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September 1, 2019

How to effectively pick up Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:55 pm

Are you trying to pick me up?
Well I’m not putting you down!

If you want to date Notaries, you need to ask yourself a few pointed questions. First of all, why? Notaries are one of the most downtrodden professions in the world. Mostly they whine about not getting paid, yet do nothing to ensure that they do. Based on the fact that out of 7000 Notaries on 123notary, only about 100 or so have attained and kept our certification it seems that few have much knowledge or are concerned with proving their knowledge yet most make unsubstantiated claims to knowledge. Sounds very phony. Additionally, mobile Notaries have a tiring life on the road getting jerked around from job to job, having jobs cancelled and sometimes not getting paid. So, once again, why would you want to date a Notary.

ME: (back in the old days) Sign here please.

GIRL: Oh, I’m so excited to meet you. Do Notaries get paid well?

ME: Oh, about $3000 to $8000 per month on a good or bad month.

GIRL: Cool…

That girl was so excited to meet me that she scared me off, and besides, she wasn’t my type. But, she was the only girl who wanted to date a Notary, at least, during my shift.

The next order of business is: where would you meet Notaries. You can meet Notaries at the NNA convention, but they might not live in your area. You can also meet Notaries by having them come to your house to notarize something. You can call all the Notaries in town and chat them up to see who is up to your standards. You could also go to the Notary bar where Notaries hang out. The county clerk is yet another place where you can meet Notaries doing their Oath. Just wait until they say, “I do” to support the constitution of the USA and then say, “Hey baby, wanna date?” Sounds cheap, but it works.

If you have an age range you normally date, keep that in mind, because most Notaries are 50-80, so if you want to date younger people you might be out of luck. Younger Notaries might work in a bank or insurance company, so don’t give up, just avoid the mobile notaries if you focus on younger Notaries. But, if you do want to date a younger Notary, people might say, “So, you like younger Notaries…” with a smirk on their face.

So, now you have some ideas on how to date a Notary. The next issue is where to take your Notary on your date. Do you go to Cafe Le Jurat, do you get certified angus beef burgers, or an embossed giant oreo cookie? That choice is yours.

One lady tried to pick up a Notary walking down the street near the Secretary of State’s office, but she couldn’t get the Notary to acknowledge her (sorry, bad pun.) He just walked right by her. Then she chased him and swore at him. He said that you swear under Oath and not with profanity.

So there you have it — a complete guide to picking up and dating Notaries. Let me know if you have any questions.

You might also like:

Notary Pick Up Lines
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9851

A bar only for cool notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22546

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August 5, 2019

Notary High School (80’s Style)

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:56 am

Back in the day, they used to teach notary classes in high school just in case some of the students would one day become Notaries. They taught it in the same room they taught typing incidentally which is interesting as both types of work are clerical in nature.

TEACHER: Now class, please turn to page forty. The duties of the Notary Public are to Acknowledge signatures, take Oaths, execute Jurats, and my psychic says that in the future there will be this thing called an Affirmation.

SAM (a 15 y/o student): Hey teacher, you’re a lot hotter than the last teacher we had. Taking your class is going to be a dream come true.

TEACHER: Thank you Sam for your vote of confidence. I truly am glad to know that I indeed am hot, at least in your eyes, and thank you for making your astute observation using correct grammar.

SAM: No problem teach! Any time!

TEACHER: Oh, let’s see. There appears to be a love note on my desk. Well, thank God this class isn’t like the last class. My students hated me.

BRUCE: You’re not going to have that problem here, baby… I mean… teach!

TEACHER: That’s Mrs. Bates to you, but once again, I appreciate your vote of confidence. Let’s see what the letter says. “My love for you has no bounds, I feel like howling like the hounds, my feelings towards you I wish not to belittle or smalledge, but to thee, my love, I sincerely wish to Acknowledge.” Wow! This is not poorly written at all. I would like to instill upon you the notion that I am married, and although your feelings are appreciated, they unfortunately cannot go anywhere.

SAM: Hey, may the better man win. Your husband must have something we don’t have.

TEACHER: Yes, its something called a job… and also maturity, but that’s a completely different matter. Now, moving right along. An Acknowledgment is a notary act where the signer acknowledges having signed a document. They make this formal declaration in the physical presence of the Notary.

CHRIS: Let’s get physical… physical. Is it kind of like that song. You know the Olivia Newton song?

TEACHER: Very much so, but with no dancing. Any questions?

