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June 15, 2017

The Notary who sold his soul to the devil

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:59 am

There once was a Notary who was going to sell his soul to the devil. But, he had a hearing problem. He thought the devil wanted his seal, not his soul. This Notary named Abe was asked to do a signing that involved backdating for a particular Loan Officer. The Loan Officer promised that if he did a good job backdating there would be many more to come. But, this is immoral.

Unfortunately, life often offers lots of opportunities for people to make money doing something illegal. Illegal activities often pay more since there are fewer people willing to take the risk of getting caught. But, even if you don’t get caught, God is always watching.

So, Abe, sold his spiritual future out for a few bucks doing backdating. He undermined the integrity of the Notary profession and of Western civilization.

Scratch that. What actually happened is that this guy with horns coming out of his head and a pitchfork claiming to be the devil wanted to borrow the Notary’s seal to do some bad deeds. So, that Notary was late on his alimony payments and let the devil borrow it. The devil paid him, but never brought the seal back. The Notary reported it stolen to the Secretary of State who replaced it. All was well until complaints came in of the other seal being used fraudulently.

Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un wants to sell Seoul to the devil.

The moral of the story is that weird blog writers come up with crazy ideas, that Korean food is good for you except for the sam-gyup-sal which is high in fat, and that you shouldn’t get involved with any type of illegal conduct.

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June 14, 2017

Murder in a building a week before the signing

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 8:58 am

A Notary was called to do a signing in a building that had experienced a murder. The Notary declined the job and claimed that the signing company was putting her in danger by sending her to the scene of the murder. Whose responsibility is it anyway?

Personally, I feel that since the murder already happened that the danger is over. I walked through fields in the South where horrible battles had taken place 150 years ago. Once again, the danger is over, although there might be a few lost souls who hang out there because the angels never rounded them up after they died. I’m not sure how that works.

So, should the signing company safeguard the Notary from going to a “dangerous place?” There is no official definition of a dangerous place unless the department of state recommends you don’t go to a particular country like Mexico or Afghanistan. Murders happen everywhere. I live in a good area and we had two murders within blocks in the last twelve years.

I think that an area where there are felons hanging out or regular problems could be informally defined as “dangerous.” But, one isolated event happening a week prior doesn’t phase me.

This reminds me of some woods near my house where a girl was raped 40 years ago. The residents became very cautious after the rape. I think their timing was wrong. They should have been careful BEFORE the rape. Women need to be careful in general, especially in isolated areas. This type of caution is like putting your seat belt on after the accident. The seat belt will do you more good if you put it on right before the accident — or better yet, always take precautions.

But, I don’t see anything dangerous about accepting this Notary job. In general in life, my friend Vasu always says that in the end — it is about trusting your instincts. And if you don’t have instincts, then hire someone who does!

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June 7, 2017

Lifetime memberships? Not in this lifetime…

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:37 am

Once in a while a Notary will ask us if we will have lifetime memberships. Long time ago we thought of that. But, since our rates change almost daily, it makes no sense to charge for a lifetime. On top of that, very few Notaries would want to pay for more than two years.

But, you don’t know how long you’ll live, or for that matter how long our site will live. With Snapdocs moving in, I’m beginning to worry. I better start hustling. But, I think I will run my business until my retirement. I might simplify things a bit, but it is my baby and I want to keep running it just as long as I don’t run out of baby formula.

On the other hand, we do have Notaries who have been with us for fifteen years which is a huge achievement. Let’s hope we’ll have many more who will be with us for a huge chunk of their lives. We also have Notaries die on us from time to time. But, we only get about three deaths per year which is not bad considering we have roughly 7000 Notaries on board total.

So, we will not be offering lifetime memberships, at least not in this lifetime. But, if you believe in reincarnation, you can get reborn and wait until you are eighteen and then sign up again (assuming you didn’t commit a felony!)

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June 1, 2017

No Sciliciting

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:28 am

Troy had a Notary office downtown. Business was brisk sometimes, but not others. His customers were very inquisitive. They wanted to know about all of the Notary jargon on the forms. He had to explain what venue meant, the difference between Acknowledgment and Jurat, and more. But, one day some bums were hanging out in front of Troy’s Notary office. Troy had to deal with customer when he felt he should kick those bums out.

