August 2018 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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August 31, 2018

Shark Tank — Notarizing in the shower for executives

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 9:15 am

ANNOUNCER: Next in the tank is an invention that can help busy time-strapped and soon to be clean executives get notarized in the shower so that they can save time.

FRANK: Greetings, contestants. I am Frank and I’m asking for $500,000 for 10% of my company called Shower Power Notarizations. How many times have you taken a shower and thought, man, I wish I could be multi-tasking while I were here. I wish I could get my such and such notarized. Well now you can, with my brand new Notary in a Tub business model, Shower Power Notarizations — “All the more shower to you.”

At Shower Power Notarizations, we are a service, with specialized dispatching of Notaries, and special patented waterproof Notary seals, documents, pens, and clothing, so that we can shower the executives of the nation with outstanding services while they are in the shower. We cater to the highest ethical standards. But, we do recommend to our clients who engage in fraud to start practicing now — the art of not dropping the soap. We also do jail notarizations, because we want a 10 years to life relationship with our clients, even if they are not the most ethical.

Mr. WONDERFUL: You’re telling me that I have to pay you half a million dollars for the insane hope that someday I make my money back on an invention that allows perverts who watch me take a shower and ask me to sign something afterwards?

FRANK: Well the perverts don’t watch you take a shower, they watch the executives take a shower, and normally the signing happens behind a curtain so that the Notary doesn’t see the signers’ other pen (if you know what I mean). And if it makes you feel any better, we throw in a free rubber ducky with every signing.

ROBERT: So, can I try your invention?

FRANK: Sure, just get into these swimming trunks and hop in. Here’s your notarized document.

ROBERT: I don’t wear trunks when I shower.

MARK CUBAN: Quick, activate the pixelation.

FRANK: Okay, I’m handing you the waterproof Notary journal. Sign here. In our state, they require wet signatures anyway.

ROBERT: Okay, I’m signing the journal and I already signed the document. That’s okay right? By the way, am I signing my life away with that document?

FRANK: No, it’s an affidavit saying that you like Donald Duck.

ROBERT: Well, just as long as it’s not Donald Trump.

FRANK: Okay, I’m stamping the document… Done!!! One minute and forty-three seconds. How is that for saving time in your executive life? Here is your complimentary rubber ducky with our company branding on it.

ROBERT: I’ll let you clean my body, but you’re not going to clean out my bank account. I’m out.

Mr. WONDERFUL: Deactivate the pixelation!

MARK CUBAN: If we buy 10%, could you throw in a few rubber duckies to sweeten the deal? Strike that. Your invention is all wet, in more ways than one. I’m out.

LAURI: I’m sorry to say this, but this is a rare incident where I would have to say — The Notary is a Quack. I call them when they’re zeros, and I call them when they’re heroes. And this one is a hero!

BARBARA: Are you nuts?

LAURI: I could sell this on QVC. We can demonstrate it with you in the shower. But, I’m going to need a lot more equity. 10% doesn’t get me excited.

Mr. WONDERFUL: What about watching Frank naked in a tub? Would that get you more excited?

LAURI: More excited than looking at your naked head.

ROBERT: How are your sales?

FRANK: Year to date, we have been flooded with orders and none of our overhead went down the drain. We grossed four million our first year. You cannot underestimate the severe time depravity and time poverty of executives. Saving them even one minute will make their day. These people all have assistants that make more than $100,000 per year by their side who will vouch for that fact. We sell to people who have more money than time with a very specialized service with a very high profit margin and strong popularity. Don’t throw cold water on us just yet.

LAURI: I’m going to make you an offer, Frank. But, I want a lot more equity. I’ll give you the $500,000, but I want 50% of your business.

ROBERT: Shazam!!! She’s really throwing out the baby with the bathwater, Frank.

Mr. WONDERFUL: This is the biggest nothing burger I ever saw. You should take it back behind the barn and shoot it.

FRANK: You don’t have to get all in a lather about it.

Mr. WONDERFUL: I’m out.

FRANK: Okay, 50% is a little steep.

LAURI: Do you have a counter?

FRANK: I stick to bathrooms not kitchens, so I don’t have much of a counter. But, how about 25%.

LAURI: No, I have to stay at 50, it’s going to be a lot of work getting this out there.

FRANK: I don’t like your conditioner… I mean conditions. I’m out.

LAURI: You can’t be out, only we can say I’m out.

