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December 4, 2019

A notary tries to be a comedian at a comedy club

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 6:04 am

There was a Notary who thought he was funny. But, he ended up having a lot of trouble at the comedy club. Here is what happened:

NOTARY: Hi, I’m mingling.

GIRL: Oh, that’s nice. This is a good comedy club.

NOTARY: I know, that’s why I came.

GIRL: I love comedy, it’s funny!

NOTARY: (pause… laughs abruptly) It’s just funny how you say it. It’s so obvious, of course comedy is funny. But, just the way you said it is funny. That’s right. Comedy — is — funny!

GIRL: Well your set is coming up.

MANAGER: Listen Notary, did you come to do comedy, or are you just joking around?

NOTARY: No, I’m here to do my set.

MANAGER: Good because there is nothing I love more than consensual sets.

NOTARY: And I brought a helmet so it will be protected sets.

GIRL: I didn’t see that one coming! Ha ha.

(Notary gets on stage)

NOTARY: So, this is a great crowd. Yeah… So, are there any Notaries here?

HECKLER: I don’t think Notaries can afford the $6 for drinks on what they make. Especially if there are eDocuments involved.

NOTARY: Normally I don’t like hecklers but you kind of have a point. When they asked for my six dollars I asked them to bill me and do a few fax backs. The bartender just gave me a blank look.

HECKLER: A blank look is better than a blank check.

NOTARY: You’re telling me, but don’t get your signatures in a bunch. So, did you hear the one about the two signatures that got married? They got divorced a week later. The writing was on the wall. The divorce ended up in a huge tangle. (pause) I guess they were not doctor signatures. I hope they had a good Attorney because the paperwork must have been a nightmare.

HECKLER: They would have to put the signatures on the documents which would mean they would have to multiply.

NOTARY: Hey, are you trying to steal my show? Actually, your jokes are even better than mine — so this will work out well. You must have a good writer.

HECKLER: It’s the same dumb-ass who writes your lines numbskull.

NOTARY: Good point. Wait a second, that means the writer is calling himself a numbskull.

HECKLER: He means it facetiously I’m sure. Okay. There was an embosser who bossed around the employees. Who’s the em-boss now?

NOTARY: I think he only has power over the employees in an em-mergency.

HECKLER: Good one. You must be learning from me.

NOTARY: Good God, what a thought. Okay. Got one. What do Notary seals and squids have in common?

HECKLER: Ummm. They both have ink?

NOTARY: Besides the ink…

HECKLER: Besides the ink?

NOTARY: Just kidding… it’s the ink.

HECKLER: You got me on that one! What about octopuses who do signings?

NOTARY: Yeah, they can answer the phone, fill in their journal, stamp the document and kiss the borrower’s wife all simultaneously. It’s kind of like being one of those Hindu Gods with all of the hands.

GIRL: Yes, there is nothing like hands-on experience.

HECKLER: I think that would be tentacles-on experience. Hey, look at that guy with the purple circles on his neck. Does he have a really good girlfriend or was he attacked by an octopus… speaking of octopuses?

NOTARY: No, that is Chinese gua-sha suction cupping. People use it to reduce tension and clear up blood flow. There is nothing funny about that. Olympians use it too, at least they showed evidence of it recently.

GIRL: Are you sure that isn’t an AIDS symptom?

NOTARY: It looks like it, but the AIDS circle is normally on your back or forehead and is smaller and looks different. Plus the color goes away in a few days if it is cupping. I went to a signing with cup marks once. I told the boss I had marks and he said do the signing anyway. Then he fired me because the borrowers complained. What a hypocrite.

GIRL: Men. On Monday they say one thing and on Tuesday they say another.

HECKLER: Kind of like a woman’s love. They try to hook you into a marriage, but halfway into the engagement they change their mind.

GIRL: Think of all the legal fees you saved. Speaking of legal fees, hey Notary, do you know any Attorney jokes?

NOTARY: Why don’t sharks attack Attorney-Notaries?

HECKLER: Oh, I know that one. Professional courtesy.

GIRL: No, it is because the Attorney-Notaries are so busy doing signings in Georgia that they don’t have time to go swimming.

NOTARY: Another possibility…. Okay, now we have a two-drink minimum, so when the drink lady comes, give her a nice order and a good tip. Deal?

