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August 2, 2019

Are you a bad boy Notary?

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 7:55 am

What defines a bad boy Notary? They are just like any other Notary in most respects, but there are differences as well.

1. The bad boy Notary has this, “Don’t give a damn” attitude. He is particular about legal issues because you can get into real trouble for that. But, other things he is less concerned about.

2. The “nice guy” Notary parks on the street or asks permission to park in the driveway. The bad boy Notary parks in the driveway even if there is plenty of room on the street and then says, “Hey baby, I parked in your driveway — I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

3. If the signer is an attractive female: The “nice guy” Notary says, “You’re very beautiful, would you like to go out with me some time?” When she says, “I have a boyfriend.” Then he says, “Oh, I didn’t realize.” When the bad boy Notary hears that she has a boyfriend, he whispers into her ear, “Does he satisfy you?”

4. If the signer is an attractive female: The “nice guy” Notary says, “You have a very pretty smile.” The bad boy Notary asks, “When was the last time you were spanked?”

5. The “nice guy” Notary says, please start here, and feel free to ask if you have any questions about the documents. The bad boy Notary says, “This is a signing appointment — I have another appointment at 8pm and cannot be late. You have borrowers copies that you can read after the signing is over. If you can’t finish by 7:25 I have to leave with all of the Lender documents signed or unsigned. The reality is that the “nice guy” notary will be delayed, end up late at his next appointment, horribly inconvenience the subsequent appointment and get fired. So much for being a pushover!

6. The “nice guy” Notary wears a business jacket. If he is upper class (which is rare in this profession) then he might wear tweed and use correct grammar. The bad boy Notary wears a leather jacket and perhaps a little oil in his hair depending on his personal style. He might wear cowboy boots too and will undoubtedly have a very firm handshake.

7. The “nice guy” Notary apologizes profusely if he needs to thumbprint a signer for legal reasons. The bad boy Notary says, “Hey, I’m gonna need to thumbprint you.” Then if you are a cute female, or perhaps an older female who he feels doesn’t get enough attention for males (which is something he will have to do something about) then he will read your palm and tell you about your love life and other factors.

8. The “nice guy” Notary holds on to packages if there is any reason the signing company might call back. But, sometimes he flakes, forgets to deliver them by cut off and gets severely reprimanded for being a twit. The bad boy Notary gets rid of the package because his attitude is, “that’s your problem, buddy” Yet the bad boy Notary never gets in trouble for getting rid of the package.

9. The “nice guy” Notary wonders why he doesn’t get much business. The bad boy Notary goes to title companies in person, gives flowers to the ladies, winks at them (particularly if they are married), and makes his round of calls to the several hundred signing companies he is associated with, flirts with them and gets used. He says things like, “So, are you as beautiful as person as you sound over the phone?” Women sometimes think he is cheesy (perhaps a brie if he has a French accent), but they never forget him. The nice guy notary gets overlooked and rarely used unless they are desperate.

10. The “nice guy” Notary whines when he doesn’t get paid. The bad boy Notary uses several attorneys and collection agencies and takes legal action against companies regularly. He gets some companies to sign a contract when they are desperate which allows him to collect for all types of damages. He is able to collect triple damages some of the time as well.

So, now we know some of the differences between a nice guy notary and a bad boy Notary. The question is, what can you learn from the bad boy Notary? Please write some comments if there are any other bad boy lessons you can teach us which I neglected to mention.

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