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February 21, 2012

All you need to know about notary work

Filed under: Public Interest — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 7:56 am

All you need to know about notary work 

There is a lot to know about notary work.  You should visit your state’s notary division website to learn what they want you to know about your state’s notary laws. Regardless of what state you are in, you need to know:
 
Who can become a notary?
Generally state residents who are 18 or older who don’t have a felony conviction or misdemeanor involving dishonesty.  Some states allow residents of neighboring states to apply to be a notary as well.
 
What is the application process to become a notary?
Some states have online applications, while others require you to mail it in. Each state has a different application fee. Check your state’s notary division website for more information
 
What is the procedure to get my official notary seal (notary stamp)?
Most states require the use of a notarial seal, but some states have authorization forms to get your seal.
 
How do I get my notary commission paperwork?
Most states will mail this to you.  Many states require you to file an Oath and Bond at a county recorder’s office, or some other government office in your area.

 Do I need to be bonded to be a notary?
Refer to your state’s notary division website for information
 
What notary acts do I need to know about?
Most states allow notaries to perform notarial acts such as:Acknowledgments, Jurats, Affirmations, Oaths, and Protests.  Some states allow copy certifications for particular documents, and there are other types of notary acts as well that are particular to certain states. Please read your state’s notary division website to learn the details.

 Do I need to keep a journal of notarial acts?
Most states require a journal, but even if they don’t, you should keep a journal for your records in case you are called into court.  A well maintained journal is evidence that can be used in court, or keep you out of court.  You will not remember someone you notarized five years ago, so keep good notes in your journal if something strange happens at the notarization.
 
How do I identify signers?
Generally, a current drivers’s license, state identification card, or password will do.  The ID should be a current government issued photo-ID with a physical description, signature, serial number, and expiration date.  Other forms of identification might be allowed, so please visit your state’s notary division website to learn the details of your state’s rules
 
Attaching certificates.
Notary acts such as Jurats and Acknowledgments require notarial paperwork to accompany the act.  Oaths often do not require a certificate though. Notary certificates come in pads, and you simply fill out the certificate with information about the document and the signer, the date you notarized the document and a few other pieces of information — then you stamp the certificate paper, and staple it to the document.  The document itself might have the certificate on it which means that you do not have to attach a loose certificate.
 
What else do I need to know?
You could learn about how to use credible witnesses, signature by mark, and other types of notary procedures.  You should learn how to take journal thumbprints for your security in identifying potential frauds.  Become an expert on your state notary handbook (if your state has one).  You are responsible for all laws pertaining to notaries in your state.
 
Can a notary notarize outside of their state?
There are some weird exceptions in two states, but as a general rule, you are not authorized to perform notary acts outside of your state boundaries.  If you live near a border, consider getting commissioned in the neighboring state if that state will allow it.
 
How long is a notary term?
Notary terms can range from three years to life, however, the majority of states have a four or five year notary commission term.
 
How do I make money as a notary?
Become a mobile notary, get a loan signing course from 123notary.com, and advertise on our site to get business as a loan signer and mobile notary if your state allows loan signing!

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Notary Public 101
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Penalties for Notary misdeeds & misconduct
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2067

How to get something notarized if you don’t have ID
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4692

Where do credible witnesses sign the notary journal?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2508

Sending loose certificates is illegal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2470

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February 6, 2012

Fraud & Forgery related to the notary profession

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 9:45 am

Fraud and Forgery in the notary business 

There are many types of fraud that a notary might run into in their notarial career, forgery being one of the more common types of fraud. But, let’s take a closer look at what specific types of things could happen.
 
(1) Someone could forge your seal and pretend to be you.  It happened to me.  Unfortunately for them, they didn’t forge my signature very well, and didn’t copy my style of embossing every page either.  Putting technicalities aside, I bet they were not able to forge my quirky sense of humor either.  Notary seal forgery is not common. In my case, I think they used a really good photocopier.  BTW, a photocopier can NOT copy the RAISED impression of an inkless embossed seal which is why I used it on all of my notarizations.
 
(2) Page swapping — the old bait and switch routine.  I got called to notarize many multi-page documents. I put my embossing seal through all of the pages leaving a raised impression on each page.  I usually did these individually. Sometimes it is better to do all pages together so the seal goes through the same location in each page.  However, the seal comes out more clearly if you go page by page.  In any case, if you see a ten page document where all of the pages EXCEPT for page four are embossed, that would raise my eyebrows.  I have had many situations, where the signer wants me to give them another acknowledgment certificate for a new page they are adding to the document. I tell them that I have to notarize their signature ALL OVER AGAIN, and that is the law no matter how many times you say, “Oh, come on”.  With that attitude you might as well notarize your own signature as a non-notary!
 
(3) Title companies have a common practice of initialing for the borrower if the borrower misses an initial. It is “easier” than sending the documents back to the borrower.  Whether it is signature forgery to forge initials is a matter for an attorney to decide, but it seems pretty illegal to me to engage in initial forgery. I don’t think that anyone audits loan documents to see if anyone is engaging in initial forgery, but perhaps they should — many Title companies might get busted or investigated at a minimum.
 
(4) Refusal to be thumbprinted?  You must be up to something if you don’t want your thumbprint recorded. Maybe you have a fake identification card, right?  You can fake an ID, but you can not fake a thumbprint.
 
