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November 20, 2019

Your notary stole your private information and sold it.

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 5:50 am

Good God! Did this really happen? I don’t know. How would you know? But, imagine that it did.

Let’s say a Notary came to your house and took all of your social security information and other information from the loan application. There is a lot of sensitive information there.

Or perhaps the notary went to the bathroom, rummaged through your house and came up with some sensitive information. You might not find out right away. But, later on you might be a victim of identity theft. What a nightmare. Is there a way to protect yourself from your Notary? Should you even be concerned?

Honestly, this is the last thing you should worry about. The worst I have heard a Notary do is to not show up, leave you high and dry, be rude, or steal your oxy-codene (which is a serious crime.) If a Notary stole your morphene, then you wouldn’t have it at your most anxious moment — anxious because someone stole your morphene. That sounds like an oxymoron. Okay, the morphene theft not so much but the oxy-codene theft could sound like an oxymoron.

Another piece of information the notary has is your loan terms. He could try to sell the borrower a competitive product based on the private information he is privy to.

So, don’t lose sleep over this issue. It was an interesting issue to discuss. Let us know if you have any input.

You might also like:

If you are named as an identity theft conspirator, you might owe $20,000 in legal fees
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19481

10 risks of being a notary public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19459

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November 6, 2019

Three days to live, what would you do?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:38 pm

If you had three days to live, would you do crazy things? Personally, I would do a lot of meditation. I would ponder the nature of the universe. I would also question whether I really had three days to live, and if that was calculated in New York minutes.

But, don’t do anything that is bad karma otherwise that will carry through in its effect to a future life.

One Notary was talking to me on a bad connection about the last few days of his life. But, I didn’t understand him due to the connection.

NOTARY: If I had a wild party my last day, would that be bad karma?

JEREMY: Yes, if you have a question, call Carmen.

NOTARY: No, that is not what I said.

JEREMY: She’s available every day.

NOTARY: Not Carmen, karma.

JEREMY: Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Good!

————

I would probably go up the hill and meditate in the ashram as well. And then I would call Carmen about that refund I owe someone for a redundant purchase. She would probably advise me to see if the world really does end and then decide what to do. That is called common sense.

You might also like:

If the world ends, do I get a refund?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=621

Murder in a building a week before the signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19272

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October 31, 2019

The signing with the danish pastries

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:51 pm

A Notary who commented on our blog had a nice story to tell.

He went to a signing. The wife came out with a plate of heavenly Danish pastries that were out of this world. She brought freshly brewed coffee as well. Then after the signing, it was a bit icy, so the husband accompanied the Notary to his car. Such hospitality. These little things mean a lot to Notaries.

It reminds me of my trip to Denmark where the gas station had an elaborate display of many varietals of Danish pastries, and the Police Office (where I reported one of their many heroin addicts) was filled with elegant Swedish style furniture. When you travel, you see the world in a new way. Why can’t we be more like Denmark and have heroin addicts roaming the streets with their needles? If only we lived in a fair world.

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October 24, 2019

What was the worst house you ever went into?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:46 pm

Have you ever been to a signing where you just didn’t want to go into the house? At 123notary we have heard many stories ranging from Legionaires disease caused by mold or bacteria, hoarding, people with long toenails that go click click click, Notaries pushed down stairs and more. Here is a list of types of situations where you might not want to go to the signing.

1. Legionnaires Disease
This is a disease that can cause serious lung diseases. If you go into a really dirty house that has a lot of bacteria, you could contract this disease which can be deadly. We advise you to think twice before going into an unsanitary house. It is more than just unpleasant — it could be your last.

2. Hoarders
Some people stack stuff from the floor to the roof and refuse to clean up. There are reality shows about this topic and it just isn’t funny. Hoarders have a mental disease that makes them believe that they actually need these useless things which they collect and that their life would be so much worse if they got rid of all of those things. If the hoarding is out of control it might be dangerous to go into a hoarders house as something could fall on your or trap you.

3. Good house bad neighborhood?
On the other hand, some houses are fine, but in bad neighborhoods where you might be afraid to go. I have heard issues of Notaries who are assigned jobs at tenement houses where risky looking people are hanging out in front of the building as well.

