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November 19, 2011

How do I fill out a Notary Journal Entry?

How do I fill out a journal entry?
 
Please keep in mind that rules and standards for notary procedures can vary from state to state across the United States.  As a general rule, there are certain areas of confusion that we want to make it a point to clarify.
 
Q. Do I need to have a separate journal entry for each signature that I notarize
A. Yes!  Imagine that you are notarizing signatures on a set of loan documents.  Let’s say that there are four documents to be notarized and both husband and wife need to sign each one — you have eight notarized signatures and eight journal entries. 
One journal entry per notarized signature.
 
Q. Does each journal entry need to be signed?
A. Yes!  The individual whose signature you are notarizing needs to sign the corresponding journal entry.
 
Q.  What about thumbprints? Do I need to take a thumbprint?
A.  Sometimes!  For Deeds and Power of Attorney documents in California, you must take a thumbprint.  For other states, there are different standards, but it is always better to have a journal thumbprint just so you can be 100% sure of the signers identity.  ID’s can be forged, but thumbprints of a live person in front of you can not be forged!
 
Q.  What goes in a notary journal entry?
Date &Time,
Type of notarization (i.e. acknowledgment, jurat, oath, affirmation, protest, etc.)
Name of the document being notarized (i.e. affidavit, deed of trust, occupancy affidavit, etc.)
Document date (documents don’t always have a document date, but if you have 20 documents called “affidavit”, you need to distinguish them somehow and a date might help)
Name and address of signer
Identification of signer
Additional notes
Signature of the signer
Thumbprint of the signer (optional in many states)
 
Q.  What if I’m doing a signing that starts at 11:55pm and ends at 12:05am the next day, what date do I use?
A.  You can use either day, but I would date the notary act at the exact time that the signer signs your journal since that is a definitive POINT in time, rather than a range of time.  Some notary acts allow the signer to sign the document BEFORE they see the notary making the document signing a poor choice for a definitive point in time to date the transaction.
 
Q.  Can I make recommendations for what type of notarizations the signers should get since I know more than them?
A.  No! That is considered giving legal advice  (unauthorized practice of law) in many states. Let them choose on their own, although you can tell them what is “normal” as well as explaining the characteristics of each type of notary act in your state.
 
Q. What if many documents I am notarizing all have the same name?
A. It is good to distinguish documents by other characteristics. If you have 20 Grant Deeds to be notarized by the same signer on the same day, you can note the property addresses indicated on the Grant Deed to distinguish which document you were really notarizing. Otherwise, if you ever go to court, you will not be able to tell the judge if you notarized a particular Grant Deed for that particular signer. Imagine what would happen if he did a 21st Grant Deed after you left and forged your seal on the certificate section and claimed that you notarized it.  If your journal doesn’t describe EXACTLY which documents were notarized, you can get duped by a sophisticated fraud!
 
Q.  Name and address of signer, do I have to write this for each entry?
A.  You can write the name and address of a particular signer, and then draw an arrow down for all documents with that person’s signature being notarized. Each document gets it’s own journal entry per signer.  If you have Joe signing four documents and Sally signing four documents, make sure the journal entries for Joe are all sequential so that they will be consecutive and all in the same place.  Then below those entries you can write Sally’s name and address and a separate entry for all of her documents that she is signing.  Example: Lets say your journal page has eight entries.  Entry 1, 2, 3, and 4 would be for Joe. Joes name and address would be on the first entry along with a particular document name and other information.  For entry 2, 3, and 4, you would see different document names, and an arrow indicating that the signer was still Joe and that his information was the same.  Journal entries 5, 6, 7, 8 would be for Sally and her information would go on entry 5 along with a particular document’s name, and then 6, 7, 8 would have document names and an arrow in the name/address field to indicate that it is still Sally who is the signer.  Make sure Joe signs all four of his entries, and that Sally signs for all four of her entries, otherwise you get in trouble if audited.
 
Q.  How do I identify a signer?
A. Rules are different from state to state.  Some states allow a notary to personally know a signer to constitute being positively identified.  Others allow credible witnesses.  All states allow a signer to be identified through the use of current identity documents such as drivers licenses, passports, state identification cards, etc.  The documents (cards) must have a photo, signature, physical description, name, address, expiration date, and serial number to be acceptable.  Some states allow a card to be used for a grace period after it expires.  If your state allows the card to be used five years after it’s issue date, then you need to be able to read the code on the card to figure out when it was issued.
 
Q. Additional notes — what is that for?
A.  If you use credible witnesses, you document their signatures and other information in the additional notes section.  If you want to document unusual situations, or unusual characteristics of the signers, that is the place to put it.  If you are ever called to court, the information in your journal is the ONLY way you will remember the signing in many cases, especially if you do four signings per day over a course of 12 years.  Example: “The male signer Joe looked like a walrus.Sally had a squeeky voice and seemed nervous.”
 
Q.  Signature area – who signs in the signature area?
A.  The signer of a particular document signs in the signature area (not the notary).  Only one signature per journal entry.  If two people are signing the same document, just create a new journal entry for the second signer with the same document name.  This is not rocket science!
 
