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March 9, 2011

Pricing Formulas & Time Spent

Pricing formulas – time spent?
 
At 123notary, we help notaries try to understand the components of pricing.  How hungry you are for work is the most important factor, but time spent is another.  It is not always straight forward to understand how much time a job is going to entail.
 
Traffic
If someone asks you to do a job late at night, you might not like it if you are not a night owl.  However, there is usually no traffic at night after 9pm.  If you live in Los Angeles or NYC, you will be very happy to avoid traffic for once.  If it were me, I would want more to go out during rush hour, especially if the job is far away.
 
Miles?
Not all miles are created equal.  A job 100 miles away on a highway in Montana might be only slightly more than an hour and twenty minutes away. You can go 75 over there.  But, what about a job that is five miles away on congested roads. Some roads seem to always be congested.  Don’t bill based on mileage unless you are forced to by law ( and some states have fixed mileage rates for notaries travel fees ).  Charge the mileage based on how long it will take you.
 
More signers or more notarized signatures?
I used to be the fastest notary this side of the Pecos.  I could do ten signatures for four signers in less than thirty minutes.  Thats a total of 40 signatures and five pages of journal.  I was fast and furious.  But, long sets of documents, or extra notarizations take time.
 
Is the lender missing a few marbles?
Some lenders do not adequately inform their borrowers about the documents or the numbers in the loan.  These days, the laws are more stringent for lenders to keep their borrowers informed about the specifics of their loans.  If a particular lender always has loans that go smoothly, while another lender always gives you nightmares, that costs you extra time which needs to be incorporated into the formula.
 
Unknown company?
Always background check all companies who want you to work for them.  Look them up on our list of signing companies or use your i-phone / android to visit www.123notary.com/S.  Visit our forum or the notary rotary forum.  If you don’t know a company, you can read what others have experienced with them.  You might charge more if working for an unknown company simply because you don’t know what to expect.  Unless they have a well documented track record with others, you don’t know if you will get paid either.
 
Jails
Jails are tricky.  I would not go to a jail until you have read our blog about jails.  You need to make sure the inmate is where they are supposed to be and that you have ID, and that your contact person shows up on time. There is a lot of coordination and waiting that goes on with jail jobs.  Charge accordingly!  10-20% of the time with jail jobs you will not get paid due to lock-downs, no-shows, and ID problems, so incorporate that into your fee too.
 
Hospitals
Hospital notarizations are almost as tricky as jails, and sometimes more tricky.  Travel time to the hospital is the same as to any notary job.  But, waiting time is a constant.  People in hospital beds rarely jump up to see you, produce their ID, and are ready to go!  They are generally sleeping or drugged when you arrive and don’t know who you are.  They have forgotten that their niece is having them sign a document.  Getting them to sit up could take 20 minutes, and bring the book, “Zen and the art of holding a pen” with you — you’ll need it.  Some of the signers can not move their own arm without shaking the pen up and down the page.   If you want to do hospital notariations, please read our blog first so you will know the ins and outs (particularly the outs).  Charge a lot extra for this type of job, because they will have no qualms about keeping you there for hours without compensating you. 
 
People in hospitals, regardless of whether they are nurses, patients, or family members of patients have a very different time consciousness.  They are there for hours and nothing happens.  They are conditioned to the idea that things happen slowly.  If it takes thirty minutes to find a pen, and forty-five minutes to find an ID which isn’t even current, thats fast for them.  A New York minute might take three hours in a hospital.  Try to make sure the hospital folks have their document ready, and current identification in their hand before you get in your car.  I would charge 50-100% extra travel fee for hospitals to incorporate waiting time.  You might tell them that if you are kept waiting, there is a fee for each 20 minutes you are kept waiting.  The first 20 minutes is free, but after that waiting fees must be paid at the beginning of each 20 minute period and that the travel fee must be paid at the door before you even go up the stairs. 
 
On a brighter note, after being in business for a few years (or decades), you will eventually meet a few people at hospitals and jails who actually respect you and your time (no guarantees).  You might eventually meet people who show up prepared without you babysitting them.  Its possible!  So, think positively!
 
Remember — charge for your time, hassle and risk.  Don’t let people take liberties with you, and be prepared and educated about all normal notary situations.
 
You might also like

Hospital notarizations from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=76

Jail notarizations from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=151

Components of pricing formulas
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=84

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February 28, 2011

What do you do to advertise your notary business?

Filed under: Advertising — Tags: , — admin @ 2:59 am

There are the “traditional” ways of marketing your notary business which have mostly remained unchanged for generations such as online advertising on directories and online yellow pages, and even using Google. When I say unchanged for generations, it is because grandma and grandpa are now also using online technology and have been for years!

There are more low-tech ways such as handing out your card to those you have worked for and their office-mates, attorney offices, convalescent homes, etc. Getting on the list of as many signing & title companies as you can think of in a systematic way helps too. But, besides these ways, what other things can you do? I have been reading discussions on the various forums and have some new tips to add to my old bag of tricks.