4. Parking Issues
There are houses where there is no place to park in certain types of communities as well.

5. GPS Issues
You might have houses on roads that are not on your GPS which is an interesting phenomenon.

6. Construction
If a house is having construction there could be issues. There could be dust that is not safe for you to breathe. There could be vehicles blocking you or equipment strewn all over the place. There might also be noise issues.

7. Smells
If you went to a house where they were cooking exotic food, you might smell an intense aroma of garam masala or something of that nature. You might hear the sounds of Vietnamese being spoken loudly too. Some people are sensitive to these things.

8. Sound
If you in a house that is noisy, that can be an issue. Some people do not turn off the television or have noisy rambunctious children dressed in Spider Man outfits.

9. Animals
Some houses have animals that are annoying or dangerous. Owners of dogs are genetically predispositioned to assume that the rest of the world just love dogs, and in particular their dogs and enjoy being viciously barked at, lunged at, and jumped on by their uncivilized furry friends. Not so. I had one borrower put their dog behind a closed door, only for Fido to emerge unannounced and jump all over me. Try locking the door and take people’s safety and comfort more seriously.

10. Attorneys
If you go to a signing and there are Attorneys or Brokers, you might be in for a long haul where there are line by line explanations. Couldn’t you do this before the signing?

11. Haunted
There might be ghosts in particular places. If so, tell the ghosts not to bother you during the signing and ask them to come back with some sort of etherial ID if they want to be notarized.

So, what are some of the worst houses or situations you have gone into?

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October 23, 2019

Knee high weeds

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:45 pm

I wrote another blog article recently about going into bad houses or neighborhoods for a loan signing. Sometimes you might feel that you are at risk. One Notary got bitten on the sleeve by a pit bull. That is a felony and nothing to joke about. If you can’t control your dogs, then don’t have them.

But, what if the house has knee high grass and weeds in front of it? That is a sign of dysfunction. Should you go into the house and risk it? Should you take a peek at the inner condition? Or should you just call the Lender and ask everyone to meet you for a frapuccino at the Coffee leaf?

Neglect is a bad sign and should be taken seriously.

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October 20, 2019

If you forget your cell phone in an Uber — if you have an problem with Snapdocs

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:43 pm

How is customer service if you have a problem with these two portal based economies?

In the last two years I have met two people who lost their mobile phone in an Uber. But, there is no number to call. You have to do customer support online. But, you can’t get to your account unless you are on YOUR phone which you don’t have because it is in the uber. Geez. What gives?

What if you have a problem with Snapdocs? How good is customer service? Is everything done with an app to solve problems? Personally I am old school and prefer human beings and don’t like technology that I could get stuck with and hit road blocks. But, millennials are my opposite — they hate talking to humans, prefer texting, don’t like marriage or relationships with titles and the men don’t like the idea of being assertive. Good God! What has happened to our species. Personally, I believe this is the angel’s system of making sure we don’t breed so that we can solve the overpopulation crisis without WW3.

What has your experience been sorting out customer service issues with Snapdocs (or Uber)?

You might also like:

Can you scan loan documents using a cell phone?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22189

Phone interaction tutorial
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4355

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July 21, 2019

Sciatic Notary Pain

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 4:45 am

During my last sciatic episode I decided to write about this topic. Notaries by and large sit too much, and if you do sit too much, you are in danger of aggravating what the Chinese call your “sitting bone nerve” (zuo gu shen jing) which means your sciatic nerve. Once you have sciatic pain it very rarely permanently goes away. You might get acupuncture, but similar to a lost dog, it always comes home to its rightful owner. So, what to do?

There are two common underlying (or undersitting) reasons for sciatica. One is sitting too much putting pressure and degenerating tissue in your rear end (above the tail gate). The other reasons is that sitting or general degeneration has eroded the tissue in your discs in your lower back which puts pressure on the nerve causing pain.

This situation is painful, unpleasant and dangerous as it can lead to crippling effects and affect your bladder function after more degeneration. Surgery is sometimes an option as well as injections of stem cells.

A more holistic way to regenerate your discs is hanging several minutes a day from your arms or on a teeter machine which hangs up upside down. This way the discs can stretch and blood can get in for a few minutes and give nutrients to the struggling disc. Standing more or sitting less is another solution. Acupuncture helps a lot but you need to keep having it. Hot baths help too. Exercising your back helps as well as strong muscles in the back help keep the vertebra a little father apart from each other so that the nerve doesn’t get pinched. Stretching a few minutes each day is helpful and your chiropractor can tell you exactly hot to do it.

