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December 16, 2021

Kamala gives a speech to kids about being a Notary

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:14 pm

KAMALA: You can be anything you want to be.

KID #1: Anything?

KAMALA: Anything. Remember. Other people don’t tell you what you can be, YOU tell THEM what you can be.

KID #2: Aren’t YOU telling me what I can be by telling me I can be anything?

KAMALA: If you want to get technical, but since anything is ambiguous, that makes it okay, alright kid?

KID #3: Can I be an astronaut?

KID #2: She just said you can be anything. That includes astronauts.

KID #4: What about being a Notary?

KAMALA: You can be a Notary. If you do, there will be many unexpected things you will have to deal with.

KID #1: The way you describe being a Notary sounds a lot like how you describe being a Vice President.

KAMALA: The two jobs have a lot in common.

KID #1: Not going to the border being one of them.

KAMALA: We have the border completely under control. There is no need to go there. We like leaving it open. Why should people be prevented from coming here.

KID #1: I agree, it’s mean not to let people come here. On the other hand, what if those people we are being nice to are affiliated with the Taliban.

KAMALA: I’m sure our border guards will screen the four million people who came in this year one by one and keep us safe. Let’s go back to talking about being whatever you want to be and telling people who you are rather than letting them tell you who you are and that type of thing.

KID #1: Got it. I am a border guard. I self-identify as being a border guard, and you cannot tell me that I’m not.

KAMALA: Very good, and I’m sure that you will be the best border guard ever.

KID #2: Yeah, just go easy on the whip otherwise you might attract the wrong type of attention.

KID #3: I’m very good at evading issues and changing the topic of conversation so gracefully, you won’t even notice. Are there any professions I might be well suited for?

KAMALA: Sure, as a proud member of the Notary community, people will bring up politics and religion at signings. And in order not to get in trouble you have to change the topic of conversation ever so smoothly, so nobody even noticed.

JEREMY: When your administration so gracefully changed the conversation from the border to outer space, the folks in Texas who live near the border noticed loud and clear. They are no longer safe leaving their house. An in my neighborhood far from the border there are now muggings, robberies, assaults, and all types of other crimes that simply did not exist (on a regular basis) before your administration. We notice. We also noticed that during your astronomy video, when a girl asked you what it was like to be Vice President, that you conveniently glossed over that question and talked about how your mother was a scientist and how we can all wonder about the stars. I noticed that. We notice a lot of things you and your administration do — because it endangers us.

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