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January 13, 2017

The Notary Train

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:44 am

Welcome aboard the Notary (choo-choo) Train.
Today is going to be a busy day. We are traveling from Fort Stockton, TX to Tuc (choo-choo) son today. I wish you all a very nice trip. And since this is The Notary Train, if you need anything Notarized, you are in luck. We have in-house or in-train Notaries commissioned in Texas, New Mexico and Arizona just waiting to (choo-choo) help you.

10pm

ATTENDANT: Welcome aboard. May I see some ID please?

RALPH: Here it is. It is an official TX Driver License.

ATTENDANT: I’ll need a blood sample too.

RALPH: I thought you’d never ask. But, I don’t give that out to strangers. But, how about a thumb print?

ATTENDANT: A right thumbprint will do. I was just kidding about the blood samples. After all, a simple retinal scan would be just as good.

12:10am

RALPH: Hi, I need this document signed. And can you backdate?

TX NOTARY: Umm, isn’t that illegal?

RALPH: Never mind. I’ll ask the other Notary. HEY, I need this document Notarized.

NOTARY #2: When do you need it done?

RALPH: Yesterday!

NOTARY #2: No problem, we are about to cross through a time-zone change on our way to El Paso. Once we have passed it, it will be yesterday.

RALPH: So, you can backdate?

NOTARY #2: I won’t have to. In the mean time, let’s get some Notary snacks at the snack bar. How about a crepe with chocolate sauce that is dispensed from a leaky Notary Seal?

RALPH: Cool. Can I get bananas too?

NOTARY #2: Yes, but you cannot emboss them.

RALPH: Oh, too bad. So, who pours the tea around here?

NOTARY #2: Oh, we have an official TEA agent do that along with transporting blood samples.

RALPH: I love this train. I love it even more when you take a plane ride and arrive at your destination before you left your departure point. That’s a real brain teaser.

TEA AGENT: Can I offer you some tea, or a blood sample?

RALPH: Oh no, I stopped being a vampire years ago.

TEA AGENT: I didn’t, now you know why I love my job so much!

SALLY: Why is this train taking so long? I hope we get to Tucson before my commission expires.

TEA AGENT: Your commission never expires on The Notary Train baby! It’s good for life! By the way, you have a pretty neck.

SALLY: What kind of a psycho are you? Oh getting a phone call.

CALLER: I am trying to track down a particular Notary who did a signing for me in 1968.

SALLY: Well, on The Notary Train, we have lots of tracks if you want to do some tracking. But, you might have to call the Secretary of State. Good luck!

RALPH: I just love The Notary Train. It’s the only Notarial entity that is commissioned in one county and expires in an entirely different one. That’s a great concept — almost as good as reverse time travel.

NOTARY #2: Okay Ralph. Time to do your notarization without backdating. It’s 11:30pm Mountain Time on the 3rd now. Whip out those documents! It’s party time!

RALPH: Okay, let’s do the deed — I mean sign the deed. By the way, why is that guy staring at my neck still?

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January 8, 2017

Canada builds a wall and makes America pay for it

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 6:26 am

When Donald Trump initially started running for president people got concerned. When he won the primaries for being the Republican candidate, if you looked up “move to” on Google, it would automatically popular the phrase, “Move to Canada.” Now that Donald has won, many left wing types and minorities are extremely upset.

Some people’s upset feelings are so extreme, that many Notaries from Northern states made a run for it and temporarily relocated to Canada. But, they had trouble finding jobs, especially without a work visa. So, they resorted to using their Washington State, Montana, Idaho, Michigan Notary seals on the other side of the border which is not legal. The Canadian authorities were not able to deal with this sudden influx of desperate people and couldn’t keep up with enforcing Notary laws (since they didn’t understand the laws themselves.) So, they resorted to the most obvious solution — build a wall.

