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January 4, 2019

An American Notary dates Chinese Notary using an app.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:35 am

An American Notary named Sam did not speak a word of Chinese, but yet dated Sun-Yee who didn’t speak any English other than what was necessary to pass the Notary exam. They met at a hotel convention center while taking their exam.

SAM: Hi there. I just love your hair.

SUN-YEE: Sorry, no English.

SAM: No problem, we can communicate using this app. I used it with my last foreign girlfriend who was Russian.

SUN-YEE: Oh, Russian.

SAM: The app didn’t translate the subtle nuances of Russian expressions into English. But, she was hot, so I didn’t care and neither did she.

SUN-YEE: Oh, I look up New Ants. Do you mean newly born ants from ant hill?

SAM: No, read this screen — “NUANCE.”

SUN-YEE: Oh, SAT word. Nuance. ha ha ha. I understand now.

SAM: Read this — would you like to date me?

SUN-YEE: I don’t know, are you into Notaries?

SAM: Read this — it takes one to know one.

Anyway, Sam and Sun-Yee happily dated for two months until the translate app got hacked and all of the messages were scrambled. Sam’s comment to Sun-Yee got him slapped.

SAM: Read this — You look nice today (hacked translation) You look like you are having an affair today.

SUN-YEE: Smacks Sam in the face.

SAM: Ouch, what was that for. Hmm. Was it something I typed? Maybe it is time to learn Chinese, and Russian while I am at it.

SUN-YEE: Hmm, I use dictionary to look up what you said for second opinion.

SAM: It is says something good, will you unslap me? Never mind. I’ll use my broken Chinese. If Chinese English is called Chinglish, then what is Americanized sounding Chinese? Am-Ching? NI HEN PIAO LIANG JIN TIAN pointing to i-phone.

SUN-YEE: Ohhh. I so sorry, translate wrong. I unslap you now. XIE XIE, NI YEH HEN HAO KAN.

SAM: Gee thanks… You said I am also very good looking. Hmm, I wonder if your dictionary has the term credible witness?

SUN-YEE: Oh, that sound’s dirty. You want someone to watch? SMACK!!!!

SAM: I seem to be getting beaten up here. This is pre-spousal abuse. How will I marry this girl?

Finally after another two weeks, the app was frozen, and could not be used. Sun-Yee lost her dictionary, and the two of them had no way to communicate other than by having a certified translator make a notarized copy of every sentence they said. They took him along on one date and then Sam decided he liked the translator better than Sun-Yee. So, ends the story of Sam & Sun-Yee. The moral of the story is that technology is all so wonderful until you have a power outage or get hacked.

After that, Sam learned perfect Chinese, but then fell in love with a Portuguese lady and found that his study had been a waste of time. He should have been studying Portuguese. But, then his girlfriend dumped him and he got a job in Chinese teaching English and found that his Chinese was useful after all. Too bad he couldn’t bring his Notary seal to China otherwise he could have made a mint.

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