You searched for business card - Page 7 of 8 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

February 9, 2013

2013 Phoninar Quick Course

Filed under: Best Practices,Loan Signing 101,Posts With Many Comments — admin @ 11:26 pm

Here is the study guide for the phoninar!

The purpose of the phoninar is to help notaries learn some of the basics of signing without taking an actual course. Many notaries do not want to take a course, or they already took a course without mastering the material. My solution is to have a free quickie course to start them out with. If they can pass our over the phone test, we will keep them on the site. However, if they fail miserably, then we will most likely remove them from the site if they have a free listing.

Topic #1
The Right to Cancel
Most notaries have a rescission calendar that they refer to when calculating the last day to rescind. Few notaries know when all of the Federal holidays are. Many notaries also can not think clearly about how to calculate the last day to rescind mainly because they have never practiced calculating this date. If you want to come across as a professional, learn to give quick and accurate answers to simple everyday signing questions.

In a residential refinance, the borrower has (3) days to rescind not including Sundays and Federal Holidays. Be careful, Presidents day and Washington’s birthday are synonymous. Also, Flag day is not a Federal Holiday, but banks might be closed. Some lenders do not count SATURDAY as one of the (3) days to rescind, but formally, Saturday is considered a business day in terms of calculating rescission. Other lenders allow the Friday after Thanksgiving to be considered a holiday when legally it is not. Basically, each lender is different, but you have to know the basic laws effecting rescission instead of relying on what the handful of lenders you work with say.

Here is a list of Federal Holidays — memorize these for the test
(1) New Years Day, (2) Martin Luther King Day, (3) Washington’s Birthday, (4) Memorial Day, (5) Independence Day, (6) Labor Day, (7) Columbus Day, (8) Veteran’s Day, (9) Thanksgiving, (10) Christmas

Quick Facts
(a) There are two blanks for dates in the RTC which are generally filled in by the lender. Once in a while the notary needs to fill in these dates or correct them. The technical terms for these dates are the Transaction Date and the Rescission Date. Please memorize these terms for the test.
(b) The date of the signing is NOT included in the (3) days to cancel. If a loan is signed on Monday then Tuesday is day 1, Wednesday is day 2, and Thursday would be the 3rd or last day to cancel.
(c) Loans must be cancelled in writing by the deadline in writing by fax or mail, but not by email.

Pop Quiz
(1) Name all Federal holidays that come in January
(2) If a refinance is signed on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, when is the last day to rescind?
(3) If a refinance is signed on a Friday, when is the last day to rescind?

===================

Topic #2
The APR
Most notaries know a little something about the APR, but this topic is actually very critical for your success as a signing agent. Every borrower wants to know why their APR is higher than their Rate. How good is your explanation. Here is what we want you to know for the phone test. Sure, there is more to know than what we are telling you, so learn the basics from us, and learn more on your own.

Definition:The APR is the annual percentage relationship between the payments and the amount borrowed, minus the fees. This rate is often used to compare the different loans borrowers have to choose from. The APR is almost always higher than the rate. The rate, on the other hand, is a monthly percentage relationship between the payments and the total amount borrowed, including fees.

Quick Facts
(1) The APR is documented on the Truth in Lending Disclosure
(2) The APR is usually but not always higher than the Rate
(3) Your definition for the APR should include the fact that it could include loan origination fees, closing costs, appraisal fees, inspection fees, points, escrow fees, notary fees, and other costs of the loan — those are some of the big ones.
(4) If you mention that the APR is often used to compare loans, you get points on the phone test
(5) If you mention that the APR might be compounded, you get points.
(6) Several notaries have claimed that there is no government standard for computing the APR, it is up to each individual lender.
(7) You could also claim that the APR includes the interest rate, all fees and costs of the loan, and incorporates them all into a compounded Annual Percentage Rate.
(8) There are many ways to define the APR, the key is to mention all of the components in a clear and easy to understand way.

You might like:
Definitions of the APR
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5844

Pop Quiz
(1) Which document contains the APR?
(2) What are some fees that might be incorporated into the APR
(3) Please create and rehearse your definition of the APR so that you will sound professional before your borrowers

===================

The Rate
The Rate or Interest Rate is more of a topic of confusion with the notaries than the APR although it is much simpler to understand and actually easier to find. Traditionally, the Rate is always documented in the Note. The note by definition discusses the Interest Rate, monthly payments, and prepayment penalties (if any). Once in a while there will be a Rider associated with the Note that might discuss these issues as well.

Inexperienced notaries typically claim that the best place to look for the Rate is on the Truth in Lending. Half of them say this because they are so uneducated that they can not distinguish between the APR and the Rate. The other half choose the Truth in Lending Disclosure because the Rate is actually documented there in many cases. But, let me ask you — if you are in front of the borrower and want to make a good impression — would you look for the Rate in a document where it sometimes is, or in a document like the Note where by definition it ALWAYS is? I vote for always because you will look like a fool if you go fumbling through the documents trying to find the right information in the wrong place.

Quick Facts:
(1) The Rate is always located in the Note
(2) In loans over the last few years the Rate is also generally documented in the HUD-1 Settlement Statement which comes later in the documents than the note unless it was sent separately.
(3) Some lenders include the Rate in the Truth in Lending, although this should NOT be the place you look for it first since it is not always there.

Pop Quiz
If you want to show the borrower the rate, which three documents would be where you would look, and in which order would you source those three documents?

=======================

Dealing with errors in signings

Errors on Notary Certificates
From time to time in a signing, there will be an error in the notary certificates. Please keep in mind that handling an error in a certificate might be handled very differently from an error in the actual documents, or in the body of the actual documents, so please make the distinction.

If there is an error in the notary certificate — such as an acknowledgment or jurat certificate to name examples, there are various ways to rectify the situations. The problem is that each method has an upside and a downside.

(1) Cross-out and initial
This is a messy way to solve a problem on a legally significant document such as an acknowledgment. If a person’s name is spelled incorrectly, crossing out an initialing could get the document rejected by a county recorder. One notary had to cross-out wording on an out of state certificate that claimed that she personally knew the signer when in fact she did not know the signer. She crossed that out, and the document custodian was very upset. I told her to consider adding a loose certificate.

REMEMBER, it is the notary who initials changes on notary certificates and NOT the signers.

(2) Add a loose certificate and start all over
Legally, you can always add a loose certificate. However, the person or entity to whom you are submitting the documents to might not like it. Please distinguish between what makes your work legally acceptable and popular as the standards often do not match. The loose certificate has the advantage of having whatever name and wording you want it to have so you don’t need to cross anything out.