Q.  Thumbprint area – do I need to have a thumbprint?
A.  Please educate you on your state law. Some states require thumbprints for particular documents and others don’t.  It is better to have a thumbprint just in case you are called into court.  Your court case might be faster (or not happen at all) if you have proof of the identity of the signer such as a thumbprint.

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November 15, 2011

Where Can I find a Chinese Speaking Notary?

Where can I find a Chinese speaking notary public?

At 123notary.com, we receive all types of inquiries from many types of people all the time.  Where can I find Roger Smith, he is a notary in Louisiana?  He notarized a document for me a year ago, and now I can’t find him.  I refer the inquirer to the Louisiana notary division, since they have the addresses of all currently commissioned notaries in the state.  I also get a few people asking me where they can find a notary in India, or Thailand. I refer them to the embassy, or ask them to find an attorney in the country in question.  I give sensible advice, and steer people the right direction, but honestly, I don’t have a lot of information myself that is good for answering most of the questions I get.  The harder requests are requests that I would LIKE to be able to fulfill, but sometimes it’s hard. 
 
Where can I find a Chinese speaking notary?
123notary.com has many bilingual notaries. You can use the LANGUAGE FILTER on the top right of the search results page after you do a search by zip code. Many of our bilingual notaries are Chinese Speaking notaries, however, they are all spread out, and there are dialects too.  Someone who knows Min-Nan-Yu only might not be fluent in Hakka for example.  These are Southern dialects from Guang-Dong and Southern Fu-Jian by the way.  The more common dialects are Mandarin, Cantonese, and Taiwanese in American metros.  You might find many Cantonese speaking notaries in any big city, but we have relatively few advertising on our site.  You can do a search by zip code and then use the language filter on the upper right side of the page.  Try inputting the term Cantonese, and then try Chinese as a second search. See what happens.  I cannot guarantee results because people join our directory daily, and change their language information from time to time, and drop out from time to time as well. 
 
If you can’t find a Chinese speaking notary on 123notary…. then…
The document signer needs to speak the same language as the notary in California and many other states. As a practice, even if your state doesn’t require it, the signer should be able to communicate directly with the notary.  You could try the Chinese yellow pages, or ask around in your metro’s Chinatown. There will be plenty of Chinese speaking notaries, but they might not advertise much as their business might come from word of mouth or (peng-you tui-jian gao-su peng-you) as the case might be.
 
It is common for Chinese people who function mainly in Chinese to pick service providers who also speak their language.  However, this might not be a good idea.  If your English is “Good enough”, you might be better off with an English speaking notary who is really good at what they do, and who is familiar with commonly notarized affidavits and documents. Just my opinion. Choose the skill set before you choose the cultural affinity if you have a choice!

To find a Mandarin speaking notary, just look up Mandarin in the language filter on search results. To find a Taiwanese speaking notary, just look up Taiwanese in the language filter. To find a Cantonese speaking notary, just type the word Cantonese in the language filter in the upper right corner of the search result pages. Honestly, the word “Chinese” will give you much wider results than these dialect names, but in NYC or San Francisco, you might find the dialect of your choice!  “Zhu ni hao yun!”.

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August 19, 2011

Excerpts from Great Notes Sections

If you do my job, you will see hundreds and thousands of notes sections written by notaries.  Most are very dull and clunky sounding, but a few notaries have really out done themselves and written very classy and entertaining notes.  I have been meaining to write this for months, but there were so many other things to do!
 
Here is one I made up, but never published.
I am a notary public in Egg Harbor, NJ — and I moved here from Broome County, NY.  If my town ever gets hit by a hurricane, we’ll have to change the name to Omelette Harbor.  And Broome county will get swept off the map!
 
Here is one from a North Carolina Notary
I am a native New Yorker with Southern Charm.   When your closing is crucial, you can count on me to be there on time and conduct the signing just as you would, if you could.    (The notary who wrote this really is very patient and charming in real life. I have spoken with him on several occassions)
 
Here is an entertaining excerpt from a California notary
I have personally witnessed more than 4,500 “kitchen table” loan signings. My satisfied clients include individual borrowers, title companies, escrow companies, and nationwide notary signing services. You can rest assured that I have the know-how to seamlessly handle your important documents as well as your borrowers key questions professionally.
 
Here is one I pieced together
I am taking a sabbatical for the rest of the year.  Give me a call next year please! I’ll be available in October — just mark your calendar.

Here is a really professional sounding one from a California notary
Nine years as a notary and 25 years experience in mortgage banking as an Underwriter and Manager.  I am on the approved Notary list of several major Title companies, including First American and the Fidelity Family. Always on time and professional.
 
Here is an Illinois notary who doesn’t mess around
I have twelve years experience as an Illinois notary and signer doing refi’s, reverse, HELOC’s etc. Fees vary per job requirements, $65 to $250. Terms: Net 30 days, $25 late fee after 60 days, $50 collection fee after 90 days.
 
Very Impressive
I do Apostille Processing and I am a Fingerprinting expert, and a Notary / Certified Signing Agent. All of my work is 100% guaranteed – ReDo or Refund – Your Choice. A+ BBB rating. I offer twenty-four hour emergency service. My home is in Manhattan and can usually arrive within the hour. I’m Elite certified by 123notary.com and have E&O Insurance. My web site has genuinely useful information about Notary work, Apostille Processing, Embassy / Consular Legalization and Fingerprinting. I invite you to become one of my Key Clients.
 