JOHN: Do they have drinks with squid ink in them so I can have an official Notary drink?

NOTARY: There is no such thing, but there is Peruvian Inka Cola — try that. We have it on tap.

GIRL: I tried the certified angus burger with an embossed flat bread bun. Very delicious. But, not as good as the wagyu burger I had at the Japanese place.

NOTARY: Okay crowd. Now, A Notary was to notarize a husband and wife…

HECKLER: Oh, I didn’t know you were into that.

NOTARY: But, the wife wasn’t there and had to sign on another day. What do you do with the acknowledgment?

GIRL: Something kinky I hope.

HECKLER: You ruined it. I thought you were going to have a threesome and dress the wife up as a French maid or something. I think you have to use one acknowledgment for the guy and another for the girl, but not fill out the girl… oh that sounds kinky.. until you see her when her husband is not around on another date. You have to put the date the husband signed on the husband’s acknowledgment and the date the wife signed on hers.

NOTARY: Yeah, we Notaries sure love filling things out.

GIRL: Do you fill people out too?

NOTARY: You have to pay extra for that!

HECKLER: Oh! Good come back. I’m impressed. You should try improv!

NOTARY: One thing I don’t like about the amateur nights is that each person only gets three minutes and you are not allowed to interact as that is considered heckling. Thank God we don’t have that inconvenience here.

HECKLER: Yeah, I’ll say. People think you pay me to be here and harass you.

GIRL: You’re actually a big help and not that rude considering. I wish I could say the same about my ex-husband.

NOTARY: There was a rumor that I was having an affair with Jennifer Lopez, and the rumor spread all around Twitter, but I only got three responses. 1. Right on. 2. Awesome and 3. You wish… The third comment was from my wife. Okay, this has been a great show. Thanks and remember — keep stamping.

MANAGER: Yes folks, if you liked the show, stamp your feet on the ground to show solidarity with oppressed Notaries who stamp and stamp all day – well they stamp documents, but you will just have to be happy stamping on the floor for now. Thanks and you have been a great crowd. Damn it… they just ran out of Inka Soda. Why does this always happen on my shift?

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September 1, 2019

How to effectively pick up Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:55 pm

Are you trying to pick me up?
Well I’m not putting you down!

If you want to date Notaries, you need to ask yourself a few pointed questions. First of all, why? Notaries are one of the most downtrodden professions in the world. Mostly they whine about not getting paid, yet do nothing to ensure that they do. Based on the fact that out of 7000 Notaries on 123notary, only about 100 or so have attained and kept our certification it seems that few have much knowledge or are concerned with proving their knowledge yet most make unsubstantiated claims to knowledge. Sounds very phony. Additionally, mobile Notaries have a tiring life on the road getting jerked around from job to job, having jobs cancelled and sometimes not getting paid. So, once again, why would you want to date a Notary.

ME: (back in the old days) Sign here please.

GIRL: Oh, I’m so excited to meet you. Do Notaries get paid well?

ME: Oh, about $3000 to $8000 per month on a good or bad month.

GIRL: Cool…

That girl was so excited to meet me that she scared me off, and besides, she wasn’t my type. But, she was the only girl who wanted to date a Notary, at least, during my shift.

The next order of business is: where would you meet Notaries. You can meet Notaries at the NNA convention, but they might not live in your area. You can also meet Notaries by having them come to your house to notarize something. You can call all the Notaries in town and chat them up to see who is up to your standards. You could also go to the Notary bar where Notaries hang out. The county clerk is yet another place where you can meet Notaries doing their Oath. Just wait until they say, “I do” to support the constitution of the USA and then say, “Hey baby, wanna date?” Sounds cheap, but it works.

If you have an age range you normally date, keep that in mind, because most Notaries are 50-80, so if you want to date younger people you might be out of luck. Younger Notaries might work in a bank or insurance company, so don’t give up, just avoid the mobile notaries if you focus on younger Notaries. But, if you do want to date a younger Notary, people might say, “So, you like younger Notaries…” with a smirk on their face.

So, now you have some ideas on how to date a Notary. The next issue is where to take your Notary on your date. Do you go to Cafe Le Jurat, do you get certified angus beef burgers, or an embossed giant oreo cookie? That choice is yours.

