September 2017 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

September 19, 2017

The signers claimed not to have signed the documents

Filed under: Journals,Notary Mistakes — admin @ 12:54 am

A Notary’s commission was suspended for three months. His signers went to court and claimed not to have signed any documents. The Notary’s journal was the one piece of evidence that solved the case and got the Notary’s commission back. So, if you are one of these Notaries who says, “But, my state doesn’t require me to keep a journal.” Think again. Your journal is the one thing that can save your hide.

Your journal can save your hide, but you must hide your journal and keep it under lock and key when not in use!

But, what if you did have the signers sign your journal, but you used the “cram it in” style of filling in your journal where the signer signs once but for multiple documents. They could claim you added more documents after the signing since they only signed once. So, think about the logical reason why God invented Notary journals and read what the NNA says about filling in your journal. Nobody teaches it as well as they do.

Share
>

The Bum’s Rush

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 12:13 am

The Bum’s Rush
bum’s rush. Forcible ejection, abrupt dismissal. For example, When Henry started shouting, the bouncer gave him the bum’s rush, or Within hours of being fired, Alice was given the bum’s rush. This idiom uses bum in the sense of “a vagrant or tramp.” [ ; early 1900s ] – Per Google.
That IS how some of you are treating the persons with whom you interact. Strong statement? Well, perhaps; but it is based on feedback I have received from some of my clients. They relate meeting with notaries who not only frequently looked at their watch, but constantly fidgeted. The “Notary in a Hurry” acted as if they had an immediate need for a toilet break. And, said facility was scheduled to be available to them only in a few minutes, but not thereafter.

But, in reality, “the call of nature” was not the motivation for this abysmal behavior. Abraham Lincoln said “A Lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade”. To a great extent this is true of Notaries and many others who provide a “personal” service. When servicing the needs of client “A”, we cannot work for client “B”. Thus some desire to “save time” to an inappropriate extent.

A minor example: We have all encountered the “Notarize” stickers placed on documents to show specific pages that need our processing. Do you trust these? I do not. After notarizing the page the sticker is removed; then it is time to “turn the pages” – one by one; looking for a page that did not have a sticker but should have had one. Gotcha, a page that clearly needs stamp and seal! You can be sure that the “Notary in a Hurry” will be blamed if that un-stickered page is missed.

We have to react appropriately to the environment. Sometimes a bit of polite conversation, some “getting to know you” time is called for. Other times, with a client finishing an important email, it’s best to remain silent, not distract; and perhaps check your own email on the cell phone. Are there young children in the area, if so watch your step; toys can be slippery. Would you walk on an immaculate white shag rug without removing your shoes, I hope not.

From The King and I – Getting to know you. Putting it my way, But nicely. They are the King, you are in their castle; but, even at the expense of time – you must have proper working conditions. Often I have been seated on a couch and handed documents to notarize. It would be quicker to “attempt” to proceed. However, requesting a table and chair, with good lighting is best.

Sometimes we have a tight schedule, it happens to all of us. However, the most important task is the one currently in progress – we must think that way. Last week I was told I would only have 10 minutes to complete three fingerprint cards. I replied that it would take closer to half an hour to do a proper job. “Do the best you can in 10 minutes” was the response. You have a choice: allow me the half hour or find someone else. The client held firm, I left. Better to not rush a job, and become involved in a failure. Clearly I was getting the “Bum’s Rush”.
Thus the “Bum’s Rush” can apply both ways. You can try to hurry, and your client may attempt to hurry you. Either is a path to shoddy results. The processing environment is quickly forgotten, and only the work product remains. Three rejected fingerprint cards would require an additional trip to correct, anger the client; and probably cause them financial harm. I shudder to think about the review they would rightfully submit. The only standard must be “personal best”.

Share
>

September 18, 2017

A call from the Cop

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 12:12 am

A Call from the Cop
Hello, this is Detective Lawman from the Pennsylvania Sheriff office; I would like to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind. What did I do now? We had just returned from a road trip to Idaho visiting friends. I did drive the entire length of PA, on route 80. I drive our camper with the cruise control set for 5 under the limit. I don’t recall doing anything naughty.