Here is part of one from a Los Angeles Notary
For ten years I have served Los Angeles County notarizing: commercial and residential loans, reverse mortgages, first and second mortgages, refinances, helocs, medical records, foreign adoptions, power of attorney, and so on. Apostille, authentication and certification services are also available.
 
This one is a seasoned professional
Fidelity National Title & First American Approved Notary. Background Clearance updated annually. THE best of the best Notary Loan Signing Agents on the Central Coast of California for your client’s requirements, delivering professional, reliable, error free service to your valuable clients that guarantees an accurately signed loan, every time. Co-author “How to Become a Wildly Successful Loan Signing Agent”. * twenty-four hours seven days a week personal service. * Esigning certified; Emailed documents accepted for same day signing! Have laptop/aircard, will travel to your client. * Professional fully trained Signing Agent qualified in all types of loan closings, residential, commercial and reverse mortgage products. * Loan packages can be accepted in all formats. * Highly Competitive Rates. * Top Drawer Concierge Service! 25 years experience, trained to provide a white-glove service unsurpassed by any other mobile notary! I am a proud member of the California Mobile NSA Network!
 
Please also visit
 
Find a notary public in California 

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April 26, 2011

My best teaching experience

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 1:56 am

For those of you who do not know, before I ran 123notary, I had a history. No, not that kind of a history. Oh? That’s not what you were thinking? Well, then what were you thinking? Okay, in any case, I majored in Chinese in college as I had always had a strong urge to learn languages. In High School, I studied classical music a lot because my parents had many connections with music teachers, music schools, etc., and insisted upon it. When I got out of school, I found that there were no jobs that would involve Chinese unless I moved to China or Los Angeles, so I moved to Los Angeles from Boston which was quite a cultural adjustment.

Everyone and everything I knew from back home was no longer there. Even cultural things I took for granted like sarcasm didn’t exist over here. There were no more big Irish guys named Sully who whistled loudly when they wanted somebody’s attention (or said HEY really loudly.) I was surrounded by a California culture where people didn’t care about much of anything. And then there was a pervading gang culture near where I was living with Mexican gangs, gang guys, gang girls, bandanas, tattoos, low-riders, and Chinese kids who knew nothing except this type of environment. Sometimes the gangs would give people lectures right outside my window on the driveway. I remember hearing, “You gotta lot to learn esse! This barrio forgives nothing vato!” Okay, I’m mixing reality with Cheech and Chong, but you get the point.

I tried to get a job doing import export, but with few available jobs and no experience my search was a failure. Seattle and Shanghai had more jobs for people with my skill set, but I had family & friend (only 1 friend) here and was terrified of being alone in some other city. So, I started doing landscape maintenance, something I had done as a child. I realized I only knew how to do easy things and had little or no skill at doing harder landscaping tasks which got me in a little trouble. After that I started tutoring English again. That was something I had done while I was in Taiwan a few years earlier.

Tutoring was rough because people would cancel at the last minute, and the adults were not serious about learning. But, the children were good and proved to be reliable clients since their parents forced education on them (just like my parents forced music lessons on me which helped my life a lot.) After a while, my aunt pressured me to get a teaching credential and be a sub. I worked teaching kids and ESL adult school, and in all different parts of the county. I would drive to Fontana, South Los Angeles, East LA, El Monte, and more. And then it happened. What happened?

I was asked to teach a 10 week summer night school class in downtown Los Angeles. I couldn’t believe they assigned the class to me. Why me? I didn’t ask to teach it. I had very little experience at that district and in general with classroom teaching. I had done tutoring and small classes. Was it because it was a summer class? Were the other teachers on break? Was it because someone dropped out at the last minute? Speculation, speculation, and guess work. So, this class was every night for two and a half months. I got to the class the first day. There were about fifty people. I was overwhelmed. I had never taught a class that size. The room was huge too. It took three weeks to learn everybody’s name. Most of the people were from Mexico, but there were Salvadorians (or as I call them: Salvadortecos or Salvadorenos), Guatemalans (Guatemaltecos), two Koreans (Koreanos is how Mexicans say it), a South Indian, a Russian, and a few others. But, when you teach ESL in Los Angeles, it is generally 90% Latino.

I had learned a little Spanish and was going to learn more at work. Grammar was an issue, and my vocabulary was tiny. I speak Chinese well, but Spanish has always been a challenge even though it’s seven times easier to learn Spanish as an English speaker than it is to learn Chinese. So little by little I learned more Spanish words from my students which I needed for teaching. Because, when you teach a particular verb tense or topic, you need to make sure the slower students are on the same page with you so you don’t lose them.

So, I got to know the class better and better, and got more comfortable teaching them. The subject matter was my favorite: Beginner ESL (English as a second language). As time went on I noticed that there were more and more people in the class. I was disturbed. I didn’t know how these people would fit, and where they would sit. But, I got used to that. Then, I noticed that the population in my class kept growing like a cancer, little by little. I guess word got around that I was a good teacher, or perhaps there were no other options because there is a teacher shortage during the summer. By the end of the class I counted 120 people in my class. They loved me, I had most of their names down, and half the class valued me so much that they were willing to stand for two hours. I have never had an experience like this in my life and I think I should look back with price and gratitude. Because my other gigs of which there were over 100 (which were generally subbing less than a handful of times) were very disappointing and the classes did not love me.