FRANK: This whole experience has left me feeling dirty. I’m going home to take a shower.

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You might also like:

Shark Tank Episodes including: Self-Driving Notary, Shazamdocs, 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares, Notary EscrowPal, A Notary enters the Shark Tank, and more…
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=shark-tank

Snapdocs’ Business Model doesn’t add up!
http://blog.123notary.com/?s=snapdocs

Notary Sexual Harassment Issues
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19698

Compilation of posts about Notary themed restaurants such as Notary Italian Restaurant, Sam’s Notary BBQ, Notary Nook, Tandoori, Sushi, Tqaueria El Notario, Notary Starbucks, Wine Country Notary, and more…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17442

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August 30, 2018

Notary Public Information


Notary Public


If you would like general information about the Notary world, read this! There are many things to know about the Notary world from how to become a Notary, how to find one, and the particular types of jobs and Notary acts Notaries do (or commit.) We will try to elaborate on all of this information below.

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Become a Notary Public

To become a Notary Public requires contacting your state’s Notary division. Most states have rules for who can become a Notary.

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No felons allowed!
You generally have to be free of felony convictions or of convictions of crimes that involve moral turpitude such as fraud.

Residency requirements
You should be a legal resident of the state you want to be commissioned in as a general rule, although some states allow residents of neighboring states who work in state.

No citizenship requirements
You generally do not need to be a US citizen, although you should be able to read, write and speak English well.

You need to be 18 or older in most if not all states.

State Notary Divisions Contact Info
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1941

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What do Notaries do?
Notaries can perform a short variety of Notarial acts which can differ from state to state. These acts include performing Acknowledgments, Jurats, Oaths, Affirmations, Proofs, and some states allow Copy Certification of Powers of Attorneys or other documents, Witnessing, Safety Deposit Openings, Protests for non-payment of bills and more. Let’s focus on understanding the more universal acts first.

Acknowledgments — A Notary Public may notarize an Acknowledged signature which is a signature that a signer acknowledged signing. This involves the signer presenting a signed document to the notary, signing the Notary’s journal, and presenting current government issued photo ID to the Notary. The rules may differ from state to state, but this is a general description. Read more…

Jurats — A Notary Public may execute a Jurat which would involve the signer or Affiant (one who swears under Oath or signs an Affidavit) to sign and swear to the document in the presence of the Notary Public. Read more…

Oaths — Notaries can administer (supervise) Oaths as well. Oaths are by definition part of the Jurat procedure for Oaths on documents. But, Oaths can also be done for remote court attendance for Florida Courts by Notaries and Oaths on oral statements. Read more…

Affirmations — Affirmations are similar to Oaths. Affirmations are also formal statements made under the legal penalty of perjury, but do not use the traditional verb “swear” or the term “under God.” In an Affirmation you affirm on your honor rather than to a higher power. Read more…

Proofs of Execution — Proofs are an unusual Notary act that cannot generally be done for important documents. But, the signer can sign in front of a subscribing witness (a person who sees them sign) and then the witness can appear before the Notary and have the Notary fill out a certificate indicating the same. Read more..

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Notary FAQ

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Q. How long is a Notary term?
A. The term for Notary Public is generally from 3 to 10 years and is up to the state. Louisiana commissions Notaries for life.

How long is a Notary term? — http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4606

Q. What is a Notary’s jurisdiction?
A. Normally, a Notary can notarize in any county of the state(s) they are commissioned in. Louisiana commissions either statewide or to their home parishes plus reciprocal parishes. There are a few exceptions nationally to this rule, and military Notaries have a very different type of jurisdiction that you can look up.

Q. Can a Notary get in trouble?
A. Notaries who break the law, make errors filling out forms, or don’t keep a journal can get in big trouble with the law, and even be treated like a suspect in identity fraud if they don’t leave a good paper trail. Notaries who cause damages to parties by upholding the law can get in trouble too if they don’t clearly explain the reason why they cannot offer services.

Q. What do I need to be notarized?
A. As a general rule, a current government issued Photo-ID, and a statement or document to be notarized is all you need.

Q. How much does a Notary cost?
A. Notary fees are set by the states and Notaries can run anywhere from 25 cents to $15. You can look up Notary fees on state notary division websites. I believe that all states except North Carolina keep their information open to the public.