Not liking to answer questions from strangers, I ask for his physical location. I told him that I would call information for his number and call back to verify his identity. That did not bother him in the slightest. Moments later, his authority confirmed; I told him I would help in any way I could. Well, it was not related to my driving; but to my activities as a Notary Public!

I was asked if I notarized a deed, in New York, on a specific date. It seems that the “owner” did not sell! He was very interested in the procedures I used to verify the identity for my notarization of the Deed. I asked for the Venue – and it was Clinton County in NY State. Well, Clinton County is in the upper most part of New York State. I never did a notarization in that county, I told him; I certainly would remember if I did. He asked why my notary stamp was on the deed.

I doubt if that document has either my stamp or my signature – what you are looking at is a forgery. Are you sure you did not notarize, ever, in Clinton County? Absolutely sure, while it is true that I am a traveling notary – I have never had a call to go 300 miles north. The cost to a client would be unreasonable; I would have to be paid for trip, food and overnight motel. Would you be willing to send me a copy of your Notary Stamp and Signature sample? Sure.

On the flatbed scanner I put my Notary Commission, Driver License, SS card and my Nexus Canadian border crossing security pass. A quick scan and email to the Detective. He, in turn, sends me the notary section from the deed in question. If it was not so serious I would have laughed out loud. The signature was totally different, very “pointy” not the flowing curves in my standard signature. He was most interested in the signature on my Driver License as that was from a few years ago. He mentioned there was some consistency in my signature comparing the Driver License to the SS card (which was signed VERY long ago)!

The phony notary stamp was totally absurd. It showed my Commission to be registered to Clinton County; unlike my New York County – authentic stamp. The notary registry number was wrong; and the stamp included my home address in New York! Whatta mess! The Detective quickly determined that I was not involved in any way with the phony deed notarization. He asked the standard question as to if I would be willing to press charges for impersonation. Of course, I replied. Conversation ended, he said he had some other Kenneth A (missing on stamp) Edelstein to contact. And I thought I was unique!

Also missing was my raised seal; I sent an “inked” image – and mentioned the “flaw” that I made with a knife on the die. I assured him that every notarization by me includes my raised seal.

That was excitement enough for one day. I hope he catches the crook/forger and sends him/her to the “window bars motel” for a long time. Contact like this helps me to remember all notary laws.

Share
>

September 17, 2017

Get off your Butt

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 12:11 am

Get off your Butt
Ever listen to Bolero? It’s basically the same musical note strings repeated over and over. There is minor variation but the major effect is that the music stays the same but gets louder and louder. Sound familiar? That’s the way the Forum here (and on similar sites) seems to be going. A constant repetition of the same old and tired gripes. Of course you have a right to feel slighted when screwed about no/low/late payment. But are you venting your frustration in the right direction? Perhaps you are your problem.

The single most cost effective form of marketing your services is business card distribution. Did you miss that? OK, for those that are not the brightest bulb in the chandelier – go back and reread the first sentence of this paragraph. Good, now we both know the secret to digging out of the signing swamp. You need a broad base of customers, hundreds of them. Hanging on with a few clients = financial doom. Yes, I said hundreds. Why? Because most of the time they do not need your notary services. But, with several hundred knowing about you, some will call. To them you are “the one” not one of many to underpay.

So, exactly what is business card distribution? It involves getting off your tail feathers and actually SELLING YOURSELF. Get a local map, draw a circle with the radius of the circle ten miles from your home location. That covers a lot of territory. Probably includes many, many business locations. You need to visit them individually and present a few (half a dozen works for me) business cards. They are cheap. I order 5000 at a time from VistaPrint, specifying their slowest service – and the cost is pennies per card. Make the card a work of art. Don’t forget to put some “keeper” information on the back. No, not a calendar; something forever useful.

