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January 27, 2011

Notary Space Station; In Space, Nobody Can Hear You Sign!

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 12:38 am

Some Notaries were sent into space for an experiment. They were there to see what the realities are of notarizing in space. Sam tossed his Notary seal in the air, and it floated to the other side of the shuttle. Samantha wanted him to get that Notary seal “down”, but which way was down? Eventually Sam recovered his instrument of destruction, but Samantha wasn’t amused. They were waiting for a replacement part for a high tech to be sent from Earth along with some other goodies. A TEA agent was to be sent in the ship to assure that delivery was successful.

Sam, Samantha and the others were practicing using all types of futuristic Notary seals. Of course to them it was not futuristic as they were living in 2040. Sam was happy that he could live a year in 365 days 23 hours and 57 minutes because they were traveling faster than the speed of the Earth up there do the warp in the time-space continuum. Not only was space warped, but Sam’s choice of humor was also a bit warped.

The most evolved machine could move itself over an ID, scan it for genuineness, inspect journal signatures, and then seal the document with hi-tech ink. But, they needed a replacement part that was coming tomorrow.

Then, the shuttle came. It approached the space station, it slowly adjusted itself. It docked successfully. They opened the connecting hatch happily in hopes of seeing Jim the TEA agent. But, Jim’s body was laying there in pieces with blood all over it. And creatures from the movie Alien were there — three of them. Mom, Dad, and a little one who was munching on Jim’s flesh. Then, there was a loud scream.

Samantha tapped Sam on the shoulder and said, “You were just having a bad dream. Was it a dream about a Notarization?”
Then Sam said, “No, it was a dream about the creature from Alien getting off that shuttle and killing us all.
Samantha said, “Well you know what they say — in space, no one can hear you sign! — or scream…”

.

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A Notary sees a UFO
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January 26, 2011

George Lopez Gets Notarized

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , , — admin @ 11:36 pm

ANGIE: Now, you know the notarization is due at work in two days. We need to get a Notary here.

GEORGE: Okay, okay, okay. I’ll do it. Call someone from 123notary.com. They’ll send someone. And have them send someone who speaks Spanish.

ANGIE: But, you speak perfectly good English.

GEORGE: I know, I know, but if I offer them some chips and salsa de chile arbol after the notarization, if they speak Spanish, they won’t give me funny looks.

CARMEN: Everybody gives you funny looks.

GEORGE: Now, you watch your mouth Carmen. You remember who put you here on this planet.

VIC (Angie’s father) : It is so ironic, that he could put you here…. on this planet… when he himself is from an entirely different planet…

ANGIE: Where are you going in such a hurry?

VIC: I have a hot date with my 27 year old girlfriend. We are going to a five star buffet. Don’t tell her anything. She thinks I’m not a day over fifty-five…

ERNIE: I brought my mobile internet. Look, you can get 123notary.com/m right on my iphone. You never know when you need a Notary.

GEORGE: Funny you should mention that. I need a notarized affidavit, contract, and deposition tambien!

ERNIE: All of that? I hope they give you a package deal and throw in some tickets to the Lakers game too for what they are going to charge.

CARMEN: Do they have notaries who are cute?

BENNY: Yeah, I’ll settle for a younger guy, maybe around forty… who doesn’t drink too much, and doesn’t have any neck tattoos. Or at least not too many.

(the next day…)

NOTARY: Boy, the traffic here is terrible. George, you have all the documents we talked about right?

GEORGE: (shows up in white beard and looking 80 years old) Yes, I’m ready to notarize my son’s permission to go on a trip form.

NOTARY: I thought I was notarizing George.

GEORGE: Just kidding. Here I am and here is my ID.

NOTARY: You really had me there George!

GEORGE: That’s nothing. Check out what I got from one of the guys at Whole Foods. It’s the new thing in fashion for those in the food industry. A beard net!

NOTARY: Tan Loco George! But, I like it!

.

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Woody Allen gets notarized
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The Notaries! Having Emmys for Notaries!

