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January 13, 2011

Notary Public Cures Lying!

Being economical with our finances is challenging. Being “economical” with the truth is a snap. That’s because fudging a bit is a byproduct of being all too human. But notary publics shine a light on the signed, sealed and delivered un-stretched truth. Imagine if we navigated the half-truths of life with the added assurance a notary would provide? Imagine no more.

· “It’s not you. It’s me.”

Okay… Before we break up and I draw at least some comfort from the fact I had the misfortune of choosing a partner who wasn’t good enough for me instead of vice versa, would you be willing to sign “It’s not you, it’s me” in front of Jeremy, my 123notary.com truth detector?

“Okay, it is you. Where do I sign?”

Oh well. Thanks for lying. Till a couple seconds ago, that is.

· “We’ll keep your résumé on file.”

And I’ll keep my notarized statement in which you promise to keep my résumé on file… on file.

“We’ll keep your résumé in the nearest circular file till the janitor heaves it. That you can notarize.”

Wow. I’ve been canned before, but never garbage canned.

“Your résumé didn’t mention you’d been canned before.”

You actually read my résumé? I’m honored!

“As I was folding it into a paper airplane, I couldn’t help but notice.”

· Billy “likes” this on Facebook.

And Jeremy at 123notary.com likes the fact you like this, once you let him notarize your thumb up.

“Billy likes avoiding work by killing time on Facebook. That you can notarize.”

Thanks, unfriend.

· “You look great.”

You didn’t tell me that sixty years ago when I was twenty. Why should a bunch of liver spots change things? I won’t believe you till 123notary.com makes it official.

“Don’t forget. When you were twenty, my eyesight was still good. That you can notarize.”

Okay. At least you’ll be able to feel the seal.

· “You’re a wonderful cook.”

Thanks. My dog you’re secretly passing the chicken to under the table seems to agree. Would you mind letting 123notary.com seal the deal and paper on which you praise my culinary skills?

“I was talking about the time you cooked up the whopper about how you can cook. That you can notarize.”

Well, you’ll have to come again sometime. I’m talking to the dog.

· “I’ll call you sometime.”

Yes, you will. If I can have Jeremy at 123notary.com notarize your promise to do just that.

“ ‘I’ll call you a name sometime.’ That you can notarize.”

I’ll be sure to return the call.

· “What a great audience.”

Thanks. After Jeremy from 123notary.com notarizes the cue card off of which you read that, I’ll believe you.

“No problem. Come on up, Jeremy.”

Jeremy affixes his official seal to the cue card. The card is so thick, the seal can’t make it all the way through, rendering the audience less than certifiably great. They start booing, further validating why Jeremy’s seal made less than an impression.

Thanks, you’ve been great readers. Jeremy… can you confirm that?

Andy Cowan is an award-winning writer, producer and performer, whose credits include “Cheers,” “Seinfeld” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” He can be reached through his website, http://upanddownguys.com

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Wheel of Fortune – Notary Edition

WHEEL OF FORTUNE – Notary Edition

Pat: Let’s say hello to our contestants. Joe here is a notary public from Commishigan. Sounds like fascinating work, Joe.

Joe: More than hosting a glorified “Hangman” for over thirty years.

Pat: Ouch. You got me there, Joe. And hello to Marie. It says you are a notary public from Seal Beach. “Seal”. Makes sense. Okay, the puzzle is a 17 letter word. You won the coin toss, Marie. Take a spin.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: Well, if you’re looking for big money, you picked the wrong profession.

Marie: Cheap shot, Pat.

Pat: Speaking of cheap – $200.

Marie: Any S’s?

Pat: Three S’s. Go again.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $450

Marie: X?

Pat: No X’s. Unless you’re signing a document that way. Joe, your turn.

Joe: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $1000!

Joe: Any R’s?

Pat: Two R’s.

Joe: I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat. I mean the one besides how it is Vanna White still has a job.

Pat: That puzzle we’ll never solve.

Joe: “Errors and Emission”.

Pat: Speaking of errors, you just made one, yourself there, Joe. Marie, a break for you.

Marie: I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. Are there any O’s?

Pat: Three O’s.

Marie: I’d like to solve the puzzle. “Errors and Omission”.

