May 2015 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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May 29, 2015

The Middle – Sue calls the notary about an Occupancy Affidavit

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 8:16 am

FRANKIE: We need a Notary for some dumb paper about our house. I can’t believe we need this! What a headache.

MIKE: I don’t even remember what a notary is. I wonder who could fill me in.

BRICK: Hmmm, I could look that up and tell you about it.

SUE: Oh, that’s so exciting. We’re being notarized! I don’t even know what that means, but I’m so excited. What is a Notary?

AXL: Who cares about some dumb notary. It’s probably a loser job for people who couldn’t make it doing a real job.

FRANKIE: Axl! Now, can’t you learn to be respectful about what people do? And by the way, with your grades, you’re not going to end up being anything wonderful until you clean up your act mister.

MIKE: We told him dozens of time. He’ll listen one day. It might be too late by then, but he’ll eventually listen.

BRICK: Hmmm, it says here that a Notary Public is an ancient profession that started in the Roman empire, and was used to protect the integrity of critical documents affecting business, property, other agreements, and more.

SUE: That’s so interesting! We’re going to do something the Romans did! Can I wear a toga when the Notary comes?

FRANKIE: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Although, maybe it depends on who the notary is and if he wants to stay for drinks after the notarization.

BRICK: Let’s see. It also says that in modern America, notaries are used to verify that the person signing a document is the person they claim to be by checking their identification, taking thumbprints for critical documents, and making document signers sign their journal, and also sometimes sign documents in their presence. This is very interesting. I think I’d like to take out a few books from the library on the subject.

MIKE: Now Brick, you already have more than a dozen late books from the library. Do you think you could return those before you get any more books?

BRICK: I could, but I’m not done reading those yet.

AXL: I think he’ll need to get a paper route just to pay for all of the late fines for all of the dumb books he reads.

FRANKIE: Well at least he has a high level of reading comprehension which is more than I can say for you. For your information, Brick has a reading ability six years ahead of his grade level.

AXL: Yeah, but have you ever seen him try to throw a football? To say he throws like a girl would be an compliment!

MIKE: Now, now. You and Brick are just different, and that’s okay — providing you do your homework, and put on a shirt.

AXL: Whatever…

SUE: So, when is the notary coming?

FRANKIE: I haven’t set up the appointment yet. It’s just for one document — the Occupancy Affidavit. It just says that we live in the house.

AXL: And you need an Affidavit for that? How lame!

BRICK: Let me know if I can help in any way. This whole notarization process fascinates me. If I stay up until midnight, I can finish my other books and then get a few books on notarization tomorrow from the library.

SUE: Can I help? I could call the notary and set up the appointment. Is that okay?

FRANKIE: I don’t see why not. Just make sure you confirm all the details with me.

SUE: (ring-ring) Hello? Like, are you a Notary Republic?

NOTARY: Well, uh, I’m a Notary Public. I haven’t declared statehood yet.

SUE: Ohhh… this is so exciting… Oh, sorry. Yes, well, my family needs a particular Real Estate document… a very official Real Estate document notarized. Can you come and help us in your very official capacity with our official document?

NOTARY: I officially can.

SUE: (putting hand on the mouthpiece) Oh, he can! He can! (taking hand off mouthpiece) That’s great. Can you come tomorrow?

NOTARY: Yes, I can… officially that is.

SUE: Great. see you then!

NOTARY: Wait a second. Don’t go yet. My fee is $50 including travel. I need to know the document being signed, who the signers are, your address, and if the signers are of sound mind and body.

SUE: Well, not everybody in this house is of sound mind and body, but the ones signing are! Mom and dad will be the signers and our address is 15 Bloomington Lane, Orson, Indiana. Just go to the cornfield, and turn left. You can’t miss it.

NOTARY: Tell mom and dad to have their current identifications ready for the signing. I’ll be there at 7pm!

SUE: Great! (hangs up) He’s coming! He’s coming! Tomorrow at 7pm. This is so cool. I’m telling all my friends at school.

FRANKIE: Just don’t get too excited if he’s cute, deal?

SUE: Deal, deal deal and a half!

FRANKIE: And you Brick, during the signing, please don’t bury your head in one of your books. Try to be what we like to call, “interactive!”

BRICK: Hmm? What?

FRANKIE: Never mind!

.

