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November 12, 2011

Texas Notary Law and Journal Thumbprints

Notary Public Texas: Texas Notary Public Law and Journal Thumbprints
 
I am a person who likes to take precautions. Life is more fun when you have less disasters, right? Disasters are more likely to happen when you don’t take precautions, right?  Today, I was visiting our Facebook profile, which I generally do every day or two.  I notice an interesting response to one of my posts about how essential journal thumbprints are for your safety as a notary public in any state!  However, one lady wrote that the National Notary Association now counsels Texas Notary Public members (Texas notaries who are clients of the National Notary Association) NOT to take journal thumbprints due to house bill 3186.  This notary claims that the mentioned bill states that a biometric identifier (such as thumbprints captured for a commercial purpose may be disclosed only under certain circumstances and must destroyed within a certain amount of time.
 
I am not sure if I agree with the National Notary Association on this one.  But, on the other hand I am not an attorney and don’t give legal advice. I will say this though:
 
(1) If you are a notary in Texas, or any other state, and one of your signers is accused of identity fraud or forging a signature, without a thumbprint, you can not prove that they were the one that really appeared before you.  Picture identification is really easy to fake.  China has many experts who will sell you a professionally made fake for US$200.  You might end up in court for a week because you didn’t have a journal thumbprint.
 
(2) Thumbprints in journals are NOT taken for commercial purposes, but are part of a notary public’s official job in their official capacity. Notaries are offering a service which they may or may not be charging for, and the thumbprint is only a security measure used in conjunction with the service. Nobody is “Selling” a thumbprint in the notary public business. 
 
(3) A notary journal is the EXCLUSIVE property of the notary in Texas and in any other state that allows Journals.  Only people making inquiries about particular notarizations may  have access to a particular journal entry and this qualifies as disclosure only under certain circumstances.
 
(4) As far as destroying journal thumbprints, that is up to the county recorder who receives your journals at the end of your term. It is THEIR property when you end your term, and up to them what to do with the thumbprints.  Keeping thumbprint records during your term seems legal unless a specific law says you can’t keep them this long.  The thumbprints are to protect the public from fraud and are not used frivolously or shared with the public in any way.
 
In any case, if you are a Texas notary public, you need to be familiar with the notary laws of Texas, and that is your responsibility. Please take my commentary as opinions, because that is exactly what they are.

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April 26, 2011

My best teaching experience

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 1:56 am

For those of you who do not know, before I ran 123notary, I had a history. No, not that kind of a history. Oh? That’s not what you were thinking? Well, then what were you thinking? Okay, in any case, I majored in Chinese in college as I had always had a strong urge to learn languages. In High School, I studied classical music a lot because my parents had many connections with music teachers, music schools, etc., and insisted upon it. When I got out of school, I found that there were no jobs that would involve Chinese unless I moved to China or Los Angeles, so I moved to Los Angeles from Boston which was quite a cultural adjustment.

Everyone and everything I knew from back home was no longer there. Even cultural things I took for granted like sarcasm didn’t exist over here. There were no more big Irish guys named Sully who whistled loudly when they wanted somebody’s attention (or said HEY really loudly.) I was surrounded by a California culture where people didn’t care about much of anything. And then there was a pervading gang culture near where I was living with Mexican gangs, gang guys, gang girls, bandanas, tattoos, low-riders, and Chinese kids who knew nothing except this type of environment. Sometimes the gangs would give people lectures right outside my window on the driveway. I remember hearing, “You gotta lot to learn esse! This barrio forgives nothing vato!” Okay, I’m mixing reality with Cheech and Chong, but you get the point.

I tried to get a job doing import export, but with few available jobs and no experience my search was a failure. Seattle and Shanghai had more jobs for people with my skill set, but I had family & friend (only 1 friend) here and was terrified of being alone in some other city. So, I started doing landscape maintenance, something I had done as a child. I realized I only knew how to do easy things and had little or no skill at doing harder landscaping tasks which got me in a little trouble. After that I started tutoring English again. That was something I had done while I was in Taiwan a few years earlier.

