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May 20, 2014

Dress British, Think Yiddish

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Ninja Theme Articles,Popular on Facebook (A little) — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:22 am

Dress British, Think Yiddish
Long ago, about half a century (honest), I was given those four words as the secret to success in business. The same sage advice applies equally to both sexes; to all races and, well, to everyone. A very compact and easy to remember slogan – its simplicity hides a multiplicity of actions that you should consider. It’s time for me to delve into those four simple words.

Dress British – it does not mean that you need to purchase a wardrobe from the UK. The words acknowledge that the British are well renown for dressing impeccably. Clothes make the (wo)man. You do not need an expensive wardrobe to look like the professional you are. You do need immaculately clean and wrinkle free attire. Are you a fugitive from the barber shop? Is there something about your appearance that, at a glance, is highly memorable? When I was in the corporate environment we often had “dress down” days on Friday. However, management would remind us that “dress down” is not to be confused with “dress clown”.

I’m not going to insult you with a litany of the obvious. I also take offense when receiving a signing assignment that asks me to check if my finger nails are clean. But there are subtleties that are worth mentioning, especially if you aspire to dress British. Your attire should be subdued and somewhat bland, the borrower should be paying attention to what you are saying; not what you are wearing. Your professional “uniform” should be changed out of the moment you return home; replaced by “home attire”. True, you will change clothes often; here is a little tip on how to handle that. My work pants have two cell phone cases on the belt, wallet and billfold in the back pockets, business cards and tiny notary stamp in front left pocket, and my current promotional item in my front right pocket. I just hang the pants “loaded” rather than unloading the items. Thus, the pants are ready loaded to put on and I don’t have to look for items.

Think Yiddish – no you are not being asked by http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com to learn a new language. At the risk of offending some of my Jewish readers; the words translate to “keep an eye on the money”. You are working to make a Profit. Not just to receive revenue. Doing a lowball job that, after your expenses nets “chump change” is not working for Profit. Know your expenses and set a realistic fee for your professional skills, time and efforts. I used the term “nets”, it implies that you actually receive payment. Run your business as a business. The accumulation of toxic accounts receivables is to be actively avoided. Carry a “duds” list of firms that must PayPal (or similar) prior to printing – and within 15 minutes of their call to you. Strictly limit their “I’ll have to get back to you” to protect your calendar. If you later discover their last check was issued when Hoover was President contact them. Send them a screen shot of the bad reviews you found online; with the choice of immediate payment or you must relinquish the assignment. It’s valid to reply to “you took it you must do it” with “I took it prior to learning about your terrible reputation”. Unpleasant yes, but worse is dunning for your cash and being stiffed.

Some other types of assignments should prepay. The objective is to eliminate risk. A prime example is an assignment at a hospital. Make it clear that the payment received is for best efforts within the bounds of legality. If the patient is unconscious or not available; the fee was earned because you made the trip. Nobody, repeat nobody, else is looking out for your “bottom line”. It’s up to you to be wary of situations that might not proceed smoothly – shift the “risk” to your client; but make the rules very clear prior to accepting any money.

Thus, the ancient advice given to me of “Dress British, Think Yiddish” has served me well for a very long time. Few are the long drives only to find nobody home; as they found a cheaper notary and did not bother to call me. It’s interesting how diligent folks become about having government issued photo ID available when they prepaid for my visit. Again, it’s vital that you communicate the “rules of engagement” to your client. Neither giving nor receiving “surprises” makes for a smooth transaction, pleasant to all.

Tweets:
(1) Half a century ago, I was given these words as a secret to success in business! Dress British, Think Yiddish!

.

You might also like:

Index of information about documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

Compilation of posts about notary etiquette
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20505

Would you accept a signing without a confirmation?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22588

How to negotiate signing fees like a pro
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19198

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November 25, 2011

Payment terms – set by the Buyer or Seller?

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: — admin @ 9:11 am

Payment terms – set by the Buyer or Seller?

As often discussed “in the old days” the “Closer” had “pickups” and earned a significantly higher fee than current signing agents. Sure they took risk, but the higher fee (often several hundred dollars) made up for the few that did not fund…..

Fast forward to today. Notaries are the “seller” of their “signing agent services” and the buyers are Signing Services, LO’s, Title companies, Escrow companies, etc.

