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May 12, 2021

The Notary Banquet

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:17 pm

Welcome to the Notary banquet where diets are vanquished and appetites are satisfied every time. They have dishes named after types of loan signings. Let’s see what they have to offer.

Squid Ink Pasta
If you like the 1sts enough, you can have a 2nd, or a piggy back (combination loan) by combining the 1st and 2nd together and adding prosciutto. And yes, the ink comes out of a pretend notary seal.

Seal Kabob
I guess these are endangered species and they say, “ar ar ar” quite well, but for blogging purposes they taste great with light mediteranean seasoning. I wonder what seal tastes like. I bet it tastes like eel and rhymes with eel too. Maybe they should make sushi out of it.

Hybrid Plates
Surf and turf, steak and shrimp, this is what we call a hybrid.

eSigning dish
You eat a small plate but have to order with a signature pad. It’s one of those things millennials like that the rest of us might not like.

sHELoCs
Instead of HELoC, there is sHELoCs with angel hair pasta that looks like her locks.

Conventional
Tired of unconventional fusion cuisine? Try something conventional like chicken fried steak or apple pie.

FHA
Fries, Hamburger and Acorn Squash. This delicacy will entice your taste buds.

Reverse
I’m not sure how this would work. Would your server approach you walking backwards, or would we do a film shot of this scene and then play it backwards. Perhaps you would eat it backwards — hold that thought, no, bad idea.

Purchases
Just pay after you’re done eating.

Construction
The cake is built in pieces kind of like a prefab. So they construct it before you. If you don’t like it then get a demolition loan for your cake or a remodeling loan.

Time Shares
How often do you do time shares? When I have time. You can share food, but can you share time while eating food? I guess you could let the person next to you eat off your plate for 30 seconds if you know them well and trust them. This is a weird blog article even for me.

1031 Exchange
Yet another bizarre dessert idea of cake carved into the shape of the numbers 1031. Anthony Fauci would like it because he is all about “the numbers” and “the science.”

The Covid Cake
You have to stay six feet away from it and eat it taking your mask off in between bites. Of course, then you get germs on your mask which you can’t do either. So you are stuck.

I-9
The staff made a mistake and brought a K-9 (they were off by two letters) who went around sniffing everything and eating food that fell on the floor. So, he served his purpose. Then he found marijuana on one of the guest and drama ensued.

RON
Using this technology for dining, a person in Dubai can enjoy the banquet you are having right here in the Westchester district of Los Angeles. I’m not sure how that is possible. I don’t think you need to ID them virtually to eat a meal though.

Foreclosures
If you didn’t finish all of your courses, I guess the staff would have to foreclose on you and take everything away after a period of time.

Thank you for enduring my off sense of humor. I haven’t wr

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November 15, 2020

Why Notaries don’t like Snapdocs and why companies do

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — admin @ 8:37 pm

Originally posted in 2019

Let me go point by point about how Snapdocs is designed for those who hire, and not for the convenience of those who are Notaries.

1. Cattle Calls
Cattle call style mass texts make life easy for those hiring Notaries. They just input a few lines of text, click a link and a desperate Notary will come crawling to them. One minute of work for the signing company, but dozens of Notaries will have their life interrupted only to find that the job has been given to someone else.

2. Thumbs up or thumbs down?
The Notaries cannot see what the comments are about them. But, companies can get an idea of what other companies think about the Notaries. These comments do not compare to 123notary’s skill analytics. But, this game is no longer about skill, but price and not making any major blunders or leaving people high and dry. I tested many of the best Notaries on Snapdocs and the vast majority did not know how to follow instructions nor did they understand Notary Procedure well at all.

3. Downloading & Uploading
The process of downloading documents or uploading documents is easy for signing companies. It is also easy for Notaries, but designed more with the intent of convenience for those paying to use the system.

4. Record Keeping & Data
Snapdocs stores lots of data about who your connections are who you do signings with as well as job information. This is very convenient for those using the system except that your information about your secret clients will become known to Snapdocs for better or for worse. That was an issue for several companies I am acquainted with.