Want to give your card even more impact? Write a cover letter that describes your services and make sure to include useful information. You might cover the requirements for someone to be notarized, your experience, your availability; and a bit about the person that you are. Perhaps you will choose to put a bit more into your face to face contact – a small gift. A pen, a letter opener, a keychain – something. See http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19345 for one way to build a repeat relationship – surely you can think of more and better ideas. But you have to DO them.

I’m a payment first kind of guy. I used to have “dun the turds day – the last Monday of the month” – that’s history now. Virtually all of my work is prepaid via PayPal, especially with signing services or structured settlements. They don’t like to pay. I have a BBB A+ rating and will extend credit to strangers who have the same. But back to business card distribution.

You want to get your card into the hands of people whose time is more valuable than yours. Or, to put it another way: their time is more valuable than your fee. A doctor is not going to make a trip to the bank to have a “qualify for adoption” statement notarized. Paying your truly trivial fee allows the doctor to meet a patient and earn much more than your fee. A manager at a big store does not want to go to a notary; they can call you (IF THEY KNOW YOU EXIST) to come to them and simply make it a business expense (it’s not coming out of their own pocket).
It’s work. Make a route – visit hundreds of locations with your 6 cards, cover letter and perhaps a small gift. General Notary Work is easier and payment is immediate. You just have to get off your Butt, Please. I’m tired of all the griping about signings. Also, with a good revenue stream from your General Notary Work you can tell SSS (Sleazy Signing Service) to prepay or go away. Be prepared for a surprise. SSS will often prepay if you stand your ground. Many have called me back a half hour later to submit to MY terms.

Share
>

September 16, 2017

A Notary at a Bat-Mitzvah

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:49 pm

A Notary who was down on his luck with women tried some new strategies for meeting women. He went to a comedy club, but bombed even worst than the amateur comedian who asked him to notarize a joke. The Notary said, your comedy act IS a joke! Then the Notary struck out when going to a Bat-Mitzvah.

Then the Notary (who had a lot of Jewish friends) decided that the Bat-Mitzvah was much better than the Bar-Mitzvah because people didn’t get drunk playing baseball there.

After that, the Notary had to drive through a part of town with heavy traffic while he was on the phone with the Bar-Mitzvah boy. Our Notary said he wanted to circument the traffic by taking a side route, but the 13 year old recently Bar-Mitzvah’ed boy recommended that instead — he circumsize the area!

Then the 13 year old boy described his problem to the Notary. The boy went to the Orthodox Notary and said, Can you do an Abrucha Notarization on my skateboard? The Orthodox Notary said, I would love to, but what is that thing you have with the wheels on it. Then he went to the Converservative Notary and the Notary said, I like the way you think kid, but I really can’t do such an act — it wouldn’t be kosher. Then the boy went to a Reformed Notary and said, ‘Notary, can you do an Abrucha Notary blessing on my skateboard?” The Notary said, “Nice skateboard, my cousin has one just like it, but tell me — what is an abrucha Notarization?”

Then the Notary said, “No problem, I’ll do an Abrucha Notarization for you on an Oath, or sworn written statement — your choice. The Oath will be in English, and then I’ll say some prayer.”

After that, the Notary went to one of those Shabbat dinners at a Kabbalistic Shul. During dinner, he said, “I want to make a joke about Reformed Rabbis.” Then a Reformed Rabbi got up and said, “I’m a Reformed Rabbi.” Then the Notary said,

NOTARY: “Good, then you’ll get the joke — or not, because the whole point of the joke is to make fun of the fact that Reformed Rabbis don’t get it — like not knowing what Abrucha is or other Hebrew terminology.”

REFORMED RABBI: Not knowing what what is?

NOTARY: Thanks for playing along with me.

REFORMED RABBI: I wasn’t playing along.

NOTARY: That’s the ammunition for the joke then!

REFORMED RABBI: Well, did you hear about the Notary Public who didn’t know what “Scilicit” or “Locus Sigilli” mean?

NOTARY: Who didn’t know what what meant?

REFORMED RABBI: It seems that you know a lot about Judaism, but nothing about how to be a Notary

NOTARY: Listen, I might not know how to be a good Notary, and you might not know how to be a good Rabbi, but both of us are better than that pathetic comedian I saw yesterday — his comedy routine was a joke!

