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January 29, 2011

The Middle – Sue calls the notary about an Occupancy Affidavit

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 8:16 am

FRANKIE: We need a Notary for some dumb paper about our house. I can’t believe we need this! What a headache.

MIKE: I don’t even remember what a notary is. I wonder who could fill me in.

BRICK: Hmmm, I could look that up and tell you about it.

SUE: Oh, that’s so exciting. We’re being notarized! I don’t even know what that means, but I’m so excited. What is a Notary?

AXL: Who cares about some dumb notary. It’s probably a loser job for people who couldn’t make it doing a real job.

FRANKIE: Axl! Now, can’t you learn to be respectful about what people do? And by the way, with your grades, you’re not going to end up being anything wonderful until you clean up your act mister.

MIKE: We told him dozens of time. He’ll listen one day. It might be too late by then, but he’ll eventually listen.

BRICK: Hmmm, it says here that a Notary Public is an ancient profession that started in the Roman empire, and was used to protect the integrity of critical documents affecting business, property, other agreements, and more.

SUE: That’s so interesting! We’re going to do something the Romans did! Can I wear a toga when the Notary comes?

FRANKIE: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Although, maybe it depends on who the notary is and if he wants to stay for drinks after the notarization.

BRICK: Let’s see. It also says that in modern America, notaries are used to verify that the person signing a document is the person they claim to be by checking their identification, taking thumbprints for critical documents, and making document signers sign their journal, and also sometimes sign documents in their presence. This is very interesting. I think I’d like to take out a few books from the library on the subject.

MIKE: Now Brick, you already have more than a dozen late books from the library. Do you think you could return those before you get any more books?

BRICK: I could, but I’m not done reading those yet.

AXL: I think he’ll need to get a paper route just to pay for all of the late fines for all of the dumb books he reads.

FRANKIE: Well at least he has a high level of reading comprehension which is more than I can say for you. For your information, Brick has a reading ability six years ahead of his grade level.

AXL: Yeah, but have you ever seen him try to throw a football? To say he throws like a girl would be an compliment!

MIKE: Now, now. You and Brick are just different, and that’s okay — providing you do your homework, and put on a shirt.

AXL: Whatever…

SUE: So, when is the notary coming?

FRANKIE: I haven’t set up the appointment yet. It’s just for one document — the Occupancy Affidavit. It just says that we live in the house.

AXL: And you need an Affidavit for that? How lame!

BRICK: Let me know if I can help in any way. This whole notarization process fascinates me. If I stay up until midnight, I can finish my other books and then get a few books on notarization tomorrow from the library.

SUE: Can I help? I could call the notary and set up the appointment. Is that okay?

FRANKIE: I don’t see why not. Just make sure you confirm all the details with me.

SUE: (ring-ring) Hello? Like, are you a Notary Republic?

NOTARY: Well, uh, I’m a Notary Public. I haven’t declared statehood yet.

SUE: Ohhh… this is so exciting… Oh, sorry. Yes, well, my family needs a particular Real Estate document… a very official Real Estate document notarized. Can you come and help us in your very official capacity with our official document?

NOTARY: I officially can.

SUE: (putting hand on the mouthpiece) Oh, he can! He can! (taking hand off mouthpiece) That’s great. Can you come tomorrow?

NOTARY: Yes, I can… officially that is.

SUE: Great. see you then!

NOTARY: Wait a second. Don’t go yet. My fee is $50 including travel. I need to know the document being signed, who the signers are, your address, and if the signers are of sound mind and body.

SUE: Well, not everybody in this house is of sound mind and body, but the ones signing are! Mom and dad will be the signers and our address is 15 Bloomington Lane, Orson, Indiana. Just go to the cornfield, and turn left. You can’t miss it.

NOTARY: Tell mom and dad to have their current identifications ready for the signing. I’ll be there at 7pm!

SUE: Great! (hangs up) He’s coming! He’s coming! Tomorrow at 7pm. This is so cool. I’m telling all my friends at school.

FRANKIE: Just don’t get too excited if he’s cute, deal?

SUE: Deal, deal deal and a half!

FRANKIE: And you Brick, during the signing, please don’t bury your head in one of your books. Try to be what we like to call, “interactive!”

BRICK: Hmm? What?

FRANKIE: Never mind!


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