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March 5, 2019

Bikers on boats; Notaries heisting signatures

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:59 am

A pirate is no different than a biker on a boat. But, what about Notaries in cars heisting signatures.

NOTARIES: This is a stick up. Hand over your signatures. This is a heist!

SIGNERS: But, we have no signatures

NOTARIES: Then start signing. Hmm. That sounds familiar. And make sure we get paid on time.

FRANK: You don’t get paid during a heist. You just take what you take.

JOHN: Okay you’re right. But, with all of this signing, I should get a check cut for $50 at least.

SIGNERS: Umm, what are we signing?

JOHN: How about this napkin.

SIGNER #1: I’m afraid that the pen might rip the napkin.

JOHN: Just shut up and sign — this is a heist. I repeat. This is a heist.

FRANK: Okay, we have the signatures now what?

JOHN: We get in the get away car. I hope Charlie’s not drinking coffee again. That will spill when we take off.

CHARLIE: Ready. Donuts this time and a Starbuck’s can. I’ll just chuck it out the window.

FRANK: Okay, take off.

(sirens)

POLICE: License and registration please.

FRANK: Is there anything wrong officer?

POLICE: We got a complaint about you.

JOHN: We didn’t steal the signatures, honest. They were given to us.

POLICE: The complaint was not about signatures. It was about a Starbucks can that was thrown out the window. Breaker 1 breaker. Littering call being responded to with a 123.

FRANK: The irony of it all. Charlie, I knew you shouldn’t have had any coffee. At least we weren’t speeding.

JOHN: With this traffic, who can speed. Besides, we don’t get paid enough for driving this far just for a few signatures.

POLICE: Okay, you are going to get a warning for this, but I’m going to send it to you by text. Sound familiar?

JOHN: Sure, kind of like cattle calls. We’re used to that. Just don’t give us any $40 offers please.

POLICE: Don’t worry I won’t. And if I ever need anything notarized, trust me, I’ll call anyone except you!

FRANK: Thanks a bunch!

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