Google Adwords
Use caution. This method of advertising is probably new to you, and the costs can rack up. It is hard to know what to bid on keywords, or even which keywords you should use. I recommend a combination of notary terms and geographic keywords such as: notary public los angeles, or san jose mobile notary. Google adwords just pulled a fast one on me and started advertising my terms in their “Display Network” which cost me an extra $1000 last month. So, login regularly to make sure your costs are not skyrocketing. On a brighter note, if used moderately and effectively, adwords can make your business. 123notary would not have made it without adwords (by the way.)

Join your local chamber of commerce
I’m not sure who queries the chamber of commerce when looking for a notary, but some people might, and it doesn’t hurt to have your name out there.

B2B Networking and Social Events
Going to social events is time consuming, so make sure you actually like being there! Yes, you can make new and potentially valuable contacts, but think of the hours you spent in acquiring them. So go, hand out your card, make a few notary jokes, and have fun. Tell them the joke about how your last client asked if he could sign with invisible ink, and you said, sure, if I can notarize it with my invisible notary seal. Then, tell them the story about how you notarized at an asylum for someone who claimed to be Abraham Lincoln! They will get a laugh out of your stories If you go to social events, you need a repetoire of crazy notary stories that will keep them laughing. Then, they will definitely remember you when they need a notary.

Social Media
Craigslist is the most practical way to advertise or find common services. But, some notaries use Google+, Facebook, Twitter, and others. The problem with social media is that your followers might be in Uganda, and if they need a notary job, it might be a little too far for you. Craigslist on the other hand segments their advertising to your metro, or your part of your metro which makes it very usable.

Websites
Notaries have been creating websites for years. But, hosting is expensive and so is promotion. I don’t recommend a website unless you are going to really invest some time and money to learn to do it right. You can get a lot of mileage out of our website at very little cost if you create a highly optimized profile which is not that hard!

Newsletters for senior communities
Seniors need mobile notaries. You can call hospitals and convalescent homes directly, or let them find you in the yellow pages, or newsletters. Targetting this specific age group is a very smart idea for a mobile notary, since they are not always that mobile themselves.

Web directories
123notary, notaryrotary, notarycafe, and signingagent.com are traditional choices for those who want to do online advertising for their notary work. I also want to note that 123notary has been getting record breaking traffic recently, and we anticipate that this trend will continue!

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Florida notaries with complaints

Notary Public Florida: a complaint story
 
Here is a complaint from soneone who used a particular Florida notary:

“This is the first time we have used this Florida notary public for a closing. The Notary made a mistake on the documents where she had the borrower date everything 5/7/2011 instead of 7/5/2011 which was a notary mistake that ended up costing the broker $1000.00. Two weeks after the closing the notary called the title company directly demanding her payment of the full signing fee because she had bills to pay. She threatened to sue everyone involved with the transaction even though we were the company that hired her. This Notary was very unprofessional. The Notary was paid at 30 days by our company.”
 
The notary claims that the borrower signed the dates incorrectly and that she asked the borrowers to put the correct date, but they refused.  Then, the Florida notary claimed that the borrower wouldn’t sign where it said borrower, because she considered herself to be the co-borrower. Additionally, the notary claims that the borrower was very rude and condescending to her. The notary claims that she spent two hours at the signing and that the borrower couldn’t read the small print and wouldn’t cooperate. It is hard to know who is right or wrong here.  Was this a notary mistake or just the borrower acting crazy — or both?
 
The bigger issue is that the notary threatened to sue everyone before her payment was even late. It is professional to allow people 45 days to make payment before you start making legal threats.  Also, suing someone for $60 doesn’t really make sense in the real world.
 
Another Florida notary public wrote a complaint about 123notary.
The notary was late confirming her listing, and I called the notary to see if she was still alive and in business.  We have notaries move, quit, and end up in the hospital, and die all the time without even informing us. If I ever die, I will have the consideration to inform everyone within (5) business days. In any case, I called this Florida notary’s phone, and her message stated that she was no longer doing loan signings.   I assumed from this message that she was out of business as a mobile notary — boy was I wrong.  Rather than contacting me and politely informing me that she was still in business, she started slandering us on forums telling the world about the horrible crime that we had commited by temporarily removing her listing.    She created all types of drama over nothing.  I think that her MISLEADING phone message should have stated that she is still doing mobile notary work, but not doing loan signings.  That way, anyone calling her about work would have a clear impression that she was still in business. I hate being blamed for other people’s bad communication skills. People need to take responsibility for their own incompetent actions.  In any case, her listing went right back on the minute she asked me to reinstate her.  Unfortunately for her, I documented her zany behavior in the review section.  I stated that she committed no acts of misconduct, but created an unnecessary drama over nothing!  This case was  a business mistake on her part, not a notary mistake, but it is still ridiculous!

You might also like:

California notaries with complaints
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2485

I make mistakes too
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3639

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January 24, 2011

A Notary from Florida travels to India

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:53 am

A customer went to a Notary in Florida.

CUSTOMER: I need to be notarized. Can you notarize me?

FLORIDA NOTARY: Sure I can. I just need a document.

CUSTOMER: Here is the document.

FLORIDA NOTARY: You already signed it. I cannot notarize it.

CUSTOMER: That’s not what the law says. Notaries are required to know their state laws. And anyway, you can verify the signature when I sign your journal.

