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January 22, 2011

The (Sleezy) Notary Motel

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 7:08 am

We wrote about the Notary Hotel. That was one of most popular blog entries ever. But, what about Notary Motel. It’s just not as much fun at all. Imagine a sleezy Notary Motel. The clerk yells, “You have to be out of here by 10:30AM whether you are done signing or not.” The staff are always on the lookout for fake ID and compare all ID’s to the DMV’s database. This motel smelled like smoke in every room even though there were no smoking signs. Every time a car parked in the central lot, you could hear them slam their doors. Worse yet, I learned that in room 202, a Notary was turning signings in her room. There goes the neighborhood. There were people going in and out of that room all night long. One guy was in such a hurry to get out of there, he left his signatures hanging out as he exited the building.

SIGNER: Doing my signing here is terrible. What is that pounding noise on the wall.

NOTARY: Hmm, maybe they have a gym in the next room. Having fitness rooms is so popular these days.

SIGNER: The one thing I do like is that the parking lot in front looks like a Notary stamp. It is rectangular, the perimeter is very geometric with all of the parking spaces exactly in place. And in the middle it says the state, county, and the motel’s commission #.

NOTARY: Hmm, I didn’t notice that. Oh, I hear another noise coming from outside. Oh look, it is another Notary wearing wife beaters chasing his client into the parking lot.

OTHER NOTARY: Hey, sign this paper or else I’m leaving buddy.

OTHER SIGNER: Fine, take it and stuff it.

OTHER NOTARY: You owe me a travel fee. I hope you got cash!

OTHER SIGNER: I’m leaving.

SIGNER: Boy, what a place this Notary Motel is. I think we would have been much better off having our signing in the breakfast room of the Notary Hotel having one of those embossed waffles and then going to one of their signature rooms.

NOTARY: Yes, if we lived in a perfect world. But, if we lived in a perfect world, nobody would have to go to Notary Hell when they died either.

SIGNER: Good point. But, they go there because they have been bad Notaries, which is not the fault of the world. Okay, I’m done signing.

NOTARY: Great, just make sure you don’t walk out with one of their towels. They’ve been ripped off so many times they put microchips in those things to track them.

SIGNER: I’m not that desperate. Hey, who’s that sleazy looking lady in the parking lot. She looks like she is on drugs or something.

LADY: $10 dollars for a signature. $5 dollars for half a signature. I’ll sign anything you want!

GUY: Hey baby, wanna do a signing? Hop in!

NOTARY: I think we need to get out of here. I didn’t know it was this bad!

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Welcome to the Notary Hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

Notary Oscars
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16540

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Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports: Learn which companies are involved!

Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports…

For some of you, this is old information that you have already been following. However, many notaries do not have time to read everything that goes on on the forum, and this news about signing companies will be of interest and a convenience to them!  It is hard for me to keep up with what is going on on the forums on a daily basis, but I have noticed that a lot of bad things happened in September 2011.  There were a few loan signing companies that had a reasonable reputation that suddenly stopped paying notaries.  One or more companies was reported to be out of business.  I am going to summarize the more important events of the last month or two here. I will only mention the more noteworthy signing companies here.
 
All Service Notary & Signings
Sept 16 – A notary gives up on trying to collect their bill and hands it over to a collection agency. Additionally, this notary reports the signing company to a credit bureau!  Another notary reports trouble getting paid from this company.  A third notary says, that after a long time, they finally received their check — but, that was in early August. The situation looks like it has deteriorated since then.
 
CRES Closers
One notary says that they are the BEST to work for!  Another says they met his fee and that they were great to work for. A third notary claims that they sent payment super fast!  Wow, it is nice to hear good things about a signing company these days!
 
Equifax Settlement Services
One notary got paid, but says the company says that they will take THREE MONTHS to pay for jobs in the future because they have to wait until the loans fund.  Another notary discusses the letter they sent to the BBB about this company. A third notary discusses the difference in what this company offers different notaries for the same work.  One gets $85, while another is offered $125!
 
FASS – First American Signature Services
Notaries are complaining, but not about payment issues.  One notary was taken off the list because FASS found a less expensive notary.  Back in 2010, FASS took over service for a big Title company and dropped the notary who had been servicing the signings for that Title company.  Another notary feels that they were treated rudely after some sort of argument about “quality issues”.  Although there is a lot of complaining going on here, I don’t see any wrongdoing on the part of FASS. They are just shopping around to find the best notaries for them — and trying to get high quality service as well. America is a free country and nobody is obligated to keep the same notary for life.
 