So, his intellectual client showed his ID, signed the journal, signed the document, watched the Notary fill in the venue, and then asked, “What is scilicit?”

Troy said, “I’ll show you.” Troy then went outside with the client and yelled at the bums outside and said, “First of all, no public drinking allowed, and second —- NO SCILICITING.”

Then Troy and the client went back inside and asked the client if he had any more questions? The client said he did not. Then Troy said, “Scilicit actually means — namely or in particular, and is a term used in the venue of a Notary Acknowledgment and abbreviated to the form S.S. Then the client said, “Oh good, for a moment, I thought the Nazis had taken over the Notary business.” Then Troy informed him that they had not, but down the street there is a guy who wanted to be on Seinfeld who is called, “The Notary Nazi — No Notarization for You!”

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May 25, 2017

A dream about the Notary industry

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:51 pm

I had a dream. I was at the market and walked down the soda aisle. There were mostly 123 Cola and Nrootary Beer. It was like that for years. Then all of a sudden Snapple appeared. It was much more convenient than the other sodas. Even though 123 Cola was a better quality drink, you could get a six pack of Snapple and press a button and six different people in remote locations could drink a bottle (each of) that Snapple. So, each time I went to the market, there was less 123 Cola and less Nrootary Beer and more Snapple. So, I got afraid and wondered how much longer this would go on.

But, then 123 Cola added some new features to its cola and became more popular. One sip and automatic health for the next week. Wow! Some cola!

Then, I was flying in my old neighborhood in Massachusetts that I haven’t been to in over twenty-five years. I saw a cat and grabbed it and said, “Hello cat!” Suddenly I was at home, naked, and drinking 123 Cola. What does this dream mean? I’ll have to ask my psychic.

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May 24, 2017

April 27, 2017

A 123notary client partners with an Uber driver

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 1:31 am

One of our clients in California decided to partner with an Uber driver. He assigns Notary signings to the Uber driver. Since the driver is driving around anyway, it is no sweat to arrive at a Notary Signing appointment at the last minute. What a concept. I have never heard of such an arrangement before.

For people who are already doing signings, I wonder how effective it would be to do Uber work and fit it into your schedule when you are not doing jobs. It might mean that you should accept jobs closer to home only. Or you could go far away as an Uber driver can accept jobs anywhere. The world has really changed recently. The question is, can we keep up with it? I’m personally doing my best over here!

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April 26, 2017

Carlette’s Signing Story

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 1:27 am

My experience grappling with personal feelings and the law —
I had a reverse mortgage assignment yesterday.

This assignment came to me on a rush basis… I needed to be there within 2 hours and I had not even received the documents yet.
I was offered a very generous fee.

No mention that it was a reverse mortgage and no mention that the documents would be 175 pages long (not including the borrower’s copy).

Called borrower and the daughter answered. Daughter said father was not at home but she knew they were expecting a notary. I asked when dad would be at home… she finally said I am the wife and he is here and we are waiting for you. She said Jim will also be here.

I have had many borrowers expecting the realtor or lender to be there so I automatically thought she was mistaken. She gave me the telephone number to the Jim person who confirmed he would attend and he said he always attends his own closings. I agreed to call him when I was on my way. When I called to tell him I was 10 minutes away, he said I am already here. In hindsight, I could hear trepidation in his voice. Just thought he was concerned that I did not call him earlier (since he said he was 20 minutes away). I told him I would just get them sworn in and wait for him.

When I arrived, borrower’s wife greeted me kindly. I walked in and greeted them. A gentleman who I first met also greeted me and it was clear that he was having some health issues. He shook my hand, smiled at me and proceeded to pronounce the words DaDa over and over. I said to myself, he must be the grandfather. So I proceeded to greet the others.

Wife, daughter and “Jim” greeted me and then I was introduced to the borrower. Imagine my surprise!
Control is everything.

I proceeded to ask borrower if he knew why I was here. He did not answer. I asked him for his full name, he gave me his first name. I asked what is his last name, he did not answer. I asked if he knew what a reverse mortgage is, he had no idea. He kept saying I built this house. I asked him what is the date. He looked at his watch and said 14. I asked what year, he said 1981. I asked him who is the president, he could not answer. Wife said, who didn’t you vote for… he could not answer. Wife said, we are trying to save our house.

