RAJ: You know. That entire notary experience was exhilerating.
LEON: I could go either way on that one.
PENNY: I liked it.
SHELDON: I don’t care how it makes me feel. But, can it make us sexy?
LEON: I guess it could. I would feel more in “control” if I could manipulate an inked seal type object with ease.
RAJ: Yes, that is the height of manliness. I agree. We should do this.
SHELDON: Do what?
RAJ: We should take notary lessons. I’m so awkward. We all are. But, who will teach us?
SHELDON: I know… Dora. Have you ever met Dora?
RAJ: I can’t remember
SHELDON: If you can’t remember, you’ve never met Dora. If you meet her once, you’ll never forget.
(Dora comes to teach them about notarization. She is tall, smooth, sexy, and has long flowing hair and very high heels)
RAJ: Hi D.d.d.d.dora!
DORA: Hi, what was your name again?
RAJ: You can call me Roger… or Raj, whiever you can pronounce. Not that you couldn’t pronounce either one, but if you prefer one over the other, you know you can…
DORA: I get the picture. I’ll stick to Raj. It has a sort of a ring to it.
SHELDON: Hi, Dora. We were wondering if becoming notaries, or learning about it would make us smoother around women? As you can see, we are a little bit awkward.
DORA: It couldn’t hurt. Personally, I feel that getting out of this cramped lab, and mingling with the world around you might be a better idea. But, as you wish.
LEON: So, what do we do first? Do you ID us?
DORA: Yes, but I was more interested in showing you how to use my stamp. That’s illegal of course, but not if we cross out the impression afterwards.
SHELDON: Oh, I’m very good at crossing things out. I made a career of that in high school.
DORA: Okay, now grab that seal like you mean it.
LEON: Uh, okay.
DORA: Now press down with it…. no.. not that hard. Do it with confidence. Just the right amount of pressure. Oh my God that looks Terr…iffic! It’s okay to smudge. It doesn’t detract from the meaning of the stamp (pause) so, long as the county recorder never sees it. Now, give me your thumb Sheldon.
SHELDON: What are you going to do with my thumb?
DORA: You’ll see. That’s good. Your thumb isn’t shaking like I thought it would (Sheldon’s entire body is shaking)
SHELDON: Will you give it back when you are done?
DORA: I’m going to ink you up
SHELDON: Oh, that sounds exciting. Ouch. What was that for?
DORA: I just affixed your thumb’s impression to a journal entry.
SHELDON: Oh. Very interesting. You can compare that to police records. Detectives do that a lot.
DORA: Somehow I don’t think that the police will have any records on you. Just a hunch.
LEON: You don’t know him too well. He has a record.
DORA: For unpaid parking tickets or something more serious like a broken tail-light
LEON: Should I tell her about the time that you failed to report a stolen electron?
DORA: Stolen electrons? Wow, you guys are regular felons! Now Leon, come over here, and we are going to fill out this Jurat wording.
DORA: No, a little closer… Now, what’s today’s date?
LEON: A date?
DORA: Today’s date.
DORA: It’s Feburary. Where have you been for the last week.
LEON: In this lab, honestly.
DORA: Okay, look on your i-phone.
LEON: (bashfully takes i-phone out of his pocket) It’s February 13th
DORA: You just put that date, right in here.
(30 minutes later)
DORA: I don’t think this notary stuff is going to make you smoother with women. But, I know a good therapist named Venus. Maybe she can help you.
SHELDON: With a name like Venus, how can we go wrong? How did you know we like people named after astronomical objects?
DORA: Just a hunch! See you guys!
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