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July 31, 2019

Ken’s take on how to be a bad boy-girl aka person — Notary

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 7:48 am

I have been asked by our foolish fearless leader to scribble on the subject of being a “bad boy notary”. It’s not often I get to dwell on all the wicked and evil things I do. Usually I try to present myself as an honest and thoughtful human. Mindful of the fact that my eternity will be in the proverbial warm place; perhaps this confession will warrant my captors to provide some mercy. Unfair Advantage against local peers.

In this competitive environment ya need an edge. Switchblade knives land people in the pokey so I have devised other edges that crush the competition. I have a car parked in an in and out as I please parking spot – 50 feet from my front door. That allows me to have with me two heavy kits. The first is for Notary, the second is for Fingerprinting. Parking is impossible in most of NYC; so I have drafted my spouse as my personal chauffeur. Thus I get driven in a somewhat beaten up Honda Civic to assignments. Spouse drives around the block till I call for pickup. That allows me to bring in an awesomely complete set of supplies, not having a heavy bag to carry everywhere. Fast or Slow the Advertising is Gung Ho.

I use Goobers pay per click. But, my bids are very very low. Some of my key words are a bit off the wall, so nobody bids higher. I don’t get many clicks, by design. But those that I get go to my site and then they are hooked. I put a lot of effort into my site. A lot. I even have an easy to remember redirected link notary.fm (no .com) that goes to the more lengthy site bearing, in all humility my name. It’s wordy; it’s lengthy, and even somewhat entertaining. It’s not just better than others, it crushes them. Add a hot link to my A+ BBB accredited status and they are in a rush to prepay to my PayPoo account. If your advertising budget is tiny, I am delighted. Bribery Works.

But you have to know who and how to pull it off. If I were to offer the office manager who hired me a dollar bill on my way out – they would be insulted. A dollar? But, the tiny keychain flashlight that I buy, by the thousands, costs me under a dollar each. Some clients call me back just to get another. While on site I also bribe the affiant. This does not work with loan packages; but most of my work is corporate documents. I ask them to have a duplicate ready so I can process two copies – no extra charge (the duplicate request is made after fee agreement) – they perceive the cost per copy as being half of my fee. Bribed with a sign, stamp and emboss. I probably have more reviews than you.

The big secret: ASK for them. Write a well written plea for a review. Install it on your home PC and on your cell phone. I don’t do a better job notarizing documents than you do. In fact most squirrels write and notarize neater than I do. But the little rodents don’t send email. Ask for that review, via email – as soon as you are out of the building. While they are reflecting on the good job that you did and that you were a bit early. Also you explained why you had to change the Venue so they do not worry later about an unauthorized change. Share your knowledge for free. Some of my reviews were earned with only phone conversations, got no money, but nuther one!

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