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August 31, 2012

The chicken & egg: Birth certificate problem solved

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:31 am

How to get a Birth Certificate with no Photo ID

I frequently get calls from people who need a document notarized because they have no ID. They are trying to get a copy of their birth certificate to rebuild a lost/stolen set of identification papers. But, the classic problem of needing ID to get ID comes into play. They want something notarized to apply for the key document – the certified copy of their birth certificate.

Of course I cannot comply with their request, as they lack “government issued photo ID”; my standard for notarization. However, I do provide them with the solution to their problem; if they can obtain a replacement for their lost credit card. Or, if they have some other credit card. For this to work the credit card must be in their birth certificate name.

Their salvation is the on line web service called Vitalcheck.com. They can order their birth certificate over the internet. But how is this possible? Surely they can’t just order one of the most secured instruments (at least in New York State), with just a credit card? Well, the answer is that they can – assuming they have “knowledge in their head”. Stick with me and I will explain how this is both secure and convenient.

Vitalcheck.com is a front end for ordering on line many government issued forms. They handle birth, death, marriage and divorce papers. And they do it securely – and all the applicant needs to have is a credit card with a name that is on the document. They also need that all important “knowledge in their head”. I have used the service myself and can explain how it works.

Vitalcheck.com has access to MANY “public records”. During my on line application I was presented with a series of questions (multiple choice) that an imposter would not be able to answer correctly. Briefly, I lived in Florida. One of the questions was “At which of the following addresses did you live”. Another was which of the following cars did you own. Similar questions about events in my past, all found in searches of public records assured them that I was indeed http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com. My birth certificate order was accepted based upon the information I was able to provide – unlikely for an identity thief to provide correctly.

You might also like:

Can a notary notarize a Birth Certificate?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2300

Must a thumbprint accompany a notarized document?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2289

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February 8, 2012

Can a notary notarize a birth certificate?

Can a notary notarize a copy of a birth certificate? 

Notaries are advised to stay away from notarizing copies of vital records including birth certificates, marriage certificates, and death certificates.  The state and/or county clerks are in charge of vital records.  Just politely decline when asked to notarize a signature on a birth certificate.  These types of vital records must be certified by the county clerk in the corresponding county.
 
No place to sign!
Additionally, there is no place for a signer to sign on a birth certificate, so how can you notarize a document without a signature?  Conceivably, you could draw up an Affidavit that claims that the copy is a true and complete copy of the original birth certificate.  The signer could sign that affidavit, and you could notarize the signature on the affidavit and give them a quick oath. But, this is not legal in many states in conjunction with a birth certificate.

 What should a notary do?
As a notary, you should know the name of the document that is to be notarized BEFORE you get in your car.  Imagine driving 45 minutes in traffic only to find out that you are going to be asked to notarize a birth certificate. Have fun getting your travel fee in that case when you tell the client, “no can do”. 
 
Fetal Death Certificates?
I never knew this existed until I read someone’s reply to a forum post about notarizing (or not notarizing) birth certificates.  I never knew there was such thing as a fetal death certificate.  How can you give a certificate to someone who has not yet been named?  Do souls have an SKU number?  Was the fetus mature enough to have been infused with a soul yet?  When you study spirituality, you start asking questions like this!  On a brighter note, the fetus will be reincarnated, and won’t suffer much according to a colleague who specializes in past life regression!
 
Refer them to an Attorney
When asked to do questionable or illegal acts, just refer your client to an Attorney so that they can get a professional answer.
 
 
You might also like:
 
Can I notarize a birth certificate – forum discussion http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3924

How to get something notarized that doesn’t have a signature
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4695

The chicken & egg: Birth Certificate problem solved
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3474

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November 10, 2019

The 2019 Democratic Notary Debates!

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:24 am

MODERATOR: Welcome to the first 2020 Democratic Notary Debate – a “perfect vision” of the future. On tonight’s stage are the top five candidates with the highest polls. We have former Vice President Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, and Pete Buttigieg debating with each other tonight. The first opening statement starts with Joe Biden.

JOE BIDEN: Well I want to thank our proud Notary Public for holding this debate. You know, I was talking to my good buddy Barrack the other day. Obama. The last great president, my good friend.