So, Canada is now constructing a wall specifically to keep Notaries, neo-Marxists, and rabid supporters of Hillary out — for good. But, Canada wants to make American Notaries pay for the wall. Spokespersons for American Notaries, Mr. Desmond Seal and Sally Close both claim that even if there are grounds for making American Notaries pay for the wall, the signing companies will have to start paying up, otherwise the Notaries won’t be able to pay their monthly installments.

Then, the government of Canada proposed the idea that American Notaries could become exempt from paying for the wall if they participate in building it. However, one Idaho Notary pointed out that building the wall might involve stepping out of Idaho into Canadian territory which would be out of his jurisdiction. Canadian officials retorted that if all Notaries thought like you — we wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place.

Meanwhile, Mexican Notaries are protesting and demanding that NAFTA be amended to allow those from Baja del Sur to notarize documents in California. We’ll keep you posted on developments. In the mean time, back to you Walter…

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January 6, 2017

Notary Purgatory

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 12:51 am

Notary purgatory

After a notary’s lived a not so exalted life (authenticating less than authentic documents) but not so awful life (remembering to replace his expired commission and milk) he may not be headed for heaven or hell but somewhere in between: Notary purgatory. It’s a temporary way station. The gates of heaven are on one side, gates of hell on the other. The hell of indecision is magnified here, so you’re undecided about which place you want to ultimately wind up in. Maybe you aren’t sure which destination you deserve, and maybe neither is God! You always get paid but never get paid that well. You always get clients but they always micromanage you. You start out writing a blog you think has possibilities and it winds up having zilch. Uh-oh, I’ve entered Notary Hell! In Notary Hell, what you get paid for in signings gets eaten up and then some by the cost of gas to get there.

In Notary Hell, you get bitten by the rabid dogs of clients. In Notary Purgatory, you get bitten by the clients. In Notary Hell, you witness your clients having sex. In Notary Purgatory, you witness your clients’ dogs having sex. In regular hell, you witness your parents having sex, but let’s not go there. In Buddhist Notary Purgatory, you’d witness 31 planes of existence. You’ll find Baskin-Robbins here, but the fact all 31 flavors are melted is more hellish than purgatory-ish.

In Notary Hell, the signers all use invisible ink and you don’t get paid. In Notary Purgatory, you do get paid but you spend it all on lottery tickets.

The only way to move from Notary Purgatory to Notary Heaven is to have a righteous state of mind. This may not apply, however, in the state of New Jersey.

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January 4, 2017

How Carmen dealt with some Alt-Right customers

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 7:49 am

Many of you do not know this, but in addition to doing sales on 123notary.com, Carmen is also a Notary. Carmen was chosen to help us here at 123notary because she knows the Notary and signing business inside out and has great oral communication skills. Carmen normally picks and chooses which customers she takes to avoid the riff-raff. But, this last drama was out of the ordinary.

(ring-ring)

PAUL: (on phone) Hi, my name is Paul, and we will need some documents Notarized at Maggiano’s.

CARMEN: Fine, I charge $50 travel fee plus $10 per Notarized signatures. I give a discount if you have more than five signatures.

PAUL: Well, we only have one, and we have cash, so you are in luck.

(Carmen drives to the Maggiano’s location)

GROUP: Hail Trump!!! (raising right arm to do Nazi type salute)

MAGGIANO’S STAFF: Oh, my God, what an embarrassment. We gave them a Cesar salad, they should be hailing Caesar, not Trump! Besides, what will our politically correct left-wing customers who control all of our thoughts and actions say?

CARMEN: I’ll tell you what they’ll say. For starters you need to screen your groups just the way Notaries need to screen their signing companies. Otherwise, there’s no telling what type of bozos you’ll get. Second, you need to take a closer eye on people. That’s what I do. The minute I see someone doing a Nazi salute — that’s a warning sign right there! If you’re not watching, you’ll find out after the fact!

PAUL: Hi Carmen, thanks for coming.

CARMEN: What type of group is this? Are you Gestappo Trump supporters?