The main thing is that sciatica is a pain in the butt. But, the problem with my job is that I spend all day sitting — I cant stand sitting. But, how do you get up if you work at a computer? I hate standing desks.

The pain was so bad one day I started thinking of alternate careers.
I could be a stand up comedian – the stand most of the time, at least when they are not writing material.
Or I could watch stand up comedians and give them a standing ovation.
Or I could go to the dairy section and by a half dozen eggs in a standing ovulation (not sure if it works that way.)
Working as a host at a restaurant would work — they do a lot of standing and walking, but it might look funny doing my stretches at the front podium… hmmm.

The basic message to notaries is, you sit too much and you need to do more:
Stretching, walking, standing, going to the gym, and then you will probably live longer and better. Try doing loan signing standing up. “Would you like a seat?” “No, I’ll stand… I am protecting my sciatic nerve.” And one more tip — don’t watch Happy Days because they always say, “Sit on it!”

You might also like:

Notaries over 50
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21262

When are you at your best mentally?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22233

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July 18, 2019

A slogan for a notary on board with 123notary

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 4:37 am

We have a Notary called Terrie Gillett.

Here is my slogan:

“For a closer notarization every time!”

But, maybe this Notary can come up with a politically correct television commercial too that has nothing to do with Notary work. Perhaps there could be white guys flirting with women and then black men telling them that it is not cool And some men shaving and little boys play fighting and some adults who decide that boys must not be boys. We can challenge the whole concept of natural primate behavior and decide that God was wrong the way he designed us and that we know better. There are so many possibilities for this commercial. And then at the end of the commercial the idea of Notary work could be discussed.

The commercial idea might sound convoluted, but when you appeal to millennials, you have to address their ideas of social justice and then cringe when you think about what the world will be like when they run the senate if there is an America at that time any more.

On the converse side, you could have notaries fighting over a Notary seal and then say, “Notaries will be Notaries!” I think that would be more fun!

You might also like:

Comedic suggestions for slogans for particular names of notaries on 123notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20410

Compilation of posts about Notary names
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21760

Should you include Kleenex in your notary bag?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22584

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July 15, 2019

Notarizing for a “white” ethnostate

Right wing bloggers talk a lot about having a white ethno-state. The left considers it to be “racist”, yet never objects to the fact that most Asian countries and Indian reservations are racist ethno-states too. Why the double standards? Do those groups have a pass card when it comes to only being with their own people?

In any case, the notary was called in to a signing in Florida regarding transport of some goods to the ethno-state. There was an inventory of tractors, and some other farm equipment and seeds that were being shipped. However, the signer told the Notary a story about the history of the ethno-state. This story supposedly takes place in 2032 which for those of you who don’t keep track of time is in the future.

A bunch of white guys back in 2020 wanted to make their own state so they would have a comfortable place to raise their kids. But, the U.S. government did not afford them a reservation or make any allowances in their favor. So, they lobbied, and got together a larger group of people to see if they could get anywhere. Still, the answer was no. So much for white privilege. They had long discussions of how they defined “white” and how white you needed to be, whether or not you needed to be Christian, how Christian, and what percentage of non-whites would be allowed into their non-realistic little kingdom. There was also no agreement as to where this tiny kingdom would be although Vermont, Idaho, and Kentucky were mentioned Nobody could agree on anything. But, it didn’t matter because the government would not cooperate with their seemingly unreasonable request.

Then, the conversation continued by networking with White South Africans who are being persecuted for committing the crime of being white. No, not driving or walking while white… Farming while white. There are lots of youtube videos on this topic by the way. Whites were being murdered, raped, and tortured as a way to terrorize them into leaving their land so that lower income blacks could inherit this land which supposedly was theirs first contrary to actual history. The click speaking tribes were indigenous to the area. but, the Zulu’s and other tribes came from up North at the same time the Whites came up from down South in South Africa in the 16 and 1700’s. The Americans decided it was too dangerous to join hands with their South African brethren and decided to seek other options.

Then they decided to talk with members of an already existing white (or off-white) ethno-state… Israel. The Israelis filled these American’s minds with lots of realistic thoughts about what they needed to do, what they could do, what problems they would face, and how to deal with the problems. The basic message was to have a thriving economy, a great military and most important — lots of chutzbah. But, the Israelis said they could not help out as that would be bad for public relations. The Israelis recommended that the Americans find a donor and try to buy part of a Caribbean island near America and set up a state there. Somewhere with good Farmland, a seaport, airport, and good places to build properties.