BERNIE SANDERS: Enough already, we know you know the guy.

JOE BIDEN: Everybody is angry these days. When I started out as a Notary we weren’t enemies. The only times we swore was when we were under Oath. I want to bring back that type of civility so we can get signings done.

BERNIE SANDERS: It is unfair that people should have to pay to be notarized. My idea of a stamping device is one that stamps out the millionaires and billionaires from breaking the backs of the 99% who deserve free notary signings. Additionally, I believe it should be free to become a Notary, and free training to know how to become a Notary, and while you’re at it — free chicken soup for everybody.

JOE BIDEN: I could use some of that soup, because you’re making me sick right now.

ELIZABETH WARREN: I’ve got a plan for that. We don’t need free chicken soup in this country. We need to impeach the chicken who’s in The White House who made up a bone spur excuse for getting out of serving his country. At the very least, the excuse could be notarized.

KAMALA HARRIS: When I was a prosecutor, I was putting away crooks left and right. The point being, I know a crook when I see one. This president is the opposite of a credible witness. There is nothing credible about any line that comes out of his mouth. I also believe that bad Notaries who don’t follow proper procedure should be prosecuted. The Notary Profession is a legal support profession, and letting it run haywire is not acceptable.

PETE BUTTIGIEG: As the youngest candidate here, I see a vision for the 2050’s when I’ll as old as the current occupant of The White House.

JOE BIDEN: Stop with the ageism you young whipper snapper.

BERNIE SANDERS: Joe, I hate to tell you, but the fact you used the word whipper snapper makes you sound older, older than me!

PETE BUTTIGIEG: I believe that Notaries should be allowed, or even required to use a rainbow colored Notary seal.

BERNIE SANDERS: Rainbow Shmainbow — when it comes to colors, believe me, I’m color blind. Did you hear that Kamala?

KAMALA HARRIS: You may be color blind, but I’m not color deaf — and yes I did hear that.

JOE BIDEN: Bernie, it sounds to me from that last remark that you are pandering to the black vote. I don’t think my half of my good buddy Barrack Obama would appreciate that — the black half.

BERNIE SANDERS: Well which half is black?

JOE BIDEN: His paternal lineage. His father is Kenyan, remember? Well of course, by being Barrack’s former vice president, I’m very well aware of that.

BERNIE SANDERS: Now, who’s pandering.

PETE BUTTIGIEG: Well, I’m the youngest one here and even I don’t have the energy for this.

ELIZABETH WARREN: I’ve got a plan for that. We’ll get a notarized copy of your birth certificate to see if you even are old enough to run for president.

BERNIE SANDERS: Vital records cannot be notarized, so you might have a problem with that. But, if they could I would make it free!

You might also like

Will the next election help the notary industry?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22267

Compilation of posts about notary and politics
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20357

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March 6, 2019

How do you get something notarized if you don’t have ID?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:28 am

How to get something notarized if you don’t have ID?

Credible Witnesses
The answer is that it’s not so simple. Most states have rigid rules for who can be notarized and what type of identification is necessary. However, many states allow you to be notarized if two individuals called “credible witnesses” swear to your identity. They can generally be anyone who knows you. But, how can you know if you are in a state that allows credible witnesses? Ask a local notary and find out. The sad thing is that many of them do not know how to use credible witnesses to identify a signer. So, do your homework and find a Notary who is in the know, so to speak.

The Process of Obtaining an ID
In the long run all people should have an ID, and there is a typical way to get this. You need to get your birth certificate from the city you were born in — and hopefully you know where that is. From there, you can get a state ID card and then you can get a passport.

How it Used to Be
Many years ago, you could get a Jurat done (which is a notary act.) Jurats require a sworn Oath but did not used to require identification on the part of the signer. I believe that they do now in all states, but I could be wrong.

Typical ID’s that are acceptable for a notary would be:
State issued ID cards
Drivers licenses
Passports
Military ID cards
Green cards did not used to be acceptable in California but might be now and you can ask a local notary.
Credit cards with photos are NOT acceptable.
Social Security cards are also not acceptable.

As a general rule a government issued photo ID with a signature, serial number, physical description and expiration date would be acceptable.