Looking back, I would say that having your own class with a flexible student base is the best. That way new people who love me can join the class and I can accumulate a following of people who like my style.

Close to the end of the class, my birthday came. The students collected money for a huge cake. I was concerned that they were going to spend too much because (1) I like to keep it simple and (2) these were very poor people. After class was over on that day, they unveiled the cake. We had drinks, cake, music, and good conversation. It was somewhat hard to socialize with people who hardly speak English, but we managed. And then it was picture time. Two of the students put cake frosting all over my face and then took a photo of me. The posted a copy of it on the classroom wall so that we would have a happy memory. The principal came in a few days later and congratulated me on having a great class. But, I didn’t do anything special. I was just doing what I always do — I had just stumbled upon really really good luck!

So, that concludes my little spiel about my test beaching experience which incidentally was one of the best experiences of my life. I hope that I have some more amazing life experiences in the future.

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April 24, 2011

Business Licenses

Does your business have a business license?

Having a “real” business like a store or restaurant requires you to have a business license and perhaps some other permits.   Being a notary public is easier.  You don’t need a liquor license unless you want to offer unique wines from Mendoza that you stash in your trunk to your notary clients. It might help them get through a stressful signing, you never know.  But, most notaries do not have a business license, and legally, you should probably have one.

Company names?
Its good to have a notary company name / notary business name.  It gives the impression of professionalism.  Our notaries often put a company name on their listing, but many keep changing the name every several months.  I begin to think that they are not licensed, and they just improvise on the name as they please.  This can get you into a heap of trouble. We already had a threat of a law suit because one notary used someone else’s name (gulp).  Notaries with a company name get about 17% more clicks than those that don’t.  Removing your personal name to replace it with a company name can lose you some brand recognition in the short run though.

Business licenses
Its doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to ge ta business license. Just waltz down to your county clerk’s office with a check and register your business name.  You have to check to see if the name is already in use.  If not, then register your choice of name. Its good to think for a few weeks what you want to name your business, so you can start off with an auspicious name.  Registering your business on a lucky day will help your business for life too, so have a good astrologer pick a lucky day for you with some good constellations. Make sure Mars is in the right house.. or else!  You have to list your business name in one or more newspapers in your area, but the county clerk will take care of that for you.  You fill out a few quick forms and write them a check, and then you are done.

Name ideas
Its sometimes a good idea to have a unique name.  Many companies in our industry have a name so similar to someone else’s name, that when the “other” company does something wrong, the new company is effected by the bad reputation of the other company.  Unique names are good, and names with geographical terms are sometimes a good idea too.  Its best to pick a good name, and then keep it for life.  Many companies like to keep changing their company name, and this causes a lot of confusion for the customers.  There is a train station in Bombay that changed its name three times in the last several years.  I don’t know whether to call it “Fort”, “VT”, or “Victoria Station”, yikes.  I’ll have to call it, “The railway station formerly known as Victoria Station”.  That will not help me when I try to look it up on the internet.

Do names have energies?
The mystics think that names have powerful energies, and that if you pick a good name, that will help your business. Personal names have karma too, and if you want to change your karma, the first thing to do is to change your name.  Number combinations have energies too.  Names also make quite an impression, so if your name seems unique and also gives the client confidence in you, you are on the right track. Considerate Notary Services, Astute Notary, Meticulous Signing Services, Simi Valley Signatures…  These names may be a bit funny, but they are good names in my opinion because of the impression they give.

When you are ready!
Think hard about what type of notary company name / notary business name to get. Ask your friends and your cat or dog what they think too.  Meditate on it.  Then, when you are ready, register your business name!

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April 14, 2011

The Story of 123notary.com

Filed under: Social Media — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 2:21 am

The story of 123notary.com 
It was late on a Friday night in 1999.  I was at a Title office waiting for documents to be ready for a late night signing. It was up in the valley, perhaps in Encino, CA.  In the mean time, the title officer was trying to find a notary in Pagoso Springs, CO.  We were using signingagent.com since that was the only signing agent directory we knew of at the time.  The problem was that there was only one notary in that county who didn’t answer their phone, and there was no way to find notaries in neighboring counties unless you knew the names of those counties.  At that time, you could only look up by county on signingagent.com. 
 
The birth of a vision
This was the birth of my idea to build my own database.  I was going to figure out what all the problems were with the other sites, and create my own with some new and practical features.  The feature that stuck out in my head was neighboring counties.  Its hard to know what counties border a particular county unless you have memorized the geography, or unless you have a good atlas.  These days with mapquest and google maps, that problem is much more easily surmounted, but even those sites are not always easy to use.  The concept of links to neighboring counties is easy for the browser.
 
Neighboring counties
Every county on 123notary has links to neighboring counties. That way, if you can’t find someone to do your job in Lemon county, then you will find a few links to nearby counties such as Lime and Cherry counties.  Sometimes we’ll have up to five links, while other times we will only have one. Remote areas might only have one link, because there is only one county where you would be likely to find anyone based on its higher population.
 