FLORIDA NOTARY: But my state doesn’t require me to keep a journal.

CUSTOMER: What if I give you a fake ID, steal a million dollars from Fred’s house, and then disappear. You are the one who will be the suspect in court because you have no evidence to defend yourself. You became a Notary to make a few extra bucks and now look what happened.

FLORIDA NOTARY: I don’t think I feel comfortable notarizing you.

CUSTOMER: I don’t think I feel comfortable being notarized BY you.

(one month later)

Mr. FIBBS: My house was compromised and I’m out a million dollars. You were the Notary who notarized the transaction. The FBI is investigating and we need to see your journal.

FLORIDA NOTARY: Oh, I don’t keep a journal because my state doesn’t require me to.

FBI: Mr. Florida Notary, please come with us. You are under arrest for identity fraud conspiracy.

FLORIDA NOTARY: But, I’m not in cahutz with anyone. I just notarized a document.

FBI: Yes, but without the journal and a journal thumbprint, you are covering up incriminating evidence which makes you look very suspicious which is why you are under arrest.

Mr. FIBBS: My life is ruined and all because of that damn Notary and the damn Florida Notary Division which doesn’t require the one thing that would have saved my finances — namely a journal with paw prints. Boo hoo hoo. I’ll be in a mess for at least a year and could end up homeless too.

(two days later after paying bail.)

FLORIDA NOTARY: Oh no, my son needs a new kidney and the only place I can get one is in India. I’ll book our flights today and hope I get back in time for my court appearance as a suspect in an identity fraud ring.

RAHUL: Yes, Ms. Frieda Florida Notary Public. We can have your kidney which you have been on a list for two years come in on Friday. It will be no problem. You will need to show up at that Rajeev Gandhi National Hospital in Bangalore on the 3rd. Will that be okay?

FLORIDA NOTARY: Yes, that will be fine.

TAXI DRIVER: Where are you going?

FLORIDA NOTARY: We are going to the Rajeev Gandhi Hospital in JP Nagar in Bangalore.

TAXI DRIVER: That will be 80 rupees. Meter broken.

(ten minutes later there was a terrible crash.)

FLORIDA NOTARY: Oh no, we’ve been in a deadly car crash since we were dodging that elephant to the right and that ox to the left. My son is dead. And this cab has no seatbelts. You Mr. Taxi Driver are responsible for my son’s death because there are no seatbelts in this vehicle.

TAXI DRIVER: Oh no, you see in India, we are not LEGALLY REQUIRED to have seatbelts. So, you see it is not my fault. Accidents happen, what can you do?

FLORIDA NOTARY: Now my life is ruined because of that damned taxi driver and the damned Indian government for not requiring thumbprints.

(coincidentally, the driver carrying the kidney was in the car that crashed into Florida Notary and was also killed because he too was not wearing a seatbelt, and the kidney went flying out the window and ended up on the back of an elephant.)

TAXI DRIVER: Yes, Mr. pharmacist, I need some holistic remedy to a bug infestation in my house. What do you recommend?

PHARMACIST: There is tea tree oil. It is not expensive and microscopic insects are often killed from it.

(the taxi driver uses the tea tree oil and has a horrible reaction to it that ends him up in the hospital for two days.)

TAXI DRIVER: Hey, that oil you sold me is toxic to humans and you did not warn me.

PHARMACIST: The government of India, and coincidentally America does not regulate this type of products. You buy at your own risk.

(meanwhile Mr. Fibbs and his wife move to India since they lost almost all of their money in the identity theft and get exactly the same taxi driver that the Florida Notary did.)

Mr. FIBBS: Taxi! We are going to the Himalayas to live. We lost almost all our money because of this damn Notary. Can you believe it?”

TAXI DRIVER: Was she about 5’10”, dark hair and really annoying, with a thick Florida accent?

Mr. FIBBS: Yes, that was her. Why. Do you know her?

TAXI DRIVER: Never seen her in my life. No just kidding. She was in our car when a bus came out of nowhere and I had to swerve to the left and there was a terrible accident. This type of thing happens a lot in India. Maybe I’m telling you too much.

Mr. FIBBS: Well that woman deserves to die.

TAXI DRIVER: Funny that you mention that. And by the way, what do you do for a living?

Mr. FIBBS: I give investment advice.

TAXI DRIVER: Oh, I know somebody who needs advice at the pharmacy.

PHARMACIST: Yes, Mr. Fibbs. I am wanting to know, which US stocks are you liking?

Mr. FIBBS: You could pick a good index fund, but my favorite is Cola Cola stock. They have a good business model and solid management. I would put most of my money in that stock if I only bought one stock.

PHARMACIST: You saved my life.

(two weeks later coca-cola stock crashes, Mr. Fibbs and his wife decide it is better to be paupers in America then live in India under any circumstances and our characters all meet again.)

PHARMACIST: Mr. Fibbs. You are back. But, I have lost all my money. Coca-Cola stock crashed. You have given me very bad advice. Very very bad advice. You are a very very bad man.