How much can a notary charge — http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=how-much-can-a-notary-charge

Q. How much does a Mobile Notary cost?
A. Some states have rules for how much a person can charge for travel fee. But, generally rates run from $25 to $60 for mobile fees plus the cost of the actual notarization.

Q. Can a notary notarize in a jail?
A. Yes, but you need to make sure the inmate can be identified in a way acceptable to the state where he/she is incarcerated.

Jail Notary Jobs from A to Z — http://blog.123notary.com/?p=151

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Additional Helpful Links

Notary Public 101
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19493

How to become a successful Mobile Notary from scratch
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13340

Signing Agent Best Practices: 63 Points
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4315

Notary Vocbulary in our Glossary
http://www.123notary.com/glossary/

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August 26, 2018

Are you practicing law by drawing a signature line?

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 11:14 am

Are you practicing law by drawing a signature line?

As usual my opening ambiguous answer: it depends. Depends on what you are probably thinking. Well IMHO it depends on where that line is to be drawn. I view items to be notarized as consisting of two sections. The document and the notary section, the former is outside of my “sphere of influence. Conversely, the notary section is my domain exclusively.

I have a simple policy regarding the document area, I don’t touch it, nada; not at all. If a correction is to be made in the document, the affiant(s) make it, and they initial it. That rule applies to additions, changes and redactions. Often I have been requested to change something in the document section; I request that in writing. Then, the instructions are passed to the affiant(s) as “requested” modifications; with the source of the request explicitly shown.

Of course if the signature line where I as the notary should sign is missing I, using a credit card as a straight edge, draw it in. Not so for the document itself, that is a job for the affiant(s). Am I carrying my “keep out of the document” policy to an extreme? Probably, but it’s a slippery slope when violating a basic rule.

Often the notary section is split. The Venue (State of: & County of:) might appear at the very top. That is still part of the notary section and must show where the notary signed. We all know to either fill it in if blank, or redact the inappropriate entry (notary initials at one end of the redaction line) and neatly prints the correct value(s). The affiant(s) do not initial changes to the Venue. Thus, the document section and the notary section(s) are “touched” only by their owners.

Back to that missing affiant signature line. It’s not really required. Often there is just a box for the signature or only an indication of where the affiant is supposed to sign. Would I really ask them it draw that silly line? Probably I would give them the option to do so; and let them decide if they want to. It has happened to me a few times. They are split on the option; some do, some don’t – it matters not a bit to me.

Let me stress the major “take away” from this article again. Don’t write, not even a tiny bit outside of the notary section. Pass along requests, but do not make the marks yourself. The affiant(s) will be initialing those modifications and they should be in “affiant handwriting”.

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You might also like:

How do you notarize a document with no signature line?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20890

Notary Maintenance – there is lots for Notaries to maintain
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19417

Notary also as a witness
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19415

The Notary of the Future
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18952

Power of Attorney – notary processing mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18958

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August 25, 2018

Michael Cohen and the Notary

Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — Tags: — admin @ 11:11 am

The following is a phone call between Michael Cohen and a possible notary:

Notary: Thank you for calling D.C. Notary Service, how can I help you?

Cohen: Hi, uh, I need a notary, to uh, sign something…

Notary: Well you’ve come to the right place, notaries sign stuff. Can I ask what part of D.C. you’re calling from?

Cohen: The White House–uh I mean, uh MY house! In D.C….

Notary: (Pause) Okay, well what part of D.C. do you live in?

Cohen: In the Downtown area…Near Pennsylvania…(beat) I mean, I can’t hear what you’re saying-a?

Notary: (beat) Alright, we have an office near Pennsylvania. I could give you that address and phone number, if you’d like?

Cohen: Okay, yeah, but do you typically deal with high level clients?

Notary: I’m not at liberty to say…

Cohen: Well, I need someone who can work with highly important officials, like you know, important people…Like Presidents… OF COMPANIES!! Not like the President of the United States or anything!..

Notary: Right… We can handle larger documents.

Cohen: Great. My client will be just peachy to hear this.

Notary: Don’t you mean orangy! Haha.

Cohen: Excuse me?

Notary: The client, it’s Trump isn’t it?

Cohen: How did you know?!

Notary: Attorney-Client Privilege isn’t your strong suit…I mean, you gave away every hint…

Cohen: (nervously) Hey, I know the law! I understand what that client-attorney privilg-y thing is…But quick question, can you forge some signatures? The President doesn’t want the porn start to actually sign–

Notary: (Hangs up).