Tutoring was rough because people would cancel at the last minute, and the adults were not serious about learning. But, the children were good and proved to be reliable clients since their parents forced education on them (just like my parents forced music lessons on me which helped my life a lot.) After a while, my aunt pressured me to get a teaching credential and be a sub. I worked teaching kids and ESL adult school, and in all different parts of the county. I would drive to Fontana, South Los Angeles, East LA, El Monte, and more. And then it happened. What happened?

I was asked to teach a 10 week summer night school class in downtown Los Angeles. I couldn’t believe they assigned the class to me. Why me? I didn’t ask to teach it. I had very little experience at that district and in general with classroom teaching. I had done tutoring and small classes. Was it because it was a summer class? Were the other teachers on break? Was it because someone dropped out at the last minute? Speculation, speculation, and guess work. So, this class was every night for two and a half months. I got to the class the first day. There were about fifty people. I was overwhelmed. I had never taught a class that size. The room was huge too. It took three weeks to learn everybody’s name. Most of the people were from Mexico, but there were Salvadorians (or as I call them: Salvadortecos or Salvadorenos), Guatemalans (Guatemaltecos), two Koreans (Koreanos is how Mexicans say it), a South Indian, a Russian, and a few others. But, when you teach ESL in Los Angeles, it is generally 90% Latino.

I had learned a little Spanish and was going to learn more at work. Grammar was an issue, and my vocabulary was tiny. I speak Chinese well, but Spanish has always been a challenge even though it’s seven times easier to learn Spanish as an English speaker than it is to learn Chinese. So little by little I learned more Spanish words from my students which I needed for teaching. Because, when you teach a particular verb tense or topic, you need to make sure the slower students are on the same page with you so you don’t lose them.

So, I got to know the class better and better, and got more comfortable teaching them. The subject matter was my favorite: Beginner ESL (English as a second language). As time went on I noticed that there were more and more people in the class. I was disturbed. I didn’t know how these people would fit, and where they would sit. But, I got used to that. Then, I noticed that the population in my class kept growing like a cancer, little by little. I guess word got around that I was a good teacher, or perhaps there were no other options because there is a teacher shortage during the summer. By the end of the class I counted 120 people in my class. They loved me, I had most of their names down, and half the class valued me so much that they were willing to stand for two hours. I have never had an experience like this in my life and I think I should look back with price and gratitude. Because my other gigs of which there were over 100 (which were generally subbing less than a handful of times) were very disappointing and the classes did not love me.

Looking back, I would say that having your own class with a flexible student base is the best. That way new people who love me can join the class and I can accumulate a following of people who like my style.

Close to the end of the class, my birthday came. The students collected money for a huge cake. I was concerned that they were going to spend too much because (1) I like to keep it simple and (2) these were very poor people. After class was over on that day, they unveiled the cake. We had drinks, cake, music, and good conversation. It was somewhat hard to socialize with people who hardly speak English, but we managed. And then it was picture time. Two of the students put cake frosting all over my face and then took a photo of me. The posted a copy of it on the classroom wall so that we would have a happy memory. The principal came in a few days later and congratulated me on having a great class. But, I didn’t do anything special. I was just doing what I always do — I had just stumbled upon really really good luck!

So, that concludes my little spiel about my test beaching experience which incidentally was one of the best experiences of my life. I hope that I have some more amazing life experiences in the future.

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March 17, 2011

If the world ends, do I get a refund?

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:10 am

If the world comes to an end, do I get a refund?

 I was joking with a client by email tonight.  She asked when her renewal date was for her notary public listing.  I said its 5-01-2012 which is almost eight  months before the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar.  She asked if she would get a refund if the world ended prematurely.  I said, that if the world ends, we will be living in the same situation that Northeast Japan is in — or worse!  There would be no mail, no banks, no mail trucks, no email, and we would have to rely on mental telepathy. That means that there would be no way to get the refund check to you, and no money, and no banks — just debree.  What I said to the out of state client was, “Look on the bright side, maybe the rest of the world will be destroyed, but Los Angeles will be fine!”
 
