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August 19, 2011

Excerpts from Great Notes Sections

If you do my job, you will see hundreds and thousands of notes sections written by notaries.  Most are very dull and clunky sounding, but a few notaries have really out done themselves and written very classy and entertaining notes.  I have been meaining to write this for months, but there were so many other things to do!
 
Here is one I made up, but never published.
I am a notary public in Egg Harbor, NJ — and I moved here from Broome County, NY.  If my town ever gets hit by a hurricane, we’ll have to change the name to Omelette Harbor.  And Broome county will get swept off the map!
 
Here is one from a North Carolina Notary
I am a native New Yorker with Southern Charm.   When your closing is crucial, you can count on me to be there on time and conduct the signing just as you would, if you could.    (The notary who wrote this really is very patient and charming in real life. I have spoken with him on several occassions)
 
Here is an entertaining excerpt from a California notary
I have personally witnessed more than 4,500 “kitchen table” loan signings. My satisfied clients include individual borrowers, title companies, escrow companies, and nationwide notary signing services. You can rest assured that I have the know-how to seamlessly handle your important documents as well as your borrowers key questions professionally.
 
Here is one I pieced together
I am taking a sabbatical for the rest of the year.  Give me a call next year please! I’ll be available in October — just mark your calendar.

Here is a really professional sounding one from a California notary
Nine years as a notary and 25 years experience in mortgage banking as an Underwriter and Manager.  I am on the approved Notary list of several major Title companies, including First American and the Fidelity Family. Always on time and professional.
 
Here is an Illinois notary who doesn’t mess around
I have twelve years experience as an Illinois notary and signer doing refi’s, reverse, HELOC’s etc. Fees vary per job requirements, $65 to $250. Terms: Net 30 days, $25 late fee after 60 days, $50 collection fee after 90 days.
 
Very Impressive
I do Apostille Processing and I am a Fingerprinting expert, and a Notary / Certified Signing Agent. All of my work is 100% guaranteed – ReDo or Refund – Your Choice. A+ BBB rating. I offer twenty-four hour emergency service. My home is in Manhattan and can usually arrive within the hour. I’m Elite certified by 123notary.com and have E&O Insurance. My web site has genuinely useful information about Notary work, Apostille Processing, Embassy / Consular Legalization and Fingerprinting. I invite you to become one of my Key Clients.
 
Here is part of one from a Los Angeles Notary
For ten years I have served Los Angeles County notarizing: commercial and residential loans, reverse mortgages, first and second mortgages, refinances, helocs, medical records, foreign adoptions, power of attorney, and so on. Apostille, authentication and certification services are also available.
 
This one is a seasoned professional
Fidelity National Title & First American Approved Notary. Background Clearance updated annually. THE best of the best Notary Loan Signing Agents on the Central Coast of California for your client’s requirements, delivering professional, reliable, error free service to your valuable clients that guarantees an accurately signed loan, every time. Co-author “How to Become a Wildly Successful Loan Signing Agent”. * twenty-four hours seven days a week personal service. * Esigning certified; Emailed documents accepted for same day signing! Have laptop/aircard, will travel to your client. * Professional fully trained Signing Agent qualified in all types of loan closings, residential, commercial and reverse mortgage products. * Loan packages can be accepted in all formats. * Highly Competitive Rates. * Top Drawer Concierge Service! 25 years experience, trained to provide a white-glove service unsurpassed by any other mobile notary! I am a proud member of the California Mobile NSA Network!
 
Please also visit
 
Find a notary public in California 

Find a notary in Illinois

Paralysis Notary Service: Notary companies with funny names

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April 3, 2011

Notarizing an arsonist who blew his fingers off

It was just another afternoon, when I got a call for a notary job from an attorney in downtown Los Angeles. I was to meet the attorney at “Twin Towers” which is our most famous local jail to do the job. When I arrived, he was there on time in the waiting room. The room was filled with Los Angeles’ finest looking women, who apparently won’t date you unless you are a criminal. We had to fill out a small form and give it to the lobby guard. We then went through security and I took out all of the contents of my pockets: cell phone, wallet, coins, jacket, bag, belt, shoes, etc. The guards and parking attendants all knew me because I was a regular. They always went through my bag and asked about all of my various stamps, staplers, staples ( which are considered to be deadly weapons in a prison ), etc. They took my stapler apart to inspect its interior. Luckily I wasn’t strip searched. The guards often missed the refill staples in my which could be dangerous if they got in the wrong hands. Staples can be used to pick locks, and can even be a deadly weapon. Even a small piece of paper can be made into an instrument of death by jailbirds — so I hear.

The hallway of doom
Then, after security, it was time to traverse the hallway of doom. Each step down that lifeless  foreboding hallway had an echo and the distant sounds of metal doors clanking shut pervaded this ominous stretch of endless corridor. It twisted and turned at forty-five degree angles for hundreds of feet. The walls were made of cement bricks and there is always a stark and desolate feeling. For those of you who have never done a jail job before, there is always an ominous long hallway. Every jail has one, or at least should have one just to set the mood. If you go often enough, you will no longer notice the feeling of dread, apprehension, or the echo that each footstep makes on your seemingly endless journey to the elevator. Think of what it feels like to go down that hallway all alone on your first visit!

The elevator
Then, after what seemed like an eternity, we finally got to the elevator. We used the intercom to get permission to visit the fifth floor. We waited for what seemed to the lawyer to be like an attorney-ty. I mean, an eternity. We finally got to the fifth floor. We had to ask the guard to get Gary so we could notarize his signature.

Meeting the inmate
I noticed that Gary had been in an accident. His face was cut up and he was missing parts of his fingers. He had a hobby of making explosives and he had accidentally blown up his apartment and lost one eye, and several fingertips in the process. Terrifying!  But, he was a very gentle soul, kind at heart. He had only nice things to say about the guards. Not surprisingly, I had a bit of trouble getting the required thumbprint. I took a fingerprint of an index finger instead of a thumbprint and made a notation in my journal of which finger on what hand I used.  Then we notarized one or two documents.  We left after that.  They attorney had Gary’s identification.

I went to see the same inmate two months later with the same attorney. The inmate was looking much better. The cuts and scratches were mostly healed. Unfortunately, his fingers hadn’t grown back.

Meeting the jurors by coincidence.
The real irony took place eight months later when I went to notarize two Asian-American residents of West Hollywood. I thought I was just going for a regular notary job. They said they needed documents notarized regarding a court case. They said the case was about a guy who blew up his apartment. I said, “His name wouldn’t happen to be Gary?”.

Their jaws dropped.

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You might also like:

A notary caught some frauds who stole credit info while at a hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20090

Notary accidentally gets arrested for robbing a bank?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6541

Notarizing a female accessory to murder
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8667

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