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October 14, 2018

INDEX — Best Notary Comedy Articles 2010 to 2014

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Compilations — admin @ 11:42 pm

These posts are in order of popularity and quality.

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Funniest things that happen to signing agents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=55

The signing from hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=765

A social media site for Notaries — Affiant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Seinfeld episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

Notary Apps for the iPhone 7 you’ve never dreamed of
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10977

Vampire Notaries: 24 hour service
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4094

3 Notaries walk into a bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3660

Family Guy — Peter joins ISIS by mistake & needs Notarized conversion
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10507

Notary accidentally gets arrested for robbing a bank?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6541

The Notary, The Mafia & The Fedex Drop Box
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6867

My Date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4473

Signing with Invisible Ink
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9688

Two and a half Notaries! A Notarization experience
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8974

If a pizza can get there in 30 minutes or less, why not a notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8699

If you are a VIP Notary, read this!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9235

Signs you are a Notary workaholic
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8935

Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

Welcome to the Notary Hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

Notarizing a girl’s phone number at a bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8781

The Signing and the Mistress
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8377

Honey, I notarizd the kids
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7030

Getting acupuncture for notarial schlerosis
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7160

Two and a Half Notaries — detering Notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

Notary Cheers: Sammy gets a name change form notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

The Mannequin Signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3178

Two Notaries assigned the same job
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1060

The Alaska Real Estate Broker & The Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6623

Is this man a Notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10171

A 2nd date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7074

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October 7, 2018

Index of best posts about Notary Marketing

Filed under: Compilations,Marketing Articles — admin @ 2:48 am

Here is our index of best posts about Notary marketing

Notary Marketing 102 — a comprehensive course
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19774

Best marketing resources for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16322

10 rules for negotiating notary fees
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19620

Links to posts about Snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=snapdocs

$300 in 13 minutes. How Carmen cleans up in the Notary business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19284

Which notary directories get higher paying signings?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19201

If you were hiring a notary, what would you look for?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16750

Strategies for efficiency in the Mobile Notary business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18913

How to write a notes section if you are a beginner
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16698

For background checks, NNA & Sterling come recommended
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18835

A comprehensive guide to Notary pricing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16504

What is a high placed listing on 123notary worth?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16720

Which is more important?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17522

Does knowledge matter any more as a signing agent?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19887

Answering the phone and then not wanting to talk
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19640

Names for Notary businesses that can get you into trouble
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19064

Following directions – what’s the big deal?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19600

The 24 hour icon and what it means
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19455

How do Notaries decide what a fair fee is?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19236

How to make a good first impression
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19130

You want to get paid well as a Notary, but do you merit a good rate?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16687

Do you appear more professional if you have a website?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16710

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October 2, 2018

Facial recognition techniques can help you spot a fake ID

Filed under: Identification For Being Notarized — Tags: — admin @ 12:43 am

Newer identification cards have easily recognized security features such as raised lettering, microprinting, embedded images or holigraphic images.

However, you can feel the ID for raised lettering which is a sign of forgery. You can also feel the edges of the ID to see if layers have been added. If there is overlapping lettering, laser perforated images, or peeling lamination, you probably have a fake.

According to the blow linked NNA article, Notaries failed to spot a fake ID 28% of the time. According to me, this is why you take journal thumbprints as the thumbprint is definitive proof of identity.

You can analyze the signer’s facial features as hair styles and colors could have changed since the ID was created (or since yesterday.)
Look at the shape of the ears
Check for dimples
Verify the ridges of the eyebrows (and hope they don’t shave their eyebrows.)

In my experience, identifying women is a lot harder than men. I also feel that it would be better to have formal courses for Notaries to spot fake ID’s as the entire point of our career is to positively identify people correctly.

Please visit this NNA link as well.
https://www.nationalnotary.org/notary-bulletin/blog/2016/08/using-facial-recognition-spot-impostors

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You might also like:

Scanning bar codes on an ID in Washington State?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19729

Notary Public 101 — Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19507

Identification requirements for being Notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4299

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September 16, 2018

Compilation of Stories on the blog categorized.

Filed under: Compilations,Stories — Tags: — admin @ 8:19 am

Here is a more organized way to reference Notary Stories.

