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January 23, 2020

She was my student, but now she is hustling and succeeding

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:40 am

It is always nice to hear stories like this from your former students.
As you may or may not know, the mobile notary business is filled with
women. Notaries in general are disproportionately women (roughly 84%)
and mobile notaries are more like 60% women. I recently had a
conversation with a lady who studied from my materials, mastered them
scored well on my quiz, and is getting tons of work. For a beginner,
she is really hustling and getting a lot more work than other
beginners normally work.

But, this woman has a personality that lends itself (sorry for the
mortgage related pun) to success in the mobile notary business. She
reads and reads and reads. She wants to know what is going on, what
the rules are, what proper techniques are, etc. She wants to do
everything correctly. Not everything she does is right, so I have to
correct her every once in a while. There is a lot to know as a mobile
notary, so it is good to correspond regularly with those who know the

Carmen also started out as my student back in 2003. She always had
questions. I remember the first time I met her. I was handing over a
book to her in person near the guard shack in my complex. Carmen had a
thirst for knowledge. Now, Carmen is someone I refer to as the queen
of the industry because nobody can answer questions better than she
does. I guess there is now more realism to the saying, “Grasshopper,
you were once the student, but now you are the master. Can catch fly
with chopsticks, can do anything.” I guess when you hear that quote,
the image comes to mind of Carmen quietly meditating while facing a
statue of the Buddha with a samurai sword laid out in front of her
wearing either a kimono or a ninja outfit. I have been urging Carmen
to meditate for years to deal with the stress of constant whining on
the part of Notaries. Maybe this mental image will prove to be useful.

There are other examples of people I have instructed who became wildly
successful. It is fun to think about them when people call me whining
about some petty concern. It is nice to know your work paid off in a
meaningful way to someone.


January 22, 2020

The Notary with Cleavage

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 10:39 am

Yes, this is a true story. I did not meet the notary myself. But,
someone on my directory did. The person on my directory needed to be
notarized. And as you know, a notary cannot notarize themselves even
if they have dual personality disorder, or rather, especially if they
have a multiple personality disorder (they should put that one in the
handbook — I’ll write to the Sec of State.)

There is a Notary who is very busy who goes to appointments showing
lots of cleavage. She hands out a black and pink business card at the
end of appointments. I wonder if she bends over in front of the client
while affixing her stamp.

I’m not sure if this is a good business strategy or not. I think if
you have mortgage company clients, they might complain if you are too
sexy. We had a complaint about one of our clients up North who wore
her disco outfit to a signing. But, for what Carmen and I call,
“General notary work” where you just notarize a document or two for an
individual, this dress code might be okay, especially if you have male

I remember fifteen years ago we had a sixty year old client who
promoted herself by saying, “Call me if you want a beautiful blond to
notarize you.” I guess at sixty, some ladies still got it.


January 20, 2020

Q&A about R&B

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:38 am

What if musicians from the 80’s became Notaries and wrote a book with
FAQ’s. They might have a section called Q & A about R & B.

On the other hand the currency in China is called Ren-Min-Bi, but when
said quickly in abbreviated form sounds like RNB. Hmmm.


January 17, 2020

Notarization for a guy who pulls a gun

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 9:30 am

A client of mine in New Jersey tells this harrowing tale about doing a
cash-out job in Patterson.

The Notary enters the house. The borrower calls his wife a crack ho.
They go to the car to do the signing. The borrower pulls a gun, points
it at the Notary and says, “You aren’t going to mess with me man!”
The Notary said, “I’m just here to sign papers.”

Then the Notary got a job signing for a paraplegic. The Notary asked
how the signer was going to sign. The signer asked the notary to put
the pen in his mouth.

After that, the Notary got a call to go to Karen Johnson’s house. He
gets to the house and the woman loudly says, “What the hell is going
on?” It was Whoopi Goldberg using her real name.

So, I guess that Notary had fun notarizing celebrities, but not as
much fun as I had notarizing an arsonist and his jurors — not that I
am trying to be one-up on him!


January 11, 2020

Jeremy lowered his triglycerides to 161, but how?

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 9:28 am

I just went to the doctor. I am proud to say that my triglycerides are
the lowest they have been in my life. They peaked at 333 many years
ago. I have been keeping them below 200 for a few years. But, on my
last visit they were only 161. How is this possible you ask? I lost 16
pounds between doctor visits by doing lots of lots of long walks. I
walked for three miles a day for a year, and then stepped it up to
eight miles a day average for a few months. Walking is a great way to
lose weight and is very healthy, but takes a long time. Losing weight
helps with controlling triglycerides.

However, the other huge contributing factor to my “tri” loss was
salmon. Sure, wild salmon is better, but it also costs $25 a pound and
I cannot spend money that way. So, I get the sustainable farmed
Atlantic salmon from Whole Foods. They cook it for me. The high
Omega-3 content drives good cholesterol up which helps to reduce bad
cholesterol, and in addition helps to get your triglycerides down low
too. I was having three filet servings (roughly 4 ounces each) a week
for half a year, and having some salmon before that. I went 18 months
between doctor visits, so a lot happened in that time.

