are relocating to India soon where the other MPO’s are. I am trying to find the best deal on medicines for indigestion before I go there. I have heard stories about Bombay. And no good Chinese food there. I think I will die. I will have to get used to dating Indian girls. Not sure what that will be like, but they dance well on television.

NEWSLADY: I think the ladies who work at an MPO will be better at paperwork than dancing.

Mr. XI: Yes, but some of them take dance lessons after work after their two hour train ride squashed like a sardine in the second class compartment or a Bombay train.

NEWSLADY: Well, that pretty much wraps it up. Mr. Xi is being paid almost nothing due to Trump, and will soon be transferred to Mumbai where there is no decent Chinese food unless you pay for Chinese food in a five star hotel. In a word you’re screwed.

Mr. XI: You can say that again.

NEWSLADY: Okay… Ni Bei Pian La… Zhu Ni Hao Yun! For those English speakers that means that you’ve been screwed, but wishing you good luck. Reporting from Shanghai which is a homonym for “been hurt” if you say it with the wrong tonation — Sandra Smith, CNC news.

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You might also like:

Letter to Trump about the sad condition of American Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19403

Is Trump to blame for the Notary slowdown?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19138

If Trump hired you as a Notary, would you get fired?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19120

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December 8, 2018

The Most Interesting Notary in the World

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:43 pm

I had a dream that I met the most interesting Notary in the world. Here is what he said.

“I don’t normally administer Oaths, but when I do, I always refer to the notes on the blog at 123notary. Stay hungry for knowledge my friends.”

I found out on the internet that the most interesting man in the world who drinks Dos Equis or Corona, or whatever that beer is… he is not Cuban like his TV persona. He is American and from Vermont, the most boring and unfriendly state in the US. Hmmm. You live and you learn.

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December 7, 2018

Stormy Daniels accuses Notary of having intercourse with her

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:18 am

After the whole Trump fiasco, now Stormy Daniels is accusing a California Notary by the name of John Q. Public of giving her hush money not to talk about the secret affair they had twenty years earlier.

STORMY: You know I’m gonna let society know what you did, you little rascal.

JOHN: Have I been a very very bad boy?

STORMY: I have a little dirt on you that I’m going to hold against you.

JOHN: Just like you held me against you?

STORMY: Not exactly the same way. But, you forgot to put a state in your venue, and that is an omission.

JOHN: Are you saying that I didn’t have any ink in my seal, are you saying that I’m shooting blanks? Because I assure you that I’m fully loaded.

STORMY: Well that’s the problem. You were so loaded you couldn’t do your notarization correctly without drifting off in the middle. You also forgot to administer an Oath on my Jurat. That’s fraud baby, and I’m going to report you.

JOHN: How much more hush money do you want? Actually, my commission’s over, so it doesn’t matter anymore.

STORMY: It does on a felony conviction.

JOHN: That was twenty years ago, so the statute of limitations is over. Actually, I need to see my Attorney to verify. I owe her hush money too, so I’ll multi-task.

ATTORNEY: Hey Stormy, you should be embarrassed to have done it with a Notary. You should be paying him hush money.

STORMY: Hmm, I never thought of it that way. Especially since I was thinking about running for office. Maybe you’re right. Let’s just call it even, and make a toast with my brother Jack.

ATTORNEY: Deal. But, calling it even, there are still Attorney fees. Okay. Two bottles of Jack will do it.

STORMY: That’s money down the storm drain — pity, but makes a great pun on my name.

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November 1, 2018

Comedic suggestions for slogans for particular names of notaries on our site

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 8:05 am

Every time I look at a Notary’s name, I get ideas for slogans. Sometimes I tell Notaries these slogans. Look for your name here. I am only listing a small percentage of our Notaries, but you might be there.

Carmen Bland — “Call me if you want a truly tasteless Notary.”

Sally Cripps — “Call me for drive by signings.” (I changed the first name so as not to offend anyone.)

