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December 15, 2019

Juratsic Park – Notary Version

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:05 pm

Back in 1990, an attempt was made to create a park to create bigger and better Notaries. But, the results were disastrous. Scientists discovered the genes of some giant human beings who had lived thousands of years ago. Some had dual rows of teeth. But, were these creatures really human, or were they semi-humans from outer space who settled here? The scientists found out how to recreate these creatures, and identified the genes that make them bigger as well. After a few years, a camp of several dozen huge people was born.

The people were given training to be Notaries, and huge Notary seals were made to suit their stature. They were given Notary commissions by their respective states and then let loose. That is when the problems
began. Thor did a signing for a particular signing company. He didn’t get paid. So, he went to the signing company to demand payment. He drove 1000 miles to Orange County, CA. He did not fit in the tiny door as he was 15′ tall, so he did some structural damage to the building, barged in and then held the signing company boss by his neck — Darth Vader style.

THOR: Give me the check. It must go to its real owner.

BOSS: But, we are behind in collecting from our customers.

THOR: That’s your problem, punk!

KELLY: Like, excuse me? Did you just call him a punk?

THOR: Stay out of this (he says to Kelly). Search your feelings, Sam. You know where the check is. Hand it over. Give in to your desire to fulfill obligations.

BOSS: The force is strong within you Thor. Wait a second, is this Star Wars or Juratsic Park?

THOR: Um, perhaps a little of both, it’s just the way I’m holding you by the throat is identical to a scene in Star Wars.

BOSS: Got it. Kelly, please call the storm troopers, I mean the police.

KELLY: Right away sir.

POLICE: (arrives shortly) Put your hands in the air sir.

THOR: Okay.. (does some ceiling damage because he is so tall.)

POLICE: Oh shoot, wrong choice of words, I can’t see anything because of all the dust from the ceiling damage. Hey, he’s getting away!

THOR: See you, cause I’d never want to be you.

POLICE: Too late. He got away. And we didn’t even get a good look at him. All we know is that he is tall. Why was he mad at you?

BOSS: Because we didn’t pay him for the signing he did three months ago.

POLICE: Oh, so you’re the bad guy. Would it kill you to pay people, because our department is already overbooked and we really don’t have time for this type of unnecessary nonsense.

BOSS: But, we haven’t been paid yet either.

POLICE: Then set some terms for when people should pay you, and don’t do business with people who take to long or fine them.

KELLY: We’ll look into that.

(meanwhile in Kansas)

SAMPSON: I’m here for my Notary signing.

BORROWER: I’m not sure this is going to work. The Notary seal is as big as a loan document.

SAMPSON: No problem, we’ll just use this Juratsic sized Jurat which has room for my giant seal.

BORROWER: Oh cool, let me take a photo of that and post it on Instagram.

SAMPSON: Can you get me in the photo too?

BORROWER: We’ll try. Do you think you could shrink?

SAMPSON: My genes have not exactly been designed for shrinking, sorry.

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The Notary of the Future
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New apps for the iPhone 7 you’ve never heard of
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10977

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December 7, 2019

Social Media Site for Notaries – JuratBook

Filed under: Social Media — admin @ 7:39 am

Welcome to JuratBook, a social media site for Notaries. Notaries typically use this to complain about slow paying signing companies, and boast about how good their 123notary listing is doing.

With JuratBook, you can post an unlimited amount of special notary emoji’s on your posts. The surprised emoji would be if you got paid on time. The sad emoji would be if there were too many fax backs. A heart emoji would be because you love Jeremy and Carmen. A thumbs up (or thumb prints up) would be if you either liked a particular signing company, or if you thumb printed someone.

You can take selfies of you and your customers and post them. You can talk about what you do when you are not notarizing.

The problem with JuratBook is that it makes people more competitive about how popular they are. It makes you think your life isn’t as full as all these other people with lots of postings who celebrate life every day.

Unlike Facebook, you can use hateful speech on JuratBook. It has to be allowed, because Notaries are so frustrated by not getting paid on time. JuratBook believes in freedom of speech.

The algorithm used for JuratBook helps promote posts more about the social aspects of being a Notary rather than dull work related posts.

What constitutes JuratBook friendship? Do you have to notarize each other? Or have each other’s thumb print? The rules keep changing as the owner Sam Zuckerberg — Mark’s lesser known and less successful brother.