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TOP
Notary airport
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17062

Racial issues at a signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19220

I’d rather stop being a notary than carry a gun
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15896

The Notary union raises it’s rates and alienates notaries!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19648

Notary STARBUCKS – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18926

Carlette’s Signing Story
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19020

The sexting notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19727

What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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DRAMA

Why Notaries don’t last
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4087

Notarizing for an adoption
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3267

Artificially inflated rates at a signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16128

We are a notary directory and therefore should not discuss certain topics
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20073

The Illinois Notary who got kicked off Notary Rotary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20084

The signer who passed out and slid under the table
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15810

A psycho client goes nuts on me today
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14199

Two guys with the same name; One cashed the other guy’s check!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16102

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CRIME & DANGER (physical or financial)

Murder in a building a week before the signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19272

Notarizing a kidnapper
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=676

One of our notaries helped put three dangerous felons away!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19471

Reverse Blackmail at a notary signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7071

Stealing a business name
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2660

The Notary Police
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19702

We caught some frauds who stole credit info at a hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20090

Have you ever been tempted not to go into a borrower’s house?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15369

The Notary, The Mafia & The Fedex Drop Box
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6867

A Notary gets sued and E&O won’t help out!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2910

Notary in Louisiana murdered in home invasion
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=925

Compilation of mafia related posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20352

Two Notaries with the same name
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19100

The mafia guy who could make witnesses disappear
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17013

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GENERAL STORIES

The Notary union raises it’s rates and alienates notaries!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19648

Notary STARBUCKS – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18926

Carlette’s Signing Story
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19020

What is your favorite notary password?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19224

A notary complains about the instructions
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19733

The stolen loan package
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15395

Demographics in the notary business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15359

Those who do not login don’t do well on tests either
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19720

A Notary finds a document notarized by Jeremy in 2001
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19338

Why you don’t want to be a notary in NW New Mexico
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18972

Notary university
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17039

Notary Jury Duty
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15838

Don’t ask don’t tell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17037

The notary corporation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17032

If you can notarize here, you can notarize anywhere!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16998

Here is how your home will be drained of its equity
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18924

I’ve been doing this 20 years
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19910

How Piano lessons changed my life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19891

The secret to happiness – it’s all in your mind
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19604

Monsanto genetically modified Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19288

I have a dream
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19207

The Notary Model
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19286

The Frustrating 4 hour signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15760

Welcome to the notary casino
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15255

Notarizing a tax preparer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15014

$400,000 cash at a signing. Can I have some?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16130′

A political party that represents me
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20024

It’s only temporary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20106

Unfriendly cities are the best place to get work done
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20032

I was forced to forge my own signature in India
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20036

A Notary was in court due to a suspicious marriage
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20034

A dream about a Notary seal and a journal sandwich
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19893

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123NOTARY

My best 100 days and Carmen’s worst
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20030

All about 123notary

All About 123notary

2016 timeline – a year in review

2016 Notary Timeline – a year in review

Jeremy’s bucket list

Jeremy’s bucket list

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September 14, 2018

Compilation of posts about SnapDocs

Filed under: Compilations — Tags: — admin @ 7:07 am

I put these posts generally in order of popularity, but there are a lot of newer posts who don’t have much in terms of click analytics yet.

Snapdocs – what we’ve learned about their notaries

Snapdocs, this is what we’ve learned about their Notaries

Snapdocs wants to sell shares on Shark Tank

SnapDocs wants to sell shares on Shark Tank

Opinions about Snapdocs in the forum & blog comments

Opinions about Snapdocs in the forum & blog comments

I felt like I was being used (Snapdocs assignment)

I felt like I was being used (Snapdocs assignment)

10 ways to “deal” with Snapdocs

10 ways to “deal” with SnapDocs

Who and what is Snapdocs?

Who and what is Snapdocs?

Snapdocs business model doesn’t add up

Snapdocs’ Business Model Doesn’t Add Up

Snapdocs — thumbs up or thumbs down?

SnapDocs — thumbs up or thumbs down?

Snapdocs is a bigger operation than I thought

SnapDocs is a bigger operation than I thought

More on Snapdocs — the Uber of the Notary industry

More on Snapdocs, the Uber of the Notary industry!

Is Snapdocs a serious threat to 123notary?

Is Snapdocs a serious threat to 123notary?

Snapdocs – their profiles are getting more impressive, but…

Snapdocs – their profiles are getting more impressive, but …

FASS to use Snapdocs

Fass to use Snapdocs

What has your experience with Snapdocs been like?

What has your experience with Snapdocs been like?

Snapdocs has a new feature for bank auto pay within 30 days

SnapDocs has a new feature for bank auto pay within 30 days

If everyone complains about Snapdocs, why do they continue to grow?

If everyone complains about Snapdocs, why do they continue to grow?

Snapdocs has a good algorithm… but… (200)

Snapdocs has a good algorithm, but…

Snapdocs grew tremendously in 2016, but Notary Rotary shrank

Snapdocs grew tremendously in 2016, but NotaryRotary shrank!