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Marcy notarizes a felon!
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Marcy becomes a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14245

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May 28, 2015

The Mayan Rescission Calendar

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Linked In — Tags: — admin @ 10:52 am

And yes, I know what you’re thinking — the day the end of the world comes is a Federal Holiday according to the Mayans.

If you think it is hard using the Christian calendar with the American Federal holidays, think of how hard the Mayans had it. They had to calculate using 20 day months, and 18 months per year, and then the Mayan holidays, the Aztec holidays if they were under Aztec occupation, and then the local village tribal holidays. The problem is that each holiday used a different calendar. The Mayans had two calendars that they used at the same time, each using a completely different network of interlocking time periods. How confusing.

Good old Xipil was off to do a notarization for a refinance on a pyramid. But, the loan had five days to cancel, otherwise he would be damned to hell for a period no less than five Baktuns (which is a long time using the Mayan calendar.) He brough his rescission calendar to the job. It was not easy lugging those stone tablets around, but when you are dedicated, you are dedicated. Luckily, traffic was light, and he didn’t run into any jaguars. Please keep in mind that during Mayan times they had jaguars (which were an omen,) but no Ferraris until Italian immigrant Luis Ferrari showed up. So, Xipil got to the Pyramid where the refinance was scheduled. He was instructed to use the back door, and not to touch the Gods on the wall.

Hmmm, I wonder what happens if I touch the God’s on the wall? I bet ten arrows will suddenly come flying towards me. Maybe I should try this wearing a metal suit. But, I don’t have time to go back home to try this. Or, maybe the floor will collapse. Do I really want to risk this? No, I’ll just stick to the paperwork. After all, I’m not Indiana Jones, I’m Xipil Tlaxahapatl the Notary! Finally the signer showed up.

MARY: Yeah, I’m refinancing this pyramid. It’s not much, but it’s all we have. We do our rituals here.

XIPIL: Sounds good. Just as long as you don’t sacrifice me if you don’t like your APR.

MARY: I think it will be alright. I just called the Lender. He says I get an extra day because National Xacoatl Day is in three days, and we all take the day off and drink hot chocolate with ground seeds and hot pepper in it. So, I get an extra day to rescind.

XIPIL: Oh, I completely forgot. My stone tablets must be out of date. I’ll just download some new tablets from Google. That is actually my favorite holiday. Love the spicy stuff. I heard that was a great war potion back a few hundred years ago when everyone was fighting.

MARY: Yeah, thank God the fighting has died down.

XIPIL: Wow, your payments seem a bit high. Is that a hardship for your family?

MARY: Somewhat. We are making a huge sacrifice… Oh, I guess that didn’t come out sounding so good. I mean we are making a huge commitment to keep our pyramid fully functionl.

XIPIL: And by the way, what happens if I touch the God to the left? Do poisoned arrows shoot out from some myserious place?

MARY: No, it’s nothing like that. 2,000,000 scorpions will appear out of all of the crevices of the pyramid and they will crawl all over you and bite you to death.

XIPIL: Ouch. If that happens, then they will have one less prospective person to sacrifice?

MARY: Yes, or perhaps that will become the new and more fun way of sacrificing people. It would be fun to watch.

XIPIL: I’ve never seen that before. I feel like I am somehow missing out.

MARY: Don’t feel bad, we all are!

XIPIL: Anyway, just sign here in scorpion ink and we’re done! Congratulations, and enjoy your pyramid. Enjoy the rest of your day and have a nice end of the world.

MARY: You too.

.

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The reset button for Mayan loans
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15100

Cortez was shocked when the Aztec Notaries wanted it signed in blood!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14693

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May 27, 2015

Notary Sushi Bar

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:51 am

Just for the record, I just went to a new sushi bar at Universal City Walk. I have to go there to visit the Zen Oxygen Bar. I lose a lot of energy unless I get my O2 from time to time. My regular spot at Panda Inn closed down, so I was off to try a new place. Right next door there is a spot owned by a famous celebrity chef. I mentioned that this chef could come up with a novelty chocolate dessert that is shaped like a hockey puck. They could call it “Wolfgang’s Puck.” I’m sure it would be a top seller.

I just tried a new chicken stir fry dish at this new sushi bar. It was great. But, I asked them what it would be like it their restaurant was a Notary sushi bar. They had no idea.

The Multi-State Miso Soup
This was the best I’ve ever had. And it comes with it’s own rider you have to sign before enjoying the soup. The kelp in the soup was top notch as well.