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You might also like:

Notary Public 101 – A Guide to Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19507

Identification for Prison Notarizations
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22139

Expired Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8294

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February 22, 2019

Apostille – General Information

What is an Apostille?
An Apostille can be a document or certificate that is attached to a document notarized by a notary public, that is going to be sent OVERSEAS to a country that is not NOT a member of the HAGUE Convention. Or it can be an original document such as a Birth Certificate or Marriage Certificate that contains the original seal from the state that it originated from. In either case, the document is going to be sent overseas to places such as Mexico, Spain, Argentina, or India.

Where do I get an Apostille?
Apostilles are usually obtainable from a State Notary Division or a Secretary of State’s Office. Due to budget cuts, Secretary of State Offices are not always nearby, so it can be labor intensive to get to them.

How do I get an Apostille?
You might consider contacting an experienced notary who has been through the Apostille process many times. There are many notaries who fit this description, but you need to know how to find them. Or, you could contact your state’s Secretary of State yourself, and drive to them, and go through this process (which is like pulling teeth) yourself.

Q. Can you recommend a few notaries who are experts in the Apostille Process?
A. Yes, see the 2011 version of this blog article for recommendations.

You might also like:

What is an Apostille?
http://www.internationalapostille.com/what-is-an-apostille/

Department of State — Apostille Requirements
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/travel-legal-considerations/internl-judicial-asst/authentications-and-apostilles/apostille-requirements.html

2011 version of — How do I get an Apostille or Authentication?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1793

Using the correct notary certificate for an Apostille
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19902

Certified copy of an Apostille?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14923

Basic Notary Vocabulary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19495

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January 15, 2019

Notary Etiquette 104 — Confirming the Signing & At the Signing

CONFIRMING THE SIGNING & AT THE SIGNING
Return to Table of Contents for – Notary Etiquette 104

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1. Call to confirm the signing.
First introduce yourself on the confirmation call. Then go over all pertinent points. Make sure the ID proves the name on the documents and that all the signers will be there. You should also verify that there is a clean table to sign on. You should go over how long the signing should take, if there is anything going back to the document custodian and if they have used morphine or Jack Daniels within several hours of the signing. Nothing beats a sober signer or a well-organized Notary Public.

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2. Introduce yourself at the door.
It is good to mention that you are Joe the signing agent and that it is your job to facilitate the signing. Mention that they can address all of your questions to you, but that you cannot answer specific questions about their loan, but only general questions about loan documents and Notary procedure.

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3. Small talk is good.
People like a friendly Notary who can talk about small talk. But, avoid any topics that could be controversial such as gender issues, sex, guns, and how born-again Christians should have a second birth certificate for when they were born the second time.

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4. Don’t discuss guns and religion.
Unless you are notarizing the Obamas, don’t bring up Joe the plumber, or religion. But, if you are notarizing the head of the NRA then you might reconsider guns. If you ask him to shoot you an email, don’t be surprised if he asks what you want him to shoot it with! Yee-haw!!!

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5. Don’t park in the driveway.
The driveway is for the residents to park in, not you. You are their humble servant who parks on the street (sorry).

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6. Call if you’re going to be late.
If you are going to be late, call and let them know ahead of time rather than keeping people hanging.

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7. Don’t rush the borrowers.
On the other hand, if you have another appointment to go to, let them know when you have to depart. If you are under a time crunch, you can discuss their right to rescind if applicable and remind them that they have borrower copies.

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8. No drinks on the table
Drinks can spill, so unless you want your Deed of Trust drenched, keep the drinks on a chair or a separate table — no exceptions.

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9. Know when to call the Lender.
If the borrower asks questions, you need to know in advance which questions you can answer and which questions to refer to the Lender. You should have the phone numbers for Title, the lender, and any other relevant party. You can answer questions about what information is where in the documents as well as Notary questions. You should not answer questions specific to their loan.

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10. Middle initials
If the signer doesn’t want to sign with their middle initial, politely tell them that they need to sign the way their name reads on title otherwise their loan might not fund.

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11. How long to wait for return calls
If you try to reach one of the contact people for the loan such as Title, Loan Officer, Lender, etc., and they do not answer, try to give them a reasonable amount of time to respond. Twenty minutes to an hour seems reasonable.