JuratBook — your social media venue!

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Affiant – a social media site for notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Yes, it’s the Notary dating show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15312

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December 6, 2018

Jurat – Definition

A Jurat is a Notary act where the signer or affiant must sign and swear (or affirm), both in the presence of the Notary Public. The signer gets to choose whether they wish to swear under God under Oath or affirm on their honor — both acts are done under the penalty of perjury.

Jurats are the second most common Notary act next to Acknowledgments.

There is no prescribed Oath verbiage, however, the word swear should be used, and there should be a reference to the truthfulness of the document. The Notary could have the affiant raise their right hand and ask, “Do you solemnly swear under God and under the penalty of perjury that this document is true and correct to the best of your knowledge?”

A Jurat also requires a Jurat certificate. And the certificate must confirm to state specific rules and have state specific verbiage. Verbiage differs from state to state, but the language, “Subscribed and sworn to before me by (name) on (date)” is common.

Related Links

Jurat wording step by step
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7875

What is a Jurat?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6937

Notary verbiage for Jurats
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2088

Notary Public Information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20075

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Do you need a thumbprint on a jurat?
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October 17, 2013

Jurat Wording Step by Step

Jurat Wording

Wording for Jurat Notarizations can vary from state to state. The main thing to understand in Jurat wording is that it must state that the signer appeared before the notary, signed the document before the notary, and swore under oath before the notary.

Additionally, Jurat wording or Jurat verbiage will indicate the date of the notarial act or transaction as well as a venue which constitutes the state and county where the notarial act took place!

You can typically use out of state Jurat verbiage so long as the wording is not substantially different from the Jurat wording in your state. Check with your state’s notary law handbook to verify this point.

A Jurat form could have room for a hand written statement which the signer swears to under Oath. Or, you can attach a Jurat certificate to a document which is being notarized and stamp the certificate instead of the actual document.

Signers are typically asked to raise their right hand and swear under oath during a Jurat notarization. The notary will ask an Oath question using his/her/its own choice of wording. The signer is asked to give a clear oral affirmation to that question. Most Notaries are not well practiced in the art of administering Oaths and it is recommended that they practice giving Oaths before going out in the real world notarizing for people.

Jurats are the 2nd most common type of Notary act, Acknowledgments being the 1st most common.

You might also like:

Jurat definition and a string of other Jurat related posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?s=jurat

Notarizing Children
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6947

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August 21, 2013

What is a Jurat?

Many people do not fully understand what a Jurat is. The term Jurat is loosely (and incorrectly) used to describe any notarial form. “Just mail me a Jurat” is a common request (that happens to be illegal). Never mail loose certificates. A Jurat is one of many types of notarial acts. Common notary acts include: Acknowledgments, Jurats, Oaths, Affirmations, Protests, and some states allow witnessing, safety box opening, Proofs of Execution and other notary acts. Notary acts and laws differ from state to state.

A Jurat is a Notary Act that typically requires the signer to be identified, although laws in the past in many states did not require the signer to be identified (believe it or not).

The distinguishing characteristic of a Jurat is that it has an accompanying Oath — AND the signer must sign the document before the Notary Public. An Acknowledged signature may be signed hours, days or years before it is notarized! The wording for the Oath is up to the notary. Unfortunately, many notaries are not very good at administering Oaths and some skip the procedure altogether (which is illegal).

You can attach Jurat wording to a document. Or, just write a quick statement that you intend to swear to on a Jurat form. But, if you need an Acknowledgment certificate, don’t ask for “A Jurat”. It is not the same thing legally. Also, please note that the notary is legally forbidden from deciding what type of notarization you need. So, if your Attorney or document custodian doesn’t tell you what type of notarization you need, please ask them before the notary shows up! Good luck!

Tweets:
(1) The term Jurat is loosely (and incorrectly) used to describe any notarial form.
(2) “Just mail me a Jurat,” is a common, but illegal request!
(3) A #Jurat is a notary act requiring the signer 2sign before the notary, swear & be identified.