(5) Signature forgery.  If someone forged a signature on a document, they will have to have a fake ID and forge the same signature on the ID and in your journal. It would be a tough crime to pull off. I think that nobody in their right mind would attempt this.  Normally, people try to do crimes of fraud in private, and wouldn’t be willing to let other parties see what they are doing, no matter what!
 
(6) Notarizing out of state?  If you don’t have a commission in a particular state, you can not notarize there, with a few exceptions. Military notaries have special rules. A Virginia notary public may notarize out of the state of Virginia, but only for documents that are to be recorded within the state of Virginia. In any case, from time to time we will hear rumors that a notary public is operating illegally in a bordering state where they are not commissioned, and people want us to enforce the rule. I tell them to report the individual to the state notary division where the Notary in question is commissioned.
 
(7) Charging more than the state maximum notary fees is illegal, and charging more travel fee than your state allows (roughly eight states have restrictions for travel fees) can get you in trouble too.
 
(8) Filling out an Acknowledgment or Jurat form when you never saw the signer and never had the signer sign your journal is a really serious act of notarial misconduct.  You can lose your commission and get fined or jailed for this.

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http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21423

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http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

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November 14, 2011

Power of Attorney Signings

Filed under: Power of Attorney,SEO,Technical & Legal,Ultra-Popular — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 3:58 pm

Power of Attorney Notary Signings
 
It is common for notaries to get a job notarizing a signature of a grantor on a power of attorney document.  It is also common for a signer who is the attorney in fact to sign documents in their official capacity as an attorney in fact.  The problems is that most notaries haven’t a clue how to handle this type of common, yet critical situation. 
 
Types of powers of attorneys
First of all, as a notary public, you are not required to understand the contents of the document.  For an acknowledged signature, the signer should be named in the document and should sign it.  Other than that, you just need to be sure the signer understands the document, and you shouldn’t have any indication that the document is fraudulent (how would you know anyway?).  Their are banking powers of attorney, durable powers of attorney, health care powers of attorney, and living trusts which are a sort of power of attorney. There are other types too, but these are the most common ones.
 
What does a notary need to know about powers of attorney?
You need to know who a grantor and grantee is.  You need to know who an attorney in fact is (= the grantee).  You need to know how the attorney in fact signs a document.  You need to know that California notaries must take journal thumbprints when notarizing signatures on powers of attorney.
 
 
Is the form I am using acceptable?
Notaries may NOT recommend particular power of attorney forms, nor should they assist in filling them out.  The notary should look for blanks, and refuse to notarize if there are any blanks in the document.  It is not a crime for a notary to have blank standardized power of attorney forms in their briefcase, so long as they make it clear that they are not giving legal advice and not recommending the use of those forms.  You might tell the client that they should check with the document custodian (whomever they are submitting the documents to), to see what type of paperwork they will accept.  What is legal, and what is acceptable to the recipient are often two different things.
 
Banking power of attorney
Most banks have their own power of attorney form which is on card stock and leaves about half an inch to squeeze your two and a half inch wide notary seal (how educated of them!).  If asked to notarize a banking power of attorney, just do what the client asks within the limits of the law, but for your knowledge, you should be aware that the bank may not accept a power of attorney that they didn’t draft and that the client might be advised to check with the bank before doing any business with a notary public. 
 
How does an attorney in fact sign?
The person who has been granted special powers from a power of attorney is the grantee or attorney in fact.  They can sign in two ways that I am aware of.  If the grantor is John Doe, and the attorney in fact is Sally Smith, here is how Sally signs on behalf of John.
(1)  John Doe, by Sally Smith, his attorney in fact
(2) Sally Smith, as attorney in fact for John Doe
 
Power of attorney documents at a loan signing
Whether or not the loan will be accepted is hard to say.  However, many lenders will require a copy of the power of attorney to accompany the documents. 
 
Acknowledgment Forms
Some acknowledgment forms allow the notary to identify the capacity of the signer.  One of the standard check boxes on an acknowledgment certificate form is for attorney in fact, and other corporate offices are sometimes mentioned as well.

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Notarizing Documents for the Elderly
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3334

Notarized Affidavits Information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1963

Bank of America Power of Attorney Form
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21327

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February 20, 2011

A Seinfeld Episode about a Notary

Filed under: Sit-Coms — admin @ 12:26 am

Jerry – Hey George, lets go get a bite to eat down the street.
George – Hey Jerry, I’d love to, but I have to go.
Jerry – Why? What’s the rush?
George – Ah… I gotta get something notarized.
Jerry – Notarized? Wow, that sounds important.
George – Oh, it’s nothing really, just some stuff for work…. I do it all the time.
Jerry – Work? You don’t have a job.
George – Well, I sort of do now. Gotta go.