Cohen: Hmm, that’s the third one…Wonder what I’m doing wrong.

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You might also like:

Letter to Donald Trump about the sad condition of American Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19403

Introducing the 2019 Notaries!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21147

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August 22, 2018

A Notary caught some frauds who stole credit info while at a hotel.

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:04 am

I don’t know the whole story on this case. But, this is what my notes indicate. A Notary Public did a job for some people who were at a hotel. The Notary somehow found out that they had committed some type of fraud or stolen credit information from someone. The Notary reported the crime immediately and the police were able to find the bad guys still at the hotel an hour later.

Here is another story about the police and Jeremy.
I was making a left turn on a left turn arrow. A truck was coming up the road that I was trying to turn into. But, he was driving the wrong way on my side of the road preventing the car ahead of me from making the turn. The truck was doing a delivery to Erewon Health Food Store. It has a Maine license plate. The truck was only moving a few miles per hour, but created a small but dangerous back up. The car ahead of me could have moved up a little, but was too afraid to, and I was stuck in the intersection.

Finally after waiting for close to forty seconds, the car finally moved, and I could finally go. The minute I started to slowly move, a pedestrian jumped in front of me perhaps because the light had changed and he got a walk signal. He yelled at me to watch where I was going. I was watching straight ahead the entire time. He was not watching where he was going, because jumping in from of a car that was blocked and needs to get out of an intersection for safety reasons is not a good idea. Since he jumped in front of me from my blind spot (more than 45-55% to my right, there is no way I would see him unless I was watching where he came out of nowhere rather than watching where I was going.

So, I parked, wrote down the license plate of the truck, called 911, and 911 put me on hold. I called back in a minutes and was put on hold. I called a third time, was transferred to Los Angeles Police Department and offered them the plate number but they didn’t even want it. They said they had to catch the guy in action. I told them he was parked on the wrong side of the street which proves that he must have driven on the wrong side of the road, and intends to do it again while leaving his spot. Additionally, it is illegal to park facing the wrong direction. As usual, when there is danger, LAPD doesn’t give a damn and won’t lift a finger. What a negligent department. I might have to report the lady who answered the phone because she was useless.

The moral of the story is:
If you are blocked in traffic, assume that a rude pedestrian will cut you off in a dangerous and obnoxious way and then blame you for not watching where you are going.

You might also like:

Can a notary go to jail for fraud?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21353

How often do notaries end up in court
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19914

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August 21, 2018

Comments I liked on the Blog August 2018

Filed under: Social Media — admin @ 10:48 am

Some of the comments we get on our blog are really interesting, and learning tools for myself and the rest of us. Here are a few that I liked and/or found fascinating.

Here are comments I liked. With all the grief Carmen and I go through, it is nice that people appreciate the good things we do.

General Response
“Always good friend no. Like the humor it keeps me alert”

General Response
“I love your articles…you put such a funny twist on stuff. Makes me laugh!!”

General Response
“Good review Jeremy, keep these coming, these are helpful tools to keep us sharp. Thank you.”

General Response
“Notaries are careless and sloppy. Over the last 10 years I’ve assisted about 30 second signers on documents, usually refinances. I believe just one or two were error free… either a mistake by the notary, or missing a mistake by the signer accounted for the others. Frequently two or more errors refinanced.Lenders are even worse.”

General Response
“Indeed. 123notary is a refreshing site for sure. I love it!!!! And – I definitely love your (Ken Edelstein) comments and notarial instructions–thank you! And I do appreciate Jeremy holding notaries to a higher standard. I was at a signing not long ago as a Witness. An attorney conducted the signing and did NOT swear the Borrowers in and did not do a Journal entry though he acted as the Notary. I was agape and aghast.

I do think the readers should stay away from red vans and northern Massachusetts back roads where there are lurking slippery seals in an oil spill due to offshore drilling that Harvey Weinstein undoubtedly caused and the Buddhist nuns condoned. The café that Jeremy described is most likely haunted by notaries who do not listen, do not care, do not swear people in, do not keep a Journal, and who rarely pick up their phones unless it is Harvey calling them, and, generally, who ain’t right and ain’t gonna get right. There are most certainly better roads and cafes in Gwinnett County, Georgia, where you are apt to find Your Favorite Mobile Notary enjoying a cuppa and studying Professor Closen’s new book. /Penny ”

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The way you treat Jeremy might be the same way you treat title. Response
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19590
“I hope 123notary staff realize how thankful this notary is for all that you do! Hope to never be perceived as rude or ungrateful….so wanted to publicly acknowledge this job generating venue.”

