The waiting room at the gate was filled with Notaries. But, who would get called to board first?
JURATLANTIC: To get on the plane, you need to show your ID
NOTARY#1: Okay, here’s my ID. It’s current too. Like my signature?
Everyone boarded the plane, and now it was time for announcements.
JURATLANTIC: Please stow all embossers and Notary carry all bags in the overhead bins. Please stow all embossers in the overhead bins. Please watch the safety demonstration in front of you. Please put your seat in an upright position during take off. If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop down from above you. Just breath normally into it.
MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Let me show how to inflate your self-inflating notary seal. (Accidentally inflates inflatable woman) Whoops, wrong one!
FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: There are emergency exits to the sides of the plane, and to the rear of the aircraft.
If your name doesn’t match between the documents and the I.D., please use the rear emergency exit…right now!
CAPTAIN: Welcome aboard JurAtlantic flight to Newark, New Jersey.
During takeoff, feel free to do a takeoff on Notary work, signing companies, or Notary airlines. After we reach a suitable altitude, we will be having refreshments.
ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has turned off the no-notarizing sign. Please feel free to notarize throughout the cabin.
CAPTAIN: Lovely day for signatures. Look outside your windows, you’ll notice a huge crop circle shaped like a notary embosser. If you should experience turbulence while signing, be sure you don’t wind up getting pen marks on your leg. If you should experience turbulence between the husband and wife at a signing, simply attach your seatbelt and remain calm.
MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I once notarized at 30,000 feet. I’m an official member of the mile high notarization club now!
FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Now it is time for our mid-flight entertainment. Notarizing. For an additional $3.25, we can offer you a disposable Notary seal. To use your Notary seal, simply pick up the Notary seal like so. Take the document with your other hand, and press using moderate pressure — then release. Additionally, we will be serving refreshments now. We are serving Signa-Cola, the drink that makes you feel that you can sign anything. Just remove the protective seal from the container and enjoy. Also enjoy some Prepayment Peanuts too. For those who want to relax a bit, we have Piggy Back Cabernet. They had to get a double mortgage to keep the vinyard going, hence the name…
CAPTAIN: If you look to the right, you will see a very oddly shaped cloud. It looks almost identical to my doctor’s signature. No… wait.. I guess it changed its shape. Now it looks more like my signature! Talk about freaky! We will be landing soon. Please extinguish all notary materials. Please do not try to use your Notary seal during landing as we might experience turbulance and there might be some bumps during landing. Oh, look, a Notary seal from Chuck Smith slid into the cockpit. Hmm, must be from last landing. I guess the clean up crew didn’t get that. Am I still on the air? Ooops. Disregard!
FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Thank you for flying JurAtlantic. We have landed now. We hope you have a pleasant trip to wherever your final destination is and remember — all of the notarizations you did on the plane are void because they were not within your state of commission. Have a nice day — bu-bye, bu-bye… bu-bye….
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