REFOFORMED RABBI: Not as much of a joke as the goalee I hired for our last Bat-Mizvah!

Share
>

September 15, 2017

Psych Notary Episode

Filed under: Sit-Coms — admin @ 11:54 pm

There is a sit-com on Ion television that you can sometimes get on other cable stations called Psych. It’s about a psychic Shawn Spencer and his sidekick Burton Guster. In any case, the psychic is a fake half the time who sees real clues that nobody else saw him see and then pretends to have a vision.

In this episode, a Notary is found dead and his stamp is found missing. The detectives arrive on the scene.

LASSITER: The body is dead — and it’s cold. It could have been lying here for a good seven to ten hours in my estimate. The cause of death seems unclear.

JULES: Let’s take the body to the lab and see if there is any sign of food poisoning. The victim seems to be a Notary Public, and you know how those type of people are — you know — eating on the road on the run.

SHAWN: You’re right. He might have eaten a poisoned fish filet or….wait a second, I’m getting something… (puts his right two fingers to his head) This MAN, did not die from accidental food poisoning (pause)… he was murdered.

LASSITER: You and your unsubstantiated hunches. I just can’t stand it. And what’s worse is that you’re right more than half the time.

SHAWN: Some people say that I’m talented. Oh, and I’m sorry about your tragic breakup.

LASSITER: Yeah… so am I. I really fell for her.

SHAWN: Don’t despair Lassie, there are other fish in the sea… and coral, particularly Staghorn coral.. and sometimes Pillar coral, and it really sucks when that filmy type of algae gets stuck on the coral.. hmmm. I wonder how that happens. But, I digress. My point is that I’m sure you’ll find someone else.

GUS: Yeah… You’ll find someone. Algae on coral? Ain’t no algae on coral.

SHAWN: I’ve seen it. At least half a dozen times.

GUS: Where?

SHAWN: Snorkeling

GUS: Since when do you snorkel?

SHAWN: I snorkel… Why, you didn’t think I snorkeled? I’m a snorkeler. And I can communicate with fish too. Watch this (puts face near the fish tank and blows bubbles in the air) bubble bubble bubble… See. I told you. I am all about the sea.

JULES: Well, we’ll have to inspect the scene thoroughly and then round up some suspects. Hmm. It seems that this man is a Notary, yet his Notary seal seems to be missing. Perhaps this Notary was murdered to cover up a botched notarization.

LASSITER: Or perhaps the Notary had an exclusive contract with his boss, and his boss found out….

SHAWN: That the Notary was cheating on him… I think you’re projecting, Lassie. Your ex-girlfriend.

LASSITER: She never cheated on me! She was arrested for conspiracy.

SHAWN: Sure she didn’t. I understand. We need to know who the last one who was in the room was — and that man (or woman) will be… the killer.

GUS: What if there were two of them.

SHAWN: Okay… I’m getting something. (puts right fingers to side of head). I know who the killer is… or should I say… “Killizz”

LASSITER: According to this security footage, a well known gangster named Tommy Walker was the last man to come here.

SHAWN: Wait a second, I recognize those finger tattoos. Put them all together, one one hand is says love, and on the other hand’s fingers it says hate. And mom told me not to use four letter words. The killer had a document missing a page and the Notary refused to sign it. So, the killer murdered the Notary, stole the Notary’s stamp and backdated the notarization so that it would APPEAR to have been done long before the murder even though it would not be recorded until after because of some last minute travel arrangements gone bad.

JULES: How do you come up with this?

SHAWN: I have a natural gift.

(Meanwhile the main suspect Tommy Walker, a hardened criminal is at home eating fruit loops and watching the muffets when our dynamic team of sleuths barges in)

LASSITER: (pointing gun) You’re under arrest for the Murder of John Q Smith, Notary Public at large.

TOMMY: I didn’t kill him. He just died shortly after our Notary appointment.

SHAWN: Ah-ha, but your Notary appointment yielded no actual notarization. Or did it. Wait a second… I”m getting something (see’s notarized form in the bag) I see a … win a trip for two to Disney Land…

GUS: Shawn!