Personally, I prefer a system where you can get to know the notary in person over the phone before you use them. But, for the millennials out there, Snapdocs fits their cultural model. It relieves people of the necessity and burden of actually having to talk to others. Where has humanity gone? I have to post my latest selfie on Instagram.

You might also like:

What notaries don’t like about snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21246

Snapdocs – when the texts stop
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21163

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January 28, 2020

Facebook’s karma – freedom of speech violations

Filed under: Social Media — admin @ 11:20 am

Facebook was a popular way for 123notary get reach in our marketing and come into contact with a lot more people. But, in the last few years, Facebook got more and more restrictive in what you could post, especially on promoted posts. If anyone complained about a title being even slightly controversial or a photo used then I would get in trouble.

Facebook is a utility of sorts. In the USA, we have freedom of speech and press, and what we say on the phone or other communication utilities is our right. How I interact with my users on Facebook should be up to me. But, Facebook has intervened and told me that my image of a tarot card cannot be used because there is a figure of a naked person. It is so small I didn’t notice and it is a dummy person with no genitals, yet someone still complained.

It is a bit like living in a communist country where people are in a huge hurry to report you to the authorities for doing any tiny thing wrong. Why are Americans in such a hurry to limit another person’s freedom of expression? It baffles me. But, the current consciousness of Americans loves repression of freedom of speech, loves lynchings of people who have been accused of being racist or sexist whether the accusation is true or not, and even approves of torture of alleged terrorists. What is the world coming to? This is not the America I grew up in. It is getting very Marxist.

At any rate. a few years after Facebook became overly constrictive, I noticed that Facebook became a lot less popular in general, especially for 123notary. It is getting to the point where we might lower our involvement with Facebook or stop altogether. I feel that they developed bad karma from being too restrictive and that they lost a huge chunk of their business as a result.

I wonder if they will have a come back or whether they are just a has been who might be popular with an aging population but will never be popular with the millennials who run the country now. Hmmm.

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October 20, 2019

If you forget your cell phone in an Uber — if you have an problem with Snapdocs

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:43 pm

How is customer service if you have a problem with these two portal based economies?

In the last two years I have met two people who lost their mobile phone in an Uber. But, there is no number to call. You have to do customer support online. But, you can’t get to your account unless you are on YOUR phone which you don’t have because it is in the uber. Geez. What gives?

What if you have a problem with Snapdocs? How good is customer service? Is everything done with an app to solve problems? Personally I am old school and prefer human beings and don’t like technology that I could get stuck with and hit road blocks. But, millennials are my opposite — they hate talking to humans, prefer texting, don’t like marriage or relationships with titles and the men don’t like the idea of being assertive. Good God! What has happened to our species. Personally, I believe this is the angel’s system of making sure we don’t breed so that we can solve the overpopulation crisis without WW3.

What has your experience been sorting out customer service issues with Snapdocs (or Uber)?

You might also like:

Can you scan loan documents using a cell phone?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22189

Phone interaction tutorial
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4355

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October 12, 2019

Millennial male Notaries resent Jeremy’s advice to “man-up”

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:25 pm

Yes, it is a problem with millennials nationwide. They are a generation in which the males don’t want to have manly attributes and the females antagonize males for being toxic when it is really females who are more actively toxic with all of their anti-male feminist bantor.

Feminism is really masculinism in disguise — an ideology that women are inferior, and the only way to compensate is to be as similar (or better) to men as possible. Traditionalism is where females have dignity doing their feminine duties such as procreation, managing the family, social networks, cooking, extended family, etc.

JEREMY: Men, it’s time to “man-up” and be more assertive in your business.

JAIME: Like, why is that so important. Can’t we just be ourselves?

JEREMY: How old are we now, three?

JAIME: More like 26. And I’m a snowflake by the way.

JEREMY: How did I guess. You are more like a snowflake without the snow, but I digress. You need to call or contact 200 signing companies so that you know that you exist.

JAIME: Oh, that is like sexual harassment. Yeah, I heard that if you talk to a girl on your own initiative, you could end up in jail.

JEREMY: What? I think if you make unwanted sexual remarks repeatedly you might have a problem. If you are just being friendly, people can make all the false accusations they want, but there is no evidence of wrongdoing. Do you want to work or not?

