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December 24, 2019

Notary IQ Test: 123notary is to Snapdocs what…

Here is yet another Notary IQ test to test your Notary knowledge and thinking skills.

1. A Jurat is a Notary act that:
a. Has to be sworn to.
b. Has to be signed in front of the notary and sworn/affirmed to as opposed to an Acknowledgment which doesn’t have to be signed in front of the notary.
c. Has to be affirmed to. It is bad to ask people to swear as that might offend certain people.
d. Requires a Jurat certificate and an Oath or Affirmation.

2. Acknowledgment is to Jurat what:
a. A pre-fab home is — to a home that is built on site.
b. A chicken that has an egg inside it and then lays it — to a stork that brings your baby.
c. An Oath — to an Affirmation
d. A venue — to a certificate.

3. An Oath is to an Affirmation what:
a. Traditional is to politically correct.
b. God is to your personal honor
c. A New Yorker says in traffic to what a Millennial in California says at a formal appointment of office.
d. Choosing God to Choosing your diety of choice (pick option 4 for Lord Krishna).

4. A Mobile Notary is one that
a. Lives in Mobile Alabama
b. Used to live in Mobile Alabama
c. Travels to jobs
d. Charges a travel fee.
e. Prefers to book jobs at Starbucks… his “office” so he can have mocha-java while waiting for clients to show up. Sounds like the modern day Fonz having an “office.”

5. 123notary is to Snapdocs what
a. Source of information about real Notaries — to source of information about sad excuse for Notaries.
b. Directory is to Portal
c. Old school vs. High Tech
d. Public reviews vs. Thumbs up or thumbs down.
BTW, I just had a glass of 14 hands Merlot at a restaurant. The waiter asked me how I liked it and I said, “14 thumbs up, but not necessarily from the same seven hands.”

6. NNA is to 123notary what
a. One stop shopping is to advertising and signing agent training
b. Conferences are to blog articles and phone sessions with Carmen
c. A good source for ammunition is to a good source of higher paying Notary leads. (or am I confusing them with the NRA? — sorry, old joke.)
d. A big company where you don’t get to know the staff personally vs. a small company where everybody knows Jeremy & Carmen, but not Raymond.

7. The additional / optional information section on an Acknowledgment is critical because
a. It is good to show you are thorough
b. Jeremy says so
c. You can identify the document in multiple facets on the certificate so that it would be obvious if the certificate were swapped out to a different document.
4. To prevent someone from using the certificate on another document.

8. The most effective use of an embosser would be
a. To create a raised impression on all pages of every document you notarized to detect page swapping after the fact. Also, to prevent page swapping onto other documents that were not notarized by you.
b. To create a really large Oreo cookie.
c. To look hype when you arrive at a notary appointment — check out my embosser yo! Stainless!
d. You could use it as a weapon in case the signer tries to attack you — hey, it happens.

That is all for today students. I hope you enjoy our quiz. You can discuss potential answers in the comments or read Notary Public 101 to learn how I would answer some of these.

You might also like:

Testing Carmen on a bridge in 2003
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21264

The lady who studied 30 hours for her elite test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21238

Notary Aptitude Test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15853

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December 1, 2019

What do successful Notaries do that you don’t?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 6:00 am

We all want to be successful and we all think that we are experts at our job. But, are we really? Here are some things successful Notaries do that the others don’t do.

1. Keep your profile managed regularly.
What does this mean? You have to login, make sure your hours, counties, notes, and reviews are as current and thorough as they can be.

2. Keep your knowledge up and keep reading.
Serious Notaries read the various blogs and forums. They also take courses and get certified by more than one agency. Instead of claiming to be so great, they get a reputed third party such as the NNA, 123notary, Notary Rotary, etc., who has an impartial test, passes the test and then has credibility. Serious Notaries keep reading and have a never ending thirst for knowledge.

3. Knowing who to extend credit to
This is one of the hardest aspects of being a Notary. The tendency is to get as many jobs as possible. But, smart Notaries say no to bad jobs, jobs from companies that have payment issues, or jobs that pay too little. As a Notary it behooves you to have standards, but try to keep the standards reasonable as well, especially if you are new or if business is slow.. Don’t let companies rack up a huge bill. If they owe you more than $300, then ask them to pay up before you do more jobs, or Paypal you for future jobs.

4. Setting terms and having contracts
This is for the very advanced Notaries but some people do have a contract for others to sign. This is taking the upper hand and others might not be willing to sign your contract unless you are a top notch Notary — after all, why should they if you are a slouch?

5. Scheduling
Successful Notaries know how to schedule their day and get rid of packages fast so that they are not late.

6. Equipment
Good Notaries have top notch equipment and fix it fast if it breaks. They know how to download anything, anytime and anywhere and don’t make excuses. A good dual tray laser printer is a good place to start although you need good scanning and faxing equipment as well

7. Watching your email
Jobs can be dispatched through apps, email and by phone. So, a good Notary keeps a constant watch of all of these mediums.