During this time, daughter said she is a notary and it is not my job to ask about what is being signed but to only witness the signing, Broker said borrower went through reverse counselling and they approved him and I have never seen him like this, and wife said he was just not having a good day (after his triple bypass). During all of this, borrower continued saying DaDa – over and over.

I informed everyone (as well as clarified with Notary daughter about notary law and directed her to Secretary of State notary laws and rules) that I could not close this reverse mortgage loan when I do not feel borrower understands what he is signing.

Wife finally said, I do have a Power of Attorney. I suggested to broker that if I am directed to have her sign as POA, this could be done. He reached out to someone who told him they could not go forward with the closing at this time.
I politely apologized and excused myself.

Long story short, I feel soooo bad… but so good… about what it means to be a knowledgeable notary, to understand the laws and rules, and to apply them where necessary. Learn your notary laws and rules.

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April 14, 2017

All About 123notary

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:13 am

All about 123notary — who we are, advertising with us, and how we started.

Many people know that 123notary is the one venue to advertise your Mobile Notary service that systematically gets results. We are the go-to site for notary advertising. Some people rave about the results we get. Others complain about how they don’t like our sometimes strict policies. But, almost all love the zany stories and helpful tips in our blog. So, let’s break it down how 123notary got started, and what we do.

The History of 123notary

123notary started back in 1999 and was originally designed to be an advertising site just for Jeremy. The other sites weren’t getting him enough business, so it was time to take control of advertising so there would be enough work. As time went on, the site graduated from being a purely Southern California directory covering only five counties to covering all of California. By 2001, we covered the entire United States.

Building up 123notary from scratch

We started this directory knowing almost nothing about the directory business. We just put a bunch of names and numbers on a list. Little did we realize that there is a lot more to running a directory than that. We realized we needed critical mass, so we added more than a thousand names to the list. Along with a bunch of other technical realizations about placement levels for additional counties, zip search results, etc., we realized that people drop out. As people drop out of the Notary business, we need new Notaries dropping in. My huge project adding 1000 Notaries to the list was something that would have to be repeated. So, a few years later, I added more people. Our numbers went up, and then month by month the numbers went down. This arduous process of adding names to the list would have to be repeated once again as our stats kept going down. After a while, it became a realization that we needed an organized way to keep our numbers up. So, I decided to create a monthly plan to add new Notaries to our list every month, and remove defunct listings every month as well. That system worked miracles and from that day forward, 123notary maintained a steady quantity of Notaries around 6200-7400.

Amazing breakthroughs in 2008 & 2009

Additionally, in 2008, the online advertising with Google Adwords started to get a lot more expensive. It was necessary to find a more cost-effective way to get clicks. Learning SEO was something that took a few years, but with a fantastic programmer named Mark, Jeremy was able to learn the art of SEO and get 123notary double the clicks it was getting before. The following year (2009) Mitch got Jeremy started on blogging and social media which again worked wonders for 123notary’s SEO, although that miracle took years to unfold.

What is 123notary now?
123notary is a the premiere Notary directory in the industry. No other directory has as high a quality of Notaries or gets as much traffic. We keep more information on our Notaries than any other directory. We have the general contact info, hours of operation, but also get into Notary specialties such as Reverse Mortgages, Hospital Signings, Immigration Documents, E&O insurance, Foreign Languages, and more. Additionally, 123notary goes through and helps Notaries edit their notes sections to make them easier to read and more informative. 123notary gets about 170,000 visitors per month and has about 6900 Notaries on board as of June, 2016.

Advertising

You can advertise with 123notary as a Mobile Notary for as little as $59 per year. Although we offer FREE listings which appear at the bottom of the search results, you can also elect to get a preferential listing for $99 or be #1 on the search results for a quoted price which might range from $200 on up depending on the area.

eCourses

123notary also sells loan signing certification courses and combos. Our most popular is the LS#3 combo which gives a thorough guide to loan signing, keeping records, marketing your services, examples of loan documents, and more. You can get a physical book or an ecourse. Read the course description!

How do I do well on 123notary?

