1923 was a year that made history. President Warren G. Harding unexpectedly died in office, and Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as the thirtieth president by his father, John Calvin Coolidge, Sr.
The public hadn’t exactly been in love with Harding’s scandalous administration. And “Silent Cal,” as the new Prez came to be called, wasn’t exactly Mr. Excitement. But Cal’s old man? Now there was a significant figure. The first and last notary public to swear in the leader of the free world!
Notice I said last. Toss aside the fact there was concern over whether a state notary public had the power to administer the presidential oath of office, which is why Cal repeated the oath after he returned to Washington. For a “silent” guy, he sure liked to take oaths.
No, the real reason John Calvin Coolidge was the last of his kind: His ego exploded.
Recently released transcripts (not authenticated by a notary public, but don’t hold that against me) indicate John Calvin rubbed the noses of his fellow notary publics in his rarified accomplishment.
JCC: “How’s work treating you?”
Fellow notary public: “Fine.”
JCC: “That doesn’t sound too ‘fine’.”
Fellow notary public: “I certified a transaction today.”
JCC: “I swore in the President.”
Fellow notary public: “I swore in the shower. It involved your name and a blunt instrument.”
JCC: “Come again?”
Fellow notary public: “I know you swore in the President. You won’t let anyone forget you swore in the President!”
JCC: “How could anyone forget? It was unforgettable. I put my stamp on the book of history. You put yours on, what was it again?”
Fellow notary public: (mumbling) “A transaction.”
JCC: “Sorry, I forgot.”
Fellow notary public: “Why don’t you take a page from your silent son I’ll gladly certify, and shut your trap?”
JCC: “I don’t need your seal of approval, my little man. The President I raised and whose right hand I raised gave me his, or I wouldn’t have been chosen to raise it!”
KABOOM!
That wasn’t the fellow notary public’s weapon silencing his detractor. It was the sound of an exploding ego.
Andy Cowan is an award-winning writer, producer and performer, whose credits include “Cheers,” “Seinfeld” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” He can be reached through his website, http://upanddownguys.com
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The plural of “Notary Public” is “Notaries Public,” not “Notary Publics.”
Comment by Clifton Palmer McLendon — August 6, 2013 @ 5:36 pm