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12. Dress for success.
People get very put off if you do not dress like a business professional. Business casual or business formal is fine. Avoid jeans and definitely don’t wear flip flops, shorts, bathing suits, heavy makeup, short skirts, or night club apparel. Signers get in trouble all the time for not dressing for success.

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13. Don’t bring your kids.
Believe it or not, some Notaries will bring their family to the signing. This is very intrusive and rude. Either keep your family at home, or in the car, but don’t bring them to the signing.

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14. Don’t complain.
Don’t tell the customers how bad certain signing companies are or who didn’t pay you. Keep your personal business personal. It makes a terrible impression if you talk about this stuff.

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15. Don’t give opinions about the loan.
The worst thing a Notary can do is to give an opinion, especially a negative opinion about a loan. You can get fired, blacklisted or even sued because of this. Some borrowers might cancel their loan because you told them they were getting ripped off.

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16. Following instructions
If you were asked to sign in blue, then sign in blue. If you were asked to start at page four, just do it, don’t explain or make excuses, just follow instructions. If you are asked to fax back page 1 to 28, don’t complain, just do it.

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17. If you make a mistake
If you make a mistake as a Notary, you might have to go back out there and fix the mistake. So, don’t keep people waiting. Go back out there and clean up after yourself.

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18. The grace period
As a Notary, you might be asked to answer emails after a job is done. There might be a problem, error, or just an inquiry. If you don’t answer your email or phone because you are on vacation or just don’t feel like it, that can cause a big problem.

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March 24, 2018

Notary Marketing 102: Phone & Communication Etiquette

Filed under: Comprehensive Guides,Loan Signing 101 — admin @ 8:08 am

Return to Notary Marketing 102 Contents

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Part of marketing is the act of actively promoting yourself. But, a lot of marketing is about doing a good job and communicating well.

To get hired to do Notary work, you need not only to know what you are doing, but you need to communicate clearly as well. Here are some major issues with phone etiquette.

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DURING THE INITIAL CALL

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1. Introduce yourself
Introduce yourself properly by phone when you answer the initial call to hire you. “This is June of June’s Notary Service” is a lot better than, “Hullo?”

2. Answer questions the way they were asked.
If someone asks what your hours are, tell them your beginning and ending times. Don’t say it depends and don’t be vague. Give them a clear picture of your availability without making them ask again. If someone asks how many loans you have signed, don’t give them a summary of your professional background, just give them a quick number. If someone asks if you are still in business, don’t tell them you are eating dinner or on vacation, just tell them that you are still in business. Just answer the question.

3. No background noise
Screaming children, televisions, or people talking in the background sound unprofessional. You need to turn the TV off, go into the next room where there is no noise, and apologize if there is any noise. That is called being professional.

4. Don’t scramble information
Asking people to repeat endlessly is horrible. If your phone is horrible, get a new one rather than accusing the other person of breaking up. If someone asks if you can do a notary for two signers on three documents, don’t repeat it back to them as, “Okay, three signers on how many documents?” That is called scrambling information and sounds ignorant.

5. Don’t brag
Notary Signing Agents have the desire to overprove themselves. The secret is to make a good impression by being helpful and not shoving your credentials down someone’s throat. It also makes a good impression to ask a few relevant questions about the type of signing or document. Asking a few pertinent questions looks professional.

6. Act calm
Acting calm and helpful is a lot better than acting anxious and overly helpful or overly unhelpful. People get put off by desperate or unfriendly behavior.

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CONFIRMING THE SIGNING & AT THE SIGNING

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7. Call to confirm the signing
Go over all pertinent points. Make sure the ID proves the name on the documents and that all the signers will be there. You should also verify that there is a clean table to sign on. You should go over how long the signing should take, if there is anything going back to the document custodian and if they have used morphine or Jack Daniels within several hours of the signing. Nothing beats a sober signer or a well organized Notary Public.

8. Introduce yourself at the door
It is good to mention that you are Joe the signing agent and that it is your job to facilitate the signing. Mention that they can address all of your questions to you, but that you cannot answer specific questions about their loan, but only general questions about loan documents and Notary procedure.