(3) Notarize the document twice?
Not illegal. You can do two journal entries and notarize twice. Notarize the original acknowledgment embedded in the last page of the document with the cross outs, and add a fresh certificate as well assuming you have a 2nd journal entry to match that one. Document this well in your journal for your protection.

(4) Redraw?
Redrawing documents is time consuming and expensive. It involves making new appointments and risking not getting paid. But, for an out of state that needs to be worded in a particular way, you can have them word it however they want it to be worded, so that no cross outs or illegal claims or acts are necessary.

==========================

Errors in the right to cancel
Notaries typically do not know how to fill in the dates of the right to cancel. From time to time a signing will be postponed a day, and you need to change the two dates in the right to cancel which are the transaction date (the date you sign), and the rescission date (the last day you can legally cancel). Please try to appear educated and don’t say the signing date, or the cancel date as these wordings are not educated sounding and are also not clear.

To fix the dates on the right to cancel you can:
(1) Cross out, right the correct dates and have both borrowers initial
(2) Pull a fresh copy from the borrowers copies and start all over. The borrower’s copies might or might not have the dates printed in the blanks. If you made a mistake correcting dates, then sourcing the borrower’s copies definately makes sense.

==========================

Fees on the HUD-1 Settlement Statement
If someone wants to know where their fees and closing costs are, please direct them to the HUD-1 Settlement Statement. But, which fees are on the HUD. There is a huge conglomeration of information on the HUD. Too much to teach. But, to impress us, you should be able to rattle off a handful of fees on the HUD without batting an eyelash. Here are a few fees typically on the HUD.

Services: Abstract of Title Search & Title Charges, Appraisal Fee, Attorney fees, Document preparation, Notary Fees
Transaction Costs: Assumption fees, Broker fees, Credit reporting fee, Escrow account deposits, Escrow Fees, Loan Origination fees, Points or commissions, Settlement or closing fees
Inspection Fees: Lead based paint inspection fee, Termite inspection Fee, Other Inspection fees
Insurance: Flood insurance Fee, Hazard insurance, Mortgage insurance application fee, Title insurance
Payments: Interest, Cash payments

================================================

Initialing
There are no legal standards for initialing. However, the purpose of an initial is to have an abbreviated way of writing your name in a document.

Andrew B Clay Sr.
His initials could be ABC, or ABC Sr. Which is better?

Some lenders don’t want a Jr., or Sr., on an initial.
However, if it is part of the signers name on Title, then it is part of their name.
The initials for Junior would be Jr. Therefor in my opinion, it should be part of the initial representing the forth word in the name.

What about Andrew Hooper III
I would have him initial AH III

There is no way to shorten the III part. But we don’t want to confuse him with his father and grandfather who might have been on title, so we will include the III unless asked by the lender not to. There are pros and cons in the different ways of initialing. Be thorough unless asked not to be by the lender.

=====================

Parties involved in a loan
Many notaries don’t realize how involved the loan process is, and how many parties there are involved. So, if you make a mistake signing a loan, you might be inconveniencing more parties than you think. Here are a few:

Lender
Notary Public
Borrower
Relatives of the Borrower
Signing Company
Settlement Agent
Escrow Agent
Broker
Insurance Companies
Title
Loan Servicing Companies
Loan Holding Companies who purchase the loan from your lender (at great risk)
Attorneys
Inspectors
Appraisers
County Recorders
Oh… I almost forgot — the pets of the borrower
======================================

If your stamp was smudgy
If your stamp (notary seal) isn’t clear on notary certificate forms, recorded documents might be rejected by the county recorder. If there are cross-outs, or anything that the recorder doesn’t like, they might reject the document as well which would mean that the notary would have to notarize the document all over again which is very time consuming and involves scheduling. Each county recorder is different and there are over 5000 different county recorders throughout the United States!

=========================================

Attorney in Fact wording
If Sam Smith is signing in his capacity of Attorney in Fact for Sharon Smedley, how would he sign? There are at least two ways: Here they are.

(1) Sam Smith, as attorney in fact for Sharon Smedley (I like this way best)
(2) Sharon Smedley by Sam Smith, her attorney in fact (ambiguous as to who you are in the signature)

Memorize the wording including the commas if you want to pass our phone test!

=========================================

Fraud & Journals
Not all states require you to keep a journal, but for your protection you need one regardless of what your state says. No state forbids you from having a journal. In your journal you record the date & time of notarization, type of notarization, document name, document date (if any), signers name and address, type of ID used, ADDITIONAL NOTES where you record anything unusual about the signing, or if you used credible witnesses, the signature of the signer, and a THUMBPRINT.

Quick Facts:
(1) If a signer is accused of committing fraud. OR, if a third party is accused of tricking a signer to sign something or of forging a signature, then the thumbprint in your journal could keep protect you.
(2) The thumbprint could stop an investigation in its tracks since you have evidence
(3) A thumbprint could drastically reduce the time involved in an investigation or court case. Imagine being stuck in court for 30 days with no income because you did a risky notarization for an elderly lady in the hospital who was on morphine and couldn’t think straight.
(4) Warning — beware of notarizing the elderly. Make sure they understand what they are signing and can paraphrase what is in the document for their protection and yours. You are not legally required to understand the contents of the document, but they can get into huge trouble, and drag you into the trouble if they are being tricked into signing something — especially a power of attorney or deed.

================================

Spouse not on loan?
This question is very state specific. New York deals with spousal issues differently.

As a general rule, if the spouse is not on the loan documents, they might need to sign any Deeds including the Deed of Trust, (Mortgage), Right to Cancel, Truth in Lending, Correction Agreement, HUD, and perhaps a few others.

==================================

Define beneficial interest
If a party is a beneficiary to a document being signed, they would have beneficial interest. But, who else might have beneficial interest too? If you are a relative of the signer such as a spouse or child, you might benefit from the document being signed. If you are a notary who won’t get paid unless the document is signed, then you have beneficial interest in the document being signed which is illegal. To keep it legal, make sure you get paid regardless of if a document gets signed to keep yourself impartial and above board. A notary’s job is not to notarize, but to say NO when necessary. Stand in front of the mirror and practice saying NO!

=====================================

What is the difference between e-documents, e-signings, and e-notarizations

e-documents are documents that are sent to the notary electronically via the internet. A password and various types of downloading software would be necessary for e-documents as well as a high speed internet connection and a fast printer with good ppm.

e-signings are signings typically signed on a laptop with a wireless card. Some of the documents are still physical, and the journal used is physical.

e-notarizations require a special eNotary commission. Only about (9) states have such a commission. The signer is still required to appear before the notary in all, or almost all cases (varies over time and state by state — AZ at one point had some exceptions to the personal appearance law). ENJOA or an eJournal is used for e-notarizations. Unfortunately, county clerks offices are not always able to fulfill their legal obligation to be the custodian of eJournals after a notary’s commission is over. An interesting twist on some new technology that has many serious issues.