8. Other sources of income.
Relying on Notary work when times are slow doesn’t make sense. Smart Notaries realize they need to diversify. We have a handful of full-timers who make a full living at this job. But, the majority cannot, so try to be realistic and have multiple streams of income.

You might also like:

How to become a successful mobile notary from scratch
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13340

Beginner’s Notary 103 Reading List (Resources)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21120

How to write a notes section if you are a beginner
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16698

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November 23, 2019

Trump Rallies the Notary-publicans

Filed under: Andy Cowan — admin @ 5:53 am

Trump Rallies the Notary-publicans

President Trump took his reelection campaign to the heart of notary country today to try to rally his base.

DJT: Look at this crowd of notaries! This is an even bigger crowd than the crowd who showed up for my Inaugural. There must be dozens and dozens of you. Whoever booked me for this time waster, as in my old job… “You’re fired.”

I’ve gotten more done for notaries in my first two and a half years than Presidents Obama and Bush put together. The numbers of jobs for notaries witnessing the signings of executive orders putting immigrant kids in cages is through the roof, am I right? And it’s a beautiful, fantastic roof. Almost as beautiful as the wall I’m pretending to build I pretended Mexico would pay for.

I see a lot of credible witnesses in the crowd. I’m talking about a third person who personally knows the document signer and verifies the signer’s identity. And look, there’s the anything but credible witness, Don Junior. Chin up, Don. Oh, it’s already up? I couldn’t see it – it’s a very weak chin. Takes after one of my ex-wives, not me. Except for the “anything but credible” part. There he’s a chip off the old block.

We’re gonna have fantastic Errors and Omissions insurance for all you notaries. That’s because I want to protect a notary from any mistake that causes a financial loss to a client, so you won’t be sued for recovery, okay? I know all about being sued. You know who needs Errors and Omissions insurance? The fake news. I see you out there. CNN. MSNBC. They omit things all the time. Like how unbelievable fantastic I am. They make errors all the time. Like that footage of me walking up to Air Force One with toilet paper stuck on my shoe. It wasn’t toilet paper!

It was the Constitution. By the time I got done trampling over it, it looked like toilet paper, okay? And there was no collusion. No obstruction. That last one was a lie but I throw you so many, who can keep up?

And the Dems want to impeach me, because they’re bad, bad, disgusting, horrible people. And I’ll never resign. Whereas if you notaries resign your commission, you have to notify the Secretary of State’s office within 30 days. And not Secretary of State Crooked Hillary. That’s right…“Lock her up!” “Lock her up!” Wait, you’re not chanting it right. It’s “her,” not “him.” Stop chanting “Lock him up!” I’m not rooming with that mouth breather Michael Cohen! Forget it. Or Manafort. Do you know he dyes his hair?

You might also like:

Trump’s trade war affected Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20497

Will the next election help our notary industry?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22267

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November 22, 2019

Drug of choice for Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:52 am

Many professions have a drug of choice.

For acupuncturists it is heroin because they like the needles.
Dentists prefer laughing gas as it is easily available at least for them.
Chiropractors prefer crack.
But, what do Notaries like?

There is a new drug called “stamp”. No, it’s not smack, but stamp. It makes you feel like you are on top of the world and will get paid by everyone. It makes you feel so rich that if you don’t get paid if you won’t even care. Stamp looks like how LSD was described to me as it comes in little squares. Each little square is a stamp. You just put it on your tongue and get high, or as the local users say, “get notarized.”

I was standing on a street corner and this real loser came up to me and said, “Hey man, wanna get notarized? It’s really cool.” I was thinking, “Yeah I bet it is — I can’t go for that because I didn’t bring my ID.” He said, “Bummer man, maybe next time.”

Nobody will sell you any stamp if you don’t have a current ID, so be prepared and some dealers require journal thumbprints too for this drug.

You might also like:

Notary Jokes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8471

Best virtual Notary comedy compilation up to 2018
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

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November 9, 2019

Outer space society tries to eliminate Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:22 am

There was a society in outer space that strove to be the best community they could be. They experimented with freedom of speech repression kind of the way some social media channels do these days. They experimented with killing all criminals, but ended up eliminating most of the population for small offences. Then, they tried to figure out who the most unsuitable members of society were — and those were deemed to be Notaries. But, how would they get rid of these Notaries or figure out which ones were bad?

The society beamed Jeremy up into space (that’s me by the way) and had him test all the Notaries. After testing many people, he informed the leadership that there was a bad problem and said, “You don’t understand the gravity of the situation.” They said, “That’s right because we don’t have gravity here.” And then Jeremy said, “No wonder I see Notary seals floating around.”