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:58 pm

With yet another Hollywood awards season and mutual admiration society of back-patting waiting in the wings, it’s time to say enough already! How hard is it to act like other people? I act like I care how you are when I ask, “How are you?” You act like you care how I am when you respond, “How are you?” Where are our awards? Where are our mantel dust collectors that equate with our self-worth? (Does my CableACE Award count? It’s defunct. It better not equate with my self-worth.)

It’s time to shine an overdue light on the people who truly deserve recognition. It’s time the notary publics went public. Move over Emmys, and get ready for… The Notaries!

“I’m Andy Cowan, and I’m here on the beige carpet. It’s The Notaries, you weren’t expecting red? It’s a veritable who isn’t who of never weres, wannabes and probably never will be’s! Oh look, there’s the guy who stamped something I needed him to stamp once for a reason that’s long since escaped me. Who are you wearing?”

“A Sears catalogue original.”

“I should have known. Good luck tonight! Can you tell us a little about your next project?”

“Been promising the wife I’d clean out the garage.”

“We’ll look forward to that. Or at least she will.”

Announcer: “From the entertainment capital of the world… give or take a thousand miles… it’s the first annual Notary Awards! … Here now, your host… Andy Cowan!”

“Thank you. Sorry I’m out of breath. I was on the beige carpet. I’m the pre and actual host. I’m also supposed to clean up later, and beige shows the dirt, so it’s gonna be a long night. Since they also saved by not hiring monologue writers, let’s get right to it, shall we? The nominees for best notary public in a supporting role are… Jim Diggles, in “Sit down, and I’ll stamp that for you” … Maria Isaacs, in “Here’s the paper I stamped for you” … and Larry Kreps, in “This stamping will just take a second” …

And the Notary goes to… Larry Kreps!”

Announcer: “This is Larry Kreps’ first Notary Award. Duh! These are the first Notary Awards.”

Larry Kreps: “Oh, my, this is surreal. Thank you so much! Wow. This simulated gold-plated paper with a stamp on it is kinda heavy! First, let me thank my fellow nominees. I’d mention their names, but I only just heard them a moment ago and didn’t memorize them. I share this award with each of you, but the piece of paper I’m reading this on right now hasn’t been certified, so don’t hold me to that.”

Andy’s kazoo signals him to wrap up.

Andy Cowan is an award-winning writer, producer and performer, whose credits include “Cheers,” “Seinfeld” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” He can be reached through his website, http://upanddownguys.com

Tweets:
(1) From the entertainment capital of the world… give or take a thousand miles… it’s the first annual Notary Awards!

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Snapdocs is copying 123notary (in a few ways)

Filed under: Popular on Twitter 2011,Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 10:15 am

I just found out that Snapdocs has ten basic questions they ask their members about loan signing. Those questions are nothing to compare with how thoroughly we test our higher level notaries. However, I was impressed at the quality of the Snapdocs questions. They were very practical and useful questions, and not very difficult either.

I heard that Snapdocs had had those questions from long time back. But, they seem to be emphasizing questions more, as I did not hear of them asking technical questions before. So, does that mean that Snapdocs is copying 123notary’s style? Does that mean they are learning from us? Is 123notary influencing how the industry does business? I am feeling that we are making an impact, although I cannot definitively say it is true.

I think if we at 123notary talk to the title companies and make a list of all the dangerous and foolish things that so many notaries do, the title companies will become a lot more hesitant to hire a Notary who does not have proven skills. We want to promote our certification, and now that we have cleaned it up, it represents a certain higher standard of knowledge.

I wonder how much Snapdocs will do to enforce or encourage a higher level of Notary knowledge. Few Notaries will try to get that distinction unless something changes in the industry and people start valuing education.

.

