WARDEN: Welcome to Notary Jail — Don’t drop the embosser!
It’s time for mug shots. Turn to the right and say “scilicit” — that’s a notary term. You would know that if you read your Notary handbook. And by the way, selling your notary seal on eBay, was it really worth it?
NOTARY: Hey, I got paid $800 for it. I was in a pinch and needed the money.
WARDEN: Well you won’t have to worry about being behind on rent here!
I think that I am the first person to come up with this concept. Notary jail. Where Notaries go when they’ve been bad. But, most Notaries have been bad, they just didn’t get caught because their secretary of state’s don’t bother to enforce a single law. What is the point of having laws if you don’t enforce them?
If you forget to administer an Oath you should be sent to Notary jail and get booked. The first thing they will do is thumbprint you in their journal. Then, they will ask you if you take journal thumbprints. If you say, “My state doesn’t require that.” Then they will put you in solitary confinement. After all, an innocent person could be scammed out of everything they own and the culprit could run free simply because you didn’t take a thumbprint.
If you didn’t ID someone correctly, then a cell in the insane ward would be in order. Since you let John Smith sign as John W Smith, you will also not mind being around five people who are sure that they are Abraham Lincoln.
And then there are the people who don’t fill in certificates properly or send loose certificates in the mail. Tisk tisk. The staff at Notary jail will goof on your jail paperwork if you do that and you’ll be in for a long time.
Oh, and the food at Notary jail? Embossed flat bread sandwiches. You get that nice raised seal embossed pattern on every bite. Then they have a breakfast cereal called frosted mini-seals. Oh, and one more thing. They have soap shaped like a Notary seal. But, don’t drop the soap (or don’t drop the seal.)
Entertainment at Notary jail involves watching television documentaries on the notary profession and NNA how to materials. When they run out of sleeping pills, they have written Notary materials for you to study. The yard outside is shaped like a giant notary seal. You get an hour of outside time per day.
And if they ask Notary questions in Notary jail, don’t talk back to the guards like you normally do to Jeremy. Just answer questions the way they were asked and you might get time off for good behavior.
In real life, the Notaries who end up in jail are those who committed fraud involving real property. Trying to steal someone’s property and put it in someone else’s name using your Notary commission is the worst crime you can commit.
Then there are the cases where fraud happens that is not the Notary’s fault. Perhaps if the Notary had been more careful filling out the certificates or journal entries it would be easier to prove what happened. But, in such cases, the notary ends up in court, not jail.
If you do end up in Notary jail, you might bump into a few of your Mortgage Broker clients. On the other hand, they have their own jail — Mortgage Jail.
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