Pat: As in the insurance policy that protects notaries liable for honest mistakes. Joe, too bad you didn’t have it when you made your honest mistake a minute ago.

Joe: Good thing a credible witness didn’t see me make it. Unless you call Vanna “credible.”

Pat: If it involves signaling things with her hands, I do. Especially the profane gesture she’s using right now!

.

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January 12, 2011

Notary Jail

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (very) — Tags: — admin @ 12:00 pm

WARDEN: Welcome to Notary Jail — Don’t drop the embosser!
It’s time for mug shots. Turn to the right and say “scilicit” — that’s a notary term. You would know that if you read your Notary handbook. And by the way, selling your notary seal on eBay, was it really worth it?

NOTARY: Hey, I got paid $800 for it. I was in a pinch and needed the money.

WARDEN: Well you won’t have to worry about being behind on rent here!

I think that I am the first person to come up with this concept. Notary jail. Where Notaries go when they’ve been bad. But, most Notaries have been bad, they just didn’t get caught because their secretary of state’s don’t bother to enforce a single law. What is the point of having laws if you don’t enforce them?

Oath Omissions
If you forget to administer an Oath you should be sent to Notary jail and get booked. The first thing they will do is thumbprint you in their journal. Then, they will ask you if you take journal thumbprints. If you say, “My state doesn’t require that.” Then they will put you in solitary confinement. After all, an innocent person could be scammed out of everything they own and the culprit could run free simply because you didn’t take a thumbprint.

ID-ing
If you didn’t ID someone correctly, then a cell in the insane ward would be in order. Since you let John Smith sign as John W Smith, you will also not mind being around five people who are sure that they are Abraham Lincoln.

Loose Certificates
And then there are the people who don’t fill in certificates properly or send loose certificates in the mail. Tisk tisk. The staff at Notary jail will goof on your jail paperwork if you do that and you’ll be in for a long time.

Jail Food?
Oh, and the food at Notary jail? Embossed flat bread sandwiches. You get that nice raised seal embossed pattern on every bite. Then they have a breakfast cereal called frosted mini-seals. Oh, and one more thing. They have soap shaped like a Notary seal. But, don’t drop the soap (or don’t drop the seal.)

Entertainment at Notary jail involves watching television documentaries on the notary profession and NNA how to materials. When they run out of sleeping pills, they have written Notary materials for you to study. The yard outside is shaped like a giant notary seal. You get an hour of outside time per day.

Notary Questions
And if they ask Notary questions in Notary jail, don’t talk back to the guards like you normally do to Jeremy. Just answer questions the way they were asked and you might get time off for good behavior.

Conclusion
In real life, the Notaries who end up in jail are those who committed fraud involving real property. Trying to steal someone’s property and put it in someone else’s name using your Notary commission is the worst crime you can commit.

Then there are the cases where fraud happens that is not the Notary’s fault. Perhaps if the Notary had been more careful filling out the certificates or journal entries it would be easier to prove what happened. But, in such cases, the notary ends up in court, not jail.

If you do end up in Notary jail, you might bump into a few of your Mortgage Broker clients. On the other hand, they have their own jail — Mortgage Jail.

.

Can a Notary go to jail for Notary fraud?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21353

Putting jails and hospitals into your notes section
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19266

Go to jail but DO collect $100
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15361

Find a notary who goes to Twin Towers Jail and other Los Angeles Prisons
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21349

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January 11, 2011

The Notary Asylum

The Notary Asylum

We all know what the process is to become a notary — filling out the forms, applying to our Secretary of State, getting our seal, etc. But, what the State Notary Handbook doesn’t tell you is what becomes of Notaries who become crazy as a result of being a Notary.

There are lots of stress-inducers in this business. There are signing companies that don’t pay. Others like to micromanage. Constantly ringing phones, constant excuses for why the money hasn’t arrived when it was supposed to already. These are ingredients for frustration in the sanest of people. Borrowers who want to comb over every page when you’re already late for your next appointment! If our Founding Fathers had dilly-dallied over the signing of the Declaration of Independence as long, they would have told more people than Benjamin Franklin to go fly a kite! Some mistreat their Notaries. Call it Notary Abuse. Some send late eDocuments or send you to borrowers that aren’t even home and didn’t know they had a signing after they instructed you — “don’t call the borrowers.” Inaccurate or missing information is another recipe for frustration. Rates are often different from what was quoted. So no wonder an increasing rate of Notaries are developing varying signs of insanity. There needs to be a place for Notaries who have lost their documents… and minds. So, we decided to create one. It’s called — The Notary Asylum!