The Mayan calendar
Personally, I believe strongly in astrology. I live with an astrologer, have heard a lot about Vedic astrology and how detailed it is, and have read several books about Mayan astrology. I even took a course in Chinese four pillars astrology for date selection. Each system is remarkably different, yet they are all reliable enough to use regularly.   So, if the world is going to end, I better hurry up and do whatever I want to do, right?
 
Exact dates?
My astrologer housemate insists that far away planets and constellations don’t have an effect necessarily on the exact date when they are charted to be in a particular position.  So, I believe the same applies to Dec 23rd, 2012.  I believe that the 2012 disasters have been warming up for decades and will apex in 2012 or 2013.    The 2005 tsunamis were an appetizer, the Japan 2011 disaster tsunami is part of the warm up too  The Pakistan and China earthquakes, New Orleans, and 911 are part of the scenario too.  The problem is that the real disasters won’t come for another one to four years.  Solar flares will come that disrupt, or eliminate cell phone communications.  Megatsunamis and 9.0 earthquakes all over the place.  Rising sea levels from the melting of the Ross ice shelf means no more Louisiana, Bangladesh, Tokyo, Netherlands or Florida.  Cities on low ground will be wiped off the face of the earth from rising seal levels.  Japanese cities are mostly below 20 feet in elevation.  No more Toyotas for us!!! Wars and rumors of wars are supposed to happen too.  Scientists, the Bible, and psychics are agreeing on a lot of what the scenario is supposed to be.  Prayer is the only reliable way to safeguard yourself.  Only god can save you and your notary public business — even if you don’t believe in god! 

 
It doesn’t seem to hit at the same place at the right time.
 One month we have an earthquake in one place, then Haiti has an earthquake, then there is a hurricane in another place, an earthquake in one country, and a revolution in another, a future earthquake in San Francisco, and so on and so on.  The damage will not come all at one date or in one place. So, far the world has had many disasters, but our notary public work and notary businesses are still in business!  The  world economy is still in business.  911 effected things more from the reaction that Americans had to the catastrophe, but the reaction made it 100 times worse. People didn’t want to fly anymore and many airlines went out of business and lots tons of cash for more than a year.

So, what is realistic?
Who knows.  I am not able to predict anything, but nothing surprises me either. If you are a signing agent, the problem is that the global and national economies effect you.  If China stops lending America money, then interest rates will go up and nobody will afford to buy properties.  Then notary public signing agents will be in big trouble.  But, what if wealthy Chinese people start coming to California and Oregon to buy up properties.  Then the price goes up so high that we can’t afford a house, but notaries will have work at least.  If there is a disaster and Florida goes under water due to global warming, many of them will go to Georgia and Texas, and the prices of real estate will go up in those other places which means more jobs for notaries.
 
What if things are fine where you are… but..
If you are sitting in Arizona and things are fine, but Los Angeles is hit with a 9.1 and New York City gets obliterated by a tsunami, then wall street will no longer exist and the whole nationwide lending market might actually have to shut down for a long time.
 
What do I suggest?
Save your money and keep 100 gallons of water, first aid equipment, and storable emergency food at home.  Have a crank radio, and boots too, because you might have to walk over power lines.  Keep the water rotated, so its always fresh, and put a few drops of bleach in it.  Keep cash hidden, and have money in the bank just in case.  You have no idea what could hit us, and for how long our cities, country, or world could be out of commission.
 
On a brighter side
Sorry, no notary public listings refunds if the end of the world comes before your renewal date. But, you might get to meet some cute green people from spaceships who come to rescue us.  And Jesus is scheduled to arrive on planet earth sometime soon according to revelation.  You might not be around to see him, but think how happy the others will be.
 
Think positively.
Don’t pay any attention to what I have written if you are in the notary pubic / notary business.

Don’t worry… be happy!

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January 30, 2011

Decline Profitable Junk Work

Decline Profitable Junk Work
Some may feel “work is work” and take all they can get. Mobile notaries are not hobbyists; we do the work for the money. Some are able to charge more, for the same work, some less. Without a scheduling conflict, we want to “book” that work. Of course it has to be legal. But not all legal work is useful to our callers. Sometimes we know the end product, though legal, will be junk.