One lady tried to pick up a Notary walking down the street near the Secretary of State’s office, but she couldn’t get the Notary to acknowledge her (sorry, bad pun.) He just walked right by her. Then she chased him and swore at him. He said that you swear under Oath and not with profanity.

So there you have it — a complete guide to picking up and dating Notaries. Let me know if you have any questions.

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February 20, 2019

Notarizing Multi-Page Documents

Should a Notary notarize every page of a document? How can a Notary or signer safeguard themselves from someone swapping pages in a document after the notarization has taken place? You need answers! Here they are!

1. A Notary Public notarizes signatures on documents, not pages on documents. A particular page or pages might have notary certificates within a document. Or, a certificate could be stapled to the back of a document. Ideally that certificate should identify the corresponding document. If you have a ten page document, there will most likely only be one, and possibly two pages with notary wording.

2. A prudent Notary Public carries what is called an inkless embosser that leaves a raised seal impression. This is in ADDITION to having the legally required inked seal that is used with blank ink. The embosser can be used to emboss every single page in a notarized document. I did exactly that on everything I notarized even if there were 100 pages. I did this for safety reasons. I did not want people to get away with switching pages after the fact and dragging me into court as a result of someone else not liking the idea that a page was swapped.

3. If a signer swaps a page from a notarized document, and that page was embossed, they can still swap the page. However, it will not be legal, and it will be very obvious to the Notary Public if investigated that the new page was not part of the original notarization as the notary embosses all pages — if the notary indeed was the type of notary who embossed all pages — like me!

4. Some people initial all pages. Initialing is a type of precaution. But, initials can be forged easily, and it is sometimes not easy to tell if they were forged.

5. If a document had a page swapped, the staple and staple area in the pages might show evidence of tampering. The degree of evidence depends on how skillful the fraud was at swapping pages. Luckly in my career of 6000 Notary appointments I did not have this issue.

6. If you need to add a page to an already notarized document. What can you do? You have to notarize the entire document all over again. I had that happen. What a pain. The signer wasn’t happy. Sorry — just following the law!

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Penalties for misconduct, fraud and failure of duty
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How often do Notaries end up in court?
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May 2, 2018

Do a Half Fast Embossing

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 11:21 am

Do a Half Fast Embossing
I hope you did not read the title quickly. I accidently included the word “Fast” in my title, sorry. My suggestion is actually to do a half embossing. Sounds odd? What did you expect from me? Let me attempt to redeem what little remains of my reputation.

Ever notice some packages include an extra acknowledgement or perhaps a few. It’s probably not that they are planning something nefarious, just planning some illegal flexibility. They want to have those completed notarizations (on a separate sheet of paper) so they can be used on a document that they forgot to include. Or, equally likely, on a document that has to be redrawn, without the need for the “inconvenience” of an additional notary visit to their client.

Sometimes the provided acknowledgement form provides an area for filling in exactly what signature is being notarized. That is not a failsafe protection for the notary. The proceeding document can be swapped and resigned; with the “what this ack applies to” information being the same – just a part of a page in the middle of the mortgage needed to be changed. Thus, your acknowledgement is now following a signature you did not witness even though your carefully filled in description precisely matches the numbers on the replaced mortgage.

When the notary section is on a separate page it can be a challenge to definitively associate your notarization with the actual and specific signature being notarized. Some have used the time honored methodology of embossing the signature page of the document and the following ack at the same time. Generally this works poorly as most embossers are designed for a single page of about twenty pound stock paper. But, playing devil’s advocate (a familiar role for me) let’s assume you have been to the gym often and give that embosser a mighty squeeze. OK, now there is a clear impression on both pages. Problem solved? I think not.

When the newly signed mortgage is followed by your embossed ack it looks routinely normal. It’s not “usual” for the signature page to be embossed if it does not include a notary section. Nothing was gained by adding an embossing to the mortgage signature page. Nada. So, now that I have dwelled on the problem, let me offer a solution that works for me.

What follows is “a solution” not necessarily the best solution to mating a following ack page to the prior signed page. It’s simple, do a half embossing. First do the routine job, with your regular embossing on the notary page. Subsequently lay the mortgage signature page to the left and your notarization page to the right; both side by side flat on the table. Then emboss such that half of your seal is on the mortgage page and half on the ack page. Yes, the ack page already has both your stamp and embossing. Now you will be adding half of your embosser to each page.