Embossed puck shaped sushi anyone?
Instead of sushi rolls, they had sushi that was the size of silver dollars and embossed. It was more of a raw fish sandwich with embossed rice on the top and bottom, and spicy tuna in the middle. Hard to dip into the Signature Soy Sauce and “Witness Wasabi” mixture.

Scilicit Soy Paper
Then, there was the Scilicit Soy Paper so flat, you could write a venue on the top. State of California, County of Los Angeles.

Subordination Soba
For noodle dishes they had Universal Udon and Subordination Soba. I got used to the idea of cold noodles, and soba is a national favorite of Japan. Lean buckwheat noodles! You can’t go wrong! The Thai’s have a dish called “Drunken Noodles” while the Japanese have “Soba.” The question is, which noodle dish should you have first? Yesterday, I had monsoon noodles. That is what Natalie Thai calls their drunken noodles. Either way, they are one of my favorite Thai restaurants.

Subscribing Sake
One shot of this and you might be under the table. But, honestly, Korean soju is much more potent than sake any day. I can’t handle it!

Kim Jong Eel Roll
Tired of politics, and just want to eat? This will be the perfect culinary solution to your problems. It has a California roll with eel, eel sauce, and tempura flakes, plus a little kim-chee on the side. Hence the name, the Kim Jong Eel Roll.

Ousama Bin Latte
After your meal, if you want to wash it down with some coffee, consider a Ralph Macciato, Frank Sumatra, or their special Ousama Bin Latte.

Good Faith Green Tea Ice Cream
Forget about tempura ice cream. That is a novelty that never worked. But, green tea ice cream by itself, or with banana egg rolls really does the trick.

I’ll skip the last part about flood zone fortune cookies.

.

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Sam’s Notary BBQ
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Scribbles: A Notary Comedy Club
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May 21, 2015

Scary Movie 37 for notaries

Filed under: Movie Themes — Tags: — admin @ 10:58 am

APRIL: Susan, let’s watch this Notary instructional video. It will show us how to get through the entire loan signing process. Then, we can take the “Notary For Show” certification exam.

SUSAN: I always wanted to do something for show. (puts tape in)

NOTARY: As you can see, we are gathered here today…. to teach….

APRIL: Oh my God, his face is melting.

NOTARY: You will die, but midnight unless you get a signed Affidavit…

SUSAN: Do you think he’s serious?

APRIL: I’ve seen movies like this where people really do die.

(The notary comes out from the screen and chases them around the house with his seal)

APRIL: Run!

NOTARY: No, don’t run. Just sign this form. Then my boss says I can leave you alone.

SUSAN: You believe him?

APRIL: Well, it’s better than being neutralized by his magical seal. (April signs the document)

NOTARY: Now, all hell will break loose.

APRIL: You mean you deceived us?

NOTARY: No, You’ll live now, but you’ll have to deal with the spirits from hell you just unleashed by signing this. It’s all part of the bargain.

APRIL: No, it isn’t.

SUSAN: She didn’t agree to this.

APRIL: No, it’s not that. The Notary never affixed his seal to the document. No seal, no spirits!

NOTARY: Good point. Okay. I’m filling in the certificate wording and affixing my seal. I’ll need to check your ID please. Done. Now, the spirits may haunt you — forever!!!!

(Notary disappears back into the television — spirits start flying around the room)

SUSAN: What do you spirits want

SPIRITS: Oh, we thought this was an audition for a part in Scary Movie 36.

SUSAN: No dummie, this is Scary Movie 37. You are a few years late.

SPIRITS: Well, you know how it is in the spirit realm. We lose track of time.

(Knock knock)

SUSAN: That’s probably someone in a ski mask with a chain saw.

SALESPERSON: Hello, you probably are wondering why I am selling life insurance to someone so young like yourself.

APRIL: We’re not buying. We don’t need life insurance.

SALESPERSON: Well, perhaps you should, because you never know when you will… what’s a polite way to put this.

SUSAN: Pass on?

SALESPERSON: That’s right. There have been a lot of murders in the neighborhood recently. Don’t you want your family to be taken care of if something unfortunate happens?

CHAINSAW GUY: I’ll kill you!

SUSAN: I knew he would show up. Let’s run into the street.

APRIL: Thank God, that hearst will see us and save us.

(both jump into the Hearst)

DEAD PERSON: Which way are you headed

APRIL: Aren’t you afraid? He’s dead!