SHAWN: Oh, sorry, no… check right behind the Disneyland document and you will find the incriminating document. Yes… A falsified Power of Attorney with a classic missing page… The NNA warns people about that type of situation.

JULES: Oh my God Shawn. You’re right. This Notarization was dated several days ago, but the ink is still fresh.

SHAWN: Caught… in the act. And… we happen to have access to this Notary’s Notary journal which has no record of your transaction on May 5th, “el cinco de Mayo” of the Power of Attorney in question. Which proves that either the Notary kept lousy records, or that you faked the notarization. We’ll have to take the form to the lab so that Woody can inspect the ink for aging.

TOMMY: Okay, I did it. I stole the Notary’s seal, but I didn’t kill him. The killer

SHAWN: Or “Killizz”

TOMMY: is STILL at large. We’ll have to wait for the autopsy. In the mean time… hello travelocity.

JULES: Not so fast. We have the right to detain you until we resolve this.

GUS: Good thing this Notary kept good records because many Notaries on 123notary don’t think they need to keep a journal since their state doesn’t require it. And the ones in California who are required, don’t understand that each document and signature require their own journal entry. You can’t just put them all on the same line and expect that to be a legal record.

SHAWN: How do you know all this?

GUS: Because I used to be a commissioned Notary Public for the state of California, County of Santa Barbara — thank you very much for asking.

SHAWN: Oh cool, so can you notarize my stuffed penguin I’ve had since childhood?

GUS: You never had a stuffed penguin.

SHAWN : Did too, you just never saw it.

GUS: Where did you keep it?

LASSITER: Gentlemen, let’s be done with this inconsequential rambling and get to the task at hand. We need to take Tommy into custody and then question him. Meanwhile, we need to see Woody to see what the autopsy reveals.

WOODY: Hmmm, I’ve checked the body thoroughly and it seems that the Notary was administered a tiny amount of poison that would make him drowsy for just the amount of time it would take Tommy to borrow the Notary’s seal, stamp a document, return the seal and then leave. Tommy probably figured the Notary wouldn’t suspect a thing. HOWEVER, since the Notary had an allergy to some of the chemicals in the poison, the Notary died on the spot. Although the death was accidental, the poisoning was not.

LASSITER: Involuntary manslaughter. Tommy will get a much shorter sentence. A petty crime gone wrong.

SHAWN: Couldn’t the Notary die on an x, or on a dotted line instead of on the spot. Wouldn’t that be cooler.

GUS: Shawn! A notary can’t die on an x marks the spot. That’s ridiculous. He could die on a chair.

SHAWN: Or a gezebo. Or … wait a second, or a pagoda. But, that would probably only be a Japanese Notary.

GUS: Unless it was an American tourist Notary who was on vacation in a place where there are pagodas.

SHAWN: True, but would the American Notary carry their seal with them to Osaka to a pagoda and then just die there?

GUS: I don’t know. But, the Notary seal might drop out of his bag while he was bowing. When Americans bow, they bow too low. Japanese bow just a little bit — just the right amount.

SHAWN: How do you know so much about bowing?

GUS: I studied Hokkaido style karate — that is how I know. And if you studied that too, the knowledge would come from within you.

SHAWN: Right now the only thing coming from within me is an intense desire to eat a pineapple. Wanna share one?

GUS: Okay!

LASSITER: You guys are both insane. But, we cracked the case and we can all go home now, except for Tommy who’s going to do some real time.

SHAWN: Yes, unless he also finds a way to backdate his prison sentence!

Share
>

September 14, 2017

Please don’t quit your day job…not just yet

Filed under: Carmen Towles — admin @ 11:47 pm

So you did what?

I get a call from a very nice lady who had just became a notary. She was interested in our loan signing courses and advertising. I asked her how she heard about 123 and loan signing in general, and she went on to tell me that a notary had come to her home and closed her loan. The notary who visited (also happens to be a 123 member) had spoke highly of the profession and that the notary shared with her, that through this income as a signing agent, she was able to send her family to Tahiti. She also stated that her notary had made the signing process look so easy that she wanted to get into the professions as well.