Notary Public 101 Vocabulary Response

Notary Public 101 — Basic Notary Vocabulary


“Good info Jeremy! You even made it interesting with the random additional information! I”m curious, could one of those be on the test as well??”

Letter to Donald Trump response.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19908
“I agree wholeheartedly with the case Larry has stated above. Over-regulation does not make an industry better, it cripples it. That why President Trump has rescinded so many hundreds of regulations ion so many areas. It no longer takes 19 years to get approval to build a road, for example. All the regulations in California need to stay right there and not infect the Great State of Florida. How much of the qualifiers are really in the interests of the notary industry, the notaries or in the interests of those trying to regulate.”

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Some of you people have a few screws loose response
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19473
“Jeremy, I too don’t want to get on your bad side and totally respect your standards that notaries need to study and keep up to date.

However, in the trenches things are much different than being asked questions over the phone at a time you are not mentally prepared for. When I am going to a signing and before ( even at the time of making the appointment) I begin rehearsing, thinking, and planning for the possible events of the signing. I have more the one form of employment, so it takes me a moment or two to get in my Notary frame of mind. Honestly, answering question after question over the phone is not a full measure of the quality of a notaries knowledge or expertise. That said, you provide a valuable service to all and I applaud you. I know my phone call to test is coming, I only hope its in the am and you don’t mind my long pauses to think! jk”

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You might also like:

Nice things people said about 123notary in blog comments
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22401

Spelling mistakes in blog comments and what Jeremy thinks
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22221

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August 20, 2018

Notary – What would you do?

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 11:17 am

Notary – What would you do?

Assume in most questions that nobody answers your frantic “what should I do” calls.

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A) The buyer side loan package is huge, 235 pages. You glance thru the package and notice that the borrower’s name was misspelled, dozens of times. You don’t discover this till “at the table”.

1. Plow thru all the necessary changes, figuring it’s your fault because you did not verify what the ID was and what the correct spelling was.

2. Dozens of corrections would probably void the package; you adjourn the session and call your employer.

3. Borrower has software that can make a quick “global change” to the PDF and reprints the package with the “corrected name”; so it’s possible to proceed with the signing.

4. Use the AKA (also known as) form to notarize the misspelled name and equate the proper spelling as a valid alias. You perform notarizations of misspelled name based on sworn AKA to make it legal.

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B) You accept a near “lowball” fee. There is no mention of FAX backs when you accept the assignment. When the Edoc arrives there is a full fax back requirement on the “notary instructions”. As usual nobody is reachable due to a 6PM appointment. You do not have a scanner and faxing the package would cost half of your pay.

1. There is still time to ship for next day if you do not fax, you ship without faxing. You figure they are getting what they specified and what was agreed.

2. You hold the package till next morning and call asking for a fee increase.

3. You leave the completed package with the borrower asking them to scan/fax then ship.

4. You take your lumps, fax it all at top dollar from Kinko’s and ship; wanting to save the account.

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C) Borrower calls you to change the meeting location, fifty miles more distant, over toll roads.

1. You tell the borrower there will be an additional fee for them to pay “at the table”.

2. You decline the change mentioning your schedule does not permit the extra time involved.

3. You call Escrow, who sent the job, they refuse any additional fee; you dump the job.

4. Such is life, you cancel your subsequent assignment and comply with borrower demands.

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D) The borrower’s dog keeps “pawing” at you; thinking you are a source of Milk Bones. You ask that the dog be placed in a different room; borrower replies that they never lock their dog in a different room and refuses.

1. You ask the borrower to pay for new pants, if they will you will proceed.

2. You declare the situation a “hostile environment” and threaten to leave if dog not contained.

3. You call a “pause” to the signing and attempt to make friends with the dog.

4. You suggest moving to a nearby diner without dog; angry borrower asks you to leave.

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E) The docs are way late, the borrower keeps calling you asking when you will arrive. You don’t know when/if they ever will arrive as Title keeps (many calls) saying “we are working on final details, it should be soon”. This has been going on for three hours.