Now, unless your acknowledgement is held alongside the prior page it will look quite odd, where is the other half? It already has your complete seal, why only half at the bottom? I’m not a lawyer but someday I might be a witness. If asked did you notarize this signature and the notary part has half my embosser and the mortgage does not have the other half…. Let’s face it; we get peanuts for our exposure to litigation. Anything we can do to strengthen our “shields” for the day when we are called to testify and defend our actions – is worth a small bit of extra effort.

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January 30, 2018

The one Notary who used an embosser was the one notary that…

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , , , — admin @ 11:06 am

A week ago was the first time I ever talked to a Notary who used a secondary embossed seal. Notaries are required to use an ink seal for notarizations. However, many states will allow for a secondary non-inked embosser seal that leaves a raised impression in the paper you notarize.

The raised impression cannot be photocopied.
The raised impression is not easy to forge
The raised impression can go on each page of every document you notarized.

The purpose of the embosser is to deter people who want to swap pages in a document after it has been notarized which is tampering and illegal. Some Notaries emboss several pages all together, while other Notaries emboss pages one by one. There is always a danger the document custodian could swap pages with another document you notarized so it might make sense to emboss a different part of the page each time you emboss. Not sure how to coordinate that. Would you emboss on the left of the page on Mondays or use a random way to figure out which part of the page to emboss.

The irony is that someone did swap a page on a Deed embossed by this Notary. One of the people in the transaction contacted an Attorney since the dollar amount on his copy was different. The Notary had to appear in court, however, since the swapped page was not embossed, the lack of embossing was another layer of evidence used to nail the culprit two or more times over.

The one Notary in the East Coast who uses an embosser to deter page swapping was the one Notary that page swapping happened to in my experience talking to tens of thousands of Notaries. How ironic. I never would have guessed. I guess the Notaries who aim to catch frauds are the ones who karmically do. Another Notary in California routinely catches identity thieves by handing over thumbprint to the FBI. I guess she is tuned in to catching really really bad guys too.

Maybe one day you will catch a bad guy, but it won’t happen unless you take precautions such as keeping a good journal with thumbprints, full names of documents, document dates, other info about the documents, use an embosser, and the list goes on.

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January 12, 2018

Notary Jail

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (very) — Tags: — admin @ 12:00 pm

WARDEN: Welcome to Notary Jail — Don’t drop the embosser!
It’s time for mug shots. Turn to the right and say “scilicit” — that’s a notary term. You would know that if you read your Notary handbook. And by the way, selling your notary seal on eBay, was it really worth it?

NOTARY: Hey, I got paid $800 for it. I was in a pinch and needed the money.

WARDEN: Well you won’t have to worry about being behind on rent here!

I think that I am the first person to come up with this concept. Notary jail. Where Notaries go when they’ve been bad. But, most Notaries have been bad, they just didn’t get caught because their secretary of state’s don’t bother to enforce a single law. What is the point of having laws if you don’t enforce them?

Oath Omissions
If you forget to administer an Oath you should be sent to Notary jail and get booked. The first thing they will do is thumbprint you in their journal. Then, they will ask you if you take journal thumbprints. If you say, “My state doesn’t require that.” Then they will put you in solitary confinement. After all, an innocent person could be scammed out of everything they own and the culprit could run free simply because you didn’t take a thumbprint.

ID-ing
If you didn’t ID someone correctly, then a cell in the insane ward would be in order. Since you let John Smith sign as John W Smith, you will also not mind being around five people who are sure that they are Abraham Lincoln.

Loose Certificates
And then there are the people who don’t fill in certificates properly or send loose certificates in the mail. Tisk tisk. The staff at Notary jail will goof on your jail paperwork if you do that and you’ll be in for a long time.

Jail Food?
Oh, and the food at Notary jail? Embossed flat bread sandwiches. You get that nice raised seal embossed pattern on every bite. Then they have a breakfast cereal called frosted mini-seals. Oh, and one more thing. They have soap shaped like a Notary seal. But, don’t drop the soap (or don’t drop the seal.)

Entertainment at Notary jail involves watching television documentaries on the notary profession and NNA how to materials. When they run out of sleeping pills, they have written Notary materials for you to study. The yard outside is shaped like a giant notary seal. You get an hour of outside time per day.