You might also like:

Notary Public 101 from 123notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19493

Notary Marketing 102
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19774

Beginner Notaries 103
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21112

Share
>

May 29, 2012

Are webcam notarizations legal in my state?

Are webcam notarizations legal in my state 

As of 2011 & 2012, webcam notarizations are not legal in any state.  The California Secretary of State even went so far as to make an official posting on their California notary division website to specifically state that it is illegal to do webcam notarizations in California and that there was a company who engaged in this illegal notarization practice.  This illegal notarization technique was used for signings in New Jersey by the company in question.  I have not heard if those individuals doign these webcam notarizations have been arrested or what.  We actually advertise them on our website, but post information stating that their webcam notarizations are illegal in California and other states.
 
As a customer for notary services, it is your responsibility to have some basic idea about notary law, and you need to know what is illegal in this business.  Any notary job that lacks personal appearance from the signer is an illegal notarization except for a proof of execution.
 
If you want to look up your state’s notary laws, each state has a notary division website where you can look up specific notary laws particular to your state. It might be hard to sort through and the legalese is not easy to read, but you can learn a lot in a short amount of time by reading through state notary division websites. 
 
You might also like:
 
Contact information for state notary divisions

Do you accept credit cards?
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3135

Being asked to backdate
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3155

e-docs — worth it or not
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=632

Accepting verses bidding on a job
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2306

Share
>

February 21, 2012

All you need to know about notary work

All you need to know about notary work 

There is a lot to know about notary work.  You should visit your state’s notary division website to learn what they want you to know about your state’s notary laws. Regardless of what state you are in, you need to know:
 
Who can become a notary?
Generally state residents who are 18 or older who don’t have a felony conviction or misdemeanor involving dishonesty.  Some states allow residents of neighboring states to apply to be a notary as well.
 
What is the application process to become a notary?
Some states have online applications, while others require you to mail it in. Each state has a different application fee. Check your state’s notary division website for more information
 
What is the procedure to get my official notary seal (notary stamp)?
Most states require the use of a notarial seal, but some states have authorization forms to get your seal.
 
How do I get my notary commission paperwork?
Most states will mail this to you.  Many states require you to file an Oath and Bond at a county recorder’s office, or some other government office in your area.

 Do I need to be bonded to be a notary?
Refer to your state’s notary division website for information
 
What notary acts do I need to know about?
Most states allow notaries to perform notarial acts such as:Acknowledgments, Jurats, Affirmations, Oaths, and Protests.  Some states allow copy certifications for particular documents, and there are other types of notary acts as well that are particular to certain states. Please read your state’s notary division website to learn the details.

 Do I need to keep a journal of notarial acts?
Most states require a journal, but even if they don’t, you should keep a journal for your records in case you are called into court.  A well maintained journal is evidence that can be used in court, or keep you out of court.  You will not remember someone you notarized five years ago, so keep good notes in your journal if something strange happens at the notarization.
 
How do I identify signers?
Generally, a current drivers’s license, state identification card, or password will do.  The ID should be a current government issued photo-ID with a physical description, signature, serial number, and expiration date.  Other forms of identification might be allowed, so please visit your state’s notary division website to learn the details of your state’s rules
 
Attaching certificates.
Notary acts such as Jurats and Acknowledgments require notarial paperwork to accompany the act.  Oaths often do not require a certificate though. Notary certificates come in pads, and you simply fill out the certificate with information about the document and the signer, the date you notarized the document and a few other pieces of information — then you stamp the certificate paper, and staple it to the document.  The document itself might have the certificate on it which means that you do not have to attach a loose certificate.
 
What else do I need to know?
You could learn about how to use credible witnesses, signature by mark, and other types of notary procedures.  You should learn how to take journal thumbprints for your security in identifying potential frauds.  Become an expert on your state notary handbook (if your state has one).  You are responsible for all laws pertaining to notaries in your state.
 
Can a notary notarize outside of their state?
There are some weird exceptions in two states, but as a general rule, you are not authorized to perform notary acts outside of your state boundaries.  If you live near a border, consider getting commissioned in the neighboring state if that state will allow it.
 
How long is a notary term?
Notary terms can range from three years to life, however, the majority of states have a four or five year notary commission term.
 
How do I make money as a notary?
Become a mobile notary, get a loan signing course from 123notary.com, and advertise on our site to get business as a loan signer and mobile notary if your state allows loan signing!

You might also like:

Notary Public 101
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19493

Penalties for Notary misdeeds & misconduct
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2067

How to get something notarized if you don’t have ID
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4692

Where do credible witnesses sign the notary journal?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2508

Sending loose certificates is illegal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2470

Share
>

February 6, 2012

Fraud & Forgery related to the notary profession

Fraud and Forgery in the notary business 

There are many types of fraud that a notary might run into in their notarial career, forgery being one of the more common types of fraud. But, let’s take a closer look at what specific types of things could happen.
 
(1) Someone could forge your seal and pretend to be you.  It happened to me.  Unfortunately for them, they didn’t forge my signature very well, and didn’t copy my style of embossing every page either.  Putting technicalities aside, I bet they were not able to forge my quirky sense of humor either.  Notary seal forgery is not common. In my case, I think they used a really good photocopier.  BTW, a photocopier can NOT copy the RAISED impression of an inkless embossed seal which is why I used it on all of my notarizations.
 
(2) Page swapping — the old bait and switch routine.  I got called to notarize many multi-page documents. I put my embossing seal through all of the pages leaving a raised impression on each page.  I usually did these individually. Sometimes it is better to do all pages together so the seal goes through the same location in each page.  However, the seal comes out more clearly if you go page by page.  In any case, if you see a ten page document where all of the pages EXCEPT for page four are embossed, that would raise my eyebrows.  I have had many situations, where the signer wants me to give them another acknowledgment certificate for a new page they are adding to the document. I tell them that I have to notarize their signature ALL OVER AGAIN, and that is the law no matter how many times you say, “Oh, come on”.  With that attitude you might as well notarize your own signature as a non-notary!
 
(3) Title companies have a common practice of initialing for the borrower if the borrower misses an initial. It is “easier” than sending the documents back to the borrower.  Whether it is signature forgery to forge initials is a matter for an attorney to decide, but it seems pretty illegal to me to engage in initial forgery. I don’t think that anyone audits loan documents to see if anyone is engaging in initial forgery, but perhaps they should — many Title companies might get busted or investigated at a minimum.
 