Mr. FIBBS: First of all, Coca-Cola is a very solid company. But, you can’t buy a stock and sell it on a whim under unfavorable circumstances or you could lose your money with any stock. And second, I am NOT LEGALLY REQUIRED to back my investment advice. It is just an opinion and not an intrinsic truth. I am not a psychic.

PSYCHIC: Did someone call? I can tell you your future. You will be broke and die in misery. 50 rupees please. I need a new turban. This one makes me look fat.

ALL WATCHING: Get lost!!!!

PHARMACIST: You ruined my life. You damned investment advisor and your damn American laws not requiring that you take responsibility for what you tell people.

TAXI DRIVER: Well you almost ended my life with that tea tree oil without a warning.

FLORIDA NOTARY: (who came out of nowhere) well you ended my son’s life because you didn’t bother having seatbelts. It wouldn’t kill you to invest a thousand rupees to save someone’s life.

Mr. FIBBS: Well you ruined my finances by not having a journal. It costs $15 to have a journal and another $16 to get a thumbprinter from the NNA. I know this because I was so upset with you that I decided to become a Notary. But instead of being a shoddy Notary, I decided to become the most thorough Notary in the world besides Jeremy at 123notary.com who by the way is an ex-Notary, but a very thorough ex-Notary.

TAXI DRIVER: I guess we all ruined each others lives. Perhaps it is our karma that we should meet under such unfortunate circumstances.

GURU: I have been observing this entire conversation and situation for the last month and it is in deed very karmically perplexing, complex and yet still deeply interesting. I have only one more thing to say.

TAXI DRIVER: What’s that?

GURU: Tag — you’re it!!!!!

.

You might also like:

I was forced to forge my own signature in India
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19306

Indian Notaries having an arranged marriage
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19222

Notary Indian tandoori restaurant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16497

30 minute Islamic prayer break at a signing & other stories
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16185

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January 21, 2011

Affidavit of Support and direct communication with the signer

Filed under: Affidavits — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:10 am

As a former Notary Public, my favorite type of notarization was for Affidavits of Support. It was not the actual document that I enjoyed. It was the hospitality that accompanied the job which normally included various types of Asian cuisine! I’m not particular. I like pot stickers, fried rice, and rad-na! It’s all good. To do a good job doing an Affidavit of Support Notary job, you need to know how to place your stamp in a very tight area in a form and know how to administer an Oath. But, what if your signer doesn’t know English that well?

State notary public laws vary from state to state. One of the largest discrepancies is how to deal with foreign language documents and foreign language speakers. Some states require direct communication between the notary and the signer. That means that no translators or interpreters are allowed. Even if you know very little of the signer’s language or vice-versa, that might be enough to get through a notarization procedure.

Remember — notary appointments require very little actual communication. You need to ask if the signer understands the document. You need to instruct the signer where to sign the document and your journal. You need to be able to negotiate fees. You need to be able to administer an Oath in their language. You could easily learn to do Oaths in five languages without any linguistic talents to speak of! Just for the record, I used to give Oaths in Chinese and Spanish. I know relatively little Spanish although I can chatter for hours in Chinese with my acupuncturist.

And what if the document is written in a different language? Since an Affidavit of Support is a U.S. Immigration Document, it would be in English. But, what if your signer has some other documents in Chinese Calligraphy to have notarized? Does your state allow you to notarize those documents if you don’t know the language? And what if the signer’s signature is in Chinese Characters? OMG! Or perhaps I should say MSG!

Although some states allow the use of an interpreter, doing notary work is critical, and is a way to preserve and protect the integrity of signatures and Oaths. I personally feel that regardless of what your state laws say, be on the safe side and learn to communicate directly with whomever you notarize. After all, an unknown and/or un-certified interpreter could make a mistake which could cause a heap of trouble! Know your state’s laws before you go out on a notary job!

Tweets:
(1) As a former notary, my favorite type of notarization was for Affidavits of Support because the hospitality that accompanied.
(2) If you specialize in notarizing Affidavits of Support, you might get pot stickers, fried rice, and cash tips.
(3) How do you deal with foreign language docs & foreign language speakers w/o breaking state laws?
(4) Many states don’t allow the use of an interpreter — and this law is not open to interpretation!

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January 13, 2011

Notary Ambulance

There was a Notary in New York who wanted to be important. He was always overlooked. The only think people wanted was a $2 notarization. How are you supposed to survive in New York on $2 even if you do a few dozen Notary acts per day? He did loan signings and got the usual fee, but wanted something more. He thought for days about this perplexing problem and then came up with something. If he could get to his appointments earlier, then he could do more work every day, and maybe even get respect.

So, the Notary drove around and thought. The more he drove the more he thought and the more he thought the more he drove until it came to him. An ambulance was behind him and in a huge hurry. He saw through his rear view mirror the words Ambulance. Hmmm. The Notary had an idea. He would write the word NOTARY on a sign on his roof in mirror image writing so when someone saw it in their rear view mirror, they would know to get out of his way. There was only one thing he was lacking — a siren. This Notary didn’t want to get locked up. If you use a siren, that might be considered impersonating an emergency vehicle which might mean jail time. So, this Notary practiced doing verbal sirens.