These days we do even more
For the last few years, I have personally gone beyond just listing links to neighboring counties to help people find notary services.  I will list notaries from surrounding counties who service the county being searched for.  I’ll just put them below the locals in the search results, so you find people in a rough order of proximity.  Of course, someone in a neighboring county might be two miles from the notary job, while someone on the other end of the same county might be twenty miles away from the notary job.  But, in the notary business, availability is more important than exact proximity, so this rough system functions well enough.
 
123notary was only for me when it started
The first year 123notary was around, it was designed to promote my personal notary business  for a few counties in southern California for me to advertise my personal notary services.  Yellow Pages were getting too expensive, and I wanted a more cost effective way to advertise.  After a while, I thought it would be better to have others share the cost with me, so I started offering listings to other notaries in Southern California. Then, we covered all of California.  By 2001 we decided to cover the whole United States and started populating the central and eastern states with notaries.  It was grueling hard work to build 123notary, especially since I was doing notaries fifty-five hours a week, and spending another fifteen building 123notary. I had no knowledge of the web business back then and had hardly any money.   All I had was an amazing drive and some great ideas. 
 
Its easier now
Now, when I create new web modules for my sites, or do new promotional programs, I have a decade of experience. I know what to do, and when, and what the most efficient ways of doing everything are.  Nothing beats experience.  But, I’m much more tired these days, and can not do the daily thirteen hour shifts that I used to do back in the day!

.

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January 27, 2011

Miami Vice — a shipment of illegal notary seals

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Sit-Coms — admin @ 10:37 am

CHIEF: Sonny, you need to take care of this. There’s a shipment of illegal Notary seals coming in, but we have no intel on it. Can you handle it?

SONNY: I’m on it. But, I don’t have any reliable sources.

RICO: We’ll use any sources we can get. But, we do have something. Remember Nuggie?

SONNY: Oh God, him again? I’m on it.

(Rico and Sonny travel downtown)

RICO: Let’s get a Cuban cafe first and then find out guy.

SONNY: Deal. I just hope our Ferrari is safe. We’ll keep it in eye distance. Besides it has an alarm.

RICO: Dos cafes cubanos por favor. Y rapido tambien. (Two Cuban coffes, and make it fast!)

(gunshots ring out)

SONNY: Get down….. (pause) I think our plan has a hole in it. Make that a coffee cup with a hole in it. I’ll call it in. (ring ring) Hey, there were gun shots on Sunset BLVD. We have no idea what it was about, but the car sped off and they’re gone now.

GINA: Okay. You can finish your coffee now.

SONNY: How did you know we were having coffee?

GINA: Oh, just a hunch. Call it women’s intuition.

NUGGIE: Hey man, how are my boys doing. The Nug-man has arrived, and arrived in style. Check out my new shades. My new wife bought me these. Ha ha!!! Don’t keep me long because the Nuggie has to Boogie, you dig?

SONNY: We dig. Listen. Do you know anything about a shipment of illegal Notary seals coming into Miami harbor on a freighter in the next few days.

NUGGIE: That all depends on who and how much is asking.

SONNY: Rico, do you have a hundred?

RICO: Here’s two Ben Franklins. This one’s important.

NUGGIE: Oh, allright. Benjamin is doing the asking in repetition. All I know if that a guy named Sanchez is moving some heavy cargo from the Dominican Republic. Word on the street is that they have a seal forging plant over there and the action is hot and humid. You dig?

RICO: Do you know anything about where and when? Or a last name?

NUGGIE: He’s in his late 40’s, Cuban and had a mustache last time I checked. His organization prefers to use fishing boats, but they switch things up quite a bit to keep the authorities guessing.

RICO: Thanks Nuggie, you’ve been a huge help.

SONNY: (ring ring) Gina, do you have any intel on a guy named Sanchez who smuggles using fishing boats?

GINA: Last I heard, he was smuggling fishing boats. What a great cover.

SONNY: Very funny. Do you have anything?

GINA: We have a profile on the guy I think you are talking about. We have names, addresses, and rap sheets.

SONNY: Great, we’ll get the bug van and see if we can pick up some knowledge tapping some phones.

(3 hours later)

VAN GUY: We got the van set up. Sanchez’s crew are in the address we are in front of. They are talking about all types of things. But, they have only mentioned stampers once. I guess by that they mean Notary Seal.

SONNY: Anything about a time or place?

VAN GUY: Nothing yet.

(six hours later)

VAN GUY: (ring ring) We got a time. Noon tomorrow, there’s going to be a transfer from one fishing boat to several inflatable motor boats. Real little ones. They will be carrying the merchandise underwater in bags. If there is any trouble, the seals will sink to the bottom and there will be no evidence unless you have frog guys.

RICO: I know how to dive. I’ll handle this.

VAN GUY: They put a big rock in the bag, so we will have to bring a decompression suit just in case you dive too deep.

TRUDY: Don’t we need a Navy Seal for this, instead of a Notary Seal. It sounds too dangerous for Rico. And where will he hang his suit when he’s diving?

RICO: I’m not worried about that because my wet suit comes with a wet tie, and matching spear gun just in case I need it.