Final Link
Three notaries have complained that this company doesn’t do a good job of getting back to people. Not returning calls, etc.
 
First Preference Signing
Four notaries all claim in unison that this is the best company that they have ever worked for. 
 
Harvard Abstract
Three notaries are claiming that this company is easy to work for and that they pay quickly.
 
HVR Notaries
Two notaries claim that this is a good company to work for.  One says, “They met my fee”, which is a very good sign these days with all the low balling.
 
Insured Closings
Notaries claim that there have been several reports of BOUNCED CHECKS from this company.  Watch out!
 
National Loan Closers
This company is reported to be asking for $25 to keep notaries on their list. This is causing a lot of disturbance in the notary world.  Notaries feel that companies should be paying them, and not vice versa. 
 
Nations Direct
We have gotten many complaints about low-balling and micromanagement. One notary’s signing was interrupted by a phone call, where she was asked if she was using a blue pen.  On the other hand, it is prudent for a signing company who uses many newer notaries to call and check up on people. Obviously, many of the notaries they hired screwed up and ruined many loans which is the reason for all of the babysitting.  Please try to look at things from the signing company’s perspective. They are trying to get the job done.  Also see: Nations Direct has been around for more than a decade!
 
Nowclosings.com
Many notaries are claiming that this is one of the BEST signing companies they have ever worked for.

N3 Notary
A few notaries are complaining that company has badgered them too much during their signings. 

Pacific Document Services
Checks that they sent out have allegedly gotten LOST in the mail. One notary has filed an official complaint with the FBI to try to get this company shut down. Another notary received a check that BOUNCED.  This is one of the most serious cases I have seen all year!  The opinions expressed here are the opinions of particular notaries and not of 123notary.com.
  
Safir Signing Agents
Multiple notaries are complaining about no-pay and SLOW-PAY.
 
Service Link
This company has lowered their fees, and we have had many complaints from notaries about LOW-BALLING from this company.
 
Superior Closings
The people that run this company have been functioning under four different business names over the course of time.  They are reported to be out of business now.
 
The Notary Biz
Many notaries are discussing whether or not this company is still in business.  One notary had a discussion with the owner who claimed that they were no longer in business.
 
The R&R Group
Several notaries are complaining about non-payment, and one is owed $375 by this company
 
Trans State Services
Many notaries are really happy with this company.  Good working conditions and timely pay!
 
Vital Signings
This company has a good payment record, but many notaries are complaining that there are too many steps involved in the signing process and a lot of babysitting.

Tweets:
(1) Here is a list of companies that bounced checks, had FBI reports, or were notorious late payers to notaries!

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January 21, 2011

National Debt Direct

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 9:32 pm

Here is what Notaries are saying about this company. I rewrote some of the commentary to condense and simplify it.

(1) Abbondanza claims they used to be a good company to work for that paid within 30 days, but then got stiffed for seven jobs.

(2) esnotary was called to drive 50 miles for a last minute signing for a debt consolidation. They promised payment in 45-60 days but the notary bargained for 30 days. Later on the Notary found out that the guy who promised 30 days admitted to not having authority to get payment out that fast. People will say anything to get a Notary for a loan. So, they Notary feels lied to and will never work for Nationwide Debt Direct again!

(3) 17408 is still waiting for a payment done two and a half months before and is not happy.

(4) wponsot started with them in mid 2015 but stopped working for them because of a non-payment issue. The manager was completely unsympathetic when the Notary announced he had not been paid.

(5) 21008 claimed he/she had done three signings for them, but back in 2013 which got paid quickly. However, things seem to have changed in the meantime — at least for other Notaries.

This company’s reviews are typical of a good company gone sluggish in the payment department. I’ve seen this too many times which is why I will stress — don’t have faith in a company just because they have been reliable so far. You don’t know what stunts they will pull in the future which is why you should limit the credit you offer to companies. Once again, it is not bad to demand money up front as you are a Notary, and not a pawn shop.

You might also like:

Nationwide Debt Direct on the Forum
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6682

The 90 days no payment list of signing companies
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15887

Global Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16673

National Loan Closers
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16663

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Bad customers are a pain in the liver

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:17 pm

Honestly, after months of quizzing people and enduring endless hatred, and being bashed on the various forums, I feel sick. I am sick of Notaries who don’t care about what they do and don’t care how they abuse people. I am accused of being abusive when people drive me up the wall and then I lose my temper. It is not my fault that most of you cannot and will not act like professionals. It is not my fault that few of you can give professional answers to notary questions. You choose to not know your trade. Out of 100 Notaries, not one can correctly explain all major notary acts, not even one. How pathetic.

