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August 24, 2016

Trump — Making American Notaries Great Again

Trump – Making American Notaries Great Again

We’ve heard a lot about Trump wanting to make America great again. But can he make your notary practice great again if it isn’t already? Or have you hit the wall? Or does he have to build the wall and then make Mexico pay for it? He says America doesn’t win anymore. Are you winning? Thanks to NAFTA, Mexican notaries are allowed to enter the United States and perform work as notaries. But because they charge so little, the only way Americans could survive was to build a wall made of used notary seals.

THE DONALD: The notaries love me. And by the way, the notaries love me. I repeat myself a lot. And by the way, I repeat myself a lot.

NOTARY: I’m undecided about who to vote for. Why should I vote for you?

THE DONALD: Our leaders don’t know what they’re doing. I will make American notaries great again. I’m gonna bring notary jobs back to America. I will be the greatest notary jobs president God ever created.

NOTARY: Would you swear to that under oath?

THE DONALD: I will swear to Justice Roberts on a bible on January 20th. Until then, I’ll swear at my campaign rallies.

NOTARY: Well, you have been married three times. You know a lot about witnessing signatures on divorce papers.

THE DONALD: More than Hillary! She’s a disaster. She could have at least left Bill during MonicaGate, but no. She stuck by his side. Pathetic.

NOTARY: Why shouldn’t I vote for Ted Cruz?

THE DONALD: Lyin’ Ted? He wants to shred Iran’s nuclear deal on day one. Shredding signed documents takes away notary jobs. He’d be a disaster as president.

NOTARY: Wouldn’t you need to hire more notaries to witness the signatures on the deal that replaced it?

THE DONALD: Absolutely. And I’m fine with that.

NOTARY: Hold on. A minute ago you said you were against it.

THE DONALD: I’ve evolved. Which is more than I can say for Cro-Magnon Man Cruze. Have you seen his wife? Compared to mine, she looks like a Gargoyle.

NOTARY: Well, I’m still not convinced you’re good for notaries. What about Bernie?

THE DONALD: The Communist? The only time I “feel the bern” is when I pee. Elect him and all the notaries will be getting free health care.

NOTARY: What’s wrong with that?

THE DONALD: Living longer means fewer wills to witness. When I’m elected president, believe me, half the country will jump off buildings. And if they’re lucky, one of mine. You’ll be witnessing will signings till the cows come home. Speaking of which, did you see Lyin’ Ted’s wife?

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April 1, 2016

Barack’s Notary-Care — are you covered?

Notary Care

Hello, this is Barack from 123notary…

We have worked tirelessly to ensure Notary-care, a necessity, be available to all families across the nation. Additionally, there will be no fee for Notary-care. Families will be able to get the benefits at absolutely no cost after the bill has passed. Benefits will include free Notary education on the 123notary.com blog in the form of a 30 point test. Other benefits include discounts on higher level listings not to exceed 14% off for those who pay ten weeks early. Furthermore, I would like to remind everybody that there are no deductables. You get the full discount whether you are healthy or not, and whether or not you have a preexisting condition whereby you need to learn how to become a notary. And you won’t get sick of waiting for the website to work, because it already does! So, my fellow American Notaries. Please enjoy the benefits of Notary-care. If the Republicans have a better idea, I’m all ears. No Mr. Spock jokes. They already tease me about that.

Notary care isn’t a privilege. It’s a right. We have the right not to have documents screwed up. It may not be in the Bill of Rights. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be. Let’s not forget the most noble document our forefathers created and most assuredly did not screw up was the Constitution – something they had the foresight to know would evolve over the course of history. Maybe it’s time for the right to notary care to be etched within it. Or maybe not. Figured it was worth a shot.

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March 1, 2016

State of the Notary Industry Union Address

My fellow American Notaries,
We are living through an extraordinary moment in Notarial history. Technological and social change is reshaping the way we notarize, advertise, drive, and our place in the NotaryVerse. But, as Americans, we’ve been through big changes before in generations past.

Notary jobs no longer pay what they used to pay. American Notaries used to make an easy $125 per signing if they had experience. Now, Notaries are being offered less and less. Instead of weeding out the less qualified Notaries, this price gauging has weeded out the most qualified and desirable service providers in the industry. Despite the problems in the Notary industry, American Notaries are paid considerably more than their equivalents in China, France, India, and other countries where mobile Notaries (and rickshaws) are used. In fact, Notary wages in China are so low, that many Notaries there have to sell fake ID’s just to make ends meet.

The advent of Snapdocs, the Uber of the Notary industry has also contributed to the downward trend in Notary fees, but an upward trend in technology that facilitates the act of hiring and scheduling a Notary. Now with the click of a few buttons, a signing or title company can broadcast a message (commonly referred to as a cattle call) to dozens of Notaries and find one who will take the job.

I would like to take things a step forward and cut taxes for Notaries and their families. I believe that Notaries are working too hard already, and should be rewarded by paying a fair tax.

Additionally, I’ve called on congress to raise the minimum wage for newer Notaries to $63 per signing, plus 11.3 cents per page for eDocuments as well as a 75 cent per nautical mile minimum travel fee, plus a nationwide ban on fax-backs. If you look at what the average service provider in this industry makes — call him “Joe, the Notary,” it is well below what Notaries of your parents’ generation used to make and it just isn’t fair. Notaries work hard, and deserve a fair wage and deserve to not be micromanaged — unless they are brand new in the field or make mistakes.

I want to make admission to Notary college more affordable. Spotting fake ID’s from China 101 is a course every American Notary should take. If Notaries had this knowledge it would make America a better place and the world a better place (unless you work in a fake ID producing sweatshop in Shanghai.)

Unfortunately, as far as the quantity of jobs being offered in the 1st quarter of 2016, it is the worst I’ve seen. However, 123notary is getting roughly the same traffic it did at this time in 2015. The important thing here is for American Notaries to keep the faith and understand that every cycle has ups and downs. What is critical is to keep developing your skill sets, to keep developing your client base, and to buy a higher spot on 123notary!

For all challenges we face, the truth is that no country on Earth is better equipped to handle the future of Notary work than the United States. If we can deal with this temporary and acute shortage of Notary signings, there is nothing that American Notaries can’t do!

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You might also like:

The 2016 Notary Public Debate
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16006

Share
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