GINA: Hey Sonny, remember that shooting when you were having Cuban coffee? I just found out that was not just a random shooting. That was a competitor of the guy you are chasing named Rubio. They have their own channels for selling fake Notary seals, and are moving in on the supplier.

SONNY: Change of plans guys. We are going to set up a rendevous between Rubio and Sanchez. Either they kill each other, or we can arrest all of them all in one meet. Rico, you pretend to be one of Rubio’s guys and set up the meet. In the ocean. The dress code is wet suits.

RICO: I’m on it.

(nine hours later — at the meet in the ocean. Rubio’s guys try to hijack the merchandise. There is a shoot out. Half of Rubio’s guys are killed and retreat at high speed far away. Sanchez’s guys do not follow. After Rubio’s guys move out, Miami Vice moves in.)

RICO: Freeze, Miami Vice!

(Sanchez’s guys drop the Notary seals into the water. Rico jumps into the water with his spear gun)

VICTOR: Bubble bubble bubble

RICO: You don’t really bubble bubble mean that bubble?

(A secret deal was going on under water. There were five guys in wet suits with underwater guns. But, the Notary seals they were selling were underwater notary seals used by Jacque Cousteau.)

RICO: I’m going to need bubble up, I mean back bubble up. There are fbub-bub-bub-ive of them and only one of me.

SONNY: Damn it. I never thought of that. Ugh!!!!

RICO: But, I brought an underwater charge. I come prepared for this kind of thing mon.

(boom… meanwhile Sanchez’s guys bubble to the surface all disoriented after the underwater blast. Miami Vice has them at gun point. Sanchez puts a gun to his own head because he doesn’t want to go back to jail.

SONNY: Don’t do it. Just put the gun down.

SANCHEZ: I am never going back to jail again. I have had enough. (bang)

SONNY: No!!!!!!!!

After that, the seals were returned to the Florida Notary commission who did not want the seals because they said, “State of Florida, County of Underwater.”

(meanwhile back on Sonny’s boat)

RICO: That was quite a bust. I’ve never seen anything like it. Not in New York, not here. What’s up with your alligator, he is trying to eat his chain.

SONNY: I call it a classic case of “areptile disfunction.”

RICO: Ha ha ha ha ha. Good one.

.

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A Notary travels from Florida to India.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19636

Psych Notary Episode. Did the body die of food poisoning or was he murdered?
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Notaries in cars getting coffee.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18945

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Vietnam War Notaries. A POA for a POW.

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 12:52 am

Back in the 60’s, soldiers were not the only ones sent to Vietnam. Notaries were as well.

One such Notary was talking to another Notary in the plane and asked, “If I like the Beatles, does that make me a Lennonist, a McCartneyist, or an anti-McCarthyist?” The other Notary said, “It makes you a music lover, and probably left-wing. I think we’re fighting on the wrong side.” Speaking of music, on the plane, they had some Cuban-Vietnamese music played with a Viet-Conga drum to keep the rhythm. Then, another Notary commented that Ho-Chi-Minh was not a hoochi mamma, but a ho-chi baba. The discussion moved from dumb jokes to a more serious matter. Names. Some of the humor on the plane came from a book written by the famous Chinese comedian “Foo-Ling” and his wife the nutritionist “Rose Hip.”

So many people in Vietnam have the same names. Half the country is named Nguyen, Tranh, or Duc. How can you tell people apart based purely on the names?

Meanwhile on the front, Vietnamese smugglers were engaged in human trafficking of refugees into Cambodia. Van Winh Vu smuggled regugees in a van (more than just a name) but was caught by an American soldier named Carl Van Schessler. I guess it’s one van for another, or more of a van pool. Then Truc Le Tranh smuggled regfugees in a truck while Tranh had ammunition transported in a compartment of a Train.

Notaries were very fearful of going to their Notary appointments because of all the booby traps. Between road side bombs, pungi sticks hidden under banana leaves and mines. It was like playing dodge ball every step of the way.

THE APPOINTMENT
Harry the Notary was on his way through some rice paddies to Notarize a transaction for a few very large bags of rice which was the local currency. He prayed to God he did not bump into the Viet Cang on his way, or American planes dropping any napalm.

Harry got to his appointment only to find that Tranh Duc Ho was selling twenty 50 pound bags of rice to Tranh Duc Ho. The Notary asked, “Is this some type of a joke?” Tranh #1 said, “No, we just have the same name. That is common around here. See, look at our ID’s. They say the same name. We look similar too.” The Notary said, “Oh, God. Doing Notaries around here is like walking through a mine field.” The Notary decided to thumbprint everyone to keep them honest and make notes about who had a tattoo where or a scar where just to keep the record straight. After the notarization was over, the American military came and confiscated all of the rice since the Vietcong was in the area. Why is life so unfair. Are we the good guys, the bad guys, or what?

Then the Notary went back to the base and talked to another Notary named Sam. Sam had been near where they were dropping Notary Palm. It’s kind of like napalm but has black ink that burns at 2000 degrees. Then, the new weapon for Notaries was filling a pungi stick with Notary ink and shooting ink out of the stick. After this scary conversation they met yet another American who escaped from a POW camp.

A POA FOR A POW

JOHNNY: “I need a POA for a POW.”