JAIME: Like, can’t there be some app that will do this for me so that I don’t have to act assertionly or whatever you said?

JEREMY: Do you want $40 per jobs on a snappy app which is our competitor, or $100 with a little education, promotion and a few legit reviews. And that is “assertively”, not assertionly by the way. You should probably read more with a dictionary to master English.

JAIME: Well, I self-identify as a successful Notary.

JEREMY: How many jobs have you completed to date?

JAIME: None yet. You’re hurting my inner child.

JEREMY: Is your entire generation like this? I don’t see a future in America. You guys don’t even breed.

JAIME: Well that might be difficult as breeding is sexist.

JEREMY: I think we are completely lost here. Without both genders doing what God designed them to do, there won’t be any future human race, you know that right?

JAIME: I see no proof that God exists.

JEREMY: Humans didn’t evolve out of a vacuum and neither did our souls. There is a spiritual component behind our evolution. Never mind. We are getting nowhere here. I’m not going to say “man-up” anymore, because it is pointless. Have fun paying rent with your attitude. Oh, let me guess, rent is also sexist — I’m sure you’ll find a rationalization how it is.

JAIME: No, rent is mean. Because what if someone is having a hard time finding work and a mean landlord makes that person pay rent. Boo hoo hoo.

JEREMY: At this point, I will thank my parents for kicking me out of the house when I was 18 except for summer vacations from school. I learned to survive in the real world. It took me ten years to figure out how to be self-sufficient, but I did it. And I thought I was a block head. Brother!

You might also like:

Millennials notaries and gender rules
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

A Millennial self-identifies as being a notary public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22269

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May 6, 2019

123notary vs. Snapdocs; AT&T vs. Verizon

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 11:27 am

Snapdocs is a force to be reckoned with. Even though their notaries are bad, and Snapdocs charges a hand and a wrist to use, they still are getting a huge market share. Perhaps we need to compete with them the same way AT&T and Verizon compete.

Maybe I have to talk to the signing companies and offer them anytime minutes if they use our site more. Or maybe I need to offer them new features. Of perhaps I need to offer an easier way to find Notaries on our site.

Most hiring parties I interviewed don’t care if Notaries know anything, they just want people with around two years experience. But, people lie about their experience, so what do the numbers really mean. How many signings do you think these companies really want? If you have signed 200 loans will they try you if they like you?

Maybe I should find a way to pay signing companies to use my site. Every time you use a Notary from 123notary, you can get a chance to win a Starbucks card.

I cannot afford to create the technology necessary to rival Snapdocs, so I have to compete in other ways. Using my femininity is not one of those ways, mainly because I don’t have any.

Perhaps I should try to appeal to generation Z. I don’t even know what they like. I think I know more about foreign cultures in central Asia than I do about generation Z, the post millennials. I do understand generation Y. After you talk to them for more than two minutes, the only question that enters your head is… why?

I think that what will win the battle is finding out exactly what signing companies want and having new search features to give it to them easily. Wish me luck. In the mean time — keep stamping.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about SnapDocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

See our string of posts about snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=snapdocs

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October 31, 2017

Notary Public 101 — Review Quick Pointers

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Popular on Twitter — Tags: — admin @ 4:34 am

Return to the table of contents page of Notary Public 101

Here are some review pointers. Rather than teaching in index format like I usually do, these are quick facts you need to know. Besides those other facts your embarrassed parents thought you didn’t need to know.

An Affiant is someone who signs an Affidavit and swears under Oath. A Harvey Weinstein is someone who signs a check to a woman to hush her up and swears under his breath.

An Attorney in Fact is another way of saying Agent or Grantee for a power of attorney. An Attorney in Fiction is another way of saying Perry Mason.

A certificate is a form a Notary uses for executing Acknowledgments, Jurats, and other Notary acts that require a certificate. Florida and Texas use certificates for Oaths while most other states do not. You can buy certificates in pad format from the NNA and other vendors. You should keep these in your notary bag at all times because you WILL be using them.