Notary Questions
And if they ask Notary questions in Notary jail, don’t talk back to the guards like you normally do to Jeremy. Just answer questions the way they were asked and you might get time off for good behavior.

Conclusion
In real life, the Notaries who end up in jail are those who committed fraud involving real property. Trying to steal someone’s property and put it in someone else’s name using your Notary commission is the worst crime you can commit.

Then there are the cases where fraud happens that is not the Notary’s fault. Perhaps if the Notary had been more careful filling out the certificates or journal entries it would be easier to prove what happened. But, in such cases, the notary ends up in court, not jail.

If you do end up in Notary jail, you might bump into a few of your Mortgage Broker clients. On the other hand, they have their own jail — Mortgage Jail.

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Can a Notary go to jail for Notary fraud?
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Putting jails and hospitals into your notes section
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Go to jail but DO collect $100
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Find a notary who goes to Twin Towers Jail and other Los Angeles Prisons
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October 17, 2017

Notary Public 101 — Certificates

Return to table of contents for Notary Public 101.

You might also like: 10 tight points on loose certificates.

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NOTARIAL CERTIFICATES

There are certificates for various types of Notary acts. Acknowledgments, Jurats, Proofs of Execution. Some states even have certificates for Oaths and Affirmations. Let’s focus on Acknowledgment Certificates for now.

There are various parts of an Acknowledgment form.

(1) The venue. The venue is normally on the upper part of a certificate. In California now there is some verbiage in a box that I am not trained in. But, above the boiler plate wording there is a venue which documents the county and state. Is a venue the county where you did a transaction or two lines of information in a form? Both! However, the documentation of the venue is the one in the certificate and it is informally called the venue and not the documentation of the venue.

(2) The date. The date is a field the Notary is often held responsible to fill in. The date falls into the area of the boiler-plate wording of the form which is standardized wording from your state or perhaps another state.

(3) The names of the signers. As a Notary, you need to input the names of the signers or affiants into the Notary certificate if required. Sometimes it doesn’t make it clear whose name goes in the form. If it says, “Subscribed and sworn to before me by,” then after the “by” put the name of the affiant or signer otherwise you will ruin the form.

(4) The name of the Notary. The name of the Notary once again is entered into the boiler-plate wording area.

(5) Pronouns, singulars and plurals. Each state has a different wording for Notary certificates for each act. However, it is common and typical to have some sort of Notary verbiage that includes he/she/they executed the instrument, his/her/their signature(s), or his/her/their authorized capacity(ies). The critical thing here is to cross out the incorrect words and leave the correct wording. If you do a notarization for John, then cross out the her and their and the (s) assuming John only signed once. If you do a signing for Bruce Jenner then use a special form called the T-acknowledgment which says he/she/it’s complicated/they

(6) Testimonium Clause. Where it says “witness my hand and official seal,” that is called the testimonium clause. Below the boiler plate wording is the signature area where you sign and then affix your notarial seal. And by the way, “Locus Sigilli” means the location of the seal.

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CHANGES TO CERTIFICATES

Making any change on a Notary certificate is messy in my opinion. You can consider crossing out and initialing wrong information. Remember that ONLY the Notary can initial or write on the certificate forms and the signer cannot touch it. However, it is cleaner to create a new certificate using an Acknowledgment that you get from a pad that you keep your Notary bag. That way you can start all over, fill the form out correctly and then staple it to the document in question.

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ADDING LOOSE CERTIFICATES

If you notarize a document that either does not have acceptable Notary wording or doesn’t have any Notary wording (or wrong information on the form) then you might want to add a loose certificate from your pad of certificates that you purchased from the NNA (recommended). Additionally, if there is no room for your seal in some pre-existing Notary verbiage, you might be forced to add a certificate for logistical reasons.

You might also like this blog article:
Sending loose certificates in the mail is generally illegal!

If you add a loose certificate, the certificate must be filled out thoroughly. This means that in addition to the legally required verbiage, you fill out the ADDITIONAL INFORMATION section. The additional information section includes:

Document name — if you don’t put the name of the document on your loose certificate, it might be unstapled and added to a wrong document by accident or on purposes.

Document date — if you don’t put the document date, your certificate might be added to a different document with the same name by accident or fraudulently.