In every other case that I know of – it is the SELLER who sets the payment terms. The seller / service provider sets how and when they are to be paid. Common sellers are Ebay merchants, Exxon, McDonalds, your dentist, even the babysitter. As the BUYER in almost every case – you make payment “up front” prior to getting the service or merchandise. There are exceptions; when you leave your car for service, you pay when you pick up the car. Or, you don’t get the car and a “mechanics lien” kicks in and the car is either taken or held till payment is made.

What baffles me is the supposed “industry standard” whereby notaries are expected to up front expenses, services, and professional time; in the “hope” of later payment. Some, actually as I read the various posts, many – are never paid.

As mentioned the high fee true “closer” was paid at closing, and “on the HUD” – paid according to law – on time, with other disbursements.

With the proliferation of, to phrase it gently, “problem receivables”; I just don’t understand why so many notaries do not require “up front” payment. Almost all of my individual (non-signing) work is received in advance. My standard answer as to “why in advance” is that it is dangerous for me to go from place to place adding cash – it’s much safer for me to be paid by credit card. “Why in advance?” – because many cards often fail clearance. I tell clients that they receive a nice receipt from PayPal – and I receive a scheduling notification. Simple, clean and effective.

I require the same of all but the highest rated signing related work. Unless they have the best of 123 AND Rotary feedback – it’s in advance or I decline the job. I would not be able to maintain this policy if it was costing me a big chunk of work – but it is NOT. With “pay in advance” I can accept work from the WORST “duds” that most would turn down due to their “no pay / slow pay” reviews. That’s not a problem when the money is already in the account. Why would they do such an about face – because they are desperate to farm out the job to keep THEIR client happy. Soooooo, don’t have a “won’t take work from dud list” – have a PayPal account – and insist the dud’s prepay!

I have brought this subject up in various postings. Again I urge all to open a PayPal account and request/require advance payment. It greatly helps to have a website that provides assurances about your integrity.

It is the seller not the buyer who establishes the terms of the sale. You are selling your services; “they” are buying them. Putting up with the various delays, deductions, and out and out ripoffs makes as much sense as pulling into an Exxon station and asking them to fill the tank and “invoice” you. BTW: using a credit/debit at Exxon is still paying Exxon in advance – just not with cash.

Kenneth A Edelstein
Mobile Notary, Apostille / Legalization Processing & Fingerprinting
http://www.kenneth-a-edelstein.com

Please also see:

2018 Good Signing Companies – a thorough list
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21091

Bouncey Bouncey Paypal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21046

Protecting yourself with a contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2593

How far do you go to push for payment terms?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22590

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February 1, 2011

How to get paid by out of biz signing companies!

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Popular on Linked In,Tips for Getting Paid — Tags: , , — admin @ 8:55 am

Many notaries ask us how they can get paid by signing companies. Dealing with signing companies can be tricky. But, there are some basic rules of thumb you need to understand.

(1) You need to screen companies before you work for them.
That way you avoid the really bad ones and cut your losses. No notary gets paid 100% of the time, but if you avoid bad companies, you will raise your percentage for how often you get paid. Notary Rotary and 123notary have excellent resources in our lists of signing companies and the forum. You can read the gossip about hundreds of companies before you get involved. Stick you toe in before you jump if you don’t want to get in trouble!

(2) Don’t give too much credit to companies
Notaries get in trouble when they let a company rack up a huge bill. You need to keep track of the payment regularity for each company who you work for. If someone is delinquent on even one payment, don’t work for them until they clear that up. You need to keep your personal records for all signing companies on your person at all times just in case they call offering you work. I wouldn’t offer more than $400 credit to companies with a good rating on our list of signing companies. Don’t offer more than $200 credit to others who are either not ranked, or have mediocre rankings. If they want more work from you, they can paypal you funds up front or pay faster. No money, no honey!

(3) Visit our resources page.
There is a “how to make sure you get paid” page in our resources page. In that page there is a letter from hell which is a template for a demand letter. It works most of the time. But, if the company is out of business, even our demand letter might not work. Don’t get strung along to that point. Settle your finances quickly so that you don’t end up with a company owing you $3000 who is out of business. Keep track, and stay out of trouble.
http://www.123notary.com/notary-public.asp

(4) Your attitude makes a big difference
When I talk to notaries who have trouble getting paid, I notice a few things. First of all, all notaries have trouble getting paid from time to time. But, if a company is low on funds and can only pay a few of the notaries they owe money to, they will pay the ones they intend on using in the future. If you are a bad notary, or are a headache to deal with, you are LESS likely to get paid. Keep that in mind. Be pleasant and professional. One guy who didn’t get paid interrupted me each sentence. I couldn’t finish my thought without being interrupted. No wonder he didn’t get paid. The signing company must have gotten complaints about him. That is not a legitimate excuse not to pay him, but signing companies typically don’t care about what is legitimate or not! They do what they feel like.