Finally the day came when his Notary sign was complete, and he had perfected his siren impression which he learned to do by attending a comedy workshop. Yes, the same comedy workshop that sponsered the hit series, Notary Suicide Hotline. He was ready to go out into the world. So, he drove down the streets of New York, he did his siren. Everybody ignored him. The only people who paid attention were ones who laughed and made wise cracks about his funny looking sign and funny looking old car. Oh well. This Notary tried, and failed. But, at least he used his creativity!

But, then one day, he was driving along, and someone saw his sign in his rear view mirror. That person pulled up next to him and said, “Hey, I need a Notary… what do you charge?” He said he had a $50 minimum for traveling gigs. Well, this customer wanted to only pay $2 per signature, but had 1000 signatures, and would pay $100 each fifty signatures, and would pay in cash in advance. The Notary had struck it rich. The Notary went to the job, got paid cash, and laughed his way to the bank.

So, the moral of the story is, if you try different creative approaches to solving business problems, you never know what will happen!

.

You might also like:

Ken’s guide to hospital signings
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3764

A tale of four notaries in hospitals
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=463

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January 12, 2011

Notary Jail

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (very) — Tags: — admin @ 12:00 pm

WARDEN: Welcome to Notary Jail — Don’t drop the embosser!
It’s time for mug shots. Turn to the right and say “scilicit” — that’s a notary term. You would know that if you read your Notary handbook. And by the way, selling your notary seal on eBay, was it really worth it?

NOTARY: Hey, I got paid $800 for it. I was in a pinch and needed the money.

WARDEN: Well you won’t have to worry about being behind on rent here!

I think that I am the first person to come up with this concept. Notary jail. Where Notaries go when they’ve been bad. But, most Notaries have been bad, they just didn’t get caught because their secretary of state’s don’t bother to enforce a single law. What is the point of having laws if you don’t enforce them?

Oath Omissions
If you forget to administer an Oath you should be sent to Notary jail and get booked. The first thing they will do is thumbprint you in their journal. Then, they will ask you if you take journal thumbprints. If you say, “My state doesn’t require that.” Then they will put you in solitary confinement. After all, an innocent person could be scammed out of everything they own and the culprit could run free simply because you didn’t take a thumbprint.

ID-ing
If you didn’t ID someone correctly, then a cell in the insane ward would be in order. Since you let John Smith sign as John W Smith, you will also not mind being around five people who are sure that they are Abraham Lincoln.

Loose Certificates
And then there are the people who don’t fill in certificates properly or send loose certificates in the mail. Tisk tisk. The staff at Notary jail will goof on your jail paperwork if you do that and you’ll be in for a long time.

Jail Food?
Oh, and the food at Notary jail? Embossed flat bread sandwiches. You get that nice raised seal embossed pattern on every bite. Then they have a breakfast cereal called frosted mini-seals. Oh, and one more thing. They have soap shaped like a Notary seal. But, don’t drop the soap (or don’t drop the seal.)

Entertainment at Notary jail involves watching television documentaries on the notary profession and NNA how to materials. When they run out of sleeping pills, they have written Notary materials for you to study. The yard outside is shaped like a giant notary seal. You get an hour of outside time per day.

Notary Questions
And if they ask Notary questions in Notary jail, don’t talk back to the guards like you normally do to Jeremy. Just answer questions the way they were asked and you might get time off for good behavior.

Conclusion
In real life, the Notaries who end up in jail are those who committed fraud involving real property. Trying to steal someone’s property and put it in someone else’s name using your Notary commission is the worst crime you can commit.

Then there are the cases where fraud happens that is not the Notary’s fault. Perhaps if the Notary had been more careful filling out the certificates or journal entries it would be easier to prove what happened. But, in such cases, the notary ends up in court, not jail.

If you do end up in Notary jail, you might bump into a few of your Mortgage Broker clients. On the other hand, they have their own jail — Mortgage Jail.

.

Can a Notary go to jail for Notary fraud?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21353

Putting jails and hospitals into your notes section
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19266

Go to jail but DO collect $100
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15361

Find a notary who goes to Twin Towers Jail and other Los Angeles Prisons
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21349

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January 10, 2011

Notary Cheers Part 2: Sammy gets a name change notarized

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 7:12 am

Please read the part 1 of this blog entry so you are aware of the context. Sam has to run to the county clerk to get his name change form, so that he can check into a hotel room anonymously with his girlfriend without a paper trail leading back to him. Diane needs to have an Oath for Carla stating that she will stay out of Carla’s hair in exchange for a shift switch.

DIANE: Sam, where are you going?

SAM: I’m running late. I need to get to the County Clerk’s office and get back here for my next shift.

DIANE: Just eat something and run over there. It’s only a fifteen minute walk. And it’s sunny today.

CARLA: Yeah, it’s sunny now. But, it’ll be a lot sunnier if certain people swear they’ll stay out of my hair, and get that Oath notarized.

CLIFF: (snickering under his breath) Who wouldn’t want to stay out of that Brillo Pad?

CARLA: (yanking on Cliff’s hair, causing him to wince) At least my hair isn’t about to be yanked out!

DIANE: Can’t you two save your antics for the playground?