1. You keep trying to pacify borrower telling them the loss of rate lock would be very expensive to them.

2. You are not a fan of “heroic waits” and politely tell Title to put their job where the sun never shines.

3. You refused two other jobs during the wait – so you hang in there hoping to recoup some of your losses.

4. You give Title an absolute deadline, docs in half an hour or find someone else.

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F) You don’t have a racist bone in your body, you treat every human the same; and follow all rules. You are shown a passport from a country you never heard of. It’s all handwritten, even the passport number. It does not have a USA visa.

1. You accept the passport and include a photocopy with the statement that you have your validity doubts.

2. You decline the ID even though affiant claims to be from poor country and that’s how they do it.

3. You proceed but hold package till you can do some internet research to validate the passport.

4. You explain the situation to the Loan Officer and follow the advice given.

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G) This one happened to me. Identical twins, dressed and looking exactly alike. Both are on title and both need their signatures notarized. They joked when you met them how they enjoy substituting for each other.

1. The passport signatures are very similar, but you think you detect slight differences; you have them sign in front of you and determine based on handwriting which is which.

2. Mission impossible, you adjourn the session.

3. It really does not matter as they will be co-owners; you proceed relying on their sworn oaths.

4. You insist on a fingerprint next to each signature.

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H) The LO is adamant that you must backdate your notarizations to yesterday or they will incur financial damages and will sue you the notary to recoup their losses.

1. You insist upon a hand signed email (PDF) from the LO with the authorization to backdate. It actually arrives on your cell phone on their letterhead stationery and hand signed. You proceed to backdate it’s the LO’s problem.

2. You carefully spell your name to the LO stating that you hate to receive subpoenas with bad spelling.

3. You use the proper date and inform borrowers that it is improper for them to change the date in the notary section; then proceed to explain proper redaction procedures. What they do is not your problem.

4. You tell yourself perhaps the LO is right, your watch and cell phone might be showing the wrong date.

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I) Borrower looks at the package and states that they will be taking 3-5 hours to read every word. You explain the included Right of Recision, but borrower states they will sign nothing till reading every word. Also borrower wants to confer with their attorney while reviewing the pages. Nobody is available when you make calls.

1. You call out for pizza and ask for the remote to the TV.

2. You leave package and copy asking borrower to call when ready to sign.

3. You tell borrower you can stay for an hour and a half, and then must take docs whatever the progress.

4. You demand they sign quickly and threaten to cancel the loan if they don’t.

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J) Borrower has full middle name on docs but no ID that has more than middle initial.

1) You accept High School Yearbook entry as that has full middle name as part of ID – take pictures of all IDs, including yearbook entry and include with package.

2) Title says it’s OK to proceed and they will drop middle initial when issuing deed.

3) You redact the middle initial only in the notary section as that was the proven ID. Job proceeds.

4) You cancel the signing because there was insufficient ID.

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K) During the signing the borrower lights up a “joint”, offers you one (which you decline) – and proceeds to sign all of the documents.

1) As you did not “partake” it’s OK for you to notarize the documents.

2) At the first sign of illegal activity you adjourn the signing and take all paperwork, reporting issues.

3) Borrower claims “pot” helps them to concentrate and relax, you ask for windows to be opened and proceed.

4) Wanting to be accommodating you ask instead for a Scotch and Soda to stay legal

Please use the LETTER of the question in any comments so we all know what you are referring to.

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You might also like:

How do you handle these phone situations?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20051

How to handle rude clients
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15347

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August 19, 2018

Index for posts about general Notary information

Filed under: Public Interest — Tags: , — admin @ 2:18 am

Notary Public 101 — a comprenhensive guide to Notary best practices
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19493

Notary information for beginners — best links to articles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10472

See our string on “Notary Public”
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=notary-public

What is a Notary Public?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6498

Where can i find a Spanish speaking Notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18824

How much does a notary cost?
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=how-much-does-a-notary-cost

10 risks to being a mobile notary public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19459

Basic Notary vocabulary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19495

All you need to know about notary work
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2354

How much does a Notary charge?
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=how-much-does-a-notary-charge

How do I get a Spanish language document notarized?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18822

How do I find a Vietnamese speaking Notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18816

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August 18, 2018

The Difference between Heaven and Hell

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 11:12 am

The religious leader (RL) died a peaceful death. It matters not the gender nor the specific religious belief of the RL. The RL was surrounded by adoring friends and family until the end. Knowing death was moments away, the RL asked the Lord to grant the only request made in a life of devotion and sacrifice. With dying breath the RL asked God that to know the difference between an afterlife of damnation and one of reverence and salvation.