To do well on 123notary requires more than just paying us an annual fee. You need to maintain your listing a little bit too, but it isn’t rocket science, and you have experienced professionals who are here to help at no extra cost. You need to write an amazing notes section about your experience, what’s unique about you, equipment, memberships, coverage areas, etc. We will help you edit your notes section at no cost to make it better organized and attractive. You also need reviews from your satisfied clients on your listing. All you have to do is ask, and email them a link, and some (but, unfortunately not all) of them will write you a review. A few reviews are like gold and will magically transform your listing as that is what the users want to see.

Help is always there when you advertise with 123notary

Other directories just take your money and leave you on your own. At 123notary, you can email us or call our 888 number for help. We give help with passwords for your listing, or ecourse. We also give free marketing and technical tips if you have a question. We’ll help brush up your listing at no cost as well as help you choose a business name — at at no cost if you have a paid listing with us!

Our Newsletter

In addition to providing advertising and courses, 123notary also has a free newsletter which has more than 5000 followers. Our newsletter is a free source of great industry information and laughs as well. We have articles about new signing companies, signing company gossip, technical signing agent tips, mobile notary marketing tips, and also comedy articles especially written for the Notary industry. No other newsletter provides the same diversity or quality of articles as we do. So, email us at info@123notary.com to sign up today!

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April 6, 2017

Notaries need to be aware of the destruction of our planet & lives

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 8:09 am

In America, we seem to have it good. And we are oblivious to the problems that surround us. Native Americans are a lot more cynical and in touch with the negative aspects of American life. To many of them, America is a concentration camp where the land is sytematically raped over and over again and that has conducted many genocides and was a model for Adolf Hitler. The cruelty against the Lakota was a model that Hitler used for how to treat “inferior” races. White people are unaware of these realities as our history books skim over the horrors that our government did to Native Americans. Additionally, we whites are not the ones being pulled over all the time. And if Native Americans wrote the history books, they would most likely deny the plethitudes of raids on wagon trains that were part of the stimuli for governmental cruelty against Native Americans. Both sides evade the truth, but we can learn from both sides too.

Additionally, if you think that America is the land of freedom and that we should fight in other countries so that they can have freedom like we do, consider this. Native American dances have been outlawed until recently in America. How can America be free when you don’t have the freedom to dance? What a farce!

The dumbing down of American Notaries
The big corporations want to dumb down American to keep us subservient to them. They don’t want uprisings or anyone to challenge their supreme rule. These corporations and banks control the puppets we call government and control us in many ways as well. They do it partly by giving us medical care that keeps us sick, a school system that teaches us blind subserviance, media that controls how we interpret political events, and food that makes us lethargic so we don’t fight back or think.

1. Destruction of rivers, ground water, ecosystems, and land.
In our country’s effort to expand and make lots of quick money, there was a lot of destruction that took place. 60,000,000 buffalos were extinguished and the species went practically extinct. This was so some people could make quick profits on selling hides, and others claim it was a plot to make it impossible for Lakota people to survive on their own without being dependent on the government.

Oil companies routinely drill for oil all over the place. This includes in ocean water which leads to spills which are impossible to completely decontaminate. This includes pipelines which routinely leak which contaminates ground water and rivers which are tributaries to the Mississippi river. In fact, on Dec 15th there was a huge lead in North Dakota from a pipeline built in 1980 which leaked 180,000 gallons of oil into a stream. Pipelines in Alaska were put above the ground so that wildlife could still run around and not be confined. But, the extra expense of putting it above the ground was due to environmental activists. The oil companies are too unconscious, stupid and greedy to care about the long-term environmental damage they are doing. It is up to Notaries to let them know that we like planet earth and want to keep it clean.

People rely on the Mississippi and Missouri rivers for their drinking water. If even one tributary becomes polluted, the entire line of the river system becomes uneafe for human consumption. Oil companies would love to just trash all of our water supplies on a whim without a care in the world. It is up to Notaries to write to their congressladies and let them know that we ain’t gonna take it no more!

2. The medical industry is designed to keep us permanently sick & dependant.
Most of the medical drugs people take have side effects that can make you sick. Are you trying to stay sick or get better? The medical industry profits when you are sick, so it is in their interests to keep you sick. Take a closer look at whatever medications you are taking and make sure they are not making you stay sick. Also, see if there is a more natural way like acupuncture to stay healthy. But, there’s more. Chinese herbs can also make you sick. Herbs can be contaminated and have side effects too. Although Chinese medicine’s intent it to keep you healthy, it can make you sick too. Acupuncture seems to be a healthy way to stay healthy as it involves needles, not herbs grown in filthy Chinese soil.