SAM: Yeah… Do you like younger guys?

TEACHER: I like younger people just fine. However, I cannot entertain the idea of the type of relationship you are most likely thinking about.

BRUCE: Do you attest to that? And also… What are you doing after class?

TEACHER: Grading papers. How romantic. See you tomorrow.

(The next day)

TEACHER: Hello class. Many teachers might be cross with you or stern after getting an inappropriate love note.

SAM: What was inappropriate about it? I thought it was well written and didn’t contain any bad words. That’s as appropriate as we get over in this school.

TEACHER: Yes, I see what you mean. But, you see that it is not appropriate to make romantic suggestions to your teacher. It violates teacher-student ethics.

BRUCE: What are ethics? Do Guns and Roses use ethics.

TEACHER: Well, you see, some people think it is morally wrong for teachers and students to have romantic interludes, but if it weren’t wrong, I assure you, that some of you handsome young people here, might be in business. Oh my God, I can’t believe I said that. Father, forgive me. But, my husband found out about the note and guess how he feels?

CHRIS: Uh oh, do I need to change my name and move to a different town and assume a new identity so I don’t get killed or mamed?

TEACHER: Actually, he feels flattered, and he feels more sexy than I have ever seen him feel in his life. He is all excited that his wife is a hot chick that is in demand.

SAM: Woah, I’m glad we could make your family feel all good Ms. Bates. I totally dig that. But, what I want to know now is, “Where do we go, where do we go now, where do we go… sweet child of mine….”

TEACHER: Let me guess, these are lyrics to that new group Titanium… Oh, maybe they are called Platinum. Do they wear really tight pants, look like women from an asylum and scream when they sing?

BRUCE: No, you must be thinking of Motley Crew. This group is called Guns & Roses. The ironic thing is that they don’t own any guns. But, the lead guitar guy wears this really cool hats from the 1800’s which I totally respect because if there is one subject that I like more than biology, it’s history.

TEACHER: I’m glad to know you are learning something Bruce. Anyway, a Jurat is a notarization where you swear to the truthfulness of a document and sign it in the presence of a Notary.

SAM: Is that also a physical presence? Because I noticed that your verbiage was adulterated oh so slightly.

BRUCE: I like your choice of semantics there — adulterated. Someone might feel adulterated really soon because they are in some particular person’s physical presence.

TEACHER: I understand what you mean Bruce, but it doesn’t mean exactly that. You have to be more than in a physical presence to commit adultry.

CHRIS: Can children commit adultery, or only adults?

SAM: Yeah, wouldn’t it be childery if we committed it?

BRUCE: Hey wait a second, if a child committed adultery with an adult, wouldn’t that be childery as well as adultery, or would that depend on which party in the transaction you were a part of.

TEACHER: Children, this is a very interesting discussion. There is no such thing as childery, and for your information, adultery involves inappropriate sexual behavior between a married person and someone else who is not part of that holy union.

SAM: Holy union… I mean holy cow… By jove, I think I’ve got it now.

CHRIS: Well in any case compadres, we made teach’s husband feel like a complete stud. I say our mission was a success and we can all go home now… providing that we finished our written assignment writing a paragraph about each notary act.

TEACHER: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Glad we could learn about notary work as well as adultery all in one short class, not to mention making my husband feel better than he has felt in over a decade. But, I have to go soon as well.

SAM: Why, are you going to grade more papers?

TEACHER: No, I have an appointment at Victoria’s Secret. I haven’t been there in 15 years, but now there seems to be a reason to go — thanks to certain young people with inquisitive minds, and when I say inquisitive, you know what I mean!

BRUCE: Right, like in the Spanish inquisition — they were the most inquisitive people I ever read about in history.

TEACHER: That means something completely different. But, have a wonderful day boys! Ta ta!

You might also like:

Most Popular Notary Jokes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8471

Are you a bad boy notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22380

Notarize you like a hurricane
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22168

Notary Happy Days goes to China
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16536

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July 4, 2019

Notarization at a Subway

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 2:38 am

NOTARY: What a long drive. But, I’m here. Are you ready?

FRANK: I don’t normally work at this branch of Subway, I’m just “subbing”.

NOTARY: Oh, then can you grade my paper? It’s an Affidavit.

FRANK: There’s a spelling mistake in line two.

NOTARY: Really? And what about your Affidavit. Is it ready?

FRANK: It’s right here.

NOTARY: Would you like onions with your notarization, and would you like to make it a combo?