CARLA: Relax. I’m not about to let your hair fall out. The bleach you’re overusing beat me to it.

DIANE: It’s not bleach. It’s the sun! Sam, I will get the Oath notarized at 8pm tonight. Scout’s honor! (raising her right hand)

SAM: Better not swear to the Notary it’s the sun. (Gang, except for Diane, chuckles) Gotta go.

Sam walks down to the County Clerk. The line isn’t that bad. Finally, it’s his turn.

CLERK: Purpose of ya’ visit sir?

SAM: I’m gonna need a name change form.

CLERK: Are ya’ sure you wanna change ya’ name? “Sam” sounds pretty good to me. Why ah’ you doin’ this?

SAM: I need to check into a hotel with my new girlfriend, but she’s married, and… I don’t want a paper trail leading back to me. It’s a long story.

CLERK: This never came from me — and I’m not recommendin’ it neitha’, but the easiest way to sneak around isn’t to change your name. It’s to get a fake ID.

SAM: A fake ID?

CLERK: Shhhh. I’m supposed to have ethics, so I can’t recommend doin’ that, but if you change ya’ name, there ah’ strings attached. A fake ID might get you in a little trouble, but you ahn’t hurting anyone, so the cops will go easy on you.

SAM: Can I change my name back if the relationship doesn’t work out?

CLERK: I’m known in town as the most helpful guy eva’ to work in a gova’ment office. I’ll tell ya’ one thing. You can do name variations too. Fa’ loan documents, they have a signature affidavit and AKA statement where you list all the names you’ve been known by in the past. You could get a name variation, and have an ID that represents one of ya’ names.

SAM: Wow. And I thought counting the notches on my bedpost was complicated. But I think I’m catching on. I like this. So, um, how do I do a variation?

CLERK: Here’s a form. By havin’ this form, you can get a second state issued ID, not a driver’s license but a state ID. It’s all legal ya’ see. That document is all ya’ need. For an alias, address, legally, you will need to open a post office box. But, the box would be traceable to your current name. Get the form notarized, then get the mail box, and then get ya’ ID — in that order, otha’wise you’ll screw the whole thing up!

SAM: I like that. Thanks a bunch. You saved my life and my relationship.

CLERK: What number notch will that be?

SAM: I can’t count that high.

Back at Cheers…

DIANE: I’m done typing up my official Oath. I, Diane Chambers of sound mind and body, residing at 54 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108, solemnly swear that I will not get in Carla’s proverbial hair. I will not bother her, harass her, nor will I nag her for any light and transient reasons, or even serious reasons for that matter. I included room for a signature, a date, and notarial verbiage.

CLIFF: I think there’s one thing you forgot, there Diane. You’re swearing never to bother her again for the rest of your life. That’s kind of a long time. After all, you’re still kind of a spring chicken.

DIANE: Thank you, Cliff. I think.

CARLA: Since when do spring chickens have barely visible breasts?

SAM: I’m back and I’m about to fill out the name variation document. Oh, and Carla, Diane happens to be very sensitive about her age — so mum’s the word.

WOODY: Mum’s the word, Sam? That’s what I call my mom, and she’s way older than Miss Chambers.

DIANE: You heard Woody, Sam. Pick another word.

SAM: How’s about “ageless”?

DIANE: No, Sam! That’s how they refer to people who already are old!

SAM: Okay, I’ll stick with “annoying.”

EVERYBODY: Norm!!!

WOODY: How’s it hangin’, Mr. Peterson?

NORM: According to Vera, it’s “barely.” Hey, Sammy, did you get that paperwork?

SAM: It’s all complete! And soon to be notarized!

NOTARY: I’m going to need a beer. Sorry I’m late. I kept looking for the bar where everybody knows my name.

DIANE: And we’re always glad you came.

CARLA: Please, don’t start singing.

DIANE: Here is my Oath verbiage — verbatum!

NOTARY: There’s nothing I love more than a prepared customer except for two things.

SAM: That high I can count. What?

NOTARY: A beautiful woman, and a cold one, but not necessarily in that order.

CARLA: (slamming Diane) Don’t you mean one thing?

CLIFF: Isn’t it, uh, illegal to notarize under the influence? It’s a little known fact that in ‘62 a notary who had a taste of the sauce mistakenly notarized JFK’s letter to Marilyn Manson instead of Marilyn Monroe.

NOTARY: It’s only illegal if your signer is intoxicated. You can be drunk, although it is highly discouraged in the Notary community. There is no law against it. The signer has to be of sound mind to be notarized, otherwise they might sign all their money away to a con-man, or worse.

CARLA: What could be worse than that?

NOTARY: They might sign their money over to their greedy family. It happened to me once notarizing an elderly lady who was in a hospital. They drugged her right before the signing. I had to go to court on that one and testify that she looked a bit out of it although I hadn’t been informed that she’d been medicated. I could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble on that one.

NORM: Good thing you didn’t. But isn’t it true that if you didn’t know the signer was medicated, you’re off the hook even if they seemed like they might have been medicated but didn’t make it too obvious?

NOTARY: (To Woody) One Sam Adams please. In these hospital signings, you can never be too careful. Even if you’re off the hook, that day you spend in court is enough to frazzle even the most diligent of notaries!