A Principal is the main person who signs an Power of Attorney or who is signing a document that is notarized using the Proof of Execution procedure. It just means the main person who signs a document. Consider it your Notary bag of tricks. The other kind of principal is the person you’re sent to when you’re caught chewing gum in class. Memories!

The Venue is the part of the certificate where you document the state and county where the notarization is taking place. It is also the physical location where you might be at any point in time, especially during a notarization. On the other hand, if you pick up a Notary in a bar, the venue could be your place or mine.

In an Acknowledgment, the signer must acknowledge having signed a document in the physical presence of the Notary Public, but does not need to sign in front of the Notary (although Lenders prefer that they do.) Some lenders I know also prefer that the well-known phrase, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be,” NOT be acknowledged, because it would mean they no longer be!

In a Jurat, the affiant or signer must sign and swear to the truthfulness of the written statement or document in the presence of the Notary which is evident based on the Jurat wording, “Subscribed and Sworn to BEFORE ME.” Note that acknowledgments do not include the before me part when referring to signing. They also don’t include any swear words, so the “sworn to me” part is confusing.

Your Seal must be clear, complete and not smudgy and not have light or missing corners or you will be hearing from the county recorder and might have to redo your work. Seals may look smudgy even if they aren’t, if you forgot to wear your contacts.

It is illegal to omit an Oath or Affirmation when executing a Jurat. Many Notaries say that they never have to administer Oaths in their state. I’m not sure whether or not to believe them. But, you need to know how to do an Oath if you see the words, “Subscribed and SWORN to before me.”

Oaths begin with the verbiage, “Do you solemnly swear…” If you omit the term swear, then the proceding is not an Oath. Oaths are made under God while Affirmations are made on your personal honor. If you’re Harvey Weinstein, the personal honor part doesn’t apply. I affirm that will be my last Harvey Weinstein joke.

Affirmations use the verb “affirm” or “state” but not swear. If you swear it is not an Affirmation and if you affirm it is not an Oath.

Oral statements do not get the same Oath as a written document or statement. Do you solemnly swear that the statement you are about to make is true and correct is a good Oath verbiage for an oral statement, but would be completely wrong for a document Oath for obvious reasons. Don’t let the fact that oral hygiene is good and documented hygiene is also good confuse you.

In your Notary Journal create one entry per person per document. If there are two signers each signing three notarized documents, then enter six entries. Each one signed by the corresponding signer. And keep journal thumbprints just in case someone gives you a fake ID. (If you’re a liquor store owner and someone gives you a fake ID, give them your thumbprint down!) Keep additional notes if there is more than one document with the same name such as escrow numbers, addresses, or anything to distinguish the documents.

The purpose in keeping a journal is not so much to please your state although many states require this, it is to please the FBI & Judges as they will be the ones inspecting your journal if something goes wrong. (However there’s no pleasing some people, like my old girlfriend who complained when I had the toilet paper roll under, not over, and also when I had it over, not under.) California audits journals from time to time too and they will suspend you if you keep a bad journal or no journal.

If the identification does not prove a person’s identity then that is a questionable and possibly illegal notarization. Think of all the trouble you could get yourself into taking liberties notarizing. You could end up in court as a defendant. The ID does not have to exactly match the signature, but the name in the signature must be provable based on the ID. i.e. the ID says John William Smith and the signature on the document says, John W Smith — then it is provable and you should be okay. If your ID says “John Doe” and you’re checking into a hotel with a harlot, it isn’t provable but you should be okay if you wear protection.

Identification for the purposes of notarization should be government issued photo ID’s and be current (some states have exceptions to the current part.) A Social Security card or AKA statement is NOT acceptable for a Notary to use to identify a signer or verify a middle initial. If Social Security runs out in 30 years, you can use that to identify millennials’ middle fingers.

A thumbprint is the most unique and reliable way of identifying someone as a supplemental form of identification. Use a photo ID as a primary ID and thumbprint in your journal. That way if you are ever investigated you will have hard bio-metric data to find dangerous criminals. If the criminal had his thumb blown off, you’re on your own.

