Since 1975, every November 7th has been celebrated as Notary Public Day. I have never heard of this day before. I don’t think very many Notaries celebrate it. I’m not sure how you should celebrate it. Perhaps getting a rectangular cake that looks like a frosty Notary seal would be the best way. And you could sing Notary songs about declining backdating requests, 15 year whisky and a 30 year loan, I’m running out of song ideas.

To me that is one more excuse to party. But, would Notaries get together with other Notaries (competition) and celebrate, or get together with friends and describe their profession and listen to all of their lame questions? Hmm. Food for thought.

The date of November 7 was chosen as Notary Public Day in recognition of the date that America’s first notary, Thomas Fugill, was commissioned. Fugill’s appointment by the Colony of New Haven happened on October 25, 1639 (Julian calendar), November 7 on the Gregorian calendar now in use. So, Fugill’s Notary commission was not in Fugility nor was it in futility!

I’ll contact my local cake makers. We really need to make a thing out of this. We should contact calendar makers to get them to put it in the calendar as it trumps some of their other inconsequential holidays like Canadian Thanksgiving (observed.)

A Notary was bored, and invested in a time machine. He wanted to see how people lived in different times and places. So, he set the machine to send him to ancient Egypt to see the pyramids in Giza. But, the machine malfunctioned and he ended up in the Boston area in 1775.

The Notary got out of his British looking phone booth, and walked around on a dirt road bewildered thinking, “Where am I? This doesn’t look like Egypt. I want some felafel.”

A crazy guy on a horse almost ran him over screaming, “The redcoats are coming — The British are coming.” The British were leaving Boston to march to Concord to confiscate some ammunition, weapons, gunpowder, etc., from the colonials.

NOTARY: Hey watch where you’re going.

PAUL REVERE: You shouldn’t walk in the middle of the road lad, it’s dangerous.

NOTARY: And learn to signal your turns. It’s common courtesy.

PAUL REVERE: I’ll work on it. Wait a second, what century are you from. Those are very odd clothes.

NOTARY: Ay lad… now I’m talking like you guys. I’m from the future and my time machine broke.

PAUL REVERE: We can’t even get gun powder easily here in the middle of a revolution, so I don’t think I can help you. But, do you know where I can get a good Notary Public?

NOTARY: Ay laddie, I’m a notary, and I brought my stamp. It doesn’t expire for a while, but I’m commissioned in Massachusetts

PAUL REVERE: Massachusetts colony?

NOTARY: It becomes a state. There are 50 states in my time.

PAUL REVERE: 50 lad? My head is spinning. Next thing you tell me is that we become the most powerful country in the world, and they give partial credit to me just for riding Barnie around screaming the news.

NOTARY: Actually, you become a well loved historical figure. Here, can you sign your John Hancock here?

PAUL REVERE: I know John. He’s an acquaintance of mine. He lives in Massachusetts you know. Born here and will probably die here.

NOTARY: His signature will become famous. He will sign the Declaration of Independence in another year or so.

PAUL REVERE: Wow, so I’m going to be famous and he is too. I’ll drink to that. Jump on back, I’m going to Monroe Tavern in Lexington to warn the locals, and then on to Concord. Just let me sign your log book, I hope this is not considered backdating by about 240 years, but… as they say in the valley — what… ever… Please stamp my document. Do you need wax for that?

NOTARY: We don’t use wax in my time.

PAUL REVERE: Okay, we’ll have a pint in Lexington, and then on to Concord. Then we can try to see what we can do about time machines. Hey, I have a friend in Phili who loves gadgets and futuristic inventions. His name is Ben Franklin — great with the ladies. We can ask him to ride up. It’s only a few days Southwest of here.

NOTARY: I guess I’m stuck here, so we’ll have hasty pudding, drinks and do some sniper attacks on the red coats in the mean time.

PAUL REVERE: Good. Are you good with a musket?

NOTARY: Gee, we’re a little close on this horse. So much for social distancing.

PAUL REVERE: Don’t worry, I don’t have smallpox. Onward ho…. Yee Haw!!!