You might also like:

Basic Notary Acts – Notary Public 101
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19500

Jurat Definition
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21342

Jurat wording step by step
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7875

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January 23, 2011

California Acknowledgment and Jurat Information

To see current 2011 & 2012 California Acknowledgment wording  information and California Jurat verbiage  information, just visit:
http://www.123notary.com/California/acknowledgment_jurat.asp

California Acknowledgments & California Jurats

Notary laws are often based on antiquated social customs and laws.  Many notary laws in Louisiana are based on the old Spanish and French laws which make it extremely different from the rest of the United States.  Louisiana is sort of a foreign country controlled by our government.  The language is English, but the laws are not.  California notary law used to have some old rules too for identifying a signer
 
In olden times, people lived in smaller communities, traveled less, and had less access to the outside world.  In those days you knew your neighbors and knew them well.  California notary laws and laws in many states allowed a notary to use personal knowledge of an individual as a way to identify them for a notarization.  But, in 2011 with people flying all around, and nobody really knowing anyone, you can not really use personal knowledge as an identifying technique anymore.  People don’t even know their wives and children that well these days! After 9/11, the laws changed in many states.  It took a few years for the state governments to react, but standards for identification were raised.  You can still identify signers using credible witnesses which I feel is false identification. The credible witnesses don’t really usually know the signer that well, and have to be reminded of the signer’s name in many cases.  The most common form of identification is a driver’s license, state ID card, or password. 
 
In any case, California notary laws for identifying a signer for an acknowledged signature are tougher now that personal knowledge is not allowed.  But, signers also need to be identified for Jurats which never used to be the case.  In the last few years, the California notary wording or California notary Verbiage for Acknowledgment and Jurat forms has changed a little bit as well.
 
Oaths and Affirmations in California have now become a merged act.  You just choose whether you want it to be an affirmation or oath in the paperwork. 
 
 
You might also like: 

Notary Public 101 – basic notary acts including Acknowledgments
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19500

Notary Acknowledgment Information
 
Can a California notary be a witness?

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January 19, 2011

2013 Notary Wording for Jurats and Acknowledgments

2012 & 2013 Notary Jurat Wording / 2012 & 2013 Notary Acknowledgment Wording
 
Notary verbiage and notary wording for Jurat and Acknowledgment certificates is different across state boundaries and also changes over time.  If you want to see current 2013 notary verbiage for notary certificates, we have information for various states.
 
Information about Notary verbiage for:
Arizona, California, Florida, Illinois, Michigan, New York, Ohio, and Texas  We will have information for more states in the future.
 
Please check your state’s notary division’s website for more information about notary verbiage on certificates if your state wasn’t mentioned on our list.

In the future, we might have Acknowledgment and Jurat information for:

Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, DC, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

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Notary Certificates, Notary Wording & Notary Verbiage
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Make your own notary certificate forms
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December 9, 2019

Notary TV Network

Filed under: Comprehensive Guides,Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:30 am

Welcome to NTVN — the network for Notaries.

We have notary comedy, notary drama, notary classes, tutorials,
stories and more. I know, sounds a bit like the 123notary notary blog,
but this is television. Below is our broadcasting schedule:

8am: Affidavits done your way with host Randy David

9am: Notary housewives gone wild

10am: General Notary Hospital

11am: Notary acts explained — we go over Acknowledgments, Jurats,
Oaths and Affirmations. Raise your right hand!

12pm: Notaries without underwear

1pm: How to confirm a signing without missing any bases

2pm: How to spin your embosser with spinning with the stars

3pm: How Jeremy started his signing business and other Notary stories

4pm: Dealing with issues regarding FedEx and shipping.

5pm: Social media tips for Notaries

6pm: Notarios sin barreras

7pm: Dealing with Chinese characters in signatures

8pm: The Notary Bar – a sitcom about Notaries where everyone knows your name.

9pm: Sponsored programming.

You might also like:

Notary Ed – similar to driver ed
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19132

Affiant – a new social media site for notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

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December 6, 2019

1st Notary in Space

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:04 am

In honor of the anniversary of the 50th moon landing. NASA finally decided to send a Notary into space. They decided that Notaries had been underrepresented in space travel for too long, and something needed to change. However, the Notaries had conditions. Underneath where the American flag is on the shuttle, they wanted a flag of a fictional Notary country that they were going to set up in outer space.

