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November 27, 2013

Does Real Estate experience help as a notary?

We asked on Facebook which type of professional background helps if you are a signing agent. Mortgage and Title experience helps to a point, but not that much. I keep telling people, it is a lot different when you are on the “other” side of the table with a notary stamp in your hand. The type of knowledge you need and the type of experience is very different.

I give a little quiz to people where I ask them a few questions over the phone. People complain that I catch them off guard. I tell them that they should know loan signing terminology so well that they should be able to talk about it if they are drunk, stoned, or in a deep sleep. So, I ask people what the technical term for the date of the signing is — and even a loan processor with 30 years of experience couldn’t tell me. Mortgage brokers are notorious for failing our certification test. Additionally, NNA certified signing agents who think they know it all score an average of 30% on our phone test.

In defense of notary2pro’s course, the notary2pro graduates get more like 65% on our over the phone quiz which is excellent and comparable to those who pass the 123notary certification test.

But, the worst luck I have had is with people who tell me all about their Real Estate experience. They tell me for 10 minutes how they know all about loan documents because they were a Real Estate Agent. Then I ask them what the APR is, and they say, “Huh?”. The APR, don’t you know the APR? How would you define the APR? Then if they are somewhat with it, they define the APR as being the Annual Percentage Rate which is not a definition, but another spelled out name for the APR.

In any case, from talking to enough Real Estate Brokers, being in that profession is nothing to brag about when trying to advertise yourself as a notary. In fact, I think it is negative advertising. It is sort of like saying that you know nothing about being a notary, so instead — you will try to pass yourself off as someone who knows the documents — when in fact you don’t know the first thing about being a loan signer and don’t even know what the APR is in most cases.

OMG. Are all Realtors this bad?

The bottom line is that if you want to be a signing agent, study to be a signing agent. Study from 123notary if you want our certification icon on your listing. Otherwise, study from notary2pro for some good one on one mentoring from their staff.

(1) Drunk? Stoned? In a deep sleep? No matter! Know your loan signing terminology!
(2) It’s a lot different when you are on the “other” side of the table w/a notary stamp.
(3) A loan processer 30 year vet didn’t know the technical term for the “date of signing”
(4) Real Estate Brokers need to get real! You don’t know ur loan docs as well as you think you do!


October 18, 2013

The Notary, the Realtor, and the half bathroom

A notary is notarizing for a realtor. He asks where the bathroom is…and says it’s too small… the realtor says “That’s a half bathroom.” The notary says, “Well why don’t you save money by hiring half a notary to fit in the half bathroom?”

The Realtor replied that they called a notary service called, “Half Notary”, but they were busy. Then, there was “Half-hour Notary”, but they said they couldn’t be there for another six hours. Then they called a notary with a scientific background called, “Half-life Notary”, but they wanted to be paid in used plutonium (odd request). The Realtor told the notary that he was the best that they could do.

So, the notary squeezed in that tiny room, did his business, and then came out.

He said, “Maybe they should have a new Real Estate Term for that type of bathroom, it is more like an eighth bathroom if that exists.”
Realtor: “Never mind that the toilet seat was too narrow, because you are a half-assed notary.”
Notary: “I object to bathroom humor, but I’m partial to half bathroom humor!”
Realtor: “Fair enough, how much more of this signing do we have to complete?”
Notary: “Oh, we’re about half done!”
Realtor: “You know, with loans like this, they’re easy to get, but if the interest rates go up, you’ll never be able to pay them off.”
Notary: “Kind of like an eighth bathroom: you can gargle, but you can’t spit out.”
Realtor: “I think I need to use the bathroom now!”
Notary: “Oh really? Are you going to do a number 1/2 or a number one?”
Realtor: “I don’t know, I’m not good at fractions.”

(1) Why don’t you save money by hiring a 1/2 notary who fits in the 1/2 bathroom?
(2) Never mind that the toilet seat was too narrow cuz ur a half assed notary!
(3) Realtor “I need to use the half bathroom”; Notary: “Are you going to do a #half or a number 1?”