Robert Burger — “Over 1 billion signed.”

Sheila Mabry — “Yes, No or Mabry Notary Services.”

Charles Cook — “Kiss the Notary” or “Well-done notarizations with Charles Cook.”

Carmen Towles — “Throw in the Towles Notary Service.”

Jenny Kong — “Queen Kong Notarizations.”

Mary Potter — “Get notarized by me and I’ll use my brother’s magic Notary seal.”

Shirley Silver — “Not quite gold standard mobile notary.”

Mary Jane Jock — “Tired of being notarized by nerds? Call me!”

Catherine Minor — “Have you ever wanted to be notarized by a minor? Now’s your chance!”

Vene Moses — “Let me lead you out from being lost in the Notarial desert.”

Ann Dye — “A Notary Service to Dye for.”

Donna Mooney — “Looney Mooney Notary Services.” or “Full Mooney Notary Services.”

Robert Crouch — “Crouch ain’t no slouch.”

Sharon Wolf — “A Notary service in sheep’s clothing.”

Christine Loya — “You don’t need an Attorney, you need a Loya… Loya Notary Services.”

Kathleen Spies — Shaken not Stirred Notary Services.” or “007 Notary Services.” or “Double Agent Notary Service.”

Paige Borel — “You can’t replace this Paige.” or “Call me and we’ll be on the same Paige.”

Yvonne Blankenship — “My ship might be blank, but I do not notarize documents with blanks.”

Jennifer Winkler — “Get Notarized by the Fonz’s sister and say — eyyyy…”

Leslie Worth — “When you’re tired of those other worthless Notaries, call me!” or “Looking for a Notary where you get value? Look no further.”

Eva Sommer — “All Season Notary.”

Kathryn Reynolds — “The Notary who wraps things up.”

Shelly Booth — “The Notary Booth Notary Service.”

Tresia Burrow — “Ground hog Notary services.” or “A Notary who digs deep into Notary issues?”

Debra Wise — “Wisdom Notary Services — we never wise off to our customers.”

Wendy Gray — “50 Shades of Gray Notary Service.”

Robert Hyatt — “We notarize even after check out time.”

Etta Bell — “A Notary with a nice ring to it.” or “The Notary whose name rings a bell.” or “Heard of Etta? No, but the name rings a bell.”

Pearl Champaign — “Bubbly Notarizations.”

Robert Pratt — “A notary who never falls or clowns around.”

Dorothy Holmes — :Holmes equity line of credit Notary Service.” or “Mortgage your home with Holmes!” or “Your Holmes or mine Notary Service.”

Barb West — :Your business will never go South with me.” or “Call me for a Notary who is the best in the West.”

Tammy Mello – “Call me for a relaxed signing.”

Lucille Frost — “Chill Out Notary Services.”

Brian Quick — “Quick Signings Notary Service.” or “Call me for a quick signing!” or “Call me for the fastest Notary anywhere!”

Denise Lytle — “A lot from a Lytle Notary Services.” or “Call me for a Notary who works a lot, but only charges a Lytle.”

April Risley — “Spring Notary Services, let us spring into action.”

David Love — “You’ll like my work but you’ll love my prices.” or “You’ll love my work. or “For a Notary you’ll love.” or “I love you, man – Notary Services.” or “All is fair in love and Notary work.”

Sandy Moose — “Antlers in the head lights Notary Service.” or “Call me for a Notary who spends three hours parked in the middle of the road blocking traffic for no apparent reason.”

Julie Key — “Let me be your key to a successful notarization.”

Elizabeth Lock — “Lock & Key Notary Services.” (Maybe she should do a merger with Julie Key…)

Amanda Deel — “Deel me in Notary Services.” or “Great Deel Notary Services.”

Cheryl Bass — “There’s nothing fishy about this Notary.” or “For a Notary who is low key.”