———————————-
George – Hi, I brought the document…. and my ID. Here it is.
Notary – Great George, you’ve finally got your act together, no spending half an hour fumbling through your briefcase anymore.
George – Well, you live and you learn, hah!!!
Notary – So what kind of document do you have today?
George – It’s an affidavit that I agree to do some deliveries for my employer.
Notary – Deliveries, you’re moving up in the world.
( notary opens his journal )
George – Hey, what’s that, you notarized a document in Chinese? You don’t understand Chinese.
Notary – I can do that … hey! Why are you looking at my journal, you’re violating MY privacy. Do you mind?
George – Sorry, it’s just that you opened it and I couldn’t help noticing. It was in my “range of vision”, right?
Notary – Okay, please sign the document. Please raise your right hand. Higher… that’s good. Do you solemnly swear that you agree to the statement in this document?
George – I do.
Notary – Okay, here’s your Jurat.. Let me staple it.
George – Ummm… could you use the round seal.. I was just thinking.
Notary – This is the seal I use, okay? Hey, whose business is this anyway?
George – Okay… but, could you thumbprint me?
Notary – Thumbprint?
George – Yeah, you know… a journal thumbprint. I heard that was supposed to be good. You know.. Deter fraud.
Notary – I’m sorry, but you’re not… thumbprintworthy.
George – What? Not thumbprintworthy?
Notary – It’s running low on ink. I only have a dozen or so impressions left in the pad, I’m SAVING it for a Deed or something important.
George – Hey, I have people who can vouch for me. I’m thumbprintworthy baby!
( George calls Elaine )
George – Elaine – I’m at the notary, and I want him to thumbprint me, but he says I’m not thumbprintworthy?
Elaine – What? Not thumbprintworthy? I would thumbprint you any day. In fact. You are as thumbprintworthy as they come. Give the notary the phone…… Hello? Mr. Notary? I formally vouch for George — he is the most thumbprintworhty person that exists.
Notary – You and your friend are a lot of trouble. George — You’re BANNED!!!
George – Banned? You can’t ban me, you’re a PUBLIC notary, you are obligated to serve the public
Notary – How do you know that? Public Schmublic. You’re banned from my services. Pay me my fee…thats $10.. and get out!
George – Hey, look out the window!
Notary – What?
( George SWIPES the thumbprinter and leaves while the notary is looking out the window )
————————————————————————–
Kramer – Clarissa, Clarissa, how can I describe my love .. for you… oh… Clarissa.
Clarissa – I told you before, I don’t date guys from Brooklyn.
Kramer – But, wait a second, you think I’m from Brooklyn. No, no… you’ve got it all wrong. I’m from Manhattan. I just hang out at
a friend’s house there. He lets me use the house while he’s away. He gave me key privileges.
Clarissa – You expect me to believe that? Key priveleges. Nobody gives their key to anyone in New York, not even their own parents.
Kramer – Oh,… he gave me the key. My friends are like that. Look, I even have Jerry’s key. I go over there whenever I feel like it. You see, Jerry and I… we understand each other. And he’s cool about it too. He doesn’t even mind if I eat his FRITOS once in a while.
( phone rings )
Jerry – Hey Kramer
Kramer – Hi Jerry, how’s everything? I’m with Clarissa now.
Jerry – Oh…. Clarissa. I remember her (unenthusiastically). Hey, by any chance, you didn’t happen to have eaten any of my FRITOS, did you?
Kramer – Fritos, oh, yeah, I didn’t know you needed them.
Jerry – If I didn’t need them I wouldn’t buy them. You’re violating your key privileges. Keep this up. and I’ll de-key you.
Kramer – No… not that. I need my key.
Jerry – Well, I’m going to have to draw up a “covenant of the key.”
Kramer – A covenant? Nobody does that.
Jerry – They do now. Keep this up, and you will be in violation of … the covenant of the key!!!
( Jerry hangs up )
Kramer – Clarissa, Clarissa, what can I do to win your love.
Clarissa – Okay, you seem like a nice guy, so I’ll give you one chance. Get me a notarized affidavit stating that you live in Manhattan and give me your address. I’m leaving at 7pm for France, so get it to me by then!
Kramer – Anything for you.. my Clarissa.
————————————————————————————–
( Kramer calls George up.)
Kramer – George, you gotta help me. I’m in trouble, It’s urgent.
George – What, are you having appendicitis or something?
Kramer – No, its not a health emergency, its a … a LOVE emergency.
George – Oh… Love.
Kramer – Clarissa wants an affidavit saying that I live in Manhattan. She doesn’t believe me. You know that notary guy on the West side, right?
George – Oh, yeah, yeah.. But, um.
Kramer – What?
George – There’s a small problem.
Kramer – What?
George – I’ve been banned.
Kramer – Banned? No, you can’t be banned. You can’t be banned by a notary.
George – Oh yes, I’ve been banned.
Kramer – Well, he doesn’t know me, you gotta help me.
George – Okay, I’ll give you his number. But it’s 4pm now and he leaves at 5pm.
Kramer – I need to get it to Clarissa by 7pm… It’s … an emergency!
George – Okay … here’s the number. Call him now and make an appointment.
Kramer – Thanks … you’re wonderful.
——————————————————————–
( George drives Kramer to the appointment because there is no parking there )
Kramer – Hello, are you the notary?
Notary – Yeah, how did you hear about me?
Kramer – Oh, the yellow pages.
Notary – Yellow pages, eh.. Well I don’t advertise in the yellow pages. Only by word of mouth.
Kramer – Oh, maybe it’s the OTHER notary I found in the yellow pages.
Notary – Alright wise guy, what do you want?
Kramer – I need an affidavit notarized. Can you squeeze me in?
Notary – Okay. Be here at 4:15.
Kramer – Okay
——————————————————————-
(kramer arrives at the notary office)
Kramer – Hi, I’m Kramer
Notary – Paul…. let me see your ID.
Kramer – ID? I don’t think I brought it with me.
Notary – No ID, no notary, pal…
Kramer – Hold on, I think I left it in the car.
Notary – You got a parking place here? You must be a genius. Where did you park?
Kramer – I got lucky, I guess.
( Kramer runs down the stairs and comes back huffing and puffing with the ID )
Notary – I looked out the window. You didn’t park. You’re WITH someone.
Kramer – Oh, that’s just a friend.
Notary – Okay. Where’s the document
Kramer – Here it is.
Notary – An affidavit swearing that you live in Manhattan. What kind of a nut would want you to sign this?
Kramer – Oh, she’s a nut alright. You should see her.
Notary – I’ll pass.
Kramer – Hey, by the way, my friend usually has this done with a circular seal, do you have one?
Notary- (thinking out loud) Circular seal, didn’t the guy yesterday ask me for that?
Kramer – Oh, and could you … thumbprint me? I want it to look official.
Notary – Thumbprint? and circular seal, that sounds just like the last guy… WHO GOT BANNED! George was his name. It’s right here on the previous page. George Costanza. You know George.
Kramer – No really, I don’t know him.
Notary – Yes you do… He’s the one waiting for you in the car.
Kramer – No he’s not.
Notary – I’m going down, I want to see for myself.
( Kramer and notary go downstairs )
( Kramer motions to George to go and makes a motion near his throat )
( George shrugs his shoulders in confusion – then George sees the notary and bolts )
Notary – So it is George.
Kramer – I don’t know who that is. You didn’t even see him
( Kramer’s phone rings – the notary grabs the phone )
George – Kramer, he saw me.
Notary – AHA! It’s me. You’re the guy that got banned.. Well now your friend is banned too!
Notary – and YOU took my thumbprinter, it’s been missing ever since you were here last. Give it back!
Kramer – No… no…now what am I going to do.