(4) Refusal to be thumbprinted?  You must be up to something if you don’t want your thumbprint recorded. Maybe you have a fake identification card, right?  You can fake an ID, but you can not fake a thumbprint.
 
(5) Signature forgery.  If someone forged a signature on a document, they will have to have a fake ID and forge the same signature on the ID and in your journal. It would be a tough crime to pull off. I think that nobody in their right mind would attempt this.  Normally, people try to do crimes of fraud in private, and wouldn’t be willing to let other parties see what they are doing, no matter what!
 
(6) Notarizing out of state?  If you don’t have a commission in a particular state, you can not notarize there, with a few exceptions. Military notaries have special rules. A Virginia notary public may notarize out of the state of Virginia, but only for documents that are to be recorded within the state of Virginia. In any case, from time to time we will hear rumors that a notary public is operating illegally in a bordering state where they are not commissioned, and people want us to enforce the rule. I tell them to report the individual to the state notary division where the Notary in question is commissioned.
 
(7) Charging more than the state maximum notary fees is illegal, and charging more travel fee than your state allows (roughly eight states have restrictions for travel fees) can get you in trouble too.
 
(8) Filling out an Acknowledgment or Jurat form when you never saw the signer and never had the signer sign your journal is a really serious act of notarial misconduct.  You can lose your commission and get fined or jailed for this.

You might also like:

Backdating from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2424

Notarizing multi-page documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21423

Penalties for notary misconduct, fraud and failure of duty
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

Share
>

November 14, 2011

Power of Attorney Signings

Power of Attorney Notary Signings
 
It is common for notaries to get a job notarizing a signature of a grantor on a power of attorney document.  It is also common for a signer who is the attorney in fact to sign documents in their official capacity as an attorney in fact.  The problems is that most notaries haven’t a clue how to handle this type of common, yet critical situation. 
 
Types of powers of attorneys
First of all, as a notary public, you are not required to understand the contents of the document.  For an acknowledged signature, the signer should be named in the document and should sign it.  Other than that, you just need to be sure the signer understands the document, and you shouldn’t have any indication that the document is fraudulent (how would you know anyway?).  Their are banking powers of attorney, durable powers of attorney, health care powers of attorney, and living trusts which are a sort of power of attorney. There are other types too, but these are the most common ones.
 
What does a notary need to know about powers of attorney?
You need to know who a grantor and grantee is.  You need to know who an attorney in fact is (= the grantee).  You need to know how the attorney in fact signs a document.  You need to know that California notaries must take journal thumbprints when notarizing signatures on powers of attorney.
 
 
Is the form I am using acceptable?
Notaries may NOT recommend particular power of attorney forms, nor should they assist in filling them out.  The notary should look for blanks, and refuse to notarize if there are any blanks in the document.  It is not a crime for a notary to have blank standardized power of attorney forms in their briefcase, so long as they make it clear that they are not giving legal advice and not recommending the use of those forms.  You might tell the client that they should check with the document custodian (whomever they are submitting the documents to), to see what type of paperwork they will accept.  What is legal, and what is acceptable to the recipient are often two different things.
 
Banking power of attorney
Most banks have their own power of attorney form which is on card stock and leaves about half an inch to squeeze your two and a half inch wide notary seal (how educated of them!).  If asked to notarize a banking power of attorney, just do what the client asks within the limits of the law, but for your knowledge, you should be aware that the bank may not accept a power of attorney that they didn’t draft and that the client might be advised to check with the bank before doing any business with a notary public. 
 
How does an attorney in fact sign?
The person who has been granted special powers from a power of attorney is the grantee or attorney in fact.  They can sign in two ways that I am aware of.  If the grantor is John Doe, and the attorney in fact is Sally Smith, here is how Sally signs on behalf of John.
(1)  John Doe, by Sally Smith, his attorney in fact
(2) Sally Smith, as attorney in fact for John Doe
 
Power of attorney documents at a loan signing
Whether or not the loan will be accepted is hard to say.  However, many lenders will require a copy of the power of attorney to accompany the documents. 
 
Acknowledgment Forms
Some acknowledgment forms allow the notary to identify the capacity of the signer.  One of the standard check boxes on an acknowledgment certificate form is for attorney in fact, and other corporate offices are sometimes mentioned as well.

You might also like:

Index of posts about Power of Attorney
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20255

How do you get a Power of Attorney Document?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20785

Notarizing Documents for the Elderly
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3334

Notarized Affidavits Information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1963

Bank of America Power of Attorney Form
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21327

Share
>

February 20, 2011

A Seinfeld Episode about a Notary

Filed under: Sit-Coms — admin @ 12:26 am

Jerry – Hey George, lets go get a bite to eat down the street.
George – Hey Jerry, I’d love to, but I have to go.
Jerry – Why? What’s the rush?
George – Ah… I gotta get something notarized.
Jerry – Notarized? Wow, that sounds important.
George – Oh, it’s nothing really, just some stuff for work…. I do it all the time.
Jerry – Work? You don’t have a job.
George – Well, I sort of do now. Gotta go.

