April 2014 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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April 19, 2014

Split PDFs into Letter & Legal Separate PDFs

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:12 pm

Today half of my printer died. I have an HP LaserJet 4100, the main part “sits” on base with a second drawer. I keep Letter paper in the lower drawer, and Legal in the top drawer. I figure the longer paper should have a shorter path; but put in either way it works the same. When printing the PDF, I select “Choose paper source by PDF page size”. It works fine, but only if you have both sizes of paper mounted in the printer. Generally, http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com has 2 working trays, but not today!

As mentioned, the bottom half of my printer died. I needed to print a set of edocuments which had interspersed letter and legal. First, a quick check to verify that it would be acceptable to print NOT interspersed; first the legal then all the letter. They agreed.

I needed some software quick. I found http://www.a-pdf.com offering a tool A-PDF Page Size Split which seemed to meet my needs precisely. I downloaded the software from their site using this link: http://www.a-pdf.com/page-size-split/index.htm – being always afraid of downloads the next step was to make (almost) absolutely sure it was malware free. To do this I went to https://www.virustotal.com and uploaded the file for their MANY virus scanner inspections. It passed. Next I virus checked it with my own anti virus software F-Secure (after doing a manual update) and it again passed. Satisfied that it did not contain anything nasty I installed A-PDF Page Size Splitter.

It installed quickly and soon I was splitting an old PDF of loan docs. Its interface was simple. It’s easier to use if you first create a dedicated folder somewhere and put a copy of the input file there. I let it default to split back to the input directory. It displayed the page count of letter and legal and created new files using the input file name and adding the words “letter” and “legal” into the original file name.

A quick look at the new files showed they were indeed properly split and the page count of the two new files added up to the count of the original file. Huuh? What’s this? A bit of a “gotcha”. An advertising watermark had been added to each output page. What I had was the demo version, used to make sure the product will work. My Win 7 64Bit Dell was compatible, as are many prior versions of Windows. But, now it was time to “Register” and pay the $49 to get rid of that watermark. I paid the piper and soon was emailed a code to Register and the subsequent processing was without the watermark. They also give free updates for life to registered users.

Sooooooooo, after splitting the file I printed the Legal, then changed paper to print the Letter. The service people still have the base with the second drawer and it will be returned in a day or so. The software was a bit expensive, but provides me a way to meet my obligation; and to be ready for the next malfunction.

One tip. In the ordering process they automatically add a ten dollar “download protection” that allows you to download at a later date. I find that feature totally useless. Once you have the registration code; you are always able to download the demo version and apply your registration code. Thus, the download protection seems to serve no function. Perhaps, the download protection sends you a file that already has your registration code “built in”. But, I deselected it. Updates are just a reinstall, with no need to do an uninstall prior to the update. They claim an update will “find” that you are registered.

A small side benefit is knowing exactly how many sheets of each type of paper will be required; just in case you are near running out. With the letter pages atop the legal pages it’s off to the borrower for me.

Tweets
(1) Splitting PDF’s into letter & legal: a story of how it all went wrong.

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Which dual tray printer do Notaries like?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19351

Ken’s list of things Notaries goof
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19427

Mobile Office — will it void your warranty?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6451

Mobile Offices from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=535

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April 4, 2014

Witnessing the intake forms for Notary Heaven

Clerk: “NEXT!!!!”

Clerk: “You were. Ahh. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a decent notary. You never backdated. That’s just herely.”
Sal: “Pardon?”
Clerk: “Heavenly. But… On your Match.com profile, you front-dated to make yourself younger, but the women you met also front-dated and it all evened out, so no problem there. Back to your records… You never signed without having a current ID with a matching name. You were rarely late to any appointments, and you made a courtesy call when you knew you’d be late. Too bad you were late on your child support payments.”
Sal: “Better late than never.”
Clerk: “As in dead vs. never exist, I agree. Sign here.”
Sal: “I never had any kids, by the way. You must be confusing me with somebody else.”

Clerk: “You must be confusing me with somebody who confuses you for somebody else.”
Heavenly Notary: “Can I see some ID?”
Sal: “I just died. My ID is with my body down there.”

Clerk: “His commission seal expired after he did. I already checked it in.”
Notary: “Your right thumb print, please. The one you hitched a ride with to get to the dance where you met your future wife to whom you gave thumbs down to timely child support.”
Sal: “Boy, you guys really know how to stay on topic.”

Clerk: “You are hereby appointed to Notary Heaven section 263, upper level.”
Notary: “Really? Upper level! I must have done something right? By the way, up here, is upper level a good thing?”

