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August 4, 2017

A Notary orders pizza during a signing using an app

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:19 am

Which Came First – The Wings/Pizza or the Signer?

Did you hear the one about the notary who ordered pizza and chicken wings with an app before a signing, with the intent they would arrive there shortly after he did? You’re about to.

It turns out the wings didn’t exactly fly over and the pizza didn’t get there in 30 minutes or less. So the notary was finished with the signing and the signer wanted him out of there. But wait – wings and a pizza were coming. Not to mention, thanks to its lateness, a free pizza! The signer didn’t want the notary in his house, nor the food. Especially since he was a vegetarian. So that’s why he looks younger than the date on his driver’s license indicated, thought the notary. Couldn’t he just stick around outside and wait for the food, asked the growingly hungry notary? No, said the signer. He doesn’t allow himself within a mile of any food whose parent had a face. What about heads, as in heads of lettuce? The signer didn’t appreciate the notary’s sarcasm.

If only the notary ordered mushrooms on his pizza instead of pepperoni, he’d at least be able to scarf that down. Guess again, said the signer. Cheese is made from milk, which comes from cows, whose fathers had faces.

Ding-Dong! It must the pizza/chicken wing delivery guy!

Signer: “You can’t open that door.”

Notary: “Please! I’m starving.”
Signer: “What part of ‘can’t’ don’t you understand?!”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the pizza/chicken wing delivery guy. It was the signer’s friend coming over to watch TV. The notary begged to watch with them till his food arrived. Suddenly the signer had a change of heart.

Signer: “Watch TV? Sure, be my guest!”

The horrifying conclusion to this story – The signer and his friend were cannibals. Vegetarian cannibals. When the notary watched crap on TV with them, he was, in effect, “vegging”. An hour later, the food was delivered. The signer and his friend told the delivery boy they were FULL. The notary was never heard from again. You might say his fate was SIGNED, sealed and delivered.

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