NOTARY #1: I run SnapDocs

NOTARY #2: No I run SnapDocs

DOCTOR: I think that both of you have a share in SnapDocs.

NOTARY #1: No, he doesn’t — I run SnapDocs

DOCTOR: Last week you said you ran 123notary

NOTARY #1: Well that was last week. This week I run SnapDocs

DOCTOR: You seem agitated. That’s not a good sign.

NOTARY #2: Ahhhhhhhhh!

DOCTOR: What’s the matter?

NOTARY #2: You said “sign.”

NOTARY #1: Ahhhhhhhhh!

DOCTOR: Sorry. Forget about your work. You don’t need me to… the s word… any document. You needn’t get all fired up about it.

NOTARY #2: Speaking of fired, last week I ran the NNA. I fired a lot of people too.

DOCTOR: Well, what does your paperwork say? Do you have documents proving your ownership?

NOTARY #1: I don’t need to.

NOTARY #2: I didn’t get paid; I didn’t get paid; I didn’t get paid. Shoot Docs never paid me.

DOCTOR: There is no Shoot Docs.

NOTARY #2: Are you going to not pay me as well? You never pay me.

DOCTOR: I am a psychiatric analyst. It is not my job to pay you. The state pays me.

NOTARY #2: Well at least somebody pays somebody around here.

DOCTOR: You’re both fine looking patients.

NOTARY #1: I don’t call paying us compliments paying us.

DOCTOR: I was just giving you my seal of approval.

NOTARY #1 and #2: Ahhhhhhhhh!

DOCTOR: “Seal.” Sorry, I give you my oath…

NOTARY #1 and #2: Ahhhhhhhhh!

DOCTOR: … that I’ll be more careful next time. As for now, I recommend that both of you take a break from… you know. Enjoy something that doesn’t remind you of your… you know.

NOTARY #1: That sounds wonderful.

DOCTOR: I’m releasing the both of you. Fill these prescriptions at your pharmacy. It’ll help you relax.

NOTARY #2: (reading) You forgot to sign it.

DOCTOR and NOTARY #1 and NOTARY #2: Ahhhhhhhhh!

One way to restore your sanity in the notary world: Know that you’re not alone if frustrations sometimes get the better of you. Being aware of what can go wrong can sometimes prepare you to ride out the frustrations when they occur. If you develop a Zen-like attitude and let at least some of it roll off your back, the next time a vendor doesn’t have yours (back, that is) you’ll commit yourself to moving on, not the notary asylum!

.

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Scribbles: A Notary Comedy Club

Improv; or could be like a class; hecklers

HOST: To get a spot at the Notary comedy club you have to sign up to do a spot and have a Notary witness your signature!

JOHNNIE: Well, do you have a witness protection program?

SALLY: Why, did you witness the wrong Will and get into trouble?

JOHNNIE: I was just thinking. What if an evil son of a Billionaire, had an older guy forge the signature of his father at a Will signing, and you were the witness? You might be oblivious to the entire situation until the rest of the family comes after you. Then, you’ll need a witness protection program.

SALLY: Oh, so you’re not joking. I thought this was a comedy club!

HECKLER: That’s not funny, you should be entered into the witless protection program.

HOST: Welcome to Scribbles, how’s everyone doing? I can attest to the fact that you are going to have a great time tonight, but don’t make me swear under Oath by it. At Scribbles, you won’t see us kill a joke, but we will execute a document! This next performer has won approval in Notary comedy clubs across the country.

SALLY: Hi, my name is Sally. I am proud to say that I come pre-approved, but they claim that they still need to run my credit. And I pre-disapprove of that. I strongly believe in the concept of joke recycling. You know, my seal doesn’t have an expiration date, it just says, “better if used by Feb 17th, 2014.”

HECKLER: Hey I heard that before!

