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April 22, 2016

The (Sleezy) Notary Motel

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 7:08 am

We wrote about the Notary Hotel. That was one of most popular blog entries ever. But, what about Notary Motel. It’s just not as much fun at all. Imagine a sleezy Notary Motel. The clerk yells, “You have to be out of here by 10:30AM whether you are done signing or not.” The staff are always on the lookout for fake ID and compare all ID’s to the DMV’s database. This motel smelled like smoke in every room even though there were no smoking signs. Every time a car parked in the central lot, you could hear them slam their doors. Worse yet, I learned that in room 202, a Notary was turning signings in her room. There goes the neighborhood. There were people going in and out of that room all night long. One guy was in such a hurry to get out of there, he left his signatures hanging out as he exited the building.

SIGNER: Doing my signing here is terrible. What is that pounding noise on the wall.

NOTARY: Hmm, maybe they have a gym in the next room. Having fitness rooms is so popular these days.

SIGNER: The one thing I do like is that the parking lot in front looks like a Notary stamp. It is rectangular, the perimeter is very geometric with all of the parking spaces exactly in place. And in the middle it says the state, county, and the motel’s commission #.

NOTARY: Hmm, I didn’t notice that. Oh, I hear another noise coming from outside. Oh look, it is another Notary wearing wife beaters chasing his client into the parking lot.

OTHER NOTARY: Hey, sign this paper or else I’m leaving buddy.

OTHER SIGNER: Fine, take it and stuff it.

OTHER NOTARY: You owe me a travel fee. I hope you got cash!

OTHER SIGNER: I’m leaving.

SIGNER: Boy, what a place this Notary Motel is. I think we would have been much better off having our signing in the breakfast room of the Notary Hotel having one of those embossed waffles and then going to one of their signature rooms.

NOTARY: Yes, if we lived in a perfect world. But, if we lived in a perfect world, nobody would have to go to Notary Hell when they died either.

SIGNER: Good point. But, they go there because they have been bad Notaries, which is not the fault of the world. Okay, I’m done signing.

NOTARY: Great, just make sure you don’t walk out with one of their towels. They’ve been ripped off so many times they put microchips in those things to track them.

SIGNER: I’m not that desperate. Hey, who’s that sleazy looking lady in the parking lot. She looks like she is on drugs or something.

LADY: $10 dollars for a signature. $5 dollars for half a signature. I’ll sign anything you want!

GUY: Hey baby, wanna do a signing? Hop in!

NOTARY: I think we need to get out of here. I didn’t know it was this bad!

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