9. Small talk is good
People like a friendly Notary who can talk about small talk. But, avoid any topics that could be controversial such as gender issues, sex, guns, and how born again Christians should have a second birth certificate for when they were born the second time.

10. Don’t discuss guns and religion
Unless you are notarizing the Obamas, don’t bring up Joe the plumber, or religion. But, if you are notarizing the head of the NRA then you might reconsider guns. If you ask him to shoot you an email, don’t be surprised if he asks what you want him to shoot it with! Yee-haw!!!

11. Don’t park in the driveway
The driveway is for the residents to park in, not you. You are their humble servant who parks on the street (sorry.)

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OTHER

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12. Dress for success. Business casual is great. People get complaints more for dressing poorly than for being a horrible Notary. So, go to Men’s Wearhouse first, and then buy that Notary course you were thinking of. And remember — it’s not what you know — it’s how you look! Notaries who show up in shorts and flip-flops get some serious complaints and even a bad review on their profile. In short, don’t dress like me.

13. Carry loose Acknowledgment, Jurat and other certificates in your Notary Carry All Bag that you purchased from the NNA. Carry a thumbprinter, wipes, and pens with you. Nothing is worse than a Notary that doesn’t have pens except one who wears flip-flops. Having good professional equipment makes you look like you know what you are doing even more than actually knowing what you are doing.

14. Arrive on time
Nothing is worse than a late notary other than one who wears flip-flops.

15. Follow up punctually
If you have to get the Fedex back, do so immediately. Do not wait to drop a package unless you are waiting for a call back. If you wait 90 minutes or more for a callback, consider that title needs their docs back and it might make sense to just drop it. That is a judgment call, so think carefully about it. If you get emails, answer them asap.

You have to be available after signings for up to the rescission date and sometimes later. If you become unreachable after the signing, you will get very serious complaints. The worst complaints we get about notaries are that they were rude, or unresponsive after they had completed work.

16. Don’t be rude
If someone is rude to you, don’t reciprocate. Your reputation is on the line. You can get penalized for being rude even if the other person deserves it. So, watch yourself!

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Please Also Read:

Best marketing resources for Notaries. This entry goes over active vs. passive marketing in detail
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16322

Notary etiquette from Athiest to Zombie
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13718

Long term marketing plans
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15793

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January 23, 2018

What’s your sign?

As a Notary, there are various aspects to our job. The most important according to Carmen is identifying people. But, most Notaries just look at the name, and photo, and if it is close enough, that is good enough. If the name is missing a middle initial on the ID that exists on the document that is bad news. But, most Notaries just say, “close enough.” If you say “close enough” too many times, you might end up in court on an identity fraud case which could end you up in court for weeks with no salary, and you might lose a lot of your regular customers as well.

So, how can Notaries make identifying people more reliable? Here are some quick points.

1. If the name don’t match, you must not attach.
Most Notaries say you can over sign but not undersign. This is a Lender preference not a law. If the ID says John Smith and the document says John W Smith you are taking your commission in your hands if you Notarize the signature.The Lender might not mind, but you might end up in court over this if fraud is involved and once in a blue moon it will be.

Most states make sure that middle initials are in ID’s, but not all people are from one of those states. There are out of state people, foreigners, and people who changed their names due to marriage or some other reason, not to mention people with name variations. People from Mexico culturally have two surnames on a regular basis.

So, you have to be prepared for this type of situation even though it only happens 1-6% of the time. If you are going to notarize anyway, what can you do?

(a) Ask the signer what sign he is while holding the ID. If the fake ID has a fake birthday the signer will not know his fake sign. He might be a Leo that is pretending to be an Aquarius. On the other hand, the fake ID might have a real birthday but a fake name.

(b) Get a thumbprint from the signer in your journal. That way the investigators can catch him after the fact if there is any funny business. Thumbprints also deter frauds as they often would prefer not to be notarized than risk being thumbprinted.

(c) Ask their height or birth date.

(d) Ask for a birth certificate if they have one. That doesn’t have a photo, but does have the DOB which is something you can use to cross-check information.

(e) If they have a Social Security card, that is not an acceptable ID, but the first three numbers are part of the zip code where they were born. You can cross check check the info by asking them where they were born.