God looked down, listening, to the RL’s last request and smiled. It was such a small request and one that was richly deserved. The Lord would do more than tell the Learned One, bud decided to show the RL, personally – granting this most humble of requests.

After the RLs last gasp of breath, a smile formed, a life of belief and honor convinced the RL that the message was heard. As the heart stopped beating; the eyes developed new clarity.
Around the RL was a beautiful forest with a series of paths leading in multiple directions thru the woods. Confused for a moment, being not sure which path to take; the RL paused. Soon the RL noticed a friend approaching; it was the one who taught religion, a friend and teacher.
Follow me the friend beckoned, that you might learn the answer to your final request. They walked on one of the paths for a short time. Soon they came to a clearing with a majestic castle in the distance. They continued to the castle, the drawbridge was down and the gates were open.

They entered a magnificent room, with a very long table in the center. Upon the table were the finest of food and drink in abundance. The feast was piled high in the center of the table and people were seated, facing each other on the sides. The RL, upon noticing the feast told his guide that this truly must be heaven. This particular RL was known at times to partake a bit to excess; the only minor “vice” of a virtues life. The RLs mouth began to salivate, eager to partake.

The guide noticed, and reminded the RL of the request to learn the difference between Heaven and Hell. This certainly is a grand Heaven the RL exclaimed, I would be happy to be here for all eternity. Not so fast said the guide. You are only looking at the table, divert your eyes to the residents of Hell! Astonished, the RL complied. It was only then that the RL noticed that the arms of those seated had planks of wood strapped to their arms. They were unable to bend their elbows, and thus could not feed themselves. They sat starving while looking at a feast.

How horrible, what purgatory exclaimed the RL to the guide; I certainly would not want to spend eternity at that table. They turned and left the great hall, exited the castle and soon were back in the forest. The guide followed a twisted path and soon came upon a clearing. To the surprise of the RL there was an identical castle; or he thought it might be the same one again.

They entered the second location, again with drawbridge and open gate. Inside there was a great hall with exactly the same feast laden table in the center. This time the RL quickly glanced at the arms of those seated. Again astonished, he noticed that they too had slats of wood affixed to their arms such that they also could not bend their elbows to feed themselves.
We must have taken a wrong turn in the forest; we are back where we started the RL said to the guide and friend. The guide spoke again. My friend, your life of kindness and devotion has not given you the ability to grasp the totality of a situation. Use those newly restored eyes to really look upon the face of Heaven. For here is where you will have a seat at the table.
He looked more closely. The new found strength of his eyes and mind focused on the slats of wood affixed to the arms of those at the table. Only then did he notice that they picked up items, be it food or drink; and reached across the table to feed their counterpart on the other side.

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August 17, 2018

The Emergency Button

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 11:47 am

JOHNNY: I’m doing a Notary in the hood, but every time I go there, I get followed by these characters. The harrassment never ends.

WIZARD: No problem. We developed this device. Just press the button and we will teleport ourselves to wherever you are and show up in our klan outfits to protect you.

JOHNNY (White Liberal Notary): Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t exactly approve of your organization.

WIZARD: Well when the police are nowhere to be found you might reconsider.

DARIAN (Confident Black Notary): Hey man, don’t worry about these guys. They ain’t no problem. I ain’t afraid of nothin’.

(The next day. Johnny walks through the hood and gets followed.)

THUGS: What are you doing in our hood, white boy?

JOHNNY: Uh -oh… (presses button)

WIZARD: Stop following my friend Johnny, or I’ll be back with my boys!

THUGS: Hmmm. We better see our connections about this.

(The thugs go to see their contact who gives them an emergency button for backup.)

THUGS: We need an emergency button!

SALESMAN: Just watch this video. “When I have thug back up, it doesn’t matter if I don’t know where I am… THEY know where I am. It detects if I fall, and they have a file on what my medical (or legal) problems are.

THUGS: Sold!

(The next day. Johnny has another notary appointment in the hood and once again gets followed.)

THUGS: So, you came back to our hood. What brought you back?

JOHNNY: Work. (presses button several times)

WIZARD: (appears out of thin air) Okay, I’m here with my gang of six. Back off and don’t bother our friend Johnny.

THUGS: Well we have a little surprise for you. (presses button and twelve more thugs show up and beat up the klan guys). Take that (bash) and that (clash). You guys are a bunch of racists.