FRANK: Does it come with chips and a drink for another $2.25.

NOTARY: I actually have Fanta in the car. That helps me get better reviews. Being a Notary these days is not far from being an Uber driver except that we don’t have to vacuum our car as much… or ever.

FRANK: Got it. I’ll sign… Are you watching?

NOTARY: Watching. Your hands are clean right? No mayo or chipotle sauce on your fingers, right?

FRANK: Too late. Please affix your stamp there.

NOTARY: Please sign my journal first… Good… Now it’s time for recess.

FRANK: Recess?

NOTARY: You’re “subbing”, right?

FRANK: Oh, yeah… right.

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about notary restaurant themes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17442

The Starbucks Oath questions
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21001

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July 2, 2019

A millennial self-identifies as being a Notary Public.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 2:27 am

TEACHER: Now, class, as we all know, we are all little snowflakes now aren’t we?

CLASS: Yes teacher

TEACHER: And we don’t have to be responsible about anything in life because the world owes us a living. Anyone who criticizes us is bad because they might offend or hurt our feelings which is the worst thing of all. Now class, we must all be sensitive to how people identify. Let’s go around the class.

SHELLIE: I self-identify as being a male police man.

TODD: I just came back from a trip to India, and my nuts were sore from the car bouncing on the bumpy roads in the mountains. Such unbelievable pain. I bet you have had similar problems being a man, right?

SHELLIE: Excuse me?

TODD: You mean your nuts have never hurt?

SHELLIE: I don’t have those yet. I’m transitioning dummie.

FRANK: I self-identify with being a Notary Public.

TODD: Oh good, how much is it to get an Affidavit of copy of transcript notarized?

FRANK: What’s an Affidavit?

TODD: It is a document you notarize… That’s what Notaries do you know. Do you have a stamp and a Notary commission?

FRANK: I think we have to stand up to this type of harassment. My feelings are hurt!

TODD: Have you filed your Oath and Bond with the county clerk?

FRANK: What’s a bond?

SHIMON: I self-identify as being a sephardic cantor.

TODD: Can you sing me some lines from what you sing in shul?

SHIMON: Oh yeah… (sings very Moroccan sounding Hebrew prayers and sways from side to side.)

TODD: Just out of curiousity, did you start out as a Sephardic cantor, or did you transition into it?

SHIMON: I had to go to school to learn to become a cantor. You can’t “cant” unless you study.

TODD: Did you have to study to become Sephardic?

SHIMON: You kind of have to be born into that, but it’s complicated. To be of a tribe, your affiation is based on the father, but your religion based on the mother.

SHELLIE: What about your sexual identity — is that based on your mother’s lineage or your father’s?

SHIMON: I’ll have to think about that. Have a nice evening and Shalom!

You might also like:

Millennial Notaries and gender roles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

The ADD culture and marketing your notary listing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22309

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April 2, 2019

Many people who hire notaries don’t think about quality = dangerous

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:00 am

Many people who hire Notaries don’t know anything about the dangers of an uninformed Notary. A careless Notary can ruin appointments by not confirming properly. They can fill in notary forms wrong. They can omit Oaths, or get into other peril by not knowing how to handle situations.

123notary puts a lot of effort into breeding Notaries into being the best that they can be with Notary Public 101 on the blog. However, those that hire Notaries typically don’t know the difference. This is dangerous and can result in a lot of trouble. When you hire Notaries, trouble doesn’t come all at once. It might not come for a while. But, if the notary identifies someone incorrectly and that comes back to you, it could be catastrophic. If Notary doesn’t drop the package in a timely manner, that is also a potential huge problem.

Just because those hiring you don’t know the difference doesn’t mean that you should not care about being a good Notary. The danger of being a careless and sloppy notary is not only for the borrower and the client, but also for the Notary. You can get in all types of trouble. So play it safe and keep studying your notary law, how to handle situations and your documents. Your few hours of study will make you look a lot more professional for the rest of your career.