Number of Pages — if you put nine pages, then it will be hard for a fraud to swap the certificate and put it on a similar document with eight pages.

Other Signers — You can name the other signers on the document.

Capacities — California no longer allows this, but you can mention if any of the signers are signing as Attorney in Fact or some other capacity.

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EMBOSSERS

Cautious Notaries often use an embosser when notarizing. You can use an inked seal and also a non-ink embosser that leaves a raised seal. If someone photo copies your certificates, the embossed impression will not show up in the photocopy. Additionally, you can emboss each page of a document to discourage page swapping.

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AUTHORITY

If there is a disagreement between a Title company involved in a transaction and a Notary regarding what venue or information goes in an Acknowledgment or Jurat certificate, the Notary has absolute authority. The Notary may ask for the Title company’s preference if there are two legal ways of doing something such as crossing out and initialing vs. adding on a loose certificate if there is an error. However, it is the Notary who is legally responsible for filling out the form and it is the Notary who will end up in court if there is a problem.

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WHO TO ASK FOR HELP WITH CERTIFICATES

If the Notary does not know what to do when filling in forms or notarizing, do NOT ask the Lender or Title companies as they have a beneficial interest in the transaction AND because they are not experts in the field. The tiel rep might be a Notary, but not necessarily in your state, and not necessarily an informed Notary. Title and Lenders will typically tell you whatever it takes to get the job done whether it is legal, recommendable, safe, or kosher, or not. They don’t care just as long as their loan goes through and YOU, the Notary are the one who gets locked up if you did something illegal just as long as it is your seal on the page.

If you need help with a Notary problem, consult your state’s Notary division as a first resource and the NNA hotline as your next resource. I would be very wary about trusting anyone else.

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October 15, 2017

Airline meals verses Notary Oaths & Affirmations

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , , , — admin @ 3:06 am

Have you ever wondered what airline meals have in common with Notarial Oaths? More than you think. In the old days airlines would only have one choice. The choice would normally have meat, and a few sides. Those were the good old days when women stayed at home and men supported them, and children had fathers. But, we solved the problem of children having fathers (so old fashioned and unnecessary.) Now, we are all the more wiser and realize that children do just fine without a live-in father and don’t need school prayer either. What a waste of time. Additionally, we have stopped reproducing for the most part which is another way to solve our sociological problems.

On the other hand, a preacher from Tennessee on television says, “If God goes out, then the Devil comes in… Since we have stopped prayer in school, there has been an upsurge in drugs, teen pregnancy, violence, and the list goes on…” But, I digress.

Now, you can get the regular airline meal, vegetarian, vegan, gluton free, high fiber, and about ten other choices. Singapore air even has some good Asian delicacies (yes please!) But, let’s get to the point of this article. It does have a point, right?

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AIRLINE MEALS

Let’s say that on Trans-Notarial Airlines you have two choices of a meal.

(1) THE REGULAR MEAL: which has a chunk of certified angus beef, two veggie sides and an embossed oreo plus a can of Affiant Cola. And then, there is

(2) THE VEGETARIAN OPTION which gives you the broccoli with tofu, their signature salad, corn, chocolate cake and a drink.

The problem is that the Notaries who ran Trans-Notarial Airlines thought they knew everything about notary food law, but didn’t. What the Notaries did was to offer vegetarians the regular meal, but remove the meat. The Notaries did not know that there was a vegetarian meal since they had not been trained.

Similarly, Notaries are unaware that most states have an OATH and an AFFIRMATION. The affirmation was created or invented as not to offend those who did not want to mention God or swearing. But, what Notaries often do is to administer an Oath, but remove the required Oath verbiage of “swear” and “God” as to please the politically correct and religious zealots instead thereby bastardizing an Oath rather than administering an Affirmation. The other mistake Notaries make is to only do Affirmations when legally they might (are likely to) be required to offer a CHOICE of acts.

MY RECOMMENDATIONS

Offer your clients a choice of an Affirmation or an Oath in a Jurat execution or if they want a purely oral sworn statement. It is their choice, so you have no place choosing for them. It is the same as offering a choice of the regular meal or the veggie meal rather than giving the regular meal without the meat. Where’s the beef? My opinion is that if you leave God out, the devil comes in. So, when you administer a sworn statement to me, don’t forget the God part. Without him/her, we wouldn’t even exist! And for New York Notaries, I recommend not doing Affirmations with the cab drivers because cabbies prefer to swear!