——————————————————————————-
( Kramer and George drive off )
Kramer – Now what am I going to do. It’s 5pm and everyone is closed. Do you know any late night notaries?
George – Yeah, but you’re not going to like this. He’s in Brooklyn.
Kramer – That doesn’t matter.
George – Okay, let’s go.
—————————————————————————-
Brooklyn Notary – Hi-ya fellows. How’s everything?
Kramer – Its been a long day.
Brooklyn Notary – Why? What happened?
Kramer – What didn’t happen? Listen I need this form notarized. You wouldn’t happen to have a thumbprinter, would you?
Brooklyn Notary – Well, actually, mine just ran out of ink. I got a bit carried away, and used it on people who were not… well you know.
George – Say it, say it…. thumbprintworthy.
Brooklyn Notary – Well, I never thought of it like that.
George – You would never believe this, but I happen to have .. a thumbprinter!
Brooklyn Notary – where did you get this?
George – From a friend.
Brooklyn Notary – Great. Just give me the document.
Kramer – Here’s my ID.
Brooklyn Notary – It’s okay, I know your friend, that’s good enough for me.
Kramer – But, the law… you gotta have an ID.. I want this to be legit!
Brooklyn Notary – yeah yeah sure sure. I’ll put this all in the journal.
Kramer – Can you do the thumbprint now?
Brooklyn Notary – Sure… Here you go. Your Jurat … Notarized and all.
Kramer – How can I ever thank you.
Brooklyn Notary – It’s nothing.
———————————————————————————-
( Kramer and George drive back over the bridge, battling traffic, and make it to Clarissa’s house by 6:55 )
Kramer – Clarissa, my love. Here it is.
Clarissa – Oh, I’m so touched, so you really do love me!
Kramer – You don’t know what I had to do to get this.
Clarissa – Oh Kramer, I ….. LOVE ….. ( she glances at the document )
Clarissa – KINGS County?… wait a second. If you live in Manhattan, why would you get it notarized in Kings County? That’s Brooklyn.
Kramer – It says Kings County on it?
George – Yeah, you see, this is the Venue, and on the Venue it says Kings County. That just means where it got done. It doesn’t matter. You live in Manhattan.
Clarissa – We’re through. I’m leaving. I’ll send you a postcard from Paris.
Clarissa – Hasta la Au Revoir – Baby
————————————————————————————
Kramer – No, no, no…. it’s all because you got banned. How did you? .. Oh…It’s the thumbprinter. He banned you because you took his thumbprinter.
George – No Kramer, that happened after he banned me. I swiped it while he wasn’t looking.
Kramer – No, it’s the thumbpriner, you got us all in trouble.
Kramer – I have an idea. You can give it back to him and get him a new one, then he’ll be back on good terms with you.
George – You’re crazy.
Kramer – I insist. I need a good notary in Manhattan. He’s close. You gotta do it.
———————————————————————————
( George and Kramer go buy a thumb printer and go back to the Notary – he is there late at the office )
George – I just wanted to say… I’m sorry. This thumb printer somehow got shuffled up with my stuff and I didn’t even realize… Silly me.
Notary – My thumbprinter, it’s back…. I needed you…. Oh thank you..HOW COULD YOU!
George – It was an accident.
Notary – And you contaminated it with your germs. Now it’s tainted.
George – Now wait a minute, it’s a thumbprinter, its job is to be touched by OTHER PEOPLE’s Thumbs.
Notary – You used it, didn’t you.
George – Listen, we felt so bad, we went all the way to an office supply store and got you a brand new one.
Notary – Thank you… I’m touched…
George – Now can you notarize my friend. I’ll pay you double
Notary – Sure, come by any time.
( The Notary notarizes Kramer with the rectangular seal… not the circular one… and thumbprints him )
Kramer – Thank you so much…. Now my document is legit and has New York County on the venue. Clarissa will come back to me… My Clarissa.
————————————————————-
( Kramer and George leave )
Notary – That’s funny, the ink doesn’t come off. I must have gotten some ink on my thumb when I thumbprinted Kramer. And it got on my shirt. My shirt is ruined. And it’s on my table too.
—————————————————————-
(Kramer calls Clarissa… she is at the airport and her flight delayed.)
Kramer – Clarissa, I got it renotarized by a notary in New York County in Manhattan in my neighborhood.
Clarissa – I’m still at the airport, I’ll be here until 11. Get it to me.
Kramer – Okay.
(Kramer and George drive to the airport and get there at 9pm.)
Kramer – Here it is. Notarized in Manhattan. West 88th Street!
Clarissa – Wow, you really do love me. I will date you after all. Give me a hug.
( Kramer and Clarissa hug good by )
Clarissa – I’ll see you when I get back.
——————————————————————
( the plane takes off. Clarissa goes to the bathroom and comes back )
Clarissa – Hm, thats funny, there is ink on the back of my chair. Do you see ink?
Flight attendant – Hm, that does look like ink. Have you been thumbprinted recently?
Clarissa – No, why would I be thumbprinted?
Flight attendant – You know, when you go to a notary. You get thumbprinted. You must have forgotten to wash off the ink.
Clarissa – I was never notarized…. wait a second…. When Kramer hugged me, he put his thumbs on the back of my blouse and that got on the chair. Does my blouse have ink on it?
Flight attendant – Yes it does. You’ll have to bleach that a few times.
Clarissa – No!!!
( Clarissa gets to Paris and calls Kramer )
Clarissa – Nous sommes finit!!! We are over!!!
Kramer – What????