PAUL: We are just trying to protect our legacy and inheritance.

CARMEN: I understand exactly how you feel — I’m trying to do the same — in my own way.

PAUL: By voting against Trump?

CARMEN: That’s one of my methods. Checking people’s ID’s is another. Let’s see some ID please.

PAUL: Here it is. You might not realize that’s me, because I had the photo taken during my skinhead days. I hope you don’t take offense at that.

CARMEN: That will do. And by the way, the problem is not the skin on your head. The problem is what’s under the skin. So, this is an Affidavit of protection for the motherland. A document that makes you swear to protect your land against all enemies foreign and domestic and not to abandon your cause for light and transient causes. Okay. Sign here!

PAUL: Got it.

CARMEN: Now, raise your right arm and say hail! Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth and that you will protect the motherland to the best of your abilities come hell, fire, damnation, or hail-storms?

PAUL: Hail… I mean, yes I do.

CARMEN: Okay, I’m affixing my official seal courtesy of the State of California. You can consider yourself legally Notarized.

PAUL: Here’s $80.

CARMEN: You only owe me $60.

PAUL: I know, but you’ll need some extra on the boat going back to you know where!

CARMEN: You racist!!! I can’t believe you said that! By the way, I had a dream about that boat. It was the longest boat ride of my life, and the only doctor on board was Dr. Pepper. What a bunch of loons! I’m so upset, I’m calling Jeremy to tell him what happened.

JEREMY: Yes Carmen

CARMEN: You wouldn’t believe what happened. I did a Notarization for Alt-Right, and (blah blah blah, etc.) I just wish I could press a magic button and have these people disappear.

JEREMY: Well you can. Just go to your computer and say, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home — and then click the keys CTRL-ALT-RIGHT-DELETE three times.

CARMEN: Okay, I’ll do that.. There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…. click… click.. click… Where am I?

TIM: You were just having a bad dream mom. It must be that whole Trump election and everything that’s going on in the news.

CARMEN: From now on, I’m being careful about who I notarize!

———————————-

The next job Carmen took was from Black Lives Matter

DeSHEA: Hi Carmen, I need 200 documents notarized for the cause.

CARMEN: I’m with you brother!

DeSHEA: When can you be here?

CARMEN: I’m on my way. I have a package rate of $50 travel, $10 per signature, and $5 per signature after you are on your sixth. But, for you, I will work for a package rate of $300 for the whole stack!

DeSHEA: You’re my kind of sister!

CARMEN: Okay, here I am.

DeSHEA: There’s a problem

CARMEN: What problem is that?

DeSHEA: We’re concerned that although you black, you ain’t black…. eeee-nuff.

CARMEN: Not black enough? How black I gotta be brutha?

DeSHEA: We do blood tests here from ancestry.com, and if you are less than 87% of Sub-Saharan African ancestry, you can not be affiliated with our group, nor can you work for us. I’m afraid this is a policy.

CARMEN: So, if I’m more than 13% something else, I can’t work for you? Oh my God. This Trump election is making people more crazy all around the country!

——————————-

Finally, a job offer comes in from Mulatto Lives Matter.

KIM: Carmen, we need your help for the cause.

CARMEN: I’m with you sister. I just had a horrible experience with the, “Let’s make America white again” group as well as the Black lives matter group who disowns you the minute you are 13% or more something else according to ancestry.com. I’m with you sister.

KIM: We we’re more flexible here. You can be 13.1 to 87.3% black and we will accept you over here. We need ten documents notarized.

CARMEN: I’m there.

KIM: In the mean time while we wait for the signers, would you like a vanilla latte in a zebra cup? It’s symbolic of our movement.

CARMEN: A vanilla latte… what? Next thing you’re going to ask me is if I want the whole cup or just 50-50.

KIM: Hi Carmen. Thanks for coming. There are ten different signers and not all of them can come at the same time, so you’ll have to wait.