(f) A gas bill is NOT generally an acceptable form of ID for notarization. However, if you want to verify a middle initial, it is better than nothing.

What you can’t do.
Do NOT accept a signature affidavit AKA statement as a form of identification. That is a document for the LENDER and the source of the information is unknown and not official. Sources for government ID’s are official which is why you can normally trust government issued photo ID’s.

Summary
You need to know your state laws on identifying signers. Many states do not require the name on the ID to exactly match the signature on the document or even for the complete name on the document to be provable based on the ID. Many states leave it up to your judgement. Just because you are following the law does not mean you won’t end up in court as a witness or conspirator to identity theft which is why you as a Notary must take as many precautions as possible.

If you are notarizing for a long term customer and want to take liberties to ensure that your business relationship does not end prematurely, then you might use the above techniques. If the customer means nothing to you, I would strongly consider JUST SAYING NO to any request that is at all questionable, especially those involving ID’s that have names shorter than that on the document.

But, the fastest way to verify if an ID is fake is simply to ask — what’s your sign?

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You might also like:

Credible Witnesses – the ins and outs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19634

Notary Public 101 – Identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19507

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February 17, 2017

Notaries in cars getting coffee

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 9:07 pm

What type of car would fit the personality of a Notary? There would have to be room for the Notary’s bag where they keep their seals, certificate pads, mace, and other tools of the trade. But, most cars have room for a tiny bag, don’t they? Next, the car would need a good GPS system since Notaries are notorious for having trouble finding the houses of new clients (which they do multiple times per day.) Finally, the car would need good fuel efficiency and be easy to park, because you never know where you’ll have to park.

Another critical point is that others would avoid having an accident with this car (or near this car) since the Notary would make such a good witness. And what better car to greet today’s guest in, none other than the world’s greatest ex-Notary — Jeremy.

NOTARY: Wow, what a great car! What’s the Power of Attorney on this thing? I hope it does well in reverse, because I do a lot of reverse mortgages. How many pages per gallon (or minute) can it print doing eDocuments? Does it have a plugin for electronic signatures?

SEINFELD: If you drive it as an electric vehicle, you won’t need Errors & Emissions insurance. What’s the deal with a digital signature? If it is anything like the digital exam the proctologist gave me last week, I just hope you have plenty of rubber of gloves in the glove compartment.

NOTARY: I’m going to call it the stamp compartment, so keep your filthy gloves out of it.

SEINFELD: You are the funniest Notary I know.

NOTARY: Is that why you have me on your show?

(In coffeeshop)

SEINFELD: I’d like eggs over easy.

NOTARY: And make sure they’re on time, otherwise I’m charging you waiting time.

SEINFELD: Well, she is a waitress, that’s what she does.

NOTARY: Yeah — she gets paid for waiting, but I need to get paid for waiting too, especially if I get a four minute egg that takes forty-five minutes to arrive.

SEINFELD: Yeah, and the eggs better have their ID ready when they arrive, because I don’t think the Notary will let me eat them if they don’t have identification.

WAITRESS: No problem, I’ll just send the eggs to the DMV in the meantime to get an ID. But, I can’t get one without a birth certificate which will be a problem since none of the eggs have been born yet.

SEINFELD: Well, can’t they get born, and then somehow be shoved back into their shell?

WAITRESS: They might not taste so good if you did that.

SEINFELD: What type of coffee would a Notary drink?

NOTARY: It doesn’t matter just as long as we know the expiration date of the beans.

WAITRESS: What type of document would you use to prove that a brand of coffee was decaffeinated?

NOTARY: A decaffidavit.

SEINFELD: That figures (and rolls his eyes.) So, what type of coffee do you guys drink?

WAITRESS: Some prefer Chock Full o’Notaries while some prefer Antigua Affidavit.

NOTARY: Okay, thanks a latte. If I order that, will I have to pay a “latte fee?”

WAITRESS: Not if you sign your tip on time.

SEINFELD: With all thie caffeine racing through my veins, this is the first time I’ve been awake with a Notary.

NOTARY: In case you say something funny, I’ll be sure to acknowledge that it was indeed a joke.