When doing a POA signing with an Attorney in Fact, there are multiple ways an AIF can sign. John, as attorney in fact for Sue. Sue, by John her POA, etc. To choose the right variation is NOT YOUR JOB. There are perhaps eight legally acceptable ways of doing the verbiage. It is up to the LENDER to decide which variation they want. Rely exclusively on them for this as choosing a variation is a matter of preference, and the loan will not go through if you goof on this. If you goof on your younger siblings, it’s perfectly normal.

Do NOT send loose certificates in the mail. You could end up in jail as it could be attached to anything. Certificates must be stapled to the document they correspond to — period! Do not send loose women in the mail unless she’s going to Harvey Weinstein. Darn! Okay, I promise, that’s the last Weinstein joke!

Do not ask Lenders or title people for notary advice. They will tell you what they want you to do which is often illegal and for their short term benefit. Rely on your state government and NNA’s hotline for reliable Notary knowledge. Other people are NOT experts at Notary law and might lead you astray by accident or for their convenience. Don’t trust anybody except Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. They don’t exist? Okay, don’t even trust them!

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April 1, 2011

The Judge, The Jury & Waiting Room

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:28 am

I am always upset when I have to do jury duty. I like being on a jury, but all the waiting time, delays, and inefficiencies drive me up the wall. Most of all, I don’t like being held captive for an indefinite period of time. I have things to do and I lack patience.

I think that for a jury to give someone “justice” they should not only be impartial, but intellectually capable of understanding a complicated case with conflicting information. Additionally, they should have the discipline to go through all aspects of the case during deliberation point by point in a meticulous way. When I was on a case, the other people did not want to discuss the case during deliberation. They all made up their mind within one second just like that. I was a bit offended, but what could I do. I wanted to discuss the benefit of the doubt, but they wanted to vote guilty as they had no doubts.

For a jury to be a good one, people should be tested to see if they are really impartial and can make fair decisions. Most people cannot. Most people don’t have the patience to sit in court for days and sort complicated issues out. But, what if juries were trained and selected so that only people who were fair and disciplined could be on a jury. And what if those people were paid as well? This is not the same as being a professional juror, but a screened juror. Just my idea.

THE STORY
A judge had to be in court by 11am for his case. He went to the gas station. It was closed, and there was a sign on the front saying, “closed for jury duty.” A guy cleaning up in the back called the clerk for the judge. The clerk was in the court building but in the waiting room doing nothing. The judge was out of gas and needed help. He needed to be towed to the next closest gas station, but the tow truck only took cash. So, the judge went to the bank, but the bank had a line 80 people long because most of the tellers were on jury duty. The manager at the bank called the tellers on the judge’s behalf only to find that they were also in the waiting room and not on a case. Finally the judge called the tow truck company and told them he could not get cash in time. They said it did not matter anyway because they were short staffed as their main driver was doing jury duty, but once again not on a case as he was in the waiting room.

Having juries is an important part of American due process and justice. However, society suffers when services are not rendered because people are on a jury. Perhaps that is a price that society has to pay for justice. But, society also pays a price when the court system virtually hijacks people and makes them sit all day in waiting rooms — however, there is no benefit to society to force people to sit idle for hours on end. Maybe one day the court system will figure this out.

In any case, the judge had to walk to court in the rain. It took him two hours. But the time he got there it was 12:30pm. By the time he got there the jurors were all at lunch. So, he had to wait until 1:15pm to get started. Finally, 1:15 arrived, a bunch of jurors came up to see if they could be selected. However, the case involved a police officer who had been involved in some type of misconduct. The prospective jurors were interviewed briefly by an Attorney who dismissed all of them as they all had some type of bias against police officers. The moral of the story is that the jurors had their time virtually stolen from them not for jury duty but for court inefficiencies which was bad not only for them, but for their clients.

The tow truck juror gave the judge a lift to his car, and then came back with a tow truck, and then towed him to another gas station. The judge got gas, thanked everybody and then went home only to find a summons. The judge had been selected for jury duty. He would have to give up all of his cases indefinitely because he too had jury duty and would be on the hook indefinitely as they don’t accept hardship as an excuse anymore.

I hope you enjoyed my cute story. The moral of the story is to screen people over the phone or using an app rather than having people sit doing nothing all day long for no reason. I’m sure the millennials will agree with me on this issue.

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