The upset feelings that ignorant Notaries have caused me has gone straight to my liver and manifested itself in health problems. My arms started feeling heavy. I started having breathing problems. I have decided to put more emphasis on walking, nature, and work less, and eliminate ice cream and wine from my diet for now.

I guess this is the way most Notaries are. There is no motivation for any to learn on their own above and beyond skimming over things, perhaps, on a good day. Nobody has been interested in getting Elite certified on their own in years. Our Elite members get a lot more business and they will continue to monopolize until the other Notaries get off their rear and study.

I have decided that I am going to wrap up the phone quizzing and stop doing it. People hate it and it is getting to my health. None of the Notaries do that well. None of them act like professionals. It is that some are less unprofessional than others. In this business, ALL Notaries should act like professionals and know all the answers to basic questions, but the reality is that only about 2% of Notaries on our site meet this description, and our site is one of the better sites, or the best site according to Carmen.

So, to save my liver, I am testing more by email. I will test by phone only if absolutely necessary because the amount of Notary hatred makes the KKK look like school girls. When I started my site I had no idea people were this horrible. But, back in 2004 when 123notary was really growing, we did not have any of this type of problems with people. We had mostly polite customers and only a few screwballs.

But, how can I ask Notaries to be professional when the industry no longer values acting properly and knowing what you are doing. The industry wants Notaries to be stupid so the signing companies can treat them like slaves by lowballing them. So, if you are happy being slaves, then fine. But, if you want to get paid well like Carmen who gets $200 average per signing, I suggest attaining mastery of the art of being a Notary Public. Idiots do not get paid $200. Idiots are lucky to get $60 and then don’t get paid on time or at all. My suggestion is to be disciplined and choose being 100% knowledgeable, not just knowing a scrambled version of half of what you are supposed to know. 100% knowledge is called being professional.

When I was a Notary I did not think of myself as anything special. But, I knew 97% of what I was supposed to know and I kick myself about the other 3%. The average Notary on 123notary is functioning at a 45% level. This is not acceptable, but the industry accepts it and I can’t find better. So, the 45 percenters win — I lose. I will have to accept this type of ignorance until the industry changes.

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I just got 2 jobs from 123notary, what do I do now?

Congratulations. Give yourself a pat on the back. Some people are lucky on 123notary and get a few jobs within hours or days of signing up. Others have to wait. A few don’t even track their calls, so they’ll know they got work, but won’t know where it is from. Metaphysically speaking, since you invested thought and action into creating a 123notary listing, you are much more likely to get business from it within a short time period after signing up. Additionally, those that pay for listings get more business because of the metaphysical commitment they made by paying. Those that edit their notes and information more often also get more business since they are paying attention and devoting their thought to it. Thought is the most powerful force in the universe, and it applies to 123notary as well.

So, what do you do now?
Add more to your notes section. Your notes section should evolve with you. As you learn new skills or get new certifications, enter that into your notes section. As your number of signings goes up, add that to your notes ase well. Get a few reviews from your satisfied clients as well. Reviews speak louder than words. Consider upgrading too. For advanced Notaries we have the Elite Certification program as well where you can learn the most sophisticated notary, signing agent and marketing techniques in the business. That’s all for now!

.

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How much more does a 123notary certified signer make?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15392

Here’s another way to make an extra $4000 per year
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14162

5 or 6 reviews doubles your business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8484

Long term Notary marketing plans
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15793

$40 for a signing 72 miles away?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14959

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What traits do escrow officers look for in Notaries?

Filed under: General Articles — Tags: — admin @ 11:34 am

Here are some things that Escrow officers look for in Notaries.

1. Document knowledge.
You should know your documents inside out and know where to find the rate, prepayment penalty information, 1st payment info, APR, how to date and initial the RTC, etc.

2. Form Filling
Many loans have forms to fill out. The borrower will do the actual filling out, but the Notary needs to know how to assist in this process if you want to get hired again.

3. Personal Knowledge
Many Escrow Officers prefer to hire a Notary who is personally known (rather than proven on the basis of satisfactory evidence) to them rather than hire a signing agency who hires strangers. For jobs that are far away from the Escrow office, they might be more willing to hire signing services.