Salmon tastes good and has many health benefits. It is high in
protein, low in cholesterol, high in Omega 3, has vitamin D (hard to
get in regular food), B12, and a lot of other vitamins. Tank farmed
salmon is toxic, but net farmed ocean salmon is somewhat healthy. Wild
is the best though because it can swim more freely and eat natural
food sources.


January 9, 2020

People impostering 123notary. What can I do?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:24 am

There are a few people pretending to be 123notary. Sometimes they try
to sell you something or get information. When I call notaries after
they have been bothered by imposters, they don’t want to give me
information because they are afraid I will ask for money too. Since
when am I responsible for what some strangers do, and what can I
possible do to stop these rascals? I inform them that I never asked
for money and that it was you.. the notary who brought the issue of
money up, not me. But, some Notaries just like to be difficult and I
end up removing them for being jerks.

Even if some rascals bother you, you still have to be nice when
legitimate calls come in or you get into trouble and lose your free
listing, not that you care. But, some free listings generate a lot of
business so you should care.

If you are in doubt as to the legitimacy of a potential scam caller,
email us at to see if the person is legit. We
sometimes hire girls to do calls for us. However, we do not have new
girls ask for money. If we have Wendy or Adine call you, they will
refer you to Carmen (who you all know or at least should know) to
process the transaction as a general rule.

Verify sources and don’t give money to strangers. Check people out if
you don’t know them.


January 1, 2020

Robbing the dead — Notary style

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 11:06 pm

Yes, it is a common crime in Philadelphia as I am reading. People falsify deeds, and rob the dead of their property. This requires the use of a Notary or fake Notary or falsified Notary seals.

A new local law requiring photos of ID’s being used seems like a prudent step. Another tell-tale sign is a long gap between the signing of a document and its recording. Notaries are also checked by phone to make sure particular transactions are legitimate. Taking thumbprints of sellers has been proposed in Philadelphia, but not implemented yet. It is hard to forge a thumbprint and that seems like a very sensible fraud deterrent to me. There are other ways to regulate fraud, but those are a few main ones. Read the article for more information.

You might also like:

Can a notary go to jail for notary fraud?

Penalties for notary misconduct, fraud, and failure of duty.

The curse of the notary mummy


November 20, 2019

Your notary stole your private information and sold it.

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 5:50 am

Good God! Did this really happen? I don’t know. How would you know? But, imagine that it did.

Let’s say a Notary came to your house and took all of your social security information and other information from the loan application. There is a lot of sensitive information there.

Or perhaps the notary went to the bathroom, rummaged through your house and came up with some sensitive information. You might not find out right away. But, later on you might be a victim of identity theft. What a nightmare. Is there a way to protect yourself from your Notary? Should you even be concerned?

Honestly, this is the last thing you should worry about. The worst I have heard a Notary do is to not show up, leave you high and dry, be rude, or steal your oxy-codene (which is a serious crime.) If a Notary stole your morphene, then you wouldn’t have it at your most anxious moment — anxious because someone stole your morphene. That sounds like an oxymoron. Okay, the morphene theft not so much but the oxy-codene theft could sound like an oxymoron.

Another piece of information the notary has is your loan terms. He could try to sell the borrower a competitive product based on the private information he is privy to.

So, don’t lose sleep over this issue. It was an interesting issue to discuss. Let us know if you have any input.

You might also like:

If you are named as an identity theft conspirator, you might owe $20,000 in legal fees

10 risks of being a notary public


November 6, 2019

Three days to live, what would you do?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:38 pm

If you had three days to live, would you do crazy things? Personally, I would do a lot of meditation. I would ponder the nature of the universe. I would also question whether I really had three days to live, and if that was calculated in New York minutes.

But, don’t do anything that is bad karma otherwise that will carry through in its effect to a future life.

One Notary was talking to me on a bad connection about the last few days of his life. But, I didn’t understand him due to the connection.

NOTARY: If I had a wild party my last day, would that be bad karma?

JEREMY: Yes, if you have a question, call Carmen.

NOTARY: No, that is not what I said.

JEREMY: She’s available every day.

NOTARY: Not Carmen, karma.

JEREMY: Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Good!


I would probably go up the hill and meditate in the ashram as well. And then I would call Carmen about that refund I owe someone for a redundant purchase. She would probably advise me to see if the world really does end and then decide what to do. That is called common sense.

You might also like:

If the world ends, do I get a refund?

Murder in a building a week before the signing


October 31, 2019

The signing with the danish pastries

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:51 pm

A Notary who commented on our blog had a nice story to tell.

He went to a signing. The wife came out with a plate of heavenly Danish pastries that were out of this world. She brought freshly brewed coffee as well. Then after the signing, it was a bit icy, so the husband accompanied the Notary to his car. Such hospitality. These little things mean a lot to Notaries.

It reminds me of my trip to Denmark where the gas station had an elaborate display of many varietals of Danish pastries, and the Police Office (where I reported one of their many heroin addicts) was filled with elegant Swedish style furniture. When you travel, you see the world in a new way. Why can’t we be more like Denmark and have heroin addicts roaming the streets with their needles? If only we lived in a fair world.

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