———————————-
George – Hi, I brought the document…. and my ID. Here it is.
Notary – Great George, you’ve finally got your act together, no spending half an hour fumbling through your briefcase anymore.
George – Well, you live and you learn, hah!!!
Notary – So what kind of document do you have today?
George – It’s an affidavit that I agree to do some deliveries for my employer.
Notary – Deliveries, you’re moving up in the world.
( notary opens his journal )
George – Hey, what’s that, you notarized a document in Chinese? You don’t understand Chinese.
Notary – I can do that … hey! Why are you looking at my journal, you’re violating MY privacy. Do you mind?
George – Sorry, it’s just that you opened it and I couldn’t help noticing. It was in my “range of vision”, right?
Notary – Okay, please sign the document. Please raise your right hand. Higher… that’s good. Do you solemnly swear that you agree to the statement in this document?
George – I do.
Notary – Okay, here’s your Jurat.. Let me staple it.
George – Ummm… could you use the round seal.. I was just thinking.
Notary – This is the seal I use, okay? Hey, whose business is this anyway?
George – Okay… but, could you thumbprint me?
Notary – Thumbprint?
George – Yeah, you know… a journal thumbprint. I heard that was supposed to be good. You know.. Deter fraud.
Notary – I’m sorry, but you’re not… thumbprintworthy.
George – What? Not thumbprintworthy?
Notary – It’s running low on ink. I only have a dozen or so impressions left in the pad, I’m SAVING it for a Deed or something important.
George – Hey, I have people who can vouch for me. I’m thumbprintworthy baby!
( George calls Elaine )
George – Elaine – I’m at the notary, and I want him to thumbprint me, but he says I’m not thumbprintworthy?
Elaine – What? Not thumbprintworthy? I would thumbprint you any day. In fact. You are as thumbprintworthy as they come. Give the notary the phone…… Hello? Mr. Notary? I formally vouch for George — he is the most thumbprintworhty person that exists.
Notary – You and your friend are a lot of trouble. George — You’re BANNED!!!
George – Banned? You can’t ban me, you’re a PUBLIC notary, you are obligated to serve the public
Notary – How do you know that? Public Schmublic. You’re banned from my services. Pay me my fee…thats $10.. and get out!
George – Hey, look out the window!
Notary – What?
( George SWIPES the thumbprinter and leaves while the notary is looking out the window )
————————————————————————–
Kramer – Clarissa, Clarissa, how can I describe my love .. for you… oh… Clarissa.
Clarissa – I told you before, I don’t date guys from Brooklyn.
Kramer – But, wait a second, you think I’m from Brooklyn. No, no… you’ve got it all wrong. I’m from Manhattan. I just hang out at
a friend’s house there. He lets me use the house while he’s away. He gave me key privileges.
Clarissa – You expect me to believe that? Key priveleges. Nobody gives their key to anyone in New York, not even their own parents.
Kramer – Oh,… he gave me the key. My friends are like that. Look, I even have Jerry’s key. I go over there whenever I feel like it. You see, Jerry and I… we understand each other. And he’s cool about it too. He doesn’t even mind if I eat his FRITOS once in a while.
( phone rings )
Jerry – Hey Kramer
Kramer – Hi Jerry, how’s everything? I’m with Clarissa now.
Jerry – Oh…. Clarissa. I remember her (unenthusiastically). Hey, by any chance, you didn’t happen to have eaten any of my FRITOS, did you?
Kramer – Fritos, oh, yeah, I didn’t know you needed them.
Jerry – If I didn’t need them I wouldn’t buy them. You’re violating your key privileges. Keep this up. and I’ll de-key you.
Kramer – No… not that. I need my key.
Jerry – Well, I’m going to have to draw up a “covenant of the key.”
Kramer – A covenant? Nobody does that.
Jerry – They do now. Keep this up, and you will be in violation of … the covenant of the key!!!
( Jerry hangs up )
Kramer – Clarissa, Clarissa, what can I do to win your love.
Clarissa – Okay, you seem like a nice guy, so I’ll give you one chance. Get me a notarized affidavit stating that you live in Manhattan and give me your address. I’m leaving at 7pm for France, so get it to me by then!
Kramer – Anything for you.. my Clarissa.
————————————————————————————–
( Kramer calls George up.)
Kramer – George, you gotta help me. I’m in trouble, It’s urgent.
George – What, are you having appendicitis or something?
Kramer – No, its not a health emergency, its a … a LOVE emergency.
George – Oh… Love.
Kramer – Clarissa wants an affidavit saying that I live in Manhattan. She doesn’t believe me. You know that notary guy on the West side, right?
George – Oh, yeah, yeah.. But, um.
Kramer – What?
George – There’s a small problem.
Kramer – What?
George – I’ve been banned.
Kramer – Banned? No, you can’t be banned. You can’t be banned by a notary.
George – Oh yes, I’ve been banned.
Kramer – Well, he doesn’t know me, you gotta help me.
George – Okay, I’ll give you his number. But it’s 4pm now and he leaves at 5pm.
Kramer – I need to get it to Clarissa by 7pm… It’s … an emergency!
George – Okay … here’s the number. Call him now and make an appointment.
Kramer – Thanks … you’re wonderful.
——————————————————————–
( George drives Kramer to the appointment because there is no parking there )
Kramer – Hello, are you the notary?
Notary – Yeah, how did you hear about me?
Kramer – Oh, the yellow pages.
Notary – Yellow pages, eh.. Well I don’t advertise in the yellow pages. Only by word of mouth.
Kramer – Oh, maybe it’s the OTHER notary I found in the yellow pages.
Notary – Alright wise guy, what do you want?
Kramer – I need an affidavit notarized. Can you squeeze me in?
Notary – Okay. Be here at 4:15.
Kramer – Okay
——————————————————————-
(kramer arrives at the notary office)
Kramer – Hi, I’m Kramer
Notary – Paul…. let me see your ID.
Kramer – ID? I don’t think I brought it with me.
Notary – No ID, no notary, pal…
Kramer – Hold on, I think I left it in the car.
Notary – You got a parking place here? You must be a genius. Where did you park?
Kramer – I got lucky, I guess.
( Kramer runs down the stairs and comes back huffing and puffing with the ID )
Notary – I looked out the window. You didn’t park. You’re WITH someone.
Kramer – Oh, that’s just a friend.
Notary – Okay. Where’s the document
Kramer – Here it is.
Notary – An affidavit swearing that you live in Manhattan. What kind of a nut would want you to sign this?
Kramer – Oh, she’s a nut alright. You should see her.
Notary – I’ll pass.
Kramer – Hey, by the way, my friend usually has this done with a circular seal, do you have one?
Notary- (thinking out loud) Circular seal, didn’t the guy yesterday ask me for that?
Kramer – Oh, and could you … thumbprint me? I want it to look official.
Notary – Thumbprint? and circular seal, that sounds just like the last guy… WHO GOT BANNED! George was his name. It’s right here on the previous page. George Costanza. You know George.
Kramer – No really, I don’t know him.
Notary – Yes you do… He’s the one waiting for you in the car.
Kramer – No he’s not.
Notary – I’m going down, I want to see for myself.
( Kramer and notary go downstairs )
( Kramer motions to George to go and makes a motion near his throat )
( George shrugs his shoulders in confusion – then George sees the notary and bolts )
Notary – So it is George.
Kramer – I don’t know who that is. You didn’t even see him
( Kramer’s phone rings – the notary grabs the phone )
George – Kramer, he saw me.
Notary – AHA! It’s me. You’re the guy that got banned.. Well now your friend is banned too!
Notary – and YOU took my thumbprinter, it’s been missing ever since you were here last. Give it back!
Kramer – No… no…now what am I going to do.