As the conversation started to wind down with all her questions asked and answered she goes on to tell me that she’s ‘waiting’ on her notary stamp/seal and would be ready to sign up immediately upon there arival. She also says’ that she had to get going with the business as she had just quit her job. Startled, I asked her ‘“What did you just say”?” And so she repeats that she had just quit her job. I was shocked. I asked her, “What in the world would posses you to do this”? She replied that she thought being a signing agent was easy to get into and that she was under the impression that she could start making money right away. She said that the notary told her there were places to sign up with. I had to explain to her that although there were places that she could try signing up with in addition to advertising with places like 123notary.com and notary rotary, there was no guarantee that anybody would give her any work. This is a problem for all new notary signing agents. When you are new not too many companies what to take a chance on you.

Seeing how she had just quit her job recently, I advised her to try to get her job back immediately. Sadly, she tells me that they had already fulfilled her position. Needless to say she was VERY upset. And, I was upset with her. For the life of me, I cannot understand this logic of this thinking at all.

In these conversations, I always wonder why folks don’t do more research when they decide to venture into this or any other business. As with all new business it requires dedication and hard work.

Moral of the story; don’t quit your job! The notary signing agent business takes TIME to build, cultivate and grow.

Share
>

September 12, 2017

Why keep a journal? Don’t wait until you get a call from the FBI.

I have the worst time talking to Notaries in NJ, NY and Florida. They have the worst attitude. The minute ask them a journal quesiton the answer is usually — my state doesn’t require me to keep a journal. I have heard this so many times I just want to throw them off my site just for saying that. I am so upset, that I have decided to have formal standards on 123notary for what we require in our jurisdiction online. Journals will be one of the requirements.

When you are:
Investigated for fraud that you notarized
In court or
Need to look up a former transaction for some reason

Your journal is your only recourse. If you don’t keep a journal, you will not be able to answer to investigators. A journal thumbprint is sometimes the only way the FBI can catch an identity thief. If you don’t keep one because your state doesn’t require it, then you are empowering identity thiefs. Florida’s FAQ page states that they don’t want Notaries to require a thumbprint. That is like asking parents not to require their children to wear a seatbelt. When your child comes home with a fractured jaw, you will change the way you look at this “requirement.”

I was investigated three times.

#1. An investigator suspected an elderly couple of being ripped off. I told him I found the transaction in my journal and had a thumbprint. He said, “Investigation over.” I was off the hook because I kept good records.

#2 A routine inquiry with a journal entry copied and sent to the inuirer.

#3. Someone copied my seal using a xerox machine and pretended to be me. I looked in my journal and found the exact day when the crime was committed. I did a few other jobs that day, but not the job in question. The handwriting on the acknowledgment didn’t match mine either and they did not do the cross outs or use an embosser. Having a journal saved my neck. How can you not keep one?

Another story was that a shady guy wanted to be notarized by me. I told him that I required a thumbprint. The guy protested but I stood my ground. He declined and found another Notary. I detered a potential fraud from happening and it was easy. NNA sells thumbprinters for about $16. Buy a few. It is your best protection.

NNA teaches proper journal filling technique. Learn from them. They teach Notary knowledge better than anyone else.

Share
>

September 10, 2017

Initial Notary Contact Check List

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 12:27 am

Initial Notary Contact Check List
Ring, Ring, Ring – does the sound foretell revenue, or will the caller merely function to “busy” your cell phone? Most of us are Mobile Notaries, we do not maintain a “walk in” location, and we go to our clients to earn a “travel” fee. Many callers gloss over this fact; they see the word Notary and want to go to your location. Sometimes they just ring the bell; usually to find that the Notary is “out”. More often they call, now the challenge is to determine their expectations.
Moving the Bottom Line to the Top Line – A quick way to separate the “tire kickers” from the buyers is to quickly state your minimum notary fee, prior to getting into the gory details. “My minimum Mobile Notary fee is $XX. Responses vary from “WOW, that’s a Lot” to “no problem”.