SALLY: Yes, that is because I recycled that joke. I think it’s such a shame to let a perfectly good joke end up in the trash when you could recycle or reuse it. That makes such a difference for the environment, at least in comedic circles. There’s just one thing. How come nobody recycles my jokes?

HECKLER: Because your jokes aren’t funny!

JAKE: Hi, I’m Jake. I’m also a Notarial comic. Hey you in the front.

GUY IN FRONT: Who me?

JAKE: Yeah you! Is that an Affidavit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

GUY IN FRONT: It must be an Affidavit because I’m not happy to see you!

JAKE: Hey, I’m not exactly doing cartwheels looking at your ugly face either, buddy! Speaking of barely credible witnesses, I had a signing company tell me that they would be paying me on Tuesday the 29th. Unfortunately, when I looked at my calendar this year, there is no February 29th.

This a great crowd! So, has anyone done any good Oaths recently?

GUY IN FRONT: Funny you should mention that.

HECKLER: That’s the first time he was funny all night!

GUY IN FRONT: I have a lot of Vietnamese clients. You know if you have a guy name Tan, you can say Tan the man. But, I recently had a client named Tran the Dan/Ann who was swearing that he was a man.

HECKLER: Well, I bet Tran was happy to see you.

HOST: It’s time for our next Notary who will think he’s not getting any respect unless you fulfill your 2 drink minimum.

RODNEY: You know, I think you should change that to a two Jurat minimum. A Jurat sounds a lot more credible than a drink, plus you can’t spill it no matter how hard you try. I just went to a Notary comedy club where they don’t charge a fixed fee at the door, but they charge by the laugh. $2 per laugh with a five laugh minimum. Putting laugh minimums aside, I just did a Notary act that didn’t get me any respect. No respect at all! An 80 year old woman asked me to do a Deed… It was the dirty Deed!

AUDIENCE: Ewwwww!

RODNEY: I just did a loan signing that doesn’t get me any respect. The credible witnesses didn’t look believable, the signer was two hours late, and the hostess didn’t offer me any cool-aid. Then the signer’s kid told me he couldn’t wait until my commission expired. What a family! No respect. No respect at all!

My wife’s idea of a civil action is telling me that I’m only “kind of” ugly!

I had to put my last property into Escrow. It wasn’t until the next day that Title’s in my wife’s name… as she calls herself, my much better half. And all these years I thought she had Subpoena envy.

HOST: Thanks a bunch. You’ve been a great crowd. Next week, make sure to attend our all you can laugh comedy buffet.

.

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January 10, 2011

Russian notary Hacks Hillary’s Emails!

Filed under: Andy Cowan — admin @ 6:13 am

FBI director Comey thinks the Russians may have hacked Hilary Clinton’s emails. (And that’s pronounced “Comey,” not “commie.”) And it could very well be a Russian notary! Then again, it might not be a Russian notary. Or it might be somebody who wants you to think he’s a Russian notary. And these could be duplicates of emails Comey has already seen. Comey is sure of one thing. That he’s not sure of this one thing.

Nevertheless, speculation continues that a Soviet notary public has hacked into Clinton’s most sensitive emails. How do we know they’re sensitive? The smiley faces aren’t quite smiling. More like biting their tongues.

Since some of the emails were duplicates, the notary wanted to charge extra for duplicates. (A buck’s a buck, or as the Russian notary put it, a ruble’s a ruble.) But the government refused to pay more, so the notary suggested a nice game of Russian roulette instead. And being a gentleman, he’d let the government “go” first. The notary lived to complain in the 123Notary form about not being paid enough.

A sign it could be a notary who did the hacking: They fixated on one of the terms in one of the emails, “executor,” a person in charge of carrying out the provisions of a will. One sign it could be a Russian notary approved by Putin: Their fixation on “executor” as it relates to a person in charge of causing another person to need a will… namely, the person who executes the other person! Let’s not forget Putin was former member of the KGB.

Hillary’s emails were found on a computer used by her assistant, Huma Abedin, and notorious sexter, Anthony Weiner. The same computer on which Weiner wrote about his no longer private parts to various women. In one email, the Russian notary validated they were indeed Weiner’s private parts, and that he was of full age and capacity to perform as a sleaze by stamping it with his seal of disapproval.