Case in point to illustrate: my late night caller has an emergency. They have an appointment with the Immigration folks in downtown Manhattan at Federal Plaza. They just noticed the requirement that their documents must be notarized. Routine so far, but a little probing uncovered the real facts. One of the documents is a birth certificate from China. The other is a divorce certificate, also from China. NY State law regarding “vital records” permits me to notarize as long as those types of documents did not originate in NY State. There are slightly different procedures for processing a photocopy; different from processing an original document.

I learn the birth certificate is in the Chinese language, and is original. Some specific wording is required, but it’s perfectly proper to notarize the signature of the person named on the document. But, will it be useful for their intended purpose? Frankly, I really don’t know. I suspect they will have to have the document translated by a licensed translator. The translator’s signature will be notarized, attesting to training and accuracy of translation. Atop that would go the caller’s statement as to being the rightful possessor of the document. But, I’m not sure. I explain this to the caller and suggest they contact the authorities as to specific requirements. I could have accepted the assignment; but I feel they would be walking in with notarized junk without the translation.

The divorce decree was even worse. Again, it was in Chinese; but this time the document was not an original, only a photocopy. Similarly, I could legally notarize the photocopy; again using NY State mandated verbiage for photocopies. But the acceptability for purpose is, IMHO, unlikely.

As practicing professionals we know a lot more about notary law than the general public. We also know a bit about bureaucratic processing requirements. Of course we don’t know “everything” but we should know the limits of our knowledge. When I am sure, or almost sure, the work product will meet the client needs it’s a go. But, as is often the case, I am unsure. When I express my doubts they usually ask “what do you think”. That’s calling for my opinion, or to phrase it a bit more honestly – for me to guess. I don’t like to guess, preferring to refer them to the proper authorities to ask their “how should I proceed” question. Also, answering “how should I proceed” comes very close to “playing lawyer”. That must be totally avoided.

Would it matter if the caller told me they were affluent, and wanted to “try” using my notary work; not caring if it was rejected? Sure, if they, knowing my concerns, wanted to “throw money at the project” – I would be happy to oblige. It has to be their informed decision based on whatever knowledge I can provide as to the likelihood of success. I’ve done many “let’s try it and see what happens” jobs. Rarely do I learn the outcome. I don’t know if my caller was pent house or poor house; nor does it matter to me. Ethical notaries will Decline Profitable Junk Work. But, will allow the client to overrule the notary when clients are making an informed decision.

.

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January 28, 2011

Notary Airport

NOTARY: One day there will be a Notary Airport

SAM: When pigs can fly.

NOTARY: Well actually, it will be seals flying. The airplanes will look like giant seals, whiskers and all.

SAM: Maybe they should make a Notary submarine that looks like a seal instead of a flying seal.

NOTARY: The good part is that when Notarizations are done on the plane, the prices will be sky high!

SAM: Yeah, and if you notarize in the air, you can join the Notary mile high club.

NOTARY: Yes, but wait until you find out what the airport layout will look like….

The terminals will be shaped like Notary seals. Each terminal will have a coffee house and bar with a Notary bartender. The newpaper store will sell NNA’s newsletter in addition to the Wall Street Journal. The parking lot will have a special section for Notaries that is closest to where the shuttle picks you up. And when you go to check in your bags, they make you sign the journal and thumbprint. How cool is that?

Scene from aiport security.

OFFICER: Sir, please remove any metal objects from your pockets and step forward slowly.

SAM: Okay… should I take off my belt too?

OFFICER: Just wait for us to put on the saxophone music before you do that please sir.

SAM: Got it.

OFFICER: Our scanner found a metal object in your bag that resembles an embosser?

SAM: Is that a problem, officer?

OFFICER: Well, not necessarily. Is this a registered embosser?

SAM: Does it need to be?

OFFICER: Step to the side sir.

SAM: Uh-oh.

OFFICER: I’m going to need to pat you down. Please stand still.

SAM: Wow, you’re good at that.

OFFICER: I know… I get that a lot. I used to be a Priest for 30 years, a ballet teacher for 3 years, plus I worked in the airport for 4 years.