After more careful thought, Jeremy decided that the problem was there were too many Notaries above the age of 320 and that people might get better service if the younger Notaries would do most of the work. So, the government implemented an idea that anyone over the age of 250 who was a Notary would be neutralized as they would no longer be valuable to society. After that, society went back to normal again and the bad Notaries had mostly been weeded out. Additionally, the length of validity of the intergallactic ID cards was extended to 180 light years, and must by law have a photo that includes your full antennas and those with only a partial view of their antennas would have to be issued a new ID with a new photo.

So, Jeremy went back to his planet. Although he was only on Quazar for one week, it was a month later when he came back to earth due to the time-space continuum. Jeremy’s only regret was that he missed a critical opportunity to go to Luke’s spaceburgers near Tatooine and that there was no Starbucks on Quazar. So much for the name “Star” bucks.

You might also like:

Notary Space Station
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18920

Jeremy’s visit to hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20412

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October 24, 2019

What was the worst house you ever went into?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:46 pm

Have you ever been to a signing where you just didn’t want to go into the house? At 123notary we have heard many stories ranging from Legionaires disease caused by mold or bacteria, hoarding, people with long toenails that go click click click, Notaries pushed down stairs and more. Here is a list of types of situations where you might not want to go to the signing.

1. Legionnaires Disease
This is a disease that can cause serious lung diseases. If you go into a really dirty house that has a lot of bacteria, you could contract this disease which can be deadly. We advise you to think twice before going into an unsanitary house. It is more than just unpleasant — it could be your last.

2. Hoarders
Some people stack stuff from the floor to the roof and refuse to clean up. There are reality shows about this topic and it just isn’t funny. Hoarders have a mental disease that makes them believe that they actually need these useless things which they collect and that their life would be so much worse if they got rid of all of those things. If the hoarding is out of control it might be dangerous to go into a hoarders house as something could fall on your or trap you.

3. Good house bad neighborhood?
On the other hand, some houses are fine, but in bad neighborhoods where you might be afraid to go. I have heard issues of Notaries who are assigned jobs at tenement houses where risky looking people are hanging out in front of the building as well.

4. Parking Issues
There are houses where there is no place to park in certain types of communities as well.

5. GPS Issues
You might have houses on roads that are not on your GPS which is an interesting phenomenon.

6. Construction
If a house is having construction there could be issues. There could be dust that is not safe for you to breathe. There could be vehicles blocking you or equipment strewn all over the place. There might also be noise issues.

7. Smells
If you went to a house where they were cooking exotic food, you might smell an intense aroma of garam masala or something of that nature. You might hear the sounds of Vietnamese being spoken loudly too. Some people are sensitive to these things.

8. Sound
If you in a house that is noisy, that can be an issue. Some people do not turn off the television or have noisy rambunctious children dressed in Spider Man outfits.

9. Animals
Some houses have animals that are annoying or dangerous. Owners of dogs are genetically predispositioned to assume that the rest of the world just love dogs, and in particular their dogs and enjoy being viciously barked at, lunged at, and jumped on by their uncivilized furry friends. Not so. I had one borrower put their dog behind a closed door, only for Fido to emerge unannounced and jump all over me. Try locking the door and take people’s safety and comfort more seriously.

10. Attorneys
If you go to a signing and there are Attorneys or Brokers, you might be in for a long haul where there are line by line explanations. Couldn’t you do this before the signing?

11. Haunted
There might be ghosts in particular places. If so, tell the ghosts not to bother you during the signing and ask them to come back with some sort of etherial ID if they want to be notarized.

So, what are some of the worst houses or situations you have gone into?

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October 6, 2019

How do I sleep at night saying they are not as good?

Filed under: Certification & Communication Skills — admin @ 11:21 pm

A Notary posts — how do I sleep at night saying that the Notaries on some other site are not as good as the Notaries on my site. And then he states that I am not even a Notary.

Rebuttal:

I am not even a Notary
I used to be a Notary for eight years. I test Notaries on Notary procedure and they normally score an average of 35%. Is 35% good enough to practice Notary work? I score close to 100% on Notary questions and got very few wrong on the very hard California exam many years ago. Of course the content has change in California, but that is immaterial. I am not perfect, but I know Notary procedure better than most Notaries on my site — the exceptions are those that work for the NNA hotline or for state notary divisions as they normally know more than I do — although I caught a lady working for the California SOS make a logical mistake understanding credible witness procedure. The law is complicated and perhaps too convoluted.