WIZARD’s ASSISTANT: Well we wouldn’t be here if you weren’t racially harassing and beating up OUR people.

THUGS: Good point.

WIZARD: When we defend our people it’s okay, but when you do your business, it’s racist.

THUGS: What a double standard!

WIZARD: Uh-oh. Time to leave. (presses button and disappears.)

JOHNNY: Uh oh. Time to call 911. (911 comes)

THUGS: Uh-oh, police on the scene, you know what I mean. Time to press the disappear button.

(Meanwhile Darius the other Notary who ain’t afraid of nothin’ got jumped and is currently in the hospital.)

DARIAN: I can’t believe this happened. I felt so secure. And now I’m in the hospital.

WIZARD: I can’t believe I’m in here as well. Can’t we all just get along?

DARIUS: Am I hearing this correctly? YOU want to get along?

WIZARD: Sure.

(Meanwhile, the police confront the gang.)

POLICE: Freeze, we have you surrounded.

THUGS: That’s what you think. (presses button and twelve more thugs arrive and engage in shoot out.)

POLICE: We better press our back up button. (presses button and twenty more police arrive.)

THUGS: We need more backup, but our button is malfunctioning.

POLICE: This is just like the Los Angeles riots of 1992. We better get out of here. It’s too dangerous. We’ll just tell the Korean merchants or whomever is in trouble that we can’t make it and that we hope they have insurance. See ya!

THUGS: Before you go, isn’t confronting danger to make society safer the whole point of your job?

POLICE: Not in our book. Getting home by 6pm to our loving wives and getting paid overtime is the main priority, not to mention getting my damn steering wheel fixed.

.

BACK IN THE HOSPITAL ……

.

WIZARD: If you wouldn’t go to that hood, we wouldn’t have this problem to begin with.

NOTARY: Hey, I’m an equal opportunity Notary. Now you’re being racist.

WIZARD: If those intolerant thugs were not in the hood, you would not have called us in the first place. You can’t change the world, but you can change your habits.

NOTARY: Good point.

.

(The next day after a quick recovery with a few bandages the Wizard goes to one of the thug’s house to protest what happened.)

WIZARD: I am burning this cross as a candle light vigil to protest the unfair racial discrimination that our people have faced due to the thug that lives in this here building. Hey, what are you guys doing here?

JEW KLUX KLAN GUY: Jewish power! I am burning this star of David to protest also. But, because someone else in this complex married out of our faith. Such a disgrace.

ISLAMIC EXTREMIST GUY: I saw you guys and decided to join the party. I’m burning a crescent. It’s our way of doing things. But, I actually have nothing to protest today. After all, Israel didn’t build any new settlements recently.

(Meanwhile a very angry lady from nearby in the ‘hood drove by and started shooting.)

WIZARD: We are being persecuted all over again while having a peaceful protest. The unfairness of it all — ouch, I’m hit. Back to the hospital.

(In Hospital)

WIZARD: Hey, it’s you again

DARIAN: You’re back. Getting beat up wasn’t enough for you, you had to get shot.

WIZARD: I could have died in that there ‘hood. We’re being persecuted (sniffle.)

(Another angry lady from the same ‘hood as the thugs comes to the hospital room and starts shooting, but gets arrested)

LADY: I’m shooting these people because they are racists!

WIZARD: We didn’t do anything racist… at least not in the last few years. We were protesting being persecuted by thugs from your ‘hood, and the result is to be violently persecuted two more times. Do I need to fill out a permission slip to have freedom of speech and expression?

POLICE: How unfair, and especially for these things to happen to you of all people sarcastically). I’m sure a good half a percent of the population in Los Angeles will have sympathy and feel your pain.

WIZARD: Well they should (whimper.) And I’m sure they just love paying over time for you to have donuts.

POLICE: Actually, we switched to bagels for health reasons. It is sort of a culture shift in the department.

DARIAN: Hey man, this guy is just defending his people. Wait. Why am I defending you?

This skit was thought of when watching the commercial for the emergency health button. It detects if you fell, and you can press the button, and help will be on the way.

“I don’t need to know where I am… THEY know where I am. If I called 911 they wouldn’t know what to do, but emergency button has my health information on file.”

.

You might also like:

Black Notaries vs. White Notaries – The Notary Manual
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19322

Best virtual notary comedy compilation updated to 2018
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

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