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Notary opinions about Snapdocs in the forum & blog commentary
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Snapdocs profiles are getting more impressive, but…
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See our string about Snapdocs
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Compilation of posts about SnapDocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

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Clarifying vague claims in your notes section

Filed under: Your Notes Section — Tags: , , , — admin @ 8:20 am

Vague: I am experienced
Better: I have signed a million loans including reverse mortgages, HELOCS, 1st & 2nd mortgages, and Debt Consolidations

Vague: I am dependable
Better: I always confirm the signing from my car. I let them know my ETA and let people know if I am running late (which is not the norm)

Vague: I am meticulous
Better: I always triple check my work and make sure that my stamp is clear, especially on recorded documents.

Vague: I love people
Better: It is so nice to constantly be meeting new people all the time at signings.

Vague: I love animals
Better: I always introduce myself to all of the animals at a house when I do a signing. Animals understand me — and if you don’t believe me then ask them!

Vague: I am detail oriented
Better: I am very particular about where each initial goes, and how it is formed. I like people to put suffixes on their initials such as Jr. or III when applicable just to be thorough.

Vague: I am very professional
Better: I wear business casual to all signings. I introduce myself at the door and NEVER park in the driveway unless requested to by the borrowers. I introduce the documents one by one and show the borrowers all critical information on each one, before we start signing.

Vague: I have a flexible schedule
Satirical: My schedule is very flexible because IT does yoga. I do not do yoga, but my schedule takes regular yoga classes at Bikram, so I can accommodate signings at the oddest of hours.

Better: I am available from 8am to 10pm, but will consider signing after that if given advanced notice and extra financial compensation.

Vague: 10 years of notary experience
Specific: 1000 loans signed (more more informative)

Vague: I have 20 years in the financial industry
Specific: I was a Mortgage Broker for 10 years and a Title Officer for another 10 years.

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5 Benefits Of Notarizing Your Business Documents

Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — admin @ 4:25 am

The government does trust the notary public, so their signature or seal is a valid sign of document reliability. Below are a few reasons why you need to have a notary public present when you are signing your essential business documents:

Your contracts become ‘self-authenticating.’
Under the Federal Rules of Evidence, a contract with a notary public’s seal is considered to be self-authenticated; meaning that in the case of a case, the witnesses who signed the documents need not appear in court to verify their signatures. This saves plenty of time, money and acts as a huge convenience in the witnesses favor.

They ensure that your documents are signed under the right circumstances
Technically, the notary public notarizes your signature, not the documents themselves. They are reliable witnesses to the fact that the person whose signature is on the document in question is indeed the one who signed it. They also ensure that the person who signed it was of sound mind and not under any duress. Again, the notary public has to ensure that the witnesses who sign your documents are within the legal right to do so.

Notarization provides clarity
There are many legal documents now that stipulate the way people go about their lives. A Power of attorney is required by a grandchild to make significant, life-altering decisions for their ailing grandparent, or title deeds to transfer ownership of land. With a notary public’s signature, these documents’ validity can be ascertained to avoid grey areas that cause conflicts.

Notaries ensure that the documents in question are adequately executed
All legally binding documents hold the signer to a commitment, and one of the notary public’s duties is to ensure that the signer fully acknowledges the agreements and obligations. For instance, for a will to be valid, it needs to include the signature of the testator, and those of two witnesses, plus a QLD probate process to facilitate execution. Yet, some states will require that a will be notarized for it to be valid. Again, if disputes are litigated, it is crucial to have a notary present. A court considers sworn affidavits as valid if they are notarized.

Protects you from fraud, identity theft, and other kinds of crimes
Having a notary public present during the signing of your documents provides you with the safest possible fallback plan, if not a prevention plan in the case of forgery and other serious white collar crimes. In this age of technology and sophisticated forgery schemes, you cannot go wrong by having your documents notarized. Notarization is now a major risk management tool for all kinds of businesses.

Conclusion:
Many people avoid notarization services because they are an added expense and may take time. However, with e-notarization, you get quick and more convenient services to keep your business documents risk-free.

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January 25, 2011

Notary Housewives

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:42 pm

You’ve heard of Mafia housewives, Mid-Western houswives, well now there’s Notary housewives.

WIFE #1: Honey, I thought we talked about that before.