CARMEN: I charge waiting time by the way at the rate of $20 per twenty minutes payable up front as well as my $50 travel fee.

KIM: Oh. I didn’t know that up front.

CARMEN: I didn’t know you’d keep me waiting all day up front either. You could have warned me.

KIM: Well, I don’t think we’re a good fit.

————————————

CARMEN: Jeremy, these’ political groups are killing me. They’re either racists, or completely irresponsible or both. The Alt-Right wants to deport me, but they sure tip good. The Black LIves Matter openly discriminated against me and Mulatto Lives Matter wanted to keep me waiting all day without any guarantee of payment. I think I was better off with the Alt-Right — at least they were on time and gave me extra, but I deleted them!

JEREMY: Carmen, I know how you feel. I’ve been through similar things in my life. Sometimes everybody is bad in one way or another, and it’s hard to figure out who NOT to CTRL-ALT-DEL. But, I have a solution. I call it, “The final solution.”

CARMEN: That’s sounds Nazi, but lay it on me.

JEREMY: The final solution is not to work for any of those groups. Work for ALT-123. We are even handed, moderate, and judge you by the content of your merit, and NOT by the color of your ink.

CARMEN: I heard that! Dr. King would be proud.

JEREMY: And Dr. Pepper too.

CARMEN: Dr. Pepper? Oh. I must have told you about my dream. Anyway. I’m going to take a nap now.

———————————-

(snooze)

CARMEN: Oh, no. I must be dreaming again. I’m on the boat. But, this time it’s worse. They’re out of Dr. Pepper which I’ve heard has healing properties. What will I do. Oh, there’s some people drinking Snapple. Can I have some Snapple?

TYZONE: It’s 13.1% juice.

CARMEN: First of all, how did you get that name? Did your mama give birth you in the bathroom of a pizza parlor when her car broke down on the way to the hospital? And Second — 13.1%? Am I allowed to drink Snapple if it’s 13.1% juice, or does it have to be under 13% juice, or under 13% something other than juice. I’m confused. Let me go to my computer.

TYZONE: There’s no computer on this boat baby.

CARMEN: I brought my own. CTRL-ALT-RIGHT-DEL…… ALT-123… There’s no place like 123!!!! Oh, that was fun, I want to do that again!

(Meanwhile Carmen drifts off again and has another dream. This time David Duke was on a refugee boat filled with Alt-Right people on a one-way journey to Europe while Carmen was on land in America watching him drift by.)

DAVID DUKE: Hey Carmen, two things. Can you toss a Dr. Pepper on board? And one more thing. Can’t we all just get along?

CARMEN: That’s exactly what I’ve been wanting to ask you all of these decades!

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December 31, 2016

Notary Santa

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:14 pm

Many Notaries are under the radar so to speak when it comes to doing Notary work. Some Notaries do not fill out forms properly and others are downright cheats. So much for those DOJ background checks. Can the FBI check your integrity with one of those checks?

Notary Santa on the other hand has a good grasp of integrity. He knows who has been what Jeremy calls, “Integritous.” He knows who has been a good or naughty Notary. Here is what you get!

When a Notary has been good he/she gets a new dual tray laser printer. They usually get one of the narrower ones not to save money, but because the larger models don’t fit down a chimney. Neither does Santa, but he only works out once a year. (And eats a lot of Ho-Ho-Hos.)

When a Notary has backdated, Notary Santa delivers gifts early in the morning on the 26th, but backdates the transaction. It is a kind of Notary karma.

When a Notary has committed fraud, Notary Santa offers them a choice between Trump’s clean burning coal in their stocking and reindeer poop. Some think Trump’s ideas on coal are full of another kind of poop, but that’s for another blog. Personally, I heard that the reindeer droppings make good fertilizer, so turn lemons into lemonade with this one!

It is generally a good idea to leave cookies in the shape of a certification seal for Santa.

JIMMY: Hi Santa — you’re real.