So, a group of about 4000 Americans found a donor, bought some land in Haiti which was very fertile, set up shop, and created their own state. Life was exciting while people were setting up shop. Word on the street was, “We finally did it… I can’t believe we really did it.” But, then soon after, problems ensued. Many people wanted to have sushi, but nobody knew how to make it. So, they had to have someone from Japan come over. Next, they wanted Mexican food because they couldn’t live without it. So, they had Jose come over from California. Next, they realized that they could not operate their businesses efficiently without computer support, and none of the whites knew anything about computers, so they had some people from India come over. After that, people needed help with building new housing units and had to have several thousand people come from Mexico to help with that. Farm labor was needed to , so another several thousand people came over from bankrupt Haiti. As time went on, a profitable and popular resort was built near the seaport and an even greater demand for labor was created once again to be filled by people who did not meet the ethno-racial standards of the ethno-state.

The economy was going great, but at this point the population had gone from 100% white down to 12%. So, the whites had a discussion. They decided that since whites as a group had such a limited skill set that they couldn’t survive in the long run without all of the other cultural groups. They also decided that to attain their goal of being with their people, they would be better of going to a place like Poland, Ireland, or Wisconsin.

After a few more years, the whites felt discouraged, and found others to manage their businesses which were somewhat profitable, and the donors were making nice dividends on their investment for land in Haiti. The remaining whites decided that they would have their own segregated little part of town where whites could be with whites. After another year, there were only three whites left, and they were only seasonal as well.

The next year a census was taken of the state to see who was living there.

Women 6013
Men 8063
Blacks 8548
Mexican or Hispanic 5422
Asian 103
Whites 3* (the * means that they are seasonal residents)

So, due to these demographics (which make it hard to get a girlfriend), they changed the name of this country from being the Hispanola White Ethnostate to being the Hispanola “White” Ethonostate as there were less than .02% whites living there. And there were no Notaries there either, so you had to go to Florida whenever you wanted to get notarized which was a real pain.

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July 3, 2019

Astrology of America good for business but not for relationships

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 2:30 am

My astrologer used to tell me that the chart of America is all about business which gives rise to the phrase that: “The business of America is business.” I guess we incorporated at a lucky date, time, and geographical place. It all makes sense. But, America is terrible for relationships, unless you have a relationship with your business partner.

Look at how we live. We work all the time. We are always chasing dollars. And our relationships are falling apart. When we are in our early twenties, we might spend time chasing relationships then since we value it so much. But, after that, we get fat, forget about relationships unless we already have one, and just work work work. I’m happy that we live in America and not Venezuela which is completely bankrupt and people are rioting on the streets starving and without services. But seriously, we are out of balance. We need to invest more in social cohesion and health, and less on work.

This is a problem for me too. I used to be a very social person. Now I am grumpy. I hardly ever go to parties, and if the party isn’t up to my finicky
standards, I leave very quickly. My patience for chasing something that is never going to happen has worn out — possibly for the better. But, without being open to a social life, you won’t have one, and that is my situation now. My relationships have dried up. And with my new and unreasonable standards it is hard to find new friends. I have these odd demands that you should be a decent person, not do drugs and not hang out with unsavory company — that narrows it down around here. No wonder I have no friends.

Maybe we all need to live more simply and eat more cabbage and potatoes. Maybe we need to live in communes and grow our own cabbage and potatoes… and possibly tomatoes as well although I am divided on that point. Maybe a simpler, semi-tribal communal life would be better for the planet. Less polluting, less crime, less loneliness, and less traffic.

But, the bottom line as always is that Notaries need to take charge of their finances. Even though you are in the best country for business in the world, you are almost all broke because you mismanage your money, and your lives. Learn to save, invest, and also invest in your notarial future by getting more skills, more certifications and more knowledge. Some people do this, but few people do this up to my standards. Conversely, I think I need to slow down and do more for my social life and for my health. I tend to over do when it comes to work, and that leads to less time for the things that really matter.

You might also like:

The Lonely Italian – a parody on a movie done in a notary context
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15842

The iPhone crisis
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22533

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