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April 1, 2019

Compilation of best posts by guest bloggers

Filed under: Guest Bloggers — admin @ 7:43 am

Here are our best posts by guest bloggers

WRITTEN IN CONJUNCTION WITH ANDY COWAN

Trump – Making American Notaries Great Again
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17023

Introducing the 2019 Notaries!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21147

A Notary goes Public on Shark Tank with Shazamdocs!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18943

Comedic Notary Pricing from Apo-steal-of-a-deal to Zilch (not getting paid)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18941

MY BIG PHAT GEEK WEDDING
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17053

Shark Tank – Notary Escrow Pal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16009

A Seinfeld Episode About a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

CARMEN’S POSTS

Attorney’s bullying Notaries – when does it end?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19383

SnapDocs, who is it and what is it?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19333

#1 Notary Error
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18956

Please answer your phones and check those emails
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21274

My stolen identity and the fraudulent notary seal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20753

Oath, what Oath?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19628

Lets stop undercutting each other
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19381

Please don’t quit your day job just yet
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19385

Million Dollar E&O?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19336

KEN EDELSTEIN

A job declined
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19979

Notary for a USA presidential candidate
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19148

Notary of the future
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18952

Get the special jobs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19106

Notary email tools
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19150

Now is the right time to become a signing agent
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21039

Are you practicing law by drawing a signature line?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21033

Do a half fast embossing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19981

The automatic repayment form
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19708

My reply to a vague incoming email
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19704

Ken’s list of things Notaries goof on
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19427

Which statement is a true statement?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19421

Notary also a witness
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19415

A call from a cop
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19410

Get off your butt
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19408

Initial notary contact check list
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19423

When you are in a hole – stop digging
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19340

My next notary visit is free
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19298

The Power of Attorney was rejected
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18954

When you really don’t wanna take the job
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18962

Unsubscribe
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19031

Power of Attorney Notary Processing Mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19031

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March 17, 2019

How do I find a German speaking Notary Public?

Filed under: Public Interest — Tags: — admin @ 9:57 am

Where can I find a Notary who speaks German?
Look no further. 123notary.com has a few German speaking Notaries on board. Just look up a Notary by zip code and then use the language filter at the top right of the site. You can enter in the name of any language such as German, Spanish, Japanese, Vietnamese, American Sign Language, or more! We used to have a Notary named German who spoke Spanish. In fact, we have German speaking Notaries in almost all states! Additionally, we have a search filter directly abovetto the right of the search results where you can enter the word German and find only German speaking Notary service providers.

How good is their German language proficiency?
On 123notary.com, we have many Notaries who speak German. The degree of fluency varies from Notary to Notary as some are conversational while others are native speakers. A handful are from German speaking families who grew up in America and might be excellent at conversation but not as proficient at business oriented communication. So, test your German speaking Notary out over the phone to make sure they are up to your standards before hiring them!

Notary German — Attorneys vs. Non-Attorneys
Please be advised that Notaries in the United States are seldom Attorneys and non-Attorney Notaries may not give legal advice. Most Notaries are also not authorized to draft legal documents. There are affordable legal support centers where they can help you draft documents. Please make sure that your document is completely drafted before contacting a Notary Public from 123notary.com.

Immigration Advice
Notaries cannot give advice about immigration matters unless they are specifically licensed to do so. For immigration questions, please contact the proper authorities.

Notarizing in German?
Notaries may Notarize a document that is in German, however the Notary wording would be in English for the notarization. Some states require the Notary to be able to understand the document. Other states require the Notary to be able to communicate directly with the borrower in any language they both can communicate with. Please learn the laws of your state and how they apply to notarizing foreign language documents. The actual Notary wording must be in English if it is to be notarized in any of the 50 states in the USA. Each state has their own official Acknowledgment and Jurat Notarial wording which the Notary is responsible for knowing. The Notary wording can be included at the end of the document. However, the Notary can also staple a loose certificate form to the document and affix their seal to that certificate after it has been completely filled out. Signers will be required to sign the Notary journal in states where Notary journals are used (which includes most states.)

Oaths in German?
Some Notary acts such as Jurats, Oaths, or other acts that include Oaths such as swearing in credible witnesses require the Notary to administer an Oath. An Oath for an English language document or German language document can be performed in the language of your choice. If the signer or affiant feels more comfortable in German and the Notary knows German, you can conduct your Oath in German.

How can I get a German language document notarized?
As stated above, some states require the Notary to understand the language of the document while others don’t. However, the language of the notarization itself would be in English. You can find a notary on 123notary who speaks German to assist you in this matter. Just visit our Advanced Search page and look up a German Speaking Notary by zip code!

You might also like:

Find a Notary — who provides 24 hour service on 123notary!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4635

Power of Attorney Notarizations
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=power-of-attorney

How do I get a foreign language document notarized?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18788

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March 6, 2019

How do you get something notarized if you don’t have ID?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:28 am

How to get something notarized if you don’t have ID?