HARRY: “I can do that. Do you mean a former POW?”

JOHNNY: “No, it’s for a friend. He wants to have his car managed by his wife back home.”

HARRY: “What happened to your fingers?”

JOHNNY: “They got messed up when I was in The Trang.”

HARRY: “Oh, what did they do to you there?

JOHNNY: “They made me give details of troop locations by sticking bamboo slits under my fingernails.”

HARRY: “Ouch. If you don’t talk do they move you to the basement of the Trang?”

JOHNNY: “The what? No, I didn’t say, “The Trang, I said De Trang. It’s a city in Nam.”

HARRY: “Oh, shows what I know. The Trang sounds like the name of a jungle vietcong prison camp to me, or just a remote jungle.”

JOHNNY: “I don’t know if I can get those guys out while I visit, but at least a notarized POA will do. After it’s notarized, we can see about an escape route. They might have moved location, so we will have to track them and the Notary will have to come along. It’s twenty days on foot. So we will need to bring plenty of food, water, and disinfectant. Are you any good at setting up booby traps?

HARRY: “I know a guy who flies a helecopter shaped like a Notary Seal who taught me a thing or too. I know how to make a mine that looks like a Notary Seal. If you press on the top, then ink flies everywhere. It’s sort of like a science experiment.”

JOHNNY: “Well this trip is not an experiment. One wrong move and you’re dead or lose a leg which in the parts we’re going to is a slow death.”

HARRY: “Well I’m not going to die because I’m special.”

JOHNNY: “For the last two years I’ve been putting pieces of special people in body bags. Everybody’s mother thinks their special.”

HARRY: “You’re the bravest soldier I’ve ever met!”

JOHNNY: “Thanks, I’ll remember that compliment when I’m putting pieces of you in a body bag.”

HARRY: So, how do you think the war is going?”

JOHNNY: “The Vietcong is upset because they have run out of new and creative ways to rip someone’s rib cage out of their body and have failed to find a perfect way to create a booby trap that rips someone in two exact pieces. They tried ripping people’s eyes out of their sockets but were lousy at that. But, they are good at booby traps which is how I lost half of my men. Meanwhile half of our guys capitalize on how weed and heroin are pennies on the dollar over here and in very pure form. That slows their reaction time in battle which is why our kill ratio isn’t what it should be. Meanwhile the Southern Vietnamese army is upset because the price of pedacures has doubled. ”

HARRY: “What are they, a bunch of girls?”

JOHNNY: “Half of them act like girls while in the Vietcong, half of them are girls who could rip your arm out of its socket. One girl called the Apache castrated one of our guys while he was still alive. We hunted her down for three days and assassinated her with a long range rifle. Normally they ambush us, but we turned the tables due to extenuating circumstances.”

HARRY: “What happened to the guy?”

JOHNNY: “He died of blood loss within minutes. Isn’t he lucky?”

HARRY: “Well, let Saigons be Saigons. Okay, let’s visit The Trang and do a POA for a POW.”

JOHNNY: “We leave at 0400 hours. Get some z’s while you can. And we’re going to the jungle near Da Nang, not De Trang.”

HARRY: “Oh, they have a Trang there too?”

JOHNNY: “Never mind.”
.

You might also like:

Notarization in the Trang – a Vietnam War Story.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19652

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January 26, 2011

The Notaries! Having Emmys for Notaries!

With yet another Hollywood awards season and mutual admiration society of back-patting waiting in the wings, it’s time to say enough already! How hard is it to act like other people? I act like I care how you are when I ask, “How are you?” You act like you care how I am when you respond, “How are you?” Where are our awards? Where are our mantel dust collectors that equate with our self-worth? (Does my CableACE Award count? It’s defunct. It better not equate with my self-worth.)

It’s time to shine an overdue light on the people who truly deserve recognition. It’s time the notary publics went public. Move over Emmys, and get ready for… The Notaries!

“I’m Andy Cowan, and I’m here on the beige carpet. It’s The Notaries, you weren’t expecting red? It’s a veritable who isn’t who of never weres, wannabes and probably never will be’s! Oh look, there’s the guy who stamped something I needed him to stamp once for a reason that’s long since escaped me. Who are you wearing?”

“A Sears catalogue original.”

“I should have known. Good luck tonight! Can you tell us a little about your next project?”

“Been promising the wife I’d clean out the garage.”

“We’ll look forward to that. Or at least she will.”

Announcer: “From the entertainment capital of the world… give or take a thousand miles… it’s the first annual Notary Awards! … Here now, your host… Andy Cowan!”

“Thank you. Sorry I’m out of breath. I was on the beige carpet. I’m the pre and actual host. I’m also supposed to clean up later, and beige shows the dirt, so it’s gonna be a long night. Since they also saved by not hiring monologue writers, let’s get right to it, shall we? The nominees for best notary public in a supporting role are… Jim Diggles, in “Sit down, and I’ll stamp that for you” … Maria Isaacs, in “Here’s the paper I stamped for you” … and Larry Kreps, in “This stamping will just take a second” …

And the Notary goes to… Larry Kreps!”

Announcer: “This is Larry Kreps’ first Notary Award. Duh! These are the first Notary Awards.”