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January 30, 2011

Two and a half notaries: impaired judgement

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 11:43 am

DISCLAIMER: This skit has references which many people might find inappropriate. Readers should be at least thirteen years of age and of unsound mind to read this article!

ALAN: I’m doing a notarization this evening!

BERTA: You’re still doing that? But, you have a career, why do you need to do that?

ALAN: Well, maybe I like notarizing things. I find it therapeutic.

CHARLIE: Well, if you think that’s therapeutic, then you’re nuts — so that should work out quite nicely

ALAN: I enjoy the art of affixing my seal; somehow makes me feel in control over the universe.

CHARLIE: You’re drinking vodka? You shouldn’t drink before a notarization because that could impair your judgement.

ALAN: Oh, its not for me, it’s for the signers.

CHARLIE: Oh, well in that case, even I would feel that it was therapeutic, assuming I had any feeling in my fingers after ingesting all of that vodka.

BERTA: Well, how much extra do you get by having these signers sign something that they shouldn’t after their judgement has been impaired?

ALAN: This signing is actually for a lesbian couple. I’m hoping that the vodka will impair their judgement after the signing. Since I drove my wife to lesbianism, I’m kind of hoping that I can do the same thing with these signers — but, in reverse.

JAKE: (grabbing the bottle of vodka and looking at it) Can you teach me how to be a notary too?

ALAN: You were not intended to hear this conversation

JAKE: Oh, I didn’t hear much. But, I was just thinking. Today in school, we learned about a financial product called a reverse mortgage. And to sign that type of loan, it is called a reverse signing. That might come in handy with those two chicks you’re working on.

CHARLIE: Why don’t you reverse yourself out of here. (to Alan) That kid’s a pain, but he’s right!

BERTA: After half a bottle of that Stolichnaya, maybe they’ll think they’re signing a double mortgage — at least they’ll be seeing double!

JAKE: (comes back in the room) Maybe they’ll pay you double

CHARLIE: Or maybe they’ll give you double trouble — until they pass out!

(Alan drives to the signing)

ROBIN: Thanks for coming. I have my Affidavit of Domicile right here.

ALAN: Oh, I thought we were doing a loan signing.

ROBIN: No, we’re going to do that next week. We just wanted to get this one done as soon as we could.

ALAN: Okay. I brought a little vodka.

CHRIS: Oh, thanks. You can just put that in the cabinet up there.

ALAN: Oh. Okay.

ROBIN: Do we sign here?

ALAN: Yeah… but, I was thinking. You don’t want to toast to your domicile bliss?

ROBIN: Oh no, we’re just living with each other for tax purposes.

BOYFRIEND: Oh, you brought vodka? Oh, that ‘s an expensive brand. Thanks dude, that was so cool and considerate of you!

ALAN: Oh, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. I thought you guys were…

CHRIS: You thought we were lesbian? Oh!

BOYFRIEND: That’s what I thought at first too. Ironically, that’s what attracted me to them.

ALAN: (taking notes) So, how’d you get them to switch? Did you buy them a bottle of vodka.

BOYFRIEND: Kind of. But, I bought them a cheap Smirnoff. To me, I took is as kind of a challenge. I didn’t find out until afterwards that they were straight. I poured them some vodka and said — straight or on the rocks. She said she was straight, but that her relationship was on the rocks.

ALAN: Oh well, let’s get this notarization over. Here’s my card in case you need anything notarized in the future.

BOYFRIEND: Thanks dude, and no hard feelings.

CHRIS: Why don’t you give him his bottle back. It’s the least we can do for leading him on.

ROBIN: I think it was my inadvertent comment about the three-way notarization. I shouldn’t have said that, but I was tipsy. See what alcohol can do?

BOYFRIEND: Here’s your vodka dude, and thanks for everything.

ALAN: Thanks, I guess.

(Alan drives back — a squad car pulls him over)

ALAN: Hello officer, was I speeding?