Kelly Ruble — “Dollar for Dollar Notary Services.” or “You’ll never get a bad exchange rate with us.”

Heather Day — “Day or Night Notary Services.” or “24 hour notary services.”

Brittni Couch — “Coach Potato Notary Service.”

Gina Sas — “The Notary Service That Never Talks Back.”

Amber Dates — “Amber Alert Notary Service.” or “Blind Date Notary Service” or “Dates & Times Notary Services.” or “Medjool Notary Service.” or “Get notarized by pitted Dates with us.”

Pamela Knight — “Day or Knight 24 Hour Notary Services.”

Karla Hand — “Lend me a Hand Notary Service.” or “Hands on Notary Service.” or “Witness my Hand and official seal Notary Service.”

Angela Ma — “Not just another Ma & Pa Notary Service.”

Judy Weddle — “Don’t Meddle with Weddle.”

Verna Wright — “Get the Wright Notary at the Wright Price.”

Stephanie Story — “Chapter and verse Notary Service.” or “Once upon a time Notary Service.”

Coleen Ho — “Who you callin’ a Ho Notary Services.” or “Call me for a Notary who is gung ho.” (we changed the first name so as not to offend anyone too badly.)

Karen Wynn — “Wynn Wynn Notary Services.”

La Donna Penny — “Pennies on the Dollar Notary Service.”

Edwin Forte — “Notarizing is my Forte!”

Julia Hill — “Up Hill Notary Services.” or “Over the Hill Notary Services.” or “It’s all down hill from here Notary services.”

Robert Getter — “Getter is Better and will notarize your document or Letter!”

Ricky Salmon — “Wild Alaskan Notary Service.” or “Omega 3 Notary Service.”

Frank Tabacca — “Pipe Dream Notary Service”

Liz Demera — “I’m Liz Demera of Madera County.”

Stoney Wright — “Looking for Mr. Wright? Look no further.” or “Mr. Wright Notary Services.” or “Wrights and Responsibilities Notary Services.”

Julie Sleep — “I’m so experienced I can sign in my sleep.”

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You might also like:

The Noterator
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19116

Names for Notary businesses that can get you trouble
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19064

Geographic Notary Business Names
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19060

One person, many names, quite legal!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3933

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October 28, 2018

Notary Tips vs. Notary Burnt Ends

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 10:20 am

At 123notary, we give lots of Notary tips. People browse our blog and learn something. Some people find it entertaining. But, what is the difference between a Notary tip, and a Notary burnt end?

Say, you are notarizing for people at a BBQ joint, (or a Notary BBQ joint which actually exist, but only in my blog articles). They don’t know what to do, but you are the expert. They ask, “How do you explain the APR to a non-borrowing spouse?” If you go through the procedure of explaining how the APR is based on the monthly payments compared to the amount borrower after certain fees and closing costs have been deducted, and calculated on a compounded basis — that is a Notary tip. But, if you start yelling at them that you are not an Attorney and cannot discuss loan term and how dare they ask, that would be more of a Notary burnt end.

On the other hand, if you had a good career as a Notary back from 2004 to 2013 and now left the industry because you couldn’t make a living — that is a bad way to end your career, but is it a bad end or a burnt end?

What if you give your Notary tip over and over to the point where your client is burned out hearing it and then you add a little Mama Sue’s Kansas City sauce to it. Does that make the Notary tip a burnt end?

The last scenario is if you take a notarized document and put it in one of those oil barrel cut in half type of BBQ grills. Is that destroying evidence, or turning a notary tip into a burnt end, or turning a notary document into a burnt end. I am not sure what it makes it, but I don’t know if it is legal to grill an Oath. You can grill an Affiant, but can you grill an Affirmation? Try it and find out.

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You might also like:

Tips for avoiding liability with the elderly
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20040

Ken’s tips for the Closing Disclosure
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17116

Hospital Notary job tips from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=76

Ken’s list of things Notaries goof on
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19427

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