3. The food industry is designed to keep you unassertive
The big corporations want to dumb down American to keep us subservient on them. They don’t want uprisings or anyone to challenge their supreme rule. These corporations and banks control the puppets we call government and control us in many ways. They do it partly by giving us medical care that keeps us sick, media that controls how we interpret political events, and food that makes us lethargic so we don’t fight back.

Soy is one of the biggest myths as well. Studies found that Asians were living longer because of soy products. But, soy products are horrible for males as they slow our metablism down and contibute to obesity. You can read more about soy online.

Wheat is yet another one of the most destructive foods known to mankind. In the 1950’s before wheat had been ruined through genetic modification, it used to have at least some nutrition. But, these days it is a source of empty calories which leads to obesity.

High Fructose Corn Syrup. Say no to this non-food. You are harming your body and increasing your chance of diabetes drinking this. Drink only real fruit juice no matter how expensive it is. The fake stuff might be 30% cheaper, but it isn’t juice and it isn’t food. You get 15% juice for $2.80 or 100% juice for $4.00. Which is more affordable for your body? Remember, berries, apples, grapes, etc. are God’s medicine for your body. He created them for your arterial health. He didn’t create corn syrup for you to drink because he loves you. But, the big corporations are too stupid to get it through their heads that they should not be killing their customers.

Milk is good, but slows you down if you have too much. It has estrogen too which is not good for guys. We need the nutrition from milk, but the processing doesn’t do is much good. We should probably have a neighborhood cow named Bessy who could give us some warm fresh milk with no additives. Yogurt, cheese and other milk products have the same properties. Some nutritionists claim you shouldn’t have any milk if you want to lose weight. I am not an expert at this topic, but you can read about it online.

4. The media and school system
Our media reports what is going on in the world showing what they want to show us. Any source of information is inherently biased, and the media here is no exception. They can lead you to believe that Saudi Arabia is our friend and killed terrorists in Yemen while another source of media can prove that mostly hospitals, schools and children were the ones killed in Yemen. The media controls how you think, and you need to think outside the box and get a wider source of input to avoid being a zombie in the hands of the big corporations. Additionally, our school system doesn’t teach enough critical thinking. It doesn’t teach us how to see through the bullshit. We learn to unthinking and subserviant drones of big corperations. No entrepreneurial skills are taught which is why most people who own small stores in America are Pakistani, Arab, or Korean, but not American! However, the Notary industry is the other way around as we are mainly American born folks. The media is feeding you brainwashing just as the grocery store is feeding you food that enhances your state of lethargy, and your school system taught you to be a drone. It’s time to learn to think, people! And BTW, this lethargy is what holds you back from passing the 123notary certification test which is pure and unadulterated education without all of the brainwashing!

5. Now we know what is bad, but what is good?
Berries including pomogranites clean your arteries and were given to us by God. Hunter and gatherer societies were healthy because they ate more berries. But once mankind started farming, they ate more wheat and barley which slowed us down. Nuts (raw and unsalted please) are a great source of protein, vitamins, healthy fats, and minerals. Dark chocolate is yet another food with polyphenols that helps boost metabolism, has the highest concentration of antioxidants, improves you mood, and has been proven to help you be a better Notary (source unknown.) Vegetables and fruits in general are good as they have vitamins, minerals, fiber and other good energies that scientists haven’t been able to understand yet (but, I claim to.) If you eat lots of berries, you will have the strength to protest oil pipelines and save the planet. You’ll also have the strength to make more money, so you can afford more berries (which aren’t cheap by the way.)

Some tribes in Peru survived on a diet of Yams, Beans and Corn. Imagine living your whole life eating only three items. But, these are three healthy items and they are easy to farm as well. Root Vegetables are healthy and low in calories. But, don’t eat fries. Have a baked potato with the skin on. The skin has so much nutrition. I had a baked potato the other day and felt like a million bucks afterwards. Daikon, carrors, turnips, beets are all good root veggies.