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January 22, 2011

Cattle call Notary offers

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,NSA Pricing, Fees & Income — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:29 am

Cattle Call Notary Offers
Do you Moo? Actually it’s more of a sheep call than a cattle call. Cattle are rather large and both genders can be a handful when riled, ask any cowhand. I would have preferred to title this blog “Sheep Call Notary Offers”, but the commonly used term will suffice, and it worked to get your attention; as you can’t deny that you are indeed reading this. Sheep are wonderful animals, so gentle and trusting. They baaahh a bit when you shear their wool, but that’s the extent of their complaining. Unlike cattle that like to roam individually, the sheep tend to herd together; they are so easy to manage! I’m sure some are aware of “leg of lamb” and “mutton chops”, but they choose to ignore their ultimate fate.

I just received still another of the Sheep Call notary offers. It has the usual “we pay xx$”; really? I love our free market democratic form of government. There is nothing wrong with some firm sending me a solicitation to buy their product for xx$. But the reverse offends me. By reverse I am referring to solicitation for my services that try to price set for me. They got it back asswards. It is the seller who sets the price and the payment terms. With my notary services I, not they, am the seller. I set the price and payment terms. To put it bluntly, it’s my way or the highway.

My name is http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com not “Undisclosed Recipients”. My self image, regular readers already know this; is more like a Lion than a Lamb. Many prefer to deal with docile manipulateable sheep. I know, when the rent is due you are against the wall and tend to shed your Lion’s attire for a cloak of wool. The callers are very astute at voice reading and want to be able to control their notary. Sometimes to a level of detail that goes beyond the offensive. If you absolutely must “play lamb” for a while, so be it. But work quickly at formulating a plan that allows you to shed the wool and return to Lion attire.

Back to the offensive solicitations. My general response is to state my fee and that I am available for the assignment. I add that PayPal payment is required prior to printing the edoc. That is a real “turn off” to the bottom fisher. Actually I find my response much more efficient than asking for an “unsubscribe”. I don’t want to be bothered, or offended by receiving such tripe. Truth to tell, sometimes I step a bit “over the line” in my response. I have a cute cartoon graphic called KMA.JPG. Sometimes I send it as a response to cattle calls. The acronym’s first letter stands for the word “kiss”. If you want a copy just send me an email. It would be great if all notaries sent the soon to be infamous kma.jpg in response to these lowballers.

Sure we are all notaries. But, poise, character, image, and deportment differentiate us. Your feeling of self worth, backed by your training and skills are what sets you apart. The fact that you are a member of 123notary.com is a strong indication that you, unlike most notaries; really know what you are doing. There is a good chance that your 123notary.com listing is the reason that you were included in the email directed to the flock of sheep. But, show them wrong!

Frankie Valie and the Four Seasons recorded “Walk Like A Man” (or Woman) and that is what you should be doing. Cattle / Sheep call emails are mass attempts to demean notaries. They are an offer for bottom dollar, collection grief, late docs and an extended lesson in being micro managed. The only thing these people deserve is what the herd leaves behind when it passes.

You might also like:

Read about lowball notary fees
http://blog.123notary.com/?s=lowball

Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

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January 20, 2011

Notary Industry Standards According to Ken

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , — admin @ 11:24 am

“It’s an Industry Standard”, sayeth Suppository Signing Service (SSS) when insisting that I accept payment on the 45th workday after the next lunar eclipse. Usually the “defense/attack” of industry standard is used to support an unfair/immoral situation; one that most likely will be “going away soon”. Slavery was an industry standard. Women not having the right to vote was an industry standard. The inclusion of cocaine in Coca Cola was an industry standard. I am sure you can add many currently unjust and destined to disappear practices to the list.