SUSAN: Better dead than the guy with the chainsaw. Take us to the county clerk. We need to check on some notary record archives. The notary who notarized something for us… Well, how can I put this politely.

DEAD PERSON: Did he pass on? And his journals were delived to the county clerk’s office?

SUSAN: Wow, you are the smartest dead person I have ever met.

DEAD PERSON: Now, keep your eyes open. Watch for the locust infestation.

SUSAN & ALICE: Ahhhhhhhhh! Help!!!!

.

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Dumb and Dumberer for Notaries
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Honey, I notarized the kids
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May 16, 2015

New Signing Co’s

Filed under: New Signing Companies — Tags: — admin @ 12:46 pm

May New Signing Companies

XP Notary
One notary claims they are nice to work for.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6642

Global Title Services
One notary had to threaten a small claims action.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5760

Skysail
One notary was removed from their list for working for another competitor. Bizarre. I’ve never heard this before.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6009

Global Equity Finance
One Notary just had a smooth signing with this company.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6751

Superior Abstract & Title
One Notary just did a VA for this company. Read all about it.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6839

Phynix Management Group
One Notary got paid within 30 days from this company.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6811

.

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Follow instructions OR get results?
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May 15, 2015

Dumb and Dumberer for Notaries

Filed under: Movie Themes,Popular on Linked In — Tags: — admin @ 8:15 am

Harry and Lloyd set out to become notaries. Little did society (or the county clerk) know that they would be the dumbest notaries in human recorded history.

HARRY: I just got my new notary stamp.

LLOYD: Don’t forget to lick the stamp before you use it.

HARRY: Ha! I’m already ahead of you, my friend. (Sticking out tongue and revealing indented tongue from embosser.)

LLOYD: (sticking out his tongue) No, you’re not. I licked your notary stamp first!

HARRY: Ewwww. That means I licked where your tongue already was.

LLOYD: Ewwww.

HARRY: Hey, I’m going to my first notary assignment tomorrow. Wanna come for moral support and tips?

LLOYD: I guess. But, why do I have to tip you if you’re doing the job for someone else?

(at the assignment)

SAMANTHA: Thanks so much for coming. It’s so hard to find a Notary at the last minute.

HARRY: It’s the last minute?!!! Oh no, we’re all going to die!!!!

SAMANTHA: It’s a figure of speech. There will be other minutes.

LLOYD: Oooh. Pretty… and smart!

(Harry had Samantha sign the journal inside the book cover like an autograph. Then he attached a certificate to the documents. He wasn’t sure if Samantha was a guy or a chick, so he crossed on the he/she/they, used white out and wrote “it” in handwriting. What a dumb thing to do.)

HARRY: Done!

LLOYD: Aren’t you forgetting something?

HARRY: Oh yeah… (he licks his stamp after he affixed it. Luckily Samantha was too dumb to know the difference)

SAMANTHA: Thanks so much. I might need help next week with a lien.

HARRY & LLOYD: We’re good at that — watch this. (they both lean, bracing themselves against the wall.)

SAMANTHA: And a Quaker friend will need a notarization with an Oath.

HARRY: No problem. I’ll bring a box of them!

(The next day, a call came in from Dave who needed a notary for his Affidavit of Statute of Limitations for his Attorney) In looking up Harry’s profile, he noticed he’d written that he was a hard worker and had a professional misdemeanor.

DAVE: Hi, I’ll need a Notary. Can you meet me in the park for the notarization? It’s near my Attorney’s office.

HARRY: Your attorney lives in a park? Cool! I know this great fountain where we can meet.

(They both arrive. At the fountain where there is a statue)

DAVE: I’m so glad you could help. Here’s my document.

HARRY: Document? I already did the work, dude. See my seal over there? It’s on the statue of limitations. It was hard to find a clean spot next to all the bird droppings. Maybe that’s why it’s so limited. The person assigned to keep it clean is also limited if you ask me.

DAVE: What? You birdbrain!

HARRY: Thanks! Not that I’m smart enough to crap on a statue.

(The third day, he did a notarization for Luke)

HARRY: Okay Luke, you called for Quaker oats, and I brought you two boxes. Wanna warm some up?

LUKE: No Harry, I didn’t want Quaker Oats, I wanted Quaker Oaths.

HARRY: Oh, so that’s the part of the manual I read wrong. Let me get my hat. Okay, now swear.

LUKE: That’s not how it’s done. I’ve been to many notaries before.