Larry Kreps: “Oh, my, this is surreal. Thank you so much! Wow. This simulated gold-plated paper with a stamp on it is kinda heavy! First, let me thank my fellow nominees. I’d mention their names, but I only just heard them a moment ago and didn’t memorize them. I share this award with each of you, but the piece of paper I’m reading this on right now hasn’t been certified, so don’t hold me to that.”

Andy’s kazoo signals him to wrap up.

Andy Cowan is an award-winning writer, producer and performer, whose credits include “Cheers,” “Seinfeld” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” He can be reached through his website, http://upanddownguys.com

Tweets:
(1) From the entertainment capital of the world… give or take a thousand miles… it’s the first annual Notary Awards!

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January 22, 2011

Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports: Learn which companies are involved!

Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports…

For some of you, this is old information that you have already been following. However, many notaries do not have time to read everything that goes on on the forum, and this news about signing companies will be of interest and a convenience to them!  It is hard for me to keep up with what is going on on the forums on a daily basis, but I have noticed that a lot of bad things happened in September 2011.  There were a few loan signing companies that had a reasonable reputation that suddenly stopped paying notaries.  One or more companies was reported to be out of business.  I am going to summarize the more important events of the last month or two here. I will only mention the more noteworthy signing companies here.
 
All Service Notary & Signings
Sept 16 – A notary gives up on trying to collect their bill and hands it over to a collection agency. Additionally, this notary reports the signing company to a credit bureau!  Another notary reports trouble getting paid from this company.  A third notary says, that after a long time, they finally received their check — but, that was in early August. The situation looks like it has deteriorated since then.
 
CRES Closers
One notary says that they are the BEST to work for!  Another says they met his fee and that they were great to work for. A third notary claims that they sent payment super fast!  Wow, it is nice to hear good things about a signing company these days!
 
Equifax Settlement Services
One notary got paid, but says the company says that they will take THREE MONTHS to pay for jobs in the future because they have to wait until the loans fund.  Another notary discusses the letter they sent to the BBB about this company. A third notary discusses the difference in what this company offers different notaries for the same work.  One gets $85, while another is offered $125!
 
FASS – First American Signature Services
Notaries are complaining, but not about payment issues.  One notary was taken off the list because FASS found a less expensive notary.  Back in 2010, FASS took over service for a big Title company and dropped the notary who had been servicing the signings for that Title company.  Another notary feels that they were treated rudely after some sort of argument about “quality issues”.  Although there is a lot of complaining going on here, I don’t see any wrongdoing on the part of FASS. They are just shopping around to find the best notaries for them — and trying to get high quality service as well. America is a free country and nobody is obligated to keep the same notary for life.
 
Final Link
Three notaries have complained that this company doesn’t do a good job of getting back to people. Not returning calls, etc.
 
First Preference Signing
Four notaries all claim in unison that this is the best company that they have ever worked for. 
 
Harvard Abstract
Three notaries are claiming that this company is easy to work for and that they pay quickly.
 
HVR Notaries
Two notaries claim that this is a good company to work for.  One says, “They met my fee”, which is a very good sign these days with all the low balling.
 
Insured Closings
Notaries claim that there have been several reports of BOUNCED CHECKS from this company.  Watch out!
 
National Loan Closers
This company is reported to be asking for $25 to keep notaries on their list. This is causing a lot of disturbance in the notary world.  Notaries feel that companies should be paying them, and not vice versa. 
 
Nations Direct
We have gotten many complaints about low-balling and micromanagement. One notary’s signing was interrupted by a phone call, where she was asked if she was using a blue pen.  On the other hand, it is prudent for a signing company who uses many newer notaries to call and check up on people. Obviously, many of the notaries they hired screwed up and ruined many loans which is the reason for all of the babysitting.  Please try to look at things from the signing company’s perspective. They are trying to get the job done.  Also see: Nations Direct has been around for more than a decade!
 
Nowclosings.com
Many notaries are claiming that this is one of the BEST signing companies they have ever worked for.

N3 Notary
A few notaries are complaining that company has badgered them too much during their signings. 

Pacific Document Services
Checks that they sent out have allegedly gotten LOST in the mail. One notary has filed an official complaint with the FBI to try to get this company shut down. Another notary received a check that BOUNCED.  This is one of the most serious cases I have seen all year!  The opinions expressed here are the opinions of particular notaries and not of 123notary.com.
  
Safir Signing Agents
Multiple notaries are complaining about no-pay and SLOW-PAY.
 
Service Link
This company has lowered their fees, and we have had many complaints from notaries about LOW-BALLING from this company.
 
Superior Closings
The people that run this company have been functioning under four different business names over the course of time.  They are reported to be out of business now.
 
The Notary Biz
Many notaries are discussing whether or not this company is still in business.  One notary had a discussion with the owner who claimed that they were no longer in business.
 
The R&R Group
Several notaries are complaining about non-payment, and one is owed $375 by this company
 
Trans State Services
Many notaries are really happy with this company.  Good working conditions and timely pay!
 
Vital Signings
This company has a good payment record, but many notaries are complaining that there are too many steps involved in the signing process and a lot of babysitting.

Tweets:
(1) Here is a list of companies that bounced checks, had FBI reports, or were notorious late payers to notaries!

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