Just who decides what “Industry Standards” are? That’s simple – those (currently) in Power. They are saying that “it should be because it is”. Really? Change for the better is the history of and most basic philosophy of our great nation. Twelve year old children working 14 hour days in coal mines was an industry standard. IS (Industry Standards) change all the time. Unjust laws are changed, oppressed workers form unions, and civil/lawful peaceful protest leads to abolishing IS.

Thus, when SSS wants to “stick me” with their IS; I tell them that their IS statement is obsolete. The current IS is paying via PayPal “up front”. That is MY IS and they can “self administer” their assignment if they are “sticking” to their outdated concept of notary payment IS.

The issue is bigger than just payment. There is an outdated IS perception of the notary as being a “dumping ground” for various tasks. The IS of loading the doc with endless pages of survey, un-necessary FAX requests (not immediate funding, eg: package has 3 day recession), baby monitor calling; the list is practically endless. We are an industry, notaries are the first line of defense against fraud; our task is honorable and necessary. The vast majorities of us are highly skilled and know an Ack from a Venue. The IS of treating us like fools is coming to an abrupt end.

There are many ways to “bounce back” an IS attack. Ask precisely where that IS is codified. Yup, it’s only in the speaker’s mind; because that is the way they would like things to be. You don’t have to accept their IS – TELL THEM YOURS. I have had condescending calls from SSS telling me “you must accept our terms” – really? Not me. And, I sincerely hope the same will be true of you.

The IS statement is just a lot of hot air, being blown in your direction. Why? Because often that tactic works. Many don’t like to “stand out” and wish to swim with the school and fly with the flock. But when that school is heading toward the fisherman nets, when the flock is coming within shotgun range of the hunters – it’s time to change course. Their IS puts all the advantages on their side. You are playing poker with your cards being double sided, and their cards show you nothing.

We all know what is fair and just. Turning the IS “bs” around should not be our objective. We just want to eliminate being exploited. None of us wish to collect our fee and do an inept job. But we are fed up with an endless list of “additional requirements” that come with the package that were not disclosed when offered the assignment. When I mention this I am told it’s an IS. Well. My IS is to do what I agreed to do when setting my fee. Also the IS of “fee blackmailing” to require notaries to complete “I will be legally responsible if it does not fund” and similar nonsense is a thing of the past.

Most of us are one person business entities. We, lacking a true representative association that looks out for us; must form and enforce our own, fair, and just – Industry Standards.

You might also like:

My interpretation of how the Notary industry went South
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16500

The Notary industry is getting more professional
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15987

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The debate over what goes at the top of your notes section.

Filed under: Your Notes Section — admin @ 8:56 am

We have so many different types of notes sections out there, it is hard to know what is best. Some people emphasize their certifications, title companies they are on the approved list for, or types of loans they know how to sign. All of this is good information, but how do you win the game as far as creating a winning notes section. I compared high placed listings and also compared stats for Notaries in the same geographical areas and learned something. So, we have some answers!

As a general rule, what I found to be true is that my semicolon system of punchy sales points is the best way to format the top of your notes section if you want to get clicked on. Just put your most salient features at the top like this:

“Fluent Spanish; 123notary & Notary2Pro Certified; Apostilles; Last Minute Okay; Experienced with REO, Reverse, Construction, Investment Loans, Buyer & Sellers, Debt Consolidations…”

Notice how concise my points were. They have to fit in a small space because the top of your notes shows up on the search results page, and a goot top of your notes section will entice lots of clicks! here are some other points about what info could go near the top of your notes.

Adjectives & Fluffy Information
Telling the world what a great person you are and making lists of adjectives such as reliable, responsible, experienced, professional doesn’t get you anywhere. That is NOT information — it is unverifiable fluff. Being friendly, or people oriented are better self-descriptions as not all people claim to be friendly. Having a background profession such as customer service or elder-care can help you verify how patient and caring and good with people you really are. Prove it — don’t claim it! Rambling in your notes section about how you go everywhere and do any type of signing once again is not information. Stick to specifics and helpful information.

Any Type of Signing
I compared a metro where there were many types of notes sections. The one that says they do “any type of signing” did the worst. Tell us a list of at least six types of financial packages you know how to sign, i.e. Refinances, Purchases, REO, Reverse Mortgages, Helocs, Construction, Time-Shares, etc.

Lists of types of loans
In one particular metro I compared the top eight notes sections. The one who had a long and specific list of types of loans signed got the most clicks. The one who mentioned how many years they were a signing agent and then listed specifics was the next best.