NOTARY SANTA: I am, el-ham du-li’llah. (Praise be to God in Arabic.)

JIMMY: How many more stops do you have?

NOTARY SANTA: Only two but I’m in a real hurry.

JIMMY: Why such a hurry?

NOTARY SANTA: I’m an Islamic Santa. I do it because it pays great. But, I have to get my sleigh out of the country byJanuary 20th, 2017 before you know who takes office insh’allah.

JIMMY: Oh… Well, he’ll need congressional approval to do anything drastic, so you have nothing to worry about… assuming…

NOTARY SANTA: That’s exactly it… It’s the assuming part. Assuming that nothing unexpected happens. Like showing up on Inauguration Day with a normal haircut. Or putting a normal-sized hand on the bible. Can you imagine what will happen when I get my sleigh back to Iraq? I’m not safe here in 26 days and my sleigh is not safe in my hometown. I think I’ll just have to hide out at the North Pole or in Canada. Ya’allah — problems.

JIMMY: I understand. Can I see some ID to make sure you’re the right Santa?

NOTARY SANTA: See ID? You’re already sounding like the Trumpster. Yeah sure kid. Here it is.

JIMMY: It says Notary Santa Fouzi Al-Housseini. That’s a strange name for a Santa.

NOTARY SANTA: It’s a typical Iraqi Santa name. If you ever come to Iraq (not recommended for the next 20 years) you’ll see many Santas with this type of name. Although we’re not exactly Saint Nicks.

JIMMY: If I fill out the Notary venue I’ll put — State of Disbelief. County of Lost IDgeles.

NOTARY SANTA: Ho! Ho! Ho!

JIMMY: You ate the last one… Last year I saw Santa kissing mommy. But, she was wearing a veil. I can’t figure that one out.

NOTARY SANTA: It must have been a different Santa. But, it is hard to ID people wearing a veil or burka. Common problem in my country.

JIMMY: I was gonna make a veiled reference to that.

NOTARY SANTA: See ya Jimmy. And just call me Santa Fouzi, not Santa Claus — he handles Arizona, I cover parts of California. We have kind of a route like USPS.

JIMMY: And you took a year to get here. Just like my mail.

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Notary New Year’s Resolutions (Suggested)

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:11 am

If you are a Notary, it behooves you to have a few New Year’s Resolutions. But, what would they be?

1. Re-ink your Notary seal

2. Check your mileage on your car and record it in a book for the IRS

3. Rewrite your notes section on 123notary.com and have Jeremy proofread it to make sure it is good.

4. Exercise more…. (in terms of discretion at Notary signings)

5. Ask for more reviews for your 123notary listing. The link to your review page is above your name.

6. Lose twenty signatures.

7. Pass the 123notary Certification exam. NNA’s certification doesn’t get you more work on 123, but ours does!

8. Appreciate life more.

9. Read more Notary blogs to enhance your knowledge whether you are a beginner or expert.

10. Brush up on your Notary terms. see our GLOSSARY for that.

11. Swear less off the job unless you’re under Oath

12. Call up your old clients who you haven’t heard from in a while.

13. Get listed on the databases of a few new signing or title companies.

14. Save up and buy a top spot on 123notary.com in your county!

Happy New Year’s!!!

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December 23, 2016

Flashpoint — Notary job for a hostage with a multimillion dollar contract

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 9:31 pm

Dave had a multimillion dollar contract for a very rare biotech machine that was one of a kind. He was to meet the buyer in a high rise downtown. But, Dave was taken hostage in the lobby 10 minutes before the signing. The subject (Tom) needed the machine to save his brother who was dying of a rare disease.

TOM: (Pointing gun) Drop the briefcase and come with me.

DAVE: I can’t, this is a very important contract.

TOM: I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.

SECURITY: Help, 911, there’s a man with a gun. Send a strategic response team immediately!