SAM: Oh, it all adds up now. Now I know why that comes so naturally to you. The embosser was authorized by my state. I have the paperwork at home.

OFFICER: Great. Let me just check your commission number on our computer system… Uh huh. Okay, no unauthorized used on our database. The waiting areas are in front of you or have a drink at the flying embosser. Just don’t use your embosser under the influence of alcohol or heavy medication per airport regulations. If you get bored in the waiting room, you can read Notary Handbooks from all 50 states plus DC.

SAM: I’ll get bored, but not that bored. Thanks.

OFFICER: And may God bless you — if there is a God.

SAM: Some Priest you are/were.

OFFICER: Well, I stopped being a Priest because I stopped believing in God.

SAM: Hmm. Well, I stopped being a Mortgage Broker in 2009 because I lost interest.

OFFICER: Forgive me father for I have rescinded — that was a good one! I’m just kidding, I still believe in God, I quit the church to run for the senate because things at the church got too — political.

SAM: Gotcha!

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January 20, 2011

Notary Italian Restaurant

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:54 pm

Have you been to the Notary Italian restaurant?

The story behind the Notary Italian Restaurant goes back to Palermo where Bruno grew up as a child. He wanted to go out with a particular young lady. But, she would only talk to him if he had his request notarized. After that, she made more demands. Each demand required a Notarization. In Italy, you have to be practically an Attorney to do a notarization, so this was a real task for Bruno to prove-a his love! After getting to know so many Notaries so well in Sicily, he decided to study for several years and become a Notary himself.

Bruno traveled far and wide. He became the Notary of Seville. Then, he went to Greece to notarize the debt crisis. After that he assisted Bashir Al-Assad with some notarizations. And finally came to America where he opened an Italian restaurant with a Notary theme.

Here is his menu.

Pasti y Primi
————————————————–
Affidavit Arrabiata
Linguini with Cancellation Clams — (only available three days a week.)
Rescission Rotini
Purchase Pasta Primavera
FHA Fettuccini

Piatto Principale
————————————————-
Bisteca Certificado
Venue Veal with Vino Fino Reduction
Boar Pappardelle
Spaghetti Juratini
Pasta with squid ink

Dulce
————————————————–
Locus Sigilli — a sweetened noodle that keeps wrapping around like a signature. Our signature desert.
Hazelnut HUD Gelato.

Unfortunately for Bruno, his girlfriend broke up with him only to meet up with him by accident years later at his restaurant.After the meal, here was the conversation.

BRUNO: Thanks for everything. Does your credit card have a chip?

LADY: Yes it does. What do you think about having a chip implant in your arm? It’s the way of the future.

BRUNO: I don’t need one implanted in my arm. I already have on on my shoulder!

.

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January 14, 2011

Certified Copy of an Apostille?

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Technical & Legal — Tags: , — admin @ 10:00 am

Certified Copy of an Apostille?
Sometimes I am in awe of the machinations suggested to reduce notary fees. I have just been asked to process a college degree with an Apostille. Routine. However, the client also has asked me to additionally prepare a “certified copy” of the Apostille bearing document! Of course this is totally illegal; and it’s worthwhile to explore the issues involved.

“Student Copies” of educational related documents (degrees, transcripts, etc.) are illegal to notarize in New York State. Photocopies do not include the anti-tamper protections commonly incorporated into the original documents. “Photoshop Magicians” have been known to change the grades; raising their grade point average from a dismal 2.5 to a laudable 3.7. All done with just a few clicks of the mouse. Worse, there have been cases where only the name is changed on the degree – instant college education!

To put an end to this fraud, New York State has added educational related documents to the list of “copy may not be notarized” documents. Already on that list are Birth, Death, Marriage, Divorce and some other officially issued documents. With educational related documents, it is the Principal or Registrar who is the only authority to sign and be notarized. Their signature is on an original, even if it duplicates a prior issuance. Degrees are generally issued for Apostille processing as a letter, signed and notarized – attached to the actual degree. Both should contain the raised seal of the issuing institution.