OFFICER: No, but there is a “Have Seal Will Travel” sticker blocking your left turn signal.

ALAN: Oh brother.. I think my kid Jake must have been trying to help me out with my business. I didn’t see it on there. I asked him to put it on the side of my car.

OFFICER: Maybe you should pay more attention to what you’re doing, and what your son is doing. Is that an open bottle of Vodka on the front passenger mat?

ALAN: Oh boy. It was a gift for my client, but they didn’t want it. So, I’m taking it home.

OFFICER: You’re under a rest.

(Meanwhile in the slammer. The police have mercy on Alan. They figure he’ll get pulverized in the men’s holding cell, so they put him in with the women. Two four-hundred pound biker-chicks have pity on him, and the rest is history.)

BUTTERCUP: I heard all about your little tragedy from the guards, and all I can say is that I am so sorry.

HARLEY: Me too. So, what’s a notarization?

BUTTERCUP: And do you happen to have any more vodka on you?

ALAN: As a matter of fact, I have several mini-bottles in my coat pocket right here.

(We’ll leave the rest to your imagination)

(Four hours later)

CHARLIE: I’m here to bail you out

ALAN: It was incredible.

CHARLIE: What have you been smoking?

ALAN: That was the best signing I ever had.

CHARLIE: (looking at the mini-bottles) Wow, I need to start drinking this stuff.

ALAN: Robin and Chris were great. I’m going to call them when I (passes out)

(Charlie carries him home)

.

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Two and a half Notaries: Intercontinental Notary Seal
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January 20, 2011

Notary Industry Standards According to Ken

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , — admin @ 11:24 am

“It’s an Industry Standard”, sayeth Suppository Signing Service (SSS) when insisting that I accept payment on the 45th workday after the next lunar eclipse. Usually the “defense/attack” of industry standard is used to support an unfair/immoral situation; one that most likely will be “going away soon”. Slavery was an industry standard. Women not having the right to vote was an industry standard. The inclusion of cocaine in Coca Cola was an industry standard. I am sure you can add many currently unjust and destined to disappear practices to the list.

Just who decides what “Industry Standards” are? That’s simple – those (currently) in Power. They are saying that “it should be because it is”. Really? Change for the better is the history of and most basic philosophy of our great nation. Twelve year old children working 14 hour days in coal mines was an industry standard. IS (Industry Standards) change all the time. Unjust laws are changed, oppressed workers form unions, and civil/lawful peaceful protest leads to abolishing IS.

Thus, when SSS wants to “stick me” with their IS; I tell them that their IS statement is obsolete. The current IS is paying via PayPal “up front”. That is MY IS and they can “self administer” their assignment if they are “sticking” to their outdated concept of notary payment IS.

The issue is bigger than just payment. There is an outdated IS perception of the notary as being a “dumping ground” for various tasks. The IS of loading the doc with endless pages of survey, un-necessary FAX requests (not immediate funding, eg: package has 3 day recession), baby monitor calling; the list is practically endless. We are an industry, notaries are the first line of defense against fraud; our task is honorable and necessary. The vast majorities of us are highly skilled and know an Ack from a Venue. The IS of treating us like fools is coming to an abrupt end.

There are many ways to “bounce back” an IS attack. Ask precisely where that IS is codified. Yup, it’s only in the speaker’s mind; because that is the way they would like things to be. You don’t have to accept their IS – TELL THEM YOURS. I have had condescending calls from SSS telling me “you must accept our terms” – really? Not me. And, I sincerely hope the same will be true of you.

The IS statement is just a lot of hot air, being blown in your direction. Why? Because often that tactic works. Many don’t like to “stand out” and wish to swim with the school and fly with the flock. But when that school is heading toward the fisherman nets, when the flock is coming within shotgun range of the hunters – it’s time to change course. Their IS puts all the advantages on their side. You are playing poker with your cards being double sided, and their cards show you nothing.

We all know what is fair and just. Turning the IS “bs” around should not be our objective. We just want to eliminate being exploited. None of us wish to collect our fee and do an inept job. But we are fed up with an endless list of “additional requirements” that come with the package that were not disclosed when offered the assignment. When I mention this I am told it’s an IS. Well. My IS is to do what I agreed to do when setting my fee. Also the IS of “fee blackmailing” to require notaries to complete “I will be legally responsible if it does not fund” and similar nonsense is a thing of the past.

Most of us are one person business entities. We, lacking a true representative association that looks out for us; must form and enforce our own, fair, and just – Industry Standards.

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Go to jail, but DO collect $100

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 1:19 am

Go to Jail, but DO collect $100
As a notary on official business, not to become a “resident”. I’ve been to several jails. They, so far, have shared a virtually identical routine. Oops, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. First, you need the assignment. In your profile on 123notary.com did you check the box for Jail Signings. You can access that part of your profile by selecting “Edit Additional Info”. While there glance at your commission expiration date – often overlooked, it needs to be kept current. OK, now you do qualify to show in a search for Jail.

Once the call comes in, obtain the basic information; stressing the need for ID. Not just asking that it will be available; verify that your state mandated ID will be available. The jails I have visited issued a “must carry” photo ID to each inmate. I do not accept that ID. Often, you will be meeting an attorney who needs the inmate signature notarized. Once in a while an attorney will present their interpretation of what is proper ID. They tend to be good talkers. True, it’s a different environment; but you know notary law; they don’t. Have the ID issue fully handled prior to any making any commitment.

