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January 24, 2011

Trump — Making American Notaries Great Again

Trump – Making American Notaries Great Again

We’ve heard a lot about Trump wanting to make America great again. But can he make your notary practice great again if it isn’t already? Or have you hit the wall? Or does he have to build the wall and then make Mexico pay for it? He says America doesn’t win anymore. Are you winning? Thanks to NAFTA, Mexican notaries are allowed to enter the United States and perform work as notaries. But because they charge so little, the only way Americans could survive was to build a wall made of used notary seals.

THE DONALD: The notaries love me. And by the way, the notaries love me. I repeat myself a lot. And by the way, I repeat myself a lot.

NOTARY: I’m undecided about who to vote for. Why should I vote for you?

THE DONALD: Our leaders don’t know what they’re doing. I will make American notaries great again. I’m gonna bring notary jobs back to America. I will be the greatest notary jobs president God ever created.

NOTARY: Would you swear to that under oath?

THE DONALD: I will swear to Justice Roberts on a bible on January 20th. Until then, I’ll swear at my campaign rallies.

NOTARY: Well, you have been married three times. You know a lot about witnessing signatures on divorce papers.

THE DONALD: More than Hillary! She’s a disaster. She could have at least left Bill during MonicaGate, but no. She stuck by his side. Pathetic.

NOTARY: Why shouldn’t I vote for Ted Cruz?

THE DONALD: Lyin’ Ted? He wants to shred Iran’s nuclear deal on day one. Shredding signed documents takes away notary jobs. He’d be a disaster as president.

NOTARY: Wouldn’t you need to hire more notaries to witness the signatures on the deal that replaced it?

THE DONALD: Absolutely. And I’m fine with that.

NOTARY: Hold on. A minute ago you said you were against it.

THE DONALD: I’ve evolved. Which is more than I can say for Cro-Magnon Man Cruze. Have you seen his wife? Compared to mine, she looks like a Gargoyle.

NOTARY: Well, I’m still not convinced you’re good for notaries. What about Bernie?

THE DONALD: The Communist? The only time I “feel the bern” is when I pee. Elect him and all the notaries will be getting free health care.

NOTARY: What’s wrong with that?

THE DONALD: Living longer means fewer wills to witness. When I’m elected president, believe me, half the country will jump off buildings. And if they’re lucky, one of mine. You’ll be witnessing will signings till the cows come home. Speaking of which, did you see Lyin’ Ted’s wife?


You might also like:

The 2016 Notary Public Debate



  1. Hilarious.

    Comment by McF — August 31, 2016 @ 2:04 pm

  2. I am voting for Donald Trump. Hillary is a crook. I would be ashamed to vote for her as should every freethinking woman in the world. I fear for America with corrupt politicians like Hillary, Obama. And yeah I think Donald Trump will make America great again.

    Comment by Lorie — August 31, 2016 @ 2:34 pm

  3. Untrue race baiting.

    Racism – Race-baiting is typically associated with politics or public discourse, but it’s about inciting racial hatred and antagonism by using coded language or slurs.

    Comment by Katrina — August 31, 2016 @ 6:16 pm

  4. Silly narrative; great clickbait. I get it it.

    Comment by Jay Schankman — September 3, 2016 @ 1:31 pm

  5. The man is not running for President. He wants to be Imperator. If that’s the case Notaries should demand a promotion to Consul status. It makes about as much sense.

    Comment by James P. DeGroff — October 12, 2016 @ 9:50 pm

  6. We need someone who can’t be bought, we need someone to give us some kind of hope, we need to pray that whichever candidate wins can lead us in the right direction. What we have now is not working.

    Comment by Linda Marie Mercer — October 13, 2016 @ 7:07 pm

  7. Wow….this forum should be neutral. How do you think the Mexicans that are notaries are feeling right now? This should be removed.

    Comment by Joy Pendergraph — October 14, 2016 @ 4:01 pm

  8. I don’t care what any of the other people say. Live a little. I think this is hilarious. Good Job! Don’t forget Gary Johnson for President. Look him up.

    Comment by Patrick — October 15, 2016 @ 4:30 pm

  9. Today is a new day……yesterday is gone! We must all be willing to work together to bring out the best in each of us. NOTARIES have a real opportunity in the process of bringing hope, peace and prosperity to each client we are fortunate enough to come in contact. Not one us are ever the same person we were yesterday! Every day we live, work and breathe becomes who we become the rest of our lives. Each of us can be a beacon of hope and light in our daily contact with those we serve…whether it be the first contact on the phone or the final face at the signing table.
    God bless each and every notary who is dedicated to making someone else’s life a bit more bearable as we all strive to make our country the best it can be. We can do that if we serve with care and love every soul with whom we have contact. Our families, our country and co-workers all deserve the best we can give them. Prayer and a lot of hard consistent work will get us all to a better place with ourselves and our fellow Americans.

    Comment by Lee — November 14, 2016 @ 4:08 pm

  10. My wife and I are both Notaries and voted for Trump. Like Trump I have been married 3 times and have a Masters degree. I come from a Jewish background so you can forget the Nazi references. I am surprised you put down your comfort blanket and took your thumb out of your mouth long enough to right this. Donald Trump is going to be sworn in as the 45th president of the USA this Friday. Get over it. BTW if California is really interested in secession please let us know so we can help the effort. It will be a real shame to lose one third of the. nations welfare recipients. If the conservatives in this country reacted over Obama’s election like you do you and the rest of the useful idiots of this nation would be foaming at the mouths and screaming racist. This is a business site so please keep your puerile comments to yourself and keep it professional. You discredit your valuable service when you do not.

    Comment by Russell Rosen — January 16, 2017 @ 3:40 pm

  11. Newsflash — the ethnic Mexicans who are Notaries in the USA are almost always English speaking CITIZENS and will not be deported by my buddy Donald. worry not! All is fine!

    Comment by admin — March 22, 2019 @ 3:41 am

  12. Sadly, not the most respectful kind of post I’d expect from a notary or website representing notaries or citizens of the United States. Greatness begins at home with the individual, but especially notaries, and maintaining impartiality, respect, and integrity consistently in our words spoken, behaviors practiced, and duties assigned to us. I found this article lacked representation of our group as a whole and went way off course from the reason we all gather here….. to become great notaries and do our best for our great country! Just my two cents’ worth.

    Comment by Dana — May 6, 2019 @ 10:49 pm

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