Unrelated Experience
We had a guy who was a fireman. He mentioned this at the top of his notes section. That is better than leaving it blank, but his click average was far down the list.

Taking Paypal and Credit Cards
Here is something unusual to add to your notes section. I like it. But, the stats found this listing to be average in terms of clicks.

Full-Time
In another area where we compared notes, a Notary claiming to be full-time did above average.

Radius
A Notary listing who mentioned his radius did much better in terms of clicks than other Notaries right above or below him on the list. Radius is a specific piece of information that people can put their finger on.

Approved List
If you are on a white glove list or approved list of a Title company, that is a very good piece of information to add. We compared a few approved Notaries who mentioned it at the top of their notes who did substantially better than the others in similar positions in the same area.

Guarantee
We have very few Notaries making guarantees. However, the one who I analyzed who does have a money-back guarantee does better than the others in his area.

Repeating your Name or Hours
People can see your name and your 24 hour icon already and don’t need to see it again in your notes. You are taking up space at the top of your notes section where you could write something else. Dont’ waste space. Put your selling spots up top.

Certifications & E&O
It is good to mention this in your notes section, but not at the top of your notes section unless you can make it concise.

Prompt & Courteous
These adjectives do not get you clicks. Anyone can claim to be prompt and courteous. Let your work prove it, but let your notes inform people about something more substantial.

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January 13, 2011

Notary Jobs: None Bad, All Bad, Some Good

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Notary Fees & Pricing,Popular on Facebook (A little) — Tags: — admin @ 12:23 pm

Notary Jobs: None Bad, All Bad, Some Good
As is often the case I use an unusual title to perk your interest in my current installment. This one focuses on what assignments you actually accept. Yes, it’s you who determines what you do. They make “offers” you have the final decision. Of course when they “walk in” to a place of public accommodation your local laws probably prohibit you from refusing service without a good reason. But, as mobile notaries; our assignments are generally offered over the phone or via email; we are free to accept or decline.

Actually reaching an agreement to None is bad for business; you will have no revenue. If you are a mobile notary that’s probably not the situation you are looking for. The reverse is also true. Accepting All offers, though sometimes tempting; will in the long run be bad for your “bottom line”. A lowballer will never forget your acceptance of a 55$ edoc fee. “Once they see how good a job I do they will be willing to pay more” – that’s a pipe dream.

So, most of us live in the land of Some. Prior installments have discussed the often humorous aspect of some tendered offers. Hopefully, or should it be hopelessly; few of us are willing to drive 150 miles, in the middle of the night, thru a snowstorm; for the princely sum of 75$. Offers of that type remind me of a phrase used when I worked at a brokerage firm with a pet bull. “The cows may come and the cows may go; but the bull is here to stay”.

We need to actively filter the call/email to determine, quickly, the essence of the offer. If you don’t know the what, when and where; merely knowing the dollar amount, is inadequate to make the accept or decline decision. Unless, of course, the offer is for a very low dismissible fee. You need to get the real specifics, nothing can be vague, and nothing can be assumed. I once accepted an offer “in New York” assuming they were referring to within the city. Nope, they wanted me several hundred miles north of the city, hours away. Was it a misunderstanding? Or bull?

Be it misunderstanding, or bull, or a “change” in the specifications; how do you respond. What would be your reaction to the following scenario? They offer your standard rate for an edoc that is not too far from you. They say it’s about 125 pages and there are no special requirements (because you asked). You receive the confirmation and await the docs. Finally the docs arrive and the top page stresses the need to print 3 sets of the 185 page package. One set is for borrower. The other two sets are to be fully executed, and both faxed back “for approval” and when approved a pair of FedEx labels will be sent for shipment. You are also required to remain with the borrower until your faxing is approved. Probably the SS did not know the additional tasks, and, let’s assume relayed accurately all they knew.

Are you stuck with a wet baby on your lap? Of course not, it’s “bounce back” time; or they must greatly increase the fee. I would require an immediate PayPal full payment; fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. It’s very hard to actually receive at a later date a fee that was raised from the initial offer. The “miscommunications” is not your fault, or problem.

Thus, even when you take care to select Some, bad things can happen. It is how you react, and what you now demand (yup demand – if they want you to stick with it); that determines if you will be exploited or paid fairly for the work involved. Don’t let “their” problem become yours.