What about alcohol?
Some people say that alcohol dulls the brain and is bad for you. In my experience beer does horrible things to your brain and makes you a dummie. If you combine our educational system with beer, you will end up with a completely useless excuse for a human being. Hard alcohol seems to do more damage to your body and arteries. But, red wine in small amounts is drunk by intellectuals and high class people in France, Spain and Italy as a cultural habit and they are smart (not necessarily hard working with all of the siestas, etc.) Red wine has resveratrol, antioxidants, helps you live longer, is good for your heart, and cleans your arteries so you don’t die of a heart attack when a borrower yells at you because they don’t like their APR>

6. Conclusion
The point of this article is a grass roots attempt to get humans here in America to understand that the oil companies are run by people who are NOT human. They don’t live on planet earth. And after they finish their systematic destruction of our planet, they will run back to their planet with all of the money they made off us. We humans do live here and need to protect our three most valuable assets namely: 1. Mother Earth 2. Human dignity, and 3. The blog at 123notary. The solution is to make it unprofitable to engage in the unclean harvesting of fossil fuels and for it to be economically viable to use solar energy. This can only happen if we write to our congressmen and demand:

a. Oil pipelines should be abolished. They leak regularly and the oil companies will not take long-term responsibility for the damage the pipelines do. Not only should new pipelines be banned worldwide, but existing pipelines should be dismantled as they are dangerous as our last 180,000 gallon North Dakota spillage incident proved. Additionally, those involved in government to allow such abominations should be fined and jailed along with those who participated in building these genocidal contraptions!

b. Off-shore drilling should be abolished. Those involved should be fined and jailed as we cannot bring the cleanliness of our oceans back to their original state. World destruction is a crime and should be treated as such.

c. Fracking creates huge contamination of ground water and contributes to the rates of cancer in areas nearby where fracking took place. Yes, fracking lowers the price of energy, but the cost is cancer and human misery. There much be a better way. Frackers should be sent to prison and fined. Or should receive a karmic punishment of being forced to live permanently in an area which they ravaged. Get it through your head that fracking is a fricking bad idea!

d. Solar, wind and other sustainable clean energy sources should be used to their fullest potential. As alternative energy production becomes more mainstream, there will be more competition to create the infrastructure necessary for its production, hence creating a lower price for this type of energy. Having more government incentives to stimulate solar paired with penalties for unclean harvesting of fossil fuels will create a worldwide change. America has lots of windy areas, and the American Southwest is one of the sunniest areas in the world. There is plenty of energy at our fingertips and there is no reason to destroy the earth.

e. Medical Drugs are often horrible for your body. By taking these drugs you create a culture of dependency much like the culture our government estalished in Indian Reservations where unemployment is as high as 95% and people are permanently dependent on the government. Americans have the same type of dependency, but on the drug industry. Don’t take medical drugs is there is a nateopathic safe way to stay healthy. Don’t feed the monster that wants to keep you sick and subjugate our species!

f. Food.Eat healthy food and make a policy to avoid soy, high fructose corn syrup, fries, wheat, and other unhealhty foods. Instead, try nuts, berries, fruits, vegetables, oats, responsibly farmed salmon, etc.

g. Teach your kids how to think outside the box. Teach them how to see situations from multiple points of view. Otherwise a Nazi style holocaust could happen right in front of your eyes and you will be duped into thinking that the Nazis are the good guys. And then ten years after the fact you will say, “I can’t believe I was so blind, how could this happen in America!” According to the Lakota people, genocide has been happening in America since the very beginning and is still happening in 2016. Wake up and smell the coffee — but, don’t put soymilk in the coffee, try non-GMO almond milk instead!

h. Buy a high position on 123notary.com. Don’t let the media brainwash you. Let me instead! Spend all of your money on 123notary! We’re a good agency because we don’t kill children in Yemen, we don’t destroy the earth drilling for oil, and we give good health tips! We’re good for you just like eating berries and turnips! Pass our certification exam, get lots of reviews on your listing, and let me help you write a great notes section at no cost!

And remember — the big and powerful people created the concept of God to control you. But, you should believe in God anyway, because without God consciousness, the devil will come in to replace him — and demonic consciousness leads to oil pipelines, narcotics, killing off buffalos and other bad things. It’s complicated!

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