RAJ: We have to get our latest discovery notarized.
SHELDON: How can you notarize a discovery?
LEONARD: Well, perhaps we should patent it at least. To be on the safe side.
RAJ: Yeah, there are people out there who steal inventions all the time.
SHELDON: Our’s hasn’t even been thoroughly tested. And it is so complicated that even we don’t understand it. So, how is a patent thief supposed to understand it?
RAJ: I was so paranoid I didn’t think that part over. But, our “lost electron syndrome” discovery is so critical, maybe to be safe.
PENNY: Oh, I’m sure your electron will show up somewhere. They always do.
SHELDON: Penny, I don’t know if you realize how important our discovery is. We’ve been reading for decades about how Newtonian Physics has been questioned, and how matter can really be created and destroyed. However, very few physicists have actually seen actual matter disappear, especially under the circumstances that we did. We added emotion to our physics experiment. We played happy music and started dancing around the room all joyfully. And an electron disappeared. I counted them — I know.
PENNY: You counted electrons? I should try that!
RAJ: Yeah, I think she should. It’s a good idea. I do that sometimes when I’m bored, or want to practice my powers of observation. I’m calling the Notary… (ring ring)
NOTARY: Arnie’s Notary, Arnie speaking, may I help you?
RAJ: Hello Arnie. You see, we have this discovery we need notarized. How do we exactly get this done?
NOTARY: You need a statement and an ID. The statement is up to you. It must be written up, and include the name of the signer in it if you require an Acknowledged signature. Or you can do a sworn Oath with a Jurat statement. It’s up to you.
RAJ: Either way. I’ll type one up now.
(10 minutes later)
RAJ: Hello Mr. Arnie. Yes, I typed up the document about the discovery. I would like us all to sign it, so I included all of our three names in the text of the document and also in the signature area. And, yes, we all have ID’s, although we seem to be missing an electron.
NOTARY: Oh, no wonder. The funniest thing happened to me yesterday. After a busy day of notarizing, I was watching TV, and you’d never believe what happened?
RAJ: So tell me?
NOTARY: An electron just showed up out of nowhere.
RAJ: Nowhere? An electron. Hold on. Let me get Sheldon. He says he was watching TV and an electron appeared out of nowhere.
SHELDON: Well, do you think it was our electron?
RAJ: How can you tell one electron from another?
NOTARY: Well, I asked the electron for identication just like I do with everyone else. But, it just whizzed around. To me they all look the same.
LEON: Fascinating. That might be our electron.
RAJ: Maybe we should put up a flyer in the halls saying, “Lost electron. Reward if found.”
NOTARY: Before you do that, I’ll be down at your lab to notarize your statement. $30 travel fee and $10 per signature. Cash only! Pay the travel fee up front just in case your ID’s are missing just like your marble.. I mean your electrons.
SHELDON: Oh, one more thing. We’ll have to put you in a bio-hazard suit before entering the lab.
NOTARY: My fee schedule specifically mentions that I charge $5 extra for each time I put on a bio-hazard outfit, but removal is at no cost as a courtesy to the client.
PENNY: Oh, this is so exciting. Can I put on a bio-hazard suit too?
LEON: I don’t think they come in matching colors.
PENNY: Then never mind.
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