——————————————————————————-
( Kramer and George drive off )
Kramer – Now what am I going to do. It’s 5pm and everyone is closed. Do you know any late night notaries?
George – Yeah, but you’re not going to like this. He’s in Brooklyn.
Kramer – That doesn’t matter.
George – Okay, let’s go.
—————————————————————————-
Brooklyn Notary – Hi-ya fellows. How’s everything?
Kramer – Its been a long day.
Brooklyn Notary – Why? What happened?
Kramer – What didn’t happen? Listen I need this form notarized. You wouldn’t happen to have a thumbprinter, would you?
Brooklyn Notary – Well, actually, mine just ran out of ink. I got a bit carried away, and used it on people who were not… well you know.
George – Say it, say it…. thumbprintworthy.
Brooklyn Notary – Well, I never thought of it like that.
George – You would never believe this, but I happen to have .. a thumbprinter!
Brooklyn Notary – where did you get this?
George – From a friend.
Brooklyn Notary – Great. Just give me the document.
Kramer – Here’s my ID.
Brooklyn Notary – It’s okay, I know your friend, that’s good enough for me.
Kramer – But, the law… you gotta have an ID.. I want this to be legit!
Brooklyn Notary – yeah yeah sure sure. I’ll put this all in the journal.
Kramer – Can you do the thumbprint now?
Brooklyn Notary – Sure… Here you go. Your Jurat … Notarized and all.
Kramer – How can I ever thank you.
Brooklyn Notary – It’s nothing.
———————————————————————————-
( Kramer and George drive back over the bridge, battling traffic, and make it to Clarissa’s house by 6:55 )
Kramer – Clarissa, my love. Here it is.
Clarissa – Oh, I’m so touched, so you really do love me!
Kramer – You don’t know what I had to do to get this.
Clarissa – Oh Kramer, I ….. LOVE ….. ( she glances at the document )
Clarissa – KINGS County?… wait a second. If you live in Manhattan, why would you get it notarized in Kings County? That’s Brooklyn.
Kramer – It says Kings County on it?
George – Yeah, you see, this is the Venue, and on the Venue it says Kings County. That just means where it got done. It doesn’t matter. You live in Manhattan.
Clarissa – We’re through. I’m leaving. I’ll send you a postcard from Paris.
Clarissa – Hasta la Au Revoir – Baby
————————————————————————————
Kramer – No, no, no…. it’s all because you got banned. How did you? .. Oh…It’s the thumbprinter. He banned you because you took his thumbprinter.
George – No Kramer, that happened after he banned me. I swiped it while he wasn’t looking.
Kramer – No, it’s the thumbpriner, you got us all in trouble.
Kramer – I have an idea. You can give it back to him and get him a new one, then he’ll be back on good terms with you.
George – You’re crazy.
Kramer – I insist. I need a good notary in Manhattan. He’s close. You gotta do it.
———————————————————————————
( George and Kramer go buy a thumb printer and go back to the Notary – he is there late at the office )
George – I just wanted to say… I’m sorry. This thumb printer somehow got shuffled up with my stuff and I didn’t even realize… Silly me.
Notary – My thumbprinter, it’s back…. I needed you…. Oh thank you..HOW COULD YOU!
George – It was an accident.
Notary – And you contaminated it with your germs. Now it’s tainted.
George – Now wait a minute, it’s a thumbprinter, its job is to be touched by OTHER PEOPLE’s Thumbs.
Notary – You used it, didn’t you.
George – Listen, we felt so bad, we went all the way to an office supply store and got you a brand new one.
Notary – Thank you… I’m touched…
George – Now can you notarize my friend. I’ll pay you double
Notary – Sure, come by any time.
( The Notary notarizes Kramer with the rectangular seal… not the circular one… and thumbprints him )
Kramer – Thank you so much…. Now my document is legit and has New York County on the venue. Clarissa will come back to me… My Clarissa.
————————————————————-
( Kramer and George leave )
Notary – That’s funny, the ink doesn’t come off. I must have gotten some ink on my thumb when I thumbprinted Kramer. And it got on my shirt. My shirt is ruined. And it’s on my table too.
—————————————————————-
(Kramer calls Clarissa… she is at the airport and her flight delayed.)
Kramer – Clarissa, I got it renotarized by a notary in New York County in Manhattan in my neighborhood.
Clarissa – I’m still at the airport, I’ll be here until 11. Get it to me.
Kramer – Okay.
(Kramer and George drive to the airport and get there at 9pm.)
Kramer – Here it is. Notarized in Manhattan. West 88th Street!
Clarissa – Wow, you really do love me. I will date you after all. Give me a hug.
( Kramer and Clarissa hug good by )
Clarissa – I’ll see you when I get back.
——————————————————————
( the plane takes off. Clarissa goes to the bathroom and comes back )
Clarissa – Hm, thats funny, there is ink on the back of my chair. Do you see ink?
Flight attendant – Hm, that does look like ink. Have you been thumbprinted recently?
Clarissa – No, why would I be thumbprinted?
Flight attendant – You know, when you go to a notary. You get thumbprinted. You must have forgotten to wash off the ink.
Clarissa – I was never notarized…. wait a second…. When Kramer hugged me, he put his thumbs on the back of my blouse and that got on the chair. Does my blouse have ink on it?
Flight attendant – Yes it does. You’ll have to bleach that a few times.
Clarissa – No!!!
( Clarissa gets to Paris and calls Kramer )
Clarissa – Nous sommes finit!!! We are over!!!
Kramer – What????

Share
>

January 30, 2011

Two and a half notaries: impaired judgement

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 11:43 am

DISCLAIMER: This skit has references which many people might find inappropriate. Readers should be at least thirteen years of age and of unsound mind to read this article!

ALAN: I’m doing a notarization this evening!

BERTA: You’re still doing that? But, you have a career, why do you need to do that?

ALAN: Well, maybe I like notarizing things. I find it therapeutic.

CHARLIE: Well, if you think that’s therapeutic, then you’re nuts — so that should work out quite nicely

ALAN: I enjoy the art of affixing my seal; somehow makes me feel in control over the universe.

CHARLIE: You’re drinking vodka? You shouldn’t drink before a notarization because that could impair your judgement.

ALAN: Oh, its not for me, it’s for the signers.

CHARLIE: Oh, well in that case, even I would feel that it was therapeutic, assuming I had any feeling in my fingers after ingesting all of that vodka.

BERTA: Well, how much extra do you get by having these signers sign something that they shouldn’t after their judgement has been impaired?

ALAN: This signing is actually for a lesbian couple. I’m hoping that the vodka will impair their judgement after the signing. Since I drove my wife to lesbianism, I’m kind of hoping that I can do the same thing with these signers — but, in reverse.

JAKE: (grabbing the bottle of vodka and looking at it) Can you teach me how to be a notary too?

ALAN: You were not intended to hear this conversation

JAKE: Oh, I didn’t hear much. But, I was just thinking. Today in school, we learned about a financial product called a reverse mortgage. And to sign that type of loan, it is called a reverse signing. That might come in handy with those two chicks you’re working on.

CHARLIE: Why don’t you reverse yourself out of here. (to Alan) That kid’s a pain, but he’s right!

BERTA: After half a bottle of that Stolichnaya, maybe they’ll think they’re signing a double mortgage — at least they’ll be seeing double!