NOTARY #1: I know, I know, I know. I was supposed to do this a month ago. Get an inkless thumbprinter so I don’t come home with ink all over my hands.

WIFE #1: The NNA sells them for only about $16. Just do it. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to take out the garbage — it’s stacking up.

NOTARY #1: So, are you still mad at me?

WIFE #1: About taking late night jobs? It’s not that. I just want to know where you are. It makes me feel uncomfortable that you’re with strange women at all hours of the night.

NOTARY #1: For your information, they’re not strange. And there are men too who I notarize.

WIFE #1: You notarize men too?

NOTARY #1: Of course I do. Men have notarial needs too. Didn’t you know that?

WIFE #1: Well, I’d just be more comfortable if you would call and let me know where you are and what you’re doing.

INTERVIEWER: I’d like to ask the other wives what type of issues they’ve had with their husbands. How about you Samantha. Tell us your story.

SAMANTHA: I met him five years ago. I thought he was the best guy on earth. I wasn’t bothered by the fact that he was a Notary. I didn’t know that had a stigma to it. It took me a year to find out why. We were at this party. They had a BBQ, kids, families. We were just hanging around mingling. It was nice. I liked it. That is the way weekends should be. Then, Bob got a call. I couldn’t believe it. And he actually answered it. It’s Saturday — how can you answer a business call on a Saturday? He told me the whole deal about how he had bills to pay. I said, your bills can wait. Enjoy yourself. They offered him $100 to come out and sign a few documents. So, he asked if I wanted to come with him. I foolishly said yes. It was horrible sitting there watching the entire family there fight while he signed some contract documents for them. I don’t see how he can handle that type of life. So, after we finished driving and doing the job, it was too late to go back to the BBQ. I wanted to make new friends. But, instead, I drove around town with my mobile notary boyfriend who I later married. Since then, it has only gotten worse.

INTERVIEWER: I’d love to learn how it got worse. But, we’re running out of time. I want to hear Gwen’s story. Gwen, tell us what happened last week with your Notary husband.

GWEN: You wouldn’t believe what happened to me yesterday. I told my husband that I wasn’t feeling like myself. I asked him if he had any suggestions. He recommended that I check my ID to see who my ID said I was. So, I did — and sure enough, I was myself. Then, he said perhaps I should have a separate ID for when I don’t feel like myself to reflect that person. What a nut! Then, I said to him — I feel like I don’t really know you anymore. He told me that I can be either personally known, or proven on the basis of satisfactory evidence. What’s that all about?

INTERVIEWER: It sounds like you’re growing apart. It’s normal for the excitement in a relationship to wear off — especially if that relationship is with a Notary.

GWEN: Tell me about it.

INTERVIEWER: Well, we’re out of time. Tune in next week for another episode of Notary Housewives called Housewives without Mortgages!

.

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The man who wouldn’t use his middle initial

Filed under: Legal Issues,Technical & Legal — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:21 pm

Once upon a time, there was a man who didn’t want to sign with his middle initial.

This man was very uncomfortable using his middle initial and protested vehemently.

He wanted to use his regular signature to protect himself from identity fraud. He felt that signing in a slightly different way would make him succeptable to identity fraud.

During the initial signing, he was forced against his will to sign with his middle initial. This was during the time when he was doing a purchase on the property. Then, several years later on the refinance signing, the notary explained how he wouldn’t get his money if he didn’t sign with his middle initial.

No initial — No $200,000 — it’s that simple.

So, after a little coaxing, the signer did what the notary asked, and signed using his middle initial, and all went well.

And everyone lived happily ever after

The End!

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A scene from the Minion Loan Signing

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:39 pm

The Stevens needed to have their loan signed. However, a small mishap occured right before the signing. The Notary’s car was attacked by 200 minions who stole the Notary’s seal, journal and appointment schedule. A few minutes later, a few minions showed up at the loan signing for the Stevens.

(knock knock)

MRS STEVENS: Uh, hello? Can I help you?

BOB: Hello, hello

KEVIN: Hello (meanwhile Stuart is going in through the window)

MRS STEVENS: I see you have a Notary Seal. Are you the Notary?