The Uber principal at snapdocs — new blood!

The Uber principle at Snapdocs. New blood!

Snapdocs – do they cater to the fastest or the best(est)?

Snapdocs – do they cater to the fastest or the best(est)?

Snapdocs has an adjustable radius… should 123notary do the same?

Snapdocs has an adjustable radius — should 123notary do the same?

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Compilation of Posts about Notary Fraud

Filed under: Compilations — Tags: , — admin @ 7:04 am

Here are some posts about Notary Fraud

13 ways to get sued as a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19614

10 risks to being a Mobile Notary Public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19459

2011 – Penalties for misdeeds and misconduct (most popular of all)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2067

2018 – Penalties for Notary misconduct, fraud and failure of duty
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

2012 – Fraud and forgery in the notary profession
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2294

Notary loses $4000 because fraud adds name to the notary certificate
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19477

An identity fraud case in Florida with 13 defendents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19449

It could cost $20,000 in legal fees if you are named as an identity theft conspirator
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19481

Notary fraud discussed in the 30 point course
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14514

We caught a bunch of frauds using notary verbiage
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7096

The FBI is at your door and names you as a suspect!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20013

Two and a half Notaries: Detering Notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

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September 10, 2018

Compilation of posts about Notary etiquette

Filed under: Compilations,Etiquette — Tags: , — admin @ 9:12 am

Here are some posts about etiquette.

Notary Etiquette from Atheist to Zombie
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13718

Borrower Etiquette from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2995

Notary Marketing 102 Phone Etiquette
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19764

Notary Etiquette from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=300

What do you lose by being short with someone when you answer the phone
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16754

Do you ramble? What do your clients think?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4122

The Notary who called me back to tell me she couldn’t talk
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4098

Don’t answer the phone by saying “Hullo?”
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16576

Thank you, Excuse me, I’m sorry
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8882

Always be helpful
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15429

You lose $37.50 each time you don’t answer the phone
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16562

The joy of repeat clients
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9794

Dress British Think Yiddish
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8643

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August 30, 2018

Notary Public Information


Notary Public


If you would like general information about the Notary world, read this! There are many things to know about the Notary world from how to become a Notary, how to find one, and the particular types of jobs and Notary acts Notaries do (or commit.) We will try to elaborate on all of this information below.

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Become a Notary Public

To become a Notary Public requires contacting your state’s Notary division. Most states have rules for who can become a Notary.

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No felons allowed!
You generally have to be free of felony convictions or of convictions of crimes that involve moral turpitude such as fraud.

Residency requirements
You should be a legal resident of the state you want to be commissioned in as a general rule, although some states allow residents of neighboring states who work in state.

No citizenship requirements
You generally do not need to be a US citizen, although you should be able to read, write and speak English well.

You need to be 18 or older in most if not all states.

State Notary Divisions Contact Info
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1941

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What do Notaries do?
Notaries can perform a short variety of Notarial acts which can differ from state to state. These acts include performing Acknowledgments, Jurats, Oaths, Affirmations, Proofs, and some states allow Copy Certification of Powers of Attorneys or other documents, Witnessing, Safety Deposit Openings, Protests for non-payment of bills and more. Let’s focus on understanding the more universal acts first.

Acknowledgments — A Notary Public may notarize an Acknowledged signature which is a signature that a signer acknowledged signing. This involves the signer presenting a signed document to the notary, signing the Notary’s journal, and presenting current government issued photo ID to the Notary. The rules may differ from state to state, but this is a general description. Read more…

Jurats — A Notary Public may execute a Jurat which would involve the signer or Affiant (one who swears under Oath or signs an Affidavit) to sign and swear to the document in the presence of the Notary Public. Read more…

Oaths — Notaries can administer (supervise) Oaths as well. Oaths are by definition part of the Jurat procedure for Oaths on documents. But, Oaths can also be done for remote court attendance for Florida Courts by Notaries and Oaths on oral statements. Read more…

Affirmations — Affirmations are similar to Oaths. Affirmations are also formal statements made under the legal penalty of perjury, but do not use the traditional verb “swear” or the term “under God.” In an Affirmation you affirm on your honor rather than to a higher power. Read more…

Proofs of Execution — Proofs are an unusual Notary act that cannot generally be done for important documents. But, the signer can sign in front of a subscribing witness (a person who sees them sign) and then the witness can appear before the Notary and have the Notary fill out a certificate indicating the same. Read more..