You might not be admitted. Accept that as a fact. The facility might have a rule that only the attorney and family can visit. Make it absolutely clear to your client that your fee is earned by meeting them at the facility and putting forth “best efforts” to complete the job. My visits have always been with attorneys. They say the right things to the admitting guard. But there are no guarantees; they are not (IMHO) obligated to let you in. With ID and getting in being issues, all jail Notary assignments are prepaid. Make sure to have your driver license and current proof of your notary commission.

You should prepare for your visit. What works for me is having two zip lock plastic bags. One is for what I wish to bring in, the other for what I cannot bring in. After checking in, the two bags are surrendered at the window. They are very choosey about what goes in. Your embosser will probably be forbidden, stamping device usually accepted. However, a better strategy is to go in with absolutely nothing. Do the notarizations in the lobby, after you leave the secure area. On those days I wear my Velcro closing belt, without a bit of metal. When I tell the metal detector operator it’s Velcro and has no metal; I’m usually allowed to wear it.

It’s a Jail. You will be told what to do. Avoid asking any questions and comply immediately with what you are told to do. Doors slide open and clang shut. Your photograph may be taken. Your hand might receive a visitor stamp, similar to the “paid for admission” at many events. You will be told to sit someplace and wait. They are not in a hurry. Time is what they serve, often in great quantities. Eventually, the prisoner will arrive; sometimes you will be directed to a conference room. The cardinal rule is to give nothing whatsoever to the inmate. Nothing. If you had to bring in a pen, make sure you leave with it.

ID checked, signatures given oath; take possession of the pages with the signatures witnessed. You don’t want your client accidently adding or changing documents for different ones that were also signed. Making certain to enter the correct county in the Venue; complete the process after your “release”. You should do at least one Jail “visit”; strict adherence to notary law will follow.

.

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January 14, 2011

Don’t ask for a review at the wrong time

Filed under: Popular on Facebook (A little),Reviews — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:14 pm

Notaries are notorious for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Title companies are even worse when sending e-documents is concerned. How can the world keep spinning around on schedule while everybody on earth is so uncoordinated?

When, I lecture Notaries about how they need to ask for reviews, the timing is very important. Some ask too many people at once and then don’t do it again for three years. They’ll have three reviews on the same date that look like they wrote them. Take this advice instead. See how it’s done.

BORROWER: Gee, I love your work. You are the best Notary we’ve ever had!

NOTARY: Really? … I mean, thanks. Nobody has ever said that to me before.. I mean — I get that all the time.

BORROWER: Oh. Well, you explained everything to us nicely, showed up on time, and didn’t discuss politics like that “other” Notary who talked for two hours about how he didn’t like Obama-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. Well, it’s either that or Trump-care, whatever that is. By the way, 123notary has a review feature that’s easy to use. If others see that I have a realistic review or two on my profile, that would help so much. Would you mind writing a quick review for me? I can email you a link to my review page.

BORROWER: Sure, just don’t sell my email to an outsourced service abroad or Trump will tax you. My email is borrower2015@gmail.com

NOTARY: Got it. I will send you an email right now from my i-phone.

BORROWER: I bet Jeb Bush wants to put implants in those i-phones.

NOTARY: Actually, it is Obama who’s Obama-care manifesto of hundreds of pages who discussed implants. The senators didn’t read that part carefully or they probably wouldn’t have voted for it.

BORROWER: Between Trump and Ahmedanijan, I think we’re all doomed.

NOTARY: I agree. I just can’t believe that “other” Notary would bring up these topics at a signing though.

BORROWER: Ooops, just got an email. There it is…. let’s click on the link here. Yes, we just can’t figure out why he would be the one to bring up politics at a signing, especially at a signing where both signers have been registered democrats since we were of voting age — actually, card carrying registered democrats. Why, we wouldn’t vote for a republican if you paid us to, or offered us a break in our tax bracket. Hmmm. Let’s write something in the review. It wants my name, email, and a comment. Okay…

“Sam the Notary was excellent. He showed up on time and explained everything to us. Thank God he wasn’t like that ‘other’ Notary who showed up late and then had the audacity to discuss politics throughout the entire signing. Good God!”

BORROWER: Okay, your review has been published. Just wait for Jeremy to approve the message and it will go live.

NOTARY: How do you know the process?

BORROWER: Well, it’s a long story. You see my psychic whose name is Sam also told us that a Notary would come to our house. Sam the psychic is also a registered democrat by the way and swears by Obama-care. Anyway, he told us the entire procedure. We were just relieved to know that a Notary who was helpful would come to rescue us. I just loved your service. In fact, I love it so much, I wish Obama would create a new system called Notary-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. That sounds good. Like a dental plan. You pay every month, get penalized if you don’t pay, and then you can use a Notary who is on the list of acceptable Notaries, but you have to make a co-payment, and fill out twenty forms. I agree. That would make the world easier, and a better place, not to mention reducing the chance of Notaries getting involved in political discussions with borrowers.

BORROWER: Yes. And you know what’s funny? The Notary before that “other” Notary also had the nerve to discuss politics with us. What is it with these people?

NOTARY: I’m not sure, but I’m going to email Jeremy to add a new field on his database. A new search function where you can choose the political affiliation of the Notary. For you, I really feel you are better off with a democrat who doesn’t discuss politics at the signing.

BORROWER: My sentiments exactly.

COMMENTARY: On the other hand, if the borrower doesn’t praise your Notary work. Don’t bother them asking for a review because it won’t happen!

.