BOB: I’m Notary Bob. he he, he he, he he. Notary! (jumps on the table with notary bag) Notarize documents!

KEVIN: I help Bob. Assist he-he he-he he-he (jumps on table and slides all the way to the end at lightening speed)

MRS STEVENS: Are you sure you are a Notary?

BOB: Bob Notary has commission (whispers into Kevin’s ear… “quick get me a commission!”)

KEVIN: One moment — one moment… ha ha, ha ha, ha ha. Be right back. (jumps out window and scribbles something on a paper on the lawn and then embosses it with gold seal)

BOB: See — Bob Notary real Notary. Real Notary ha ha, ha ha, ha ha.

MRS STEVENS: I’m not so sure about this.

BOB: You sign the document. This page, this page… right here,

MRS STEVENS: I don’t want to sign

KEVIN: Ohhhh…..

MR STEVENS: But, I’ll sign

KEVIN: yay!!!!! ha ha, ha ha, ha ha. Sign right there…. Bob Notary Notarize you!

MR STEVENS: Okay, I’ll sign this one and this one and this one.

BOB: Okay…. Now, I notarize! Here’s my stamp. Hmmmm…. out of ink. Uh-oh!

KEVIN: Uh-oh

STUART: Oh-oh… no problem, I brought ink!

BOB: I add ink! Oopss… (spills ink all over the documents) uh-oh

KEVIN: Uh-oh

STUART: Uh-oh…. borrower copies! (whips out borrower copies and Mr. Stevens signs them again.)

BOB: Okay… I stamp here…. stamped. done… notaized! notarized! notarized!

KEVIN: I put them in Fedex! … All done!

MINIONS: Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye… (they all jump out window. Then, they jump in the car and drop it in the Fedex box.)

KEVIN: But, what if Fedex driver doesn’t come?

BOB: uh-oh! —- ahhhh… Bob Notary has idea! Move Fedex box to Fedex station!

MINIONS: Yay!!! good idea… good idea….

So, about 200 minions come out of nowhere, rip the fedex box out of the cement and deliver it to the Fedex station and drop it in front of the staff member.

BOB: Bob Notary want receipt.

FEDEX GUY: I’m calling the police

BOB: We control the police as part of our world domination! King Bob rules!

FEDEX GUY: Okay, never mind.

MINIONS: Okay, okay okay… thank you! (then they slide back into the parking lot at lightening speed, and run away giggling!) ha ha, ha ha, ha ha….

.

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A resurgence in interest in 123notary certification

Filed under: Certification & Communication Skills — admin @ 10:51 am

(originally from 2019)

More and more Notaries are becoming a lot more serious and interested in 123notary.com certification. In the old days people said, “I am already NNA certified so why do I need yours?” The answer was always — how much work do you get from signing agent.com. The answer was generally, “not much.” Our site is based on quality and our certification gets people more work.

The amount of interest is like drops in a bucket. Every week a few people express interest and some of them will study enough. But, this can add up over time. Carmen and I like teaching people and we have given a lot of free time to those who expressed an interest in Notary knowledge.

I hope that in the future people start taking notary education more seriously. Although the general climate in the notary industry is low-balling and not quality, quality notaries do get more business and do make more money. So, there is a huge benefit in being at the top of the food chain even in today’s market.

People love our Notary Public 101 course on the blog. We have had more than 10,000 people visit the home page of that course. Most people read it for pleasure and not for mastery, but that is better than nothing. I hope that more Notaries express an interest in learning regardless of who they learn from. 123notary is not just a job, it is my craft and I seek to be the best craftsman I can be by having the best directory. Having the best directory means having the best and most desirable Notaries and that means that you guys need to study and be your best.

Many of you have the intellect to be masters of this trade. However few of you start out with the knowledge. Knowledge is there for the taking. It is just a matter of approaching the information with the intention of mastery. This takes time, patience and perseverance, and perhaps a little tutoring from the people here at 123notary.

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