HARRY: So, how do you do an Oath? This is my first commission, and probably my last if I don’t get suspended or held back a year.

LUKE: You start by asking a question, like, do you swear that you agree to the terms in this agreement?

HARRY: Do, I &%$-ing swear to agree to the &%#-ing terms in your &$#-ing agreement? I &%#-ing do swear!

LUKE: It’s not that kind of swearing, it’s the type of swearing like when you swear to tell the truth.

HARRY: Ohhhh. Well, I &%$-ing do swear to tell the &*$%-ing truth.

LUKE: I also need a Will notarized.

LLOYD: And a way?

LUKE: A way to notarize the will?

LLOYD: Where there’s a will, there’s a way! Here’s something I never got about legal documents. If there’s a will, why isn’t there also a won’t?

HARRY: Because they won’t want a Won’t — that’s why they call it “Won’t.”

LLOYD: Oh, that actually kind of makes sense.

HARRY: Okay, anything else?

LUKE: I heard that you could do e-signatures too?

HARRY: No, I don’t mess with that. I heard some Notary dude got electrocuted doing an e-signature. I saw a picture of him in the paper with his hair all frizzled. That’s a “don’t try this at home” type of notarization.

LUKE: Okay, thanks.

(The fourth day, they were asked to help sign a loan. The loan docs were late, so Harry took matters into his own hands.)

HARRY: What are the documents supposed to be in a loan?

LLOYD: Well, there is a Deed. So, we could do a Deed. Then there’s the Note. I have a note from my gym teacher saying I’m not fit to play volleyball. And if they don’t like that, I have this G# I lifted from music class. There is a Right to Cancel too. I could draw that up on my computer. Then, there is a HUB. I could bring the hub cap that’s been sitting on the corner for about a week. Here, help me. I want to put all of this in a box so we’ll be prepared.

HARRY: Lloyd — you’re the greatest friend a guy could have! And one of the smartest, and most prepared friends too!

LLOYD: If a smart guy like you thinks so, it must be true!

.

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The interview
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Bond. Notary Bond
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May 13, 2015

Notary Ambulance

There was a Notary in New York who wanted to be important. He was always overlooked. The only think people wanted was a $2 notarization. How are you supposed to survive in New York on $2 even if you do a few dozen Notary acts per day? He did loan signings and got the usual fee, but wanted something more. He thought for days about this perplexing problem and then came up with something. If he could get to his appointments earlier, then he could do more work every day, and maybe even get respect.

So, the Notary drove around and thought. The more he drove the more he thought and the more he thought the more he drove until it came to him. An ambulance was behind him and in a huge hurry. He saw through his rear view mirror the words Ambulance. Hmmm. The Notary had an idea. He would write the word NOTARY on a sign on his roof in mirror image writing so when someone saw it in their rear view mirror, they would know to get out of his way. There was only one thing he was lacking — a siren. This Notary didn’t want to get locked up. If you use a siren, that might be considered impersonating an emergency vehicle which might mean jail time. So, this Notary practiced doing verbal sirens.

Finally the day came when his Notary sign was complete, and he had perfected his siren impression which he learned to do by attending a comedy workshop. Yes, the same comedy workshop that sponsered the hit series, Notary Suicide Hotline. He was ready to go out into the world. So, he drove down the streets of New York, he did his siren. Everybody ignored him. The only people who paid attention were ones who laughed and made wise cracks about his funny looking sign and funny looking old car. Oh well. This Notary tried, and failed. But, at least he used his creativity!

But, then one day, he was driving along, and someone saw his sign in his rear view mirror. That person pulled up next to him and said, “Hey, I need a Notary… what do you charge?” He said he had a $50 minimum for traveling gigs. Well, this customer wanted to only pay $2 per signature, but had 1000 signatures, and would pay $100 each fifty signatures, and would pay in cash in advance. The Notary had struck it rich. The Notary went to the job, got paid cash, and laughed his way to the bank.

So, the moral of the story is, if you try different creative approaches to solving business problems, you never know what will happen!

.

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May 11, 2015

Here is an easy way to make $4000 more per year

Most notaries are complaining that there is not enough work to go around. They are right — there isn’t. However, there are certain people who get most of the work when there is work. The trick is to become one of those people. The listings that get the most work have a few reviews from satisfied clients, a great notes section, a company name, high placement, and last but not least — 123notary certification.