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Notary FAQ

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Q. How long is a Notary term?
A. The term for Notary Public is generally from 3 to 10 years and is up to the state. Louisiana commissions Notaries for life.

How long is a Notary term? — http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4606

Q. What is a Notary’s jurisdiction?
A. Normally, a Notary can notarize in any county of the state(s) they are commissioned in. Louisiana commissions either statewide or to their home parishes plus reciprocal parishes. There are a few exceptions nationally to this rule, and military Notaries have a very different type of jurisdiction that you can look up.

Q. Can a Notary get in trouble?
A. Notaries who break the law, make errors filling out forms, or don’t keep a journal can get in big trouble with the law, and even be treated like a suspect in identity fraud if they don’t leave a good paper trail. Notaries who cause damages to parties by upholding the law can get in trouble too if they don’t clearly explain the reason why they cannot offer services.

Q. What do I need to be notarized?
A. As a general rule, a current government issued Photo-ID, and a statement or document to be notarized is all you need.

Q. How much does a Notary cost?
A. Notary fees are set by the states and Notaries can run anywhere from 25 cents to $15. You can look up Notary fees on state notary division websites. I believe that all states except North Carolina keep their information open to the public.

How much can a notary charge — http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=how-much-can-a-notary-charge

Q. How much does a Mobile Notary cost?
A. Some states have rules for how much a person can charge for travel fee. But, generally rates run from $25 to $60 for mobile fees plus the cost of the actual notarization.

Q. Can a notary notarize in a jail?
A. Yes, but you need to make sure the inmate can be identified in a way acceptable to the state where he/she is incarcerated.

Jail Notary Jobs from A to Z — http://blog.123notary.com/?p=151

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Additional Helpful Links

Notary Public 101
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19493

How to become a successful Mobile Notary from scratch
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13340

Signing Agent Best Practices: 63 Points
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4315

Seven error free ways to identify a signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15288

Notary Vocbulary in our Glossary
http://www.123notary.com/glossary/

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July 20, 2018

What is a four letter word you have to use in the presence of a Notary?

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:51 am

Here are some questions to jog your memory.

What is a four letter word you use in the presence of a Notary that you don’t use in an Acknowledgment?
Oath

What is a five letter word meaning to put your stamp’s impression on a piece of paper?
Affix

Which Notary act has no signature and no God?
Affirmation

Which Notary act does the principal signer not need to show up?
Proof of Execution

Which Notary act makes you prove that the principal signer was executed?
None, but sounds like a proof of execution.

Which Notary act does not required signing the document in the presence of the Notary Public?
Acknowledgment

Which Notary act has a signed document as well as an Oath or Affirmation?
Jurat

Which profession has their clients swear without using any profanity?
Notary Public

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May 25, 2018

Psych episode — busting the Russian Mafia with help of a Notary.

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 11:06 am

Psych Episode — custom’s agent is dead, but who is the killer?

SHAWN: We have a new assignment. But, we might need Lassie’s help.

GUS: I hate working with him, that arrogant prick.

SHAWN: But, we need him. We work well together. A custom’s agent is dead. It is up to us to find the killer. But, it’s still unclear how he died and who killed him if anyone.

(Shawn and Gus go to see Woody for the autopsy)

WOODY: Still working on it. Oh, wait.

SHAWN: Wait a second (putting finger to his head), I’m getting something. Yes, I’m definitely getting something. The spirits are telling me something. The custom’s agent did not die peacefully… he was injected with something, but what?

WOODY: Here it is. His inner thigh has needle marks. He could have been poisoned. I’ll have to send a sample to the lab.

GUS: Meanwhile, we need to investigate. We need to know who the last several people were to have seen Mike Williams, the custom’s agent.

(three hours later after seeing some police investigation files)

SHAWN: The last person to see the custom’s agent was Anatoly Kruscionov, a known mafia henchman. My senses are telling me he is the killer.

GUS: Don’t you mean Kruschevnov?

SHAWN: No, it’s Kruscionov.

GUS: Shawn, I’m pretty sure it’s Kruschevnov, I know the name..

SHAWN: What are you eating?

GUS: Cheeze bits.

SHAWN: They look more like Cheetos.

GUS: That’s because that’s what you want to eat right now. It’s psychosematic.

SHAWN: No, you’re psychosematic.

GUS: I am not!

SHAWN: Are too!

LASSITER: Gentlemen. May I disrupt your valuable dialogue here for a moment? Anatoly Kruscionov is leaving the country in three hours. We absolutely have to get to his office before his limo picks him up. We haven’t a minute to spare.

(all three get in the car and rush to Anatoly’s office)

NOTARY: Now, please sign my journal right here? Hey, why are you looking at the other entries?