SEINFELD: What’s that? Sorry, I was nodding off there. I want to ask you something. When you were a little kid, and your little friends were dreaming of being spiderman or a cowboy, what made you dream of executing a document?

NOTARY: Right now I’m dreaming of executing a comic.

SEINFELD: You know what? That was actually funny? I’ll give that joke two thumbprints up! Look at that elderly couple. They must have been married for fifty years. They haven’t said a word to each other in twenty minutes. After twenty years of marriage they must run out of things to say.

NOTARY: Yeah, and they run of of things to Notarize too.

SEINFELD: Can’t you ever get your mind off of work?

NOTARY: Well I think I was thinking more about your work, since I was making a joke about Notarizing!

(walking outside)

SEINFELD: Look at that sign — it says Notary Public, and then another sign that says back in an hour. I wonder if that means back in an hour from now, or back in an hour from when the sign was hung.

NOTARY: Is the sign hung or hanged?

SEINFELD: A jury is hung, the guy they convicted is hanged, but when it comes to signs, I haven’t the foggiest.

NOTARY: Well, if the sign was convicted, then I know what the correct verbiage would be. Thank God you can’t hang a signature otherwise my whole career would be on the line.

SEINFELD: Sorry to leave you hanging, but we need to get back in the car.

NOTARY: This was actually fun.

SEINFELD: Fun is a very foreign experience for someone in your line of work.

NOTARY: But, I don’t think of it as work.

SEINFELD: (Nodding off) What’s that?

.

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September 29, 2016

Notary Aptitude Test 2

(1) Notary Stamp is to Notary Seal what Attest is to:
(a) A test and a verbal verification (b) swearing and stating (c) The 123notary signing agent online test and proof (d) Oath and affirmation.

(2) Document Date is to Signing Date what Match.com date is to:
(a) Ditching date (b) Marriage date (c) Engagement date (d) Backdate (e) No relation

(3) Backdating is to signing what _____________ is to lying about your age.
(a) Match.com profiles (b) rescission date (c) Notary Applications (if you’re under 18 or not a US citizen) (d) notarizing an acknowledgment an hour before your signing appointment.

(4) Name on Title is to Name on a Document as name on Birth Certificate is to:
(a) Name on your ID (b) Your street aliases (c) Death Certificate (d) Mother’s maiden name

(5) Jurat is to Oath, what Oath is to:
(a) Quaker Oaths (b) Oath written text (c) Swearing (d) Attest

(6) Original document is to wet ink signature as commission paperwork is to:
(a) Secretary of State’s seal (b) name of your state (c) Felony conviction (d) Commission impossible

(7) Venue is to State what State is to:
(a) Secretary of State (b) City (c) County (d) Zip code

(8) Witness is to bank robbery what Notary act is to:
(a) Acknowledgment (b) Jurat (c) Protest (d) Unmarked Bills

(9) Subpoena is to testify what credible witness is to:
(a) Busy-body (b) Bank Robber (c) Subscribing Witness (d) Identify

(10) Middle initial is to document what ___________ is to identification
(a) Name (b) Middle Name (c) Matching or longer (d) Name on Title

(11) Digital signature is to an eSigning what a/an ________________ is to the future of the Notary profession.
(a) eDocuments (b) Notary (c) eNotary (d) 123notary

(12) SnapDocs is to the Notary Profession what Walmart is to:
(a) eBay (b) Retail (c) Amazon (d) Life

ANSWERS:

1. Note to readers, seal has two meanings. It could mean a stamp, or a signature). Answer (a) is correct even though it is part joke and part true.

2. (e) is the correct answer as the document date is arbitrary and could be any date, and has no relation to the signing date although it is commonly the same date as the signing date by convention.

3. (a) Match.com profiles typically have women who lie about their age and roll back the years about five to ten years. But, do men also backdate their age?

4. The name on Title is your official name that the property is registered to which carries a certain amount of official merit to it and permenance just like the name on your birth certificate. However, people do change their names after the fact that could lead to different names on the document or ID. Correct answer is (a).

5. (c) Swearing is a part of the Oath just like an Oath is a part of the Jurat process.

6-12 Figure it out on your own! That was fun!

.

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