But, I don’t “Need” your certification. I’m already “certified!”
Unfortunately for you, the people who use our site do not reward notaries for being NNA certified. This is not my decision, it is theirs. NNA certified notaries on 123notary get no more or no less business than any of our other notaries. However, those certified by 123notary get 78% more clicks and more than double (2.5x) the new jobs (generated from our site) than those who aren’t. More than double sounds good to me.

From 3 jobs per week to 3 jobs per day
A few years ago when the economy was better, one notary raved to us that the minute he passed our certification test, he went from getting three jobs per week to three jobs per day. That is phenomenal, and a true story. His luck was considerably better than most other notaries, but statistically, the other notaries did quite well too.

15-100 jobs a year is average
Although the industry is slow, notaries with a p#10 preferential spot on 123notary get around 15-100 jobs per year based on people who we talk to in those positions. Those who get less than that either have already dropped out or will soon drop out. Consider that you are on the low end of the totempole getting 15 jobs a year and our certification helps you get 36 jobs per year. You would be making an additional $2000 per year as a result of your two hours of effort studying and taking our test. That is $1000 per hour assuming you drop out after a single year.

How would the average notary benefit from 123notary certification?
Let’s assume that the average notary stays on 123notary for three years which is somewhat true. The actual number of years for paying listings is around that level although free listings sometimes get removed prematurely if they have bad stats. Let’s say that our average uncertified notary gets 30 jobs per year from our site. Getting certified would raise that total statistically to 75 jobs which is 45 additional jobs which would account for around $4000 extra income in a year. So, multiply three years by $4000 and you get $12000.

Your time is worth $6000 per hour studying for our cert test.
Over the life of your career, the average notary would get $12,000 more income as a result of passing our test which takes about two hours in study time, plus a 6.5 minute online test. Two hours of your time will net you $12,000 in the next several years. It is like a goose that lays golden eggs.

But, you are busy.
What else are you doing that is more important? Many notaries are too busy to do something worth $6000 per hour and get offended when I mention that what they are doing “might” be slightly less important or valuable than studying for our test. What are you doing and what is the value of that work?

Studying for our test: $6000 per hour in long term financial benefit (before expenses)
Doing a notary job: $15-40 per hour (after expenses)
Daydreaming: Zero
Going to a birthday party: Zero
Cleaning house: Zero
Browsing Facebook: Zero

The bottom line is that you clutter your life with tasks which are not optimally valuable, so when an important task needs to be done, you simply don’t have time. My suggestion is that you schedule your other work around your important tasks, rather than putting off the important tasks, otherwise you’ll never get ahead. Schedule your study time in your calendar, make sure your passwords work, and just do it. It might be safer to schedule three non-consecutive days just in case you need more time or have technical difficulties.

.

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Compilation of certification posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16264

NNA signers who failed our test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=892

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May 6, 2015

The reset button on Mayan loans.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 10:54 am

According to the Mayan calendar, every 52 years a new cycle begins. All debts from the old cycle are forgiven. That sounds like it would have made life rought for Mayan Notary Signing Agents.

XIPIL: So, when is my last payment?

NOTARY: Ummm, it says here on this stone tablet that during the 18 months this year, you will have a payment at the beginning of each month, and then your last payment is later on in the Baktun.

XIPIL: I heard the Baktun doesn’t end until 4772 A.D.

NOTARY: Hmm, I can never figure out this Mayan rescission calendar. Hmmm, what does this symbol mean? Does it mean your debt will be ended or your life will be ended?

XIPIL: What’s the difference? My debt is my life, and if one ends while the other doesn’t, it may as well.

NOTARY: I think you would look good in blue paint, just like in that Mel Gibson movie. Did you see it?

XIPIL: No, I don’t go to movies much, but I heard it was good. Why do we follow this dumb calendar anyway?

NOTARY: I think ti makes life more interesting. The Christian calendar is, well, too predictable… and considerably less cosmic.

XIPIL: Yeah, I like the cosmic part. You know, looking thousands of years in the future and attaching some astrological meaning to the time period.

NOTARY: But, it says here, that every 52 solar years, all debts are forgiven.

XIPIL: Hmm, I think I have 17 years to go. So, if I am good, does that mean I own the property in full?

NOTARY: I think that according to the new Mayan law, you get your debt forgiven, but have to take out a new debt to pay off the last.

XIPIL: Kind of like a refinance on a cosmic level? I mean after all of the cycles of the Tzolk’in and Haab’ are over.