ANATOLY: I was only staring at the page. (jotting something down)

NOTARY: Just out of curiosity, what’s your sign?

ANATOLY: Me, I am Leo.

NOTARY: That’s not what your ID says, It says you were born in January — busted!!!!

ANATOLY: Hey you try to trick me. But, now I know address of guy who cheated me, I learned from your Notary journal, you lousy backstabbing Notary.

LASSITER: We are from the Santa Barbara Police Department and have a few questions for you.

ANATOLY: First of all, get out of here you lousy Notary. No travel fee for you. Next, Mr. Lassiter, I would love to speak to you, but I want to speak to Mr. Shawn Spencer…. alone.

SHAWN: Sorry, I never go anywhere without my sidekick Mr. Spock.

GUS: I’m not Spock, for the last time, my name is… Oh… Actually, who are we dealing with here. Hi, I’m Nelson Spock, pleased to meet you.

ANATOLY: (sends Lassiter out of room and locks the door.) Why do you fools chase me. Do you not know I am dangerous man?

SHAWN: We know, that’s why we came to see you. Danger excites us. We know that after you had a confrontation with Mike Williams, he ended up dead. You know, the custom’s officer. Could it be that he knew something about your operation that you did not want him to know?

ANATOLY: What operation?

SHAWN: Could it be that the twenty kilograms of heroine that are to be delivered in three days were discovered by Mike?

ANATOLY: How do you know this? That’s not supposed to come in for a week. Who told you?

GUS: You just did!

SHAWN: Busted!!!!

ANATOLY: You guys are dead. You tricked me. You and that Notary. Ugh… Now we play a little game. Put this gun to your head and pull trigger, otherwise my boys kills you.

SHAWN: He, this guy wants us to play Russian Roulette.

GUS: It’s not Russian Roulette unless the gun is a six shooter with one bullet in it. You don’t know how many bullets are in the gun.

SHAWN: Well if you don’t know how many bullets are in the gun, then it is Ukranian Show Down.

GUS: There’s no such thing as Ukranian Show Down!

SHAWN: Yes there is, I was reading about this online.

GUS: But, it’s not the same thing if someone has a gun to your head. Technically it’s still Russian Roulette

SHAWN: Is not

GUS: Is too, and that’s a far cry away from Siberian roulette which is a very different variation…

ANATOLY: ENOUGH!!!!!!! You two are idiots. But, you will be dead soon. Put gun to head… absolutnye idiot!!! Suca blatt!!!

(ring-ring)

SHAWN: Hey Woody, what’s up?

WOODY: It turns out that Mike was not murdered after all. He was a drug addict and he overdosed on regular Morphene. There are no other drugs in his system. Unless the killer knew he took morphene and wanted to make it look like an overdose.

SHAWN: Woody, we’re being held at gunpoint here, now is not a good time to….

ANATOLY: Enough!!!

SHAWN: We just found out that you are not the killer.

ANATOLY: I kill you any way.

(meanwhile Carlton Lassiter called for back up)

(HUGE CRASH — SBPD busts in)

LASSITER: Put your hands in the air. We have the place surrounded.

JULIET: No not you Shawn. Get over here.

SHAWN: Sorry, just an instinctive reflex.

NOTARY: Oh my God, look at all of the commotion. I would like to report that man. He is a very bad man and has a fake ID.

SHAWN: Oh, can you notarize something for Woody? An Affidavit of Autopsy?

NOTARY: I would, but my journal is being confiscated by the Secretary of State. They want to know about the criminal I notarized earlier today and also they think I am not keeping proper records.

JULIET: Let me see this… Oh my God? You didn’t put the document date? Such sloppy work. No wonder you are in trouble.

SHAWN: Hey Juliet, you aren’t supposed to look at that. It is under the exclusive care of the notary and must be kept under lock and key.

GUS: How come you know so much about Notary work.

SHAWN: I read, plus it’s always been an interest of mine. I heard that Notaries get to do jobs for interesting characters, many of whom are criminals like Johnny that British bloke we visited in jail.

GUS: The one who you imitated who knows where you live.

SHAWN: Good point. Maybe I should just stick to what I’m doing. And a tip for the Notary. Don’t go immediately home after this.

NOTARY: Why not, are Anatoly’s guys following me?

GUS: I think they are following all of us.

.

You might also like:

Psych Episode about a Notary. Did the body die from food poisoning or was it murder?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19397

Flashpoing – Notary job for a hostage with a multimillion dollar contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18798

Compilation of Notary sit-com episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

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