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The Real Estate Agent and the evil girl scouts

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August 7, 2013

The Alaska Real Estate Broker & the Notary

A realtor in Alaska hired an Alaska Notary to go see a property… They took a dog sled out there… The Alaska Notary wanted to get paid in salmon… “I charge an extra piece of salmon if there is an accompanying oath.”

It takes 8 hours to get to a tiny shack that is being sold. They have to sleep in a tent.

Realtor: “I don’t know if I like this because it only has one bathroom.” Seller: “Next to that bush outside–that’s the other bathroom.”

Finally, once the signing has commenced, the notary public Alaska learns that the borrower has no ID. So, they use a sled dog as one of the credible witnesses… “Rover has known me his whole life”, explained the borrower. But, they need another credible witness. So, they take the sled all the way back to the city to get the other credible witness — a friend of the family… The witness has to go to the bathroom… ask Connie if you can use the bathroom– credible witness says “Ask WHO?” There was only one bathroom.

The last time they attempted this loan signing with a notary it was not so easy. This part of Alaska is serviced by planes that drop supplies once every six months. So, if you need a credible witness, they can dump one off on their run.

They flew a witness in…and they flew in a credible witness 6 months after the notary was there… Unfortunately, in Alaska they didn’t understand that the credible witness needs to be there at the same time the notary is there. That complicates things.

In any case, the borrower took an Oath. But, since they live in such a cold climate, he had questions.

Borrower — “Do you think my oath will keep? I’ll just take the oath right now”
Notary — “It will keep if you leave it outside because it’s just below freezing.”

(1) The Alaska Notary wanted to get paid in salmon
(2) Alaska Notary: “I charge an extra piece of salmon if there is an accompanying Oath.”
(3) Broker: “You want to get paid in salmon? That’s wild.”
Alaska Notary: “Well, actually it’s farm raised.”
(4) I thought you said this was a 2-bathroom igloo!
Well, next to that bush-that’s the OTHER bathroom.
(5) The borrower had no ID, so they used the sled dog as one of the credible witnesses.
(6) They used the sled dog as one of the credible witnesses since “Mush” had know the signer his entire life!


August 4, 2013

The Real Estate Agent and the evil girl scouts

There once was a Real Estate Broker who worked in Parsippany. She was always far too busy running around, with pagers going off, phones, faxes, etc. She thought she knew the areas she serviced inside out, and she conveyed a false sense of confidence to her clients as well. But, there was something that she was not aware of. Those nice girl scouts that were in the neighborhood were not so nice at all.

This Real Estate Broker drove a client to a nice home in a quiet part of Parsippany. There were no stores nearby. It was just a bedroom community, or so she thought. But, there was a lot more going on in this quiet neighborhood than our Real Estate Agent friend thought. A group of seemingly innocent girl scouts approached her offering to sell her some cookies. She politely declined. That is where the trouble started. These girls were sick and tired of hearing the term, “No thanks”. The only thing worse were terms that exuded a false sense of hope for the future like, “Maybe next time”. These girls wanted to save enough money for their camping trip — and they were vindictive too.

The client of our Real Estate Agent friend had parked at the Real Estate Office only a mile away. These evil girl scouts had a friend in the parking lot of the Real Estate Office. They had walkie talkies. The girls saw who the lady was who was seeing the house. They radioed back to their friends in the parking lot. They knew which car was the client’s. They disconnected her battery, so that she would be afraid to ever come back. They were trying to put this Real Estate Broker out of business by sabotaging all of her clients — just to get back at her for not buying her cookies.

So, from now on, when a girl scout offers you some cookies — buy extra. Your business could depend on it!

(1) Those nice girl scouts in the neighborhood were not so nice at all. They couldn’t take “no” for an answer.
(2) The “nice” girl scouts got on their walkie talkies & had their friend disconnect the Realtor’s battery. (who wouldn’t buy their cookies)
(3) The “nice” girl scouts had their friend disconnect the Realtor’s battery after she wouldn’t buy their cookies!
(4) When the Realtor found out her engine wouldn’t start, she tossed her own cookies. #girlscouts #notary

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The Notary, the Realtor, and the half bathroom

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