Credible Witnesses
The answer is that it’s not so simple. Most states have rigid rules for who can be notarized and what type of identification is necessary. However, many states allow you to be notarized if two individuals called “credible witnesses” swear to your identity. They can generally be anyone who knows you. But, how can you know if you are in a state that allows credible witnesses? Ask a local notary and find out. The sad thing is that many of them do not know how to use credible witnesses to identify a signer. So, do your homework and find a Notary who is in the know, so to speak.

The Process of Obtaining an ID
In the long run all people should have an ID, and there is a typical way to get this. You need to get your birth certificate from the city you were born in — and hopefully you know where that is. From there, you can get a state ID card and then you can get a passport.

How it Used to Be
Many years ago, you could get a Jurat done (which is a notary act.) Jurats require a sworn Oath but did not used to require identification on the part of the signer. I believe that they do now in all states, but I could be wrong.

Typical ID’s that are acceptable for a notary would be:
State issued ID cards
Drivers licenses
Passports
Military ID cards
Green cards did not used to be acceptable in California but might be now and you can ask a local notary.
Credit cards with photos are NOT acceptable.
Social Security cards are also not acceptable.

As a general rule a government issued photo ID with a signature, serial number, physical description and expiration date would be acceptable.

.

You might also like:

Notary Public 101 – A Guide to Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19507

Identification for Prison Notarizations
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22139

Expired Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8294

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February 10, 2019

Proof of Execution

Filed under: Notary Acts & Certificates — Tags: , — admin @ 10:48 am

What is a Proof of execution? This is an unusual Notary act that few Notaries have ever done. Yet it is allowed in roughly 45 of the 50 states. A Proof of Execution is an act where a Principal signer signs a document in the presence of a Subscribing Witness. The Subscribing Witness then soon after swears under Oath before a Notary Public that the principal signer signed the document in their presence. This type of notary act is prohibited for Deeds and Powers of Attorney, but for less critical documents is allowed.

You might also like:

Proof of Execution and basic notary acts in Notary Public 101
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19500

Which Notary act does not require the personal appearance of the principal signer?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19668

Subscribing witnesses explained
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16707

Glossary Proof of Execution
http://www.123notary.com/glossary/?proof-of-execution

Glossary Power of Attorney
http://www.123notary.com/glossary/?power-of-attorney

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February 3, 2019

Credible Witness Notary — information & resources

Here are some links that explain the credible witness process in the Notary profession. Please keep in mind that each state has a different procedure and rules for credible witnesses and a few states don’t allow this practice at all. Please also keep in mind that a Credible Witness for Notary work is also called a Credible identifying witness as their function is to identify signers who lack proper identification.

California Credible Witness Information
There is a long list of things a California Credible Witness must swear to that go above and beyond the identity of the signer. The credible witness must also swear that the signer cannot easily obtain identification. Here are what the CW must swear to:

1. The individual appearing before the notary public as the signer of the document is the person named in the document;

2. The credible witness personally knows the signer;

3. The credible witness reasonably believes that the circumstances of the signer are such that it would be very difficult or impossible for the signer to obtain another form of identification;

4. The signer does not possess any of the identification documents authorized by law to establish the signer’s identity; and general information

5. The credible witness does not have a financial interest and is not named in the document signed.

Please note that the credible witness does not have to swear that the signer has a particular legal name. Shouldn’t that be the whole point of the Oath?

Please refer to page eight and nine of the 2018 California Notary Public Handbook for details.
http://notary.cdn.sos.ca.gov/forms/notary-handbook-2018.pdf

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Information & Resources

Credible witnesses from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=452

Glossary Entry — Credible Witness
http://www.123notary.com/glossary/?credible-witness

Which states allow credible witnesses?
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4047

Credible Witnesses — the process explained
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16695

NNA’s guide to credible witnesses
https://www.nationalnotary.org/notary-bulletin/blog/2015/10/notary-challenge-how-handle-credible-witness

NotaryClasses.com guide to credible witnesses
https://www.notaryclasses.com/tutorials/homestudy/56.aspx

Can a notary act as a witness?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21359

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Keywords:
Credible Witness Notary
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Credible witness acknowledgment
Credible witness affidavit for California
2 Credible Witnesses
Affidavit of identity by credible witness
CA credible witness requirements
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California credible witness Notary
California notary how to acknowledge two credible witnesses
California swearing in a witness
California Notary credible witness form
California Notary Oath of credible witness

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