How do I sleep at night saying that the Notaries on other sites are not as good?
I sleep fine, but sleep better if I take Advil and kefir (cultured milk). What can I say, the milk calms me down, and no, it doesn’t need to be warm milk like people in India insist. Since I tested almost all the Notaries on 123notary, and also test Notaries I find from particular other sources like Snapdocs, etc., I am aware of the quality of these notaries in terms of test results. Notaries on SnapDocs very rarely score higher than a D on my test. And the notaries that are the top ranking people in their state on SnapDocs do not normally do better than a C. Higher ranking Notaries on 123notary are not always good, but at least we have a good quantity of people who are masters of their craft and also have a depth of experience.

So, I am comparing apples to apples with fair scales. I have a right to assess the quality of Notaries because I represent them. I feel responsible to offer the world good Notaries if I can. I can only do my best. Who are you in your ignorance of this profession to criticize me — I have been running a directory for 20 years and have been a Notary for 8 and done very well on multiple tests not to mention created hundreds of test variations and stimulating quiz questions myself.

You might also like:

123notary vs. Snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21258

A tour of Notary Cafe
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21222

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September 2, 2019

Kenny Rogers’ Notary Song

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:57 pm

Here is a parody on Kenny Rogers’ song — “The Gambler.”

If you’re gonna play the Notary game, boy you gotta learn to play it right.

You’ve got to know when to take them
Know when to pass them up (because they only pay $50 or have too many fax backs)
Know when to walk away
And know when to run (to the Secretary of State’s office to report them)
You never count your number of clients
When you’re sitting at the signing table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the signing’s done.

Interpretation
If people call offering you jobs, if the job doesn’t pay enough, you might consider not taking it. On the other hand if you are hard up, you should probably take the job. If you get more signings under your belt, you might be in more demand due to more connections and better skill.

Some signings have too many fax backs or too many pages. Other signings might be from companies who cancel at the last minute or owe you too much to begin with.

Life in the Notary biz is not much different from Kenny Rogers’ song. So, try to brush up on your gambler skills, because you just might need them.

You might also like:

An Ode to Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21035

Notary Fortune Cookie
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22305

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September 1, 2019

How to effectively pick up Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:55 pm

Are you trying to pick me up?
Well I’m not putting you down!

If you want to date Notaries, you need to ask yourself a few pointed questions. First of all, why? Notaries are one of the most downtrodden professions in the world. Mostly they whine about not getting paid, yet do nothing to ensure that they do. Based on the fact that out of 7000 Notaries on 123notary, only about 100 or so have attained and kept our certification it seems that few have much knowledge or are concerned with proving their knowledge yet most make unsubstantiated claims to knowledge. Sounds very phony. Additionally, mobile Notaries have a tiring life on the road getting jerked around from job to job, having jobs cancelled and sometimes not getting paid. So, once again, why would you want to date a Notary.

ME: (back in the old days) Sign here please.

GIRL: Oh, I’m so excited to meet you. Do Notaries get paid well?

ME: Oh, about $3000 to $8000 per month on a good or bad month.

GIRL: Cool…

That girl was so excited to meet me that she scared me off, and besides, she wasn’t my type. But, she was the only girl who wanted to date a Notary, at least, during my shift.

The next order of business is: where would you meet Notaries. You can meet Notaries at the NNA convention, but they might not live in your area. You can also meet Notaries by having them come to your house to notarize something. You can call all the Notaries in town and chat them up to see who is up to your standards. You could also go to the Notary bar where Notaries hang out. The county clerk is yet another place where you can meet Notaries doing their Oath. Just wait until they say, “I do” to support the constitution of the USA and then say, “Hey baby, wanna date?” Sounds cheap, but it works.

If you have an age range you normally date, keep that in mind, because most Notaries are 50-80, so if you want to date younger people you might be out of luck. Younger Notaries might work in a bank or insurance company, so don’t give up, just avoid the mobile notaries if you focus on younger Notaries. But, if you do want to date a younger Notary, people might say, “So, you like younger Notaries…” with a smirk on their face.

So, now you have some ideas on how to date a Notary. The next issue is where to take your Notary on your date. Do you go to Cafe Le Jurat, do you get certified angus beef burgers, or an embossed giant oreo cookie? That choice is yours.

One lady tried to pick up a Notary walking down the street near the Secretary of State’s office, but she couldn’t get the Notary to acknowledge her (sorry, bad pun.) He just walked right by her. Then she chased him and swore at him. He said that you swear under Oath and not with profanity.

So there you have it — a complete guide to picking up and dating Notaries. Let me know if you have any questions.

You might also like:

Notary Pick Up Lines
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9851

A bar only for cool notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22546

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August 26, 2019

Don’t misspell business names

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:51 pm

Imagine that you are careless and misspell business names.

123notary could become our competitor Notary123.

NNA could become the NRA.

Complete Closers could become Complete Losers. Imagine!

So be careful when you write about Notary companies — or else!

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