Now to follow the processing trail. I notarize the signature of the Registrar on the letter with attached degree. My signature is authenticated by the State of New York and the signature of the County Clerk is added; attesting to my “good” standing as a New York State Notary. Then the document goes to the Department of State to receive an Apostille, after the signature of the New York County Clerk is verified. Finally the Apostille is added; with a tamper proof, non-removable grommet, such that pages cannot be added or removed.

The package now contains many signatures: The Registrar, the Notary, the County Clerk and the Secretary of State of the State of New York. Each one has added, in addition to their signature either a raised seal, or some other tamper resistant protection. It is for that reason that the package is acceptable for use in other countries.

Now comes a request for me, the humble notary to “certify” a copy of the entire package! It’s not even easy to make a copy because of the grommet holding the pages together. The only way to make a copy is to fold the prior pages “out of the way” leaving the grommet at the top left intact.

The photocopy would be a mess, and look it. But, it is technically possible; with parts of the underlying documents “cut off” because the non-removable grommet blocks the photocopying. OK, now http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com has a “somewhat” complete copy. How can I “certify” the copy? First, it’s illegal in New York State for a notary to certify ANY copy, only the owner of the document can make a statement that the copy is complete and unaltered; assuming it’s not on the “no photocopy” list. It’s common to notarize a photocopy of an electric bill to be part of proof of residency. But, it’s a long step from electric bill (with affiant present) to educational degree with Apostille attached and no affiant. The only legal way would be to do the complete job twice.

.

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January 13, 2011

Wheel of Fortune – Notary Edition

WHEEL OF FORTUNE – Notary Edition

Pat: Let’s say hello to our contestants. Joe here is a notary public from Commishigan. Sounds like fascinating work, Joe.

Joe: More than hosting a glorified “Hangman” for over thirty years.

Pat: Ouch. You got me there, Joe. And hello to Marie. It says you are a notary public from Seal Beach. “Seal”. Makes sense. Okay, the puzzle is a 17 letter word. You won the coin toss, Marie. Take a spin.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: Well, if you’re looking for big money, you picked the wrong profession.

Marie: Cheap shot, Pat.

Pat: Speaking of cheap – $200.

Marie: Any S’s?

Pat: Three S’s. Go again.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $450

Marie: X?

Pat: No X’s. Unless you’re signing a document that way. Joe, your turn.

Joe: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $1000!

Joe: Any R’s?

Pat: Two R’s.

Joe: I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat. I mean the one besides how it is Vanna White still has a job.

Pat: That puzzle we’ll never solve.

Joe: “Errors and Emission”.

Pat: Speaking of errors, you just made one, yourself there, Joe. Marie, a break for you.

Marie: I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. Are there any O’s?

Pat: Three O’s.

Marie: I’d like to solve the puzzle. “Errors and Omission”.

Pat: As in the insurance policy that protects notaries liable for honest mistakes. Joe, too bad you didn’t have it when you made your honest mistake a minute ago.

Joe: Good thing a credible witness didn’t see me make it. Unless you call Vanna “credible.”

Pat: If it involves signaling things with her hands, I do. Especially the profane gesture she’s using right now!

.

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January 11, 2011

I was forced to forge my own signature in India

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:35 am

I remember back in 2005 I went to Bombay to visit a friend. I took the train downtown to cash a few travelers cheques. I have never had an experience this bad and have brought a lot more cash with me ever since. You have to sign a traveler cheque when you buy it and then sign again when you cash it in. My signature was a little different than my normal signature, but not different by much. But, the clerk had had a lot of trouble cashing in traveler’s cheques and he was paranoid. He did not like the differential between my signatures. So, I had to forge my own signature so to speak. I had to practice signing the way I had signed when I originally signed the cheque a few times on a blank piece of paper. What a ridiculous ordeal. My passport wasn’t good enough for him yet it was good enough for airport security. Good God, or should I say Good Krishna?