Other classified emails of Hillary’s the Russian notary is interested in… when she accused Trump of being a puppet for Putin. The notary asked which kind of puppet she accused Trump of being, a hand puppet, or marionette? If the latter, the notary wondered why Hillary wouldn’t thereby feel a kinship with the Donald since there are always strings attached with Hillary as well, something the notary had acknowledged in an acknowledgment certificate.

If Hillary becomes president, instead of the Chief Justice witnessing her taking the oath of office, the Russian notary asked why not a professional? Namely, a notary? Plus he’d be able to witness her signature on her first veto – when Republicans in Congress vote to make America grating again.

.

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Welcome to the Notary Casino

Welcome to the Notary Casino, where your dreams and ours come true!

Your dream is to have fun, and we will fulfill that fantasy. Our dream is to get you to lose most of your money in the slot machines, and it looks like we are well on our way to that dream.

Spin the embosser! Oh, it landed on a 7. You win… this time.
You win twenty embossed chips! And chips on your shoulder after you lose them later on gambling them away.

Now, it’s time to celebrate in our buffet. The noodles are in the shape of chips. If you want more, just say, “Hit me.” (If you’re into pain, you can also say “Hit me.”) Enjoy our ice sculpture in the shape of a witness.

Instead of pounding steaks, we emboss them in a giant embosser. Additionally, in the seafood section we sell real seal meat sushi and Angus beef. If you want the certified Angus beef, ask for a complimentary Notary. Additionally, if you get in an argument with your husband, you can make him eat his words after you spell them with our letter shaped noodles! The catch at the Notary Buffet is that you have to make a Notarized pledge under Oath that you will finish what’s on your plate. Either that or put the rest in escrow.

There’ll be entertainers and impersonators. Don’t expect to know who they’re pretending to be – We don’t get top drawer entertainment. But as Notaries, you’ll be able to check their ID to learn their actual identities.

Now, time for the slot machines. If you get three oranges, you win one chip. If you get three witnesses, you win ten chips. If you get three embossers, you win the jackpot! We can attest to that.

All we ask is that you personally appear before the slot machines — it’s a legal thing…

.

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January 9, 2011

Notary Hotel 2 — the sequel

Welcome to The Notary Hotel, for all things notarial.

Customer: “Wow, this hotel is so notarial, even the notepad comes with Jurat wording!”
Reception: “We cater to a very specific market over here.”
Customer: “That is great, but honestly, at one of those other Notary Hotels, there were ink stains on the wash cloth!”
Reception: “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear about that. That must be the hotel on the other side of town that is currently out of commission, right?”
Customer: “That’s the one, but I don’t like to mention names!”
Reception: “I understand”
Customer: “And they were annoying too. Each room had a fax machine, so they could fax the bill to you, and they required three dozen fax backs before they would let you check out!”
Reception: “Sounds like that other notary hotel, or the Notel, as we call it was owned by a signing service.”
Customer: “Tell me about it.”
Reception: “We are notarial, but in a good way over here, well at least we like to think we are. You’ll enjoy our notarial breakfast. You get an embossed waffle. Instead of having the regular grid, you will get a huge impression of a circular embossed notary seal. Instead of an expiration date on the seal, we say — best if consumed before 6-01-2014 — for example.
Customer: “I’m hungry already.

Can you expedite my express-o?
Reception: “Then, you’ll enjoy a cup or two of our signature French roast coffee — but, you don’t have to notarize the signature.”
Customer: “Great, because I don’t feel comfortable with foreign language notarizations.”
Reception: “Oh no, it’s not a French language roast, the coffee is English speaking, and so is the signature.”
Customer: “In that case, that will be fine. I prefer espresso though.”
Reception: “Well, since we are a boutique hotel, we can make espresso upon special request.”
Customer: “Can you expedite my express-o? No pun intended.”
Reception: “And over here, instead of paying by the night, you can stay for a pre-arranged number of days, weeks or months — we call that period of time a commission!”
Customer: “Boy, you guys are just too notarial. Next thing you know, I’ll have to take a proctored test to stay here.”