The space ship was set to go to the moon in honor of Apollo 11 and Neil Armstrong. The passengers on the spaceship included three professional astronauts, one of which was a lesbian transgender black lactose intolerant Puerto Rican woman, and two white males, and a Notary. But, the flight had to be delayed because the lady was transitioning into being Cuban, or at least self-identifying as being Cuban, but not Mark Cuban, although she was living as a man (whatever
that means.) When asked if she wanted a Cuban cigar she said, “Sorry, I don’t self-identify as a communist.” Then she was asked, “Does living as a man mean that you will support a wife and kids?” to which she/he replied, “No, it means I’ll be leaving them!”

Then there was another issue, because the Notary wanted to bring his embosser, seal, journal and acknowledgment / jurat pads just in case he could notarize moon creatures on the dark side of the moon. He also studied up on his Chinese since he heard there were Chinese people landing there regularly that U.S. news suppressed for unknown reasons. The scientists controlling the flight complained that all of the Notary equipment was weighing down the craft and would cost another three million in fuel costs. But, the government decided it would be worth it so that moon creatures could sign the Notary journal.

So, finally the spacecraft took off. It took longer than expected because they were listening to Frank Sinatra’s song “Fly me to the moon.” A few days later they landed. The Notary complained that he had jet lag. The crew said, “You’re crazy, it’s not called jet lag, it’s called rocket lag, dummy!” The crew was expecting to see Sun Myung Moon but was disappointed to learn that he was Korean, and not Chinese, and therefore would probably not be on the moon despite his name.

NOTARY: If I pull down my pants here, and stick my rear end towards you, would that be mooning you or earthing you considering our location?

CREW: We’ll have to call Houston to resolve that issue. And in that case, Houston will agree that there is a problem.

HOUSTON: Yes, Notary, the correct terminology at your coordinates would indeed be earthing someone.

CREW: What on earth?

HOUSTON: Reminder — you are NOT on earth, and if you pull your pants down, you will lose the oxygen in your suit and die, so please refrain from earthing anyone.

NOTARY: I just want to jump for joy, but I’m afraid I might end up thirty feet in the air. Did the Chinese bring moon cakes here?

CHUNG: Welcome to the dark side of the moon, would you like to try a moon cake?

NOTARY: Actually, I’d prefer an earth cake.

CHUNG: Is that for here or to go?

NOTARY: We could either eat it here or in the ship. Does that come with a fortune cookie?

CHUNG: Yeah. The fortune is that you will weigh 17% of what you normally weigh.

CREW: Hey, the sum of the parts of crater than the sum of the hole.

NOTARY: Hmm, but what if you have a crater within a crater?

CHUNG: You mean like at crater and barrel?

NOTARY: And if you have sex on the moon, you would be getting your moon rocks off.

CHUNG: We are prudes and don’t do that here. Besides, we don’t have oxygen to waste on unnecessary things.

NOTARY: Well anyway — That’s one small stamp for a Notary; One huge stamp for mankind.

CREW: Well said. Now let’s take photos and post them on Instagram. Can you do a selfie with me? What’s that thing behind me?

CHUNG: Oh, he’s an underground moon creature. He won’t hurt you. But, he might want part of the fortune cookie!

You might also like:

In space – nobody can hear you sign
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18920

A Notary sees a UFO
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19929

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November 15, 2019

10 ways to die as a Notary — choose one!

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:46 am

Being a Notary isn’t always safe. Here are some dangers that you might fact.

1. Being physically abused by a borrower who doesn’t like their APR

2. Being carjacked on the way to a signing

3. Getting in a deadly accident on your way home from a signing.

4. Having your dual tray laser printer explode sending a tray (not sure which one though) flying into your head.

5. Gaining weight because you spend too much time sitting and driving and then dying from cardiovascular issues

6. Dying from touching poisoned ink that you put in your stamp.

7. Having a heart attack because you forgot your journal at home during a signing.

8. Dying of anger because you didn’t like Jeremy’s phone quiz.

9. Dying of love sickness because you realize you can’t date that borrower because she is unethical and wanted to backdate.

10. Dying in jail because you backdated and got caught.

11. Dying of romance because you wanted to date a borrower and they suggested going out on a “back date” and you died in the time machine trying to go back in time 24 hours without getting stuck there.

12. Bleeding to death due to a paper cut from a Jurat or Acknowledgment.

13. Doing a fatal Oath that kills you. “So you solemnly swear that… oh… I’m dying…”

You might also like:

10 ways female notaries can protect themselves
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19196

10 things notaries can do to screw up a notarization
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18864

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