JAKE: (comes back in the room) Maybe they’ll pay you double

CHARLIE: Or maybe they’ll give you double trouble — until they pass out!

(Alan drives to the signing)

ROBIN: Thanks for coming. I have my Affidavit of Domicile right here.

ALAN: Oh, I thought we were doing a loan signing.

ROBIN: No, we’re going to do that next week. We just wanted to get this one done as soon as we could.

ALAN: Okay. I brought a little vodka.

CHRIS: Oh, thanks. You can just put that in the cabinet up there.

ALAN: Oh. Okay.

ROBIN: Do we sign here?

ALAN: Yeah… but, I was thinking. You don’t want to toast to your domicile bliss?

ROBIN: Oh no, we’re just living with each other for tax purposes.

BOYFRIEND: Oh, you brought vodka? Oh, that ‘s an expensive brand. Thanks dude, that was so cool and considerate of you!

ALAN: Oh, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. I thought you guys were…

CHRIS: You thought we were lesbian? Oh!

BOYFRIEND: That’s what I thought at first too. Ironically, that’s what attracted me to them.

ALAN: (taking notes) So, how’d you get them to switch? Did you buy them a bottle of vodka.

BOYFRIEND: Kind of. But, I bought them a cheap Smirnoff. To me, I took is as kind of a challenge. I didn’t find out until afterwards that they were straight. I poured them some vodka and said — straight or on the rocks. She said she was straight, but that her relationship was on the rocks.

ALAN: Oh well, let’s get this notarization over. Here’s my card in case you need anything notarized in the future.

BOYFRIEND: Thanks dude, and no hard feelings.

CHRIS: Why don’t you give him his bottle back. It’s the least we can do for leading him on.

ROBIN: I think it was my inadvertent comment about the three-way notarization. I shouldn’t have said that, but I was tipsy. See what alcohol can do?

BOYFRIEND: Here’s your vodka dude, and thanks for everything.

ALAN: Thanks, I guess.

(Alan drives back — a squad car pulls him over)

ALAN: Hello officer, was I speeding?

OFFICER: No, but there is a “Have Seal Will Travel” sticker blocking your left turn signal.

ALAN: Oh brother.. I think my kid Jake must have been trying to help me out with my business. I didn’t see it on there. I asked him to put it on the side of my car.

OFFICER: Maybe you should pay more attention to what you’re doing, and what your son is doing. Is that an open bottle of Vodka on the front passenger mat?

ALAN: Oh boy. It was a gift for my client, but they didn’t want it. So, I’m taking it home.

OFFICER: You’re under a rest.

(Meanwhile in the slammer. The police have mercy on Alan. They figure he’ll get pulverized in the men’s holding cell, so they put him in with the women. Two four-hundred pound biker-chicks have pity on him, and the rest is history.)

BUTTERCUP: I heard all about your little tragedy from the guards, and all I can say is that I am so sorry.

HARLEY: Me too. So, what’s a notarization?

BUTTERCUP: And do you happen to have any more vodka on you?

ALAN: As a matter of fact, I have several mini-bottles in my coat pocket right here.

(We’ll leave the rest to your imagination)

(Four hours later)

CHARLIE: I’m here to bail you out

ALAN: It was incredible.

CHARLIE: What have you been smoking?

ALAN: That was the best signing I ever had.

CHARLIE: (looking at the mini-bottles) Wow, I need to start drinking this stuff.

ALAN: Robin and Chris were great. I’m going to call them when I (passes out)

(Charlie carries him home)

.

You might also like:

Two and a half Notaries: learning the ropes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13707

Two and a half Notaries: Imparied judgement
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13207

Two and a half Notaries: Intercontinental Notary Seal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10432

Share
>

January 20, 2011

Notary Industry Standards According to Ken

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , — admin @ 11:24 am

“It’s an Industry Standard”, sayeth Suppository Signing Service (SSS) when insisting that I accept payment on the 45th workday after the next lunar eclipse. Usually the “defense/attack” of industry standard is used to support an unfair/immoral situation; one that most likely will be “going away soon”. Slavery was an industry standard. Women not having the right to vote was an industry standard. The inclusion of cocaine in Coca Cola was an industry standard. I am sure you can add many currently unjust and destined to disappear practices to the list.

Just who decides what “Industry Standards” are? That’s simple – those (currently) in Power. They are saying that “it should be because it is”. Really? Change for the better is the history of and most basic philosophy of our great nation. Twelve year old children working 14 hour days in coal mines was an industry standard. IS (Industry Standards) change all the time. Unjust laws are changed, oppressed workers form unions, and civil/lawful peaceful protest leads to abolishing IS.

Thus, when SSS wants to “stick me” with their IS; I tell them that their IS statement is obsolete. The current IS is paying via PayPal “up front”. That is MY IS and they can “self administer” their assignment if they are “sticking” to their outdated concept of notary payment IS.

The issue is bigger than just payment. There is an outdated IS perception of the notary as being a “dumping ground” for various tasks. The IS of loading the doc with endless pages of survey, un-necessary FAX requests (not immediate funding, eg: package has 3 day recession), baby monitor calling; the list is practically endless. We are an industry, notaries are the first line of defense against fraud; our task is honorable and necessary. The vast majorities of us are highly skilled and know an Ack from a Venue. The IS of treating us like fools is coming to an abrupt end.

There are many ways to “bounce back” an IS attack. Ask precisely where that IS is codified. Yup, it’s only in the speaker’s mind; because that is the way they would like things to be. You don’t have to accept their IS – TELL THEM YOURS. I have had condescending calls from SSS telling me “you must accept our terms” – really? Not me. And, I sincerely hope the same will be true of you.

The IS statement is just a lot of hot air, being blown in your direction. Why? Because often that tactic works. Many don’t like to “stand out” and wish to swim with the school and fly with the flock. But when that school is heading toward the fisherman nets, when the flock is coming within shotgun range of the hunters – it’s time to change course. Their IS puts all the advantages on their side. You are playing poker with your cards being double sided, and their cards show you nothing.

We all know what is fair and just. Turning the IS “bs” around should not be our objective. We just want to eliminate being exploited. None of us wish to collect our fee and do an inept job. But we are fed up with an endless list of “additional requirements” that come with the package that were not disclosed when offered the assignment. When I mention this I am told it’s an IS. Well. My IS is to do what I agreed to do when setting my fee. Also the IS of “fee blackmailing” to require notaries to complete “I will be legally responsible if it does not fund” and similar nonsense is a thing of the past.

Most of us are one person business entities. We, lacking a true representative association that looks out for us; must form and enforce our own, fair, and just – Industry Standards.