4. Personable
Are you the type of person who can interact nicely with others? Or are you difficult to communicate with, rude, complain a lot, or avoid people?

5. Available
If you are not available, or are not reachable by phone that is a problem. Then there are others who answer the phone and refuse to talk who are also not doing well in terms of availability.

6. Back to Back signings
If a signer is willing and able to do one signing after another, that is a selling feature for escrow.

7. What about certification?
Certification is only as valuable as the knowledge that goes with it. Escrow officers want knowledge and reliability, not claims of knowledge and reliability. Elite 123notary Certification is popular with title & escrow. But, very few Notaries bother trying to get it.

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You might also like:

If you work for title companies directly, what do they want?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16110

Why you should consider getting 123notary Elite Certified
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20094

Elite certification will benefit you the rest of your life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20770

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MY BIG PHAT GEEK WEDDING

MY BIG PHAT GEEK WEDDING

For those who don’t know that “phat” is a funky way of saying “excellent,” now you do. Phat! (Next time your girlfriend asks, “Do I look phat in this?” tell her yes!) And geeks are excellent too. We’re all computer geeks now. Those of us who aren’t need a computer geek. This is the short story of the marriage of two very specific subsets of geeks – Notary geeks.

Notary geeks live and breathe all things notaries. And when two such geeks find each other, it could be time to relay each other’s seals of approval, whose terms expire when death do they part. Plus they’ll never cheat on each other, because rather than swear at meddling relatives, these two swear to take an oath. When your promise to be faithful is under oath, it makes for a lot less cheating later on. In “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” breaking plates created pandemonium. In “My Big Phat Geek Wedding,” it’s breaking oaths.

Rather than look forward to the “deed” come the honeymoon night, our geeks look forward to overseeing a document by which a relative transfers property… the “deed.” Rather than using Windex on every ill from psoriasis to poison ivy, our geeks consider such a thing “malfeasance.”

Finally, unlike “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” our geeks aren’t planning a lame sequel, “My Big Phat Geek Wedding 2.” Unless you call an “attested copy,” a copy of an original document, lame. Or a sequel.

Phat chance!

Short of a sequel, our story took a dramatic turn when, at the Big Fat Greek wedding when Sheldon and Raj from “Big Bang Theory” showed up…

Sheldon: “We’re here!”

Raj: “What’s with all the souvlaki?”

Sheldon: “I thought this was a geek wedding, not a Greek wedding.”

Raj: “I guess we misread the invitation.”

You might also like:

Can a Notary perform a wedding?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1891

Seinfeld: George’s parents get a vow renewal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15132

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Big Bang Theory: Notarizing a discovery about string theory

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 11:06 am

RAJ: We have to get our latest discovery notarized.

SHELDON: How can you notarize a discovery?

LEONARD: Well, perhaps we should patent it at least. To be on the safe side.

RAJ: Yeah, there are people out there who steal inventions all the time.

SHELDON: Our’s hasn’t even been thoroughly tested. And it is so complicated that even we don’t understand it. So, how is a patent thief supposed to understand it?

RAJ: I was so paranoid I didn’t think that part over. But, our “lost electron syndrome” discovery is so critical, maybe to be safe.

PENNY: Oh, I’m sure your electron will show up somewhere. They always do.

SHELDON: Penny, I don’t know if you realize how important our discovery is. We’ve been reading for decades about how Newtonian Physics has been questioned, and how matter can really be created and destroyed. However, very few physicists have actually seen actual matter disappear, especially under the circumstances that we did. We added emotion to our physics experiment. We played happy music and started dancing around the room all joyfully. And an electron disappeared. I counted them — I know.

PENNY: You counted electrons? I should try that!

RAJ: Yeah, I think she should. It’s a good idea. I do that sometimes when I’m bored, or want to practice my powers of observation. I’m calling the Notary… (ring ring)

NOTARY: Arnie’s Notary, Arnie speaking, may I help you?

RAJ: Hello Arnie. You see, we have this discovery we need notarized. How do we exactly get this done?

NOTARY: You need a statement and an ID. The statement is up to you. It must be written up, and include the name of the signer in it if you require an Acknowledged signature. Or you can do a sworn Oath with a Jurat statement. It’s up to you.

RAJ: Either way. I’ll type one up now.

(10 minutes later)

RAJ: Hello Mr. Arnie. Yes, I typed up the document about the discovery. I would like us all to sign it, so I included all of our three names in the text of the document and also in the signature area. And, yes, we all have ID’s, although we seem to be missing an electron.