TOM: Drop your cell phone and slide it over to me. Now, Dave, I need that machine you’re selling for my sick brother. I have no choice. I have to do this. Let’s go upstairs to where the buyer is waiting.

.

You might also like:

The Opposite: How George Costanza changed his Notary career
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17017

Shark Tank: 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16021

Compilation of Notary sit-com episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

.

(The two of them go upstairs)

NOTARY: Hi, I’m the Notary, and by the way, did you find me on 123notary.com?

TOM: I wasn’t the one who made the call.

DAVE: Yes you were.

NOTARY: Oh great, can you write a review for me on my listing.

TOM: This is not the time to be talking about reviews (waving gun around.)

NOTARY: Oh, did you want me to notarize your gun?

TOM: NO. I want the biotech machine to save my dying brother.

(ring ring)

TOM: Don’t answer that. I’ll get this.

GREG: Hi, this is Sargeant Greg Parker from the strategic response unit. I understand you have a hostage up there.

TOM: Yes Greg, we do.

GREG: That was a smart thing to do, taking a hostage. That really changes the game.

TOM: What are you, a professional negotiator?

GREG: Yes Tom, that is what I am. I’m here to try to work out your situation. Would you mind telling me your name?

TOM: Um, I can’t. I didn’t want to do this. I just need the machine to save my dying brother. I’ve never done anything like this (waving gun) Stand back!

GREG: Is the machine in the building where you are?

TOM: They won’t tell me where it is. And even if I have it, I don’t know how it works.

GREG: Sounds like one of the guns our team uses that’s in storage. I don’t know where it is, or how it works. If I press the wrong button, only God knows what will happen.

TOM: What?

(crash — Jules rams the door and barges into the room)

JULES: Put your weapons down!!!!

ED: Put your weapons down…

JULES: There’s only one weapon, so let’s use the singular.

ED: Copy that!!! Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to put your gun down.

NOTARY: I have a seal, should I drop my seal? I think of it as kind of a weapon.

ED: Yes, put the seal on the table.

GREG: Do you have the solution?

ED: I have the solution, and Jules has eyes on the subject although he’s nothing much to look at.

JULES: Hey, I like him. It’s just that I’m (oops) not allowed to talk about them… Sam… since that’s a conflict of interest.

GREG: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that so I don’t get fired. Now, put down the weapon so that we can talk this over.

TOM: I need that machine.

GREG: That’s not going to happen. We can’t give you that machine. But, if you don’t put your gun down, we’ll have to use lethal force against you. Do you understand that? They your brother will die and so will you.

TOM: No, I won’t!!!

GREG: Okay…. Scorpio

(blast)

GREG: What was that?

ED: It seems to be a gas explosion in another part of the building.

TOM: Okay, I’ll put my gun down. I don’t want to die.

JULES: You came inches from it.

DAVE: You know what, I can let your brother use my machine. But, only under my supervision.

TOM: You will? Gee thanks!

ED: And you can see the whole thing from a monitor — in jail. Put your hands in the air. You have the right to remain silent.

NOTARY: I can give him an Oath of silence. That’s one of my duties as a Notary Public.

Ed: That won’t be necessary.

NOTARY: I also do weddings and bar-mitzvahs.

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December 16, 2016

Frequent signer miles?

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 12:04 am

I had a dream where I met a notary who was very zealous about marketing his business. He offered frequent signer miles to his customers.

You get:
400 miles for each Acknowledgment
260 miles for a Jurat
Free peanuts & coke on your flight if you do an Oath.
1000 miles for a complete loan signing
1500 miles for a reverse signing

If you cash in 6000 miles, you get a free loan signing with 100 pages or less.
Or cash in 2000 miles and get a free mobile notary visit for two signatures and a complimentary wet nap.