.

You might also like:

Nobody wanted the Notary job
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16469

Protecting yourself with a contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2593

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January 10, 2011

Trouble getting paid? Have you tried our demand letter from hell?

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 1:10 am

Notaries complain all day long about how hard it is to get paid. The new complaint is that there are companies who will pay promptly, but not unless you bug them around 30 days after the signing. But, what about companies who just won’t or just don’t pay? First of all, research all signing companies on 123notary.com/s or Notary Rotary BEFORE accepting a job from them. If you work for known offenders, you will likely not get paid. Asking for paypal up front works for certain experienced notaries, but might not work for you. It is worth trying. But, what about after the fact?

Use our letter from hell!
Our letter from hell threatens signing companies in all sorts of horrifying ways that makes their skin crawl. This letter was composed based on the advice from many of our most seasoned veteran notaries from around the country. If this doesn’t get them to pay, they are either completely out of business. There is no 100%, but our letter comes as close to 100% for getting you paid that exists.

Testimonial

Just to let you know, your letter works and got me paid for a signing I was ready to write off.
Erwin

We have received other testimonials, but we didn’t publish them, and they are lost somewhere in my email account!

Links

Scary results when someone uses our demand letter from hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2006

Template for our famous demand letter
http://www.123notary.com/howto-get-paid-signing-agent.htm

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January 2, 2011

National Loan Closers

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: , , , — admin @ 5:31 am

Here is what Notaries are saying about this outfit.
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3755

Ollie
“Like many of you, our business relationship with NLC started out being
amicable.
However, we just learned that they pay every 61 days–at least for us.
This is called floating; which means instead of your income producing for you (like interest earned), it is producing for them.

We are proponents of receiving our fee the same disbursement day as the buyers and sellers.
The industry normal currently is ‘net 30’. What should be the norm is interest earned on the fee due from the day of disbursement on all completed assignments.
What we will do for companies like NLC is accept assignments by PAYPAL!”

Shannon
“I recently received then declined a signing. When prompted to “select” my fee, I was unable to find a fee greater than $85.00. While certainly there are assignments that might be done for that price (or even less), a loan signing is typically never less than $100 and with printing and other requirements much more likely to be closer to $200.

If indeed your maximum price per signing is $85.00, then I would ask that you remove me from your mailing list and system altogether. Even as a novice Notary back in 2003, Loan Signings in Orange County paid $150. [either way, gas is $4/gal]

I own and operate three (3) Mobile Notary businesses and personally service six Southern California counties. I carry $1MM in Errors and Omissions insurance that blankets my businesses and am NNA and DOJ background Checked and a Certified Notary Signing Agent. I have personally signed over 13,000 loans since 2003. I am truly an expert at what I do. I’d love to hear from you again when your pricing better reflects the value of my services.”

Diana
“BEWARE OF NLC!!!! They are full of excuses when it comes time to pay!! It has been over 60 days for 2 jobs I done for them and No payment.. But I keep getting their “pay policy” emailed!! Of course, it says I should have been paid..LOL.. I guess their not looking at the dates!. I for 1 will Never work for them again.. They are on My Black List!! Good Luck everyone!!”

ldelrey
“I have been with NLC since last year always paid on time, however, this year has been a night mare, I’m still waiting for payment from Jun 8, 11, 12, 2012.I have send the invoice via email 20 times and also call. We are sending checks out by the end of the week…I have not done any closing for July-Thank God…”

.

You might also like:

New Signing Companies
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=new

Signing Company Gossip Feed
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=gossip

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January 1, 2011

A 2nd Date With jeremy

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 12:05 am

A 2nd date with Jeremy

Sealia and Jeremy hit it off, so much on their first date, it was time for a sequel. In fact, they had gotten to know each other so well, that if they were notarizing each other, they would say “Personally known” instad of using satisfactory evidence to identify the signer.

Sealia: “We know each other so well, we can complete each other’s Jurat verbiage”
Jeremy: “I know!”

So, this dynamic duo decides to see the movie, “A Case of Mistaken Identity”. It is a movie about someone who was notarized using a stolen ID card. The police were informed, and then arrested the wrong person. In any case, Jeremy asked
what type of rating the movie had, such as “G”, “PG”, “R”, 2 thumbs up, etc. Sealia replied that the movie got four stars on Notary Rotary.