Clerk: “It’s where we put decent notaries who didn’t make their child support payments. It’s up in the nosebleed section. But since noses don’t bleed here, no worries. Be glad you’re not headed to where we stick the backdaters.”
Sal: “Uhh… Where’s that?” Clerk: “Notary purgatory. For all of eternity, they’ll have to remind clients to stop signing differently on each page, so it’s consistent.” Sal: “Okay, but once again, I never had children. Perhaps there’s another Sal who used my social security number and…”
Heavenly Bouncer: “You’re coming with me, kid…”
Sal: “Thanks for calling me a kid. I guess compared to all of eternity, I am on the youthful side.”
Bouncer: “Up these stairs over here.”
Sal: “They don’t have escalators in heaven? Not that I’m complaining.”
Bouncer: “You’re getting aerobic exercise. It will make you feel therely.”

Sal: “Oh, okay. Wait a minute! … There-ly? Don’t you mean here-ly?”
Bouncer: “We just left heaven. This is heaven-adjacent. The address still sounds reasonably fancy, but the neighborhood’s a little seedier. For the seedier folks who shirked their child support payments.”
Sal: “Listen… I didn’t get your name.”
Bouncer: “What do you mean?” Sal: “Your name. I didn’t get your name.” Bouncer: “My name is ‘What do you mean.’ In heaven-adjacent, it makes confused new members sound like they’re my friends.” Sal: “Is there any way to appeal the whole child support issue?”
Bouncer: “You can take that up with the staff in section 263.”
Sal: “What do you mean?” Bouncer: “Yes?” Sal: “Never mind.”

263 Host: “Welcome to section 263. We’ve been expecting you! The accommodations here are adequate, and the food isn’t terrible.”
Sal: “That doesn’t sound… terrible.”
263 Host: “As for the enticing food descriptions in the menu, don’t ask me to affirm them under the penalties of perjury. Oh, and the full portions are reduced by thirty percent, because SOMEONE in the brighter world didn’t make their section 263 support payments. Ring a bell?”
Sal: “How could I have been a deadbeat before I was actually dead?”
263 Host: “Have a nice eternity.”

———————–
Old Version
———————–

Sal: “Hi, I’m Sal”
Clerk: “You sure are. Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated. You never signed without having a current ID with a matching name. You were rarely late to any appointments, and you made a courtesy call when you were going to be late. Too bad you were late on your child support payments.
Sal: “Hey, excuse me. I think there is a mistake here. You see I…”
Clerk: “Sign here”
Notary: “Can I see some ID sir?”
Sal: “Hey, give me a break, I just died. My ID is with my body down there. I never had kids by the way, you must be confusing me with…”
Clerk: “Sure you didn’t. Where have I heard that before.”
Notary: “Your right paw-print please.”
Clerk: “You are appointed to Notary Heaven section 263, upper level.”
Notary: “And what did I do to merit such a place? By the way, is that a good place?”
Clerk: “That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments. It’s a whole lot better than where we put the backdaters. I’ll leave that to your imagination.”
Sal: “Okay, but once again, I never had children. Perhaps there is another Sal who used my social security number and…”
Bouncer: “You’re coming with me kid…”
Sal: “Oooh, strong grip…”
Bouncer: “Up these stairs over here.”
Sal: “Is this heaven or is this a prison?”
Bouncer: “Think of all of god’s creation as a karmic realm of one sort or the other. Certain realms are more desirable than others.”
Sal: “Is there any way to appeal the whole child support issue?”
Bouncer: “You can take that up with the staff in section 263. Have a nice day!”

263 Staff: “Welcome to section 263. We have been expecting you! The accommodations here are honest, and the food is not bad, but you only get 70% portions because our funding got cut because SOMEONE in the brighter world didn’t make their section 263 support payments. Sound familiar?”
Sal: “Yeah, about that. I was hoping that we could…”
263 Staff: “NEXT….”

Tweets:
(1) Notary Heaven Section 263: That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments.
(2) Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated.
(3) I just died, my ID is with my body down there.
(4) Notary Heaven Section 263: That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments.
(5) Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated.
(6) I just died, my ID is with my body down there.
(7) The notary heaven clerk noted that his commission seal expired after he did.
(8) Notary purgatory: For all of eternity, dead notaries get clients who sign differently on each page.

You might also like:

Compilation of comedy articles about Notary Heaven & Hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16640

The signing from hell (Carmen’s version)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=765

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