Get the data needed to formulate a Quote – The basic information is What, When and Where – there is more that you need to know; but those three are a good start. When and where are obvious – usually. I’ve been “sucker punched” with an address that sounded routine, but turned out to be the United Nations building; with very time consuming security procedures. Also be careful about the when, if it’s not soon; check for holiday traffic and stormy weather!

Ahhh, the What – There are other aspects, but the two that you really must nail are Exactly what is to be notarized, and how many notarizations are required. I ask “how many notarizations are required?” and they respond “one”. They often are responding about “how many people are being notarized” not how many notarizations are required. So, I have modified my question. I now ask “how many signatures will be notarized?”. If I have to ID 37 affiants to a single contract, to me that is 37 notarizations; even if I stamp and sign only once. Also, it’s vital to determine exactly what document is to be processed. I can’t do Wills, or copies of NY Birth Certs, and many other vital records.

By now you should have a good idea that the task is doable. They agreed to the fee, and it probably is more than the “minimum” initially mentioned. Also, you know what, when and where. So far it’s a go, but will it be a pleasant session for the notary?

More that you must find out – Are you the person I will be notarizing? Often a relative or clerical is assigned the task of “arranging” the notary. If you are not speaking to the affiant how do you know that they speak English, or some other language you are fluent with? Ask! And, of course you need to find out what the affiant has for ID. Going to a large office building? You need the company name, what floor they are on, and perhaps the room number. Want to wait in the lobby for clearance? Probably not, so ask for a pass to be called down to the lobby to be there prior to your arrival. Did you get a contact cell number that will be answered while you are in route to the appointment? You might get stuck behind a fire truck, can you reach them?

A lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade, said President Lincoln. I value my time too. It’s not unreasonable to ask if the affiant will be able to meet with you as scheduled. “You want me there at 4PM, will you (or the affiant) be able to meet with me at that time? It’s a fine line between being perceived as “pushy” and sitting for an hour for a base fee. I’ve told admin assistants that I cannot be late for a subsequent appointment and must leave in half an hour.

Share
>

September 8, 2017

Notary speaker offends college students

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:53 pm

Notary is hired to do a speech for college students in Berkeley. But, everything he says offends them.

NOTARY: Welcome class. Today I am here to speak of the duties of the Notary Public. A notary is appointed by the Secretary of State or Notary division in the prospective Notary’s respective state.

SUZIE: Like… Notaries should be able to do whatever they want man… Screw the rules.

NOTARY: Well, if you ignore the rules, you could end up losing your commission and ending up in jail

JACK: That’s fascist man… Not fair. Let’s throw things!!!!!

NOTARY: I’ll call for police back up if you throw one thing.

JACK: I knew you were on their side. You’re a rightist extremist!!!

SUZIE: So, what about women. Do women have equal opportunities in the Notary world or is there a glass ceiling like in the rest of the world where we have “equal” opportunities.

NOTARY: Actually, now that you mention it, the reason for the pay gap between men and women in jobs at large worldwide stems from the fact that women work three hours less per week than men — assuming they work at all. Additionally, men are more willing to do dirty, dangerous, technical and otherwise unpleasant work while women prefer to do work that is more socially gratifying, involving people, healing, children, and that lead to a balanced life even if it pays less. The result is that women have more balanced lives but get paid less. If you compare apples to apples for women and men with the same amount of experience, neither of whom take a maternity leave and work the same amount of hours and with the same vigor and skill level, women actually get paid slightly more than men.

SUZIE: Bullshit!!!! That’s sexist! Let’s start a riot!!!!

NOTARY: I have the police on speed dial if you can’t control yourself.

JACK: This guy’s a fascist — let’s get the noise maker and drown him out so he can’t be heard!!!!

NOTARY: I am here for your benefit so you will do better in the real world. If you want to undermine that opportunity, that hurts you, not me.

FRANK: Good point. I think we need to listen instead of antagonizing the Notary, even if that means compromising our “values” of attacking anyone we falsely accuse of being right wing, unfair or fascist when we are the ones who are unfair fascists of a left-wing variety.