NOTARY: Oh, no wonder. The funniest thing happened to me yesterday. After a busy day of notarizing, I was watching TV, and you’d never believe what happened?

RAJ: So tell me?

NOTARY: An electron just showed up out of nowhere.

RAJ: Nowhere? An electron. Hold on. Let me get Sheldon. He says he was watching TV and an electron appeared out of nowhere.

SHELDON: Well, do you think it was our electron?

RAJ: How can you tell one electron from another?

NOTARY: Well, I asked the electron for identication just like I do with everyone else. But, it just whizzed around. To me they all look the same.

LEON: Fascinating. That might be our electron.

RAJ: Maybe we should put up a flyer in the halls saying, “Lost electron. Reward if found.”

NOTARY: Before you do that, I’ll be down at your lab to notarize your statement. $30 travel fee and $10 per signature. Cash only! Pay the travel fee up front just in case your ID’s are missing just like your marble.. I mean your electrons.

SHELDON: Oh, one more thing. We’ll have to put you in a bio-hazard suit before entering the lab.

NOTARY: My fee schedule specifically mentions that I charge $5 extra for each time I put on a bio-hazard outfit, but removal is at no cost as a courtesy to the client.

SHELDON: Deal.

PENNY: Oh, this is so exciting. Can I put on a bio-hazard suit too?

LEON: I don’t think they come in matching colors.

PENNY: Then never mind.

.

You might also like:

Big Bang Theory: Feeling in control Notarizing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15150

The Middle: Sue calls a Notary about an Occupancy Affidavit
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=the-middle

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Notary Pick Up Lines Part 2

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 10:40 am

This one was written by a guest blogger.
It is rated (R), so if you are tight on morality, please skip on to the next one!

You get my stamp of approval that’ll never expire.

Lien on me, baby.

After impressing my notary seal to this document, I’d rather impress you.

How ‘bout affix-up? (or… How ‘bout an affix-up?)

Let’s talk dirty and swear under oath.

What do you say we change the venue to my place?

If you look at another notary’s writs, I’ll get subpoenas-envy.

Is that an embosser in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? (off the old come-on first made famous by Mae West that’s lived ever since, “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”)

After acknowledging you signed a document, feel like acknowledging my existence?

While you certify that date, how ‘bout certifying our date?

I affirm under penalty of law you’re hot.

Why bear witness to documents when we can bear each other’s souls?

It’s a crime if you don’t go out with me, punishable by the death of my social life.

Forget power of attorney. Right now I’m thinking about the power of that blouse (you’re wearing).

Come witness our initials in that tree.

There’s no statute of limitation to how much I want you (right now).

Hi. If I’m bothering you, it’s just a duress rehearsal.

(some slightly edgier ones…)

After you sign the deed, how ‘bout we do that other deed? (the proverbial “dirty deed” as in screw.)

This is just my notary public façade. Wait till you see my privates.

I’m state-approved. Care for a drink? I’m also state of intoxication-approved.

Are you as loose as that certificate? (re: “loose certificate”)

My seal isn’t the only thing that’s raised right now.

.

You might also like:

But, I’m still a virgin!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14915

Notary Pick Up Lines Part 1
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9851

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How many years is a Notary commission good for?

How long does a notary commission last? How many years is my notary commission good for? How many years is my term of office as a notary public?

The answer is that it varies from state to state.

An Alabama Notary commission is good for 4 years

An Arizona notary commission is good for 4 years

Arkansas notaries are commissioned for 10 years.
A California notary commission is good for 4 years.

A Colorado Notary commission is good for 4 years
A Florida notary commission is good for 4 years
An Illinois notary commission is good for 4 years

Louisiana notaries are commissioned for life and have the hardest training program of any state.

A New Jersey Notary Commission is good for 5 years
A Pennsylvania notary commission is good for 4 years
A Texas notary commission is good for 4 years
A Washington state notary commission is good for 4 years

But, some states have an unusually short term of office for notaries like Delaware which is only a 2 year term of office.

Some states have a short term of office, while others have a longer one.
The majority of states have a four year term, but a few have a five, six, seven, or even longer term.

Our forum article below covers even more states and their lengths of notary terms of office.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3955

Penalties for notary misconduct, fraud and failure of duty
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

How much does a Notary cost in 2019?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21308

Notary Public general information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20075

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