In any case, I signed the way he liked and got my money.I spent my rupees on apple pie that had been in the same oven as melting cheese and it tasted horrible. I have so many India nightmares I never want to go back again but perhaps I will to see the mountains and meditate there with the Gods near Dehradun. My guru says I need to go where I can see snow in the mountains and meditate there for three days. One day I’ll do it, but not this year, because China is on my mind. Sounds like a Ray Charles song.

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January 9, 2011

Notary Hotel 2 — the sequel

Welcome to The Notary Hotel, for all things notarial.

Customer: “Wow, this hotel is so notarial, even the notepad comes with Jurat wording!”
Reception: “We cater to a very specific market over here.”
Customer: “That is great, but honestly, at one of those other Notary Hotels, there were ink stains on the wash cloth!”
Reception: “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear about that. That must be the hotel on the other side of town that is currently out of commission, right?”
Customer: “That’s the one, but I don’t like to mention names!”
Reception: “I understand”
Customer: “And they were annoying too. Each room had a fax machine, so they could fax the bill to you, and they required three dozen fax backs before they would let you check out!”
Reception: “Sounds like that other notary hotel, or the Notel, as we call it was owned by a signing service.”
Customer: “Tell me about it.”
Reception: “We are notarial, but in a good way over here, well at least we like to think we are. You’ll enjoy our notarial breakfast. You get an embossed waffle. Instead of having the regular grid, you will get a huge impression of a circular embossed notary seal. Instead of an expiration date on the seal, we say — best if consumed before 6-01-2014 — for example.
Customer: “I’m hungry already.

Can you expedite my express-o?
Reception: “Then, you’ll enjoy a cup or two of our signature French roast coffee — but, you don’t have to notarize the signature.”
Customer: “Great, because I don’t feel comfortable with foreign language notarizations.”
Reception: “Oh no, it’s not a French language roast, the coffee is English speaking, and so is the signature.”
Customer: “In that case, that will be fine. I prefer espresso though.”
Reception: “Well, since we are a boutique hotel, we can make espresso upon special request.”
Customer: “Can you expedite my express-o? No pun intended.”
Reception: “And over here, instead of paying by the night, you can stay for a pre-arranged number of days, weeks or months — we call that period of time a commission!”
Customer: “Boy, you guys are just too notarial. Next thing you know, I’ll have to take a proctored test to stay here.”

What type of Notelarization?
Reception: “Well, we test you in other less pronounced ways — to make sure you know what you’re doing. Can you sign the register please, I mean the journal? We like our guests to sign it. We’re a bit old fashioned.”
Customer: “So, where you do you want me to sign it?”
Reception: “That was part of the test. You are the notary, you are supposed to know. You sign in the signature section!”
Customer: “Right… what was I thinking. I’ve been doing this job for twenty years and still have to be reminded! I’ll put the type of Notelarization as well — acknowledged overnight stay.”
Reception: “Super. Let me check your ID, to make sure the name matches the one in the journal. Your ID says, Ralph E Emerson, and you signed Ralph Wemerson? Am I missing something?”
Customer: “Well, over time, my E became sideways and began to look more like a W. You understand, right?”
Reception: “Well, at least it’s not like Wang Zhu Ming from China who signed in Chinese characters.”
Customer: “That’s nothing, I had an Egyptian who signed in hieroglyphics once, or at least it looked that way!”

Standards at the Notary Hotel
Reception: “At our Notel, we have standards. If any of the maids fails to abide by the following regulations, their commissions can be suspended, revoked, or terminated.”

(1) Failure to require the guest to sign for their food delivered during room service
(2) Failure to administer an Oath for the late night lasagna Jurat
(3) Failure to honor the 3 minute right to rescind on midnight tacos

Affidavit of Maid Services must be signed at the door. The date and time must be documented as well, along with an indication of the type of maid-torial act. For example, they could acknowledge that they made up the room.

Customer: “It sounds wonderful. This Notel operates for the benefit of the customer. What about late night pay-per-flick. Is there a rescission period for that if I don’t like the movie?”
Reception: “Yes, you can mail, or fax your…”
Customer: “Stop right there, did you say fax? I’m out of here!”
Reception: “No wait… come back…”

You might also like:

Notary Hotel 1
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

Cheers: Sammy gets a name change form notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

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