WOODY: See, that’s where you and I are different. I can be too careful. Like when I was too careful about not stepping on a crack that could break my mum’s back.

CLIFF: What happened, Woody?

WOODY: I accidentally stepped on her toe instead.

SAM: If I were a Notary, I’d look them over from head to toe. Make sure they seem “sound” to me.

CLIFF: That’s what he does with every female under 35 who waltzes in here. He’s good at that.

NOTARY: Okay, I feel ready. I’ll finish the other half of my beer after Diane’s docs. I’ll put the beer to the right — no breathing on it, and your docs to the left. Let’s see if the table is nice and dry?

DIANE: Oh, I brought a clip-board for that. I don’t want my documents touching that petri dish of a bar.

NOTARY: Can I see your ID ma’am?

DIANE: Oh, here it is.

NOTARY: Hmmm. (loudly) 1947, what? You don’t look a day over 35. How could this be….

CLIFF: The secret’s out! The cat’s out of the bag!

CARLA: So the stick is old enough to run for President! I knew that makeup was covering up your “gravitas.”

DIANE: Hear me now, Carla! And hear me, everyone! I am far too young to be President!

CLIFF: You can run for leader of the free world if you’re 35, Diane.

NORM: Wow, Sammy. Who knew you liked older women?

They all laugh.

DIANE: (to Notary) Some things are supposed to be private! One’s age… hair color…

NOTARY: I’m so sorry.

DIANE: Oh well. (sniffle) At least, we can get this form notarized.

NOTARY: Do you solemnly swear that you agree to the terms in this document, and that you will not get in Carla’s hair?

DIANE: As things happen to currently stand, very “solemnly.” (raising her right hand and looking dismally at the floor) Yes, I do (sniffle)

NORM: I now pronounce you Notary, and wife!

CLIFF: I’ll drink to that!

SAM: What about my form?

NOTARY: Let me have the other half of my beer.

NORM: Now that she said I do, your other half is right there!

DIANE: You know I’m still with Frasier, Norman.

NORM: Don’t worry. We won’t tell him you’re robbing the cradle.

DIANE: In answer to “how’s it hangin’,” “it” is about to be your neck!

NOTARY: Okay, I’m ready for Sam. Bring it over. No spilling drinks on the documents people! I mean that!

SAM: Here it is.

NOTARY: Okay, now for this signature, you sign your name as Sam, but on this next signature, you sign as John Doe. Do you think you can do that?

SAM: I’m not great at remembering names. But, sure, I think I can handle it…

NOTARY: Your notarization is complete Mr. Doe.

SAM: Sweet!!! I’ll tell Veronica!

CLIFF: Just don’t tell her husband your old name. Or your new name’ll be “mud.”

NORM: So, what do we owe you?

DIANE: No, you don’t have to do that.

NORM: It’s the least we can do after the humiliation and grief we’ve caused you.

NOTARY: I’ll tell you what. Another beer, and $30. We’ll call it even.

SAM: I’ve never said this to anyone, but, you’re my kind of Notary.

NOTARY: Do you really mean that?

SAM: I do.

NORM: Now, it’s a threesome! Sammy said, “I do” too!

You might also like:

Part 1 of Notary Cheers: Sammy gets a name change notarized!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

Seinfeld Episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6616

Two and a half notaries: Detering notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

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January 8, 2011

Good ID is not Enough

It’s a sad notary who is writing this installment. I write this in the evening after the culmination of a series of events. My tale will be familiar to many, especially those with years of experience. It started out as a routine request to notarize a Power of Attorney, then the Agent would sign two additional forms using their Powerof Attorney authority. The assignment was from a lost funds recovery agency. The three short documents were emailed to me; and my fee was coming as a check; mailed the same day.

Delays developed into two weeks, presumably, I did not verify; the check cleared long prior to the start of the assignment. As to the assignment: An elderly lady was in a convalescent home, she was to give her son Power of Attorney to dispose of some assets. Immediately my antenna went up. Hospital environments are challenging, seeing proper ID often a major problem. He also assured me that she was rational and able to understand the document she was to sign. The son related that she did not have “Govt issued Photo ID” but a collection of documents that should suffice. We discussed this issue at length. I have wide latitude in what constitutes proper ID in NY State. The rule here is that the notary is required to view “adequate proof”. That’s it. No further guidelines.

The son could produce several original (not photocopies) documents that only a family member would have access to. The sticking point was the aspect of photo ID. Finally, a breakthrough; the facility had in the patient folder an admission picture, and were willing to give me a copy (to be returned with other photocopies of original documents. It was not the best ID situation, but the lady had been in the home for over a decade, and the assets were recently discovered.

I know, I’m letting the son’s “story” influence my “is it good enough” decision. There were other positive aspects of her identification that I will not disclose. Suffice to say, I informed the son that strict adherence to gathering her ID was essential. Looking at the notary section of her Power of Attorney, I noticed that “produced a driver license as identification” was preprinted. I could not edit the file as the PDF was from a scan. I had the attorney send me an editable file and changed that line to mention by name each of the ID components that I planned to accept. A quick scan and I proceeded to send the scan to the attorney for approval. Approval granted.