The couple drove to the theater and parked. Jeremy wanted to use a credit card to purchase tickets.
The ticket lady said, “May I see some ID please?”
Jeremy misheard her and thought she asked the name of the movie he wanted to see.
Jeremy said, “A case of mistaken identity”
Ticket Lady, “No, there’s nothing wrong with your identity, the picture on this ID looks just like you, and your eyes really are blue — hold on, let me take a closer look — yup…”
Jeremy: “No, not the ID, the movie”
Ticket Lady, “Oh, so you mistook the identity of the movie!”
Jeremy: “No, I mistook what you said when you asked for my ID”
Ticket Lady, “Never mind, your credit card and ID are fine… what movie would you like to see?”
Jeremy: “Two tickets for A case of mistaken identity”
Ticket Lady, “Here you go! Enjoy the show!”

Then, the couple go to the consession stand. They see all of the popcorn and other treats, and ask if they have any good consessions. The attendant said, “We actually have notary consessions — we have a voucher that states that if the notary makes a mistake, that the return trip to correct the mistake is free as a consession.” Then, Jeremy asks, “Does that consession voucher come with a complimentary bucket of popcorn?” Then, the attendent responsded, “Yeah, for another $6.25, I’ll make that consession.”

Then, our conceded (but, not conceited) couple proceeded to get seated. Then, the lights were dimmed, and the movie began.
Jeremy: “Oh no, what if the ticket lady gave me back the WRONG ID? I better check my wallet!”
Sealia: “You are paranoid, I saw that she gave you back the correct ID, and your Credit Card!”
Jeremy: “Next time, I’m paying for the movie using paypal up front, like Ken gets paid for his signings — It’s much easier.”

Then the movie starts. They get to the point of the movie where the very best scene happens — well, the best scene according to Jeremy. The scene where they show the sworn Oath. Then a big fat guy tries to walk across the row in front of them to his seat. Jeremy is livid that fatso would prevent him from seeing the Oath. So, Jeremy gets out of his seat, and sticks his head to the left of Fat Albert, and then when Albert moves to the left, Jeremy stuck his head to the right.

Movie seer: “Hey, do you mind?”
Jeremy: “He’s blocking my favorite scene!”
Movie seer: “Well, I want to see the Oath too, buddy”
Jeremy: “You want an Oath? I’ll give you an Oath… I SWEAR I will if you don’t shut up!”

They finished the movie. The police arrested the wrong guy, but after they fingerprinted him, they realized that the real criminal was still on the

loose. So, they let the falsely arrested guy go. Then, our duo walks down past Mann’s Chinese theater in Hollywood and see handprints and signatures. But, there are no Acknowledgments for the signatures! If we see some wet cement, we need to put a mold for an Acknowledgment form in the cement! We’ll put it with an imprint of my embosser next to Roy Rogers signature, that will trigger a reaction!

Next it was time for a hike in Griffith Park. We went to hike to the Hollywood sign.
Sealia: “This would be a great place to notarize — you sign next to the Hollywood sign!”
Jeremy: “Why not notarize the Hollywood sign itself?”
Sealia: “Wow, you think big. You can do that?”
Jeremy: “No”

ring-ring
Jeremy: “123notary, this is Jeremy”
Caller: “Yeah, you have my named spelled wrong on my listing!”
Jeremy: “You are interrupting my date to tell me this? Couldn’t you just send me an email? I’m not next to a computer right now”
Caller: “Never mind, I’ll call Carmen”
Jeremy: “Carmen cannot solve that problem either. Just send me an email”
Caller: “In that case I’ll call Sally”
Jeremy: “This conversation is over!”

Meanwhile, the NNA hiking group was walking up the hill, getting a guided tour of the Hollywood sign area. They gave a speech where they named the Notary of the Year. They called Jeremy to stand in front of the sign and said, “We appoint you, Brad Mulligan as Notary of the Year!”

Jeremy said, “I”m sorry, but I am not Brad. I think we have a case of mistaken identity!”

Tweets:
(1) Sealia & Jeremy got to know each other so well, that if they were notarizing each other, they would say “Personally Known.”
(2) (at the movies during the Oath scene) You want an Oath? I’ll give you an Oath. I swear I will if you don’t shut up!
(3) “We know each other so well, we can complete each other’s Jurat verbiage”

You might also like:

My date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4473

123notary behind the scenes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2499

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