SUZIE: You said it!! Wait a second. Could you repeat that?

NOTARY: Yes, by preventing people from speaking by force you are imposing a vigilante style neo-marxist fascism. If more people did that, we would all lose our freedom of speech just like in many other countries — which would be bad, unless it was only you guys losing your freedom of speech as well as the freedom to throw things which is considered a felony.

FRANK: I’m in your boat on this one. Or on the wagon. Or… I just quit smoking so, maybe I’m off the wagon. Not sure…. Go on!

NOTARY: A Notary’s job includes Acknowledging signatures, administering Oaths, taking Jurats, and sometimes a few other tasks, but those are the main three. Official acts can vary from state to state, but all states have Acknowledgments, Jurats, and Oaths.

JACK: You mean like Quaker Oaths?

NOTARY: No, Jack, an Oath is where you raise your right hand and swear to tell the truth like when they swore in Donald… bad example, like how they would have sworn in Hillary Clinton had the election not been rigged.

FRANK: Traitor!!!

SUZIE: I had you all wrong. I LOVE you Mr. Notary. Would you date me? It would be like how Ross dated that college student on Friends.

NOTARY: Oh God. I’m just trying to appease the situation, but it seems I made an enemy out of Frank in the process. In any case, an Acknowledged signature is when a signer signs a document. They can take it later on to a Notary and have the Notary fill out a form stating they acknowledge signing the document. They do not have to sign in the presence of the Notary, but do need to show ID and personally show up in front of the Notary. A Jurat requires the signer to sign in front of the Notary and swear to the truthfulness of the document.

SUZIE: How romantic. It sounds like getting married. By the way, you have pretty blue eyes!

JACK: I do!!!

NOTARY: Sometimes a Notary will need credible witnesses to swear in a signer who doesn’t have an ID.

FRANK: Wait… credible what-nisses?

NOTARY: Witnesses

FRANK: Are you doing something criminal where there are witnesses? Do you have a witness protection program?

NOTARY: Honestly, you people are such a bunch of dumb-asses!!!

JACK: Ha ha ha… That’s what I think to. I’m around this type of behavior so much I don’t even notice it. It’s like being in the 8th grade perpetually, except in the 8th grade I didn’t understand the meaning of perpetual.

SUZIE: Yeah, neither did I. I thought a perpetual was a pervert.

NOTARY: They could be… Or they could be a perpetrator. Anyway…Now this is a Notary Journal. The signer has to sign the document as well as the Notary journal right here….

JACK: Woah… Can I sign?

SUZIE: Yeah, I wanna sign too!!!

FRANK: Aren’t you supposed to have a document being Notarized to sign this? Signing the journal is not just for fun. Let’s be serious. Oh wait… Is that the fee section? How much do you dudes get paid? I need a career when I get out of this joint.

NOTARY: Notaries now make $15 per signature. If you have ten signatures to notarize in an hour, you can give a discount or make up to $150.

JACK: Wow, I make $9.25 per hour, that’s like what I make in an hour in a half. I’m becoming a Notary. Can you be a felon and still become a Notary?

NOTARY: No..

JACK: Good, that will weed out the competition — cuz, like, I’m not a felon. I don’t even look like one.

NOTARY: Well that’s the main thing, isn’t it!

SUZIE: I had you so wrong. I love you Notary man! Oh… I’m going back home to write a song about blue eyed Notary man… How I dream of Notary man.

NOTARY: It was nice meeting you all. Here is my card in case you ever need a Notary, or in your case a date who is twice your age. But, as they say — age is just a number.

SUZIE: And Notary fees are just a number that will help when you take me out to a French Cafe called Le Jurat!

NOTARY: It’s a date. Don’t tell the Dean of students. He’ll crucify me.

SUZIE: If he does, we’ll riot and he knows that. He has his hands tied. This place is run by anarchists, not the Dean.

JACK: Yup!!!! And we wouldn’t have it any other way!

FRANK: Speak for yourself!

Share
>
Older Posts »