The next hurdle was witnesses. I could be one of them. The son said he would “draft” a nurse to be the second witness. Been there, suffered that. Many is the facility that I have visited that do not allow staff to sign anything. The son insisted they would. I asked for the name and contact number of the specific staff member to be sure to arrive during their shift. Son was unable to obtain any commitment and a few days delay was incurred as he found a witness.

Finally, after two weeks, we set a date and time. I prepared two of each of the three documents in case there was a mistake. Upon entering her room my heart sank. It was obvious that she would be unable to understand what she was to sign. Additionally, she was physically unable to sign. The floor nurse was called, and confirmed my opinion. She could hear, but not respond to “blink three times if your son is standing in front of you”. The floor nurse called the Social Worker who asked “what’s going on in here”. A brief explanation later yielded “I will not permit her to sign anything”. Of course that was redundant; I would not notarize with or without her permission. The son lamented that the “Court Appointed Guardian” procedure was too time-consuming and expensive. This was my cue to leave, feeling sad for her affliction. But, the law is inflexible, applies to all; and as NY notaries are sworn officers of the State Department – I could only walk away.

.

You might also like:

Notary Etiquette from Athiest to Zombie
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13718

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Credible Witnesses from A to Z

Credible Witnesses from A to Z
 
What is a credible witness?
A credible witness, “CW”, or credible identifying witness is someone who can identify a signer at a notary signing.  The credible witness must know the signer and must know the signer’s name.  The witness should know the signer by having met many times in the past through different individuals.  Some states require that the credible witness always knows the notary as well, to create a chain of relationships, while others only require that the credible witness knows the notary if only one credible witness is used.  The credible witness should be an impartial party who does not have beneficial interest in the document
 
Which states allow the use of credible witnesses?
Many states allow credible witnesses, and we documented these states on a forum post
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4047.  To summarize: Virginia is a state that does not allow credible witnesses.  Most other states that we have information about do allow credible witnesses.
 
States that allow 1 Credible Witness
How many credible witnesses do you need to use in various states? What are the credible witness rules?
Arizona, Ohio, Pennsylvania and several other states allow the use of one CW that must be known to the notary, and must know the signer. 
 
States that allow 1 or 2 Credible Witnesses
California, Florida, and Georgia, among other states, allow the use of one CW if the witness is known to the notary and knows the signer; or two CW’s if the notary doesn’t know either of the witnesses.  These states are unique in that they offer a choice of using one or two credible witnesses.
 
States that allow 2 Credible Witnesses
Tennessee and Missouri allow the use of two credible witnesses to identify a signer.
 
Procedure
Credible Witness Rules can vary from state to state, but as a general rule, you should not use a credible witness unless there is no identification available.  In many cases, the identification available will have a different name variation on it, making it unacceptable to be used when signing documents that have a longer, or different name variation. Whether or not its legal to use credible witnesses in this type of situation is something to look up in your state’s notary manual.
 
The credible witness must SIGN the notary’s journal in California. Rules vary from state to state, so be knowledgeable about your particular state’s rules. The CW must raise their right hand and swear to the identity of the signer.  The CW must also have acceptable identification.  It is wise for the notary to record the CW’s address, ID#, and phone number in their journal. 
 
Common Uses
If a notary is doing a jail signing, inmates never have acceptable ID on them unless a visitor brings it.  When doing a jail signing, an attorney, relative, or friend of the inmate will normally meet you. Make sure they are going to bring the inmate’s ID and that the ID is current and state issued.
 
Hospital signings involve signers who are too elderly to drive in many instances.  These folks often don’t have current identification making the use of CW’s necessary.
 
If you notarize someone who lost their ID, or doesn’t have one becase they don’t drive, you might need credible witnesses. 
 
If the name variation on the document is slightly different from the name on the ID, you might check your state notary manual to see if using a credible witness in this situation is allowed.
 
Issues
A few notaries on our Facebook network have pointed out that many loan signings should not be done using credible witnesses.  One notary in Pennsylvania stated that for loans that require USA Patriot Act ID verification, credible witnesses should not be used.  Another notary in Florida points out that the CW is swearing to the fact that the signer does not have the acceptable identification documents and that it is difficult or impossible to find such documents.

Credible Witness Notary
There is no such thing as a credible witness notary, however you can be a notary that uses credible witnesses.  Just make sure you know how many credible witnesses to use.
 
Summary
After being a notary public in California for eight years, I found that 15% of my signings would not have been possible without the use of credible witnesses, among other “Plan B” type procedures.  Many notaries try to get through their career learning as little as possible about what they need to know to get the job done.  You will be letting future clients down if you are not an expert at credible witness procedures for your particular state.  You could be letting countless clients go high and dry if you don’t know this procedure. Please consult your state’s notary manual to learn exactly what all of the CW requirements (credible witness notary rules) are for your state.

You might also like:

Credible Witnesses – the process explained
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16695

Credible Witness Scenarios
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18911

Credible Witnesses – the ins and outs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19634

Forum string: Credible Witnesses – the basics

Can a notary be a witness?

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