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5 or 6 reviews doubles your business
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January 10, 2011

If you can notarize here, you can notarize anywhere

Filed under: General Stories,Popular on Facebook (shares) — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 10:53 am

The Notary profession in New York City is so competitive, few can survive at all. Or is it the other way around? To compete with Ken who has about four million positive reviews, you would have to be Superman, and have been Superman for the last ten years to have a chance to compete with him. We have some of the smartest Notaries in the country in New York for some reason. I guess NYC attracts the best and the brightest. Detroit also attracts some of the best — I can’t figure that one out (hmmm.) The city that does wost on our algorithm nationwide is our nation’s capitol — how ironic!

But, on a brighter note, some of our listings far down the list “Find a Notary in Manhattan” get tons of clicks. We have a few UPS stores that are getting seven clicks a day or so while similar businesses in other cities average about 1.5 clicks per day. What do all these numbers mean? NYC is a very populated city and is also a county. During the day there might be about 7 million people there. Additionally, since so many of those people are there to get high level business done, they need more Notaries than any other city or county in the nation. Our Los Angeles page only represents about 3 million folks which is less than half of what NYC represents. Miami-Dade only has 2.6 million. So, it kind of makes sense that the New Yorkers lead the pack in clicks on 123notary.

But, if you want to learn from the best, we have great Notaries everywhere, but the average caliber of Notary in NYC is far above the rest. If only all Notaries could learn from them. But, you can! Just read our blog! Ken, our in-house talented blog writer writes a piece (an unconcealed piece) every week, so you can learn from the best just by visiting our blog!

But, one of our clients in New York City saw a naked man wearing only a cardboard Notary Seal was walking down the street screaming — If you can notarize here, you can notarize anywhere!!!

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January 3, 2011

Tony Soprano Gets Notarized

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: — admin @ 9:46 am

NOTARY: Boy, what a long trip, and the traffic was terrible.

TONY: I understand. I’ve had a lot of trouble recently with traffic myself. Everytime I get stuck in traffic the only thought that runs through my head is, “where is that ambulance from heaven that I can follow.”

NOTARY: Isn’t that illegal?

TONY: It ain’t illegal if you don’t get caught. Besides… I know people. Capiche? (gives the notary two light avuncular slaps)

NOTARY: I’m not sure if I’m at a notariation or in a Good Fella’s movie.

TONY: It’s a little of both I guess when you’re around here. So.. let’s get started.

NOTARY: Do you have a document you need notarized? Can I see it?

TONY: I got it right here, safe and sound in my violin case. I’m from a very musical family. You know?

NOTARY: Yes, I can see that. There seem to be many violin cases around here. Do you know a good place I can get my bow rehaired?

TONY: Your what?

NOTARY: My bow. I’m a Violist.

TONY: Violist?

NOTARY: You know the instrument that looks like a violin, but is slightly bigger?

TONY: Oh yeah… the viola. I know what that is. But, you’re on your own. I don’t know no bow hair fixer uppers. My violins are strictly for looks purposes only, eh?

NOTARY: I understand. Just for show. Kind of like when I try to play the Khachaturian or Paganini concertos.

TONY: Oh yeah. I know Paganini. I dated his sister for a while. It didn’t end too good though. One of the uncles threatened me.

NOTARY: Did he threaten to forbid you from playing the violin again?

TONY: Not exactly. Let’s put it this way, he owns a concrete business.

NOTARY: Oh, well you won’t be able to play the violin again if he does what I think he was implying.

TONY: Never could in the first place. Okay, here’s the document — oh shoot, I’m running low on ammo. I didn’t realize. Thank God we’re doing this.

NOTARY: Ammo? You keep ammo in the violin case? When I go out to play a concert, I always keep my ammo in a separate bag from my viola case.

TONY: To each his own. Sometimes you don’t want the ammo getting separated from your instruments — you know what I mean?

NOTARY: Okay… we have the document entitled, “I won’t go anywhere’s near Giuseppe or the rest of you’s guys.” Okay, great. Can I see some ID?

TONY: Take your pick! (hands out twelve ID”s like a fan of cards.

NOTARY: Oh, I see. Let me close my eyes. Hmmm. I think I’ll pick…. this one… By the way, which one is the real one so I don’t have to have you arrested for fraud.

TONY: Oh, they’re all real.

NOTARY: What I mean was, which one was issued by the DMV here.

TONY: Oh, that kind of real. Dis one!

NOTARY: Now we’re in business. Now, please sign the document as Tony Soprano, and sign the journal the same way. I’ll need thumbprints too.

TONY: I have DNA samples in my other violin case just in case you’re interested.

NOTARY: Is it your DNA or DNA you’re planting.

TONY: Once again — take your pick!

NOTARY: Okay, I’ve filled out the form, I’m affixing my seal…. done… You know something. After meeting you, I’d like to keep my notary seal, journal, and ammunition (ink refill) in a violin case — and also wear a black shirt, white tie, and pin stripe suit.

TONY: You can call your operation, “Just got made Notarizations.” Just don’t try to do no notarizations in Bensonhurst. You’ll be cutting into Guido’s territory. He’s incharge of all the notarizations down there. Bad things could happen if you venture down there. Understand?

NOTARY: I think I got it. I’ll just stick to Connecticut for now. Have a nice day and stay out of trouble.

TONY: I think I’ll be safe with this document notarized. Now my ex-girlfriend’s family will feel safe…

NOTARY: Never mind — I’m not even going to ask.

.

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