The dream evolved after this — or should I say “went sideways.” I started out just with the signing agent talking about pricing. Then, we were on a British Airways where they announced, “At British Airways, we fly on the left side of the sky!” Then the captain announce that they would be doing a reverse signing and the plane started going backwards. Then we started going straight down and the flight attendant made the pilot swear under Oath that we were not going to crash. Right when we were about to hit ground, I was in someone’s living room having peanuts and coke — the notary was there saying, “Hey, would you like to get your free Oath now?” My response was — “Hell no — not on your life — or my life!”

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December 11, 2016

Notary Cemetery

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 6:14 am

The engraving on the tombstones at this cemetery use verbiage approved and prescribed by the Secretary of State and must be registered with the County Clerk. All ghosts visiting this cemetery must register at the front.

The gravestones at this cemetery are in order of expiration date as well as County where commissioned unless the Notary left their County postmortum in which case they have 30 days to notify the Secretary of State unless they’re Jewish in which case they have 40 days and 40 nights.

All mourning is officially witnessed beyond the grave. Just shop around at this cemetery to find a deceased Notary who will give you a good price on witnessing. After all, what’s the point of mourning if no one saw you do it.

If a Notary falls in the cemetery and nobody is around to hear it, did he/she/they really fall?

If you fill in your Notarial wording incorrectly here, you might hear someone rolling over in their grave.

One guy named Julius dug up one of the Notaries. In the casket all he found was a bunch of bones and a photo-ID (with a physical description.)

Notaries at this cemetery who work for postmortum low-ball signing companies are concerned about what they will “urn.” The good news is that dead Notaries don’t have to pay taxes. Death & taxes don’t apply to the Notaries in this joint because they’re already dead.

If you were a good Notary you’ll be reincarnated into… anything but a Notary.
But, if you were a bad Notary you’ll be reincarnated into a Mortgage Broker who never gets his documents back on time.
And if you were a really bad Notary, you’ll be reincarnated as a Notary who stars in a reality show.

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December 9, 2016

Disney Notary World

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 11:55 pm

If there were more Notaries in the United States, in addition to having lower rates due to increased competition, there would be a market for Disney Notary World!

Welcome to Disney Notary World
Start your tour by entering the park — get your ticket notarized. You could take the Notarial tram whose path is very twisty and turny as it is an exact giant replica of Mickey Mouse’s signature! Next, go to the haunted house for a signing. The problem is that the signers — are dead, or at least — they will be, and so will you!

Welcome to the Future
In the futuristic section there is a Robot that can notarize documents. He is trained to spot a fake ID faster than a human Notary. Warning, this means you might all be out of work, or have to carry a robot with you in your car.

Pirates of Pen Zance
Next, on to see the Pirates of Pen Zance. These pirates stole a gold pen from a very prominent Attorney Notary from the 1600’s and hid it in a cave in an island. But, everybody who came to find this pen ended up dead because of a curse. Can you find this pen?

Hyperspace Mountain
After that, get into a floating Notary seal, and go down hyperspace mountain until you go straight down into a pool of ink. Please leave all cellphones in a secure dry area.

War of Balloons
Fulfill your wildest fantasy. At this attraction you get to throw a water balloon at someone who works at a signing company who didn’t pay you. They will say, “The check is in the mail.” Then you throw a balloon. If you hit your target, you win a Daffy Duck doll and a giant check.

The Secretary of State
Bring your kids to this realistic Sec of State building. Wait in line (what else is new) and get your kids an official Disney Notary Commission and Notary Seal. They can get notarizing today! Just make sure they get proper ID and use the Disney Notary Journal,

Hall of Notaries
See photos and paintings of famous Notaries from history. You will find Notaries from Italy during the Renaissance, China, England, and other countries as well. You might even find yourself there. Don’t be surprised if you find Mickey Mouse in the hall of records as he was a Notary before he became a famous star. You have to start somewhere.

The Gift Store
For all of your unhappy customers who wrote a bad review about you claiming that if your tired of “Mickey Mouse Notarizations,” then don’t hire this Notary. You can get a Mickey Mouse doll with a notary seal, where you can get real Mickey Mouse Notarizations.

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