You might also like:

My interpretation of how the Notary industry went South
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16500

The Notary industry is getting more professional
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15987

Share
>

Go to jail, but DO collect $100

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 1:19 am

Go to Jail, but DO collect $100
As a notary on official business, not to become a “resident”. I’ve been to several jails. They, so far, have shared a virtually identical routine. Oops, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. First, you need the assignment. In your profile on 123notary.com did you check the box for Jail Signings. You can access that part of your profile by selecting “Edit Additional Info”. While there glance at your commission expiration date – often overlooked, it needs to be kept current. OK, now you do qualify to show in a search for Jail.

Once the call comes in, obtain the basic information; stressing the need for ID. Not just asking that it will be available; verify that your state mandated ID will be available. The jails I have visited issued a “must carry” photo ID to each inmate. I do not accept that ID. Often, you will be meeting an attorney who needs the inmate signature notarized. Once in a while an attorney will present their interpretation of what is proper ID. They tend to be good talkers. True, it’s a different environment; but you know notary law; they don’t. Have the ID issue fully handled prior to any making any commitment.

You might not be admitted. Accept that as a fact. The facility might have a rule that only the attorney and family can visit. Make it absolutely clear to your client that your fee is earned by meeting them at the facility and putting forth “best efforts” to complete the job. My visits have always been with attorneys. They say the right things to the admitting guard. But there are no guarantees; they are not (IMHO) obligated to let you in. With ID and getting in being issues, all jail Notary assignments are prepaid. Make sure to have your driver license and current proof of your notary commission.

You should prepare for your visit. What works for me is having two zip lock plastic bags. One is for what I wish to bring in, the other for what I cannot bring in. After checking in, the two bags are surrendered at the window. They are very choosey about what goes in. Your embosser will probably be forbidden, stamping device usually accepted. However, a better strategy is to go in with absolutely nothing. Do the notarizations in the lobby, after you leave the secure area. On those days I wear my Velcro closing belt, without a bit of metal. When I tell the metal detector operator it’s Velcro and has no metal; I’m usually allowed to wear it.

It’s a Jail. You will be told what to do. Avoid asking any questions and comply immediately with what you are told to do. Doors slide open and clang shut. Your photograph may be taken. Your hand might receive a visitor stamp, similar to the “paid for admission” at many events. You will be told to sit someplace and wait. They are not in a hurry. Time is what they serve, often in great quantities. Eventually, the prisoner will arrive; sometimes you will be directed to a conference room. The cardinal rule is to give nothing whatsoever to the inmate. Nothing. If you had to bring in a pen, make sure you leave with it.

ID checked, signatures given oath; take possession of the pages with the signatures witnessed. You don’t want your client accidently adding or changing documents for different ones that were also signed. Making certain to enter the correct county in the Venue; complete the process after your “release”. You should do at least one Jail “visit”; strict adherence to notary law will follow.

.

You might also like:

Meeting clients at a jail
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=274

Share
>

January 14, 2011

Don’t ask for a review at the wrong time

Filed under: Popular on Facebook (A little),Reviews — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:14 pm

Notaries are notorious for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Title companies are even worse when sending e-documents is concerned. How can the world keep spinning around on schedule while everybody on earth is so uncoordinated?

When, I lecture Notaries about how they need to ask for reviews, the timing is very important. Some ask too many people at once and then don’t do it again for three years. They’ll have three reviews on the same date that look like they wrote them. Take this advice instead. See how it’s done.

BORROWER: Gee, I love your work. You are the best Notary we’ve ever had!

NOTARY: Really? … I mean, thanks. Nobody has ever said that to me before.. I mean — I get that all the time.

BORROWER: Oh. Well, you explained everything to us nicely, showed up on time, and didn’t discuss politics like that “other” Notary who talked for two hours about how he didn’t like Obama-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. Well, it’s either that or Trump-care, whatever that is. By the way, 123notary has a review feature that’s easy to use. If others see that I have a realistic review or two on my profile, that would help so much. Would you mind writing a quick review for me? I can email you a link to my review page.

BORROWER: Sure, just don’t sell my email to an outsourced service abroad or Trump will tax you. My email is borrower2015@gmail.com

NOTARY: Got it. I will send you an email right now from my i-phone.

BORROWER: I bet Jeb Bush wants to put implants in those i-phones.

NOTARY: Actually, it is Obama who’s Obama-care manifesto of hundreds of pages who discussed implants. The senators didn’t read that part carefully or they probably wouldn’t have voted for it.

BORROWER: Between Trump and Ahmedanijan, I think we’re all doomed.

NOTARY: I agree. I just can’t believe that “other” Notary would bring up these topics at a signing though.

BORROWER: Ooops, just got an email. There it is…. let’s click on the link here. Yes, we just can’t figure out why he would be the one to bring up politics at a signing, especially at a signing where both signers have been registered democrats since we were of voting age — actually, card carrying registered democrats. Why, we wouldn’t vote for a republican if you paid us to, or offered us a break in our tax bracket. Hmmm. Let’s write something in the review. It wants my name, email, and a comment. Okay…

“Sam the Notary was excellent. He showed up on time and explained everything to us. Thank God he wasn’t like that ‘other’ Notary who showed up late and then had the audacity to discuss politics throughout the entire signing. Good God!”

BORROWER: Okay, your review has been published. Just wait for Jeremy to approve the message and it will go live.

NOTARY: How do you know the process?

BORROWER: Well, it’s a long story. You see my psychic whose name is Sam also told us that a Notary would come to our house. Sam the psychic is also a registered democrat by the way and swears by Obama-care. Anyway, he told us the entire procedure. We were just relieved to know that a Notary who was helpful would come to rescue us. I just loved your service. In fact, I love it so much, I wish Obama would create a new system called Notary-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. That sounds good. Like a dental plan. You pay every month, get penalized if you don’t pay, and then you can use a Notary who is on the list of acceptable Notaries, but you have to make a co-payment, and fill out twenty forms. I agree. That would make the world easier, and a better place, not to mention reducing the chance of Notaries getting involved in political discussions with borrowers.

BORROWER: Yes. And you know what’s funny? The Notary before that “other” Notary also had the nerve to discuss politics with us. What is it with these people?

NOTARY: I’m not sure, but I’m going to email Jeremy to add a new field on his database. A new search function where you can choose the political affiliation of the Notary. For you, I really feel you are better off with a democrat who doesn’t discuss politics at the signing.

BORROWER: My sentiments exactly.

COMMENTARY: On the other hand, if the borrower doesn’t praise your Notary work. Don’t bother them asking for a review because it won’t happen!

.

You might also like:

123notary’s comprehensive guide to getting reviews
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16290

5 or 6 reviews doubles your business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8484

Share
>
« Newer PostsOlder Posts »