NOTARY: I guess so. I hope they will still need Notaries in that time period. I wonder if the calendar specifies that?

XIPIL: Well, I wouldn’t worry about that. If they don’t need or want notaries anymore, they will think of “other” things to do with you.

NOTARY: Other things? But, I am not good at anything else. I would love to learn stone engraving though.

XIPIL: I don’t think it matters if you don’t know how to do anything else.

NOTARY: Are you implying that they would sacrifice me?

XIPIL: It is a possibility.

NOTARY: Where is Cortez when you need him?

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You might also like:

The Mayan rescission calendar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15096

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May 5, 2015

Ways notaries can lose clients

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 12:38 pm

We have thousands of notaries on our site. For the most part, very few ever get in trouble for anything. But, sometimes they do, and here are some ways they do it.

(1) Posting slander on social media
In this age of the internet, power has been given to the people. The little guy can stand up and state his mind and others can hear what he had to say. The downside of this is the many people have engaged in a lot of slanderous activities on the internet which has compromised the integrity of the information out there. There are many false accusations and people who vent their frustrations on legitimate businesses. Well many businesses including signing companies are fed up. If you post slander about them, and they figure out who you are (yes, they are watching) you could get blacklisted. Additionally, they might have friends at other signing companies who could blacklist you too. Keep in mind that notary forums are very valuable places for notaries to share experiences with companies. Most signing companies out there are less than exemplary as you well know. So, without sharing information, other notaries have no way to protect themselves. But, by overdoing it, you are endangering yourself, especially if you use a trackable account! (gulp)

(2) Giving opinions about the loan
How stupid is that? You are not there to give opinions, you are there to get the loan signed. Sometimes a borrower is being charged too much interest and you know they are being ripped off. It is not your place to say anything. They had their chance to ask their Attorney and do their research. This is what the borrower chose. Let them deal with it. Notaries often have a soft spot for the elderly and I don’t blame them. The elderly and very poor people tend to get ripped off the most in today’s society. One notary told an elderly person that the lender was ripping her off. I heard about this first hand from the notary, and the notary was right. It is questionable if what the notary did was ethical. Yes, she was protecting an elderly person, but she was sabotaging someone else simultaneously as well as her own career. I would make up your mind before you go out on a single closing what to do if you suspect someone is getting ripped off. Do you say anything or keep your mouth shut? On the other hand, I do recommend pointing to terms in the contract if you know where they are and making sure the borrower reads and understands them — especially if they are the vulnerable type. That way you guide them to protecting themselves rather than saying the wrong thing and getting your head chopped off!

(3) Not following directions
If the loan is to be signed Sally S Smith, and Sally’s ID says Sally Smith, you might need a Name Affidavit, but if you don’t sign the way the Lender asks, the loan has to be redrawn and resigned! If the Lender says no cross-outs and you do a single cross-out, the loan has to be signed all over again on a different day. You are causing a serious problem and the borrower could lose their lock. You could be causing thousands in damages by failing to follow easy directions. If there is a problem and you are asked to call Chad, but you call Title instead, you are likely to get fired. Often there are written instructions for how to sign the loan. Follow these as well as oral instructions. Keep out of trouble. There is enough trouble in loan signing without you causing even more trouble!

(4) Dressing unacceptably
I was just reading a forum discussion yesterday. A lady was asking if it was all right to wear shorts to a signing. Of course the answer is that it is not all right! Try to wear business attire. Jeans are not recommended, and shorts are out. Try to have your hair nicely cut and combed, wear formal shoes, and look like you work for a law office or bank even though you don’t. In a sense you do work for a Title company even if it is as a subcontractor. So, look the part. It doesn’t make a difference to the quality of your work how you look, but people often get upset when you don’t look the part.

(5) Failing to get docs back on time
It is not rocket science how to get documents back on time. If you take them home when you are done, you might forget or get busy the next day. If you wait to apply your seal until after you leave the signing, you might forget. Get the documents in the box in a manned (or womanned) Fedex station the night of the signing. Drop boxes are risky. Put in that extra effort to make sure that all works out correctly by avoiding situations where you might forget to drop the documents, or a particular box might not be serviced. I went for several years with no incident, and then there was one time when my Fedex was in the box for a week in Koreatown. They had a new driver who didn’t realize that box was on his route. Ooops. I got blamed for his mistake, so be vigilant and take precautions! Make sure the package gets to them — or else.

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