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You might also like:

Notary Public 101 – Oaths, Affirmations, Jurats & Acknowledgments
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19500

Should you give book wording for Oaths or improvise?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19660

Oaths – how Notaries completely screw them up
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19369

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Ken’s list of things Notaries goof (or might goof on.)

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Popular on Facebook (some) — admin @ 12:35 am

Most Notaries don’t make this type of mistake. Perhaps it is mostly very new Notaries or those who are just clueless. But, read this list and learn about what other Notaries do wrong and hope that you do not make the same mistake.

1. Wrong venue
2. Cut off commission end year on cheapskate notary stamp and missed filling it in
3. Unreadable notary stamp / covers preprinted text
4. Missed a sig line (in the middle of the page)
5. Allowed borrower copy (that they already had) to mix pages with live docs
6. Did not notice that some more pages printed (they were complex) and thought was working with complete set. But some still in printer output tray.
7. Email had 17 PDFs and did not keep track / printed one twice and another not at all
8. Accepted sloppy scan of airbill which would not scan at fedex/ups so arrived a day or 2 late.
9. Did not verify address with borrower, delay causes missed drop off time
10. Wrote name in notary section from anywhere other than looking at the ID / or did not change to match ID
11. Accepted photocopy of ID as ID
12. Shipped unprocessed borrower copy
13. Fed embossed end into fax first causing jam/ripped pages
14. Permitted distractions during signing – loud TV, noisey kids, dogs, etc
15. Worked in poorly lit area
16. Did not print & bring a borrower copy (just made a CD) thus cannot swap error pages
17. Opened “big mouth” and spoke about politics, religion, “smell in the air”, keep it to job at hand.
18. 2 jobs back to back, wrong docs with airbill (both jobs screwed)
19. Make commitment to complete that is impossible (not allow for traffic, distance) – job should go to closer notary.
20. Did not follow local notary law TO THE LETTER – allowing a fool to tell notary that it must meet notary standards where the property is located.
21. Idiot notary printed double sided, last page of Note shares first page of Mortgage.
22. Ran out of paper (oops no more legal) or toner – Really???
23. One name on work order, hubbie and wifie on docs – did not verify both would be available with proper ID
24. Did a “stamp and sign ONLY” without venue or notary wording or date. (when there is no notary section but it needs to be notarized)

You might also like:

Split PDF’s into letter & legal separate PDFs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8856

Redaction the legal eraser
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21058

Are you practicing law by drawing a signature line?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21033

Notary – what do you do?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21037

Bouncey Bouncey Paypal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21046

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October 11, 2017

Have you ever met a friend by notarizing?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 12:50 am

I remember that the only friend I made as a Notary was made as an introduction. I went to a party and met a lady named Mona. I liked her, but she only liked me a little bit. She used me for favors, rides, etc. When you’re desperate you hang out with this type of chick. In any case, she introduced me to her colleague Ravi who was an accountant. He was pretty cool, so we started hanging out. He liked wine and good food, so we made it a regular thing until he moved to the East Coast.

But, my other Notary assignments were for boring people getting loans. Why is the world such a boring place. In fact, I remember very few people that I notarized. I remember Gary who was in jail for blowing up his apartment with explosives. I notarized his jurors too which was a huge coincidence. I remember Jeffrey the Chinese Attorney who loved the fact that I embossed everything. I remember my Korean contact who bought and sold massage places. She had me notarize an acupuncturist called Dr. Kwack. Of all the names a doctor could be named, the doctor was a quack!

I remember doing a Military Oath for a military guy, and an over the phone Oath to swear a Filipina lady into court in the Florida Panhandle. I got to talk to the judge — how exciting. And she cooked for me. Then there was a notarization for a large Chinese family. Yes, I got fed on that one too. Then, a notarization on the trunk of my car notarizing for the brotha’s who told me all about the names black people had. Oooh they got names!

Everything else is a blur. I don’t remember much. It was so long ago. I remember a few of my favorite signing companies.

But, if I could go back into time and change a few things, I would have tried to understand the process a little better and take more notes. I was not as disciplined back then as I am now about keeping written records.

What about you?

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