What type of Notelarization?
Reception: “Well, we test you in other less pronounced ways — to make sure you know what you’re doing. Can you sign the register please, I mean the journal? We like our guests to sign it. We’re a bit old fashioned.”
Customer: “So, where you do you want me to sign it?”
Reception: “That was part of the test. You are the notary, you are supposed to know. You sign in the signature section!”
Customer: “Right… what was I thinking. I’ve been doing this job for twenty years and still have to be reminded! I’ll put the type of Notelarization as well — acknowledged overnight stay.”
Reception: “Super. Let me check your ID, to make sure the name matches the one in the journal. Your ID says, Ralph E Emerson, and you signed Ralph Wemerson? Am I missing something?”
Customer: “Well, over time, my E became sideways and began to look more like a W. You understand, right?”
Reception: “Well, at least it’s not like Wang Zhu Ming from China who signed in Chinese characters.”
Customer: “That’s nothing, I had an Egyptian who signed in hieroglyphics once, or at least it looked that way!”

Standards at the Notary Hotel
Reception: “At our Notel, we have standards. If any of the maids fails to abide by the following regulations, their commissions can be suspended, revoked, or terminated.”

(1) Failure to require the guest to sign for their food delivered during room service
(2) Failure to administer an Oath for the late night lasagna Jurat
(3) Failure to honor the 3 minute right to rescind on midnight tacos

Affidavit of Maid Services must be signed at the door. The date and time must be documented as well, along with an indication of the type of maid-torial act. For example, they could acknowledge that they made up the room.

Customer: “It sounds wonderful. This Notel operates for the benefit of the customer. What about late night pay-per-flick. Is there a rescission period for that if I don’t like the movie?”
Reception: “Yes, you can mail, or fax your…”
Customer: “Stop right there, did you say fax? I’m out of here!”
Reception: “No wait… come back…”

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January 8, 2011

The Notary Police

Filed under: General Stories,Popular on Linked In,Popular on Twitter — admin @ 8:22 am

Have you ever been pulled over by the Notary police? The problem is that there is no such thing. But, if there were, then there would be one more thing to gripe about. Can you imagine if there were Notary police? If you gave an Oath the wrong way or forgot all together, you might get a citation — I swear it. And if your seal was smudgy you might get a warning. What if you identified someone incorrectly because the ID did not match? You might have to spend the night getting booked at the Notary jail.

I think that the Secretary of State should pretend to be a customer and see how many things you do wrong and then book you. That is my idea of what the Notary police should be like. California used to audit people’s journals. That was the one type of Notary procedural checks and balance that they had. I am not sure they are still doing that.

I do a little Notary policing to make sure people know their basics. The sad part is that only 5% of our Notaries on 123notary are up to my standards for minimal Notary knowledge acceptability. That is really sad. But, what can I do? I can’t force people to learn who refuse to know their job (yet brag about how great they are because of how many years they have been doing their job probably incorrectly.)

In the mean time — licensed and commission certificate please. Keep both hands on your seal.

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January 7, 2011

Notary Funeral — When the Commission Expired

Filed under: Andy Cowan — Tags: , — admin @ 12:03 pm

NOTARY FUNERAL – WHEN THE COMMISSION EXPIRED

We’re gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of a man who made the world a better place. Since he’s no longer here, I don’t have to swear to that. He first knew he wanted to make a mark on the world when he asked to witness others making marks on pieces of paper. Other kids learned the three Rs. Our friend who we miss so learned the three-kinda-looks-like-Rs-but-better-make-sure-they’re-legible-before-he-definitely-calls-them-Rs. He was accepted as a Navy Seal, but chose to join the Notary Seals. His most dangerous mission – asking for Edward Scissorhands’ signature. He switched from pre-med to pre-notary in college, because he wanted to witness legible handwriting instead of his own horrendous handwriting had he stayed a doctor.

He was a good man who never backdated. He met his dear wife on the notary dating site, affiant.com. His wife tried to get his death certificate notarized, not realizing you can’t notarize vital records. We don’t measure his life in years, but the number of commissions he held, ever since he was of legal age. He signed, sealed, and now he shall be delivered.

Instead of being cremated, he requested to be shredded.

In lieu of flowers, his family requests pens. He never had enough pens.

You might also like:

Notary Hell — Yeah, but it’s a dry heat
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13196

Witnessing intake forms for Notary heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

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